The Tale of an OP Delinquent
by Kingman13
Summary: Meet Screaver Bartel, an average delinquent who just so happens to have a thing for anime. And wouldn't you know it, he gets sucked into the world of his favorite anime One Piece! Join Screaver on this journey of violence, friendship, love, and stupidity.
1. Chapter 1

**This fanfic is currently under revision, this message will change when it is completed, there are a shit load of chapters…**

**I don't own One Piece, any characters in One Piece, or any references to movies, video games, TV, internet celebrities, Chuck Norris (There are a LOT of references) or anything else.**

**A "Normal" Life**

**The Story of a Average Delinquent**

"SCREAVER, GET YOUR ASS UP! I AIN"T WAKIN YOU UP EVERY FREAKIN MORNIN ANYMORE!"

"THEN DON"T WAKE ME UP GOD DAMN IT!"

This is what I like to see as a wondrous morning ritual that I share with my dad every time I forget to set my alarm (which isn't occasionally).

Usually I remember to set my phone, but I was up till 12:00 reading this really cool manga, so I didn't get a good night's sleep.

After getting dressed into my jeans & one of my five shirts for the week, I inhaled several pieces of buttered toast, picked up my 'untouched' backpack since Friday, got into a ten second argument with my old fart of a father about _values _and blah blah blah, and ran for the bus. Caught it in the nick of time too.

I sat down next to my best friend Kody. He was one of my only white friends and one of the only people who knew about my otakuness. I told him about it a while back and he's been pretty cool about it, but that's probably because he is, in fact, a stoner. He swears that he quit, but he's still pretty mellow.

"Sup man…" he said in his slow way.

"Nothin much, got into a fight with my dad this morning, again." I said.

"Ah that's dads man. I didn't even know my dad after he tried to choke me when I was 6 months old."

Oh Kody; always trying to one up me in shock value.

"DUDE! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THAT!" I yelled, and punched him in the arm.

My name is Screaver Damien Bartel, I'm 18 year-old delinquent from Texas. Most people don't know my middle name, because I never tell anyone. Just call me Screaver Bartel for now. And don't ask me where my parents got the name Screaver…I don't have a clue

I'm about 6'2, brown hair, brown eyes. That's about all I can say really. I guess people call me _heavy set _which doesn't mean I'm fat or anything, just **big. **And I carry plenty of scars on my body. My arms, face, even a few on my back. I kinda have a messed up childhood or something, but I don't have to get into that.

If you want to _really_ understand me, there are three things you really need to know.

I am an otaku…okay that isn't entirely true. I'm a _closet _otaku. At school I am a regular guy who claims to know nothing of anime. I don't mean it, I really love anime, but I just can't let that fact out. But when I step off that bus, walk slowly home, drop my backpack, and sit in my chair…let's just say I have lost track of how many hours of anime I have watched & manga I have read.

I am a fighter. I don't know why. It's just when I get into an argument with a guy, that guy walks a way with a broken nose or a bruised arm. I can't help it. I really shouldn't have taken those boxing classes, because it only causes more grief for the other guy at the end of the spectrum. I don't mean I will pick a fight for no reason. If they throw the first, I will use my full force on them. I also won't ever hit a man while he's down, or hit a girl if I can help it.

I have a sort of mixed sense of justice. I mean if there were a bunch of people ganging up on one small guy for a dumb reason, I would surely help him out. But I don't judge people on what they did in the past. I mean if I knew a guy who…oh I don't know…burned his house down three years ago, and he hasn't done anything like that since then, I won't care. As long as no one messes with anything or anyone I like and care about, I won't bother them. Does that make sense?

We finally made it to, what I like to call, the absolute worst school in the county, Jillian High School.

School those days just seemed to blur by.

I mean halfway through your senior year you just stop caring and just unconsciously move from classroom to classroom, not talking to other people and just zoning out thinking about Pokemon or giant robots battling each other.

I didn't really talk to many people; mostly people seemed to avoid me.

And at a school with mini cartels and gangs hanging out in the cafeterias, that's saying something when _nobody_ wants to mess with you.

So after another day of being in Jillian High, I returned to my bedroom and spent several hours watching, what else, anime.

I rewatched some of the earlier episodes of One Piece and tried to remember when I first saw it.

I was introduced to the 4kids version first unfortunately, but from what they seemed to ruined with bad voice acting and extreme editing still seemed interesting.

So I found all the subbed episodes and got absorbed into the world of the otaku.

Desert Punk, Gurren Lagan, mostly shonen.

I'm also a big Soul Eater fan, and even went as far as creating my own kind of Demon Weapon.

It's a weapon that can turn into a bazooka! I have the size and color, and all the abilities all thought out. Hell I even tried to draw it! But I'm not that great of an artist. Sorry, getting off topic.

Anyway, my day was going to end well, when my dad walked in. This was going to be the defining moment in my life.

"Screaver, we need to talk." His voice sounded upset.

"What is it dad?"

"Son…this is getting ridiculous. I don't want you playing on that computer anymore."

I jumped out of my chair. "What? But why?"

"Screaver, it's screwing with your life! Your grades are in the crapper, you won't stop fighting at school, and it's all you ever do when you get home. As your father, I'm not going to let you end up like some low life scum on the side of the street. I'm taking that computer away until you learn to get your act together!"

"Stop! Dad, Jillian High is a shit school, the other kids start it first, and after spending all my time in school this is the best way of relieving my stress! And I'm not going to end up like some damn hobo!"

"Well you're on your way! I'm taking that computer!"

I struggled with him for a bit, but my dad was stronger than me. He pushed me aside, ripped the computer out of the wall, and left me with his final words, "this is for your own good!"

I sat in my room for an hour trying to grasp what just happened. My conscious was trying to speak to me as it normally does when I don't want it to.

_Well, what now Screaver? Your dad has taken away your computer. They won't allow you to get on the internet at school, and Kody doesn't have a computer._

_Shut up. _I told it.

But I had to admit, my conscious was making some sense.

Maybe anime _was_ taking too much of my time. I had other obligations at school & at work.

I blew what few friends I had off so I could just zone out and play on the computer.

Whenever I wasn't at school, at work, or fighting some stupid guy because I accidentally looked at him wrong, I was watching goofing around and watching anime. Maybe a break would be good for me…

I stood up and nodded.

"From now on, I'm going to cut anime from my life!"

-WHOOSH-

And suddenly, I wasn't in my room anymore.

In fact, I didn't know where the hell I was. I knew that I was floating somewhere since my feet weren't touching the ground. All I could see was neon blue lights surrounding me.

I herd an echoing voice inside of my head repeating some strange language over and over again. It sounded like a guy.

_Is quisnam does non puto does non ago._

It wasn't Spanish I could tell, nor was it Japanese. Latin maybe? A friend of mine was learning Latin and sometimes told me some phrases in Latin before, it was roughly similar. For 10 or so minutes it repeated that line, and I finally got fed up.

"HEY! IF THIS IS A KIDNAPPING, I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS YA BITCH!"

_Ego vadum tribuo vos unus res vestri pectus pectoris verum votum._

"Speak English dammit!" As you can probably tell from how my day had been going, I wasn't a happy camper.

And, once again, I wasn't in that blue room anymore. I was falling out of the sky, over a blue ocean, with no feeling but the sting of the air.

Now I know you all think I wasn't scared in the least right? I'm Screaver Bartel, the biggest badass anyone has ever seen right? Well, the only thing I was thinking was _AHHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK?_

So where was I? Oh yeah. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK?" Did I get pushed out of a plane?

Was this some overblown revenge plan from one of my many enemies from school?

Was I dreaming?

Nope, it wasn't any of those things, but I didn't have time to think of what the flying fuck was happening!

I finally crashed into the water below with a painful -_SPLASH-_

I don't know how I could have been still alive after hitting the water from that high, but I slipped into unconsciousness as I began to sink further down into the salty depths below.


	2. Chapter 2

I should probably mention, I don't dream. Never once in my life have I had an original dream. When I fall asleep, all I see are things that happened in my past, like watching a movie of my memories. This time was no exception. I was back on the bus sitting next to Kody. It was over packed with people, to which where there were actually three people to a seat! Anyway, we were lucky enough to have only to in our seat, mostly because everyone was too afraid to sit next to me. Either that, or they didn't trust Kody (hey, I don't blame them.)

"I'm sure glad that everyone is afraid of you, that way we don't have to have a sweaty Mexican sitting in this spot." Kody said with drowsy bliss. Oh yeah, did I mention that Kody was a bit racist.

"Shut up Kody, you think that I want to be all alone the rest of my life? If I could only find a girlfriend…" I said with annoyance.

"Shit dude, I didn't think you were into _real_ chicks. I thought you were the one who jerked off to hentai…" I punched him, hard, in the gut.

"Say that again and you'll be sitting in a hospital for the next 2 weeks." I said in my most calm & angry tone.

"Dude, dude, I was joking! Look Screav, there are so many chicks out there, there has to be at least one good looking one who would go for a emotionally broken, anger management guy like you. Just keep biding your time."

I sighed, "yeah whatever. What kind of girl would want a pasty white, scrawny, zitfaced, ex-stoner like you though?"

"Hey Screaver…" Kody paused and waved his middle finger at me… "Shut de fuck up!" This was his running joke whenever someone would make fun of him. I got off the bus, it drove away into the distance, and the scene faded.

I woke up in a bed inside a small wooden hut of some sort. A man with blue hair was asleep in a chair next to me. I was all bandaged up, but that wasn't what was bugging me. There were two things that I noticed. First, I was alive. I had fallen from God knows how many stories in the air and landed into the sea, but was still in tact. This was nothing less of a miracle, and second, I felt relatively fine. My joints were a bit sore, but I felt ok. It was like I just woke up from a 2 day nap (trust me, I know).

I stood up from the bed, but almost collapsed on the spot. One other problem I have is hypoglycemia. I hadn't have had dinner before going to my room, and I have probably missed out on a few meals if I had been sleeping for that long.

"Whoa, you shouldn't be walking now in your condition." The blue haired man said.

I was weak with hunger, but I managed to pull myself back to bead with his help.

"Need…food," was all I could reply with. He left for a few minutes and brought a whole tray filled with some strange food. Barely any meat, just rice and… _green_ things.

_Now is not the time to be picky…_my conscious said.

_Yeah, I know,_ I told it.

My plate was empty before I knew it.

"Hungry guy aren't you. We found you washed up on the beach so we took you to our village and fixed you up. You've been out for two days."

After I finished my food, 28 seconds to be precise, I said slowly, "where am I?"

"You are on Organ Island, on the outskirts of Orange Town."

"Never herd of either of those places." I was still fighting off the two day grogginess and trying to force my brain to think. Haven't I heard of that place before?

_The hell kind of name is Orange Town in the first place? Is that in Florida?_

"Wait, why on the outskirts of…Orange Town? Why not in the town?" The man took a long pause and sighed in grief.

"Oh, I'm sorry for asking then." I laid my head on my pillow and decided to rest my eyes.

"No no, its fine," he said in dismay, "but ever since Buggy the Clown invaded our town, we haven't been able to anything other than runaway. All I hope is that he leaves for the Grand Line already and die like the rest of those pirate scum."

I bolted upright, eyes wide open.

"Excuse me…"

_No way._

"…did you just say…"

_You got to be shitting me._

"…Buggy the Clown? As in the evil PIRATE Buggy the Clown?"

_ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?_

"Is there any other pirate named Buggy the Clown? You must be tired to forget something like that; you should get some rest…"

I knocked him out of the way, completely awake, and ran out the door. As I looked around I saw makeshift buildings & shacks, filled with people with worried faces. But that didn't matter to me. I ran to the farthest cliff and looked down. Sure enough, I saw the old town. It also had several craters in the ground, probably from those Buggy cannonballs. I looked towards the harbor and, sure enough, saw the pirate ship. I think it's called Big Top.

Ok, so I'm in the world of my favorite anime One Piece…

Of course I had that moment that everyone would have that has to do with OH MY GOOOOD and WHAT THE FUUUCK and MY LIFE IS OOOOOVER.

But after all was said and broken, I started rationalizing the situation.

_Ok, so I'm in the world of One Piece. At least, if this had to happen, it's the anime I know like the back of my hand. This is like those fanfics that those girls write. Weird how no guy has written one though. So what do I do? Well since Buggy is still here, then Luffy hasn't shown up. I guess if I want to get anywhere I should find Luffy, but what if he's still at the Marine base or with Alvida? I guess I'll have to wait until that bird he gets caught in gets shot down._

As if on cue, I saw that pink bird fly overhead. I thought it would be funny to try and count out when it would get shot down.

"3…2…1…"

'KABOOM!'

A little figure fell from the cloud of smoke that I presumed was Luffy.

_This is where the fun begins._

I raced off the cliff and headed for the town.


	3. Chapter 3

**Party on the Cliff**

**The Heroic Hero Steps In!**

Even though I had seen the town before, I got completely lost. I had no idea where to go. I stumbled around for an hour and finally resorted to climbing to the roof of one of the houses and looked around. I didn't see where Luffy crashed, but I saw the cliff where presumably Buggy & his crew were staying. I decided to pay him a visit.

I found a small path up the cliff, but it didn't lead me up all the way and had to climb up the rest of the way. It wasn't that hard really. I got to the top, caught my breath and ducked behind a few crates. Then I saw them.

They looked pretty stupid, just like in the show. They were eating, drinking, and dancing like nobodies business. And in the center, was the ringleader of this circus of stupidity, Buggy. Now I am a Buggy hater, I think he is the dumbest and most annoying antagonist out of all of them. He wasn't that intimidating either. The only clown that I ever saw as intimidating was when Heath Ledger played the Joker in the "Dark Knight." This guy was a total fagot, with all the stupid make-up and big red nose. All the other pirates were just as pointless and forgettable.

Anyway, they were partying away when I heard footsteps coming up from the path. All the pirates stopped partying and faced forward at the person walking forward. I knew who it was before everyone else.

Nami showed up, live and in person, only a few meters from me.

Literally my jaw dropped. Now, in opposite of the first statement, I am a HUGE Nami fan. I thought she was the hottest female anime character I ever saw. Her orange hair, maroon eyes, sly smile, and that wonderful figure with those huge…well I won't go into detail. She was 10 times as good looking in person then she was in the anime. I never thought I would see the day when I got to see her in person!

But there she was…

And here I was…

_Guess that's one bonus to being sucked into an anime huh?_

She was leading a guy into the area by rope. I immediately identified him as Luffy. He was just as goofy as he looked in the anime as well, with black hair and wide eyes, wearing that straw hat of his and that scar under his eye. But I didn't really care about him at the moment because NAMI WAS RIGHT THERE!

She pushed him to the ground and said, "I captured the thief, Buggy the Clown, leader of this pirate fleet. I will return your map too."

-sigh- I love it when she lies like a total bitch…the dog, not the…forget it.

Buggy asked with a smile on his face, "I appreciate you bringing it back, but why the sudden change of heart?"

"I got into an argument with my boss, and I'm sick of it. Please, let me join the Buggy Pirate crew!" She cooed in her 'cute' voice.-sigh- She's so pretty when she's telling such an obvious lie (at least to me it is).

Buggy and his crew cheered in happiness and they spent another hour partying, but not before shoving Luffy in a cage. Good God this was so boring, and I was getting so hungry. Watching others party is no fun unless your there right next to them. But I had to remain hidden. I saw Nami give Luffy a bite of her food (a 'Luffy' bite at least), Buggy chatted with them, and then he lifted his head high and announced, "BOYS! PREPARE THE SPECIAL CANNONBALL!"

They set up the cannon, loaded the bomb inside, and prepared to fire.

-KABOOM-

The cannon obliterated several rows of houses in under a minute! My eardrums screamed in agony! In fact my ears were still ringing as they turned the cannon around, facing Luffy, but I didn't need to hear to know what Buggy told Nami. He handed her the matches and everyone started to chant, "SHOOT! SHOOT! SHOOT!"

Nami wasn't looking all that anxious to fry her would-be captain. Luffy muttered some words to her, but I couldn't hear them. I knew what they were though. 'Your hands are shaking' and 'pirates code' and stuff. Then that other pirate came up, snatched the matches and lit the cannon, but not before Nami gave him a good smack to the face with her staff. Buggy cried out, "KILL HER PAINFULLY!"

The pirates charged at her, shouting jeers and threats.

_What do you think you're thinking of?_ My conscious chimed in.

_I can't let her get hurt, I care about her to much,_ I replied.

_ARE YOU NUTS? She's not real! You would be risking your own life for nothing!_

_As long as I'm here, in this world, I WON'T LET HER GET HURT!_ I did the only thing that came natural; picking a fight with someone who I knew little about!

I charged, fast as lightning, and with one giant leap gave them an ultimate dropkick, Chuck Norris style. They flew into the tables a good 10 meters away, and stood my ground between Nami and the others.

One of the crewmembers gasped, "Huh? Who's that guy? He just sent three of our men flying? Is he with them?"

I held up my fists and slipped into my stance.

"Nope, I'm just the guy who's going to beat the mother-loving shit out of all you pansies!"

I looked back at Nami. She was on the ground using her hands to put out the fuse to the cannon. "Where did you come from?" she said in shock.

"Screaver Bartel, at your service, madam," I replied in the coolest voice I could think of.

"I DON'T CARE IF HE POPPED UP OUT OF NOWHERE! KILL HIM ALONG WITH THE REST!" Buggy shouted in rage.

"KEEP DREAMING YOU TOMATO NOSED FAGGOT!" This was probably not the right thing to say at the moment. All his men charged at me with a mixture of anger and fear, probably because Buggy's face had turned a violent shade of violet. They my have been fighting for God knows how many years, but I have been in boxing since I was 8, and have taken up kickboxing when I was 10. Plus there is also all my other fights in and outside school. They were completely outmatched.

I disarmed the first two and dispatched them both with a leg sweep. The next guy was a big fat one, so I gave him a good right hook to the jaw and took out his left leg with a strong kick to the knee. The next three were a bunch of high flying acrobatics, but didn't put up much of a challenge. The first guy pretty much landed in my hand and I dropped him on his head. The second one was slower than the rest, so one good punch to the gut was enough to send him flying. The third guy gave me a small cut to my arm, but the adrenaline wasn't allowing me to feel pain and I elbowed him in the chest. He kind of went flying to. I guess in the world of One Piece, and punch thrown by a strong guy is enough to send the bad guy flying. I stood tall and proud above the fallen me as the other guys began to back off.

"Whoa, what is he? Is he a monster? Did he eat a devil fruit?" They were all nervous to step forward.

"Amazing," Nami commented in awe.

"Heh heh ha ha ha, your pretty strong! I want you in my crew!" Luffy cheered in glee.

My burst of energy had all but run out, and the pain was getting to me. I had apparently been cut in several other places, but they weren't that serious. My body was still sore from my skydive into the sea as well. This put me in a disadvantage.

"LISTEN MEN!" Buggy shouted. "IF YOU DON'T SUCCEED IN KILLING THAT BASTARD WHO INSULTED MY NOSE, I WILL PERSONALLY PUNISH EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WITH MY POWER! UNDERSTOOD?"

Well that got them moving, but unfortunately all at once. They all leaped with scared looks on their faces and all I did was hold up my arms in defense. But as they swung their swords down on me, I heard a sound that was… well it didn't sound right.

-clank-

The swords stopped, some of them even broke off. I heard the sound of shattering metal skit onto the ground. I looked up and my jaw dropped, once again.

My arm was holding up all their swords, but my arm wasn't quite right. They retracted their blades and I pulled in what used to be my arm. I looked at my arm, or what should be my arm. Instead of skin I saw a huge, golden bazooka that seemed to be formed onto my arm.

_AAAAAHHHHHH! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!_ My conscious said in terror.

_Either say something encouraging, or shut the fuck up!_ I told it.

Ok, my arm is a bazooka now, so…YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!

"His arm! He did eat a devil fruit!"

"How did you do that?" Nami questioned in awe.

"I have no fucking clue," I said, still holding my arm/barrel.

"COOL!" Luffy's eyes were gleaming with those star eyes he has when he sees something remotely cool.

I tried to move my fingers on my arm, nothing responded. I kept trying to move anything, but my arm began to glow, my arm changed back into a glowing silhouette of an arm, and returned to normal. WHAT AM I IN ONE PIECE OR SOUL EATER?

"Steady men, don't be scared. You still overpower him! Rush him again!" Buggy commanded. Great, just when I was about to get an edge in the fight, it just went and disappeared on me.

Once again the pirates took a leap at me as I counted my last moments and went into a pose that would make me look the slight bit cool. Great, the series hasn't even got going yet, and I die and Buggy's hands. Luckily my story doesn't end here.

"Just how many of you are going to charge one man." A deep, calm voice said in front of me.

"ZORO!" Luffy called out from his cage.

_About dang time,_ my conscious said.

_OH SHUT UP YOUR STUPID FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION!_

I looked up and saw Zoro deflecting all of their swords with just two of his katana, and they were still in their sheaths! His short green hair was all messed up, and it looked like he was forced to do a track event he didn't plan on doing (believe me, I know.)

"Hey kid," he looked at me, "I appreciate you defending my dumbass of a captain for this long, but I think you might need some help. Am I correct?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm still trying to recover from falling out of the sky into the ocean right now, so any extra help would be much appreciated," I tried to say with a normal tone. The other guys backed of in an instant talking about how Zoro was the pirate hunter & killed people etc.

"This is your idea of fun huh? Getting carried away by a bird and then I find you locked up in a cage?" He called out to his captain.

"That's the just of it…" I said before almost tipping over. My stomach was growling, and my body was sweating like crazy just like it does every time I start to feel hypoglycemic.

"Whoa kid, you alright?" Zoro said with concern.

"Need…food…hypoglycemia…" I was feeling weaker by the second. I always eat a huge meal before going to do something physical, whether it is fighting or training. Whatever that blue haired guy gave me was not nearly enough for me to continue fighting like this. Zoro looked confused, but apparently Nami knew at least what I needed (hello, I just said it). She dashed to the closest table and threw me a stick of mutton.

"Here use this! Now kick their asses!" She yelled.

I caught it in my hand, ate the whole thing in less than 10 seconds, all the while the Buggy pirates looking around dazed and confused. I got to my feet, with protein in my stomach, and gave them a crooked smile.

"Your ass is grass, clown."

Buggy had made his was over hear and said in a smug tone, "So, pirate hunter Zoro, have you come to claim my head?"

"Ha ha, what a homo."

Buggy turned around and came at me with his daggers drawn, but Zoro quickly drew his katana and sliced Buggy into several pieces. Uh oh.

"He went down so easily." Zoro exclaimed. The whole crew began to snicker. I saw the hand float up from the ground with the dagger in his fist, and it darted for Zoro's arteries. Not if I could help it!

"MOVE!" I shouted as I pushed Zoro out of the way and caught Buggy's hand mid-stab. Instead of me grabbing it from the wrist, it stabbed through my hand completely.

"AHHH! SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed and ripped the knife from my hand.

"Whoa, what the…" Zoro was startled. Nami gasped as she saw my blood flow out of my hand.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Luffy screamed as he gnawed on the bars of his cage. I heard Buggy's sick laughter as his body parts reassembled in front of us.

"Ha, a foolish attempt boy! Only delaying the inevitable. I ate the Chop Chop Fruit which has made me a section man. No matter how many times you slice me, I will remain unharmed! HA HA HA!"


	4. Chapter 4

Defeat of the Clown

Realizing a Great Opportunity

All of his crew began to laugh in triumph as I keeled down in order to keep the pressure on my hand. It hurt like hell! My hand felt like it was on fire!

"Kid, are you alright? You took a blow for me. Why?"

"Because…" I stood up and faced the crowd to pirates.

"Because attacking a man with his back turned is a dick move! I won't forgive someone who attacks a man with such a desperate and lowly tactic!"

The pirates just laughed and shouted jeers at my code of fighting.

_Remember what you need to do. You know how to get out of this mess, just do what they did in the anime._

_Huh? Is that you God?_

_GOD DANG IT IT'S ME! YOU IDIOT! Remember what happened in the anime!_

Okay… I really need to get this checked to a physiatrist...Then it hit me. I knew how to deal with this situation.

"Hey Zoro, I got an idea." I looked at the cannon and then looked at the pirates (who were conveniently all gathered in a close area.) He seemed to catch my idea and grinned.

"Oh, I gotcha. Hey, red head girl, throw us those matches."

"HEY! I have a name! And don't boss me around like that! _Moss _head!" She yelled in annoyance.

"Oh no you don't girlie!" One of the henchmen yelled as he took a dash at Nami.

"Oh no _you _don't, asshole!" I yelled as I gave him a dropkick to the face. The other men were giving their captain some space, probably because he looked so pissed off. I grabbed the matches and darted back to the cannon.

"Na…I mean girl! You might want to get far away from that place NOW!" I called out. She seemed to take the hint and ran over to Luffy's cage as Zoro and I lifted the cannon over. It landed with a bang and was aimed straight at Buggy's crew.

"AH! That thing still has a Buggy Cannonball in it!"

I lit the match, "NOT ANYMORE, BIG NOSE!" I lit the fuse and…

-KABOOM-

The whole building exploded in a pile of debris. I knew that Buggy and a few survived, but now wasn't the time to dwell on that. I still hand my bloody hand pressed against the side of my arm. Blood was trickling down my shirt. It was a crappy shirt, but still it hurt like hell. In all my fights I never got this seriously injured; a bruise here and there, maybe a fractured bone and a cut, but a knife through the hand? I had to get medical attention, quick!

"This is a good time to go." Zoro said. "Hey kid, you're bleeding all over the place."

"Yeah, as if I didn't know that!" I was regretting saving him more and more. He would have been okay if I let him get cut, so why did I even attempt to stop that hand. _Oh yeah, because Nami is here and I want to be a cool showoff, duh_. I started of feel light headed from the blood loss. I had several bruises on my legs and chest. I had several small cuts on my arms and I also scraped my knee when I landed on that second drop kick. I was officially out of adrenaline and my nerves were screaming with pain.

"This is a good time to go. Who are you guys anyway?" Zoro questioned.

"I'm a thief…" Nami began before Luffy announced, "She's our navigator!"

"You're an idiot you know that?" She yelled in anger.

"And you…" Zoro started to say but I started to go unconscious before he could finish. I fell to the ground and lost all recognition of my surroundings. All I could feel was myself being lifted up and carried away before I went out completely.

* * *

I was having one of my 'dreams.' It was in the auditorium of Jillian High School. I was sweeping the stage, as was the job of the stage manager of the choir pop group. I did try out both times that they were casing performers, but apparently you needed you sing and dance at your tryout and I only sang. So they chose a bunch of stupid freshmen and all the stupid sophomores both times. I was able to be the stage manager, but that wasn't any better. I didn't sing or dance, just stay behind the stage and listen to all the stupid chatter of all the dumbest chicks and fucking retarded guys. Plus all the unnecessary physical work without any of the thank you. But I digress…

I was almost done with the sweeping when Leo Harrison walked in. He was the _only_ guy I kind of liked in choir because we had known each other in middle school. He was a depressed kid back then. I helped the guy out by talking him out of his misery, got him a girlfriend (don't ask, long story), and he somehow became the best singer ever. He's like one of the douchbag kids who cared more about their hair than actual work, and somehow always became the best singer in the show. As his singing career was propelled forward, I was just the lowly staff member who lifted heavy objects and never got a song. Sorry, getting off-topic again…

He walked on stage and said, "Hey man, might if I sit here waiting for my mom?"

"Yeah, but don't mess up the stage. Took me half an hour to tidy up."

"Oh, aren't you parents going to pick you up?"

"I have my own car, with my own license."

"Oh…right… sorry." Leo was being his same typical timid way, at least when he is alone with one person. When he's in a crowd he becomes 'Douchicus Bagius.'

"It's okay Leo, I'm not being hateful. Just tired I suppose."

"Oh… are you staying up late doing your homework?"

"Hey! I do my best work at night!"

"Oh…sorry. Didn't mean to be rude." He said like a scared little girl. In fact, some people thought he was a girl by his speaking voice and the way he fuses with his long hair.

"What happened to us man? We used to be god friends and now when I talk with you, you act like I'm beating on you? What's the matter?"

"It's just…you don't look like you used to. Sure you had muscles, but now, your 6'0 with messed up hair and bruises & scares all on your arms and face. You're intimidating to anyone. And, you don't act like the cool guy you used to back in middle school. You're kind of a jerk."

"Why your calling _me_ a jerk?"

"I'm just saying you need to lighten up man. If you lighten up maybe one of the girls might ask you out."

"Lighten up? You mean like act like all those stupid bitches you call friends that can't think outside of a 2nd dimension? What have they done for you? I was the one who picked you up from the back of the lunchroom and pulled you out of your stupid pity party! And you're the one who has all the popularity and all the talent, not like I want to be friends with a bunch of dumbfucks. Also, let you forget, I helped you get a fucking girlfriend! And I am a way better singer than you if I was given a GODDAMN CHANCE!"

Leo looked startled by my outburst. He stood up, brushed his skinny jeans and said, "Look man, I know you're jealous that I am the lead singer in the pop group, but at least you can be in the back to cheer me on with all the other girls and guys."

_He deserves it._

I walked up to him and hit him, hard, in the gut. He doubled over and started rolling on the ground. I picked up the broom and threw it at him.

"Tell Mrs. Sanders that I quit the stage manager position. Tell those stupid girls they can go and suck a dick. Tell those douchbag guys they can get fucked up the ass. And finally, MY NAME IS SCREAVER, NOT _MAN_!" And I walked off.

I saw him only in choir class, and he kept his distance from then on.

So I was a little violent with him, so what? This wasn't the first time he said something like that either, and I had other stuff to do that choir was taking time away form, like working at my job and making money. –Sigh- God I have issues.

* * *

I woke up in a building, from what I could tell. I was in some bed and had a different shirt on. It was a plain brown shirt. My hoodie & t-shirt had been ripped so I guess they had to go, but who took them off? My body was achy, and my hand was wrapped up like a mummy. I looked at my lump of bandages that was my hand.

_You know it's going to get worse, _my conscious warned.

_Great, an infection_.

_Not that. I meant the fighting. If you truly plan on going any further with these people the enemies will get stronger, the battles more intense, and the wounds will be greater. You could end up dead. Are you sure you want to go on like this?_

_I will follow these guys to the ends of the…planet and back again._

I have to do it. I realized something major when I stopped that dagger. Zoro escaped the fight unharmed. If I could change that, I could change other plot points as well. I could stop the rebellion in Arabasta, the events at Water 7, the separation of the strawhats! I had to do it. I'm the only one who knows what will happen, when it will happen, and how to stop it. There maybe risks, but what else am I going to do? Stay in this one saga town? Ya right!

I will change the world of One Piece for the better. Why? Because I am a passionate otaku. Do I need a better reason?


	5. Chapter 5

It's a Furry!

My Name Is Screaver Bartel!

I walked outside and saw Luffy's cage set in front of that white dog. I think its name was…Shushu. Zoro was taking a snooze outside the building I was in, and Nami & some old guy in armor were talking near the pet shop.

Nami saw me walk out of the building and a relieved/angry expression appeared on her face. She walked over to me and hit me on the head yelling, "What's the matter with you, idiot? Charging head first into a crew of bloodthirsty pirates unarmed? I'm surprised you weren't killed!"

_Oh she's a keeper_, my conscious chimed in.

_Yes she is, now shut up._

"Is that the response of the man who just saved your life?" I replied dryly.

Nami shrugged and said, "I didn't ask for your help you know. You just worry about those wounds of yours."

Good point. All my other wounds had been bandaged as well, but they were mostly on my arms. I was still wondering how I made my arm do that, turn into a bazooka I mean.

What made it even stranger was the bazooka looked like how I thought it would; golden metal, studded rims, the shape of it all, everything. Did I eat a devil fruit on my way here? I knew that when I fell into the water I didn't swim. Well, that was probably from the shock of instantly being dropped from hundreds of feet in the air!

"HEY! It's that guy with the COOL arm! Hi cool-arm guy!" Luffy shouted at me.

What, me, cool?

I've never been called cool before. Jerk, asshole, bane of my existence, _puto_, but never cool.

It felt nice to be called that by someone, but seeing it called from Luffy felt like if I did a back flip he would just call me 'cool back flip guy.'

Basically, he was easily impressed.

"Yeah by the way, did you eat a devil fruit? How did your arm do that?" Nami asked.

"Uh, it's a private matter."

"Well…never mind." Nami shrugged and walked over to the dog and pat his head.

"Hey old man, what's with that dog?" I half-heartedly asked.

He then went on how that dog's master died and left him in charge of the pet shop, I knew the story anyway.

The story did touch me a bit about the dog's faith in his master and continuous protection over his home. It made me feel sorry for what was gonna happen.

Wait, maybe it didn't have to happen…

"RRROOOOOOAAARRRR!"

Uh oh.

"What's that roaring noise?" Nami said panicking.

"Oh great, it's _that_ douchbag…" I moaned.

"IT'S THE BEAST TRAINER, MOHJI!" The mayor screamed.

"It's a furry!" I said in a Brooklyn accent.

I saw him ridding up on his giant lion in the distance.

Damn, he might be a coward, but that lion was fucking scary!

The scene of him with his dorky fur ears and fat lips seemed to contrast him sitting on the fucking HUGE white lion in front of me.

"Out of my way, boy." He said gloatingly.

"Bitch I'm about ta knock you the fuck…"

-BAM-

Before I had a chance to do anything, the lion swiped his paw my way, knocking me into a building.

* * *

I must have faded out of a while because when I came to, the pet shop was in flames, the cage was shredded into pieces, and the little dog was crying at the destruction of his memorial too his beloved master. The dog was all bruised and bloody from the battle, but all his effort was in vain.

_Some hero you are…_

_I swear to God I will scrape the part of my brain out that has you and throw it into the ocean!_

-silence-

Damn, I messed up! I thought I could save that place…How could I save it? I'm just an over-average delinquent with no true goals in life who can't achieve anything. I fell to the ground and pounded it with my good fist. I looked at my fist and it began to glow. I was startled and it went back to normal.

I knew what to do. I know Luffy was supposed to kick that lion's ass, but I didn't care. This is my fight now you stupid lion riding asshole.

Ok, just so you know, I am a dog lover. I own a poodle and named him Bart (yeah, Bart) and the instant someone tries to mess with my little buddy I will kick his ass! In fact a long time ago I was walking my dog and some douchbag form school yelled out, "HEY SCREAVER, I'M GONNA RAPE YA DAWG!"

I immediately ran after the little piss-stain and pummeled him into the ground. NO ONE MESSES WITH MY DOG! And I surely wasn't gonna let that stupid Mohji get away from making Shushu cry!

I don't even care if dogs CAN cry!

I walked up to the dog and patted him on the head. He stopped howling and looked up at me, with his sad puppy dog face.

"Listen Shushu," I said in my calmest voice, "You fought hard against that lion, but your strengths weren't on the same level. I'm sorry that I couldn't stop that guy from wrecking your treasure, but I can and WILL get payback for what he did. Is it ok for me to fight him in your place?"

The dog barked in agreement and licked my bandaged hand. I gave him another pat on the head and followed the lion's path. It wasn't hard to follow the path where he broke the street.

_ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU ARE GOING TO FIGHT A FREAKING LION IN THE SHAPE YOUR IN?_

_Yep. And don't try to talk me out of it. I'm sick of listening to you bitch all the time._

_Ohhhhhhh…boy._

Yes, I was acting reckless. But he made a dog cry. That was a good enough reason for me.

I found Luffy running down the path, about to confront the beast trainer, but I yelled to him, "HEY LUFFY! LET ME FIGHT HIM!"

He turned around and saw me. He has a serious look on his face. "Why? Is it for revenge because he hit you?"

"It'd because that dog is counting on me to avenge his master! I will never break a promise to my friends."

"Ok!" He smiled and stepped to the side. I rushed past him in order to find the beast.

I found the monster roaming the far side of the town. I rushed toward the monster, but it seemed to have caught my scent and immediately turned around and looked at me. It was chewing on one of the boxes of dog chow the store had in stock.

"I thought I got rid of you, boy." Mohji called out to me.

"I'm a lot harder to kill than others." I said in response.

"It makes no matter to me; you will die just the same." He said uninterested.

The lion however had its full gaze on me. I could almost hear it thinking _mmmm dinner_. It rushed towards me, but I side stepped out of the way. I stood my ground on the beast, but it wouldn't do me much good if I didn't have the strength to beat it. I remembered what to do.

I ripped the bandages off my wounded hand. They blew off into the wind all bloody and gross. I didn't dare look at my hand because the pain it was giving off was enough proof that it wasn't in good shape. I closed my eyes and concentrated. _Come on, I know how to do this_.

"Enough of this crap! Finnish him off!" Mohji commanded his beast. The lion bared its fangs, scraped it's claws, and got ready to pounce. I needed it to work. It _had _to work.

Sure enough, thank God, my arm began to glow. _Yes! A little more now. _It began to turn a golden glow and change form. It grew longer and wider, until my arm had become the front of a bazooka with studs, chambers, and extended from my hand to my elbow. It still allowed me to bend my arm, it stopped at the joint.

"So, you are a devil fruit eater? A gun-morphing power I expect boy? It won't matter. I will destroy you just like I obliterated that stupid pet shop!" I could have sworn I heard the lion laugh a little bit, which didn't improve my mood.

"Now listen you pansy-ass, loser, son of a bitch!" I began.

"There are three reasons that I personally am personally going to kick your ass so hard that you will be shitting out of your mouth!" Mohji tried to say something, but I didn't let him.

"First, you invade this whole town, take what ever the fuck you want, and blow there houses up and stuff up for what? Because a few kids said Buggy had a red nose? Hello, overreacting much? If he has a problem with the way his damn nose looks, take a knife and slice the damn thing off. It looks like a big red tumor!"

Mohji was starting to sweat; because the more I complained the more murderous I began to look.

"Second, you blew up the only thing that dog had to remember his master by. What the hell? Hasn't that dog suffered enough? But no, you wanted to blow it up because there is an animal in the world with a fucking brain and won't take your shit! That is reason enough that I should kick your ass in itself!" I walked up to the beast, with the master in tact, and held up my bazooka arm near its maw.

"And uh, what's the third rea…"

"Bazooka Punch!"

I darted forward with incredible speed and rammed my fist into the lion's chest. The barrel rammed into the chest of the lion and it was flung into the side of the house. The lion tamer fell off his creature with his wide eyes.

I walked up to the dumbass lion tamer, grabbed him by the collar, looked him straight in the eye and said, "My name is SCREAVER BARTEL! Not BOY!"


	6. Chapter 6

Slaying the Lion

No One Hurts Nami! And...Sorry About That

I stood over the cowardly lion trainer with my hand around his throat. I aimed the barrel at his head, really to fire it for the first time.

"WAIT! WAIT! PLEASE HAVE MERCY! I'M SORRY!" He cried like a little bitch. Tears and snot ran down his face and was making me sick. I hoisted him up and tossed him like a sack of flour. He collided with a building and passed out. I released my arm and it returned to normal. I looked at my arm and saw my wound looked a lot better. I could still see a long scar against my hand, but the wound had closed up and looked, for the most part it was ok.

I walked over to the stupid lion and ripped the box of kibbles from his mouth. I walked back to where the pet shop had once stood proud. Shushu was still watching it and whimpering. I sat next to the little guy, gave him the box, and patted him on the head. He licked my hand and laid next to me.

"This is all that's left Shushu," I said quietly. He didn't respond. He was already fast asleep.

I picked him up and put him on the porch of the mayor's house, along with his box of food.

It wasn't until after I left the house that all my adrenaline wore out, my exhaustion came back to me all at once, and I collapsed to the ground.

I was loosing feeling in my body, and my arm was completely numb_. _I struggled back to my feet.

All I could manage was to get to my knees.

I looked up and saw Zoro standing tall with a serious look on his face.

_Yeah, I like dogs. So what?_

"Need some help, Screaver?" He said.

I nodded and replied, "Thanks for using my name this time."

He pulled me up to my feet. I looked behind him and saw…ahhh…Nami hiding behind him with a scared look on her face.

Wow, so un-Nami like.

Luffy was still in his cage with a wide grin on his face, looking straight at me.

"THAT WAS SO COOOOL!" He yelled.

"So Screaver," Zoro began, "did you eat a devil fruit?"

That was the million dollar question wasn't it? I didn't know.

_Say yes. _My conscious suggested.

_Huh, why?_

_It would be better it people believed that you have weaknesses that you don't really have, and you might actually have them, who knows. I would say yes._

_I don't even know what you are anymore, _I shrugged.

"Umm…it's a private matter?"

"Oh." Zoro said unimpressed.

"GUM GUM…" A loud voice came from behind me.

_OH SHIT!_

"ROCKET!"

Zoro was able to duck in time, but I wasn't.

-BAM-

Luffy collided with me and a knocked me into Nami. He continued to fly over us and hit a wall, good. The next thing I knew I was...well...I was;

1. On the ground with Nami.

2. On the ground on _top_ of Nami.

3. On the ground on top of Nami with my hand placed, curiously, over her breast.

4. On the ground on top of Nami with my hand placed on her breast with our faces just an inch away from each other.

This position was held for 10 awkward seconds. Here face up close was so...pretty. She was all red, and looked shocked more than disturbed.

I didn't DARE squeeze my hand, but I could still feel the soft and warm breast in my hand. I had really hoped that something _good_ would happen at this point.

What happened soon afterward however was her expression went from shocked to angry, then to REALLY angry, and she hit me hard on my head.

-WHAM-

I backed off of her and rubbed the huge welt that was forming on my head.

"PERVERT! THAT WILL COST YOU 20000 BERRI!" She screamed in anger.

"I'm sorry! It was Luffy's fault! He rammed into me!"

"Help me up already, Ero-boy! It will still cost you 20000!"

It really hurt for her to call me that, but I got to my feet and pulled her up. She brushed her behind off and glared at me. I looked at Luffy running towards me, and MY angry glare fell upon him.

"Hehehehehe! Sorry, I didn't think I would fly that far!"

-BAM-

I Hit him, hard, in the face and sent him flying back into the wall.

"QUIT FUCKING UP WHAT I GOT GOING ON, JACKASS!"

Zoro and Nami stared at me strangely; hell I would have to if someone had just said that in front of me too.

"Uhhh… Sorry. Anger management problems and what not? Hehe." I said weakly.

_Boy I REALLY needed something to break the awkwardness right now._

"HAHAHAHAHA!" A loud voice cried.

_Oh good, an awkwardness-breaker._

Unfortunately it was in the form of Buggy the Retarded Clown. _Oh boy._

"Alas, I make my FLASHY entrance!" He proclaimed. He looked perfectly fine from the explosion. And right behind him, I saw Cabaji, lurking in the corner.

"It's that stupid big nose." Luffy pouted.

"That is an understatement." I said.

"WHAT? HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY NOSE! CABAJI, KILL THEM!" Buggy announced.

He moved forward and drew his sword.

"I heard that you, Pirate Hunter Zoro, are the best swordsman in the East Blue at the moment." He sneered.

"I'm only at that status because of people like you who challenge me and end up dead." Zoro replied. I could see a gleam in his eye. He was itching to fight this guy.

"Ok, I believe I will be able to finish you in 5 seconds. Care to prove me wrong?" Cabaji mounted his unicycle and charged.

1 second… Zoro dashed forward.

2 seconds… The two clashed their swords.

3 seconds… Cabaji gave a kick to Zoro but he jumped back.

4 seconds… Zoro dashed forward and sliced Cabaji across the chest.

5 seconds… He fell of the unicycle in a puddle of his own blood.

End of battle…

I was just reminded of how strong Zoro really was. I know, he's a badass in the anime, but seeing it up close and personal makes your stain your underwear. But it was normal for him. He just sheathed his sword, sat against a building, and fell asleep.

"You're up, Captain." He mumbled.

"Right!" Luffy exclaimed. He jumped up and charged at Buggy. Wow. Without that would in his gut, this battle went a lot faster than it would have normally.

"GUM GUM PISTOL!" He called. His rubber fist stretched back and shot forward right into Buggy's face. He flew backward and slammed into a building. Luffy cheered at his good luck.

Unfortunately Nami didn't have any since the lion from earlier was up and was one step away from eating her.

"DAMN CAT!" I cursed and ran towards the beast, again.

"AHH!" Nami yelped and fell over. My left hand wasn't in good condition, but my right hand was. I did the same thing that I did with my other hand and it morphed, just as well. I charged at the lion, but it was prepared and swatted me away. Then it clawed Nami in the leg. She screamed in pain.

"Leave Nami ALONE!" I yelled.

I wasn't gonna let that thing live anymore, and if there was a negative repercussion, so be it. I darted forward and knocked it so it was hunched forward. I leaped from its back and propelled myself into the air.

_This has to work!_

I focused my energy into the cannon. I didn't know how, but it was a gut instinct. The inside of the barrel grew brighter and brighter. I imagined I was aiming a finger gun at my target.

"Take this ya filthy animal!"

-KABOOM-

"RICHIE!" Mohji screamed in terror. I feel to the ground and saw my work. Its head was a smoldering lump. It looked like it's body was smashed right into the ground. Everyone looked at me, some shocked some appalled, I didn't care.

That was all the energy I had left. I collapsed right on the spot and faded into unconsciousness. I could only here a few selected words form Luffy.

"Hey...you...cool...want...join...crew!" was all I heard.

Nami also said something as well, probably "Stupid Ero-boy" or something.

_I seem to faint a lot during the best parts of the fights don't I?_


	7. Chapter 7

Confrontation of the Past

I'm Heading out to Sea...Finally

Once again I was dreaming as all the others were kicking ass. This joke was getting real old.

And once again I was having a visit from my past.

I was walking up to the biggest pain in my ass, I mean Heraldo's, house. Heraldo is an Italian/Mexican mix rich dude with crooked teeth and bleached hair. If your wondering what the rest of him looked like, hell I don't know. He always wore his big, expensive jackets and baggy cargo pants. The rest of his face was covered with huge mirror shades.

He was also a serious womanizer. He would hit on anything with...and I quote, "_a pair of huge tits and a nice ass."_ (his words not mine). He was also a spoiled rich kid, which was probably why those women went out with him in the first place.

I met him because he one day because he was trying to hit on my sister who's like in college. And I happened to let him know how I felt about it loud and clear. After he recovered from the hospital, he came back to me saying he needed 'protection.'

I just guessed it was from all the boyfriends who would come after him for stealing their girlfriends.

He said he would pay me_ handsomely_ and would 'hook me up' with one of his…whores.

We didn't live in the best part of town mind you.

I replied with a punch to the face.

For a month or two he would show up to me, offer his proposal, and I would either say "no," or "piss off," or –insert punching noise here- The bastard was hornier than Quagmire.

I was going up to the guy's house because I had heard that my sister had become his new girlfriend. I was going to tell him how I felt about it.

Now about my sister. Her name is Katherine Bartel. She has long brown hair, brown eyes, is medium height, and is an over obsessed otaku. She watches, reads, draws, and breaths anime and manga to which a point it's kind of scary. It's thanks to her that I like anime as well. And if you dare ask me if my sister is hot or not, I have one thing to say…

YOU NEVER EVER AS A GUY IF HIS SISTER IS HOT! THAT IS SICK AND WEIRD!

But I know she's not bad looking, just the fact that Heraldo was attracted to her made me sick.

Heraldo lived in a huge house all alone. Wait...He _has_ parents, but they only are in the building to sleep and such.

I knocked on the door. No one answered.

I knocked again. No answer.

I broke the window next to the door and unlocked the door from the inside out. The door opened.

What? I have a messed up childhood…

"You have a visitor, Heraldo!" I called. I had been there several times because he invited me over in order to 'persuade' me. I checked the kitchen, living room, and all the other rooms. No one. Then I herd music coming from the second floor. I walked up the steps and herd the music blaring from a door.

_If that's the bedroom, it might get awkward. _My conscious snidely remarked.

_Shut the fuck up, _I told it.

I opened the door and saw the most disgusting thing I ever saw; my sister making out with Heraldo. Her clothes were torn and his lips were all over her face! They both froze as they saw me walk in. Heraldo pushed her to the ground. She was screaming quietly, and tears were rolling down her face.

"Screaver…I…I…" Katherine began to say. I threw my jacket over her.

"Save it for when I get back home. Now go." I said with my dead serious tone. She darted out of the room and I stepped over to the little asshole.

"Ey man…uh…this probable looks bad now man, but is ok cuz…"

–BAM-

"OK? HOW THE FUCK IS THIS OK? I don't want my sister to get raped by a stupid asshole like you!" I yelled.

"Ow… Ok ok I getcha. Like I wus sayin es ok cuz we both like each other cuz we both love each other." He replied weakly.

"That's not how I saw it!"

"Hey man is none of your business. She can do what ever she wants man. Like suckin my..."

–BAM- to the face.

"Look you fuckin sorry excuse for a human being. Listen to me, and listen well. You can do anything you fucking want. I wouldn't care if you cheat on every women in the city, burn down a house, hell I wouldn't care if you blew up a fucking city! I don't care! But the instant that me or anyone I care about gets involved with your shit is when you start to loose those ugly teeth! NOW STAY AWAY FROM ME AND MY FAMILY!"

-BAM- -SMACK- -THUD-

He was sent to the hospital and I was sent to juve for a few weeks. He finally moved away after he was released and my sister never stopped apologizing to me but I kept saying, "I don't blame you Katherine." This happened in my freshmen year mind you.

...What? Told you I had a messed up childhood.

* * *

I awoke seeing Luffy's face up close in mine to which it looked like he was going to kiss me! I quickly kicked him away and sent him flying a few feet. I stood right up, preparing for a fight, but the battle was already over. _Damn I missed it_.

"So, your finally awake, Ero-boy." A voice said in annoyance. I turned and saw Nami standing behind me with her arms crossed. She had a bandage over her leg.

"That name hurts you know…" I said.

"Like I care. You still owe me 25000 berris." She said holding her hand out.

"What? You said it was 20000! And it was an accident!" I yelled.

"It doesn't matter. It still happened and you owe me every berri!" Her tone was weird. It was trembling and scared, but it was trying to be forceful and harsh.

"Wait, didn't I save you from being eaten by a lion? I don't even get a discount for that?"

She looked down, her face all red, and said, "Fine. A DISCOUNT. You now owe me 10000 berri."

I was about to go up to her and shake a bigger discount out of her, but then I realized; it's Nami. I sighed and nodded weakly. I didn't feel like arguing. I needed food, and water, and some medical attention. God, when is Chopper gonna get here?

"HEY, YOU'RE AWAKE!" Luffy cheered. He got up, walked over to me, and patted me on the back. Hard.

"Hey Screaver, you wanna join my crew?" He asked with his goofy smile on.

"Huh? How did you know my name? And why do you want me in your crew?"

Luffy just laughed for a bit. "You said your name was Screaver right? And I want you to join my crew because you've saved both my crewmembers from harm. That means you're a good person. So, you wanna join my crew?"

_Think carefully, _my conscious warned.

_You know what I'm gonna say,_ I replied.

"You better agree." Zoro called. "He won't take no for an answer."

"Absolutely." I said, forcing a smile on my face. "You Nami?"

Nami put on her angry face and complained, "Hey! Don't drag me into this! I…"

"Hate pirates?" I finished.

"Uh, yeah! And why should I be with a crazy rubber-freak, a dense swordsman, and a pervert with a gun for a arm?" She asked.

"How else will you collect your debt from me?"

She frowned and mumbled something in frustration. "Fine, but I'm not a part of your crew. I'm with you only temporarily. And you better pay me!"

"Once I find the money, it's all yours." I sighed. I looked over and saw Shushu sitting on the porch with the box of food in front of him. I wobbled over to him and sat right next to him. He picked up the box and put it in front of me. He whimpered at me, like he wanted me to take it. I smiled at him, lifted the box up, and placed it back in front of him.

"This is the last piece of your master's memory. It would be criminal if I took it away from you. You need to guard this box the same as if it was that shop, in your master's memory, alright?"

He barked happily and took his box back. I patted him on the head and he walked back to the remains of the building. I chuckled a bit, which hurt my side badly. I need freakin medical attention!

"I didn't know you were an animal person." Nami commented.

"I…owned a dog before. I guess I'm just a dog-person. Besides, I hate cats, as you can tell." Nami got a slight chuckle at that. Zoro walked over to me and helped me up. He supported me as we started walking toward the docks, I think.

"I will accept your help. But if you carry me I blow you to kingdo…I mean the Grand Line." I retorted.

"Yeah yeah you dumb brat…I mean Screaver." He replied. As we headed towards the docks, we passed by that old guy in leather armor knocked unconscious. Oh yeah, forgot about him for a while. And it just so happened that all the villagers from the town were crowding around him.

"Hey! Who did this to our mayor?"

"Look, that kid from before…he looks injured."

"MAYOR! Are you ok?"

"Did you do this?"

Luffy stood forward and simply stated, "Yeah, it was me."

"LUFFY! Don't tell them!" Nami complained.

"Well it's true." He replied.

"Yeah, I don't think telling the whole town you beat their mayor into a coma is the smartest thing to do, idiot." I remarked.

"Oh you did it? Who are you? Are you pirates?" The man with blue hair asked.

"Yep." Luffy said.

"LUFFY!" Nami cried out.

"Are you with them, boy?" The man asked. I let go of Zoro for a second, walked up to the man, and kneed him in the gut.

"FOR THE LAST FUCKIN TIME! MY NAME ISN'T BOY! IT'S SCREAVER BARTEL!" I yelled. Yeah, that was unnecessary, so what? I'm tiered, cold, and worn out. I wasn't in the mood to be called boy.

"RUN!" I yelled as I darted back to the docks. The other villagers began to chase us as the four of us ran down an alley way. Nami was holding her two sacks of treasure (when did those get there?) Shushu was standing in the middle of the alley as we hurtled over him.

"Shushu?" Nami questioned.

"Doggy?" Luffy asked baffled.

"Thanks Shushu!" I called back to him. He would keep them back, hopefully. We rushed to the two ships that were in the port.

My energy was depleting and I needed food. We were just about to jump onto the ship when Buggy's final cronies jumped out with their swords drawn. Of course, once they saw Zoro charging out at them they quickly jump of the boat, into the water, and swam away like little bitches.

"What good luck." I commented.

"It wasn't luck that kicked their asses." Zoro remarked proudly. Nami loaded her stuff onto the first boat and we took off. I noticed that Luffy left one back behind on the dock for the town to help rebuild their buildings, but I managed to stay quiet.

As we sailed away, the mayor from the ran to the dock and yelled, "HEY! THANK YOU FOR SAVING OUR HOME!"

Luffy turned back and smiled. "YOU'RE WELCOME!" He called back. It was at this time that Nami noticed that one of her bags was missing. She began complaining and beating Luffy over the head.

"HEY! That bag was worth a lot of berri!" She complained as she tried to drown Luffy.

"Hey! I can't swim! And they need the money to rebuild their town." He replied.

"Don't do it again or I will throw you overboard!" She yelled and released his hair. Zoro sat down and took a nap. And for the first time since I got here, I walked up to a empty spot on the ship, sat my self down, and willfully went to sleep.

That was my first adventure in the world of One Piece.


	8. Chapter 8

Is This a Dream?

My Conscious Explains Everything…Kinda

I was expecting to get a revisit of my past once I fell asleep, but something different happened. Everything was black, and all I could feel was a warm sensation. I suddenly felt the sensation that I was lying down. My face was rubbing up on something soft and warm. It even had a nice smell to it. I could then hear the sound of crashing waves, seagulls cawing, and wind in the distance. But all I could really here was the sound of a girl humming. It took me a while to notice the song, but whoever was humming the song was my favorite One Piece opening, the eighth one.

My eyes opened slowly and I found myself lying in a _human _lap.

Not just any lap, NAMI'S FREAKIN LAP!

I looked up and saw Nami looking down at me, smiling.

"_Good evening, Screaver._" She said in a cute, happy voice. My head shot up (the one on my shoulders) expecting to get smacked in the face again.

But after sitting straight up, moved my hand to cover my face, and prepared myself, she just kept looking at me with that dazzling smile.

"What are you doing, Screaver?" She questioned.

"Three things. One: Didn't you call me Ero-boy? Why are you calling me by my name now? Second: Don't I owe you a large debt for falling on you? Third: WHY WAS MY HEAD IN YOUR LAP?"

Nami just giggled and said, "Oh Screaver, quit messing around. It's a nice, quiet day. We should spend it in peace. Well, as peaceful as it can get."

This was when I noticed several things. First, Nami wasn't wearing her blouse and her tattoo of the pinwheel was showing. Second, we weren't on those little dinghies we commandeered. This boat was a lot nicer. Third, she was being all nice and friendly to me. She was even giving me a flirty look with blushing cheeks and shiny eyes.

I stood up and looked around, and noticed even more things different. We were, in fact, on the Sunny Go, not the Going Merry, or those mini boats. The large, lawn like deck and twin masts clearly gave it away. And everyone was on the boat. Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper were fishing on the side of the ship. We certainly haven't met those two yet. On the other side, Zoro and Sanji were busy, arguing. I at least expected it was Sanji due to his blond hair, I couldn't see his face. The pilot at the wheel gave me a friendly wave with his Popeye shaped arms. The last two were sitting on the mast seats. Robin was reading a book, but looked up at me, smiled, and waved at me. And lastly, a skeleton in dress attire was sitting on the far edge of the mast, drinking out of his skull tea-cup.

How long was I asleep? Did I time warp? If so, then why was Nami being all friendly with me?

I continued to wonder what the flying fuck was going on until Sanji walked up near our deck and called, "Nami-swaaan! Dinner is ready! And Screaver, if you do anything funny to her I will kick your head clean off!"

I just sat there, confused as hell, until Nami answered back, "we'll be there in a minute."

He seemed satisfied and danced/spun/wiggled away. Everyone else went in.

Luffy called out, "OOOOOOOY! SCREAVER! DON'T YOU WANNA EAT DINNER? SANJI'S COOKING ALL THE FISH WE CAUGHT TODAY!" He yelled in his annoying fashion, and ran inside.

_WTF is going on?_

"Come on, we don't want Luffy eating everything do we?" Nami said.

"Wait…" I grabbed Nami's hand as she stood up, "what's going on here? Why are you being…"

Before I could finish, Nami moved in close to my face, and gave me a long, passionate kiss. Her soft lips made my whole body feel numb, and I could feel her tongue rub on my teeth. My brain turned to mush, and I lost most of the feeling in my body.

_WTFZOMG!_

She moved her face from mine, and cooed, "We are boyfriend & girlfriend, aren't we?"

_**WTFZOMFG!**_

"Come on Screaver, let's go eat. Don't tell Sanji about that little kiss, alright?" And with that, she giggled once more, smiling brightly, walked down the steps, and into the door.

I was…shocked? Enthralled? Happy? Surprised? I couldn't tell. It was all a mix of emotions at once. My brain was still trying to accept the fact that FUCKING NAMI JUST MADE OUT WITH ME!

_Did you like that? _A voice called out in my head.

_Huh?_

_Just thought I would do something special for you, seeing how you never had a real dream before._

The scene melted away, leaving me alone in a dark space. Then it was lit up with a familiar blue glow. I was standing upright, or floating; I couldn't tell. Then all the light seemed to come together into a humanlike silhouette. It then died down, and revealed to be a man.

He looked like he was in his late 20's, and he was wearing a gray business suit. He was wearing tortoise shades on his eyes and a fedora hat on his head. He seemed like he was in a good mood, because he was smiling uncontrollably.

"So…We finally meet, face to face." He said.

The instant he said the first word, I recognized who he was. That voiced that echoed in my head when I didn't want it, always pissing me off.

"My conscious!" I shouted.

"Uh un…Michael. My name is Michael."

"Huh?" I grunted.

"Well, since you never asked me my name, and was all set on calling me you're conscious, I just adopted the role. Even though you still don't listen to me…"

"You are a voice that echoes in my fucking brain! What else was I supposed to do but to see a psychiatrist?" I asked my con…I mean Michael.

"Well I have tried to talk to you before, but you never listened to me."

"Wait a minute…You were that voice I heard in the beginning, speaking Latin in my head."

"Guilty." He snidely remarked. "Latin is my native tongue, and I adopted English fairly well don't you think?"

"WHO OR WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU? Are you a psychic? A demon? An alien? Is this even real?" I was filled with so many questions.

"Now now, hold on Screaver, allow me to explain…"

I folded my arms and replied, "I'm listening."

"Well…I can't tell you exactly who I am," He began, "I am only someone who has your best interest in mind. I and my…kind are usually designated to those people who are destined for greatness. Aristotle, Genghis Khan, George Washington, those people."

"So I'm destined for greatness?"

"Well…you were." He said with a worried look. "You see, everyone's fates are predetermined at first. But one's fate can be altered by the choices they make. It wouldn't matter if you were chosen to make a vaccine for cancer. Once you have taken enough wrong turns, fate will just…get rid of you."

"What?"

"Not like that. Usually when someone changes their fate, my kind will try to steer them back on their path. But you have made so many wrong turns, that fate would have just…let you fall off completely."

"So I'm a screw up?" I said coldly.

"Pretty much. I was supposed to try and keep you on the right path, but…let's just say that the moment you gave up anime was when your fate changed. You were right, without anime to calm you down you would become more reckless, get into a lot more fights and even die. And your fate was 'locked in' at that point so there was nothing much that I could do."

I walked up to the guy (or floated, I couldn't tell) and decked him in the face.

"THAT'S A LOAD OF BULLSHIT!"

He however didn't seem phased by my punch and just continued, "Your reaction is understandable, but it's the truth."

I removed my hand and said, "Well, then why are we in One Piece?"

"The thing is…I couldn't have let you die. I didn't want you to suffer like that. But once your fate was locked in, their was nothing else I could do, in _that_ world."

"What do you mean?"

"The only way to escape fate is to escape the world, so I use all my power to send us to a different world, _this_ world, where you could escape your fate. And you loved One Piece so...why not?"

"Are you like a genie or a magical ghost?" I said, scratching my head in confusion.

He chuckled and said, "Oh I wish. Then I might have been able to do something else than nag on you all the time."

I pondered on what he said and asked, "Did you also give me these powers?"

"Actually, I had no clue that would happen. It must have manifested from your memory into reality once we crossed worlds. You do have a very strong mind, even though you can't produce dreams. I was able to use some of my power to give you that dream, as sort of an official welcome gift."

"What?" Now I confused.

"This is the first time we have been formally introduced, correct? So, I decided to show you what dreams felt like, as a way of showing my gratitude towards you. I can do these little things, provided you don't get on my bad side."

"You mean after all the cursing and screaming at you, I'm not?"

He laughed out loud, "You almost did! HAHAHA!"

Still confused as hell, I asked, "So…what now?"

"Well, I used up most of my power when we crossed worlds, and it will take me a good 10 years to get enough of it back to go anywhere else. So, we live in the world of One Piece!"

And with that, he snapped his fingers, and the scene faded to black.


	9. Chapter 9

Full Moon Sways

Relax Time on the Ship

I awoke lying on the deck of one of the ships. I didn't know which one it was, didn't care. I was covered in a blanket. My clothes felt damp. I looked out and saw it was night time. I was wondering about what I saw in my first dream. Nami…was kissing me. Was it possible? Nah, I messed up by almost groping her and I owe her 10000 berris. How much is that in American? Probably a shit load of money.

I looked at my arm and it seemed fully healed, but I still felt a bit out of it. I had probably been asleep for…3 days? I peered inside of the window of the ship. It was dark and I could barely see anything. I lost interest.

I turned my head and set my arms in the edge of the ship, scoping up the waves as they flew by. I submerged my arm in the water. No change. So I haven't eaten a devil fruit. Well that was 1/100 questions answered. I looked up at the sky and saw a full moon. The sky had so many stars.

_Yeah, wait till they discover air pollution, hehe._

When I feel confused and upset, I feel like singing. I am…was in the choir and I am a fairly good singer. I decided to sing my favorite song from BECK. Full Moon Sways. That song was so addictive and never left my brain from the first time I heard it.

_What a fool!_

_You don't know about tomorrow…_

_What it's like to beeee…_

_Ahhhh…_

_I was sure!_

_I couldn't let myself to fall…_

_Even though I feeeell…_

_The end!_

Damn I love that song. I thought I sang did fairly well. I mean, I'm no Greg Aryes but, I'm not Greg Aryes!

And hey, who could hear me? The two logs named Luffy & Zoro who won't wake up for jack shit? I was fine.

"I never heard that song before." A voice said behind me. I whirled around and saw Nami in the doorway. She was wearing her striped blouse and skirt, like she never changed clothes since we boarded. Her hair looked all messed up, in a cute sort of way.

"Uhh…how long was I asleep?" I asked.

"Three days. We thought you had died, but you kept mumbling in your sleep so we just wrapped you up and left you on the deck." She retorted rather coldly.

"Oh is that so? How nice of you to give me a fucking blanket to counter the freezing cold of the outside." I said rather pissed off.

"Well there wasn't any room in the other boat and you won't be sleeping in my room."

"Whatever, I gave up fighting with you a long time ago. You're so impossible."

"HEY! Don't turn me into the enemy, Ero-boy."

I walked up to her, looked her straight in her eyes, and said, ".. I never meant to put you in an awkward position. Please, find it in your heart to forgive me, Nami."

She looked into my eyes, quickly turned away, and said, "Well…you still owe me money."

"Yeah yeah, 10000 berris right?"

"NO! It's 10000 be…I mean, yes 10000. Didn't expect you would remember."

"Well you should expect that of me from now on. Are you ok? Your leg I mean."

She looked down at her leg. The bandage was still there. I hated myself for letting that happen.

"It's fine. I would have been lion food had you not stopped it." She said thankfully.

"I'm sorry I was too slow." I replied.

-awkward silence-

"Who…no. _What _are you?" She asked finally.

_I could tell her the truth. I could say that she was created by a pudgy Asian man and has been exploited by almost every horny bastard who wanted to see her naked (myself included.)_

But that would be rude. So I did what came natural. Lie like a bitch.

"I am what you call a Demon Weapon. Not like the weapons you know. You see, long ago we were created by dark witches who combined the souls of humans with the souls of other witches. We have the ability to morph our bodies into a certain weapon and we…fight. That's all we were made for after all. My weapon form is that of a bazooka."

"Are there others?" She asked.

"There used to be. As many as there were weapons in the world. Some could change into scythes, swords, guns, even staffs. But we were hunted to almost extinction by those who feared us. I'm one of the only ones left."

"Seems like a hard life. I feel sorry for you."

"Don't. I don't need pity from anyone. Just don't think on it to much and move on." Honestly, I think I fabricated a fabulously made-up story on my part.

"Hey, um…what was that song called?"

"Full Moon Sway. A song from…my island." I lied.

She looked back and said, quietly, "Well, it was…nice. For an Ero-boy." And she closed the door.

Nami said my singing was…nice. She said it was…nice?

I jumped around in joy saying, "Yeah! She said I was nice! Nice! Nice! Nice!"

_Your such a dweeb._ My con…Michael said. Yeah, got to get use to calling him that.

_Oh shut the hell up, I'll take what I can get._

_Yeah yeah, I mean no harm Screaver._

I don't even know why I like Nami so much. I think I have a soft spot for red heads, seeing that I developed crushes for other girls like Kansumi from Dead or Alive or Orihime from Bleach. I'm sure there are_ other_ reasons why I like them like…like I said I won't go into detail.

I looked out on the sea, then at the sky. It was a nice shade of dark blue that seemed to glow.

The moon was full and shining bright silver. And there were millions of stars, covering the whole sky.

"Now that ain't something you see everyday." I said quietly.

I looked around the boat and saw a few crates, the remains of my clothes, and some fishing gear. At least I think it was fishing gear, since it was just a wooden stick with a string tied to the end and a bucket of bait.

_Hey, why not?_

I picked up the rod, hooked on some bait, and threw it into the ocean. I had some time to kill, might as well try to catch some breakfast. I know how to cook a little, so I might help until Sanji arrives.

That dream, my first real dream. It was…incredible. So that's what I've been missing all this time. It felt so real. The wind, the seat, Nami…that kiss. Hey hey hey…it didn't happen. I shouldn't think on it.

But it felt so REAL!

As I was thinking I began singing again, this time it was the One Piece opening, Hikari E.

_I think back to the time when my search first began,_

_I left behind those shores of sand._

_For the endless, everlasting world out there._

_I know that with this burning passion loving me_

_someday, somewhere I'll finally see the light I've searched for everywhere._

Hell, I don't care if I wake up the whole damn ocean. I wanna sing, I'll sing…mutherfucker.

"I don't mean to interrupt…" another voice said.

I looked to the side boat and saw Zoro, crossed armed, and looking like someone just woke him up. Oh yeah, that was me. Ooops.

"I didn't know you could sing." He asked.

"Yeah, I've been singing for years." I replied.

"Uh huh. So, you were out cold for days, you ok?" What's with him and saying nothing but questions?

"Just a bit hungry. Did I miss anything?"

"Well, we found this weird island with all these strange animals and a bush stuck in a box. Nothing much."

Oh good. I thought that place was so boring. Glad I missed it.

"But seriously, keep it down. We are trying to sleep. I don't want to be woken up again." He gave me a cold stare and went back inside. I turned back around and went back to fishing.

After I while I caught a few fish. It wasn't enough for 3 people and a 'Luffy' but hey, it was something. I looked at my wounded…pre-wounded arm. I concentrated and, sure enough, it glowed and it formed into a bazooka. I swung it around a few times. It felt surprisingly light. The boat passed by a few rocks. I aimed my gun and fired it.

-KABOOM-

The blast obliterated the rock. I released the tension and it returned to normal. I was feeling tired from using too much of my power.

Well, it had been a long and productive night, so I fell to the ground, closed my eyes, and fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Hooray…Were Here

Mission Start: Recruiting the Liar

I woke up the next morning will Luffy staring right in my face, again.

I frowned and clocked him in the side of the head. He rolled to the side laughing.

I sat up and saw Zoro looking out at the ocean and Nami sitting in the corner looking rather pissed off.

"Heh heh heh, you're awake!" Luffy cheered.

"Yeah no shit, smart-ass."

I'm kinda grumpy in the morning.

Luffy hopped up onto his perch on the 'guys' ship and chomped up a few apples.

Nami finally stood up and said, "We can't go on like this. We won't make it to the Grand Line like this."

Luffy retorted, "-chomp- yeah, were gonna need a lot more meat. Eating fruit all the time is for the birds."

"Yeah," Zoro added in, "and some booze as well."

Nami groaned and started going on about the Grand Line, and a ship, and blah blah blah. I was just enjoying the pretty view…of the…horizon…ok ok, of Nami. So what?

Wait, I just realized, I haven't had contact with a computer for a week and a half!

…Oh well, not that important. Yet.

"Where should we start in acquiring all these things you want Nami? And, more importantly, how do you plan on buying it?" I snidely asked.

She responded by knocking me over my head. Good answer.

"Anyways, there is an inhabited island nearby. We could stock up on things there."

Oh boy…Usopp. Hurrah hurrah. I don't really hate him; it's just that he seems like such a pussy in the anime, I wasn't so thrilled to meet him in person.

"ALRIGHT! FRESH MEAT!"

"And booze as well."

"And maybe some medical treatment, please." I added.

* * *

After some more sailing, we docked at the beach. I leaped onto the ground and hugged it.

"Oh how I missed you. Solid, not swaying, ground."

"You have some troubles ahead if you want to be a pirate and can't take some sea travel." Nami said jokingly.

"Heheh…whatever."

Ok, Luffy just got shoot at by Usopp, his flags were raised, cue Usopp entering with his stupid fake courage in 6…5…4…3…2…

"HAHAHAHA! I AM USOPP! CAPTAIN OF THE PIRATES WHO CONTROL THIS ISLAND!"

Damn, I was off by a few seconds.

"MY CREW OF 8,000,000 SUPER PIRATE SOLDIERS WILL…"

In a split second I morphed my arm and aimed at the left of his 'crew.' I was just about to take a good chunk out of his crew when I got a great idea.

I let my arm take in the energy around me. It felt as if my arm was inhaling all the air around me. My gun grew brighter and brighter.

Usoppp looked panicked. "Uh…As I said. MY CREW OF 8,000,000 SUPER PIRATE SOLDIERS WILL…"

-KABOOM-

The explosion obliterated the entire right half of the cliff. Trees, flags, rock, all gone.

"Die easily?" I said, finishing his sentence.

Usopp had a look of pure terror.

His eyes were a foot from his face, his jaw dropped to the ground, and he was making some weird gurgling sounds. I looked back, rather lazily, at my crew.

Luffy's eyes were gleaming brightly and repeating the phrase "SO COOL!"

Nami was just as scared as Usopp, but wasn't as exaggerated. Zoro looked a little panicked, but other than that took it completely well.

"Un…unbelievable." Nami gasped.

I was tired and didn't feel like making a big deal out of it. In fact my power reminded of me as Megaman, which didn't lighten my mood.

Usopp still looked terrified, but it soon changed to anger as he pulled his slingshot and threatened us, blah blah. Luffy intimidates him, etc. etc.

They get to talking about Yasopp and we all got to the local restaurant and have a bite to eat…munch munch.

I was sitting next to Luffy and ate as much as he did.

Somehow it turned into a competition and we were eating whole legs of mutton, bushels of apples, and baskets of bread.

It ended when he decided to talk to Usopp about his dad, so I was left to look at Nami with food all over my face looking like a fool.

_What a fool!_

_Shut up Mick!_

Ha! That's my new nickname for him, Mick. Ha!

"Soooo Usopp, do you know anyone who could give us a ship?" Nami quickly said.

"Sorry, our town is pretty small." Usopp casually said.

"What about that mansion at the top of the hill?" Zoro questioned.

"Maybe we could ask…" Nami began but was cut off by Usopp shouting, "YOU STAY AWAY FROM THERE!"

He freaked out, made up an excuse, and bolted.

"We should follow him." I said.

"Why?" Nami asked.

"Do you want to pay for the bill?" I said smiling.

She quickly stood up and said, "Follow him!"

* * *

We followed him out to the mansion, but were cut off by the hedge fence. Those weird vegi-miggets joined up with us and told us there was no way in, but Luffy stretched his arms, we all grabbed on stupidly, as he yelled out, "GUM GUM ROCKET!"

We flew through the air. Luffy landed first, I landed on the ground, Zoro landed in some bushes, and Nami landed on me! She quickly swayed me away cursing and I just stood up and rubbed my sore back.

We looked up and saw Usopp, in a tree, with Kaya in the window seal.

Now I need to mention in the anime her clothes looked pretty solid. But here…well it kinda showed some things. It must have been one of those transparent lingerie-type underwear (what? I'm just stating the facts people!) I won't go into detail…ok, it showed her nipples.

There, you happy? And her breast weren't that small either. She was over-average size, but nothing compared to…ahh…Nami's (heh heh…I'm sorry…)

She was cute: her skin was pale white, her hair faded blonde, and her face was petite but looked fragile.

I could see why Usopp would like her, that's all I'm saying.

"Hey, can we ask you a favor?" Luffy called out.

Before she could answer, a dark voice called out, "Hey you, over there!"

Ugh…Captain Kuro, or Klahadore as he goes by now, strolled up towards us.

I hated that guy, not just because of what he will do, but because he is such a PUSSY!

In every sense of the word. What a bitch

Goes so low for no good reason. I could kill him right now and would not give two shits. But this is Luffy's battle, not mine.

"Get out." He said while fixing his glasses like a pansy.

"Hey guys, who's he?" Luffy asked.

"Klahadore!" Kaya called out.

"I want you all to leave these grounds immediately." He said coldly.

"Stop it Klahadore!" Kaya persisted.

"Miss Kaya, please stay out of this. I shall deal with these lowlifes."

Ok, he has two chances left before I got ballistic on him. I cracked my fingers. I was itching to fight him.

"Hey! Could you help us? We need pirate ship!" Luffy stupidly called out.

The butler just scoffed and said, "Absolutely not. Like I would help such low-life scum such as yourselves."

One more buddy, and your ass is beat.

"Just like your father, Usopp."

_Ok, that was uncalled for._

I was about to strike, but Usopp was way ahead of me. He jumped from the tree, darted toward him, and punched him in the face.

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY FATHER! My father is a brave warrior of the sea! I am proud to be his son! The son of a PIRATE!"

Kuro just got back up and rubbed the bruise on his face, faking it like a bitch. Or maybe he is such a bitch that a weakling like Usopp could actually hurt him (no offense Usopp but he is kinda weak.)

"You see Miss Kaya, his kind are all the same." He said in "pain."

"Yo, you with the glasses…" I said.

He looked at me, I grinned at him, and I decided to take a leaf out of Kory's book and wagged my middle finger at him while saying, "_Shat de FUCK up._"

Everyone stared at me, except Luffy who started laughing, as I walked over to the butler. I took my time, cracking my neck as I walked.

"And what do you want, boy?"

_OK, NOW YOU DIE__!_

I kept my cool as I said, "I'm sorry, did you just call me _boy_?"

"Yes, yes I did." He said back.

I looked back at Zoro, who was giving a look that said, _Oh that guy is in for it._

I gave him an evil grin, and in a split second slipped into my boxing stance and gave him one strong jab to the stomach.

I completely lost my cool as I yelled, "MY NAME IS SCREAVER, GOD DAMN IT! NOT _BOY_! IS IT THAT SO FUCKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND THAT I'M 18 FOR FUCKSAKE!"

_Ahem_…well…it's true.

He flew back and slammed into a tree. Everyone gasped as my REALLY angry glare was fixed on that damn butler.

"KLAHADORE!" Kaya screamed in terror.

I don't care. The guy is shit after all, even though no one knows it yet.

The guy got back up, probably not even harmed by my attack but got back up still pretending he was just some butler.

"You won't get your hands on her. Never…" He said with fake emotion.

"Quit the shit you lying son of a bitch! I know your game…" And my biggest mistake… "1000 plan-man." I said smugly.

He froze. His eyes widened. Let's just say his "OH SHIT!" face was priceless.

"Oh? You remember that name? Well you should. You need to tie up your past ends up better…Klahadore. Or should I say Ku…"

Before I could finish, Kaya yelled, "Stop this at once! Leave this place immediately!"

I turned around at looked at her. She was angry. Really angry.

I shrugged and walked back saying quietly, "pffffff, whatever. Damn pirate will get what he deserves later."

The only ones who didn't hear me were Kaya, Usopp, and the kids. Luffy, Zoro, and Nami stared at me wondering what the hell I was doing.

"Come on, we got to prepare."

"Hold it!" Kuro yelled at me. "Who are you? What do you mean?"

I looked back, smiled, and said in a New Yorker accent, "My name is Screaver Bartel, just your average delinquent who knows a lot of things about a lot of things. Don't _fuck_ with me."


	11. Chapter 11

Confronting the Moonwalker

I Kick Ass and Get Some Soul-Food

After we left the mansion, Nami asked me, "What the hell was that? Why did you beat up that butler? There was no reason for it! Now how are we going to get a ship?"

Luffy stopped. He turned to Nami and said in a dead serious tone, "Screaver isn't a bad person. He must have done it for a good reason. He wouldn't hit an innocent person. That butler must be a bad guy. Right?" He turned to me.

"Yes. That "butler" is actually the terrible pirate, Captain Kuro. He has been hiding on this island for three years and plans to kill Kaya and take all her money. He is going to use his pirate crew to raid the village and blame them while getting away with murder and will remain on this island with wealth and peace, or something like that."

"How do you know?" Zoro asked.

"Because I KNOW! I know he will do this, just trust me on this! We have to…"

Just before I could finish, a weird man was doing the moon walk down the road. He stopped and looked at us. He had long hippy hair and heart-shaped glasses, wearing a bunch of stupid looking clothes.

"Stop that. It's an insult to M.J. memory." I said jokingly.

"Excuse me?" He responded.

"Never mind, who are you?" Nami trying to change the subject.

He did a pose and said, "Well if you must know, I am a hypnotist."

"Yeah right. Prove it." Nami scoffed.

"Very well. Come over here boy." He directed at me.

_WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU FRUITY SON OF A BITCH?_

"Now on the count of one, two, Jango you will fall fast asleep." He said holding his ring.

I rolled up my sleeve.

"ONE."

I prepared my punch.

"TWO."

I lunged at him.

"JANGO."

-THUD-

Darkness. That was all I could see. I couldn't move or anything.

* * *

When I came too, I was under a tree. I got up and looked around. Nami was looking rather worried. Zoro was gone. Luffy was gone. Usopp was yelling something down the hill.

Nami glanced and saw me, looking rather angry, rushed over to me and bonked me on the head.

"Nice going, smart-ass! Getting knocked out before telling us what was going on!"

"Let me guess," I said rubbing my head, "Usopp came over and clarified my story."

"Yes." She replied.

"Luffy and Zoro left for the beach."

She nodded.

"Well, we better get there as well." I said. "Hey Usopp! Come on! We have to hurry in order to defend the beach!"

Usopp turned around and sort of panicked. I guess he was a little afraid of me. Whatever. I ran toward were we docked.

* * *

I took about 20 minutes, but that was still better than how long the other two will take. I looked down the open path and saw the enemy's ship. I looked just like in the anime, cat mast and everything. All the men were looking through our ships.

"HEY! LEAVE MY TREASURE ALONE!" Nami called out behind me.

They all turned around and saw the following: A beat up delinquent, a small red head, and a long-nosed coward hiding behind a bush.

"HAHAHA! You think you can stop us?" One of the men said.

"No! But he can!" Nami replied, pointed at me, and joined Usopp behind his hiding spot.

"Fine. I save your treasure." I replied lazily. I can whip these guys without using my powers. The men jeered and started to charge at me.

The first two came at me with short swords, I ducked at close-lined the both of them. I dropkicked the next guy and he collided with another guy. I went into my boxing stance and just kept on punching every single guy who crossed my path. It was just wave after wave of men until they all laid at my feet, beaten and unconscious, while I stood victorious and nearly unharmed.

"HA! That was fun, but too easy. Come on, was that it?" I said as I kicked one of the fallen pirates. I looked back and saw Nami and Usopp's gawking expressions.

Luffy and Zoro finally showed up; took them long enough.

"Aw…did we miss the fight?" Luffy asked disappointed.

"Actually you just missed an awesome party. Yeah we had booze, meat, dancing, music, and hookers! You should have been here, everyone else already passed out from too much alcohol." I said sarcastically.

"OH MAN! I missed the meat!" Luffy complained. Zoro just rolled his eyes in disgust at his stupid captain.

"Hey…what are hookers? Are they tasty?" Luffy said scratching his head. I face-palmed at his ignorance. I looked back and saw that the defeated men had crawled back to their captain, that Jango guy, as Jango was waving his magic ring.

"One…two…Jango!"

All his men roared in anger. There muscles expanded and were shouting curses and beating their chests.

One of them took his fist and smashed the side of the cliff into rubble.

_Oh SHITCAKES!_

Fortunately, Luffy was also under the hypnotist's spell and let out a murderous roar.

"Damn it! Not you too Luffy!" Zoro cursed.

Luffy charged towards the mob of enraged super-pirates. I was smart enough to jump out of the way and let 'nature take its course.'

"GUM GUM GATLING!" Luffy unleashed a wall of punches that delivered all I did in a matter of seconds.

_Show off._

Still, at least they would stay down for the count this time. Luffy then rushed over to their ship and ripped of the cat mast. Then he proceeded to crush all of us with it, but failed after being hypnotized by Jango again and got crushed himself.

"We need some extra help. SHAM! BUCHI! GET OUT HERE!" Jango called out. From the ship, two blurs jumped out and landed near their captain. They…well…one looked like a total pedophile with hairy legs, green Elvis-style hair, cat ears and pale as a ghost, while the other was just a fat-ass in a cape and a cat mask.

"Oh wow. They're here. They're queer. Get use to it." I said. Zoro gave me a funny look.

"Zoro, before you go up against them, they are actually deadly assassins. They will pretend to be weak, but then they will steal your swords before you strike. Finish them quickly before they steal your katana." I warned him.

"What? Yeah right. I only need one…"

"Take all three! May I remind you when I took a knife wound from Buggy cuz you were to stupid to see otherwise! Take all three, shithead!"

"Don't call me a shithead, stupid kid!"

"You want to start something, shitty swordsman."

"Bring it, BOY!"

Ok, I know that I shouldn't get into an argument with this guy _now_, but he was being stupid, and I don't want this to drag out because he's being stupid. Draw all three swords, kill them quickly, and we can move on to the Baratie Arc. Plain and simple.

The green haired catman was running like a girl, heading toward Zoro. "I'm gonna get you all!"

"Just use all three swords." I told him.

"Yeah yeah." Zoro said and charged at him. The…cat…man…thing…pedo…whatever saw that his façade was all null and void so he charged at Zoro and their weapons clashed.

The fat one joined in and they unleashed a barrage of cat-claw strikes. Zoro was defending himself real well with all 3 of his katana, it seemed like he was just toying with them now. The fat guy used his cat pouncing attack or whatever.

I headed back to where Nami was hiding and just sat down.

"What are you doing? Go wake Luffy up!" She yelled at me.

"I'm sorry, why do you take on a whole fuckin army of pirates and then I'll cower behind a bush next time. Wake him yourself."

"Ugh, fine!" She retorted and dashed off towards Luffy.

_Uh, you do remember that she gets hurt BECAUSE she goes of past that guy with the ring right?_ Michael chimed in.

_Huh?...OH SHIT!_

"NAMI! STOP!"

-SLICE-

Too late. The ringmaster sliced her arm and she fell to the ground.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" Now I owe him two punches, one for calling me boy, and the other for cutting Nami. You know what…I'll just blow him up. Why the fuck not?

I looked straight at that guy through his heart shaped glasses, but before I could do anything, everyone felt a strange sense of evil coming from behind me. I turned around and saw…ugh…Captain Kuro. In all his unimpressive, evil glory.

"It is passed dawn, and yet my plan has still not worked! What the hell are you doing?" He shouted to his past crew.

I turned around and said, "Shove your plan up your ass you ass-kissing, betraying, lowly-lying son of a pussy. We aren't letting you get away with the crimes you have committed. You will taste justice." Oh god, I'm starting to sound like Justin Law. Maybe it's a side effect of using his powers. Oh well, not important at the moment.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance boy." He said to me.

_Ok, this is comical now, really fucking funny! Seriously, I'm 18 with a height of 6'2! WTF?_

"Don't tell me that you have been stopped by these rats. Have the Kuro Pirates been reduced to a bunch of weaklings in my absence?" He called out to his crew. He continued about how we were just a bunch of weak kids and how his plans were disrupted, etc. But I was just thinking on how I was gonna beat this asshole.

Jango was sweating at his captain's disapproval, but the Meow Brothers seemed to be angered by his words.

"You call us weak?" Sham said.

"You were strong, but while you were all safe on this island, we were building our strength plundering towns and sinking ships. We have become stronger than you!" Buchi said. The brothers bared their teeth and charged at their former captain. They leaped over me, kinda glad about that.

"Before you kill us, we will kill YOU!" They pounced and slashed.

-SLICE-

Instead of hitting their captain, all that was there was an empty weapon's case, which was reduced to shreds. Kuro was behind the two, armed with his cat claws, only a few feet from me.

"You said you were going to kill…who?" He asked them.

They whirled around, but he did his little stepping routine and disappeared again. He then reappeared with his arms around both of the two brothers, claws near their throats.

"Ah, my body is still resisting." He said impossibly calm and cut their throats slightly. I could help but be intimidated. Damn, will Luffy just wake up! OH SHIT, NAMI!

I charged towards the beach, hoping to get Nami out of their before anything else got messed up.

"5 minutes…If you don't do it in 5 minutes…I will kill everyone with my own hands."

He released the brothers and they pounced on Zoro. He fought with them for a while. They were really going at it, out of anger or fear. Fortunately for us, he unleashed his Three Sword Style technique and finished them off in one go. He pointed his sword at Kuro and began taunting him.

I could see Buchi begging Jango to hypnotize him so he could beat Zoro, which he did. I saw his muscles expanding as he let out an animalistic roar. Jango had to be taken out. But first, Buchi.

"Hey, fat ass. Come get some!" I shouted. He looked at me with beady, evil eyes.

"Nami, watch out!" Zoro shouted.

I saw how close Nami was to getting an extreme hair cut before Luffy knocked her down and caught the ring with his teeth. But that guy can eat anything, so I didn't worry. I needed to focus on the big guy, who was focused on me.

"3 minutes until I kill you." Kuro announced.

"Buchi, finish off the swordsman and that other fighter. I'll take care of the strawhat."

"I'm not just a fighter." I said with a smile.

_Show them the bling bling, Screaver._

I concentrated and my arms began to glow bright. The glow manifested into my two bazooka barrels, shining in the sunlight.

"I am a Demon Weapon!" I charged at the giant. He swiped at me, but I deflected with my bazooka. I hit him hard in the gut, and he doubled over. From that I leaped of his back and aimed my gun.

"SUCK ON IT!"

-KABOOM-

As my attack blew a hole in his body, his body changed.

His body turned completely black, and it began to unravel into ribbons of darkness. The ribbons wrapped themselves together tighter and tighter until it created a small pulse of energy and turned into…a molten looking potato. It was like an apple that was thrown in a volcano or something.

_A kishin soul._ Michael said in my brain.

_You did this?_

_Well, technically it is a dark soul, but once you absorb it, it acts just like a kishin egg. So you can become a Death Scythe._

_Oh…how thoughtful of you. Wait…what about the witches' soul then?_

_Uhhhh…give me some time, I'll come up with something._

I landed on the ground and claimed my prize. I held it in my hand, but everyone was staring at me wondering what the fuck I just did. I had to say something.

"BEHOLD!" I announced, holding my prize, "this is the soul of one who has strayed from the path of good. A Dark Soul if you would. Any who falls from my hand with a wicked soul shall be rendered to this form, just the same as dying."

All the other pirates were scared shitless. Zoro seemed to look a little panicked. Luffy thought it was pretty cool. Jango was freaking out about how I killed one of his men. Kuro's expression didn't change. I looked at the soul. It feltrough but warm in my hand. I grabbed it by its 'tail' and took a leaf out of Soul's book...and ate it.

The taste was…indescribable. It was wonderful, phenomenal, exhilarating, like eating a huge quantity of energy packed in one bite. And yes, the texture going down my throat felt…oooooooh…what's the word…I don't know but it was soothing. A pulse of light emitted from my body and I was immediately energized. All my fatigue faded away and my guns were shining in the sun.

"TIME TO GO KILL A CAT!"


	12. Chapter 12

Showdown Part 2

Kaya Gets in the Way and Kuro Snaps!

I was all pumped up and ready for action. Ready to kill that smug son of a bitch.

_Wait, this is Luffy's fight. Not mine._

So instead, I rushed over to Nami, who had fallen next to the giant pillar where Luffy was.

"Luffy, you're up. You have to defeat this guy. Hell, you're the only one who can." I told him.

"Right. Time to kick that butler's ass!" He cheered and cracked his knuckles. I turned to Nami and looked at her wound. I caused this…God I suck. I made her walk right into danger like an idiot.

_Can you heal her? _I asked Michael inside my head.

_I can only affect your own body, not others. I'm not a doctor._ He replied.

I didn't know what to do. I had no medical equipment, and I'm not a doctor either.

"It's fine." Nami said weakly. "Just do your best…don't let him…take my…treasure."

She put her head on the ground, clasping her bloody shoulder, and fell asleep.

"Nami? Wake up Nami!" Luffy said concerned.

"Forget her Luffy, let's take Kuro out." I told him.

Just as we were about to move in on the final guy, a voice yelled out, "Klahadore! STOP EVRYTHING!"

It was Kaya. She was wearing a large overcoat and looked like she was in pretty bad shape. Well, she _has _been inside for about 3 years and just went on an hour long hike. I couldn't blame her.

"Kaya! What are you doing here?" Usopp called to her.

"It's that girl. Now we don't have to go to the village…as long as we kill that girl." One of the pirates said.

"Like hell you will you bunch of weaklings!" I said as I kicked one of them down the beach.

"Oh, Miss Kaya, how did you get here?" Kuro said, still acting like her butler (the bastard.)

"Stop it Klahadore! I heard everything from Merri!" She said. I just think the fact that a girl like her is able to face this guy after all the shit he did. I'm just saying it's pretty admirable.

"Oh, he's still alive; I thought I got rid of him already." He said fixing his glasses.

Kaya was on the verge of tears. Once again I can't blame her. Her whole world is crashing down on her! She was speaking softly so I couldn't hear her from my position, but I knew she was apologizing to Usopp for being a bitch, him telling her she should leave, etc.

"Klahadore! I'll give you my treasure! I just want you to leave this village alone!" She told him.

And then he said the line that made me hate him the most.

"You misunderstand Miss Kaya. While I do want your money, what I also want is a peaceful life. These villagers trusted me for 3 years, which has become part of my peaceful life. My plan will succeed when I acquire both peace _and _your treasure. So the accident with the pirates, and your will, are the most important part of my plan."

But he kept on going.

"Besides, these pirates won't be around to cause much trouble anyway. I'll stop them before they destroy most of the village. I will kill them all off and _then_ I will stay on this island and live a peaceful life, for the rest of _my_ life."

I won't be silent. I won't let Luffy get this guy. He is EXACTLY the kind of guy I hate.

"IS THAT WHAT YOU WHAT YOU SHITTY SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed.

He turned around and looked at me with uninterested eyes.

"You are exactly the kind of guy that I hate in this world! No reason, no justification, you just use who ever the fuck you want and take whatever the fuck you want! If you wanted a peaceful life, then maybe you shouldn't have been a pirate captain your fuckin idiot! And by the end of the day, I will send you to the lowest pit of hell you lowly, evil, pansy-ass, shit eating bitch!"

I really don't know where the anger came from. In fact, this is a complete change in my sense of justice. But...I CAN'T HELP IT! HE IS PURE, FUCKING EVIL!

I felt energy racing through me; I could feel my body growing stronger.

Jango drew his rings and said, "Shut up you stupid kid! You dare insult the great, Captain Ku…" He never got to finish.

I held up my remaining bazooka. A handle popped out of the side and adjusted for my hand to grab it. I aimed the cannon at him. The cannon began blinking as it absorbed power.

"THIS IS FOR NAMI! MEGA BUSTER!"

A large beam of light was shot out of my cannon and pierced Jango's chest. It burned a huge, foot in diameter, smoldering hole in his body. He looked up in shock as his body unraveled just like Buchi's did.

All that was left was a floating soul.

Kuro looked very angry now. I just ruined his whole plan. A vein popped out of his head.

"You will pay for that, you stupid insect." He said in his calm and angry tone.

"You're next asshole!" I pointed to him.

Everyone was shocked. The Black Cat Pirates were scared any crying about me killing their step-in captain. Luffy's face was blank, just staring and Kuro. Zoro's face was blank as well, he just stood there near me. I got out of my pose and claimed my prize. I swallowed it whole. MAN those things taste goooooooooooood!

"What does it taste like?" Zoro asked me.

I didn't have time to answer him.

I looked up and saw Kaya pull out her gun at him. "Please leave this village!" She pleaded with him.

"Do you remember Miss Kaya? Since you lost your parents, we have been together everyday in these three years. We went sailing, we went to the town together, and when you were sick I would take care of you. We were happy and said together. I've tried very hard to do everything for you. I have spent these years doing _stupid_ things, and I have been very patient. Waiting for the day when I KILL you!"

Kaya dropped the gun in tears. She sobbed as Kuro continued on saying how being with her was an insult. He completely ignored me!

"SHUT UP YOU ASSHOLE! BAZOOKA PUNCH!"

I charged at him but he met my cannon with his claws. We were evenly matched, somehow. Damn I thought he was pure speed, but he had some muscles after all.

I leaped back as he continued standing in his one spot.

"HOW CAN YOU SAY SHIT LIKE THAT? After all those years of taking care of her, you go and blow it all off as if it was nothing? Didn't she mean something to you? You were like a father to her! Have you no soul?"

"This does not concern you, boy. Leave this place to its fate."

"STOP CALLING ME BOY!"

I rearmed both of my cannons, lifted them up as if they were two big boxing gloves. The barrels seemed to slide downward, growing shorter so they fit just _like _a pair of boxing gloves. The back of the chamber was only a few inches from the edge of the bazooka.

-CLUNK- -CLUNK-

"Just what I was hoping for."

I gave him a volley of punches, but he dodged them. He swiped at me a few times, but my master reflexes made me dodged them. I jumped backwards as he stayed at the top of the hill.

"Is that all you can give me? Boy?"

_FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!_

"KURO!" Usopp yelled as he launched himself at Kuro. He missed, obviously.

Kuro smiled and said, "Usopp, you did hit me hard back the…"

-BAM-

A fist stretched over and hit Kuro right in the face! Way to go Luffy!

"You don't like being hit? I'll hit you another 100 times!" He announced.

Kuro laid on the ground flat. I walked over to Usopp, who was sitting on the ground.

"Nice try Usopp, but you should probably stick to the slingshot." I said with a chuckle. He jumped at the sight of me, but he quickly got over his fear and nodded.

"Those two…what did you do to them?" He asked me.

"I'll tell you after. Go over there and comfort her. She's in pain and needs a friend right now. You have to protect her."

"What can I do? I'll get killed!"

I grabbed him by the overalls and said, "A true man will do anything for a woman in need! Go over there and comfort her! BE A MAN!" And I pushed him over to her. I turned my attention to Kuro, who was getting his face beat in by those vegi-miggets.

"GO! You need to escape!" Usopp told them.

They declined just before Kuro sat back up. He fixed his glasses which shattered as he fixed them. He stood up and…completely ignored the little guys. Weird.

Then he kicked Usopp, knocking Kaya back with him. OH SHIT! I try to help the guy get lucky, and they BOTH get hit. Oh well.

"That hurt a little. Did you eat a devil fruit?" Kuro asked Luffy.

"YEP! I ate the Gum Gum Fruit, and now I'm a Rubberman!"

Kuro sighed. "I guess I'll have to kill you. Then I will force Kaya to write the will. _Then _I'll kill her."

"Fat change asshole!" I said and stood between him and Kaya.

"I'll be damned if I let you hurt her ANYMORE then you already have!" I held my bazooka gloves up. I was in my boxer's stance, with a little bounce in my step.

"Why must you get in the way boy? You have no business here."

"I have three reasons to which I am here. ONE: You plan on attacking a whole village that has done nothing wrong, therefore I must stop you. TWO: You are going to kill this lovely young lady for no good reason, therefore I must stop that. AND THREE: MY NAME IS SCEAVER BARTEL! NOT BOY!" And I leaped in the air. Somehow I made a bazooka form out of my foot and it launched me into the air. I made the handle appear out of my bazooka, and took aim.

"MEGA BUSTER!"

I launched the blast at him, but he vanished the instant it had almost got him. I landed back on the ground and he appeared right behind me. He stabbed down, but I rolled and kick his claws away. I got back up and gave him a right hook to the side, but he dodged. This was getting old!

_You have to keep him from moving._ Michael told me.

_How? Wait…I got it!_

"KURO! YOU GET YOUR PANSY ASS BACK HERE YA PUSSYFOOT BITCH!"

He seemed to be affected by my insults now. He walked over to me, his veins were still popping out, he didn't seem to notice that I was backing us towards a fallen chunk of the cliffside.

"LUFFY! GET OVER HERE!" I yelled to him.

"Right!" He called back. I watched Kuro slowly come towards me, but the instant I saw him lunge forward, I spun around and grabbed the boulder.

-CLANK-

He planned to stab straight for me, but I knew better. I spun around, grabbed the boulder, intercepted the stab with _said_ boulder, and had him completely at Luffy's mercy. Luffy stretched his arms back as he ran straight towards Kuro's undefended side.

"GUM GUM BAZOOKA!"

-BAM-

As Luffy's attack hit Kuro in the side, I snapped his claws as he propelled forward into a tree. He spat out some blood, and slid to the ground, hopefully unconscious. Luffy ran over towards me, and offered me a high five. And hey, I took it. Hell yeah, we beat Kuro!

_You know he's not dead._ Michael said, ruining the mood.

_Must you spoil everything, Mick?_ I complained.

Sure enough, Kuro rose to his feet, with a look of complete hatred on his face. He took a few steps forward, and hunched over.

"Uh oh! It's the captain's strongest attack!" One of the crewmembers said in terror.

I forget what it's called. The Cat-out-of-the-bag attack? No no, that's the 4kids version.

_Ugh...now isn't the time to be thinking about 4kids._

He began to sway back and forward, his claws dangling.

"Luffy, on the count of three, I want you to throw a Gum Gum Whip where I point. Ok?"

"Huh? Why?" He asked.

"Just trust me. I know these things." I ensured him. Kuro pounced. A sway of purple fog passed through the path towards the beach. Thank God Nami left there. Kuro then began picking off his crew members, the bastard.

"He's attacking his own crew?" Luffy said in shock.

"I hate guys like him." I said.

Kuro's attack then launched itself toward us.

"Luffy, one…"

It got closer.

"Two…"

It was only a few meters away.

"THREE!"

"GUM GUM WHIP!"

Luffy swung his foot and knocked Kuro out of his attack. Kuro was flung into a tree, again. Kuro's head was spinning.

"HELL YEAH!"

Wait…where did Zoro go?

Oh there he is, fighting that Sham guy. Sham had a huge cut across his chest and multiple wounds all over his body, but had a look of pure hatred on his face.

"HOW DARE YOU KILL MY BROTHER YOU LOUSY PIRATES!"

Uh…isn't he a pirate? Anyway, Kuro got back up; fixing what ever remained of his glasses and stepped toward us.

"Ready for round three? I got all day!" I taunted. Kuro smiled, and did his step routine. He disappeared. I looked instinctively behind me, and saw in terror what he was doing.

He had Kaya by the throat, his claws at her neck, with Usopp on the ground unconscious. Kuro had a murderous look in his eye.

He said in his deathly calm tone, "This is the end for you all."


	13. Chapter 13

The Final Fight

A New Power and Weakness...Just my Luck

"HEY! LET HER GO!" Luffy yelled.

"If I can't have my money, then I can at least have my peace. I will KILL her and blame it on those idiots, whom will soon DIE!" He cackled. I think he lost his cool after being wounded like this, 3 times no less. Kaya had tears in her eyes, wriggling as he held her by the throat.

I screamed. I aimed my gun at him, but Kaya was in the way.

"KURO!" Kaya strained. And then she said something I couldn't even believe.

"If it will put you at ease…I'll die for you! Just leave these people alone! No more violence! Please!" She said in her shrill voice.

"NOOOOO!" A voice screamed out of nowhere. Everyone looked at that person. That person…was me?

"DON'T YOU DARE GIVE YOUR LIFE FOR THAT DOUCHEBAG! What are you accomplishing from letting him win like that? How selfish are you? You'll cause so much suffering for everyone around you! Like Usopp! And the village! You have to live for their sakes!"

Kaya swallowed her tears, and tried to nod. _Seriously, what she thinking? He won't stop with her! He'll kill us all._

"I don't think this is up for debate!" Kuro said with glee, and cut her throat slightly. Blood ran down her neck.

_MICHAEL!_

_Um…what?_ He asked.

_I HAVE A PLAN! LISTEN!_

_Umm…uhuh…uhuh…WHAT? That's crazy! I haven't done that before! _He warned me.

_IF IT WORKS IN SOUL EATER, IT WILL WORK HERE! DO IT!_

_Its too risky! You might…_ He tried to say.

_I DON'T CARE! DO IT!_

_Ugh…right away. LET'S DO THIS!_

My idea was simple. In Soul Eater, there is a special power called Demon Hunter, which has the ability to hurt only evil things and does not affect good things. But it could only happen when a weapon and a meister used soul reasonance (linking their souls together). I want Michael to give me this power, without using a miser. Simple, really.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I looked like I was powering up Super-Sayain style. I felt pure power coursing through my veins. My gun began to glow even brighter, and grow even bigger. Luffy stepped back when he saw my soul wavelength pulse from my body.

"DEMON HUNTER!"

My bazooka grew double in size, and it turned black. It had vein like lines connecting all the knobs and studs that stuck out. The handle had a skull on the end of it. On the end of the barrel, two eyes were painted on it. They looked like the eyes of the flying bullet from the Mario games. Completed with the big, evil smile stretched on the bottom. I thought it was badass!

_You do realize this has a 50% of failing, killing her and you in the process, right?_

_I LIKEA THEM ODDS!_

"Whatever you're doing," Kuro said looking panicky, "Stop or I will kill her first!"

"NO YOU WON"T!"

I grabbed the handle, pulled it back and it made a huge clank noise. I think I might have imagined this, but a small targeting circle appeared from somewhere and locked onto Kuro's face.

"NO YOU WON'T! DEMON BUSTER!"

-KABOOM-

A single, red energy ball shot out of the cannon. It flew straight at Kaya, passed through her, then passed through Kuro and disintegrated the tree behind them.

Several seconds passed, Kuro rubbed his chest and cackled, "HAHAHA! WHAT WAS THAT? Your attack failed!"

I smiled as his expression changed. He looked down and saw a huge, gapping hole in his torso.

"The Demon Hunter shall only punish the truly evil at heart, and leave the pure unharmed. NOW BURN IN HELL YA PRICK!"

He roared in pain, as his body disintegrated. He than began to form into a dark soul. Kaya turned around and saw in horror, as the man she looked up to, die before her eyes. My gun seemed to evaporate into its original form and then dissipated. All my energy immediately disappeared, and I collapsed on the spot.

"SCREAVER! YOU OK? THAT WAS SO COOL!"

I couldn't respond, couldn't move. I laid there helplessly until everything faded to black.

* * *

Once again I was in that neon blue room with Michael looking at me.

"We need to talk." He said.

"Ok, what about?"

"Well, remember how I said I never did this before…"

"Yeah, and…"

"Well, we hit a little problem."

"What problem?"

"Uh well, you see, it's kinda," he was really fidgety, looking at his shoes.

"SPIT IT OUT!" I shook him.

"Well, when ever you enter Demon Hunter mode, it takes time of your life."

"WHAT! HOW LONG?"

"Every time you enter mode…it will…take a year off your life." He said sheepishly.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"This normally happens when two souls connect! But when you enter with just your soul alone, your soul will get drained into your attacks. I'm sorry!"

I shook him as hard as I could, "HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN?"

"Don't worry, I have a plan!"

I put him down and said, "I'm listening."

"Well, if you can become a death scythe, I will have access to a large quantity of power, and I will be able to protect you from further decay."

"Will I get the years I've lost by that time back?"

"Ummmm…no. Those years are gone for good. Heheheh…sorry?"

I was pissed! I pummeled him in the face over and over.

"Hey! I told you it was risky! I was just shortening the damage! It's better to lose one year then all of them right?"

"I'm still kind of pissed."

"You should be. I understand. But we have to keep going. Were here now, we have to keep heading forward. Become a Death Scythe. Protect the crew! Get lucky with Nami…"

I decked him again. "Shut up about her! You better not try anything…"

He just laughed. "Relax, Ladies-man! What could I do? I'm just the guy living in your head giving you advice. See ya! Remember what I told you!"

He snapped his fingers, and the scene faded to black.

* * *

Once again I woke up with Luffy's face right in my face.

"Luffy…" I muttered.

"Huh? Yeah?" He said ignorantly.

"I'm giving you the count of three to get out of my face before _yours_ becomes a smoldering lump."

"Heheheh…sorry." He smiled and backed away. I sat up and saw the battlefield. The pirates had left nothing but a empty, blood covered beach. Trees were smoldering and huge chunks of the Cliff side were missing (thanks to me). Zoro was sleeping under a tree (ok, I'm getting sick of this. I save him from getting cut and all he does is sleep!?)

"Where's Usopp and Kaya?" I asked.

"They went back to the village together. Usopp was freaking out about her getting cut and all." Luffy said.

"What about Nami? Is she ok?"

"She's back at our ships, making sure her treasure is ok." He said rolling her eyes. I scoffed, and rubbed my chest. It felt like I had a terrible case of heartburn, and my arms were going numb.

"Ugh…that was some fight huh?" I said trying to sound upbeat.

"Oh yeah! That was cool what you did! How ja do that?" He said, his eyes shining.

"It's called Demon Hunter, an attack that hurts everything but good people. It punishes the wicked and…" I sighed because my chest was throbbing really badly.

_This is how it feels to get you soul drained. You'll get used to it, once you used it enough times. _Michael said.

_Great. I've only got about 72 more times to get used to it before I die._

_That's only if you take care of your body and keep your lifespan high. Don't worry, you've got about 80 more years on you, I think._

_Where do you get these numbers, might I ask?_

_Oh, I just make them up to make you feel better. _He chuckled in my brain.

_WHY YOU…_

"Hey, you ok?" Luffy said concerned.

"It's fine. Every time I use Demon Hunter, it drains my soul. Don't worry, it'll wear off eventually."

"Ok!" Luffy said, and hoped away back towards the boats. Ah…innocence. Wait till he grows up. Oh wait…yeah he might not get the chance with all the shit he's gonna do.

Nami came out of the boat, snuggling a large sack of treasure. Probably stole it when no one was looking. Looks like everyone made it out ok.

Wait…where's Kuro's soul? Some one took it!

I heard footsteps and turned around. Usopp was walking back from the village. He looked kind of happy. He was bruised and was holding his arm, but looked a hell of a lot better than if he went up against Jango.

"Thank you. Thank you all, very much!" He said with a big smile on his face.

"Without you guys, I could have never protected the village."

"What are you talking about? If you never did anything, I wouldn't have done anything either." Zoro said.

"Same here!" Luffy chimed in as he plopped onto the ground.

"HEY!" I yelled. "What are you two talking about? I did most of the work! All you did, Zoro, was take out one guy! And Luffy got himself hypnotized!" I was kind of pissed off. Sure, I didn't need to do most of the work, but the point still remains!

"Who cares about all of that? When I got my hands on all their treasure!" Nami gleefully added.

"Oh bullshit!" I said as I collapsed onto the ground.

Luffy laughed out loud. Zoro began laughing too. Just not as loud.

"It's not funny! I've lost a year off of my life from doing an attack like that! Show some decency!"

They calmed down, and Zoro said, "Well, you did good son. You deserve a pat on the back." He said, and started laughing again.

_Ok, I officially hate Zoro now. That guy's been nothing but a pain in my ass._

"Shut the fuck up, shitty swordsman! Keep laughing and you'll find that green head of yours small and crispy!" I formed my gun, and pointed it at him.

"You wanna start something, _boy_? I still owe you for calling me a shit head!"

"If the name fits, ya shithead!" I taunted back.

He unsheathed two of his swords, I formed by gun gloves, we were about to get in range…

-CLONK- -CLONK-

Nami popped out of nowhere, and knocked us both in the head, hard.

"Knock if off! Both of you! What are you, 10 years old?" She yelled in annoyance.

I walked back to where Usopp was, who seemed a little unnerved by our little fight.

"Ummm…It's ok Usopp. Really, we were happy to help." I said, rubbing the whelp forming on my head.

He laughed nervously, and then snapped his fingers. "Oh! Almost forgot!"

He dug around in his bag, and pulled out...Kuro's soul!

"Kaya said she wanted you to have this. She wants all traces of that guy to disappear, so she's giving it to you." He said, looking rather unsettled.

I took it, seemed just like the one before. I swallowed it whole.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM…MMMMMMMMMMMMM…GOOOOOOOOOOD!

I smiled as a warm sensation passed through me, and the pain in my chest subsided. A pulse of light was emitted from my body, and I felt good as new.

I burped. "Ahhhhhh…3 down, and 96 to go!" I said cheerfully.

Usopp was looking out to the ocean.

"You know…everything that happened today made me realize something." He said. He gave a long sigh and walked back to the village.

"So now what?" I asked my crew.

"FOOOOOOOD! MEEEEEAAAT!" Luffy called out.

Good times. Good times are definitely ahead. I smiled, and pointed to the village. "TOOOOO THE NEAREST RESTAURANT!"


	14. Chapter 14

A New Ship and a New Friend

Recruit the Coward: Mission Complete

We were munching down on all the food we could buy. Me and Luffy were neck and neck again, competing who could eat more. Hey, the soul only gives me energy, not fills my belly (if that makes any sense…)

We ended in a draw. Nami forbade us from eating anymore, or she might run dry. We finished after our 10th serving of food. He laughed when Nami complained and was all like, "What was the point of saving the treasure if you go off spending it all?" We laughed until our sides ached, and gave each other a high five. And _yes, _I won't deny a friend a high five. I'm to grown up for that.

Luffy was munching on the bones, and I was wiping my face with my shirt.

_How do you expect to attract Nami when you show such unruly manners?_ Michael asked me.

_I have a question, how could you let me lose a year off my life?_

…_Umm…I'll just be quiet now._

Heheheh…guilt is a bitch huh?

That still won't help the problem. I need 96 more souls to prevent my lifespan from dropping. And what about the witches soul? I need to look into that.

"Say Screaver, what did you do to those people by the way?" Luffy asked me.

"Whenever my gun kills an evil person, their bodies are rendered to their soul forms. This way I can absorb them and their energy."

"You said earlier '3 down, 96 to go,' what does that mean?" Nami asked.

"All Demon Weapons strive to collect 99 of those _dark souls_ in order to become a Death Scythe."

"You mean you'll become a scythe instead of a bazooka?" She asked.

"The name _Death Scythe_ is really just a title. When I achieve the rank of Death Scythe, all my powers will increase 10 fold. I will become much more powerful and get a whole new array of powers and abilities. All the weapons would try, back in the old days, before…" I paused for dramatic effect.

"Before…what?" She asked.

I've got a plan. It's a dirty trick of a plan, but it's really only to get some sympathy from the other guys. "It's nothing…don't worry about it." I said giving a weak smile.

The door to the restaurant opened, and Kaya walked in. She had changed out if her overcoat and nightgown and was wearing a dress and striped shirt. She had a few bandages wrapped around her neck.

"Hello Miss!" Luffy cheerfully said.

"Are you ok to be out of bed?" Nami asked with concern.

"Yes, I'm fine. I think I can finally start recovering from my sickness. You see, my sickness was caused from the mental shock of loosing both my parents. And Usopp's friendship has helped me to start to get better. I can't stay in bed forever you know." She said. She gave us all a sweet smile.

"Well that's great news!" I said cheerfully, as I took another drink. I never drank alcohol before, but I didn't seem to feel drunk, yet.

"How's your neck?" I asked. She gave me a sort of cold look, but it seemed she was trying to be polite.

"It's fine, thank you." She said, not changing her tone. I could see I upset her a bit.

"Look, I'm sorry, if I didn't mean to scare you…but you know I would never…" I started.

"It's fine! Really! I trusted that you wouldn't have. It's still just a shock that he's…" She turned to the side.

"Well, I'm glad that you're not hurt. And I'm sorry for yelling at you like that." I said politely.

"I'm sorry for even considering it. I'm just glad he's gone, and I can get on with my life." She said hopefully. "You all have done so much for me…I can't thank you enough. I've prepared a present for you from the bottom of my heart to show you how grateful I am for everything you've done for me. I would be honored if you accepted it."

* * *

We arrived to a different port, and saw that sheep guy standing in front of a huge ship: The Going Merry. It was just sa cool as it was in the anime, but a lot bigger! The ship was bright and colorful, the mast towered over us, and the goats head was just as…ummm…goaty?

"WOW! A real Caravel!" Nami exclaimed.

"YOU'RE REALLY GIVING THIS TO US?" Luffy exclaimed in excitement.

"As a token of my appreciation." Kaya said cheerfully.

The goat man gave us a lot of info on the ship like _sail _this and _railway_ that and blah blah blah… The only sentence I could understand was, "Her name is the Going Merry!"

"Hey Luffy, look at that Goat Head! That could be your new seat!" I clued him in.

"Yeah! So COOL!" He yelled and stretched up to the boat. Nami went over to that sheep guy and they were talking smart-people stuff. I walked over to Kaya and got an idea.

"This was too much. You didn't have to." I told her.

"Please…It's the least I could do." She said.

"Did you talk to Usopp?" I asked.

"Yes, he says he wants this whole thing a secret so nothing changes." She said.

"I mean…well…he kinda likes you." I said smiling.

"Oh! Well, umm, I don't think that's your business!" She said as she started blushing.

"I don't mean to pry. I'm just saying that you shouldn't leave him without a definite answer."

Speaking of Usopp, I heard him rolling down the hill carrying that huge pack of all his belongings. Since Luffy was already on the ship, I took his place as me and Zoro stopped him from ruining the ship.

-BAM-

Oh…yeah. Foot to face. Not pleasant.

* * *

We got all our equipment and belongings on the ship, as Kaya and Usopp were having one last chat. Now the reason why I was talking to her about him liking her…Well DUH? He so obviously likes her! I just wanted to make sure that they clear the air before they leave for a long time. I'm a nice guy, and he deserves to know. And if it backfires and Usopp becomes depressed…well…ooops.

Fortunately, it seemed to go well for Usopp. Kaya gave him a hug, he hugged back, and she gave his a kiss on the cheek.

_Now, wasn't that nice of me?_

He had a smile on his face, lucky bastard, and called to us, "I hope we meet again sometime!"

"Huh, how come?" Luffy asked.

"Uhh, well, I'm going to go out into the open sea! And I hope we will see each other again!"

"What are you talking about? Get up here." Zoro said pointing to the boat.

Usopp gasped.

"Were friends right? So get on." Luffy told him.

Usopp freaked out. His expression changed from startled, to happy, and then he leaped up and announced, "I'M FINALLY A PIRATE CAPTAIN!"

"DON'T BE STUPID! I'M CAPTAIN!" Luffy responded. We all laughed. Usopp boarded the ship as we sailed off into the horizon.

After getting a little ways away from the island, Luffy pulled out a barrel of green drink. I had no clue what the hell kind of drink it was, but since we were all in the mood for a cheer, I decided not to ask.

"CHEERS TO A NEW SHIP AND A NEW CREWMATE!" Luffy yelled, holding up his mug.

"KAMPAI!"


	15. Chapter 15

Another Night Aboard

Michael Gives Me More...Advice

"Ahhhhhhh…what a long, boring night." I said to myself.

It had been several days since we left…Syrup Village I think it was called. I don't remember, it's not that important. I was watching the water for any signs of danger. And it was so boooooooriiiiiiing!

I couldn't pass the time and I couldn't sleep. For the past few days, I have been sleeping in the crows nest, and became the new…watchman…lookout…person…guy? I don't know. I was staring at the stars, the ocean, then my own fucking hand! Maybe I spontaneously got high without my knowledge. Nah…

I couldn't even sing! Well, it was kind of my fault. You see, when I sing, I only sing really loud. And apparently, waking a sleeping Zoro and temperamental Nami would cause too many bruises on my ass. So, I had to try to sing quietly, which was no fun at all.

_MIIf I were you, I would be training._ Michael said out of nowhere, kind of startled me.

_What do you mean? Don't I loose part of my soul when I fight?_

_No no no! That's only when you enter Soul Resonance with…yourself. I meant you should still be adjusting to your new strength._

_You mind explaining?_

_Look, I told you before. All your strengths, skills, and abilities in the real world are over exaggerated in this world. You 5 times stronger, 5 times faster, 5 times more experienced. I would think you should be practicing and exploring all the possible attacks you can do now._

_But I'm tiiiiiiiired…_

_No your not! And your no doing anything else, so why the heck not?_

_God! Fine!_

I hopped from the crows nest, and of all things, missed the rope. I was falling from almost a story or two, and I landed on my feet.

-THUD-

I was ok. On my feet, no problems. My feet weren't even a little sore. Good that my bones didn't pierce though my skin or something.

I walked to the center of the deck. I really didn't know what to do.

_You need some help?_ Michael snidely asked.

_Oh would you?_ I said sarcastically.

"Ok!" Michael said out loud.

Wait…Michael is standing right in front of me…And I'm not asleep.

"WHOH! WHAT THE FUCK?" I jumped back. Michael just smiled. He first cracked his knuckles and turned around. He then removed his hat, glasses, and business jacket. He loosened his tie.

"Wait! Wait! What are you doing here?" I said still shocked.

"You need a sparing partner, and I'm here to oblige." He said, not changing his tone.

"Well…how did you get here? What will Luffy and the others…"

"Relax. This form is only temporary. Just for when you need a fighting partner and no ones around. Once the sun comes up and the others wake up, I'll disappear again, back into your little head so I can continue nagging at you." He said and smiled at his little 'joke.'

"You know, I'm going to release almost 19 years of pent up aggression to every stupid, snide comment you've given me, right?" I said, cracking my knuckles.

"Wouldn't have it any other way, Screaver." He said. He held up his fist shouting, "Let's get it ON!"

* * *

We spent the next few hours sparring. Nothing but sparring. He was pretty damn good, got me several times in the chest and back. But I wasn't using my guns, and he was…God knows what the hell he was. He used some sort of karate style fighting, using chopping motions and fancy footwork. My boxing skills were pretty good, but he clearly had more experience. He was mostly defending, with the occasional chop or kick to keep me going.

The sun had begun to creep up over the horizon, and he stopped.

"Whoo! Well I think that's enough for the day, don't you agree Screaver?" He said, blocking my last punch. I recoiled my fist, and collapsed on the ground. I was covered in sweat, my arms were sore, but I felt like I really accomplished some things. I learned that if I try, I could punch as fast as a bullet. And I think with a little practice, I can master a whole set of moves that won't need my guns. I was tired, but happy.

"_huff…huff_…Thank_…huff…huff_…you_…huff_…Michael!" I struggled to say. He didn't have a bead of sweat on him. He picked up his things and got dressed again.

"You know…_huff…_I think I know…_huff…_what you are." I said.

He straitened his hat and scoffed, "_tch!_ Oh really? And what, might I ask, may that be?" He said sarcastically.

"Well…I don't know what you are exactly…but this is what I'm going to call you from now on."

"Ok Screaver, I'll bite. Fire away." He said, still with a hint of sarcasm.

"A Guardian Angel. That is my guess to what you are." I said.

He paused for a moment. "In a way, yes, I could be considered that." He said finally.

"Well, I'm just saying, with all the stuff you've done to help me and the whole deal with my fate and your name is Michael, like the archangel, and…"

I'm catholic, and I was confirmed under Michael. That's how I know the name Michael as an archangel. It's not like I go reaserching this stuff on google or something.

"Look Screaver. You can call me what ever you like. Yes, I may seem to protect you from a whole lot of things. But what you need to know is…well…my job is to help you along in anyway I can, but I cannot protect you from danger."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I _mean_ that if you get into a life-threatening situation, I can't protect you. I'm not God. I can't stop death or bring you back from dying. You die, that's it! I'm sorry, I just what you to know this, so you don't get so dependent on me and…"

I knocked him upside the head. He didn't seem to register the hit, but I just smiled and said, "What do you got to be sorry for? Of course I know you're not God. Hell, if you were, I would tell you to make me Pirate King and have Nami as my wife." I said laughing.

"That's it? Just wife? I though you would make her your slave or something perverted…"

I hit him again. Still no response out of him, but it was enough to stop him from continuing the thought. "What the fuck do you take me for?" I said annoyed.

Michael seemed amused by this, and laughed. He straightened his tie, put on his glasses, and stepped out to the railing.

"You're on a long and dangerous path, Screaver. I know this is going to sound corny but, you will face a lot of bad people, whom all will try and kill you and those you care about. You might face overwhelming odds and get seriously injured, maybe even get killed. But you're going to meet a lot of good people, and…I hope that by the end of this journey, you will have everything you could ever want. I really do, Screaver. Just please, for both our sakes, try to not get yourself killed."

"Wow…your right, that speech was corny."

"I'm being serious!" He complained.

"Yeah yeah. And I'm sure that at the end of this _path_, you will be with me, in my head, giving me all sorts of friendly advice."

"Wouldn't have it any other way, Screaver." He smiled and as the sun rose up, his body started to fade.

"Now, I'm going to take a nap, so don't bug me until the next saga starts, ok?"

I nodded.

"Good! I haven't had a workout like this in centuries!" He cheered.

_Wait, what?_

"_Yawn…_Good night!" And with that, he faded away in a flash of blue light.


	16. Chapter 16

An Unnessesary Fight

Mission Start: Recruit the Pervert

Another few days passed by. No one ask me why I was all sweaty and out of breath that morning, thank God.

We painted Luffy's pirate flag and sail. Usopp really is a good artist! He ask me for help painting it on the sail; we got it done in record time. You see my dad use to paint apartments for a living, so he taught me a few things. Seemed a lot happier painting. Too bad he quit for that engineering thingy and got that stick up his ass...sorry getting off topic.

We were eating well, I suppose, if you count getting charged for eating every meal by the chef. I don't want to owe Nami anymore money than I owe her already, but I had to eat! She said she would just "add it to my debt." Money-grubbing, backstabbing, incredibly attractive...bitch. Oh why must I be smitten by her so? (What? What? I read...at least they made us read Shakespeare in High School...shut up.)

Usopp, Luffy and I would also play cards from time to time. Usopp would always win. Blackjack, Poker, he would win everytime. Until I realized that Usopp was stacking the cards to get the best hand every damn time! After that I decided to play a game that I like to call _bitch give me my money_!

What? Too offensive?

I also began to remind myself the plot and details to the next saga. If I forget a certain detail or plot point, I may cause more harm than help when the situation demands it.

A daily routine for us: Luffy would be fishing, Usopp would be fiddling with his gadgets, Zoro would be either sleeping or yelling at us for being stupid, and Nami would be in...that place that is considered near the door to the ship. A platform? Galley? Poop-deck? I don't know! I don't know anything about boats!

We would pump clean water so we could bathe and go to the bathroom. And by that I mean _we_, the boys, would pump clean water, _manually_, for Nami to bathe and got to the bathroom, not us. I think the pirate term is, "Damn man, I be stinkin sumthin fierce!"

Or something along those lines. You know it's funny that I actually use to own a pirate book that taught you how to speak pirate! Got it as a joke gift from my folks. It had pirate slang, pirate charts, telling the difference between a Caribbean and a Pacific pirate. But it won't help much in _this_ pirate world, will it?

Anyway, I found myself watching Usopp and Luffy trying to mess around with the cannon on the main deck.

"Luffy, Usopp, what are you to doing?" I asked, uninterested.

"Were going to make this cannon work!" Luffy responded cheerfully.

"Yes! And I shall show you the skills of the great, Captain Usopp!" Usopp proclaimed.

"Mmmhm, yeah, sounds interesting. Don't go killing anyone now." I said tiredly. I wandered over to the opposite spot Zoro was having his mid afternoon nap, and collapsed. I hadn't been getting that much sleep, since I've been trying to master my new techniques. It hasn't been easy since Michael stopped…doing anything? Seriously, I think he's actually asleep somewhere inside my head. Now it's my turn to take a nap.

* * *

-BOOM-

-CRASH-

"WHOA! What?" I was thrown out of my nap. After I looked to find the source of the sound, it turned out to be Luffy and Usopp prancing around about blowing up a stupid rock with the cannon. Why was I not suprised?

"That was great Usopp, you get to be our sniper!" Luffy said.

"What? You mean I can't be captain?" Usopp complained.

"I'm captain!" Luffy protested.

I smacked my forehead in annoyance. I just decided to ignore them. I will get a good rest, right now!

Nah, maybe later. I stood up and walked inside. Everyone else was sitting at the table talking about stuff I wasn't paying attention to. I opened the fridge and looked for a soda, out of habit. When I realized that _I'm not in Texas anymore_ I closed the fridge and turned on the sink. I scooped some water in my hand and splashed it on my face to wake me up.

"Hey guys, before we go out to the Grand Line, there's one last thing we need." Luffy said.

"What's that Luffy?" Usopp asked him.

"We need...a musician!" He cheered. Nami groaned in annoyance as Luffy kept going on about getting a musician.

"HEY!" I barked. Luffy and Usopp stopped and turned to face me.

"Here's a bright idea. Why not get...a cook. A good cook. One who, oh I don't know, won't charge us for every meal he or _she_ makes." I said eyeing Nami.

"Hey!" Nami said defensively. "My prices were fair."

"_tch_. You would have owned my soul before to long with those prices." I joked.

"He's right though, we do need an experienced chef in order to make it out in the Grand Line." Zoro added in, still half asleep.

"Well, when you decide on what to do next, I think I'll take a little nap in the crow's nest. Wake me when something interesting happens." I yawned and headed out the door.

"What? Your going to sleep now?" Nami complained.

"Yes." And I left them to there discussion.

* * *

-BOOM-

-CRASH-

"GOD DAMN IT USOPP! SHUT THAT DAMN CANNON OFF!"

It wasn't Usopp as I quickly discovered. I looked to the side and saw a huge, fish shaped boat. It was decked out like a cruise liner, with a huge fish head and fins with fancy railing and all that other stuff. It was, undoubtedly, the Baratie.

I looked to the other side and saw the Marine ship that belonged to that Iron-Fist douche. I also noticed a new, smoldering hole in the roof of the Baratie, but it took me a while to see it. I guess I'm still half asleep. So sleepy that a leaned out too far, and fell out of the damn crows nest!

-THUD-

"I'm...I'm ok. I'm just kinda tired." I said. I didn't even know if anyone was listening, I just started talking. I just stuck my hand up and snapped it into a thumbs up.

"Whoa…Do you guys see that ship? It has those...and the...with the...fish head."

Ok...I apologize. I'm kinda out of it when I wake up. Most of the time. I was on the deck sitting on my ass. I looked behind me and saw Zoro, Usopp, Nami, and two weirdos starring at me like I fell from the...oh yeah...I kinda did. Hehehehe.

"Who are you two?" I asked, still sounding like I was drunk.

"Ummm…I'm Bounty Hunter Johnny!" The black haired one said.

"I'm Bounty Hunter Yozaku!" The one wearing the red helmet said.

I shook my head hard. Ok, I'm good. I stood up and cracked my head, straightened my shirt, and said, "Man oh man I'm am HUNGRY! Let's go inside and find some foooooooooooood!" I cheered and headed for the restaurant.

* * *

With in the hour we were feasting on delicious, gourmet food. I mean, it wasn't anything compared to the taste of a Dark Soul, but man oh MAN was it good. I was eating a lot politer than when Luffy was around, because my mom would beat those manners into my head whenever we went to a restaurant like this (which happened a lot.)

'Wait a minute…Where's Luffy?" I asked swallowing my 4th plate.

"Don't know where that idiot went." Zoro said drinking his 5th beer or sake or whatever it's called. Alcohol. He's drinkin alcohol.

"He better get back here soon or...Well speak of the devil!" I said.

Luffy rushed over to our table, looking rather angry.

"What the hell? You go off and eat food without me?" He yelled in anger.

"Nice to eat most of the food for a change, huh Luffy?" Usopp said and we all busted out in laughter. It was really funny watching Luffy pick his nose, put a booger in Zoro's glass…and then Zoro shoved the water down his throat and we all howled with laughter. Usopp was smacking the table. Zoro was smirking as he released Luffy from his grasp. I was crying watching Luffy spit out the water. Nami was right next to us, laughing as well.

"Oh thank you ocean for sharing this treasure from your depths."

Oh shit. Here it comes (not like that!). I stopped laughing and looked right next to me.

Sanji, our future cook, was on his knee trying to _woo_ Nami with a rose and cheesy pick-up line. Good grief.

He had blonde hair, a nice suit on, and one of those smiles that _really _unsettled me.

_Don't antagonize him._ Michael said out of know where.

_WHOA! When did you wake up?_

_A few minutes ago. Now listen, you already got on Zoro's bad side, you don't need to deal with both of them as your rivals._

_I'm sorry, but, who are you to stop me from getting into fights for no good reason?_

_Ugh...just remember that I warned you._

Sanji was trying to be as smooth as he could, even got close to Nami's face. Oh HEEEEEELL NO! SHE BE MIIIIIEEEEN!

I was already giving him the evil glare, and he picked up on the signal. He dropped his smile, and gave me a dirty look.

"Do you have a problem, sir?" He said.

"I'm sorry…" I said containing my anger, "But I would appreciate it if you would stop harassing my crew mate, please." I said politely.

"The lady is free to accept my love if she wants." He said.

"Ok…seriously…Who said she would ever accept you're so called _love_ in the first place." I was loosing my temper.

"Listen shithead, if you want to order something as someone else, I'm busy at the moment." He said, getting more intense.

A vain popped out of my head as I said, "I would prefer to not call me that. I'm trying to be reasonable, no reason to get so worked up." I said.

"Hey! I am a knight of love! And you are interfering with my message of _love_, SHITHEAD!"

-BAM-

Sanji went flying across the room, and smashed into a table. I stood up, cracked my knuckles, and yelled, "HOW ABOUT I SEND YOU MESSAGE! BITCH GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE! ASSHOLE!"

Don't ask. I'm kinda stupid like that.

Sanji got up from the table, and lit his cigarette. All the people were frightened and staring at me. Usopp was cowering under the table, Zoro didn't change, except for a slight smile was on his face. Nami complained, "Stop Screaver! He was going to let me eat for free!"

Typical Nami. I put up my fists.

"I will protect this restaurant from no good shitheads like you. You think you can beat me? Shithead?"

"Bring it Perv." I said, and I charged.


	17. Chapter 17

A Pointless Fight

Get a Real Job Screaver Bartel

I darted across the floor and planned to close line the bastard. He duck, and tried to do a leg sweep, but I jumped up as well. I slipped into my boxer stance, and gave him a 12 hit combo, but he blocked them with his leg. He gave a high kick right to my face, would have broken my bones if I hadn't blocked with my bazooka.

"A Devil Fruit user huh?" He said inhaling his cigarette.

"Nope. You're not even worth the ammo." I replied, and gave him one of my bullet punches. I caught him by surprise, and hit him square in the chest. He was sent back a few meters, but was still on his feet. Everyone was muttering and gasping about me having a devil fruit power.

_It's not! It's a extent of my imagination that has manifested into an actual physical form powered by my soul wavelength..._

_...It's not a devil fruit!_

He darted close to me, and kicked upwards. My reflexes were able to steer me out of the way of his kick, but he soon followed up with bringing his foot down on my shoulder. It collided, sending me into the ground. The floor cracked, but I didn't feel that bad. It hurt a little bit.

His foot was grounding me into the floor, when I grabbed onto his foot and pushed off. I got up to my feet and flung him into the wall, releasing him so he flew quite a distance. He slammed into the wall, but slammed on his feet. He jumped off the wall and landed back on the ground.

"You're not half bad, for a shithead." Sanji said.

"I'm just getting started, Perv." I said evilly.

-BAM-

I was knocked in the back of the head with something made of wood. I rolled to the side and looked behind me, sheathing my guns (I call it sheathing when I make them disappear.) I saw an old, blonde man with a pigtail beard and a HUGE white hat. I mean it was touching the freaking ceiling.

"Damn it, stop tearing up my restaurant!" He shouted.

"ME? That perv over there started the whole thing!" I retaliated. I sounded like a ten year old…not a good thought.

"HEY! LEAVE SCREAVER ALONE!" Luffy yelled with anger.

"Wasn't it you who threw the first punch? Therefore you have to pay back for all the damage you caused." The old man said holding out his hand.

"I already owe one cheapskate money for crap I didn't mean to do. I don't need another!" I said, pushing his hand away. I heard Nami mutter something about that statement.

"Well then you're going to work here until you pay off your debt to me. Sound fair?"

"NO!"

"I think a year will suffice. You will work here for a year until you pay off every chair, table, and chunk of wall to damaged. Come on, Chore-boy." He said, grabbing me by the neck. I grabbed his hand and make him let go.

"All you had to do was ask ya old fart. And my name is SCREAVER! Not CHORE-BOY!"

I think that's going to be my new catchphrase. Kinda stupid, but hey, it's working for me (I think.)

* * *

So I ended up working for that old man right next to Luffy.

I would take out trash, clean dishes, sweep...not much different then my other jobs as well.

I mean I took out trash and swept as a stage manager in school, and I had to clean the kitchen every night at home, so it seemed easy at first. However, I was taking out the trash of dozens of people, cleaning hundreds of places instead of only a couple, and the first deck of the ship was already three the size of that stage I had back in Julian High.

Luffy would kinda screw everything up, so I told him I got this, so I did his share of the work too.

Naturally, I did just fine.

Thanks to Nami flirting with Sanji (man it REALLY pisses me off to say that) she was able to score free meals at the restaurant until our year was up. For the other guys however, I didn't know. And I know we won't be here for a whole freaking year, we have better places to be.

I'll be honest with you...If I was going to die in this world anyway...I want it to at least happen after the Arabasta arc. Why do you ask? Simple...hehehe...I'm gonna get to see Nami flashing her breasts in the giant bath! After that, I can die peacefully. I guess you can call it...a personal goal in mind...

...Please ignore what I just said and let's continue.

I only need to wait another day or two and then that Krieg guy will show up, Zoro will get cut by Hawkeye, and we will be on our way to...

Arlong...Nami's village.

HOLY SHIT! I FORGOT!

Do I really want Nami to suffer through all that? Should I talk to her? What...

Save it. Let nature take its course. I will pretend not to know, play it by the book. Or manga if you think about it.

* * *

I was sweeping the floor of the restaurant, watching Nami sweet talk her way into a fresh fruit cup from Sanji. Ugh...Why must she be so beautiful?

Usopp was arguing with him about Sanji giving him the cold treatment, I heard Usopp trying to get Zoro to attack, he declined, and...Luffy was just sitting on his lazy ass drinking tea with them?

I was close to breaking the damn broomstick in two, but Sanji kicked him up side the head and dragged him back to the kitchen. He passed by me, gave me a disrespectful look, and left.

I was going to say something bad about him and his mother (or what lack there of) but I kept quiet. I know when to shut up.

* * *

Four days past, same old shit passed. I was getting into the swing of things. Waking up at the crack of dawn, sweeping, cleaning dishes, took out afternoon trash, sweep inside, cleaning off tables as I went. I was so damn BORED! I even rebuilt most of the giant hole in the ship Luffy caused. A few other people helped, but it was mostly me. Luffy was of no help, Nami was just buttering up Sanji every fucking day, Zoro would just drink his sake and glance at me with eyes of pity, and Usopp...surprisingly tried to talk to me when I would pass by.

"You ok Screaver? You don't look well." He would say. Sometimes he would try and cheer me up, but I acted and looked kind of depressed. I wouldn't say anything, my eyes were getting rings under them, my hair was getting messy, I wouldn't even bathe. Was I depressed?

Nah, that's just how I act when I'm bored. I mean it was doable work, not difficult, but it would exhaust me at the end of the day. And on only six hours of sleep, when I normally get ten a day, and got little food on a short fifteen minute break, I wasn't working on a full tank of gas.

I walked out to the deck. It was really foggy, like my head at the moment. I had a bucket in hand with a old mop. I started to mop, but then I looked out pass the railing. I stopped mopping, and looked out. I couldn't see a damn thing, but the sight of the outside seemed to calm me. I looked around, no one was there as far as I could see, and…what else…sang. I sang the Japanese version this time because, hey, why the hell not?

_Come aboard, and bring along  
All your hopes and dreams  
Together we will find everything  
That we're looking for_

_ONE PIECE!_

_Compass left behind  
It'll only slow us down  
Your heart will be your guide  
Raise the sails, and take the helm_

_That legendary place  
That the end of the map reveals  
Is only legendary  
'Till someone proves it real_

I felt good to sing out loud again. Being on that ship was making me depressed. After the song, I cracked my neck a few times and smiled slightly. I was still tired, but I felt a little more relaxed now. I started mopping again.

"tch, Show off." I heard a voice say. _Oh god not again!_

I glanced up and saw…ugh…Sanji staring at me through the door way. He had a cigarette in hand and walked out to the railing. He let out a huge mouthful of smoke, and I covering my mouth as I coughed. I'm actually allergic to tobacco. Seriously, I'm anywhere near a smoking guy for to long I get wheezy and I start coughing. May be a problem down the road but I have no choice in this matter do I?

A few seconds of silence and he said, "What? No comment?"

I was still moping, trying to ignore him. He got closer to me, blowing a little smoke near me.

"What the hell happened to you? One day you were ready to kick my ass, and now your acting all quiet?"

I gave him no response.

"Answer me damn it! Don't ignore me!" He knocked the mop out of my hands. I looked at him slowly.

I said in a mumbled tone, "I'm just doing all I can to get off this boat. I've been doing my captain's share as well since he's completely useless. If I only did my share and let him ruin everything else, this ship would loose business. And I don't want to ruin this ship more than I already did."

He seemed stunned. I was using this tone to throw him off. Deep down I still wanted to punch him.

Sanji seemed to think for a moment and said, "Well, that guy is pretty useless. Can't argue with that."

I let out a long yawn and said, "Well, I'm almost dodne here. I think I'll take a short nap before..."

I was cut off as something cut through the fog.

Sanji looked up in awe, almost dropping his cigarette. "What...is that?"

A huge, evil looking ship was towering over the Baratie with pirate flags hanging on it. And I mean TOWERING! Like 1o stories high. It looked pretty beat up too, I was surprised it was even sailing in it's condition.

_Krieg is here._ Michael said.

_No shit Sherlock._


	18. Chapter 18

Meeting the Pirate Commodore

I Make a Promise and...Where's Nami Going Again?

"Come on, Let's go inside. We'll deal with him later." Sanji said, and he let me into the kitchen.

We walked to the kitchen were he gave me a full course plate of seafood, salad, and noodles that looked, smelled, and tasted heavenly.

"To think it's been almost a week since I had this last." I said, and I munched down the plate in less than 5 minutes.

"Thank you Sanji." I said, and walked over to wash my plate. He stopped me.

"You've done enough. Come on, looks like we have a new customer." He said and we walked down the stairs.

* * *

Don Krieg was at the front door, leaning on Gin. He was a pretty tall dude, wearing a concussion band around his head. I knew he was going to betray us _if_ we gave him food, but he still looked pretty damn pathetic begging for food.

Sanji stared at him and headed back to the kitchen. I looked around and saw all those rich snobbish people staring at him.

I liked making jokes with those kind of people by saying in a British accent, _BONJOV! Who let those RAVING rapscallions into OUR restaurant? Ahem hem mmmmmmm_ and then pretend to drink some tea.

It's a visual joke, people.

Everyone of course refused. That Popeye looking cook even laughed at Krieg. Under a different circumstance I would have too, but Krieg was begging for scraps. Kinda pissed me off how he was going through all that embarrassment just so he can betray us. Bastard.

Sure enough though, Sanji walked down the steps, holding a bowl of mixed food and a bottle of wine. He kicked Popeye Jr in the face and walked to Krieg.

He placed the meal at his feet.

"Here's something for you captain." He told Gin.

Krieg took handfuls of food to his mouth at a time. Everyone was staring in terror at what he did.

One of the other chefs ran out saying, "Dimwit! Get that food away from him!"

He then went on and on about Krieg fighting dirty and how he uses white flags, marine vessels, hostages, etc. to ensure victory. Didn't matter to Sanji though. If a man's starving, Sanji will stop it.

Unsurprisingly, Krieg finish his meal and hit Sanji hard, sending him to the ground.

-BAM-

All the other customers ran for it in the opposite direction. Gin was shocked and tried to tell his captain something, but Krieg just picked him up and almost broke his arm.

Krieg told all the cooks to prepare food for all his other men, but they all refuse.

"I'm not placing an order, I'm giving one! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? DO NOT DEFY MEEEEE!" He bellowed. All the cooks jumped back and cowered at him.

I however, laughed.

"What are you laughing at, wretched cook?" I guess he addressed at me.

"I just though of something funny. What you just did to Sanji…Don't customers give out tips anymore? Hehehe!" I chuckled. Everyone was staring at me. Awkward silence.

"Oh come on! That's a funny joke!" I said.

"ENOUGH! PREPERE THE FOOD FOR MY MEN!" He bellowed again. Still didn't affect me.

Sanji stood up, and headed back to the kitchen. When all the other chefs understood this, they surrounded him with big knifes, pots, and pitch forks.

Sanji then explained how he is just a cook, who's duty is just to feed a hungry person, no more no less.

"That may be true Sanji, but what about the other chef's duty." I said to him.

He looked up at me.

"A chef must secure the well being of his kitchen and his restaurant, right? If you feed those pirates, you will ensure the destruction of your restaurant."

He seemed to think about this, the other chefs were trying to agree with me and tell him to stop.

"My main goal is to end starvation first; I will not let another person starve to death if I can help it!" He said with determination.

_Oh well, at least I tried._

Popeye Jr hit Sanji in the head and knocked him down. He told Sanji he was wrong in this situation and then pulled out…a fucking huge shrimp shaped gun!

"Eat this…MEATBALL OF DOOM!"

-KABOOM-

A huge explosion filled the room with smoke.

The smoke covered everything but a small part where Krieg's eyes were glaring. I don't know how that's possible…but it freaked me the fuck out!

"Are you a chef, or a comedian? Because you jokes are lame. And the dessert was TERRIBLE!"

He whipped out all his guns and golden armor and pumped the cooks full of lead.

Almost got me to if I hadn't leaped from the stairs. He was coated in golden armor that shown in the sunlight that poked through the dust. He had like 8 guns mounted on his armor. He also pulled of his glove to show his diamond covered fist (Kanye West would be jealous.)

He started yelling about his armor, and weapons, and his fucking record, and blah blah blah, all I could hear was, "AABADABADAD! ABADABADAD!ABADAD! HARLUM GLOB TRODDERS!"

Once again, references.

-THUD-

The head chef, Zeff, put a huge sack of food right in front of Krieg.

"This is about 100 meals. Get them to your men right away."

Krieg was stunned. He looked at Zeff's face. He bagan to sweat.

As Zeff turned around, Krieg said, "So you are alive? You...You're Red Foot Zeff, the fabled pirate captain who was also the ship's cook."

Zeff turned around and said, "Yes, I am alive. But what does that have to do with you? I haven't been a pirate for many years now. I chose the life of a cook!"

Krieg busted out with laughter. After he calmed down he said, "Chose the life of a cook? Yeah right!"

He looked a Zeff's peg leg and an evil smile formed on his face. "You live as a cook because all you have left to _be_ now is a cook!"

Krieg told everyone how Zeff used to be known as Red Foot Zeff, a strong pirate who was a master at throwing deadly and precise kicks. He said how his kicks could turn rocks into dust and could put footprints in steel, how his feet turned red from the blood of his foes.

He spoke about the rumor that was given about him of that _tragic _accident that claimed his leg, and said a lot of other stuff that I didn't care about because I KNOW THIS ALREADY!

"You should have a log book about your journeys out on the Grand Line, a full years worth of your tactics. Give it to me, NOW!" Krieg finally said, and he beat his chest. His diamond coated fist reflected light in my eye, which pissed me off.

Zeff refused of course, and Krieg seemed furious. "With that log book I'll form another pirate fleet, and seize the legendary One Piece. Then I WILL RULE THIS GREAT PIRATE ERA!" He yelled.

I laughed. Loudly. Krieg's face seemed to turn a shade of red and looked at me. "YOU AGAIN! WHAT'S SO DAMN FUNNY?"

I kept laughing, and I wiped my eye. Everyone was watching me, which made me feel awkward.

"You won't be ruling jack-shit! Let alone the great pirate era!" I said.

All the chefs were muttering about me, Luffy didn't move.

"Oh you think so?" Krieg said, "And I suspect YOU will become the pirate king instead? Is that right?" He said, getting ready to attack me.

"Nope!" I said cheerfully.

Everyone was stunned, even Krieg was thinking WTF? I stood up, walked over to Luffy, and pointed at him.

I announced, "This man right here, Monkey D. Luffy, will find One Piece! And become the King of the Pirates!"

All the chefs' mouths dropped. Zeff didn't seem to change. Sanji was stunned. Krieg was getting angrier. Gin was still on the ground.

"That's right! I'm going to be King of the Pirates!" Luffy declared, and confronted Krieg.

"This isn't a game! I don't appreciate your smart ass remarks you cocky brats!" Krieg retaliated.

"We know that, Gold Finger! We are going to conquer the Grand Line, find One Piece, and I personally will make this man King!" I said as I patted Luffy on the head like a dog.

"Hey! Quit that!" He whined and swatted my hand away.

I chuckled. "Because that is the duty of a crew member! To follow his captain!"

Krieg pulled out his guns, ready to fire. Luffy whirled up his fists; I slipped into my boxer stance. I was ready to kick his ass.

"Hey! Need some help their Captain?" I heard Zoro call out. He and Usopp were on the stairway, Zoro with his sword partially drawn, Usopp cowering.

"No were good!" I said back to him.

"Ok, we are very powerful fighters but if you want us to sit out…" Usopp said sheepishly until Zoro called him a weirdo and smacked his upside the head.

Krieg sneered and sheathed his guns. He picked up his food, threatening us one last time before he left the restaurant. Gin was still cowering. He apologized to Sanji again.

All the other cooks were blaming Sanji for this mess. Zeff told them all off.

"The difference between you all and Sanji, is that he knows what it's like to go starving."

They all were questioning this, and seemed distracted.

"I for one will stay and fight!" Popeye Jr. said.

The others hoisted their weapons and agreed.

"Are you all crazy? You saw how strong Don is right!" Gin tried to warn us.

"Relax. We have the future Pirate King and his crew on our side." I said smiling. "I think were good."

Luffy asked Gin about the Grand Line, and Gin told us how is 50 ship fleet was destroyed by one guy. Everyone flipped out, even Zoro looked startled.

I didn't change, which turned some heads.

"Sounds like you had a run in with Hawkeye Mihawk." I said bluntly. Everyone flipped out about what I said, like I was...oh how can I put this... Like I was in Harry Potter world and said _Voldemort can suck my dick!_

Zoro looked completely terrified. His eyes were wide. He was at the edge of completely loosing it. He kept repeating his name.

Zeff confirmed my guess. He was explaining to everyone about Hawkeye, while Luffy was looking at Zoro sweating and shaking.

"Hey Zoro, did I say something wrong?" I said to him.

He shocked out of his freak out and told us about his dream, his rival, and then got called stupid by Sanji.

"I made this choice, so I'm the only one who gets to call me stupid." He said back at him.

"I don't even think that makes sense Zoro." I told him.

"Whatever." He said back.

I instinctively darted outside.

"Hey Screaver, where are you going?" Luffy called out at me.

_Nami._

* * *

I made it outside, where our ship was. I hid behind a pillar so whoever was on the ship couldn't see me, but I could see them. I peeked out and saw the two bounty hunter guys facing the opposite direction. They had big smiles on their faces. Nami pushed them both off the ship just as they were about to sneak a peak at her changing. Can you blame them?

They fell off the Merry Go and Nami waved back at them. This was when I quickly went out to the side of the Baratie and looked at her. The ship was too far away for me to jump, ant the Baratie was too high up for me to jump off and swim to the Merry. I just stared at her, coldly.

She was chuckling to herself until she finally saw me.

She stopped dead in her tracks. Her face was dark. Here eyes were wide. Terror was written across her face.

_Hey, I'll mess with her. Why not?_

I continued to stare at her, and then I pointed my gun at her.

Her eys grew wide in fear. Before I could do anything else, I heard a massive explosion and the ship seemed to capsize. I kept my balance, and then I sheathed my bazooka. I then pointed my finger at her. She was still scared out of her mind, but I walked calmly back inside to find a rope.

* * *

I came back outside and saw those bounty bros swimming in the water. I called to them and let down the rope. They grabbed on and I pulled them both up. Seemed relatively easy.

"Thanks Big Bro Screaver! Nami! She stole the boat!" They were cowering and apologizing.

I told them to shut up and then said, "Come on, we have a Warlord and a Pirate Commodore to deal with first."


	19. Chapter 19

Zoro Fights

Zoro Loses...What? You know It's True!

I told the two to go to Luffy and explain the situation while I stayed behind to prepare something. I had been practicing a special move for a while that I hadn't gotten use to yet.

It was back from when after I faced that pussy foot, Kuro. I was trying to use that move of his as my own. I mean I ate his soul, shouldn't I be able to use his move as well.

Actually it wasn't exactly his move. In his Pussyfoot he did some sort of river stomp dance in order to move quickly. My version was like a double step, but wouldn't last as long as I had hoped. His moved lasted almost 10 seconds (I counted.) My move only lasted about 3-4 seconds, not what I hoped.

My feet just took to long to tap the ground. I needed to make my feet tap the ground almost instantly. But the way feet are designed make my move not as effective.

All I had to do was double tap my feet, and the world seemed to slow down. I could jump from place to place, however not that far seeing I couldn't go that far in just 3 seconds.

I'll have to figure it out later; Mihawk was probably already fighting Zoro by now. I rushed back thought the ship to the entrance.

Sure enough, I stepped in just as Zoro's attack was blocked by that pocket knife Mihawk kept around his neck. Zoro looked completely stunned. Everyone was awestruck. Even me.

Zoro then released a large series of sword slashes; Mihawk deflected each and every one. He was furious, which was messing up his concentration.

"Damn it Zoro! FOCUS! DON'T LET HIM MAKE YOU ANGRY! CHILL OUT!" I yelled at him.

I don't know if he heard me, but he just kept at it. Everyone seemed to recognize that I was here finally, at least the cooks did.

Mihawk finally gave one chop to Zoro's neck and he went down. He got back up, dizzy from getting hit so hard, and missed another strike. He tried to attack again but Mihawk stabbed him in the chest.

They shared some dialog and then Mihawk drew his sword. They faced each other, unleashed their strongest attacks.

-SLICE-

I could hear the attack from several meters away. Zoro's katana broke and his chest was sliced open.

He sheathed his final sword, and he held out his arms.

"Scars on the back is a swordsman's shame." He stated.

-SLICE-

The black blade cut a huge cut in Zoro's chest, and it exploded with blood.

"ZOOOOOOOOOOOROOOOOO!" Luffy screamed in terror.

"SHIT!" I yelled as well.

Zoro fell into the water. Luffy launched himself at Mihawk while I dove into the water to save him.

I dove as deep as I could to find him. I pulled him up along with his sword. I saw Luffy trying to hit Mihawk. I pulled him to the part of the broken ship where he fell and tried to catch my breath. After that, I felt…really pissed off? I mean, yeah, I knew he would lose but…

That Mihawk is a Grade A asshole! And I really wanted to hit him.

"LISTEN YOU HAWKEYED SACK OF SHIT!" I yelled at him.

He slowly turned to me and tried to intimidate me. Didn't work. My eyes were just as intense as his.

He began to say, "If you're angry about me hurting your crewmate, he's not dead…"

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! I DON'T LIKE YOU…PEIROD! WHAT YOU DID WAS AN INSULT TO THE GUY WHO'S GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS AND TAKE YOUR TITLE! AND NOW YOU JUST TREATED THE FUTURE KING OF THE PIRATES LIKE SOME DUMB KID! DON'T TREAT US LIKE SOME GROUP OF STUPID KIDS YOUR COCKY SON OF A BITCH!"

I was getting more intense and I formed my gun. They were shining brighter and brighter.

"SOUL REASONANCE!"

My soul engulfed my body and my gun grew bigger and then turned into the hunter form.

"DEMON HUNTER!"

The gun was steaming purple smoke. I grabbed the handle and cocked the gun.

"What devil fruit is this?" Hawkeye asked.

"It's not a devil fruit! I AM A DEMON!"

I took in as much power as I could. The gun's blast was almost flowing out of the cannon.

"DEMON BUSTER!"

Before I could strike, something was grabbing my leg. I looked down, still not calming down, and saw Zoro, covered in blood and tears, but still alive.

"You…idiot! I'm the one who's going to become the greatest swordsman! Don't try and steal my dream, stupid!"

_Your not suppose to be here Screaver. You have to be careful about what you change._ Michael's words echoed in my head.

I regained control of myself. I deactivated my Demon Hunter. Great, another year down the crapper.

I carried Zoro to the ship that had Johnny and Usopp. I dropped him like a log.

"Watch it Big Bro! He could die!" Usopp said.

"Relax. Let's go." I said. I looked back at Luffy and hollered that I was going after Nami.

"I'll bring Nami back Luffy! And the ship as well! But you gotta help as soon as you kick Krieg's ass! Got it?"

"RIGHT!" Luffy yelled back at me.

Hawkeye declared his challenge to Zoro. I glared at him, still wanting to kick his ass.

"Luffy! Can you hear me?" Zoro strained to say. He hoisted his sword up high.

"Yeah." Luffy said back to him.

"I know you…need nothing but the world's best swordsman. I'm sorry! I let you down!" He hacked up blood.

The brothers were freaking out. Zoro saluted and started crying as blood ran down from his mouth.

"From this day forward…I solemnly swear…THAT I WILL NEVER LOOSE AGAIN! UNTIL THE DAY THAT I BEAT HIM AND TAKE HIS TITLE!"

His speech was really good. I felt more respect for him after that moment.

"I WILL NEVER LOOSE AGAIN! IS THAT OK? KING OF THE PIRATES?"

Luffy chuckled, "YEP!"

Hawkeye was about to leave when Krieg stepped in and tried to pump him full of lead. But Hawkeye was able to cause another explosion and escaped.

Usopp told Luffy we were off to get Nami and how the six of us would sail off for the Grand Line as he tossed his hat to Luffy.

"Hey old man! I'm just telling you that I QUIT!" I yelled to Zeff.

"Suit your self! You did enough for this place than anyone else did! You're FIRED!" He yelled back.

The other cooks were sobbing and cheering, "SO LONG, CHORE-MAN!"

The ship we were on used the explosion as a sort of launch to propel the ship forward.

"Yozaku, you stay behind. It's better that Luffy knows which way to go when he's finished." I told him.

"Yeah, good thinking Big Bro!" He replied, and he took a life boat back to the Baratie.

"Hey…Screaver…" Zoro tried to say. "Shouldn't you stay behind and…gather more souls? That crew of pirates…"

"It's ok. Nami is more important now. Come on. Let's go get out navigator back."


	20. Chapter 20

Arriving at Fishmen Headquarters

I Get a Taste of Seafood

Time passed by quickly, we were already at the island. Zoro was all patched up, but still in no shape to fight. I tried to use my healing power on him, but it didn't help that much. It took just enough of the pain off for him to be able to stand is all it did.

Usopp and Johnny were cowering and complaining about how Arlong was strong and will kill us.

"Whatever." I told them every time. They just kept cowering.

Zoro was all set on attacking head on, but the other two guys bashed him in the head with hammers and tied him up.

* * *

"UNTIE ME!" He constantly screamed. Usopp and Johnny sailed the ship farther away from Arlong Park. We were heading closer to Cocoyashi Village. I decided since they were going to ditch Zoro soon, I would ditch them.

"Sorry Zoro, but I have business to take care of." I told him, and I leaped off the boat.

"Hey Screaver! What are you doing?" Usopp yelled at me.

I was about to collide with the side of the cliff, but I showed them my new ability.

Here's the rundown. These guns will act just like I imagined them. Well I just so happened to make it so that they can act like temporary rocket boosters when I fire them in the air.

I formed both guns on my legs, and seemingly jumped off the air and propelled up the cliff. I then started running as fast as I could up the cliff.

I made it up the side of the cliff, just in time to freak the fuck out of some guy who happened to be looking out at the ocean, and I waved at him. I darted passed him and headed for what looked like a village.

* * *

Only problem was the WHOLE VILLAGE WAS UPSIDE DOWN! I almost fell backwards it freaked me out. I looked between two buildings and saw some fat, hippo looking guy in a Hawaiian shirt. I guess he was a fishman.

"Huh? Hey you!" He saw me and turned to face me. He was quite a way from me, but now seemed like the best time to test out how far I could use my skill.

"Flash Step!"

I double tapped my foot and I leaped toward the fishman. I'll admit, it felt really weird. Cool, but weird. He didn't move a muscle and my move canceled right in front of him. He was startled and I drew by gun.

"Bazooka Punch!"

What this attack does is this: when I make contact with the enemy, I fire one blast form the bazooka. Apparently when the cannon is in glove form it forms a sort of pulse form my hand. And when it is fully extended, it will fire a projectile. Simple enough.

I quickly blasted a hole through his chest, and he unraveled. His soul seemed…different. It was much bigger and was a darker shade of red. It was almost the size of a small melon than a apple like before.

Oh well, more for me then. I claimed my prize and sucked it down. I chewed it, felt kinda like jello. I felt the power surge through me. I slightly tasted like fish sticks.

_Do fishman souls count more than human souls? _I asked Michael.

_It would seem so easy if that were the case now would it?_ He replied.

_Bastard…had to try right?_

I saw Usopp, some little kid, and Nami sister, Nojiko I think, staring at me in terror.

"What? I was hungry. Oh and Usopp…Zoro is going to kill you for tying him up like that."

And with that, I flash stepped back the way I came.

* * *

I was constantly flashing forward as fast as I could, which was getting really annoying since it wouldn't last but 3-4 seconds every time. I walked around until I was at the perfect position to see the dock to Arlong Park. It was surrounded by fishmen, and the head honcho himself, Arlong, was sitting at his "throne." He was a big, purple, saw-nosed behemoth with black hair and huge teeth. Damn I'm glad I'm not near those things right now.

Zoro was tied up, being questioned by Arlong about why he was here.

Arlong proclaimed how fishman were the next step in evolution, and they can breathe under water, and blah blah blah.

It wasn't until…Nami busted through the door of the building.

Zoro was stunned by this and said something to her; I couldn't hear but I knew what it was.

I quickly dived into the water and climbed up the back of the ship as quietly as possible. I ducked so that no one could see me and I quietly went into the ship.

I heard Nami said evilly, "I'm a pirate, plain and simple. And you fell for the whole act."

I peeked through the crack and saw her evil smile. If I didn't know that she was lying, I would smack that bitch so hard…

I got into position and imagined what I was going to do.

_You mind running your plan through Screaver?_ Michael asked.

_I'm just going to scare the shit out of Nami, and get Zoro out._

_Not the best plan…and wait…STOP CHANGING EVERYTHING!_

_I want more action during the fight of Arlong Park, and if Zoro kills them all now, I won't get as many souls._

_Just…be careful…_ He warned me.

Before I could, Zoro jumped into the water all tied up. He was going to drown if Nami hadn't jumped in to save him. They were both panting after they resurfaced, and she smacked him. Arlong was questioning this, but she tried to cover it up. They were about to take Zoro away when I knocked on the side of the ship.

"What was that?" One of the fishmen said.

"Some one go check." Another said.

I heard two fishmen board the ship and were about to open the door when I ducked into the darkness. They walked into the ship, closed the door, and with two screeching yelps, I dispatched them both. One of them apparently had Zoro's sword strapped to there back so I took that too.

"Hey! What happened?" I heard one say.

I kicked open the door, holding two new fishman souls.

"You know for being such powerful, evolved creatures, fishman souls sure do taste bad." And I sucked them both down.

_6__ down, 94 to go._

A fishman said, "Who is that? What did you do with…"

"Your friends? I ate them." I said coldly. I looked at Nami and gave her a slight smile.

"Why hello Nami. How have you been since you betrayed us?" I said. She was stunned, I think I saw the point when she remembered the last time she saw me. She then jumped and got a look of terror on her face.

"Let me guess, he was also one of those fools who you tricked?" Arlong mused.

"Oh I knew from the start she worked for you, Arlong. Ever since I met her when we face Buggy. That tattoo on your arm is a dead giveaway." I'm just glad that he didn't flip out about me killing his men. I guess he doesn't realize that I killed them.

She rubbed her arm and tried to reassure herself. "So, you think you can just barge into Arlong Park, surrounded by the Arlong Pirates, and take your friend back?" She said laughing weakly.

"Yes." I said. I glared at her intensely. Her boost of confidence disappeared as I hoped off the boat, walked over to Zoro, and picked him up.

"You ok Zoro?" I asked.

"Bout damn time you got here!" He said back.

"Come on, let's find Usopp. I think you have a few words to say to him." I said smiling.

Zoro smiled back and said, "Or a sword but in his face!"

"Are you going to let him get away? KILL THEM!" Arlong told him men. The fishmen shook off the fear I gave them and slowly attacked. I broke some of his ropes, but we were surrounded and I couldn't get the legs.

"Zoro, hold on." I said as I picked him up.

"Wait! What?" He asked.

"Flash Step!"

-WHOOSH-

* * *

I was outside the gate. Don't know how I go the gate. Don't care. I dashed as far as I could into the woods. I panted and set Zoro down and cut the rest of his ropes.

He said, "Wait! My sword…"

"Is right here." I finished and gave him his sword. I snapped the rest of his ropes.

"What the hell was that? You ran in thinking it would work out?" He yelled at me.

"Weren't you going to do the same thing?" I yelled back.

"Well, how are Usopp and Johnny? Do you know" He asked me.

"I saw Usopp taken in by the people who are help prisoner by the fishmen, so he's probably ok. I don't know about Johnny though."

"I'm going to kill Usopp when I find him!" He said furiously.

"All I know is we can't fight those guys until Luffy, Yozaku, and that cook show up. We have to lay low, and kill all scouts we find." I told him.

"Agreed." Zoro said and he went deeper into the woods.

After a while of getting lost, Zoro found a nice tree to sleep under while I was thinking about something.

Why did those fishmen stop when I glared at them. They were so afraid of me. I'm not that scary am I? And Nami…I didn't mean to make her shit herself.

_I think I got this._ Michael said.

_Oh good, please explain._ I said sarcastically back.

_Well think about it, __you were always a scary guy. Remember Leo? Your regular glare was magnified when you crossed over into this world._

_That's your explanation then?_

_You got anything better?_

…_Point taken. I'll call it…a Death Stare._

I sat my head down and kept watch. It was quite; nothing but the wind blowing through the trees and the chirping of bugs.

-WHOOSH-

I looked up and saw…a ship flying over the trees!

"Zoro! Wake up! Luffy's here!" I told him and kicked him in the leg.

"Hey!" He groaned.

I followed the ship until it crashed in a rice patty outside the forest. Unfortunately…

-SMACK-

…It rammed into me and Zoro before it got there.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" I yelled at him.

He just stood there, in the wreckage, brushing off his stupid hat. "What do you mean? Where's Nami? And Usopp and Johnny?"

"When I find Usopp I'm going to kill that bastard!" Zoro repeated again.

"He's already dead…" I heard a crying voice say. It was Johnny, on his knees panting and crying.

Wait…WHAT?

"Were to late…Big Bro Usopp is dead!" Johnny cried.

What? What did I do wrong? How? What?

Johnny pounded the ground in anger and finally said, "Nami…MURDERED USOPP!"

"WHAAAAAAAT?"


	21. Chapter 21

Nami Tells Another Lie

The Fight Between Species Draws Near

_What did I do? How did I mess up so much? What? Was killing those mermen too much for the fabric of space and time? What?_

"TAKE THAT BACK! SAY ONE MORE WORD AND YOU'LL REGRET IT!" Luffy was shaking Johnny down, but Johnny didn't say any different. He kept saying that she killed Usopp.

_Wait…Nami didn't kill Usopp. She faked the whole thing right? Yeah…that's it. She…stabbed her hand and faked his death. Whew…good…I'm forgetting the important details._

"Say what you will, but I saw her kill Usopp!" Johnny persisted.

I looked at Zoro; he had a look of complete shock on his face. Sanji was just smoking his cigarette.

"SHUT UP! NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD NAMI HURT HER FRIENDS!" Luffy yelled at him.

"What was that about friends Luffy?" I heard Nami say. We all turned and saw Nami holding her staff. She had a look of disgust on her face.

"Nami!" Luffy said, dropping Johnny.

"What are you doing here?" She said rudely.

"What do you mean? Were here to bring you back." Luffy tried to coax her.

She turned him down and basically told us to get the hell out of dodge (references.)

"Enough Nami, where is Usopp?" Zoro said firmly.

She sneered. "With the fishes."

"CUT THE CRAP!" Zoro yelled and charged at her. If Sanji hadn't had blocked his slash, she would've been mince meat.

"You're pretty clueless aren't you?" Sanji said.

"This isn't the time for your bullshit chivalry." I said, giving her on of my Death Stares. She was trying to look away, avoiding my gaze. She felt my glare once; she probably didn't want to feel it again.

"So Nami, is Usopp really dead." I said, intensifying my stare.

"Umm…well…" She was mumbling.

She seemed to fake some courage, and once again told us, "If you want to live, you'll leave this island, NOW!"

I could hear all the emotions in her tone. The anger, the fear, the seriousness. Ok not really, I knew what she meant. I watched the anime after all.

Luffy, surprisingly (not to me though), dropped to the ground and closed his eyes.

"Uhhh…Luffy?" Johnny asked him.

"Sleepy…" He said.

"Now of all times?" I said.

He said that he won't get in her business, but won't leave either. What a fickle person.

Nami clanged her fists in anger and yelled, "FINE! JUST GO AHEAD AND DIE!"

And with that, she ran off.

* * *

_Well our situation hasn't gotten any better from what I've seen._ Michael stated.

_Just shut up. I'm tired, I want to take a nap._

A few hours had pasted since Nami confronted us. Johnny and Yozaku had ditched us, chicken-shit bastards. Luffy was asleep, Zoro was as well, I was close to it, and Sanji was just staring off into space smoking.

"Hey Sanji, you know Nami really didn't kill Usopp, right?" I asked him.

He let out another puff of smoke. "Yeah, how could you tell?"

"Well the whole defending her from Zoro after she said _I killed Usopp_ had to mean something. Your stupid chivalry can't possibly extend to that degree."

"Hey! It is not stupid! It just shows the depth of my love…" He trailed of and went all girly.

"Oh really. So if a hot chick walked up to you, told you she killed 50 men for no reason, slapped your mother for good measure, and killed a puppy with her bare hands right in front of you, you would even hit her?"

He stared at me for a moment and shook his head. "I mustn't hurt a woman under any means."

"Well that's going to suck when you get killed by a female pirate out in the open sea."

"Ahhh…a fate I must suffer for the good of women." He acted all dramatic.

"Your such an idiot." I heard Zoro say.

"What? Who you calling an idiot?" Sanji yelled back at him.

"Both of you!" He yelled back.

"HEY!" I yelled.

Sanji was about to kick Zoro, I was about to punch Zoro, and Zoro was about to whack us with his sword, when all of a sudden…Usopp intercepted our attacks.

-BAM-

-SMACK-

-WHACK-

Oh…he did not look good. Oh well, at least he's alive.

He was on the ground, bruised and bleeding, making strange sounds as the three of us were staring at him.

"It's ok, he's dead anyway. He probably didn't even feel it."

The three of us laughed.

* * *

Luffy woke him up and Usopp explained the whole situation. The terms of his "death," Arlong Park, etc.

"So…we need to destroy Arlong's playground." I stated.

"Hold on! Should we find out why Nami is with them in the first place?" Usopp said.

"I think she can do that for us." I said, pointing down the path.

Nojiko was standing there, right where I was pointing.

"Who's that?" Luffy asked.

"Nami's big sister." Usopp told us.

"NAMI'S SISTER?" Sanji started with hearts in his eyes before I smacked him upside the head and knocked him out of his trance. She may not be her _blood _sister…but she still…looked…pretty hot. Tan skin, purple hair (Tommy Pickle?) and a more grown up body…

_NO! NO! Nami is better! You love NAMI! FOCUS!_

Nojiko basically told us to scram to, but also offered to tell us Nami's story. Luffy decided to walk off, Zoro passed out by a tree, and I politely declined.

"Hey! Why not? Don't you want to know about Nami?" Sanji complained at me.

As I walked down the road, I stated, "I know the story, not much point to hearing it another time." And with that, I stepped down the path.

* * *

_What are you doing?_ Michael asked me.

_Remember, those Marines are going to take Nami's money if I don't stop them._ I told him.

_Ok…wait…I TOLD YOU…_

_CAN IT! This is MY WORLD NOW! I will do what ever the FUCK I want! GOT IT?_

…_Heh…I see you've finally taken some initiative. Just be careful._ He warned me.

_Yeah yeah, I know._

* * *

I wandered around the island for a while. I was piecing together the whole flashback of Nami childhood as I went along.

_Bellemere was…a marine and she found Nojiko and Nami abandoned when they were kids. Something…oh yeah, she decided to raise them together. Nami and Nojiko grew up and…they lived a peaceful life? Sure they were poor but they live peacefully. Then Arlong showed up, killed Bellemere for only paying enough for her kids tribute, and Nami made a 100,000,000 berri deal for the village. That's the just of it, right?_

Well, that's all I could remember, and a few images of Nami as a kid. Plus Arlong and that saw-sword, kinda over-kill but hey it's not my taste.

_-BANG-_

_A gunshot, the scene of Bellemere getting killed by Arlong, Nami being carried away by the fishmen flashed in my mind._

Anger rose to my face. He is EXACTLY the kind of guy I hate. Hurting others for no good reason. My hands were trembling with anger.

I then saw scenes of that rat marine breaking into Nami's treasure. The marines digging up the gold, Nami struggling to stop them, rat-bastard smiling greedily.

I increased my pace when the flashes were over._ I must stop them!_

* * *

I was to late…

I wound the place dug up, Nami in tears, Nojiko on the ground unconscious, and that pinwheel guy treating her. There was an empty box in the ground.

I stood behind the old man and asked, "Which way did they go?"

He was startled by my presence. "Who…"

I grabbed his collar, and said with my Death Stare on, "WHERE DID THEY GO?"

He pointed in some direction. I walked over to Nami and patted her on the head. She looked up, with a mixture on anger and sadness on her face.

"I'll get your treasure back. Wait a moment."

Then I flash stepped down the path.

* * *

A god hour down I found the Marines with about 10 big bags of treasure. That Rat-bastard was laughing as he walked down the path ahead of them.

I decided to do something about this.

I pulled out my gun, glove form, and dispatched all 15 of the Marines with a fury of bazooka punches, leaving the rat. Their souls floated to the ground as I flash stepped right behind him. The instant he looked behind and saw me glaring at him with all his men gone…

Let's just say that his face: priceless.

"WHA! WHO? WHAT?"

I elbowed him in the face and grabbed him by the throat.

"You want to be a corrupt, lying, scheming son of a bitch, be my guest. But don't be a marine while doing it. And this next punch…"

I whined back my fist and gave him a punch so hard he went flying.

"IS FOR NAMI! YOU RAT-BASTARD!"

I collected all the bags of money and put them in one big carrier bag I found lying on the ground. The bag looked like it was going to burst; I guess it would having 93,000,000 berris worth of treasure. I heaved it onto my back, gathered my souls, and walked down the path.

The bag felt surprisingly light, either that or I was strong. I could keep it over my shoulder with one hand as I swallowed down my 15 new souls.

_21 down, 79 to go._

* * *

I continued down the path until I got to the town. It was completely abandoned. Don't know why. Luffy was just standing there, staring at something. I looked further and saw Nami, on her knees, crying her eyes out. I tapped Luffy on the shoulder and told him to stay quiet. I moved him out of the way as I walked toward her.

She raised a knife above her head just before I got to her. She was screaming Arlong's name over and over in anguish as she stabbed her arm over and over again. I finally stopped her arm. She jerked back, but I wouldn't let go. She finally snapped her head back at me, anger and tears in her eyes, and looked at me. Her anger quickly changed to surprise and shock.

What I could understand, she saw me; a 6'2 scary looking guy, holding a bag that was the size of a double-queen sized bed, towering over her.

"There are better ways of removing a tattoo." I said calmly to her.

"How…why…" She shuttered.

"I think this covers my debt."

"Uh…yes." She slightly smiled. She reached for the bag, but I refused to get it to her.

"This money shouldn't go to you." I said.

"What? After…I gave 8 years of my life so I could get that money! I need that money!"

I sat her down, and I dropped the bag. I got close to her face and said, "You got this money for you VILLAGE, Nami. But no, you won't use it to buy your village back. We are going to TAKE your village back from Arlong, and this money will help them rebuild there town, their island. Does that sound good?"

She was forming tears in her eyes. "You can't. He can't be beaten. He…he…" She was crying.

"Because he killed your mom?"

She stared at me, like how could I know that?

"Your mom gave her life so you could be happy. Are you happy right now? No matter what happens, Arlong wouldn't let this town, or you, go free. You would stay here, drawing maps as his slave. Would that make you happy?"

She looked away, trying to hold in her tears.

"I have three reasons to go up to that smug bastard and drive him off this island." I said.

She looked back at me.

"Reason #1: For hurting and murdering countless people for no good reason."

She looked at me more intensely.

"Reason #2: For bullying entire islands out of their hard earned money."

I waited for a few moments until she asked, "And…the third reason? Did he call you _boy_?"

"Nope." I said smiling. She seemed confused.

"Because he made you cry. I can't let him get away with letting the girl I love cry."

Her eyes were wide, her cheeks blushed. She seemed really surprised by what I said.

"So Nami, do you want our help?"

She began crying again, and nodded. I released her hand and looked back at Luffy.

"Luffy! Nami wants our help!"

Luffy was standing there, cracking his knuckles. Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp were standing there as well, all set up in their _cool guy_ poses.

"RIGHT!" They all said. They are calmly walked forward past Nami. Luffy took off his hat and put it on Nami's head as he passed. I smiled at her as she was still in tears, and joined them in the line.

* * *

For the next 10 minutes, I felt so cool. I was walking, in a line, with my favorite anime characters, ready to go kick some ass. I felt so BAD ASS!

We went through the crowd of villagers who were armed to the teeth. I saw the pinwheel guy look at me and said something to the other guys; probably _it's that scary guy who threatened me_.

We stood at the gate of the park, where Johnny and Yozaku were waiting. They stepped out of the way as Luffy pulled back his fist and punched the door down.

-BAM-

The door crumbled under his hands. He was all that was left in a pile of ruble and dust.

Arlong and his crew stared at us as Luffy said in a death serious tone, "Now, which one of you is Arlong?"


	22. Chapter 22

Battle Between Species...Begins!

Wait...Is that a...No Way

Luffy walked up toward Arlong as he said, "Well that so happens to be my name." He was all lounging on his throne in the mitts of a whole swarm of fishmen; seemed to be more of them thanks to me rescuing Zoro before he killed them. Good, more for me.

Two fishmen tried to stop Luffy, but he just smashed their heads together and they fell down. He continued onto Arlong, and punched him so hard that it flung him out of his chair and into a wall.

-BAM-

The fishmen started to attack Luffy on all sides. Sanji took out the first half, and I punched the other half into submission. Not to kill, oh no, not yet.

"Honestly, charging in like that." Sanji remarked.

"You really don't think ahead." I said.

"Hey, I could handle those goons." Luffy said in his defense.

"Who said anything about you?" Sanji and I said in unison.

"We don't want you to take all the action." Sanji said smirking.

"Uh…" Usopp weakly added in, "I don't mind if you take all the action…"

"You're just as raring to go as usual." Zoro sneered.

Arlong let out a loud laugh. "I get it now; you've been after Nami this whole time! Well she belongs to me, and I won't let you have her!"

"SHUT YOU FUCKING MOUTH! Nami isn't _your_ anything! She's our friend and crewmate!" I said in our defense.

"Hey, it's that guy who made two of our men vanish! He broke in here, took Zoro and vanished!" One of the men said.

"They didn't disappear, I ate them." I said wickedly, which freaked them out a little.

"Couldn't you wait until I cooked them? It no good to eat them raw." Sanji joked.

"Haha, not like that." I told him.

"Who do you think you're talking to? You aren't even worth Arlong's time! We know how to deal with you!" The octopus man said. He turned to face the pool and let out a…trumpet?

-TRUMPET SOUND?-

He literally was playing the trumpet on his mouth. After a few minutes a huge, green and white cow monster with a bump on his head popped out of the water. He looked at us, saw Sanji, and quickly cowered away.

"MOOMOO! Where are you going?" The octopus said.

Before the cowfish left, Arlong said, "Leaving? Now now, what a shame…Well if you really want to run away, then who am I to stop you…Well then?"

"At least he didn't call him a _cow_ard." I said quietly. Zoro heard my stupid joke and hit me on the head.

"That was REALLY bad." He said.

The cow apparently was infuriated by those words, and went all anger-management on us. Its eyes went blank, and it was showing its fangs.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAARAAAAHHH!"

He was about to ram into the place where we were standing, when I got an idea.

_Hey, why don't I try to stop it?_

I stood forward, held up my hand, ready to stop the beast in its tracks.

-BOOM-

It's forehead collided with my hand and its expression changed from anger to shock.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" I heard the villagers say.

_WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?_ I heard Michael say.

Ok, I must be like Superman or something. I was freaked out like nobodies buisness, but I kept my cool as everyone freaked out. Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp were just as surprised; mostly Usopp looked like he just shit rocks.

"Hey, cow." I said intimidating.

It was freaked out and looked at me. I gave it a Death Stare and said as evilly as I could, "_GET THE FUCK OUT OF DODGE! OR I WILL GO TEXAS RANGER ON YOUR ASS YOU PIECE OF UNCOOKED STEAK!_"

I don't know if it understood me (honestly a human from this place wouldn't get the references) but it was already sweating and crying like a baby. It rose up…just as Luffy grabbed his horns.

"TIME FOR SOMETHING NEW!"

_Damn it Luffy!_

I looked behind and saw Luffy was all twirled up, feet planted it the cement, with a crazy look on his face. I flash stepped out of the way just as he called out, "GUM GUM PINWHEEL!"

-CRASH- -BAM- -MOOOOO-

He flung that cow around like a plush toy! It smacked the fishmen, the building, the ground, and then Luffy tossed the creature back in the ocean.

I looked back at the villagers and they were all completely stunned, shocked, and scared.

Zoro and Sanji jumped out of the way in time, I couldn't see Usopp…oh there he is; cowering under a rock.

All I could say was, "Poor cow."

"So, you have devil fruit powers." Arlong stated.

Luffy announced, "I didn't come here to beat all your cronies, I came to teach YOU a lesson. So STEP UP!"

Arlong smirked. "Oh don't worry, I was just thinking how I will painfully end your life."

Luffy had already moved on to a different matter. Getting scolded for being a DUMBASS by the rest of the crew.

"What the fuck was that? I had that beast scared shitless without you tossing him like that!" I complained as I hit him upside the head.

Anyway, all the fishmen were dead, I think. Damn, all my souls…

All that were standing were Arlong, the stingray, the big lips, the octopus, and some sort of lump-like creature covered in a cloak. Who's that guy?

_Screaver…I have some news. _Michael chimed in.

_Oh good…news._

_Uh, well, I saw that guy in the back right there since he looked rather out of place._

_Yeah, and?_

_Well, he seems to be an anomaly._

_A what?_

_It's what I call those things that happen when the fate of the world has been changed. Anomalies will form from time to time, and well, that guy is apparently one of Arlong's top fighters now._

_Well, I was thinking about what I would do in this fight…so I guess this works out huh._

_That's not what I mean. When these anomalies form, they are usually pulled from another dimension which can exist in even the most outlandish things from our world. I mean they can come from movies, books, video games, even pictures from our world._

_So…This guy is…what?_

"It seems that we must join the fight!" Stingray said.

"Now you'll get an education in the inferiority of your species." Big lips said.

"I'm ready for a fight!" A strange, gruff voice said behind them. The cloaked thing behind them stepped forward and ripped of his cloak.

When I saw him, I dropped my jaw.

_NO FUCKING WAY THIS IS POSSIBLE!_

It was, in fact, a krogan. A big, brown, plated krogan. A krogan from the video game Mass Effect actually. I recognized him because, well, I play video games. Mass Effect is a popular game, so I know what a krogan is. WHAT THE FUCK IS A KROGAN DOING HERE?

_Yeeeeeaaaaah…this is what happens when you change too much._ Michael said.

_You NEVER said a FUCKING KROGAN would pop up!_

_Yeah…my bad?_

_Does he know he shouldn't be here?_

_Actually no. He has lived here, on this planet, all his life. As far as everyone knows. It's just in this world, he decided to join Arlong's gang, and just so happens to look like a krogan from Mass Effect. Just a coincidence._

_Ok…ok…ok…this is still pretty fucked up._

_Yeah._

_I mean krogan were hard to beat in the video game, with guns and powers. I'm going to face one with just MY hands and powers._

_Yeah._

…_You're a dick._

_Yeah…wait…NO!_

Well, I have to face a krogan…ok…so what?

He beat his head and let out a roar.

**-!-**

"I'm ready!" He cheered.

"Uh Sanji…" I said.

"What?" He asked.

"How's about you take the stingray guy and I'll handle that frog looking guy. He seems like more than you can handle." I said gloatingly.

"HEY! I can take him! I'll take the big guy! You can have that stupid stingray." He said growling at me.

"Ok, ok, fine. Have it your way." I said shrugging,

_Hehehehe…sucker._

"Relax sir; let us deal with these insects." Stingray said.

"If you go on a rampage, Arlong Park could be destroyed." Big lip added.

"RAAAAAAAAAH! Please! Let us kill these weaklings!" Octopus said.

"Hahahaha! I like it when the boss goes mad! But let us attack first!" Krogan finished.

"Alright, there yours." Arlong agreed, and rested his head on his hand.

The octopus began on inflate.

"What's that octopus doing?" Zoro asked.

"Octopus is best served cut thin and salted." Sanji decided.

"DUCK!" I yelled.

"TAKE THIS! ZERO VISION: HACHI INK JET!"

He shot out a huge amount of gooey, black ink. Zoro, Sanji, and I dodged, but Luffy was kinda stuck to the ground.

"Luffy! Get your feet unstuck!" I told him.

"I'm trying!" He called back at us.

"Now to finish you off!" Hachi (I guess he's called) said. He picked up a huge part of the broken building and prepared to slam it down on Luffy. Sanji was going to dart in to stop it, but I wanted attention!

I got there just as he brought the roof down (haha) and I slammed my fist upward. Surprisingly, the rock split in two.

-CRASH-

Ok, I know I wasn't Superman, but that was freaking awesome. I wanted to give myself a pat on the back for doing that, but I would break character.

"You're so damn annoying." I said in my tough guy tone. All the villagers were shocked again by my acts.

"Whoa! Screaver that was so cool!" Luffy cheered.

"Focus on digging out those feet of yours!" I yelled at him.

"Hey! I was going to do that!" Sanji complained.

"Tough shit! I was here first!" I said back to him. "Luffy, you need to think ahead. Honestly, to think I serve under such a stupid captain."

"I think were all wondering that Screaver." Zoro said.

"Oh well, he's still better than that sack of shit over there." I said pointing at Arlong.

"HEY! HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE GREAT ARLONG! You don't know anything about…"

"I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU STUPID UNPROSESSED DINNER! I know everything! From the moment you entered this island, you forced these innocent people to pay you money or you would kill them. Then you found a woman, a kind and caring mother of two, and KILLED her because she didn't pay enough; leaving her two daughters parentless! And what's even worse, was you forced one of those girls who wasn't even 10 to JOIN YOUR FUCKING CREW TO DRAW MAPS AND STEAL MONEY FOR YOU! ARE YOU SO FUCKING STUPID AND BARBARIC THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK THAT WAS WRONG YOU FUCKING STUPID, SMELLY, POWER AND MONEY HUNGRY, COCK SUCKING, SHIT EATING, FISHFACE MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!"

I was screaming, causing them all to stare at me. The fishmen were shocked, the villagers were confused as to how I know all this.

"I'm here to tell you to DROP DEAD YOU STUPID FISH! GO BACK TO YOUR FISHTANK AND GO BELLY UP YOU MUTATED GUPPY! YOU DAMN, DIRTY FISH!"

I heard gasps in the crowd of villagers. The fishmen were stunned. Arlong's face wasn't even visible. I was giving my full Death Stare. My face was red from all the yelling.

"Say what you want…your petty insults won't affect me." Arlong sneered wickedly.

"Don't treat ME like SHIT YOUR STINKING FISH!" I retaliated.

"You would face certain death for one stupid girl? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard." Stingray said.

"She ISN'T stupid! You are, ya Bottom-Feeder! I will BLAST YOU INTO PIECES!" I continued to insult.

"Well, your skills are quite exceptional…for a human." He said.

I smile evilly. "That's where you're wrong. I'm not human."

I whipped out my guns. They shown with intense light. More collective gasps.

"I am a Demon Weapon. Prepare to become a smoldering pile of ash."

"A Demon Weapon? That's all a bunch of crap. You're a human, plain and simple." He said.

"It won't matter what you believe, because you shall be dead." And I slipped into my boxer stance. The fishman held out his fists and prepare for some karate.

"Well, I you got that guy, I'll get this guy!" The krogan said, and he charged at Sanji. Sanji jumped off his head and flipped in the air.

"What kind of fish are you? I'll have to crack open that shell to get to the good meat." Sanji said as he sized up his opponent.

"RAAAAAAH! I will annihilate you, puny human!" He roared, and charged again.

"Hey, octopus! I choose you!" Zoro said.

I almost lost it when he said that.

"Huh? Why me?" Hachi asked, scratching his head three times.

"I don't know, just cause." Zoro unsheathed his sword.

Usopp was trying to pull Luffy out, but he accidently let go and snapped the Big Lips in the face. Big Lips got back up and charged after him as Usopp left the park.

Fucking coward.

So everyone's got a dance partner? Good.

"I grow tired of these weaklings." Arlong complained. He walked right up, dodged a punch from Luffy, and…ripped the floor out of the fucking ground?

"Did you know those with devil fruit powers can't swim? Although someone in your situation would sink right TO THE BOTTOM! AHAAAHAAHAAHA!"


	23. Chapter 23

Fishman vs. Demon Weapon

A Confession and A Promise

Arlong tossed Luffy in the water and told us his "game." Beat the three guys and break open Luffy's cinderblock: simple enough. I was against Stingray, Sanji was again the Krogan, and Zoro was facing Hachi the Octopus.

Zoro was still hurt, but he could at least fend off that weirdo. The krogan was charging Sanji over and over, but Sanji could jump over him.

"Loose focus and you will DIE!" Stingray snapped me back in to OUR fight and punched.

" Ass!" I yelled as I blocked and punched back.

It was really back and forth between us. He would punch here and chop there. But I could block with my guns and go for a punch there. I threw my 12 hit combo at him, but he defended with those fins on his arms.

"Bazooka Punch!"

I fired a round as soon as my gun collided with that plate of his. He was pushed a few feet back, and his fin seemed to have a blackened spot on it, but it was still intact and _he _was still reran to go.

"You'll pay for messing up my fin." He said, grinding his teeth.

"Believe me, that is the least of your problems." I said back, smiling evilly at him. He swung at me and knocked me off my feet. I was flung a few feet in the air, but I used my feet bazookas to launch me back at him and give him a tackle. He was pushed to the ground.

"Zoro!"

Zoro still looked in bad shape. He was panting and falling over his feet. Sanji wasn't doing so good either. The krogan had rammed him into a wall, but he was kicking back at him. The krogan were just to armored for his feet to kick through.

"PAY ATTENTION!"

-BAM-

Pain. Huge pain rushing through my gut. He punched me so hard that I flew into the wall near the gate. I didn't go through, but DAMN IT THAT HURT!

Blood came out of my mouth. My chest was hurting. _That's going to leave a bruise._ I saw Zoro on the ground unresponsive. I fell to the ground. I got back to my feet. I was still alive and kicking. Zoro…not so much.

"DAMN IT ZORO! You're the man who's going to be the world's best swordsman! And yet you're LOSING to a fucking octopus!"

He sat back up and said, "Who the fuck said I was losing?"

"Good! You're up! Now I can show you my superior six sword style!" Hachi proclaimed.

"Six swords? What a joke…" Zoro told him.

"Johnny! Yozaku! Your swords!" I yelled at them. They tossed their blades at Zoro, Hachi darted at Zoro, I jumped back, and Zoro caught the swords and fought back. He deflected all the swords and even cut a gash in Hachi's chest.

Zoro continued to beat Hachi until he took his pose and called out, "Dragon Twister!"

In a swirl of dust and wind, Hachi was sliced and blasted above the ground, and fell with a thud.

I saw Sanji still had to deal with the krogan, but he was wearing him down with a volley of kicks.

Zoro was on the ground, collapsed. The stingray was about to attack him from above until I realized, _WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?_

I drop kicked him, and then followed with a downward punch.

"So, you survived my punch huh? No man has ever survived one of my punches before." Stingray said.

"You should visit Julian High…they would kick your ass in under a minute." I said back at him.

Oh they would…they would.

Zoro was about to go into the water until I asked, "You're in no shape to stand, let alone swim."

"Shut up…I need…" He was panting.

I dove into the ocean.

"NO YOU IDIOT! That's what they want us to do!" I heard Zoro call out to me.

Don't care. My captain is in a brick on the bottom of a pool in the park of a fishman at the bottom of the sea.

What? It sounded good in my head…

* * *

I dove deeper and deeper into the water. The salt was burning my eyes, but I searched for Luffy. I saw him, along that old pinwheel guy trying to start Luffy's heart. Luffy's head was stretched above the water so he could breath, good.

I could break that rock, probably.

-BAM-

I felt a huge, boney, thing chop me in the back of the next. I kept my mouth shut as much as I could. I swam back and saw that stingray followed me and was smiling evilly.

"Stupid human, trying to fight a fishman in the water! You think you can beat me here? You can't even breathe!"

I could hear his voice echo in the water. I could only hold my breath for maybe 5 minutes. I can't remember. But I was probably down to 3 minutes anyway. I needed to break that rock.

The stingray called out more fishman karate and wrapped me with his hair, gross. He pulled me close and I tried to hit him, but my fist didn't move as fast.

He dodged it easily and said, "Your punch is powerless down here. That's more of your human weakness. However, my fishman karate gets even STRONGER!"

Then he kicked me, hard, right above the family jewels.

_Thank God that he missed, but OOOOOOOOOOOOOW!_

I let more air out, SHIT! Need to get back up!

He yanked be back with his hair and hit me again. Then again, and AGAIN!

He finally released me and I instantly swam to the surface.

_AIR! AIR! NEED AIR!_

The fishman quickly blocked my path.

"Amazing…you have so much stamina. I might believe you aren't human after all."

_MOVE! NEED AIR! BAD FORM!_

He let out an evil laugh. "Didn't you say that you would make us pay?"

_DON'T GO THERE! GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!_

"And yet, here I am, still alive! HAHAHA!"

_Move…loosing…focus…_

He looked at me and seemed to realize something. "I get it now." He said with a evil smile on his face. "You actually like that stupid girl, don't you?"

_Don't...even...go there...shshshit fuck..._

"I doesn't matter, you're trapped here and will die by my hand! After I kill you I'll kill that boy as well, and then Zoro and the long nose and the blond, then I'll murder the whole town. And lastly I'll kill that fucking bitch Nami, right after I defile her!"

_WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?_

"Oh yes human! I'll fuck her, good and hard! Something you will never get a chance to do! She was always cute, for a stupid lying bitch and a human no less! But I don't care! She'll become a trophy from this victory, after I've had my way with her! And then when I do have my fill of her, I'll break her little, weak, NECK! HAHAHAHA! DON'T YOU SEE? YOUR LOVE IS ABSOLUTE SHIT! YOU CAN'T PROTECT YOURSELF? THEN YOU PROTECT NO ONE! NOT EVEN YOUR LITTLE GIRLFRIEND NAMI!"

_YOU DIE NOOOOOOOOW!_

"YOU DIE NOW!" I screamed under water. I shot forward and clung onto him.

"Huh?" He grunted.

My body was glowing dark purple. My body temperature was raised to unbelievable temperatures, the water even began to bubble around me.

I got a flash of what Sanji did in the anime. He blew air into his gills because his lungs don't work under water.

"TIME TO GO BELLY UP, GUPPY!"

I bit into his gills and blew as much air as I had left. I tasted fish mixed with blood. He struggled and screamed as he floated to the surface.

"HUUUUUUUUHAAAAAAAH!" I yelled as I jumped out of the water. The heat from my body was causing all the water to evaporate, making my body covered in steam.

"Is he…" Zoro asked.

"Luffy's ok, just need one last thing to do." I told him.

I inhaled as much air as I could and yelled, "**GET YOUR SLIMEY, MURDEROUS, RAPEY ASS OUT HERE YOU FUCKING CODFISH!**"

He floated to the surface with blood shot eyes. Blood was trickling from his left gill on the side of his neck.

"Don't you realize that it's worthless? Whether I'm on…and…r…se…"

His words faded out of my ears. All I could here was my own heart beat. I was so angry, so disgusted. My stare was on full blast.

His words faded back the instant I flash stepped into him.

"…u…ances…ZERO!"

-BAM-

I close lined him in the neck and kicked his back straight up.

"**WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?**"

He muttered something but I threw an entire wall of punches: my 64 hit combo.

"**I CAN'T PROTECT ANYTHING RIGHT?**"

I flash stepped behind him and drop kicked his tail bone. Then I gripped his arm and flung him upward.

"**YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ALL THE VILLAGERS, IS THAT RIGHT?**"

I jumped above him and drove my gun into his torso and Bazooka Punched him through the chest.

"**THEN YOU'LL RAPE AND KILL NAMI?**"

I gave him a volley of kicks that Sanji would be jealous of. He was still standing; broken, bruised, with a hole missing in his torso.

"**I WILL NEVER LET ANYONE BE HURT LIKE THAT! I LOVE NAMI TO MUCH FOR THAT!**"

I bullet punched him right into the stone wall. I flashed stepped and grabbed his head.

"**I HAVE THE POWER TO PROTECT THE ONES I LOVE FORM MOTHERFUCKERS LIKE YOU!**"

I threw him and he skit across the ground. He tried to stand but both his legs were broken and he was kneeling. I activated my Demon Hunter. The glow started to scar the villagers.

"**SAY WHAT YOU MAY, BUT I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE TO PROTECT THE ONES I LOVE FROM SHITBAGS LIKE YOU! NOW BURN IN THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL**!"

Both my guns became Demon form. I aimed them both at him, taking in all the power I could.

"**DEMON HUNTER! DEMON DOUBLE BUSTER!**"

-**KABOOOOM**-

I launched my blasts at him and they ripped though his body. He was on his knees, straight up, basically missing his entire mid section. I flashstepped to his backside and collapsed the gun to glove form. I aimed it right at his head.

"**I WILL PROTECT HER NOW, AND FOREVER! YOU LOSE!**"

And I gave him a punch so hard that I think even Arlong would have to be impressed.

-**BAAAAM**-

His body flew through the building and almost demolished the whole first level.

In front of me was his soul; the soul of the fishman who I hated beond death itself. I deactivated my guns and grabbed his soul.

"Rest in hell…Stingray bitch." And I swallowed his soul. It tasted bitter, then a lot sweeter.

-THUD-

I collapsed. I was wide awake, but I couldn't move a muscle.

_Wow…you really went at it…didn't you?_ Michael said.

_Michael! Get me back up! NOW!_

_What am I suppose to do?_

_Give me some energy! Use my own soul energy! Just get me moving!  
_

_All you had to do was ask…no need to get desperate. _He said.

I felt energy flow into my body and I stumbled to my feet. I looked around the battlefield. Zoro was still on the ground, tending to his wounds. Sanji had finally dealt with that Krogan; rammed the poor thing into the wall. Sanji was staring at me intensely.

Can you blame him? That was quite a confession I made...I think.

Man I'm _really_ glad Nami isn't here right now.

"Nami! How long have you been here?" I heard the villagers say.

_Oh shit…_

I looked back and saw Nami standing before the villagers, wielding her wooden pole. She had bandages on her shoulder. She was looking at me, but I couldn't see her face.

"You pathetic humans are so fragile, that I can kill you by just playing around with a little water!"

-SLICE-

I couldn't breathe. Arlong had appeared in front of me and wacked me with something. I guess he was using water pressure or something. I fell to my knees and struggled to breathe. It was like a huge punch that knocked the wind out of me. I struggled to breathe again. Arlong was towering over me with an evil smile on his face.

"Arlong!" I heard Nami yell out.

"Hey Nami! I was just teaching a final lesson to these pathetic little pirates! What are YOU doing here?" Arlong asked her.

She glared at him and said in a deadly tone, "I'm here to kill you!"

"You, kill me? You realize that you haven't been able to kill me in the past 8 years. You pathetic humans can't kill me!" Arlong stated. He kicked over Sanji and he rolled to the ground.

I got back up and said, "Well then it's a good thing that I'm not human!" I dove at him again, and threw my 12-hit combo. He blocked most of them and gave one strong punch to my gut. Blood shot out of my mouth and I tumbled to the ground.

"Screaver!" I heard Johnny and Yozaku.

"I don't care what you think; you are no different from the rest of them!" Arlong told me, and he put his foot down on my chest. It was like a fucking truck was on top of me.

Arlong told Nami that he would let all the villagers go IF she came back with him and drew maps for him. Of course that didn't help us one bit since he said he would still kill us.

She turned to the crowd and said, "We'll fight to the DEATH!"

The crowd cheered and hoisted there weapons. I smiled and grabbed Arlong's foot. He looked down at me and frowned.

"Looks like you lost a crewmate. Now GET OFF!" And with one burst of strength I pushed him off my leg, sending him stumbling backwards a few feet. A huge geyser of water shot out into the sky. I heard Luffy gasp for air.

"Luffy! He's alive!" I heard Johnny and Yozaku cheer.

"SANJI! BREAK OPEN LUFFY'S WEIGHT!" I yelled at him. He got up, wiped the blood from his mouth and nodded. He dashed to the water and dove right in. I turned to Zoro and asked. "You ok Zoro? You look like shit."

"I only got 30 seconds." He said putting his sword in his mouth.

"Me too. It we attack separately that will give us a full minute. You go first." I said and I fell to the ground. He stood up and faced Arlong.


	24. Chapter 24

The Battle Ends Right On Schedule

The Unknown Aftermath Begins

Usopp joined up with us and shot one of his eggs at Arlong. He was all bragging about how he beat the Big Lips, show off.

Before Zoro could attack though, Hachi the octopus got back up. He was dripping blood, but stood back up and saw his boss go after Zoro.

Zoro tried to hit Arlong, but he deflected the blade with his NOSE! Hachi decided to leave Zoro alone and he dove into the water.

Zoro's eyes went wide as he saw Hachi go after Sanji, but I told him, "Change of plans Zoro! You have to last 30 seconds by yourself…"

-RIP-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" I let out a huge scream.

I fell over in huge pain. I just stood up and my chest felt like it was being ripped apart from the inside. I rolled back and forth. My body was shaking, more blood leaked out of my mouth, and…a sliver of light seemed to leak out of my chest. It looked like one of the streams of energy I give out when I use Demon Hunter.

_Your soul is being ripped apart. This is the extreme consequence of using soul resonance without a partner._ Michael said.

The sliver of light dissipated, but the pain was still there. I couldn't let Sanji down there alone. He looses half his strength under water. He needs help!

"Screaver! What's happening?" I heard Johnny and Yozaku call out to me. The villagers were looking frantic too. Nami covered her mouth in shock.

I heard Zoro's muffled voice ask me, "What was that? What happened?"

"A minor issue. I…have to…help Sanji!" I struggled to say. I jumped to my feet, wobbled to the water, then fell head first.

I was back under water, swimming towards the octopus. He was faster, but I was more determined. I ignored the huge pain in my chest and swam as hard as I could toward the fishman.

_I just gotta breathe air into his gills. He'll go belly up just like the stingray._

I saw the octo-man about to hit Nojiko in the face, but I made it in time and grabbed two of his arms.

"Huh? What?" The fishman grunted. His wounds shouldn't be fully healed yet, time to agonize it. I stretched his arms back as far as I could; as fast as I could. The jerking motion was able to rip his wound open and it bursted a cloud of blood. I released my grip and he drifted toward the surface.

Sanji and Nojiko nodded at me. Sanji then put one good kick and the rock turned to sand. Luffy's body quickly began rising to the surface. I smiled and lost control of my breathe.

A burst of bubbles and blood came out of my mouth. My eyes were rolling in the back of my head and I was loosing consciousness.

I guess having your soul ripped apart really takes its toll.

I was about to go belly up when I felt a hand grab my shoulder and pull me up to the surface. I gasped for air; thankfully I didn't inhale any water. I looked next to me and saw Nojiko's hand on my shoulder.

"You've done enough. How about sit this one out." She said sweetly. I smiled slightly and swam toward the shore.

Every muscle in my body was aching or in pain. I was covered in bruises, nothing broken I think. Just in pain. I pulled myself up to the ground just as Luffy unleashed a huge volley of Gum Gum attacks. I laid belly up on the floor, panting.

"Big Bro Screaver! You're alive!" I heard the two brothers cheer. I didn't even look up to see where they were, I just stuck my hand up, and gave a thumbs up.

I heard a column collapse, Arlong degrading humans again, and Luffy announcing, "There's no way I'll loose to a fishman. Because…I'M GOING TO BECOME KING OF THE PIRATES!"

Arlong sneered at him, and then they fought a little. I couldn't see anything since I couldn't even move my head.

After a while I finally heard his speech, "I don't have any clue on how to use a sword, you bastard! I'm a terrible sailor! I diffidently can't cook! I'm useless when it comes to cleaning! I can't even lie!"

Wait…I'm the cleaner? Oh well, better than nothing?

I heard some more fighting, and some clanking. I think Arlong had just used his teeth attack.

Then I heard Luffy say in a muffled tone, "SO WHAT? NOW I GOT SHARK TEETH!"

I laughed as hard as I can. It hurt to laugh, but I had to. "That is the dumbest thing I ever heard! AHAHAHAH! THAT"S GREAT!"

I'm sure people were staring at me, but I couldn't tell.

I heard more series of explosions and groans. Then I heard Luffy screaming as loud as he could in agony. Then I heard another explosion. They I heard a splash.

Uh oh, Arlong's in the water.

More explosions.

Then I heard, "Gum Gum SHIELD!"

More explosions. Then, "Gum Gum Finger-net! And Spear!"

A huge explosion.

Man it SUCKS to not be able to see anything.

Then I heard Luffy being flung around, collective gasps from the villagers. I heard more crashing, more screaming, more gasps from the audience.

* * *

Then a long period of silence until I heard crashing from above.

"What is that? A desk?" I heard Usopp say.

More crashing.

"What? Why is all that stuff falling out?" I heard someone ask.

I announced, "Luffy is setting Nami free!"

I heard more collective gasps and muttering from the villagers until…

-KABOOM-

A massive explosion came from the building. In fact, the building itself was collapsing.

I felt two hands pick me up, one on each shoulder, and I saw Johnny and Yozaku saying, "RUN! Let's go Big Bro!"

They dragged me out of the way just as the entire building collapsed into a pile of rubble. And thankfully, I was positioned so I could see it.

5 stories of building just caved in and imploded in a cloud of dust. It was…it was…it was so FUCKING COOL!

"LUUUUFFYYYY!" I heard Nami cry out.

"Don't worry…he's ok." I told her. She looked back at me, laid back on the side of a rock. She had tears in her eyes.

I smiled. "He's the guy who's going to be the King of the Pirates. You think one building collapsing on top of him will be enough?" I said with a chuckle.

Sure enough, as the dust settled down, a single figure busted out of the rubble. Luffy stood before the wreckage, and he let out a loud yell.

"NAMI! YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY FRIEEEEEEEEEND!"

She stared at him, tears in her eyes, and weakly said, "Yeah."

I smiled. A little of my strength came back, and I was able to stumble to my feet. I limped over to the crowd and said, "What are just gawking at?"

They were confused. I declared, "LUFFY WON! ARLONG PARK HAS FALLEN!"

Everyone cheered, "HOORAH!"

I cheered with them and smiled, almost falling right back on my ass. I stumbled backwards until someone pushed me back up. I looked back and say Nami, smiling.

I gave her a happy smile and cheered. Everyone was throwing Luffy up and down. I decided this moment needed something else. So I announced, "THREE CHEERS FOR THE FUTURE KING! HIP HIP…"

"HOORAY!"

"HIP HIP…"

HOORAY!"

"HIP HIP…"

"HOOOOOOOOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

They threw down there weapons and cheered loudly. Luffy was laughing and having a blast.

_Sure you're not jealous?_ Michael asked.

_No, I know where I am. He is the captain; I'm just the look out._

_And there's no shame in that! Hip hip…hooray!_ Michael cheered.

* * *

Seems like everything wrapped up nicely. Sanji joined up with me and Usopp, he had a new cigarette in his mouth. "Next time deal with the bad guys quicker, ya rubber-jerk!" He said.

Luffy was having a good time, but I guess it kinda stopped when the crowd dropped him. But he was laughing anyway. Nami came over to him and gave him back his hat. He smiled at her and they gave a high five.

_Wasn't I forgetting something?_

"Now hold it RIGHT there!"

Oh, that guy. That rat bastard was there, with a new squad of armed marines. He had a big bandage on his face where I hit him, but he was still smiling evilly.

He said that all the treasure now belonged to him and HE gets all the credit.

I flash stepped into his face and said, "Well well well. Stealing from these people again are we?"

He stepped back but I pulled him close and gave a HUGE punch to the chest. I then, in a flash, broke their weapons, beat all the marines, and gave 50 more bruises to that rat bastard. Oh yeah, Luffy and Zoro may had helped, but I did most of it…half of it...some of it.

They were beaten and swollen in a heap of people. Nami walked up to the broken commander and told him, "This is for shooting Nojiko, and for mercilessly tearing up Bellemere's tangerine orchard."

-BAM-

She smacked him so far he skit across the water. As he came back up, I picked him up by his neck. She then told him that he will help rebuild the island, give back all money he previously took, and will NOT take anymore money.

"Also, remember that Strawhat Luffy is my Captain. Which mean if you though I was dangerous…you should see Luffy when he's REALLY mad." I said giving him my Death Stare. I could almost see the moment that he shit his pants he was so scared.

I hoisted him up and yelled, "NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF DODGE!"

I threw him far out into the ocean. He cursed at us and promised that BIG THINGS WILL HAPPEN! Good, Luffy will get his bounty.

Luffy and the rest of us were all just relaxing. Luffy was messing with Zoro, Sanji was smoking his cigarette, Usopp was bragging about his fight, and Nami was just smiling. She looked over at me and looked worried. I would be too. I was hunched over, holding my chest, giving a thin, weak smile. My knees FINALLY gave out and I fell on my face. I was still bleeding from the mouth.

"SCREAVER!" Luffy cried out. Nami got on her knees and tried to shake me to respond.

"Screaver! Screaver! Don't die!" She was saying.

I moaned a little and said, "Relax…I'm the guy who's going to serve under the King of the Pirates." I gave a small chuckle.

Everyone relaxed a little. "I just need to take…a little nap…and get some food…and some FUCKIN MEDICAL ATTENTION!…ow that hurt."

* * *

Some time later, the whole island was a buzz with the news. Arlong Park was destroyed. A party for 3 whole days. I'm in for that.

Michael gave me another boost of energy and I could walk again, but it still hurt. I need to watch it. I let my emotions almost tear up my soul. Wait…OH SHIT I CONFESSED TO NAMI!

Wait…she wasn't there right? She didn't…uh…well…the villagers did. Aaaaaahh…shit.

I was wrapped up in bandages. I was bruised all over, but no broken bones at least. I was able to eat some of the food out of sight, enough to fill _my_ stomach.

I retraced my steps and found the cliff where Bellemere was buried. I saw that old guy, Genzo I think, walking back to the village. He saw me and smiled.

"Sorry I threatened you like that." I told him.

"It's ok, you got Nami's treasure back right?" He said.

I nodded.

"So…you took a liking to Nami eh?" He said smiling.

I turned away. My face probably turned red. "Ummmm…yeah…I guess so."

He let out another laugh. "Well, if she does return your feelings, you better take care of her!" And with that, he walked down the path. He turned back to me and also said in a dead serious tone, "And if you hurt her…I will kill you."

I didn't worry too much, I did love her after all.

I continued and saw Nojiko and Nami. Nami was right in front of the grave as Nojiko was standing a little ways away. She looked back and saw me. She smiled half heartedly and quietly left.

"I guess you want some alone time. Don't try anything funny, or I'll kill ya!" She said quietly to me. She giggled and left.

Great…the whole fucking island knows. But does SHE know?

I walked up to her and said, "So…this is your mother's grave."

She looked back at me. She seemed startled, but she nodded.

"Everyone's been looking for you. We all miss you at the party. Course the party _will_ last for a while."

"Yeah, they are pretty happy." She said.

Awkward silence.

"What happened to you? Before you jumped back in the water?" Nami asked me.

"Oh that…well…it's complicated." I told her.

"I'll listen." She said.

And so I explained about how Demon Weapons usually have misers, about soul resonance, about my method (I didn't tell her the truth.)

"Why don't you have a partner?" She asked.

I sighed. "I just…never found one. And misers are hard to come by nowadays."

"So your soul was ripped apart? Are you ok?" She said with concern.

"It's fine. That was only a year off my life." I said casually.

"WHAT? YOU LOOSE A YEAR BY DOING THAT?" She yelled, really concerned now.

"It's ok, it's just one year. Besides, one I become a Death Scythe, that won't be a problem anymore. Trust me." I ensured her. She seemed to let it go, but her eyes were still full of concern.

"How many souls did you collect?" She asked.

"Well, 4 fishmen, that being 3 cronies and that stingray guy, and 15 corrupt marines."

"Oh…so you killed those Marines?" She asked me, raising an eyebrow.

"HEY! They stole your treasure! You put your blood and sweat…"

She giggled, "Relax, I'm just teasing. I really appreciate you doing so Screaver. You have no idea what it means to me." She said, forcing a smile.

"I meant what I said Nami." I said, looking at her.

Sweat rolled down her face. "Umm…which…"

"I meant every word of it…I do, undoubtfully, unquestionably, love you." I was as serious as I could get.

She looked at me and saw I meant it. She tried to cover up her feelings by joking, "Oh come on! We've known each other for like a month! And you still owe me money you know, because I don't plan on keeping that money you got back!"

I didn't change my expression. Her cover up faded away. She was looking back at me.

"I promise to pay you back Nami, I will." I told her.

I could see her blushing. Her skin was all smooth and she looked flushed. Her eyes, her beautiful maroon eyes, were looking straight at me.

_Ok men! Man your kissing stations! This is not a drill! BEEEEOOOOOBEEEOOOOBEOO! _I heard Michael announce in my head.

_I SWEAR TO FUCKING JESUS I WILL KILL YOU!_

But, should I? Is it too soon? She may have been joking but, she did have a point. Sure, _I _may have known her for years, but it's only been like a month or two in this world. Is this two fast?

_Go in for the smooch!_ Michael cheered.

_SHUT UP!_

My hands were trembling, I was probably sweating, I was giving all my strength not to pass out.

I had my hand on her shoulder; her hand was holding my other hand.

I pulled her close to my face. Her face was so smooth and beautiful in the horizon.

I kissed her…on the lips.

_HOLY CRAP! HE ACUALLY DID IT!_ Michael cheered.

Her soft lips were touching mine. I DARE didn't do any tongue action, like in those movies.

She pulled away. She was just as startled as I was. Her face was red. She turned away.

"I'm sorry!" I said. Oh crap, she hates me know. I'll never get another chance! Or worse, she'll charge me MONEY FOR THIS!

She turned back to face me, sweating and stunned, but she gave a cute smile and said, "Oh come on! Be a man! Own up to it!"

She smacked me upside the head. Normally it would have hurt slightly, but she hit a bruise.

"Ow! I'm bruised you know!" I complained.

She put her hands on my face, turned my head to face her, and said, "Don't say sorry. I didn't regret it!"

_ZOMGWTF!_

She gave me a smile, hugged me, then walked back down the path to the town.

_Hey…Michael…_

_Yeah Ladies man? _He said snidely.

_This…isn't one of those dream things…right?_

_If it was I would be laughing. And I'm not laughing._

Huh? Nami…liked it?

SHE LIKED IT! WHOO-HOO!

I did a little dance saying over and over again, "SHE LIKED IT!" Like some retarded cult worshipper.

_You should probably get back to the party. Everyone's waiting._ Michael reminded me.

_Ok…and Michael…_

_Hmmmm?_

…_Thanks for bringing me here instead of letting me die. I thought you should know that._

_Come on Big Man, let's get some grub._

* * *

**And the Arlong Arc is just about to end. I hope you've enjoyed reading these past few chapters. I just want to take this time to bring up something that I should have done a few chapters back.**

**To all you who have read and reviewed my story, once again thank you. I started this story not a month ago and already got over 50 reviews! Holy shit! Once again, thank you. Keep tuning in to your computers, because this story is going to really pick up once Screaver hits the Grand Line. Trust me...you're in for a few loops.**

**Now if you'll excuse me, Screaver has a party to go to. I don't want to miss out! Actually I just got a new computer to replace the broken old labtop I've been using up to this point, so I need to do some document transfering and whatnot. I'll be able to type even more now!Until next time, chow!**


	25. Chapter 25

The Best Party EVAR!

I got a What Now?

For the next three day…best three days of my life.

Seriously, every other party I ever been to…Completely blown away.

The entire town was turned into a dance floor PLUS Buffet PLUS Drink stand. Every minute I was either eating, singing, or laughing. I would dance and sing, eat while laughing, and well…yeah…AWESOMENESS!

I got in an eating contest with Luffy every meal time.

Breakfast: DRAW

Brunch: DRAW

Lunch: DRAW

Dinner: DRAW

We would sit at the table and just consume plat after plate. Sometime Luffy would eat the plate and I would gain a lead, but he would catch up. We would hit the table at the same time and shout, "MORE!"

It was a blast. On my eating breaks I found the band. I borrowed one of their guitars and sing some of my favorite songs. The drums and bass would try to support me, guessing how it would go; they were pretty accurate though.

I sang some of the one piece openings, some songs from BECK, or other songs that I knew that I just liked. Everyone would cheer and clap at the end asking for more. So I agreed, every time, until meal time of course.

I was also pretty good at dancing, showing some dance moves that were _out of this world_. Hehehe…yeah I know, dumb joke. I saw Sanji trying to dance with the girls and _woo_ them, but he seemed like he was having fun. So I let him go…this once.

I even decided one afternoon I would enter the drinking contest. I think Michael had been working his magic because I didn't even feel a thing after my 10 tank (is that what there called, tanks?) I got first place, even beat Zoro. He passed out and I acted drunk because…well if you saw a guy drink 20 tanks of alcohol and not even seem drunk wouldn't you accuse of foul play?

I had to thank Michael; he kept me going through the whole thing. He said he was able to take the energy of those fishmen souls and turn them into access energy that he can use from now on. Like a shot of adrenaline. Only no crashing.

I also saw Usopp on top of his…stage…platform…alter…whatever telling everyone how cool he was. I was still "intoxicated" so I climbed up there and we sang about Usopp. I don't know why, I just felt like acting stupid. It was fun.

It was the best three days of my life. I couldn't find Nami though. I saw her from time to time, watching me eat with Luffy, seeing me sing on stage, at the drinking contest, but when I turned around she was gone.

She was probably getting that tattoo removed now. I don't blame her. Now that it's gone, Arlong has nothing to do with her anymore.

Everyone was about to pass out in the street when I felt like paying my respects to Bellemere's grave. I leaped of the stage and darted straight for the cliff.

I found Luffy being yelled at by Genzo.

"If any of you do anything to hurt her I'll kill you." He said.

"Were not going to hurt her." Luffy said with two stick of mutton in his mouth.

"YOU SURE?" He snapped at Luffy.

"We will never hurt Nami!" I said to him. He saw me and sneered.

"You better keep your promise boy. If you go back on it, and break Nami's heart, I will KILL YOU!"

I snapped back at him. "I WILL NEVER LET NAMI SUFFER! I WILL LEAP INTO HELL AND BACK FOR HER SAKE! YOU GOT THAT OLD MAN? I LOVE NAMI!"

He took a drink from his bottle and took a long sigh. "Well then, I'll leave her in your hands then." He said and walked past us.

"Wait!" I yelled to him. He turned around and I stuck out my hand to him.

"Shake on it! I promise to never to let Nami get hurt!" I said firmly to him. He walked up to me and grabbed my hand.

"I'll keep you to that promise." He said back at me, shook my hand, and continued down the path.

"You love Nami?" Luffy asked me, looking confused.

"Yeah. Is that a problem Captain?" I asked him.

"Nope! It's ok!" He said, and was about to leave before I stopped him.

"Don't you think you should pay your respects to Nami's mom?" I asked him.

His mouth dropped to the ground. "NAMI'S MOM?"

We sent the next several minutes in silence. I told Luffy the story about Nami and her mother, and the death of their mother. Luffy still had about a dozen mutton sticks in his hands, I was on my knees praying. I'm a catholic, I can do that.

I didn't know if I should pray to my god or One Piece god, or I should talk to Bellemere. So I said this.

"Bellemere. I know that you loved your daughters very much. You even gave your life so they could live. And I know I couldn't possibly love Nami more than you did."

Luffy looked at me in silence.

"But I will do everything in my power to protect her. I will…I will…I will take care of her, and keep her safe. And if the situation demands it…then I will give my life to save her! So…you can rest easy. Because Screaver Bartel will never go back on his word!"

"That was a nice thing to say!" Luffy told me.

"What about you?" I asked him.

He thought for a moment, looked at the grave, and said, "What he said!"

I smacked him upside the head and told him he was stupid.

"What? It's true?" He whined.

I shrugged and said, "Come on Captain, let's go back."

We sent the morning loading crates and barrels on the Merry Go. If felt like so long since the last time I saw that ship. After getting all the supplies on board, Johnny and Yozaku told us good bye.

"I hope we see you again someday!" They cheered.

"See ya around." Zoro told them.

_Yeah right…well…I'll still hope._

"Hey wait a minute! We can't leave without Nami!" Sanji complained.

"Maybe she's not coming." Zoro suggested. Sanji went into a fury about that.

"WITHOUT NAMI I HAVE LIKE 98.72% LESS REASON TO STAY ON THIS STUPID PIRATE SHIP!"

I wondered what the last 1.18% was. Oh well…not important.

Nami appeared on the top of the hill and yelled at us to sail off. She then ran through the crowd of people who tried to stop her so they could thank her. I was at the very south of the ship, standing near the railing. After Nami ditched the crowd, she lifted her head and yelled, "Hey Screaver! CATCH!"

"Huh?" Was my brilliant response. She leaped through the air, a little too far actually. She was going to hit something if I didn't do something. Unfortunately that thing had to be me.

-BAM-

She collided with my stomach and landed on top of me. She ended up sitting right on top of me, and there I was; flat on my back with a hot chick on my chest. Nice…

She sat up and lifted her shirt. I could almost see…

"Whoa Nami…I uh…didn't think you would this far…" I muttered.

Dozens, dare I say hundreds of wallets, purses, and coin bags fell out of her shirt. Wow…she really is the best thief out there.

"You wretched thieving BRAT! WE"LL MISS YOU!" The towns people cried out.

We waved back.

"HEY BOY! REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU!" Genzo told me.

I stood up, walked out to the railing and yelled even louder, "I TOLD _YOU_! MY NAME IS SCREAVER BARTEL! NOT _BOOOOOY_!"

Ha…got that joke in one last time today.

"Hey Screaver! Take care of my sister! Ok?" Nojiko yelled out.

I waved in approval.

"YOU TWO BE GOOD TO EACH OTHER!" She yelled out even louder.

I blushed, Nami just smiled and waved back.

"WHAT DID SHE SAY? WHAT DID YOU DO SCREAVER?" Sanji said in rage.

Oh shit…it begins…

"Uhh…nothing…you know…just that confession that's all…hehe." I said weakly. I looked at Nami with pleading eyes, she met my look with a sort of evil look. But she kept quite…for now.

"Good bye everybody! I'll miss you!" Nami cried out to her hometown.

We all shouted good byes until the island dropped out of range.

Can't believe that for the next several hours, things seemed…normal.

Usopp was at his workshop making special stars, Luffy was trying to get something to eat from Nami's new orange trees, Sanji was guarding said orange trees, Zoro was taking a nap, and Nami was arguing with some sort of newspaper bird.

"Raise your prices one more time and I'll stop buying!" She said and it flew off.

"Oh yeah, like they'll run out of customers anytime soon." I joked.

She turned to face me and that same smile appeared on her face. I gulped.

"So Screaver…I had a change of heart with your debt to me." She said.

"Oh really…like you'll drop the whole thing and we'll call us fair?" I said weakly.

"Nope! I think I'll take off that discount and raise it to 200,000 berris." She said with a wicked grin.

I stood up and yelled, "HEY! I _GAVE_ YOU OVER 100,000,000 BERRIS WORTH OF TREASURE BACK THERE! THAT DOESN'T COUNT FOR ANYTHING?"

"It would, had you not assaulted me like that." She said slightly louder so Sanji could hear.

"WHAT DID YOU DO SCREAVER?" Sanji grabbed my neck and started shaking. I got pissed and twisted his wrist.

"BACK OFF PERV, I…uh…I…IT WASN'T LIKE THAT?"

Sanji was throwing kicks my way.

"I'M NOT THE ENEMY!"

"ANY MAN WHO ASSULTS A WOMEN IS A ENEMY OF MINE!"

Shit. Nami has him twisted around her little finger.

"Relax Sanji, I was just teasing…right Screaver?" She smiled at me.

_Blackmailing, money grubbing, hot and sexy…whow my mind just got off track._

I groaned. "UUUUUUUhhhh…FINE! I was already going to pay you back! I promised!"

She nodded. "And now you just have to pay double! Sanji, go back to guarding my trees, please. Luffy is getting too close." She said, and she sat back down reading her newspaper.

"YES NAMI MY SWEEEEET!" Sanji cheered, and he wiggled away.

_Nice…getting blackmailed by Nami like that for kissing her._ Michael said.

_Keep it up. Next time we spar…I'll use my guns._

Nami was reading the paper until another smaller piece of paper fell out. I knew what it was…

I looked at the warrant, and something was off.

It said:

DEAD OR ALIVE: MONKEY D. LUFFY; 40,000,000 Berri

Wasn't it supposed to be 30 mil?

Oh well, just a bigger number, that's all.

"HAHAHAHA! Check it out guys, were wanted criminals!" Luffy hoisted up his wanted poster in triumph.

"40 million berries? That's quite a lot." I said.

The other guys were cheering about there good luck, but Nami slammed her paper down and showed her disapproval.

When she through down the paper, something else flew out the newspaper. What ever it was caught a gust of wind and hit me in the face.

-SMACK-

"MMMMMwmwtfmmm!" I cursed.

"Hey, what's that?" Sanji asked and peeled it off my face. He looked at it, and the cigarette fell out of his mouth. Usopp looked at it as well, and jaw dropped as well.

"What? What is it?" I asked and ripped it from his hands.

My jaw dropped as I looked at it. It was another wanted poster, but you'll never believe what it said.

DEAD OR ALIVE: SCREAVER "BAZOOKA" BARTEL; 30,000,000 Berri

It had a picture of me with my Death Stare on. My face was half covered in shadows, and I looked like I was about to jump right out and murder someone.

Oh…my…GOD! I have a warrant? For what? Threatening a marine officer…Yeah that would do it.

"WHOA! Screaver! You have a wanted poster for 30,000,000 berris!" Usopp said, stating the facts.

"NO WAY! HE GOT A POSTER BUT I DIDN'T? WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!" Sanji complained.

Nami groaned even louder because _now_ we have even more trouble to worry about. We have Luffy with 40 mil, and me with 30 mil. It someone captured the whole crew, that would be 70 mil! I don't know how much that is in American…it has to be a lot!

Personally, I was excited. I got a wanted poster, sooner than expected actually. I thought I would have to wait under Water 7, or maybe Arabasta to get a poster myself. But I got one right along side Luffy. Pretty cool.

Although I wonder what his friends and other people with think with my picture roped in with his crew. They might get some strange ideas. And I looked damn scary. I don't seem like tha guy you want to find in a dark alley.

"Geesh Screaver, you look kinda scary in your picture. While Luffy's looks so…innocent." Usopp told me.

"Whatever." I dismissed him, climbed up to the crows nest, and took a nap.

I woke up some time later. I heard some screaming somewhere on the side of the ship.

Oh, it was just Iron Fist somebody. _Just ignore it._

Oh why not. I got up and peaked over the side of the nest. I saw a marine ship on our left side. It was in real bad shape too. Patches, rusted metal plates, it was like someone just walked to a scrap yard and threw a ship together.

"Monkey D. Luffy and Bazooka Bartel, you're under arrest!" I heard Fullbody yell.

Oh goody, my first attacker.

I got up and saw one of there cannons aim towards our ship. Well that's something I couldn't let happen.

As the cannon was about to fire, I aimed my bazooka at the cannon and fired.

-KABOOM-

The whole cannon was obliterated in a cloud of dust, leaving behind a very dirty and very terrified marine.

Fullbody's face was priceless! Eyes bugging out, mouth hanging open, just hilarious.

"Hey! I said I got this!" Zoro complained.

"I didn't hear you! I'm all the way up here you know!" I yelled back at him.

Fullbody lead his men onto the ship for a melee assault, but Luffy took care of him and Sanji came out of the kitchen and beat the rest of them. They didn't need my help, I just watched the fight with my head resting on the edge of the crows nest.

Sanji intimidated Fullbody, which was pretty difficult when you're wearing a pink apron. But he probably scared the guy shitless and he abandoned ship, along with the rest of his men.

"Come on you guys, will you keep it down! Honestly! I can't even sit and read a paper!" Nami complained.

"Hold on. One last thing to take care of." I said. I aimed my gun one more time and put a hole in their ship.

"Hey! Why'ja do that?" Luffy yelled at me.

"Trust me. Douche bags like him deserve to be at the bottom of the ocean." I said.

_Well, now you probably eliminated both of that Cage Cage Woman's henchmen. Jango and this guy._ Michael told me.

_One saga at a time Michael. Besides, it's better that way…I think._

Everyone was discussing on how we would get to the Grand Line. I knew how, so I just layed my head back down while they were talking.

"Hey! Screaver! You get that?" I heard Usopp yell up at me.

"Huh? Yeah yeah…Reverse Mountain…Log Town…etc. I got it." I told him.

Man I need some sleep!

"Hey Screaver! Lunch is ready!" Sanji yelled to me.

Oh well, sleep will always wait for food.


	26. Chapter 26

A Look to the Michael's Past

The Worst Job of all Creation

I woke up in the middle of the night. Everyone was still asleep, the sun was still down, but for _some reason_ I just happened to wake up.

_Great…what now?_

"Need a sparing partner?" A sarcastic voiced called from the deck.

I peered down and saw Michael, in his gray suit, smiling up at me. I grinned back and thought I would get the drop on him. I leaped from the crows nest and planned to land on him by surprised.

Unsuprisingly he anticipated my move, pulled of his coat, and swung it over himself to catch me while he ducked out of the way. I rolled back up to my feet, throwing his coat over the ship.

"You know those coats aren't cheap." He told me taking of his shades. He had a black button-down shirt on. He rolled up his sleeves and put up his fists.

"Do I look like I give a damn?" I said back at him, slipping into my boxer stance.

Michael just chuckled and said, "Oh well, I get another one eventually. HAVE AT YOU!"

* * *

I have to say I was doing a lot better than last time. Almost none of his fists hit me, I worked around his footwork, and even landed a few hits on him. But it took a long time to do that, and I still had to focus most of my energy to block his punches and chops.

After a few hours the sun began to rise. I was drenched in sweat again, so was Michael. We both had sweat stains on the armpits of our shirts and around our necks. We sat down on the deck, looked at each other, and let out a laugh. I don't know why, just felt like laughing.

"That was an excellent match Screaver! I almost had to use 50% of my power!" Michael told me.

"Bullshit! You couldn't beat me even at 100% Michael!" I said back at him.

He laughed again and got to his knees. He was breathing heavily. I never seen him like that before.

"You ok Michael? You never seemed like this after our last fight." I said with concern.

"I guess it's finally happening." He said with grief.

"Huh?"

"Nothing that bad. Well…were not in the human world anymore. In the human world I had immortality and infinite power. But now were in the One Piece world, and my source of power doesn't exist here."

"What do you mean? Are you dying?"

"Oh no no no…not that. I'm just…loosing power that's all. I still retained my powers, but I'm starting to feel and breathe like a human."

"What are you to begin with?" I asked him once again.

He shrugged. "Well, my kind hasn't been named by humans since no one knows we exist. But if you would allow me to say…we are like a combination of Fates from Greek mythology, angels from Christianity, a few chinese myths here and there, put it in one big pot, and delude it down by about 24.7%."

"Huh?" I said again.

"We can predict the future, but only the future of the person we are assigned to. When we aren't assigned to a person, the only break time for us, we remained in a separate dimension. There we...we use our powers selfishly, fight one another, create things just too brutishly tear them down. It isn't a pretty picture."

"Do you do these things?" I asked him.

"I did…at first. In our dimension, we use our powers as much as we can in the one year break between being assigned to another human for about 80 or so years. We create food just to taste, structures just to tear down, and women just to…well you know. I did these things as well. I remember recreating the whole city of New York then chopped down the Empire State Building and just watched the people die…of course they weren't real but…there screams…" He turned away and stared into space for a moment.

"And you people are supposed to be the voices of reason? You murder, rape, and ravage in your spare time!"

"After spending 80+ years in the mind of some dumb shmuck who is driven to isolation from his so called brilliant ideas about creating a chemical that could kill an person in just 2 minutes, don't think we have the RIGHT to release our pent up aggression towards those people?" He was yelling now.

"Hey hey…calm down. I'm sorry." I apologized. He seemed to snap out of his funk and fell to the ground.

"We use this year to release all our anger, all our rage. Every time we wish we could tell him to shut the hell up…we release it all in one year. I seemed to get the worst of it. I was with some of the most "infamous" people of all time; Attila the Hun, Henry the VIII…I think whoever chose these people for me were just trying to break my mind…I would always get a person destined to be a mass murderer, or a corrupt leader." He said shaking. He was holding himself, looking completely spooked out.

"Every year I got I was close to tearing the dimension into pieces. I was regarded as one of the top...whatever we were. I would make copies of those men die in horrible ways. I impaled Attila on a bed of burning spikes. I beheaded Henry over and over again. Other I...I don't want to think about. But they were just copies…never felt the same."

I stared at him, speechless. What was I supposed to do?

"I would do worse than that. Some of my brothers would fight one another with armies of soldiers. I would have them try to take me on all together. I would eliminate them all. We may be immortal, but getting your head chopped off would still hurt. I would torture them, hang them, have them raped by other men, and then let them loose. Everyone feared me. I had no one else, but my copies. And no amount of women that I created would satisfy me. I would continue until I was to be sent to the next bane of the world, and keep him on his path of evil. It…sickened me. And every time I came back…I went into my newly created fortress or castle and drink a glass of cheap wine. Always made me feel bad, just how I like it."

I walked over to him, and did what came natural to me. I smacked him upside the head. He seemed affected by my hit and was flung to the ground. He got back up, about the yell at me, but I grabbed him by the collar.

"DO I REALLY GIVE A SHIT?" I yelled at him. He was speechless. "You know that if you're trying to make me feel sorry for your ass, it ain't gonna work! I don't care if you murdered millions of people! I don't care if you had massive orgies of women and then blew up the building! I wouldn't even care it you blew up the fucking planet! It never happened right? Like you were watching a movie, or playing a video game! You are with ME now. Not Atila. Not Hitler. ME! SCREAVER BARTEL! It doesn't matter to me if you did all that stuff in a dimension no one gave a damn about! You obviously changed! You're a better person than that guy who killed men who didn't follow him, that other guy who killed his wives, or that other singing pansy who killed Jews!" I was yelling in his face.

"But…but…I let all that happen! I was forced to, or I would die!" He yelled at me.

"Huh?"

"We have three rules in our work. 1. No use of our power outside our dimension. 2. Never leave the mind of your person. 3. Do not lead your person off his path. If any of these rules are broken…we are erased from existence."

I stared at him, and hit him again.

"OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"That was for the Jews!" I yelled at him.

He was red in the face. "WHAT DID I JUST SAY YOU FUCKING IDIOT?"

He was breathing heavily and looked very angry. I just stood there and smiled.

"In the 18 years you've been with me…not once did you cuss. Until now…"

He calmed down. He fell to his knees. Tears filled his eyes. "I'm…I'm…such an idiot. I've let so many people die…I…I'm…"

"A screw up?" I guessed. He looked up at me.

"Well guess what…so am I!" I said smiling, and let out a loud laugh. Michael was stunned, then he wiped the tears form his eyes and laughed with me. We were laughing out loud, as loud as possible. I gave him a hand and helped him up.

"Were here now. Not in human world, or your playground of a dimension. Relax. We'll be here for a long time. And when I die, you can die with me, at my side. Sound like a plan?"

"But…I'm still immortal. And when you die, I'll return to my dimension, and face punishment."

"Nope." I told him. He stared at me.

"I'll kill you before that happens." I said smiling at him. His eyes opened wide at me.

"Yep, I'll somehow get rid of your immortality, and then you can die with me. You won't ever have to go to another murderer again, or be erased from existence. Because, hey…I'M SCREAVER BARTEL!" I announced.

He looked at me hopefully. He smiled, stood up and held out his hand. His jacket flew out from somewhere, dried and pressed, and put it on.

"I'll hold you to that promise. You better keep it." He said fixing his shades.

"Now I have another promise to keep. And hey, we're in One Piece! All kinds of crazy shit happens here!" I said cheerfully.

I shook his hand and he turned around. Before he disappeared, he looked back at me and said, "Hey Screaver. In all 995,870,214 years of my existence, I never met a man better than you. Thank you."

"No man is better, or was ever better, than Screaver Bartel!"

He gave me a warm smile, and faded away.


	27. Chapter 27

Arriving at Lougetown

Gotta Get Some Cash!

It was morning. Sanji and Usopp were setting the sails, Zoro was pumping water, and Luffy was bugging Zoro. I didn't know what else to do, so I started swapping the deck. Did a pretty good job too, if I do say so myself.

"Hey Zoro! Let's play tag!" Luffy was bugging Zoro about.

Usopp joined in as well. "Ooooh! I'll play!"

Zoro declined, but Usopp said snidely, "Oh he's just scared that he's going to lose!"

Zoro whirled back around and said, trying to suppress his anger, "That's not what I meant you dumbass!"

He started chasing them, right on my newly clean floor!

"HEY! I JUST CLEANED THAT DECK YOU ASSHOLES! STOP MESSING IT UP!" Luffy and Usopp already got dirt on the deck, again. Zoro too. They were ignoring me until I stuck out my fist just as Luffy was running in my direction and hit him in the face.

"Tag! You're out! And now you have to mop!" I yelled at him.

"HEY! I can't mop!" Luffy complained. I tossed the mop in his face and turned around. "Not my problem. You make the mess, you clean it! That was my parent's philosophy."

Luffy looked at the mop, then looked up at me and smiled. "You had parents? What were they like?"

_Oh shit. I haven't thought up that far yet._

"Hey you morons! The foods ready!" Sanji yelled at us. Luffy threw the mop up and shouted, "YAY!"

The mop almost fell overboard had I not have caught it. I rested it against the side of the ship and walked toward the galley, last one to be precise.

Luffy had already gone to town on the food. Usopp was complaining at him for stealing _his_ food, Nami was reading the newspaper, Sanji was cooking more helpings, and Zoro was sitting on the floor taking a snooze.

_It's scenes like this that make me happy to be a strawhat._

"Hey Screaver! You didn't tell me about your parents!" Luffy said with his mouth still full of food.

"Umm…uh…" I didn't know what to say. I haven't come up with that part in my "history" in One Piece. I need more time.

"Come on Luffy, he obviously doesn't want to talk about it. Give it a rest." Usopp said, thankfully.

* * *

After several more hours of sailing, we finally made it to Lougetown. It was massive! Shops, houses, and markets as far as the eye could see. The entrance was just a simple archway with the name imprinted on it.

"Whoooohoooo! This is going to be FUN!" Luffy shouted.

"Hot damn! This place is huge!" I said.

"All pirates going to the Grand Line stop here to resupply. It has everything you could possibly need." Nami said.

"If that's the case, I'm going on a shopping spree!" Usopp cheered.

"I'll be able to stock up on fresh produce…and fresh women!" Sanji said with his sly smile.

I was about to knock him in the head when I remembered, _oh yeah! He never gets any women!_

"You think they have a sword smith here?" Zoro asked. Nami turned around with a money grubbing smile and leaned up to him.

"I thought you were broke…are you going to steal a sword?" She said in a cutesy way. Oh boy he does NOT want to get involved with her and money. _Believe me I know._

"Well…I'm going to find where they kill people." Luffy told us out of nowhere and darted off into the crowd. Usopp tried to call him back, but I patted him on the shoulder and told him it was a lost cause.

"Well, lets split up and meet at the execution platform, since Luffy will probably stay there for a while." I said to everyone.

"Sounds good!" Usopp said, and he and Sanji left. Zoro was about to ask Nami for money when I looked at him straight in the face and said, "You don't want to owe her money…It will bite you in the ass. Believe me, I know."

He nodded at me, but he needed three more swords. So…he inevitably went to her for money anyway.

"Oh Screaver!" Nami cooed at me.

"Whaaaaaaat?" I groaned at her.

"If I'm going to buy things, I need someone to carry them for me…Will you please escort me?" She said with her hands folded, looking as cute as possible.

It worked. I was probably blushing and I slowly nodded my head. She smiled, grabbed my arm, and pulled me along.

* * *

I spent the next hour in…my personal fantasy. Every few minutes Nami would come out of the clothing booth in a slutty or revealing outfit, make a gorgeous pose, and then twirl around and change clothes. I was just sitting there, mouth hanging open, and nodding every time she came out. There was a tailor there and he was shouting complements to her every time as well, I couldn't even speak. One of them was sort of cowboy corset with a fur coat and a REALLY small fur skirt, another was a red satin dress that showed her cleavage and a fur scarf. Every outfit, I saw her in every FUCKING outfit. I was lucky I didn't pass out I was so light headed.

The clerk had a hanger for a hairstyle. He was ringing up her clothes. I would have laughed my ass off if, you know…NAMI WASN'T FUCKING THERE!

"May I deliver these to your lodging?" He said delightfully.

Nami grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my chair. I was still lightheaded but at least my pants had calmed down. I don't think anyone saw my…I won't go into detail.

"No thanks! A little to expensive for my taste." She said as we walked out the door.

"Thank you, come again!" The clerk yelled at us with tears in his eyes.

Nami continued for a few feet and then turned around to me.

"You having fun?" She told me like I was some little kid.

I couldn't form complete words yet, so I just said, "uuuuuuuuuh?"

She giggled and then said, "It will probably cost you about 500 berri per outfit you saw me in. So you now owe me another 10000 berri."

I woke up instantly. My drowsiness was replaced by anger. "WHAAAAAT?" I yelled. Some other people looked at me.

"Hey, you think the show was free?" She said evilly.

"Ok…Seriously…How is…What…I just…What the fuck? Is this really how…I shouldn't even be surprised!" I yelled in agony. I mean I had a point; she did steal all the wallets from her home town when she decided to leave them for a long time.

I shook her hand off me and went in the opposite direction.

"Screaver! I was just teasing! Come on!" She called back to me. I turned around and gave her a dirty look.

"It won't be nearly that much!" She tried to sway be. I just looked up and gave a huge scoff.

"Find a new pack-donkey to carry your stuff! Maybe you'll relate to it seeing how you're such an ass!" I yelled at her.

She pouted at my joke and walked over to me. "Other people don't owe me money!" She was pouting all cutesy again. _No no, mustn't be trick like that again._

"Look, I got things I should take care of. It's a pirate port right? Plenty of souls to be harvested. Good day!" I told her and left.

* * *

I think Nami was following me for a while, but I was able to loose her in a crowd of people. Finally, my exploration of Lougetown can begin.

Before I could even go a step further, a little girl with an ice cream cone rushed by me. She almost ran into me, but I dodged her. Another guy, I think her father, was telling her to slow down. Until she ran into another person.

-SPLAT-

She ran into a huge, albino looking man. Pale skin, white hair, with a white jacket on that had way too many cigars strapped to it. He had two of them in his mouth. He glared downward at the girl, looking like he would punt her over a few houses.

_Captain Smoker._

The smoke was almost unbearable for me. I was starting to cough. The little girl was almost in tears, until Smoker put his hand on her head and patted it. He then handed her a few coins right after he said…the line.

"I'm sorry; my silly pants have eaten all your ice cream. Here, go buy yourself 5 scoops."

Oh my god, I lost it. I was laughing and coughing like crazy. Good thing I wasn't near him, so he didn't hear me. But that line is my absolute favorite line in all of One Piece. I'm serious, I laugh every single time I heard it. I mean…IT'S SO DAMN FUNNY!

He and a marine were walking towards me, the smoke was getting to me. I bent over and starred coughing more. He looked down at me and said, "You ok son?"

I would have probably decked him for saying that, but I wasn't in any shape fighting Smoker. Hell, Luffy can't even beat him.

"Just…_cough_…allergic to…_cough_…to smoke." I struggled to say.

"Well…let me get out of your way then." He said politely said back to me, and continued down the street.

What a nice guy…you know…except for being a marine and me being a pirate. He seems like the ideal marine. Incredibly strong, but nice to the citizens, and _not_ a corrupt douche-nozzle like that rat bastard.

That other marine with him had a few wanted posters with him. Luffy's and most likely mine. I hightailed it out of there down the path.

* * *

I was exploring the market. I saw stalls with fish, fruit, odds and ends, even clothes. Lots and lots of awesome stuff. Except…I'M FLAT BROKE!

I wandered into some sort of game area with those kind of carnival games. Maybe one has a cash prize? I searched until I found a stall offering 10000 berri. And admission was only one coin. Lucky I was able to find a dirty coin on the ground. Perfect.

"Step up and try! Shoot the bottles down and win 10000 berri! Try as much as you like! Use your own guns!" The man said. I watched several people try and shoot it down with several guns. One guy had a pistol, another a rifle. The bullets would either miss or bounce off. Other people saw it wasn't possible. I could already tell the bottles were weighted down. A scam.

"Anyone please! Try as you like!" The man in charge had a top hat and had a big smile on his face.

I stepped up and gave him my dirty coin. He took it and looked at me.

"I don't see a gun on you?" He told me frowning.

"It's ok, I got this." I said and walked past him. I stood up to the platform, and held up my fist. I aimed it at the bottles.

The audience was skeptical to say the least. Some were laughing, some telling me to not try. I wasn't going to listen. Their tune changed when I flashed out my bazooka.

"Whoa! He…he must have a devil fruit!" One of them shouted.

I aimed, and fired.

-KABOOM-

My shot collided with the bottles and they blew up in a cloud of dust. It even pierced through and blew a hole in the wall! All that was left was…well there wasn't anything there really. The audience were shocked. The top hat guy's jaw dropped to the floor. He was holding a bag of money, so I withdrew my gun, walked over to the man, and took my money.

"I win." I told him, and walked away.


	28. Chapter 28

A Battle Between Cooks

I Get Paid To Eat Food?

I have 10000 berri. I don't know how much that is, but it had to be something. Still no close to the 200000 I owe Nami, but this is _my_ spending money! I looked through all the stalls. Nothing that caught my eye. Some interesting knick knacks, but nothing I really liked. Usually when I go to a place, on vacation or a trip, I buy a hat. I couldn't find a hat though. All this stuff and I couldn't find a damn hat!

And they had a lot of stuff. Toy guns, fresh fish, daggers, bands, bracelets, picture frames, pillows, rings, ear rings, toe rings, belly button rings, cards, bottles of beer, sheets of paper, fruit, and everything from A-Z, but no hats!

After a lot of searching, I found a hat. It looked like…for some reason…a baseball cap. It was army green with a shark stitched on the front and had some Japanese letters on it. It was only 80 berri. SOLD!

I wore my new hat proudly. Hey, I'm a man of simple pleasures. And this was also my first purchase in the One Piece world. That also made me happy.

I was walking around until I saw something else that caught my eye. It was…_ok my believes have there limits…_A game boy color.

I'm dead serious! A GAME BOY COLOR! I swear! It was right there, among a pile of other junk! An old, faded, yellow game boy color. I picked it up, and found the switch. No response, no batteries. DAMN IT ALL!

_Another anomaly. I guess it can take things from other places too. But the technology hasn't been developed here. Should probabaly hide take it._ Michael commented.

_Does me no good, seeing how it has no batteries._ I moaned.

_I could give you some batteries._ Michael said.

_OH COULD YOU? PRETTY PLEASE?_

_You kinda have to buy it first._ He said.

_Oh…yeah…right._

"Um, sir. How much for this?" I asked the clerk.

"Oh that thing? It was found buried somewhere. We cleaned it, but it doesn't do anything. It does have some sort of language on it, I can't read it. I'll sell it to you for…oh…300 berri."

"SOLD!" I shouted, tossed him the money and ran off.

_Ok Michael, do your thing!_

_Are you ok Screaver? You seem a little…too excited._

_I HAVEN'T HAD CONTACT WITH A COMPUTER OR VIDEO GAME FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG! I NEEEEEEEEED THIS! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!_

_Ugh fine, but ONLY when you need a break. I can't have you going soft on me. I'll power it when were on the ship. Until then, NO GAME BOY!_

_You suck. You really suck, you know that right?_

Ugh. Well I put the game boy in my pocket and continued looking at everything. I saw Nami and Usopp being confronted by some cloaked dude, but Nami was there so I thought I shouldn't be anywhere near there. I darted of in the opposite direction.

* * *

I found Sanji being confronted by some lady in a red dress with red hair and…a ladle in her mouth, Then some retarded looking midgets jumped out of nowhere and I decided to leave him to deal with them on his own. It's Sanji…he'll be ok.

I was about to leave, if it weren't for that constant clicking in my ear.

"God damn it! Shut up! I get it, your Spanish! Shut the fuck up with the clicking!" I yelled out. People stared at me, I looked back at them and gave them an evil glare. They backed off.

-BAM-

Sanji was on his knees, about to kiss the red woman on the hand, but instead he got a face full of an iron pan. HA HA HA HA! THAT'S HILARIOUS!

She then went rambling on how she was so damn good at cooking, and she beat a whole bunch of other god damn cooks, and how (and I quote), "I spent every minute of the last 10 years searching the entire East Blue…for you!"

"Actually it has been 10 days. Carmen has a wincy problem with the thing we call the truth." Her assistants said. She bashed them both upside the head and yelled, "SHUT YOUR MOUTHS!"

She bashed them upside the head with her pan. I was laughing my ass off.

She whirled back around and pointed at Sanji, declaring her challenge with Sanji at the cook off. Then twirled around and seemingly disappeared in a tornado, laughing like a mentally handicapped person. She passed out and her assistants carried her off.

Well, that was weird. _Time to keep moving_.

* * *

I founded the market place and saw where the competition was being held. I found the judges table, and saw a group of people looking worried. I walked up to them and asked them, "Something wrong?"

He turned to see me, and they seemed to look hopeful. "You sir, you look like a man who loves to eat right?"

I nodded. "The day is never complete if I don't eat my weight's worth of high quality meals."

They laughed. "Splendid! Look, we need your help. One of our judges got food poisoning and can't judge the contest with us. We need someone to take his place. Will you please step in as his replacement judge? We can pay you!"

_Is it me, or is this my lucky day?_

"ABSOLUTLEY!" I cheered.

"Splendid!" He said merrily.

_Michael, is it me, or is this my fucking lucky day?_

_It is your FUCKING lucky day!_ He said happily.

I saw several people carry in this mammoth fish! It was blue with big floppy ears and horns! I think it's called the Elephant tuna, the fish Sanji wants to cook someday. Well maybe I could help with that.

"THE ANNUAL COOKING FESTIVITIES ARE ABOUT TO START! THE GREATEST COOKS FROM THE EAST BLUE ARE HERE TODAY!" A man announced on a microphone. Everyone was jammed packed in the area to watch this. I guess this must be some kind of sport? Uh…pretty weird to turn cooking into a sport like football. Oh well, it's One Piece.

I saw Sanji confronting Carmen, again. I walked over to him and surprised him.

"WHOA! What are you doing here?" He asked. I told him how I'm a judge here and he was shocked.

"Look, just because you are a judge, don't choose my food just because we're crewmates. There's no honor in that."

"Relax. If your food sucks, I won't choose it. Plain and simple." I told him. He was ready to kick me until he saw Nami and Usopp in the crowd (well he probably only saw Nami) and danced off to see her. I went back over to the judges table.

"OK! JUST FOR TODAY WE HAVE CHOSEN A MEMBER OF THE AUDIENCE TO BE ONE OF OUR JUDGES TODAY! SAY HELLO TO…SCREAMER!"

I picked up my mic and shouted, "ITS SCREAVER, DUMBASS!"

That got a laugh from the audience. I saw Nami and she was staring at me like, _how did HE get there?_ I just waved back at her.

I was with a weird collection of judges. Only two looked like actual chefs, one was big and burly, one looked rather scrawny and twitchy. Oh well, at least I looked decent enough.

"LET THE COOKING COMENSE!"

* * *

Hours passed of watching intense cooking battles. But more importantly, I ate so much good food! I could tell which one was better though. This was the best job I ever had! Every round I would eat two dishes and every round I would submit my vote. Sanji's dish was always on top of course. The crowd cheered, the judges ate, and we all had a great time. I also had to admit, Carmen's food was pretty good too. She beat every opponent every time, until it was only Sanji and Carmen left in the finals.

It was an _intense_ final battle, but they both finished on time. Sanji made a whole table of steaks, shrimp stir-fry, crispy filets, potatoes, and everything else. Carmen's table was pretty damn good too, with stuffed crab, smoked fish, sushi, and salads. They were both so damn good! I was almost set on choosing Carmen until I got another taste of Sanji's food. His seemed…I can't describe it…it just felt like it had more…passion? Its taste seemed to touch my heart some way. I mean he cooked this while thinking of his dream so…well I know who I'm going to choose anyway.

I was given the honor of announcing the winner.

"Ok, the winner of this contest, and the best cook in the entire East Blue is…San…"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIT!" Carmen screeched at me.

Everyone gasped, and saw Carmen walk over to Sanji. She then said, "I was foolish, to think I could beat you."

She told him how she watched him as a kid and saw how she wanted to show him how much she improved on her cooking. But she declared, "You the number one cook in the East Blue."

Her voice was shaking. She looked kinda sad. But then Sanji stood up, with his goofy love face on, and said, "THAT'S THE BEST COMPLEMENT ANYONE HAS EVEN GIVEN TO ME! I COULD KISS YOU!"

-BAM-

Her midget assistant intercepted his face with a frying pan. Ah, typical Sanji, never thinking outside of his pants.

She declared forfeit, and the announcer…announced, "AND THE WINNER IS…SAAAAAAAAANJIII!"

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!" The audience cheered. I stood up and cheered as well.

"WAY TO GO PERV!" I cheered. No one heard me…it's my little secret.


	29. Chapter 29

Getting the Fuck Out of Lougetown

The Declaration of an Over-average Delinquent

I put on my hat and left with the others. The people there were so nice to me; they paid me 5000 berri for what I did. I had to hide the money from Nami, or she would steal it. Wait…she might have already stolen it. I also put my game boy in a bag they gave me and slung it over my shoulder. It worked like a backpack really.

I helped Sanji and Usopp carry the fish. Usopp had the head (not to happy about that by the way), I got the middle, and Sanji held up the tail.

Usopp was complaining, Sanji was discussing what to do with the fish, and Nami was leading us through the people. SHe was also carrying a whole buch of shopping bags; typical women. No matter what world you go to, they love to shop. Wow...that was sexist. I'm sorry.

"Wait…there's going to be rain." She said out of nowhere.

"What? It's a sunny day." Usopp said.

"Just trust her. She's and expert." I said.

"We better hurry to the ship." Sanji said.

_Wait…LUFFY!_

"HOLD IT! I GOT TO SAVE LUFFY!" I shouted and let go of the fish. I rushed towards the execution platform, with Nami and Sanji following me, and Usopp struggling to hold up that giant fish in the back. I found Zoro wandering around.

He noticed us and said, "Hey you guys! Have you seen…"

I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him with me.

"HEY! WHAT THE…"

"It's Luffy! No time!"

"What's wrong? Is Luffy in danger?" Sanji asked.

"It's Buggy! He found Luffy!" I shouted to them. Nami's eyes grew wide and she nodded at Zoro, understanding the situation.

"Nami, take Usopp back to the ship. Sanji, Zoro, you come with me. We have some old friends to fight!"

"I'm ready to kill that no good clown this time!" Zoro cheered.

"I'll take your word for it!" Sanji added in.

* * *

We split up and I led my group to the platform. I looked up at the sky and storm clouds rolled in. Dragon must be here now.

We made it to the platform, Luffy's head caught in a lock and Buggy holding a sword near his neck.

We made it just as Luffy announced, "LISTEN! I'M THE MAN WHO WILL BE KING OF THE PIRATES!"

An awe inspiring announcement, but I shouted in response, "HEY TOMATO FACE! GUESS WHOOOOOOOO?"

Everyone looked behind and saw me, Zoro, and Sanji all ready for a fight. Zoro had his bandana tied, Sanji relit his cigarette, and I drew both of my bazookas and aimed them at Buggy. I couldn't fire at him or I might hit Luffy.

"Stop the execution!" Zoro shouted.

"SANJI! SCREAVER! ZORO!" Luffy called out to us in delight.

"How's it hangin Luffy?" I shouted back.

"Luffy you idiot! All that fooling around finally caught up with you huh?" Zoro said as he flicked his sword.

"You staring a side show? Or is that how you look? Seriously. All we got to do is drive all those goons away!" Sanji said as he put on his sly smile.

"Trust me, I've already beaten these guys once! They won't be much trouble." I told him.

"Well that's no good. What's a fight if the enemy isn't a challenge?" Sanji said back at me.

"Well…you got me there!" I shouted and let out a laugh.

"HEY GUYS!" Luffy shouted at us.

"I'm glad you could make it Zoro! But you're just a little too LATE!" Buggy shouted with glee and raised his sword.

All the townspeople ran for cover after they heard Zoro's name. I tightened the straps on my carring sack and said in annoyance, "What am I? Fucking invisible? I have a bounty!"

Zoro instantly drew all three swords and we dashed toward the platform.

"WE GOTTA BRING DOWN THE PLATFORM!" Zoro shouted.

"LEAVE IT TO ME!" I said and rearmed my cannon for long distance. I aimed it as I ran and fire it toward the base. But some of the other pirates got in the way and blocked the blast. Damn kamikaze troopers!

"OK BOYS! LET THEM HAVE IT!" A woman shouted, I couldn't see where. All the other pirates charged at us. I collapsed my other gun and went hand to hand. I deflected one sword and punched the guy in the face with my other hand. I then clocked the next guy in the side and used a bazooka punch on a group of three men. They all were flung into the wall in a cloud of smoke. Zoro and Sanij went to work as well, hacking and kicking pirates as they went. We weren't making much progress. We couldn't make it in time!

I was about to aim my gun at the platform again, now that I was closer and could aim properly, but Buggy let out an evil laugh and said, "NOT EVEN THE GREAT ZORO CAN STOP ME NOW! THERE'S NOTHING YOU THREE CAN DO! THIS IS THE END OF YOUR CAPTAIN!"

He continued to laugh evilly. Only another second!

"Zoro! Sanji! Usopp! Nami! Screaver!" Luffy called out. We all looked up at him as he smiled widely and said, "Sorry! I'm dead!"

_WTF?_

Buggy brought his sword down, seemed like the end for Luffy. But…Hey you know the story.

-BOOM- -ZAP- -KABOOM-

A huge, motherfucking lightening bolt came out of the sky and hit Buggy! Seriously, that boom was so loud my eardrums almost broke! It was all like BOOM! And a blinding light appeared. Then everything was engulfed by a huge blue light as the platform Was set a blaze with a huge blue fire.

_Dragon…you are one crazy son of a bitch!_

The light died as it began to rain. The platform fell over and…Luffy walked out of the wrecked platform, _after_ being struck by magic lightening and then falling from the equivalent of a skyscraper.

_I am not a very religious man but…HOLY FUCKING SHIZNIT!_

Luffy let out a laugh and said cheerfully, "Hey! I'm alive! That's nice!"

Everyone's jaw was basically hitting the fucking floor! Mine included.

"That…was divine intervention." Sanji said as his cigarette fell from his mouth.

"Enough nonsense, we can't stay here. We need to get off this island." Zoro said.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WAS THAT?" I shouted, still completely scared shitless.

"ATTACK!"

Marines rushed from everywhere and surrounded us. The pirates were engaging them the best they could.

I woke up from my mini heart attack and said, "Zoro! Get Luffy! We need to get to the Going Merry and get the fuck out of here!"

He grabbed Luffy by the shirt and shook him out of his jolly mood.

I took out my bazooka and blasted a hole in there line of troops. "THIS WAY! TO THE GRAND LINE!" I shouted at Luffy. We rushed through the hole and darted down the street.

"THE STRAWHATS ARE GETTING AWAY!" One of them shouted.

We were met by a group of marines, but we beat them easily. Sanji kicked them down, Zoro slashed them up, Luffy used his Gum Gum Gatling, and I boxed them into submission.

_It's times like this that makes me proud to be a strawhat._

* * *

"We better pick up the pace or were done for!" Zoro shouted at us. We had been fighting through marine groups and were ready for more. Or at least I was.

"Damn! What's with all this rain?" Zoro yelled out.

"Just keep running! We need to set sail or we'll be here for a while!" I said.

"Run! Just keep running!" Luffy shouted as he ran ahead of us. I would look at the back of us, firing a shot whenever a marine squad got to close.

"OH WOW! WHO IS THAT?" Sanji yelled with a heart in his eye.

We were running until we saw someone blocking our exit. It was some blue haired girl. Oh wait…It's that bitchy marine girl who things she can do what ever the fuck she wants. Duh.

"I didn't know you were Zoro, and a pirate." She said. _Wow, she is dirt stupid._

"You lied. You're just another liar!" She shouted.

"You never asked me what my name was, did you. So I never lie did I?" He stepped forward and pushed away a raging Sanji.

"Seriously, how many people are out there with three swords? You really didn't know it was Zoro? What a dipshit!" I said jokingly.

"Can it Screaver." Zoro told me. I back off.

"There's no way I'll let you leave town with such a legendary sword! GIVE IT TO ME! THE WADO ICHIMANI! RIGHT NOW!"

"What a spoiled bitch." I said. Sanji was about to go all ape-shit on me, but one punch to the head stopped him.

She drew her sword and attacked. Zoro took out his sword and blocked.

"You idiot! You can't fight a girl!" Sanji yelled out, but I hit him again.

"She can take care of herself! She started this fight! Let her finish it! And QUIT HELPING THE ENEMY YOU PERVERT COOK!" I yelled at him.

"He's right. GO TO THE SHIP!" Zoro shouted at us.

"I'm staying! To hold back the marines. And letting you have a fair match!" I said facing the wave of troops.

"Let's go Sanji!" Luffy shouted and they rushed on ahead.

I let two attacks launch and the marines disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Ok! No interference then!" I said merrily. That chick looked disgusted at me, but she had to worry about Zoro right now. They fought for several minutes. Zoro pulled out his second sword and defeated her by flinging her sword across the stone walkway.

"And the winner is…"

"Shut up Screaver!" Zoro shouted at me. He had his sword right next to her head. She was scared, afraid of being killed. But Zoro sheathed his swords and turned away. Her fear turned into anger as she shouted, "WHY DIDN"T YOU KILL ME?"

I smacked my forhead and shouted, "YOU SHOULD BE DAMN GRATEFUL YA STUPID SACK OF MANURE!"

She turned to Zoro and yelled, "I KNOW! IT'S CAUSE I'M A GIRL!"

_UUUUUUUUUUUUUGH…another feminist._

…_I don't know what that really means. It's just that anyone who goes "IT"S CAUSE I'M A GIRL" just sounds like a feminist._

"You may be physically stronger, but you don't have the guts! That sword isn't just for decoration! I don't even think you know what it means to carry a…"

-CLICK-

I flashed stepped toward her and aimed my cannon at her head. She stopped and her anger changed back into fear.

"You want me to do it? Or do you want to take the pity he gave you and go on living you miserable life? Huh? You damn idiot! Take a fucking hint and…"

"SHUT UP SCREAVER!" Zoro yelled at me. I took my cannon away form her head and went down the path.

"You really should shut that mouth of hers now." I said.

"Get moving." He told me.

* * *

I ran down the street when I saw three people. A tall dude in a green cloak, holding onto Smokers arm which was about to grab that pole of his, and Luffy was being pushed into the ground.

I don't know what made me say it, but I just shouted out, "DRAGON!"

He turned around and looked at me. A lightening bolt flashed and I saw his face. He wasn't smiling.

"You…you don't belong…in this world." He said darkly.

_OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT!_

He seemed to think of something. Another flash showed me he turned that frown…upside down?

Ok I deserve to be smacked for that.

He was smiling. "I guess you'll have to make do." He said again, and he looked to the sky.

-WHOOSH-

A huge tornado like gust of green blew through the whole island! Knocking me, Luffy, Smoker, and probably everyone else up too. Everything started to be carried away, broken, or blown so hard that it ripped out of the ground.

* * *

I woke up in the aftermath of the gust. Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp were around me. We all got up and shook off our surprise. I saw in the distance the Merry, with Nami calling out to us to get on.

How you may ask?

Luffy darted off in the opposite direction, jumped onto a house, stretched back until he was about to be flung into us.

What do you think?

-BAM-

We were all sent air born and shot across the ocean. We were all bunched up and slammed into the sail, and fell into a pile almost unconscious.

It was kinda fun.

* * *

We were all setting up the ship and what not (hey I don't know, I just shoot and punch things.) Nami pointed out a light house that was placed on a huge cliff.

"That's on of the guide posts. The entrance to Grand Line must be somewhere ahead!" Nami told us.

"Do we have to go out there in the middle of a freakin hurricane like this?" Usopp complained, hugging the mast.

"Best time to leave I say!" I shouted.

We all agreed.

"Ok then, I think we should say something to mark the occasion!" Sanji said, and he put out a barrel.

_This is it._

Sanji placed his foot on the barrel and said, "I'm going to the Grand Line to find the All Blue!"

Luffy followed and said, "I'm going to be King of the Pirates!"

"The world's best swordsman!" Zoro said.

"I'm going so I can draw a map of the entire world!" Nami cheered.

"I guess I'm going…to be a brave warrior of the sea!" Usopp said nervously.

"What about you Screaver?" Sanji asked.

There was a space for my foot.

_I can't believe it…I…I'm…a strawhat…I'm…so happy! But…what's my dream?_

…_I know my dream._

I put my foot down and shouted, "I want to become a Death Scythe! And use my power to protect the ones I care about! All of you! My crew! My friends! I…I…"

I was crying. Tears were streaming from my eyes.

"I'M SO HAPPY! I WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN!" I declared. Everyone smiled at me. I struggled to smile back as I was crying.

I couldn't feel anything else but pure, wonderful, bliss. My dream is right here. Being with the people I longed to be with for so many years.

I never had people care about me like this. All those assholes I knew back in my old life. Those who hated me, feared me, who didn;t care about me in the least.

But now…I have actual, true, nice friends who gave a shit about me. A 18 year old, otaku delinquent named Screaver Damien Bartel. In the midst of that dangerous hurricane, I felt stronger and more contempt with my life as I ever did.

My real dream already came true…I'm in the world of One Piece! I'm a strawhat! There may be some problems down the road but…who gives a shit at the moment?

We raised our legs high and Luffy shouted, "AND NOW, TO THE GRAND LINE!"

"YEEEAH!"


	30. Chapter 30

Getting to the Grand Line

We Meet A Huge, Motherfucking Whale

"Nami! Rain clouds dead ahead!" I yelled. I had officially become the look out on the strawhat ship. I can't take sleeping inside the ship because of Sanji's smoke and Luffy's snoring, and I prefer to look outside anyway. It also gives me ample time to spar with Michael when I want. Also, I learned how to make my sight zoom in like a scope on bazooka. Well, _my_ bazooka has a scope, and I turn my eyes into a scope I can see farther and with more precision.

It had been three days since we gave our cheer. I still remembered that night fondly. I took care of the ship, swabbing the deck and cleaning the rails, Sanji made our meals that tasted great as usual, and I would play games with Luffy and Usopp. We would play cards, fish, even just run around like a bunch of idiots.

My look out had become my personal area. I had a small box I used as a table, I had a pad and blanket so I could sleep there, and I had a special area where I hid my _secret_ money from Nami.

Michael also kept his word and made the game boy work when I was alone in my nest. And, wouldn't you know it, the game it had was Pokémon Crystal.

_Ah, life is good._

I noticed we didn't have the Warship Island arc as well. Seeing how it was just filler episodes, I would guess that fate didn't see it as important to include in _this_ version of the One Piece world.

Every so often I would feel a dull pain in my chest. Michael said it was my soul decaying. He was doing everything he could to help, but he said that it will only stop once I become a death scythe. But…what the hell am I going to do about a witches soul?

Oh well…back to the present.

I walked into the galley and saw that the whole crew had talked about the entrance and Reverse Mountain. Usopp was struggling with the ruttier, but he gave me the short version.

"Going up a mountain that leads to Grand Line. Got it!"

"Screaver! Help me with the sails!" Sanji yelled at me.

We were tying up the sails as it poured on us. Rain, rain, and more rain. I pulled up the sail and tied it down. Luffy was on the other side, tying the rest of it.

"HEEEEEY! I SEE THE MYSTERY MOUNTAIN!" He shouted.

God damn. No seriously…GOD DAMN!

That mountain…I can't even call it a mountain. Just a entire wall of rock, extending from on side of the horizon to the other. And the height…it made the Empire State Building look small! It was taller than the clouds!

"STRAIGHT AHEAD!" I cheered.

We sailed forward, and saw the entrance. It looked like a crack that split the entire mountain in half. The ship rocked back and forth as we tried to turn until I hear a sound from below.

-SNAP-

"THE RUDDER!" I heard Nami shout.

"GUM GUM…BALLOON!"

Luffy jumped out and inflated his stomach. He caught the ship before it crashed into the rock and turned the ship into the stream. I held out my hand and shouted at him to grab on. He did so.

-SMACK-

He grabbed onto my hand and smacked into the deck of the ship. I looked up and saw…the ocean was going up the fucking mountain! I couldn't believe it!

We were gaining speed as we sailed up the mountain. The wind as blowing in our faces as we passed the clouds.

All I could say as we passed the cloud was, "GOOD FUCKIDY GOD!"

The view was definitely something you should take a picture of if you ever get there. The mountain was still towering over us, even _after_ we passed the clouds. Bright blue sky surrounded us. The water shot up the mountain and created a sparkling shower above us. My god…I think I could cry!

We continued until we were launched off the current and we floated in the air. It was so numbingly cold, I couldn't feel anything but bliss for a second! The water that was shot up froze instantly and shattered, creating those sparkles I mentioned before.

We fell instantly and were flung off the ship for a second. But we fell back to the ship as we were propelled down the current. The current lead to a huge mass of white clouds, thin enough that you could see hundreds…no…THOUSANDS of islands!

_The Grand Line. At last…we made it._

"Let's go!" Luffy cheered.

"YEAH!" We replied.

We raced, no, rocketed down the mountain. We hit the clouds with a –whoosh- and a huge burst of cold mist hit the ship. I had to hold on for dear life to stay in the crows nest!

-UUUUUUUUUUUURRRG-

_What was that?_

-UUUUUUUUURRG-

A loud groaning sound was echoing somewhere in front of us. I used my scoping sight to look through the fog, but I could only make out a large mountain in front of us.

"I SEE A MOUNTAIN! STRAIGHT AHEAD!" I shouted below.

"WHAT? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" Nami shouted back.

"I SEE IT! I SWEAR!" Was all I could say, until the fog cleared and…

Seriously, seeing it in the anime is NOTHING compared to seeing in real life.

…I saw a huge, dark blue, skyscraper of a whale that looked like it was going to crash into us if we kept going. Its head was covered in deep, huge scars.

"IT'S A WHALE!" Usopp shouted in terror.

"I TOLD YOU!" I shouted.

We were all panicking about the fact that A GIANT MOTHERFUCKING WHALE was about to crash into us, but Zoro shouted, "Look! We can get by on the left! HARD TO PORT!"

"THE RUDDER'S BROKEN!" Usopp replied.

_Well, we die before we even started, nice job._ Michael said.

"WAIT! I GOT AN IDEA!" I shouted and jumped to the ground. Luffy dashed inside and I followed.

We made it to the front cannon. I loaded a cannonball into the chamber and Luffy aimed it forward. We lit the match and…

-BOOM-

The cannon blasted the side of the whale, causing the ship to slow down and prevented us crashing. I ran to the deck and saw that the head of the ship got knocked off. It would have crushed me had I not caught it.

"OW! That hurt." I said.

Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp were on the ground seeing if firing the cannon caused the whale to attack us. I sat the head down and watched as well.

Several minutes passed, and no response.

"Damn! Let's get out of here!" Zoro shouted.

We pulled out these massive paddles and rowed the boat past the whale. Zoro and me got the right, Sanji and Usopp took the left. The whale let out another moan that would have made a normal person's ears bleed.

It's one thing to hear it from miles up, is another thing to hear it only a few yards away.

**-UUUUUUUUUUUURRRG-**

"AAAAAHHH! MY EARS!" Sanji yelled in pain.

"PADDLE! JUST PADDLE!" Usopp tried to tell him.

We were rowing as hard as we could, we would have made it too. Until Luffy stepped out and looked at the whales eye.

"Lu…Luffy?" Nami said weakly.

"You think you can break my special seat and get away with it? TAKE THIS!"

-BAM-

Luffy PUNCHED THE MILLION TON WHALE IN THE FUCKING EYE!

"**YOU MORON**!" Everyone shouted at him.

But I said, "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL YOU SHIT FOR BRAINS RETARD!"

He pulled his fist back form the whales eye, which seemed the size of…oh I don't know…Kanye West's ego? The whale paused for a few seconds until his eye immediately stared down at us and let out a stunned grunt.

Luffy continued to shout, "I'M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU! THERE'S A LOT MORE WHERE THAT…"

-KABAM-

Zoro and I kicked him upside the head shouting, "SHUT UP BEFORE YOU KILL US!"

To late. The whale let out a confused moan, then and angry roar as it opened it's huge mouth, showing off it's large fangs. Wait…WHALES DON'T HAVE FUCKING FANGS?

-**!-**

Well this one did. All the water was being sucked in to its huge mouth, including our ship. Luffy fell off the ship as we were being pulled in, but he stretched his arm a grabbed on to one of its teeth and jumped up. He'll be ok…GOOD! SO NEXT TIME I CAN KNOCK HIM UPSIDE THE HEAD WHEN WE GET OUT FOR BEING SO FUCKING STUPID!

We were sent into a whirlpool and were being thrown around, hard. Then the whale's mouth shut close, making all light disappear. It was pitch black, but I could still feel being slung around, back and forth. I heard the shouts of Nami, and Usopp, and everything inside the ship being tossed around.

* * *

The next thing I knew was…ok seriously, how many times must this happen…On top of Nami with my hand…oh you get the picture. And this time…well…it wasn't just _placed_ there. It felt…so soft and…warm…I just wanted it to last forever…shit. I need to snap out of it!

She was out cold so _thankfully_ my debt to her might not go up just yet. I quickly got off of her and shook her to wake up. Her eyes fluttered open and grew wide.

"HEY! What are you…"

She looked at me standing above her, and calmed down. I helped her to her feet and she fixed her shirt.

"You better have not done anything to me when I was asleep! Or you know what I would do to you?" She shouted at me.

"What? Make my debt bigger? And besides, I'm more honorable than that!" I lied.

She went around and woke everyone up. We collected out thoughts and observed the surroundings. Which…didn't seem quite right.

It was clouds. Clouds and blue sky. The ocean seemed calm, and slightly green. In front of us was an island, with a house and palm tree on it.

_Um…Am I still asleep? Didn't we get eaten by a whale just a minute ago?_

"Is…Is this a dream?" Usopp said in disbelief.

"I'd say that's a fair guess." Zoro replied.

Then all of a sudden, a huge purple squid popped out of the water and looked at us.

_Great, first a giant whale and now a giant squid. I can already tell I'm going to love the Grand Line._

"Um…that looks like…A GREAT KING SQUID!" Nami and Usopp shouted in terror, and ran for cover. Sanji, Zoro, and I jumped to face it. But before we could, the house door blew open and three harpoons shot out and impaled the squid. It's eyes rolled into the back of it's head and fell over dead.

"Looks like someone's home." Sanji said.

"Let's hope it's a person." Zoro said back, releasing his swords.

Nami got up, in tears, and complained, "I've had it! Let's go!"

Usopp did the same and said, "Giant squids, guys with harpoons, and where's Luffy?"

"If we find him I'm going to hit him in the head for punching a fucking 100 story whale in the eye!" I said to them. Zoro and Sanji nodded in agreement.

"Wait, someone's coming out." Sanji told us.

We saw a silhouette of a man inside the house. He was pulling the ropes of the harpoons back, taking the squid closer to the house. The man stepped out and showed us his appearance.

He was a massively built man with a barrel chest and two meaty arms. He had scars on his arms, more than me, and stitches as well. He wore a pink shirt and shorts, and had some weird grass necklace. He also had a…flower on his head? He was bald with a white beard and a REALLY big lower lip.

Weird looking old man. That's all I got to say.

He turned and started walking slowly towards the left. He was glaring at us intensely, we all expected him to attack or fire a harpoon at us. But instead…he sat in a chair and opened a newspaper.

_Oh…it's THAT running joke._

"YOU GONNA SAY ANYTHIIIIIIING?" Sanji shouted in anger and annoyance.

He continued to read his paper for a second before he turned to look at us.

"Hey! You wanna fight? We'll fight! We got cannons back here you bastard!" Usopp tried to intimidate him, but he was all the way inside the galley of the ship with the door open. The old man shot another intense glare at us for about a minute.

"You try it and someone's gonna die." He said to us.

"Yeah? And who's that?" Sanji said back to him as sweat ran down his face.

The old man instantly replied with, "Me of course."

_Hahahaha! I love this joke._

I let out a chuckle. Sanji got all pissed and shouted, "SECUSE ME? YOU…"

"Ease up there bud." Zoro tried to calm him. He patted Sanji on the shoulder and stepped forward.

"There's a couple of things we need to know. Where are we? And who are you?" Zoro said, keeping his cool.

The old guy shot _another_ glare at us, then he said, "You've got some nerve stranger. It's only polite to introduce yourself before asking a question of someone you just met."

Zoro smiled slightly and said, "Alright. Fair enough. I'll go first, my name…"

The old man interrupted him and said, "If you must know my name is Crocus and I am the lighthouse keeper of the Twin Capes. I'm 71 and ½ years old, Gemini…"

"I'LL KILL HIM! I SWEAR!" Zoro shouted even more ferociously than Sanji. I stopped him form drawing his sword and told him, "Dude, calm down. It's not worth it."

"You'd like to know where we are…" Crocus continued, "but your rude behavior leaves me disinclined to accommodate your curiosity except that you are trespassing on my private resort! Besides I think it's pretty obvious since you were eaten!"

Usopp seemed to freak out and said, "So you're saying that we were swallowed by the whale! But since when does a whale's stomach have clouds in it?"

Nami freaked out as well and said, "Wait a minute! If we've been eaten then what's going to happen to us? I don't wanna be EATEN!"

He did that glare thing again, but we all shouted at once, "STOP DOING THAT!"

"What's wrong? Haven't you heard of a running gag?" Crocus humorously mentioned.

"THAT WAS A GAG?"

He pointed to the far end of the "stomach" and said, "The exit is over there."

"WE CAN GET OUT?"

I looked and saw a huge metal door in the midst of the ocean, right where the old man pointed to.

No one believed it seeing how it looked like nothing but sky, but I pointed out, "Look at the birds. Do birds just stay in one place when they fly? It's painted on."

"Call it a doctor's playful mind." Crocus said.

"YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE YOU CRAZY OLD FOOL!" Usopp shouted, and we had to hold him back before…ok he wouldn't have done anything anyway.

"Nami, if that's an exit than we better take it." Zoro told us.

Before we could, the ocean began to make huge waves.

"WHAT's HAPPENING?" Usopp shouted. We were being flung around as the green ocean slung the ship around.

Crocus stood up and said, "It's begun."

He turned to us and said, "He's very angry. These aftershocks are the result of him hitting his head against the Red Line."

_Wait…Whale…Red Line…LABOON! Oh shit I forgot about this! Brook!_

"Guys, now's not the time to be thinking! We need to paddle to the exit before we get digested!" I hurried them. Zoro and Sanji agreed.

Before we got to the paddles however, Crocus dived into the stomach acid.

"Come on! We need to get out of here!" I tried to hurry them. I really didn't want to get digested, so I hurried them along.

Crocus resurfaced at the door, which had a ladder that led up to an even smaller, human sized door. That door however, flung open and three figures flew out.

One was Luffy, I could tell before even using my scope vision. The other two were a blue haired woman and a ginger guy with a crown on.

"Hey Screaver! Everyone ok?" Luffy asked me as he flew across the acid.

"Luffy? Where were you?" I yelled at him.

"Hey, um, I could use a hand!" He said as he splashed into the water.

"I'll get him!" I shouted, and jumped into the acid.

It felt like getting into a pool with WAY to much chlorine. My skin itched, burned, and felt like it was being dissolved bit by bit. I grabbed Luffy by the neck and dragged him upward. I found those other two weirdoes as well and helped them too.


	31. Chapter 31

Luffy Fights A Whale

Crocus Tells Us the Rules

I threw them aboard and pulled myself up. My shirt had holes in it, just great. My skin felt raw, but I was ok for the most part. I couldn't stop itching for a while though.

"You didn't have to save those two you know." Zoro told me.

I scratched my face and said, "_You_ could have helped you know!"

He shrugged and turned to our new guests.

_Miss Wednesday and Mr. 9 I think. Wait…no…Princess Vivi and Mr. 9 I think. She infiltrated…what was it called…I forget._

_Baroque Works._ Michael reminded me.

_Oh! Thank you Michael._

We watched them have a quite conversation. Sanji was just staring at Miss Wednesday with a heart in his eye.

I also noticed the whale calmed down, because the acid had settled down.

"You parasites are still here?" Crocus shouted. We turned and saw him standing by the smaller door.

"I grow weary of this and for the last time! As long as I draw breath, you will not lay a single harmful finger on Laboon!"

"Who's the old guy?" Luffy asked confused.

Miss Wednesday let out a…oh what's the word for fancy…snide and posh evil laugh.

"You can't bully us into abandoning our mission." She said in a fancy, snobbish manner.

"We were sent to hunt this whale and that is _exactly_ what were going to do! And this time we WON'T let you interfere!" The ginger 9 said.

They lifted their bazookas together to make a sort of double barrel and aimed it at the side of the stomach. Sanji didn't even move form his position, and he was right next to them!

"WE'RE ABOUT TO GIVE THIS WHALE ANOTHER BLOW HOLE!" He shouted.

"FIRE BABY!"

-BOOM-

They launched two cannonballs at the stomach. I aimed my bazooka to stop them, but I wouldn't make it in time. Crocus leaped from the platform and intercepted the attack. The bombs exploded and he fell from the cloud of dust into the acid.

Miss Wednesday let out another laugh.

"Damn it Sanji! Do something!" I shouted at him.

He looked stunted, but he then changed back into staring at her. "How could I hurt such a…"

I bashed him in the head. "DUMB PERVERT!"

Miss Wednesday continued to laugh with her pinky extended as the Ginger 9 said, "GO AHEAD! WASTE YOUR TIME!"

I snuck up behind them as they kept taunting the old man, I eyed Luffy and he nodded.

I ripped the bazookas from there hands as Luffy slammed there heads together.

-KABAM-

They fell to the ground with stunned faces. I lifted the bazookas over my head and slung them over my shoulders.

"Bastards. Trying to hurt a whale form the inside!" I said angrily and kicked the Ginger 9 in the head. He grunted painfully.

What? Told you I'm an animal person.

* * *

We got Crocus out of the acid and he said, "I thank you for saving my life, though I must ask why did you do it?"

"I wasn't trying to save you. There was just something about those 2 I didn't like." Luffy said.

"I didn't want the whale to get hurt is all. Plus…there seem like rich snobs…I hate rich snobs." I told him.

We tied up those 2 and were on Crocus' island in the belly.

"Ok, I think it's time we got some answers. Who are these guys? And how did you end up inside this whale?" Nami asked him.

Crocus explained everything from how these guys were thugs trying to get food, to the whale's past. I knew the story so I went back into the ship and took a nap.

* * *

I woke up when the sun shined in my face. I peered over the side of the ship and saw we were out of the whale's belly.

I saw that Crocus was telling us the other part of the story, how the pirates left the Grand Line and never returned. Usopp denied it, trying to tell us they could still be out there.

"Usopp's right! You don't know if they abandoned him! They could still be out there! What were they called?" I asked him.

"They were known as the Rumbar Pirates, whose catchphrase was 'the pirates who could make a crying child smile.' They were a group of musicians who were also pirates. They told me that Laboon took a liking to them thanks to there wonderful music."

"Ok, and who was there captain?" I asked.

"There captain was a young man by the name of Yorki. He was a kind captain, who like to have fun with his crew and he loved Laboon fiercely. But no one cared about Laboon then his second in command, Brook. Brook took it the hardest when they decided to leave Laboon here at the capes."

_It IS Brook! Yes…this will work out._

"Hey Screaver, why are you asking all this? It's been 50 years! None of them could be alive right now." Sanji asked.

"You don't know that. Crocus lived through those 50 years, so couldn't the other pirate live through it as well?"

Crocus turned to me with eyes full of sadness. "I appreciate the thought young man, but I doubt that even if they survived the Grand Line for 50 years, none of them will be returning through that mountain. I received the report that they tried to escape the Grand Line by going through the Calm Belt. They turned tail and never returned."

"YOUR WRONG! That report was false! They…" I started. Everyone was looking at me. Crocus had a strange look on.

I sighed. "Whatever, I'm going back to sleep."

I turned back over and closed my eyes. Getting partially digested can really wear out a man right?

-CRASH-

I fell to the ground with all my stuff. My box broke, my blanket and pillow got a bit torned up, and my game boy ALMOST broke had I not caught it quickly. And...oh yeah! I almost forgot about the guitar I got from Cocoyashi Village! It clanked against the deck too. My money almost spilled out before I covered it quickly with my blanket as I slammed to the deck.

"HEY! WHAT THE FUCK?"

I looked up and saw…the entire mast was torn off the ship!

"Screaver! You ok?" Nami asked.

I rubbed my head and said, "I repeat…WHAT THE FUCK?"

Luffy was charging up the whale's hide and jammed the mast into one of it's scars.

"GUM GUM FLOWER ARANGMENT!"

Well obviously, the whale got pissed.

-ROOOOOOOOOOAAR-

"YOU AAAAAASS!" We all shouted. The whale slammed his head on the ground and threw Luffy off. They spent the next 10 minutes fighting. I don't know _how_ you could fight a whale the size of a skyscraper…but Luffy was doing just that.

"You wanna let us in to your plan before you kill yourself?" Zoro yelled at him.

The whale charged at Luffy, but before he could make it, Luffy shouted out, "It's a draw!"

The whale stopped. Its anger changed into surprise.

"I'm stronger than I look. But I had a felling you knew that." He said with a smile.

_Ok…just what the hell is he doing?_

"I can always tell when someone's itchen to fight." He went on. "Well if you want a battle I'll gladly give you one. Your shipmates used to spare with you didn't they? You miss it. Well I can rival anything they through at you."

_Ok…I may be forgetting more and more about the One Piece world but…since when did Brook spar with Laboon?_

"Tell you what. After me and my friends travel the Grand Line, we'll come back here and find you. And then you better be ready for a rematch!"

The whale was crying. _Can whales cry?_ He lifted his head up high and let out a happy roar.

_Ok, that's fine and all…BUT WHY DID YOU FLIP ME OUT OF MY FUCKING CROWS NEST?_

* * *

We watched Luffy paint a REALLY bad version of our jolly roger on the whale's forehead.

Luffy stood back, covered in paint and said with a big smile, "Consider this a symbol of my promise to do battle with you! Of course it's a rush paint job so you'll have to avoid hitting your head or you'll rub it off. You understand?"

The whale grunted in response. I guess it said _ok_.

I was getting all my stuff back together. My box was shattered into pieces, my blanket had a few tears in it, but my game boy and my money was ok. The guitar got chipped a little but was still functional. I also had those two bazookas that I took from those other two guys. I put them down with my stuff until the mast was repaired.

"Hey Screaver, what's that you got there?" Nami asked me as I tried to rehide my money.

"Um…Oh…It's nothing! Nothing at all! Ahahaha!" I tried to hide it and smiled.

She seemed to smell it out and gave me a wicked smile. "You aren't hiding anything _valuable_ under that blanket are you?"

_SHIT! She's like a bloodhound when it comes to money!"_

I was sweating, but I quickly shouted, "Oh shit! A huge pile of money!" And I pointed behind her. She quickly turned around and shouted, "WHERE?"

I flash stepped into the grove of orange trees. I peeked from a safe location and watched her turn back around, finding I had disappeared.

_I need a new hiding spot!_

I found a patch of the grove that was covered well by the trees and dug a little with my hands. I buried my money in that patch, and covered it back up. All I did was place a stick over the dug pile and left the grove. I quickly washed the dirt off in the ocean.

_There…safe and sound!_

…_Ok I need to see a doctor, I can't go on like this._

I walked back to Usopp and helped him reattach the mast. I held it in place as he nailed the plates into the mast.

"Ugh! That's my life! Luffy breaks it and I put it back together!" Usopp complained.

"You think you have it bad…That crows nest is MY FUCKING BEDROOM!" I shouted.

He hammered the last nail into place and said, "Whoo, thanks Screaver! Now help me with the head would ya?"

"Sure." I said, and I lifted the head up and walked to the front of the ship.

Some time past and we finished the repairs. Usopp thanked me and went down below to fix some leaks we apparently sprung. I went into the kitchen and saw Sanji pulling out that huge fish he won back in Lougetown.

"Hey Sanji! Need some help?" I asked him cheerfully.

"Well, this is a pretty big fish…sure why not?" He replied and he put out his cigarette. I let out a small cough and rolled up my sleeves.

He had me scrape the scales off the fish, cut up the fish into huge slices, and help coat the fish in some oil or something. Sanji went to work cooking the huge thing. I don't know how he did it, but in under an hour he seasoned, basted, and cooked the entire thing! He then prepared them on a bed of lettuce and had four plates. One had the head with a few huge fillets of fish, one had nothing but huge fillets and the other two had the white meat of the fish in smaller slices but bigger piles. It smelled so GOOD! My mouth was watering as he carried out the fillet pieces, while I carried out the other smaller pieces.

"Oh Nami's going to love this!" Sanji shouted with a heart in his eye.

"Just make sure Luffy doesn't eat it first." I told him.

His heart faded and he grew an evil frown. "If Luffy so much as breathes on this fish before Nami's eats it I'll kick his head into the ground!"

I nodded at him in agreement.

"YAAAAAAHH!"

I heard Nami scream in agonizing terror. Sanji dashed over to her. I followed.

"IS THERE SOME PROBLEM MY DEAREST NAMI? IF IT'S FOOD YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT SAY NO MORE!" Sanji called out to her holding the food over his head. I slowly climbed up behind him.

Usopp also popped up and asked, "Did someone say food?"

"You idiots! The compass is broken! The needle just spins it won't stop!"

I sat the food down as everyone looked at the compass.

"It's not broken Nami. The Grand Line is surrounded by a strong magnetic field that makes all normal compasses nonfunctional. That's what causes all those freak storms and weather changes Crocus was talking about." I told her.

"Wow! How did you know that Screaver?" Luffy asked in amazement.

"Well I _am_ from the Grand Line. It's common knowledge here!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" They all yelled.

"Why didn't you tell us you were from the Grand Line?" Usopp shouted in anger.

"First of all, you never asked! And secondly, I'm technically from an island in the Calm Belt." I lied.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" They all shouted again.

"I'm surprised that you were able to make it out of the Calm Belt. Most of those islands stay in isolation." I heard Crocus say. He walked in from behind us and came to the table.

"The boy speaks the truth. This magnetic field makes all regular equipment not work. Common sense is useless in this place."

He was telling us about how the Grand Line worked, but I saw Luffy was about to take a bite out of the food. And Sanji wasn't looking.

I aimed my bazooka at his head and asked him, "Are you sure you want to do that Luffy?"

He looked at me with wide eyes and put the food down. He smiled weakly and said, "Hehehehe…Sorry?"

I kept my eye on him until Crocus finished.

"If your going to navigate around the Grand Line, you're going to need a Log Pose." Crocus said.

"A Log Pose?" Nami asked.

"It's a special compass that can lock onto the certain magnetic levels. With a Log Pose, we go to a certain island. Then stay a few days until the Log Pose locks onto the magnetic field. Then it will point into the direction of the next island we have to go to. We follow this pattern until we get to the end of the Grand Line, right?" I said.

"Very good. At least _one _of you knows how this place works." Crocus said, looking down at the rest of them.

"Wow Screaver, you know a lot about the Grand Line huh?" Luffy asked, smiling at me.

"You pick up on this sort of thing when you travel along." I lied.

"Ok, so where do we get on of these Log thingys?" Nami asked.

I picked up Luffy's hand that had the Log Pose in it and said, "Right here!"

She turned around and stared at me with wide eyes. She then looked at Luffy and decked him in the face.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU HAD ONE OF THOSE LOG THINGYS?" She shouted at him.

"I just founded on deck just laying there! Those weirdoes must have dropped it when they escaped!"

_When did they…never mind._

She picked it up and looked at it. "It doesn't have a dial face." She noticed.

Crocus continued to explain how the Grand Line traveling method worked. Until he told us about the final island on the Grand Line, Raftel.

"That must be where the One Piece is!" Usopp said.

"That's the most prominent theory." Crocus said.

I was about to say _you should know, you were with Gold Roger_, but I decided to let it go.

"Ok guys, let's eat this meal Sanji and Screaver cooked!" Usopp told us.

Luffy looked at me, and I nodded at him. He smiled and dug right in. There was enough for all of us.

"Hey Crocus! Come and join us! There's plenty to go around!" I told him swallowing another bite.

He smiled and said, "I'd like that. I'd like that very much!"


	32. Chapter 32

We Leave the Capes

Our Trip Across the Grand Lines Begins

The Bluefin Tuna was delicious. Best meal Sanji cooked so far I think. It was so juicy and tender, even the bones tasted good! My favorite was the nose for sure. No bones, just pure fishy meat (wait…fish don't have meat. It's fish…what ever it's still good.) Luffy and I got into a miny fight over the rest of the nose and I ripped it in half so he would let go. Everyone thought it was great; I even called over Zoro so he would have some. We were all eating and laughing and having a great time. Crocus didn't say much, but he just gave us a warm smile.

_This has been another moment that makes me happy to be a strawhat._

After the meal, Zoro went back to the ship to continue his nap, Sanji was cleaning up, Usopp was goofing around with Luffy, Nami was looking at the Log Pose, and I was sitting on the side of the cliff looking at the ocean. I got use to the salty sent of the sea a while ago, and I definitely developed my sea legs. I was completely accustomed to living the life on the ocean, and it felt…great!

"I never got to fully thank you for saving Laboon back there." I heard Crocus say. He walked up to me and sat down next to me. He was definitely old, and he groaned as he sat down next to me.

"I like animals…I couldn't let those guys hurt Laboon like that." I told him.

"I appreciate it." He told me. He seemed to look down and think about something.

"Just for the record, I know that you were the Oro Jackson's ship doctor."

He gasped. "How did you…"

"Relax. I know a lot of stuff. No need to worry. I'm a pirate too you know."

He sighed. "He was a great man. Gold Roger you know. He cared so much about his crew, but would make the tough choices when he needed to."

"I guess all men of D are like that huh?"

He looked at me again. "Know how do know that?"

I pointed at Luffy. "That man's full name is Monkey D Luffy. Son of Monkey D Dragon and grandson of Monkey D Garp. From what you just said was that Roger shared some characteristics with Luffy."

Crocus' eyes grew wide at what I said. "Well…that boy sure has a interesting family."

"Don't I know it?" I said back to him. We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Say, when we were talking about Laboon and the pirates he sailed with, you seemed to take it offensively when I told you that they abandoned him."

I looked up at him and told him, "Because they didn't. I know the whole story of the Rumbar Pirates."

And so I told him how half of the crew got sick and decided to sail to the Calm Belt to keep the disease away from the other members. I then told him about how the _other_ half got caught up and were killed by a group of unknown pirates. I gave him descriptions of the captain Yorki and the second captain Brook.

His eyes were wide and he cleaned his glasses. "I just can't believe it. They…they didn't deserve that fate. He was better than that. At least they didn't abandon Laboon like I originally thought. But it's a shame that there dead."

"Not all of them." I said with a smile.

I reminded him of how Brook ate a devil fruit, and that he was still sailing around the Floridian Triangle with a busted rudder, still looking for away back to Laboon.

Crocus covered his mouth and began to cry a little.

"How…how can you know this? If you're lying…I'll never forgive you."

"I'm not. He's really out there, he still remembers his promise, and I'm going to get him back to you." I promised him.

"This…this just makes me feel so happy for Laboon! You promise to bring him back. You better not go back on your promise."

I held out my hand. "Shake on it. I promise to bring Brook back over that mountain."

He wiped his eyes and shook my hand. I nodded at him. "He may not look like you remember him, but he's out there. Same afro and all."

He smiled. The wrinkles around his eyes were deep. "Laboon will be able to recognize him, I'm sure of it!"

_That's another promise I need to keep._

-SPLASH-

The Ginger 9 and Miss Wednesday were tossed next to us by Laboon. They were both unconscious. I walked over to her and tried to wake her up. Her eyes opened and she seemed startled.

I took a leaf out of Sanji's book and said, "Excuse me madam, let me help you to your feet."

She took my hand and I pulled her up. The Ginger 9 got up and asked me, "We need your help."

* * *

"Whisky Peak?" Nami asked.

The two were on there knees in front of us. They had just explained there situation to us, and we were deciding on what to do.

"Please! We would tell you more but…mystery is our companies policy!" They tried to explain.

"It's not up to us. It's up to that guy right there." I said and I pointed to Luffy.

"It's fine. You can ride with us." Luffy said.

They gasped, so did the rest of the crew.

"You said you live at Whiskey Peak right? Let's go there."

I nodded and looked back at them. "Well there you have it folks."

"Be careful, once you head out from here you'll be committed to that course." Crocus warned us.

"Don't worry. If we don't like it, we'll try a different route _next_ time!" Luffy said with a smile.

Crocus smiled back. "I see."

_Yeah…if we survive until next time._ Michael complained.

_Nobody asked you!_

"Hold on! Just who do you think you are?" Ginger 9 said.

Luffy turned around and said, "Who? Me? Oh I'm the man who will be king of the pirates!"

_Yes you will Luffy, yes you will._

We loaded up on the ship. Crocus told us the Log Pose was pointed towards Whiskey Peak so all we had to do was follow the arrow.

"If you have any questions…ask him!" He told us, pointing at me.

I waved at him.

"See ya pops!" Luffy yelled at him.

"Have a safe trip my boy!" He called back at us.

"Bye Laboon!" I shouted at the whale and he let out a happy groan.

"Don't forget your promise to me, boy!" Crocus shouted at me.

I ran to the side of the ship and yelled to him, "I won't forget! I'll bring him back! And…MY NAME IS SCREAVER BARTEL! NOT BOY!"

_Well…I gotta do it every once and a while!_

We watched as we sailed off towards the horizon. We heard Laboon call out to us as we continued to sail off further.

"Hey Screaver, what did that old man mean _keep your promise_?" Usopp asked me.

"Oh, you'll find out one day. But not _anytime_ soon." I ensured him.

We said our good byes as the ship sailed off. Luffy looked to us and cheered, "Next stop…WHISKEY PEAK!"

* * *

After sailing for a few hours, it began to snow. Seriously…snowing out in the middle of the ocean. What the hell?

I had moved all my stuff back into the crows nest, but snow kept falling into the nest and got everything soaked. I was able to get Usopp to help me fashion a cover for my stuff in the crows nest. He took a sheet of thick cloth, cut it in a circle, and put clips on it. It had a hole in the center so I would put it on the mid-pole, slide it down and clip it to the sides of the nest. It kept the snow out, Usopp even said it would keep out rain and wind as well. Nifty huh?

I also was able to move my bag of cash out of the grove and back up to my nest while Nami wasn't looking. It was dirty, but all the money was accounted for.

I pulled on my jacket. I didn't even know I had a jacket. It was up there in my crows nest, and it was freezing cold so I put it on. It was a plain dark brown jacket, wasn't warm enough though. Oh well…It helped a little.

I watched as Luffy and Usopp were building snowmen. Luffy's was pretty stupid looking, but Usopp's was pretty…awesome. He built a half naked hot chick sitting on some sort of mushroom or something.

Luffy got jealous and broke his snow-woman and they got in a snowball fight. He was tossing snowballs everywhere. Once he hit me in the face, I got pretty pissed.

"OH HELL NO! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE ASSHOLE!" I shouted, spitting snow out of my mouth.

I scoped up a huge pile of snow, and was ready to throw it at him, but I got an idea.

What happens when I morph into gun mode while holding something?

I morphed both of my arms into cannons. The snow turned the same color as my arms do when they transform and the snow was gone. I looked inside me guns and saw the snow was packed inside the cannons. My arms also felt a little heavier, but not by much. I smiled at both of them as I aimed my new attack on them.

"Rock-it Launcher!"

I got that name from a gun in Fallout 3. It's a gun that can shoot anything you find from tin cans to paperweights to teddy bears, and would do massive damage.

I fired both of my shots and two cylinders of snow shot out. Usopp dodged both of them, but they slammed into the side of the wall and exploded.

_Oh, this is going to be fun._

"Whoa! How'd ya do that?" Luffy shouted in amazement.

"It's a new power!" I told him.

Usopp was looking kinda scared but he just said, "You think you can defeat the mighty Usopp in a snowball fight? Well bring it…"

-BAM-

I nailed him in the face with a snowball.

_Just because I live in Texas, doesn't mean I don't know what snow is like._

"You two have fun, I have to take care of the ship." I told them. Luffy groaned in disappointment, but Usopp sighed in relief.

I found Sanji shoveling snow off the ship.

"Need some help Sanji?" I asked him.

"No need. I'm doing this for Nami!" He said as he looked up with a heart in his eye.

(I say _a heart in his eye_ because that's all I could see was one eye.)

"NAMI! SHALL I SHOVEL SOME MORE FOR YOU?" He lovingly shouted.

Nami shouted back, "Just keep going till it's gone. Do it great. And have Screaver help you!"

I groaned and scooped up a huge pile of snow. I morphed it into my cannons and fired it off.

"Whoa! That's new." Sanji said.

I nodded. "This is what happens as I collect more souls. I'm roughly 1/5 from my goal of 100 souls. I just need 78 more." I told him.

"And you'll become a…Death Scythe?" He asked.

I nodded. "My power is increasing; someday I'll be a Death Scythe. Then my abilities and powers will increase ten-fold! I'll get there…someday."

I shot off another round of snow. I will be a Death Scythe. I have to. I can't keep loosing my life-span like this. If I plan to hook up with Nami, I need to live long life!

I noticed that the sky began to thunder. Lightning shot across the sky along with the snow. Then the wind picked up.

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH-

I heard Nami scream. We all looked so to her.

"TURN THE SHIP AROUND! 180 DEGREES!"

Usopp and Luffy questioned it, but I shouted, "YOU HEARD HER! TURN THE SHIP AROUND!"

We all got to moving. We were adjusting sails, pulling ropes…oh wait…everyone except Zoro since he was asleep.

"WAKE THE HELL UP!" I shouted as I knocked him upside the head. He fell over and yelled at me, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR YOU ASSHOLE?"

"ZORO! MAN THE SAILS! NOW! SCREAVER, HELP THOSE USOPP AT THE LATEEN SAILS NOW!" Nami shouted at us. We nodded and split up.

* * *

The next hour was nothing but shouting and working. We dashed all over the ship, pulling ropes and tying down sails.

"The waves are getting really high! And there's an iceburg at 10 o clock!" Usopp reported.

"Leave it to me!" I shouted and ran towards the front. Miss Wednesday and the Ginger 9 were looking to the front, gawking at the iceburg.

I leaped to the head of the Merry and aimed my bazooka. I took aim and charged my attack.

"MEGA BUSTER!"

-BAM-

The huge explosion scared the other two half to death, but the attack only blew a huge whole in the ice burg. It was still there, and would still probably destroy us if we hit it.

"Fog's rolling in! We can't see a thing!" Zoro shouted.

"The wind won't stop blowing, and the current's too strong! We can't turn!" Sanji shouted.

"WERE GONNA CRASH!" Usopp screamed in terror.

"SCREAVER! DESTROY THAT ICEBURG!" Nami ordered.

"I'M TRYING!" I shouted at them.

The iceberg was about the size of Laboon. I fired again, but it wouldn't cause enough of a blast. It needed about four more hits, and we only had time for one more.

Then I got an idea. I looked up and saw Usopp close to my nest.

"USOPP! THROW DOWN ONE OF THOSE CANNONS IN MY NEST! EITHER ONE!"

He nodded and looked through my stuff. He picked one up and yelled, "HERE YA GO!"

The cannon spiraled towards me. I leaped up to get it and grabbed it by the handle. I aimed the gun at the iceberg.

"You fool! My cannon isn't strong enough to destroy that iceberg!" The Ginger 9 said.

_This has to work!_

I morphed the arm that was holding the bazooka. Sure enough, the bazooka turned into the same golden light that my arm did. But what happened was different than what I thought.

When the glow disappeared, the silver cannon seemed to fuse with my golden bazooka. It was another foot longer, the silver of the cannon seemed to be bounded together with my regular golden bazooka. The barrel was wider, so it must have been a higher caliber as well. It had some new studs on it, with a new shinny handle and looked a lot more polished.

Basically…it was awesome.

This new gun had a nice scope on it as well. I aimed my new gun at the iceberg.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CANNON?" The Ginger 9 shouted in terror.

"I JUST GOT AN UPGRADE! HERE GOES! SPECIAL BUSTER!"

-KABOOM-

I fired my new gun. The shot was tinted with orange. It seemed to have streams of smoke following it. It shot curved and destroyed the giant iceberg. It shattered into a million pieces just before those pieces evaporated.

I deactivated my arm. My hand went back to normal. So did the cannon I was using.

_Oh this is going to be fun._

"How…did you eat a devil fruit?" Miss Wednesday asked me.

"Nope. I'm just a Demon." I told her blankly. She stepped back and seemed to freak out.

"Never mind that! GET BACK TO WORK!" Nami ordered us. I climbed back up towards my crows nest and put the cannon down.


	33. Chapter 33

Into the Eye of the Storm

Arrival at Whiskey Peak

"Nami! Water is getting into the bottom of the Merry!" Luffy shouted.

"THEN GO FIX IT!" Nami shouted. Usopp jumped down and went down below.

"ZORO! SCREAVER! PULL IN THE SAILS! THE WIND IS TOO STRONG!" Nami ordered us.

We rushed towards the sails and pulled the ropes as hard as we could. I could see a huge storm was heading right for us.

_We are so screwed._ Michael said.

_WHY DON'T YOU HELP YOU LAZY BASTARD?_

"Everyone needs to eat to keep there strength up!" Sanji shouted. He was holding a huge plate of those rice balls that Japanese people eat with tea. What's it called…I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!

We munched down the rice balls and continued working. Usopp was busy taking care of the leaks down below, Zoro and I were hauling in the sails, I couldn't see Luffy. Nami was commanding us through it all.

"Hey Screaver! Why are those two with us?" Zoro shouted at me.

"Luffy's orders! Were going to their island!" I yelled back. The wind was so loud we had to scream to hear each other.

-RIP-

The sails were beginning to rip.

"Come on! Get those sails up!" Nami yelled at us and joined in. She grabbed onto one of the ropes and began to pull.

* * *

For five hours, five long hours, we worked until our muscles screamed with pain. And even then the storm didn't let up. We pulled and worked, and worked and pulled. I went down below seeing how there were too many leaks for one guy to handle. We were dissembling the crates that held food so we could patch up the holes. Zoro, Sanji and I then went to work taking buckets and buckets of water out of the ship. The wind blew, the lightning flashed, but we kept working.

* * *

Seven horrible hours of storm passed. The clouds began to disperse. We all collapsed on the deck from exhaustion.

I was lying, back on the wall of the ship. I struggled to open my eyes.

I felt someone's head on my shoulder.

_Oh come on!_

Thankfully it wasn't Nami. Good, don't need my debt go up.

Unthankfully, it was Zoro.

OH GOD DAMN IT!

I pushed him off of me and shook all over. UUUUUUUUUGH!

_Ok, I'm ok. No one saw. I'm ok._

I looked around. Everyone was sprawled on the deck. I saw Luffy sitting in his special seat. I struggled to my feet and walked over to him.

He noticed me and smiled. "HEY SCREAVER! That thing you did to that iceberg was so COOOOL!" He cheered.

I smiled weakly. "Yeah…I didn't even think it would work. But we were going to crash and I had to try something."

He nodded and turned back to the horizon. The weather was nice. The sun was shinning, a few clouds, but otherwise clear weather.

_THANK GOD!_

I walked up the steps. I saw Nami hanging just to the left of them. She looked like she was about to fall right through the railing. I slightly pulled her up so she wasn't hanging off. I pulled her to the side and sat her down. She seemed to shiver so I took off my jacket and put it over her.

I looked up and saw Zoro was up as well. He was talking with those two guys and…wait…HE CAN'T TELL US THERE FROM BAROQUE WORKS!

I quickly rushed over and said, "Hey Zoro! Uh…I need help with…uh…the sail! Help me take down the sail!"

"Huh? Um…ok." He said. The other two gave a small sigh of relief.

* * *

Usopp woke up and I told him we needed to fix the sail. He told us to take it down and he would s w it back together.

We did just that, and put the sail back up.

I pulled up the sail and just as I was about to turn around, I got hit in the face with my brown jacket.

I looked up and saw Nami looking down at me, frowning and with her arms crossed.

"Hey! I was just being nice!" I said.

She turned her head and said, "Whatever."

_God…I try SO hard to be nice to that girl…and what do I get…DEBT AND DISAPPROVAL!_

I put on the jacket as Nami came out and told us, "Listen up everyone! There's no way to know what's gonna happen next! During the terror we all experienced I came to an understanding of why this sea is named the Grand Line!"

"I don't think it being called _Grand_ means having fucked up weather." I said snidely. She responded to me by punching me in the head.

"Anyways, my navigation skills are useless here! Anything can happen, but mark my words I will guide us through!"

I rubbed the new whelp forming in the back of my head.

"Uh…ok. You sure about that Nami?" Usopp said unsurely.

She smiled. "With out a doubt. Were going to be fine just wait and see!"

"Most of us will be fine anyways." I complained. She hit me again.

"HEY! QUIT IT!"

-BAM-

I just fell to the ground, praying that she would give it a rest.

"Speaking of which, were here!" She pointed to the horizon.

I got to my feet, rubbing the whelps that were now on my whelps, and saw the island in the distance.

It was a huge island, covered in huge, green cacti. Nothing much else to say about it.

"So this is Whiskey Peak. This landscape is unlike anything I've ever seen." Sanji observed.

I saw the two other guys jump to the railing. The Ginger 9 bowed and said, "Thank you but we must be leaving."

Miss Wednesday followed his example and said, "It's been an interesting ride to say the least."

9 then said, "Perhaps we'll meet again someday."

Then they both put on an evil smile and said, "BYE BYE BABY!"

Then they back flipped into the ocean and swam away.

"Well that was weird." I said, and climbed to my crows nest. I pulled off the tarp; everything dry and accounted for. Thank goodness.

We sailed into the island. There was a thick layer of fog all around us. My scope vision could barely see anything.

I was able to make out a few people.

"Guys, be prepared. I saw some people on the shoreline." I reported.

"Be prepared." Nami told everyone.

"Is it monsters? Let's go! Come on! Please?" Usopp complained.

* * *

We continued down the river, and more and more people were getting closer and closer. Everyone was on edge, ready for a fight.

-CHEERS-

"Welcome to the Grand Line!"

"We're happy to have you at Whiskey Peak!"

The fog lifted to reveal a huge mass of cheering people. They had party shakers, streamers, and all sorts of welcoming posters.

Hell it caught me off guard!

"Hey! There not monsters, there people! And they seem happy to see us!" Usopp noticed.

I saw lots of people. Men, women, children, hot women, fat men, sexy women, nuns, hot and sexy women…did I mention women?

Ok ok ok…Sanji moment…I know.

But seriously, there were a lot of happy people to see us!

_Wait…aren't these guys all a bunch of evil bounty hunters? Yeah, that's right. I got to keep my guard up._

But still…hot girls…my age too!

_Oh this is going to be fun!_


	34. Chapter 34

Whiskey Peak Throws A Party

Then Zoro and I Give THEM a Party

We made it to the harbor of the town. The buildings looked plain and simple, like the buildings you find in the desert.

We were met by a whole group of smiling people along with that one guy…oh what's his face…that guy with the huge curls…Igaram! That's it! He was in a navy blue suit holding a saxophone. Weird, but hey…not my thing.

"Welc…-cough-MA MA MAAAAAAA! Welcome! My name is Igarapoy. And it is my honor as mayor to welcome you to Whiskey Peak." He said cheerfully.

_Wow…Igaram to Igarapoy. What a stretch._

Luffy seemed stunned. "Oh, great. My name is Luffy, nice to meet you. Nice hair! I like the curls!" He said.

Igarapoy smiled and said, "You'll find that this is a place that thrives on making liquor and music. Hospitality is a mater of pride in our town. The smiles run long, and the liquor flows bountiful as seawater!"

"Well that's good news!" I said to him.

"Would you permit that we throw a party in honor of your arrival so that we may hear-cough- MA MA MAAAA! Your tales of adventure?" He finished.

Luffy, Sanji, and Usopp smiled widely and said, "WE'D BE GLAD TOOOO!"

I was looking at the people through my scope. Apparently I had several lenses on this thing. I found on setting that made people look transparent. In the back, all the townspeople had dark souls in there chests. I looked at Luffy and Igarapoy and they had bigger blue souls.

_I guess you can detect soul wavelengths?_ Michael guessed.

_Thanks for the update, Sherlock._

Nami tried to ask him about the Log Pose, but he just told her, "Such boring details can wait."

"NOW! LET'S PREPARE TO PARTY! SING AND BE MERRY!"

_This is going to be a loooooooong night._

* * *

This party wasn't as good as the party at Cocoyashi Village, but it was pretty damn good. There were musicians everywhere, drinks in everyone's hand, and huge tables of food piled high.

Usopp was busy bragging to some of the girls about his _adventures_. They were giving him so much attention and he was just eating it up.

Sanji was busy trying to woo like a dozen girls at a time. He seemed way too happy for his own good. Oh well…I don't feel like hitting him upside the head today.

Luffy was just munching down on plate, after plate, after plate…you get the picture.

I did a little bit of everything. I ate a lot of food first, then I got up and started singing as loud as I could. Everyone was cheering me on to sing more, so I had to oblige.

I got off when I heard about the liquor contest. Hopefully I'll earn the money to pay Nami off the debt I owe her.

I got it just in time as Nami shouted, "Then filler up!"

"I'm in too!" I shouted and hoisted my mug.

She grinned at me and said, "If you lose, you still owe me that 200,000 berri."

I grinned back. "I hope you can hold it Nami."

We glared at each other intensely. I could feel the air around us get thinner as if our presences were tearing up the atmosphere.

"FILLER UP!"

_You better not mess up Michael!_ I told him.

_You got it boss!_ He sarcastically said back.

* * *

We were on our 10th mugs. Everyone was dropping around us, but me, Zoro, and Nami were still in it.

Zoro passed out after his 13th mug. Nami, me, and some nun chick were still in it. I was starting to feel the alcohol a little bit.

_What's…what's goin on down there Micky?_ I struggled to think.

_They added some sort of drug in the wine. I'm trying to make adjustments now, but it's really strong, and my power is limited remember!_ He said back.

_Just…just do the bes you can Michael._ I told him back.

"Only three left! One man and two women!" I heard a guy say.

"Oh cumon Zoro you wuuuuusss!" Nami said drunkenly.

"My children, forfeit for your own sake!" The nun said.

"If I didn't eve listn to my own priesssst, then why shhhould I lisssten to yooou?" I said as drunkenly as possible. We moved onto our 14th mug.

Nami laughed a drunken laugh and disagreed as well. I heard that Luffy finally collapsed from eating too much. –Gasp- LUFFY BECAME FULL? THE APPOCALYPSE IS HERE! CHECKMATE!

(no one will guess what that's from.)

The nun passed out after 15 mugs, but Nami and I were still going.

"Jus giv up Screavy, that muny's miiiiney!" She said.

"Oh yu tink sos huh? I'll get dat muny ferst!" I said back. I wasn't really that drunk, I was pretending. I could feel a bit of a headache, and a bit dizzy.

She finally went down after 17 mugs. I shouted in triumph, "I WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINN! IN YAR FACE HULIO!"

I stood up, wobbled over to Igarapoy, and snatched the money out of his hand.

"I …"

-THUD-

I pretended to pass out. I heard the music still going and the laughing and cheering. I pulled the money close and used it as a pillow for my head. It felt horrible, but it would at least make sure I would keep the money.

_Now I just sit back and wait._

* * *

The music faded away. It was quiet. I peaked open an eye and no one was there except the crew. I got up, put the bag of money in my pocket, and walked over to Zoro.

I shook him. "Psssst. Zoro. Wake up. I know your awake." I told him.

He sat up and stood up from his seat. "How did you know?" He asked.

I smiled. "A good swordsman never lets his guard down." I told him.

He smiled. I told him, "Look, those guys…they're bounty hunters. I saw there soul wavelengths at the harbor."

"Wavelengths?" He asked.

"It's how I can tell if a person is good or evil. If there good their wavelength is blue and bright. If it's evil it looks like one of those dark souls. The entire town is nothing but dark souls."

He seemed to understand.

"Also, those two guys. There names. I think you know who were dealing with." I sad to him.

"Baroque Works." He said. I nodded. I put my finger to my mouth and we walked out to the ceiling.

We sat on the ceiling and saw the mayor, I mean Mr. 8; talk with Ginger 9, Miss Wednesday, and Miss Monday. She had removed her disguise and show that she…was a big, muscled black woman.

What? I'm just sayin.

Miss Monday was complaining on how we almost ate them into oblivion. I looked at Zoro and we both smiled at that.

Then Mr. 8 pulled out two bounty posters, mine and Luffy's.

"WHAT? 70,000,000 BERRI! FOR THOSE MORRONS?" The Ginger 9 shouted.

We could hear them now. Mr. 8 said, "Don't be foolish! Appearances can be deceiving. That goes for –cough- MA MA MAAAAA! That goes for all of you."

"I'm sorry." Miss Monday said.

"It's no matter," Mr. 8 went on, "Our pray has been trapped. And that's news the boss will enjoy. For now confiscate everything of value from there ship."

"So what do we do with them now?" Miss Monday asked.

"Kill them?" Ginger 9 suggested.

"If they die the bounty drops 30%. The government like to make public executions." Mr. 8 said coldly.

I gripped my arm tightly as he said that. Zoro gave me a look of worry. I nodded at him to say I was fine.

Ok…personal confession…I have a problem with corrupt governments (naw shit really?) I mean, they're the government! And they are supposed to help the people right? Well this government, the World Government, serves only themselves. They like to publically execute people! I don't care if a pirate killed many men; he deserves to die in private. You know? Electric chair and what not? Not where people can just watch like it was some damn movie!

I may not care about anything that has nothing to do with me, but I couldn't let public executions go for some reason.

"Now GO! I want them alive!"

"Hey…sorry to interrupt." Zoro called out.

The people freaked out and saw us sitting on the roof. Zoro was inspecting his swords, I was cracking my fists.

"You mind letting our friends sleep? They had a long day and the journey was exausting. Believe me."

"A captain must have his rest you know. And if you wake up Nami…whoa boy…you'll be sorry. Trust me." I added in.

"Sneaky wretches! You both should have stayed asleep with your friends!" Mr. 8 told us.

I popped another finger and said, "Nah, I'm tired of sleeping, and I'm hungry."

I saw the other bounty hunters come out of the buildings and occupy the yard in front of us.

Zoro and I stood up and he said, "Judging by the scowls and cheap disguises, I'm guessing you're all bounty hunters. Your specialty is robbing drunk pirates who fall for your hospitality. It's original; I'll give you that at least."

"I count about 100 of you assholes. Hey Zoro, you take 50 I take 50?" I asked him.

He nodded. "Sounds reasonable Screaver. You hear that, we'll take you all on! Right? Baroque Works?"

They all freaked out and gasped.

Mr. 8 seemed the most scared. "HOW DO YOU KNOW OUR NAME?"

Zoro swung his sword. "I was on a similar line of work once upon a time, and your company tried to entice me with a job offer. Naturally I said no."

"I ran into a couple of your billion's ship a while back. They tried to stop me, instead I stopped them." I lied. I mean what was I supposed to say. _I saw the anime?_

"Do the same rules still apply?" Zoro asked. "Employee identities kept secret, cheesy code names, the bosses identity and whereabouts _also_ a mystery?"

"Baroque Works, the so called _great_ criminal organization that follows there orders like good little bitches!" I said smugly. They were getting angry. I could see them cock their guns, draw there swords, and prepare to attack.

Mr. 8 looked down and said, "This is a surprise. If you know all our secrets, then we are left with no other choice but to kill you."

I laughed and said, "Who ever said it was _your_ choice?"

"Laugh if you want, but by the end of the night, two more graves will be added to the cactus rocks." Mr. 8 said darkly.

I whispered to Zoro, "The big curly haired man and the blue haired chick aren't evil."

He looked at me. "What?"

"Their souls show they are good people. Everyone else is fair game. Don't worry, it's only two people." I told him.

"I'll take your word for it." He said and looked at the vast amount of people.

Mr. 8 grew an evil smile and shouted, "KILL THEM!"

Zoro dashed downward, while I flash stepped. We disappeared into the crowd of people, trying to blend in. It worked for a moment.

"Where did he go? He couldn't just disappear!" I heard Mr. 8 say. They all started looking around…until they looked right next to them.

Zoro and I appeared in the midst of all the bad guys. We were separated by a few yards, but they could see us. The guys that noticed I was right next to them…there faces…priceless.

We were both looking up where we first were, then we looked at each other and shared a smile.

_Oh this is going to be REALLY fun!_

They shook off there confusion and took aim with their guns. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? FIRE!"

"Flash Step!"

We both disappeared as they shot themselves down.

_Damn, that was about 14 good souls that just disappeared._

"Incompetent morons! They just shot each other!" I heard Mr. 8 said in disgust.

"Yeah! And those two pirates got away!" I heard the Ginger 9 say right after him.

Mr. 8 looked around and shouted in frustration, "JUST KILL HIM! THEY'RE ONLY TWO MEN!"

Zoro and I appeared around him. Zoro was on his back side, sticking his sword in the guy's curly hair, and I appeared in front of him with my bazooka in his face. We were both smiling evilly.

"As yourself this…" Zoro started.

"Will two gravestones really be enough?" I finished.

The other guys were about to shoot us, but Mr. 8 knew what we were planning.

"NO! DON'T SHOOT! IGARAPOP!"

-BEOBEOOOOO-

Mr. 8 aimed his saxophone over his and shot at blew it. It let out a terrible noise as bullets flew out of the sax. They hit the men who were about to shoot him from behind, but Zoro and I shared a look and quickly got out of there. He hid safely behind a building.

"ALRIGHT! Where did they go this time?" He asked his cronies.

We caught our breath as Zoro said, "So that thing's a weapon huh? Dangerous."

"They'll make a weapon out of anything nowadays." I told him.

"We need to split up. The 50/50 strategy right?" He asked.

"We need to split _them_ up. They are useless alone, but dangerous in bulk. We would have been shot if we weren't quick enough." I told him.

He looked at his new swords. I didn't even notice them. "Ah yes, my new recruits from Lougetown." He said smiling.

"I guess they need a test run." I told him. "I'll cause a distraction, then we'll split up." I armed my bazooka.

"Sounds good, we'll fight our way back to the roof tops and regroup there." He told me.

"Sounds like a plan. Who ever kills the most bounty hunters wins." I said, giving him a wicked smile.

He gave me a smile just as evil and counted down, "3…2…1…NOW!"


	35. Chapter 35

**Kingman13 here. I would like to take a moment to explain somthing. I'm sure some of you are confused with the whole bounty thing from last chapter, I was too actually. You see my computer, for some reason, doesn't work properly with the publishing program on this site. Usually I get most of it right, but sometimes it doesn't register some of the saves that I do on the chapters I write. You see, originally I had Lufy 40 mil and Screaver 20 mil, but I wanted it to be Lufy 40 mil and Screaver 30 mil (just because.) Yeah it's a bigger number, but that's what I had planned. Well, the first time I published chapter 25, it was 40/20. so I changed it. But seeing as how the story was on chapter 27 at the time, no one probably saw the change until the bounties were brought up again in the previous chapter.**

**So in conclusion, Luffy is worth 40 mil, and Screaver is worth 30 mil, for now. I appologise if any were confused, and promised to prevent this from occurring again. And for all who disagree with Screaver having a large bounty, don't worry. It will balance out after the Arabasta arc once Zoro gets his bounty.**

**Now with that out of the way, enjoy the next chapter.**

* * *

I KEELED FITTY MEN!

Mr. 8 Shows His True Colors

-KABOOM-

I fired a shot at one of the buildings and it blew up. We then darted off into different directions.

"THERE THEY ARE! DON"T LET THEM GET AWAY!"

I heard gunfire all over the place. None of them touched me. Every once and a while I would return fire on them, causing the shots to go off less and less.

I ran into a guy with a massive sword who yelled as he tried to bring it down on me. I punched a hole through his chest and he yelped as he soulafied. (Soulafied=turning into a soul.)

I swallowed it as I heard footsteps coming closer. I blew a whole in the building I was facing and ran inside. I hid behind a couch as I heard people stick there guns inside and fire at everything. I charged up for a mega attack and finally aimed back.

"Mega Buster!"

-KABOOM-

The entire wall was blown off. When the dust settled, all that was left were 4 floating souls.

_Hey Michael? Can I ask you to do something?_

_Ugh…what do you need?_ He groaned.

_Well…it takes a while to go over, eat every soul individually and repeat over and over. Can you make it happen more quickly?_

_Ugh…fine._

I held open my hand, and tried to will the souls to come towards me. The souls flew into my hand and I quickly devoured them. I heard more foot steps.

"Where did that maniac go?" I heard a deep voice say.

"I'M OVER HERE YOU SHITHEADS!"

I fired another shot to get there attention. They were a group of melee users. Blades, clubs, and brass knuckles. Perfect.

I collapsed my bazookas into glove form and slipped into my boxer stance.

"Be careful. This guy is a devil fruit user." I heard one of them say.

"No I'm NOT!" I shouted and bazooka punched him into nonexistence. I blocked the next punch and gave him a good kick to the knee just before bazooka punching him. The next guy came at me with a huge club. He brought it down on me, but I punched upward and it shattered. Then I Bazooka punched him in his fat belly. The other two were no problem, a leg sweap and a wide bazooka punch to the ground. It created a sort of shockwave that blasted them both.

I sucked their souls up and quickly ran to the roof using the stairs of the building that was about to collapse. I couldn't find a door to the roof, so I made one.

-KABOOM-

Just as I was about to climb out, a group of gunners fired at me yelling, "There's Bazooka Bartel! Get him!"

_I feel so cool. I have a name now. It feels so cool!_

I ducked back in the whole and returned fire. The building right next to me lost the entire 3rd story. I climbed out and willed the souls out of there. 5 new souls.

_Zoro is still probably beating you._ Michael added in.

_HEY! WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON?_

I though flash stepping would be a waste of time, so I morphed my legs into bazookas, and launched two blasts from my feet.

"Bazooka Step!"

I was shot WAY TO HIGH! I was about 10 stories from the ground. I could see several groups of people running around, so I took advantage of the situation.

"BUSTER GATLING!"

I fired multiple shots at multiple areas. I saw mini explosions in every place I shot. As I began to decline in altitude I held out my hands and pulled the souls upward.

I was thoroughly disappointed to my results. I hoped I would hit at least 70, but all I got was 23! What a jip!

Oh well, I swallowed each of them, one by one, as I fell to the ground. I morphed my cannons on my feet and landed with a thud. No problem.

_60 souls down, 39 to go._

I was happy that I got almost half of what I need in one night. I guess those piles of people I saw were already done in by Zoro.

I hoped onto a building and saw Zoro crushing Miss Monday's scull. He had a bloody would on his forehead, but seemed ok. He looked at me and said, "Well you sure went to town!"

I shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a party animal!" And we both laughed.

He released the woman and she fell unconscious.

After he rubbed the blood off his head, he said, "Is that all you have to offer? Baroque Works?"

"Seriously! Were so bored! That wasn't even a warm up!" I taunted them.

All that was left were Curly 8, Ginger 9, Miss Wednesday, and a few cronies.

Mr. 8 came to a conclusion. "I get it! The marines must have made a mistake on the posters. Bazooka Bartel must be the real captain while the other swordsman must be the second in command."

I shook my head at them. "Nope! Luffy is our captain. And he is much stronger than both of us. I just got a bounty by killing some marines and threatening a commander."

Zoro seemed offended. "HEY! What am I?"

"You're Zoro of course! I though you knew that!" I said bluntly. He hit me in the head and my stupid joke. I was ready to fight _him_, until the Ginger 9 started blabbing on about how number agents are stronger, and day agents, and power levels, and blah blah blah. _Just shoot them._

-KABOOM-

I fires a shot at where they were, but they all dodged it.

"Hey! What was that about _not_ attacking the girl and curly?" Zoro complained.

"Oh yeah! Sorry…that ginger was pissing me off and I forgot. Silly me. Don't let on that you know that they're good guys. Wound them, do what you like, but don't kill them!" I told them.

"IGARAPOP!"

-BEOBEOOOOO-

We dodged the bullets from Curly 8, as Ginger 9 started to jump toward us.

"What about the guy in green?" Zoro asked me.

"I don't care. Kill him if you wanna!" I said back to him.

Zoro engaged the Ginger 9, I continued to dodge Curly 8. Zoro was easily fending off the Ginger 9…right before Ginger 9 back flipped off the fucking building!

I laughed at that.

"Is this really the best they could do?" Zoro asked.

"There's better. I'm still here." I heard Miss Wednesday said. She was right behind me, standing on her…duck.

"Are you really Mr. Bazooka?" She asked me.

I looked at her and tried to glare at her.

"Now, take a look at this. What do you think bad boy?" She said in a seductive manner. She raised her arms above her head and began swaying her…girly parts.

Ok…personal confession…Remember how I had a weak spot for redheads. Well…redheads AND anime chicks with blue hair.

Hehehe…I'm screwed.

And she was by no means ugly. O nononono! She was pretty gorgeous. Sexy eyes, long blue hair, nice thin waist, and the breasts…oh the breasts…they were BIG!

So where was I? Oh yeah…the swaying. She was swaying her cleavage right in front of me.

"Now…enjoy my Perfume Dance."

My head was sort of…following her chest back and forth. "Ummmm…I like it…a lot." I mumbled.

"Damn it Screaver! Now's not the time to pull a Sanji!" Zoro shouted at me. I tried to look away, but I fell to my knees. I think I had a stupid grin on my face. My legs and arms fell asleep, I couldn't move. And I couldn't stop smiling!

"Hmmm…good boy." She said seductively.

"Yess…mam." I said weakly. My face was beginning to go numb.

"Come on Screaver! You DUMBASS!" Zoro was trying to make me angry, sort of to snap me out of it. It was a smart, but all in vain move, and he soon fell to his knees with a angered expression.

"And now…Peacock Slasher!"

She pulled out her sharp string and spun it. She mounted her…duck and charged at me.

_I NEED TO WAKE UP! I NEED TO WAKE UP!_

_Hey Screaver._ Michael asked me.

_WHAT?_

_Nami. Picture Nami naked. _He said.

I woke up immediately. As she charged at me, I ducked.

"Huh? What?" She was stunned.

"I LOVE NAMI!" I shouted.

Her duck continued to run…straight off the building. I walked over to Zoro and tried to shake him to wake up.

"Seriously, what do you see in that woman?" He asked me.

"A nice pair of breasts and a good soul. That's all I need." I told him bluntly.

He cocked his head to the side and shouted, "DODGE!"

We dove to the side as Curly 8 fired his sax gun at us. We lumped through a hole that Zoro made and ran to the ground. Just as we were about to turn a corner, Ginger 9 jumped out of a pile of boxes and yelled at us.

"Now for my Homerun Sneaky Bat!"

He fired the end of his bat to reveal it had a chain connected to it. It wrapped around Zoro's arm, stopping him for the time being.

"I'M SO SICK OF YOU YA STUPID GINGER!" I shouted and aimed my bazooka at him.

"Don't you move, Mr. Bazooka or your friend here will pay the price!" Miss Wednesday shouted and showed that she had Luffy, asleep, with a big knife at his belly.

I sneered. "YOU COWARDLY BITCH! ATTACKING A MAN WHILE HE'S SLEEPING!" I shouted in anger.

"Relax Screaver, I got this under control." Zoro told me calmly.

Mr. 8 was up to something. He pulled his neck bow and six guns popped OUT OF HIS FUCKING HAIR?

"Zoro! Curly 8!" I pointed.

"IGARAPAPA!"

He pulled his neck bow and fired six shots. I shot down the first set, but he fired again and I freaked out. I dodged so that Zoro could pull Ginger 9 into the line of fire.

-KABOOM-

Ginger 9 intercepted the bullets. Zoro then flung him into Miss Wednesday.

Zoro was in mid-air and yelled, "Screaver! Throw me into Luffy!"

"Don't kill him!" I shouted, and Zoro landed on my arm. I pulled back and sent Zoro flying into Luffy's fat belly.

"Gotta borrow your stomach Luffy!" He shouted, and sprung off of Luffy's belly like a trampoline. He flew towards Curly 8 and sliced his torso.

I flash stepped to the roof just as Curly 8 fell over covered in blood.

"All right, done." Zoro grunted.

"And that's the end of that!" I said with a tune. We both walked over to the side of the building and looked out to the ocean.

"So Screaver, how many did you get?"

"I collected 38 souls, but I killed more than that. What about you?" I asked.

"Oh I lost count. Let's just chalk this up to my win, ok?" He responded.

"HEY! A draw at least!" I said.

"There are no draws!" He said back at me.

"Ok, how about we settle this right now?" I said, getting up.

"Nah, I'm tired." He complained.

I sat back down. "A draw. That's what I say. I'll just leave it for another time."

_Wait…Miss Wednesday…Mr. 8…Arabasta…Vivi…OH SHIT!_

"I GOTTA GO!" I shouted and dashed away. Zoro didn't even care, he just plopped down and took a nap.

* * *

I jumped from roof to roof, until I saw an explosion. I knew that Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine was here and Curly 8…I mean Igaram was trying to stop them.

I was looking behind the edge of the roof of a building, and I say Igaram announce, "YOU WILL NOT LAY A HAND ON OUR PRINCESS! NOT WHILE THE CAPTAIN OF THE ARABASTA SECURITY STILL STANDS!"

"Igaram!" Miss Wedn…I mean Vivi tried to call to him.

The smoke cleared and the other two were still standing. Mr. 5 was wearing that blood red coat and had dreadlocks, while Miss Valentine was wearing a weird fruity dress and had blond hair.

"Igaram captain of Arabasta Security, And Princess Vivi Nefetari of Arabasta Kingdom, we have come here in the name of the boss of Baroque Works to see that you are both eliminated." He said in a gruff voice.

_Should I help? If I don't then that ginger guy will die. But his soul is dark._

Igaram continued to fire shots. I used my scope vision and switched to a different setting. I switched to a one tined with red, and I could se through the smoke. I saw Mr. 5 picked his nose and aimed his hand at Igaram.

"GO ON! PRINCESS VIVI! YOU HAVE TO ESCAPE!" Igaram shouted at her.

All she was able to say was, "IGARAM!"

-KABOOM-

Igaram was hit by one of 5's bombs. He fell to the ground.

"IGARAM!" Vivi shouted in terror, again.

"AHAHA! Don't bother." I heard Valentine say. She was floating above everyone, just before she tried to swipe at Vivi. She was able to dodge the swipe and attacked back, but Valentine did the same. Valentine landed back next to her partner and they observed their handy work.

I saw Zoro watching the fight and jumped down. He quickly grabbed Luffy and pulled him out of the fight.

I heard Igaram say something to Vivi, probably, _Go now! Save yourself!_

She refused to back down and was prepared to fight. She pulled out her peacock slashes and spun them, ready to attack.

"I grow tired of this." 5 said and got ready to flick another booger at him.

_Did that…wait…she won't survive that! Should I? But how…OH THE HELL WITH IT!_

He flicked the booger just as I leaped from my cover and took the hit.

-KABOOM-

I took the hit with my arms wide. The smoke cleared and I was still standing.

Oh yeah, and OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

"What? WHY are you…" She shouted.

I turned, and coughed out some smoke. I smiled to them and said, "At yer service Madame."

Then I turned to Zoro and shouted, "ZORO! WAKE LUFFY UP AND EXPLAIN THE SITUATION! BUT DON'T FIGHT HIM!"

"WHAT?" He shouted back at me.

"JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DOOOOO IT!" I yelled as loud as I could. I turned to face Booger 5 and Valentine.

"Well well well…who do we have here?" He asked.

"AHAHAHAHA! Another good guy to smash!" She said gleefully.

"My name…my name…my name is Screaver Bartel! I'm a pirate, and Demon Weapon!" I shouted at them and aimed my bazooka at him.

"You think you can beat me with a bazooka, kid? Nothing that explodes will even faze me." He said so full of him self.

"I have three…three reasons to kill you. Reason #1. You work for a corporation of pretentious pricks who have nothing better to do than to terrorize and kill."

He picked his nose. I was breathing heavily.

"Reason #2. You plan to kill a good, beautiful woman and the man sworn to protect her! I can't allow that!"

He rolled up the booger and aimed his arm. "And…what's the third reason."

I smiled evilly. I flash stepped right in front of him. He stepped back and looked startled. I planted my bare fist right in his face.

"MY NAME IS SCREAVER BARTEL YOU BOOGER PICKING FAGGOT! NOT KID!"


	36. Chapter 36

Luffy Goes On a Rampage

Wait...ARE YOU SERIOUS?

I slugged Booger 5 into the wall and quickly aimed my gun at Valentine. But before I could fire, she was already gone.

"You got some nerve punk. Trying to pick a fight with top Baroque Work agents such as myself and Miss Valentine." 5 said darkly. He was standing upright, implanted into the wall. He simply popped out of the human-shaped hole he made, and walked out.

"AHAHAHAHA! We are far stronger than those idiots you fought earlier! Were on an entirely different level! AHAHAHAHA!" I heard Valentine shout from above.

I looked straight up at her. She was floating in the air holding onto her umbrella. Haha…under her umbrella…NOWS NOT THE TIME FOR REFERENCES!

I gave her an evil glare and said, "Your laugh is really pissing me off ya stupid feather-weight bitch."

"AHAHAHA! Oooh, I made him angry! AHAHAHAHA!"

_GOD DAMN IS THAT LAUGH ANNOYING! Oh well, I just need to buy time for Igaram and Vivi to clear out before…_

-KABOOM-

I was hit by another one of his bombs. This one sent me flying off my feet into a wall. As I slammed into the concrete, I spat out blood.

"That punch of yours…was that really all you got?" Booger 5 taunted me.

I fell to my knees and spat out some more blood. I cracked my neck and smiled. "Didn't your mother teach you not to pick your nose? It's inappropriate. But a mother of a stupid, inbreed, moron like you wouldn't even think that would she?"

He grit his teeth. He walked over towards me as I got to my feet. I looked and saw that Vivi had helped Igaram out of the area and were leaving.

"Miss Valentine, take care of Princess Vivi and her friends. I'll deal with this loudmouth prick." He told her.

I heard another gush of stupid laugher and she went off.

"Now boy, how should I destroy you?" He asked me.

"I was meaning to ask you…how did you make your hair look like a clump of pubic hair? Did you style it or did it grow that way?" I taunted him.

He gave me an evil frown and kicked me into the building. He detonated his leg so as soon as it touched me, it exploded and blew me into the building.

"Your petty insults are ready staring to piss me off!" He shouted, slightly agitated.

I was sent crashing into a table. I merely got back up and continued. "You know I have another question for you…do you people get sunburned? I always wanted to ask a black person that but was afraid of getting beat up. But your just such a little bitch that you're barely even _worth_ to be called black."

He picked me up and tossed me out of the building. "SHUT UP! RACIST BASTARD!"

He threw me into the building so hard that I flew through several buildings and landed outside. I was looked up and saw Zoro, Nami, a broken Igaram, and a sleeping Luffy staring at me. Ok well Luffy didn't stare but you get my point.

I heard that Nami was offering 1,000,000,000 berri reward to deliver the princess to Arabasta, so I said weakly, "Isn't 1,000,000,000 a little steep?" –cough-

She continued to haggle with him, and by haggle I mean threaten Igaram with the possibility of Vivi being killed. She was all like, "Surely you weren't suggesting that your princess' life was worth more than that."

I was fed up with it, and shouted, "WE'LL DO IT FOR FREE!"

Nami shouted in agony, Zoro yelled in anger, and Igaram was completely shocked and amazed.

"YOU IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?" Nami shouted at me, and was ready to hit me in the head.

"YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY WE COULD GET? I thought you wouldn't even care? Besides, who cares if we don't help the stupid princess get to her home if _I_ don't get well compensated?"

She was hitting me in the head. I got fed up with this bullshit.

I got up, grabbed her fist, and stared her in the eye.

"If we don't help them, a whole country of people is going to die! Innocent people! GOOD PEOPLE! They will be meaninglessly slaughtered if we don't get the princess to Arabasta! Normally I wouldn't care but…but…we can stop it! We can help! We could save an entire country! ISN'T THAT WORTH MORE THAN FILLING YOUR FUCKING POCKETS WITH MONEY YOU GREEDY BRAT?"

I really don't know what came over me. I was just so caught up in the moment that…it all sort of slipped out.

She stared at me, completely speechless. Zoro face was…priceless. He was staring at me, mouth dropped and wide eyed. Igaram was crying, I couldn't tell from fear or joy.

Her face was emotionless. She blinked hard and frowned at me. I released her and fell to the ground, completely stunned.

_What the hell was that? I just…freaked out on her!_

_You were speaking from the soul, Screaver. You can't help it, you're a very passionate guy at heart._ Michael said.

_Well THAT certainly helps!_

She seemed to snap out of it and hit me again. "DON'T GO OFF ON ME! AND IF YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN I'LL RAISE YOU DEBT UP ANOTHER 100,000!"

_Ugh…well she seems back to normal._

She then walked back over to Igaram and asked, "Ok, how's about 50,000,000 berri?"

I smacked my head in anger. _She'll never change!_

"Ok, Screaver, get that princess!" Nami pointed out, in the wrong direction.

"I was already on it!" I got back up and dashed towards the _right _direction. I left Nami to some argument with Zoro.

* * *

I found Vivi being confronted by the two agents. I also saw a huge hole in the ground right behind them, must have been Miss Monday.

_Poor poor muscle woman…she died protecting a friend._

I saw the booger brain ready to flick another bomb at Vivi.

_NOT THIS TIME BOOGER BOY!_

"Take this! My Nose Fancy…Cannon!"

I flash stepped in the way and this time I blasted the booger into bits.

-KABOOM-

I stood tall and proud in front of the two agents.

"Mr. Bazooka!" Vivi shouted at me.

"Glad to see you too." I said back.

"Well…if it isn't the little smart mouth punk?" 5 said ungratefully.

"AHAHAHA! It's that guy from before! I though you got rid of him Mr. 5! AHAHAHA!" Valentine said.

"A minor miscalculation. I won't repeat the same mistake twice." 5 said and rolled up hi sleeve.

"Miscalculation? No…you're to stupid to calculate anything." I said back at him.

Vivi asked, "You again! Why are you…"

I cut her off and said, "I hate Baroque Works, and you're not with Baroque Works. You are a princess of the Arabasta Kingdom, and I will protect you."

"You just trying to get some cash out of this? Because she's royalty? That's pretty…"

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, BOGGER PICKING WEIRDO!" I shouted at him.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

_What was that? Can it really be…OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!_

"I FOUND YOU!" I heard Luffy shout in anger.

_FUCKS SAKE!_

Luffy was wide awake, still bloated like a balloon. His face was filled with anger.

"Luffy! NOT NOW!" I shouted at him.

"YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID! I'LL KILL YOU!" He screamed in anger.

"OH FOR FUCKSAKE!"

"Umm…what…" Vivi asked.

"Luffy doesn't know that this place was filled with bounty hunters, and things I killed all the people for no reason." I said.

"WHAT? But that means…" She looked terrorfied.

"DAMN IT LUFFY, JUST LISTEN!" I tried to tell him.

"JUST SHUT UP! CUZ I'M ABOUT TO KICK YOUR UNGRATEFUL LITTLE ASS!" He screamed. "Everyone was nothing but nice to us! They welcomed us and threw us a party! And gave us FOOD! And you repaid them by blowing up there home!" He shouted in anger.

"DAMN IT LUFFY! THEY WERE LYING TO…"

"NO EXCUSES!"

The ball of a man leaped and swiped at me. I was able to dodge but he shattered the boulder behind me. He then kicked forward and I had to dodge again.

"FUCK IT LUFFY! I'LL KICK YOUR ASS AND THEN EXPLAIN!" I shouted as I punched back. He pounded me into a building and I just had to block his fists. It was fighting a huge, heavy, yoga ball with arms and legs! I could defend well, but Luffy was strong. I knew he was stronger than me.

Luffy sent me flying out of the building and I landed to my feet. Zoro finally showed up and asked, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH LUFFY?"

When I explained to him he hit his head in anger and shouted, "YOU GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!"

"Just defend the princess. I'll deal with Luffy!" I told him.

Luffy got up and roared, "ZORO! I'LL KILL YOU TOO!"

He broke out into a sweat and shouted, "JUST GREAT!"

"Protect Vivi!" I shouted and pushed him away. Luffy pounced at me, but I punched him hard into 5 and Val. They all went flying into a building.

"Get her to her ship! I'll deal with Luffy! It's me he really pissed at for demolishing there houses. Now GO!" I yelled at Zoro. He dashed off.

I kept my eyes on the building that the three were thrown into.

I saw several red explosions blow up the building. Val shot out of the smoke, but I didn't pay her much attention. She was laughing and rambling about her Kilo Kilo Fruit, but I was focused on the building.

I heard her come closer, and I finally shot my bazooka shouting, "SHUT UP YOU FUCKING BITCH!"

She fell into the ground, unconscious. Good, now onto better things.

I watched as a figure was walking out of the smoke. It was a normal sized Luffy, holding a unconscious, beat up Mr. 5.

"That was a good work out. I finally digested some of that food." Luffy said patting his stomach.

"Luffy! I'm going to tell you again! That town was nothing but a bunch of bounty hunters! They tricked us and planned to rob us blind! And if you won't believe me…then I'll BEAT the sense into you!" I shouted at him.

"YOU'RE LYING! BOUNTY HUNTERS WOULDN'T GIVE US TASTY FOOD WOULD THEY?" Was his response.

I think I had an aneurism out of sheer stupidity.

"YOU FUCKING, STUPID, SON OF A BITCH! THAT WAS THE LYING PART!"

"ENOUGH! LET'S FINISH THIS!" He shouted.

_Oh I'm going to enjoy this WAY to much._

"FINE THEN YOU RUBBER BRAINED RETARD! I'LL FIGHT YOU UNTIL YOU SEE REASON!" I shouted and formed my bazooka gloves.

"SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!" Luffy shouted back and roared in anger. Vivi tried to yell at us to stop, but Zoro stopped her.

Luffy stretched his arms back and charged at me. "READY FOR MY GUM GUM…"

I charged up both my fists and charged as well. "TASTE MY MEGA…"

"**BAZOOOOOOOKAAAAAA**!"


	37. Chapter 37

Gum Gum vs. Bazooka Boxing

Nami Makes a Deal...Well...I Do Anyways

Our fists met. The shockwave was so powerful the ground and surroundings began to break. We were evenly matched, we couldn't move an inch forward.

"Ok Luffy! MY bazooka boxing vs. your rubber! We fight until the other one's beat!"

"SOUNDS GOOD TO ME! LET'S FINISH THIS!" He shouted in anger.

"MEGA BUSTER!"

-KABOOM-

I fired a shot at his fist and he was sent backwards. But before he I was finished, he whipped me with his leg.

"GUM GUM WHIP!"

I was sent flying into the right building and he was sent back into the building behind him.

We jumped back out and met fist on fist. I gave him right hook, but he dodged and tried to give me a left punch. But I dodged as well. I ducked under and have him an uppercut to the chin and he brought his heel down on my back. He was sent flying, but I was crushed into the ground.

"GUM GUM GATLING!"

I quickly got up and went into my boxer stance. He threw a volley of punches. I dodged or blocked all of them and then picked up a piece of broken wall. It was big enough to do some damage, but not so big that I couldn't pick it up. I loaded it into my cannon and locked onto Luffy with my scope.

"ROCK-IT LAUNCHER!"

I fired my rubble at him and it knocked him out of the sky, but not before he nailed me in the chest with both of his feet.

"GUM GUM SPEAR!"

I was sent a few feet back, but remained standing. He fell out of the sky and landed on his feet. We stared at each other for a minute, then locked fists.

We saw #5 and Val try to get in the fight, but we glared at them and knocked them out of the park.

"YOU'RE INTERUPTING OUR FIGHT!"

We stared at them for a second, then looked at each other for a minute.

"Now…where were we?" I asked him.

"Right!" He said, and locked in battle again.

Nothing but blocking and punching. He was good, I'll give him that. I couldn't see a weak spot on him. He stretched and blocked, but I was just as fast. I kept to my boxer stance, keeping my arms close into my body and blocking all fists on the sides before going in for a punch to the chest or an arm. His attacks were wider; he would jump back and stretch his arm before leaping above and pulling it back at me. He was really good!

But I kept on him, I used a bazooka punch on him and he flew back a few feet. He then used a Gum Gum Bazooka on me when my guard was down and I was sent backwards. We stared at each other with fierce eyes.

"DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!" I shouted.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" He shouted.

We charged at each other for one more joust.

-BAM- -BAM-

"KNOCK IT OFF!"

A fist smashed me in the face so hard I almost went unconscious. Me and Luffy were sent flying to the ground with surprised and shocked looks on our faces.

"What are you two doing here? At least you managed to keep the girl safe! You almost lost me 50,000,000 berri!"

It was Nami. Figures.

She picked us both up by the collar of our shirts. We were still glaring at each other. I gave Luffy another weak punch, he gave me a weak kick. Nami was talking with Vivi as we scuffled like little kids. I was stretching his nose and ears as he kept pounding on my head.

-BAM- -BAM-

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Nami shouted as she pounded us into the ground. We stopped fighting after that.

* * *

"OOOOOH! HEEHEHEAAAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAAHA! I thought you beat up those guys because they didn't make any of the food you liked!" Luffy cheerfully said.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS IN THAT FUCKING HEAD OF YOURS YOU FUCKING RETARDED RETARD FUCK FUCKIDY FUCKING SHITFORBRAINS! WHO THE FUCK WOULD FUCKING BELIEVE SOMETHING SO FUCKING FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP FUCKER!"

In laments terms…I was pissed off.

Nami had sat us both down in our own personal time out areas. She then explained, in detail, the situation. Vivi confirmed it. After they finished, Luffy thought for a minute (Luffy thinking? Yeah right…) and let out a huge gush of crazy laughter. Zoro was keeping his mouth shut (smart move) but still looked like he was bout to clobber Luffy over the head.

"HAHAHAHA! What a funny mix up! HAHAHAAA!"

"I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL BEAT SOME SENSE INTO YOU SOMEDAY YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!"

"BE QUIT!" Nami shouted in a extremely loud voice. We both immediately stopped. Her evil face molded back into a money grubbing smile.

"So that's my deal. In exchange for safe passage, I'd like 50,000,000 berri!"

"Are you still on with that? I told you! We'll do it for…"

-BAM-

"BE QUIT YOU! YOU ALREADY COST ME ANOTHER 50,000,000 BERRI!" She shouted at me. I kept my mouth clamped shut.

"I appreciate the offer, but I can't." Vivi said. She was looking very scared and worried. She was biting her lip.

"Why not? You're a princess after all! Aren't you rich?" Nami asked stupidly.

I felt like…a bit of my sanity snapped that moment. "OF ALL THE STUPID, CARELESS, SELFISH, MORONICK THINGS YOU'VE SAID…"

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

"Want to say anything else?" Nami asked me as I rubbed my swollen head.

"I'll thut(_shut_) up now." I said weakly and fell over.

"Do you know much about Arabasta Kingdom?" Vivi asked Nami.

"I do!" I said quickly and flinched, prepared for another hit from Nami. She eyed me, but allowed me to continue.

"It's a desert country…full of sand. Rain was scarce, but it wasn't that much of a problem. It was a great and peaceful country. I remember…gypsy girls dancing in the streets, wide open markets with happy people, and incredible creatures. I visited there once, for about a month, a good month. From what I remember, it was a good place to be. Until several years ago, when a massive drought hit Arabasta. It hasn't rained for several years, right?" I asked her.

She nodded in sadness. "Well, from what I heard, the country has apparently broken out into civil war. The people are revolting against their King, Cobra, because they think he…did something." I tried to think.

"They revolted against a snake?" Zoro stupidly asked.

"NO! The King's name _is_ Cobra! Cobra Nefetari." I corrected him.

"What did he do?" Nami asked.

"I can't remember. Maybe if _some woman_ didn't give me permanent brain damage I could remember!" I said angrily, glaring at Nami. She glared back at me.

Vivi seemed to cheer up and said, "You have most of it right. Yes, Arabasta was a great desert kingdom, and the drought and civil war is happening as we speak. But…"

She then explained how Baroque Works were behind the civil war, and how she infiltrated the company in order to find out what was happening.

"You got some guts considering you're a princess." Zoro said admirably. "So…were you able to find out what their plan was?"

"To create an ideal nation. At least that's what Igaram said it was." Nami said.

Vivi told us that was false, and they really wanted to take over Arabasta.

She was gripping her legs in anger and frustration. "I have to get back to warn everybody somehow. To tell them the truth and stop the fighting! If I don't do something…if I don't tell them…"

She was shaking. She then started crying. I really felt sorry for her, and would go up and say something encouraging, but fear of getting hit by Nami overruled my _good nature_.

Nami just shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Ok I get it. I see how it is. Ya, it's all staring to make sense now." She said with a look of boredom on her face. "I suppose you wouldn't have much money laying around during a civil war."

I really got fed up and said in a aggravated tone, "She just told you that the country she loved is being wrecked by evil bastards. She is literally sitting there in tears, and all you can think about is your GOD DAMN MONEY?"

-**BAM**-

"Googogogogogaoaoggoagoa?" I mumbled.

"So Vivi, did you find out who's in charge?" Luffy asked her, grinning wildly.

Her expression became full of terror. "What? The boss' identity? You shouldn't ask that!" She shouted at him. We all jumped at her sudden mood change.

"But you know, don't you?" He asked again.

"ASK ME ANYTHING BUT THAT! IF I TELL YOU YOUR LIVES WILL BE PUT IN DANGER TOO!" She pleaded to us.

Nami just laughed nervously and said, "Yeah I'll pass…I mean this guy is trying to take over an entire country after all!"

"Wait…wait…oh yeah I remember. The leader is Crocodile! Mr. 0! Hahaha! One of the seven warlords of the sea! I almost forgot that! What a funny thing to forget that I saw the an…"

I just realized that I wasn't thinking inside my head. I looked and say Vivi's face at 100% terror, Nami's face at 800% terror, and Luffy and Zoro were just shocked that I knew that.

"Oh…Sorry! Just thinking out loud! Hehehe…"

**-BAM- -****BAM**- -**BAM**-

"50…no…100,000,000,000 BERRI!" Nami screamed at me, bashing me so hard over the head I was surprised I didn't get a concussion.

"HOW! HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?" Vivi shouted at me.

"?" I mumbled.

The bird and otter were staring at us. They seemed to make some mental notes and flew off.

Nami was shouting and screaming and crying at Vivi, trying to somehow unlearn this fact as Luffy and Zoro were grinning about their new enemy.

"A warlord huh? That's so cool!" Luffy cheered.

"Not to bad." Zoro said in agreement.

I looked in a mirror and saw the swollen, deformed lump that was now my head.

_Uh, just another day._

Nami smacked me a couple more times and tried to run away, but the otter drew pictures of all four of us and left. She then came back to us with her angry face on. What a talented otter. He could become an artist with his talents of drawing by memory and…now is not the best time.

"_Sowy(sorry)_! I was tinkin(_thinking_) out lowd(_loud_) and it jus(_just_)…sipped(_slipped_) out." I tired to tell her.

"Ugh. Already in the Grand Line and we're being hunted by a warlord!" She was shouting.

"Nami, you know I will protect you. I have to! I WANT to." I told her. She glared at me, but I just looked at her and she seemed to let up. I think I even saw her smile a little…hopefully.

"You have –cough- MA MA MAMAAAA! You have nothing to fear princess." I heard Igaram say. We all turned to face him and…I almost died laughing.

He was…he…how should I put this…he was wearing the EXACT same outfit Vivi was wearing. He even put his curly hair in a sort of pony tail that reminded me of that ammo that came in lines on guns…you know…that kind?

"PFFFFFFFHAAAAHAAAHAAAAHA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING? PFFFFHAHAHAAAHA!" I doubled over and pointed at him. I continued for about 10 seconds and immediately went back to normal and said dully, "Sorry. I find cross-dressers funny."

Igaram was talking to Vivi and told her a few things. What she said in response was, "Yes…knowing Baroque Works they'll probably send 1000 agents after me."

Nami shot up, back with terror on her face.

"I'll protect yoooou!" I repeated.

"Thus my plan," Igaram continued, "disguised like this I will pretend to be you. I'll take these four dummies aboard with me and I'll set a straight course for Arabasta."

"A decoy." Zoro translated.

He kept talking, but I wasn't listening as I was trying to comfort Nami as she repeated over and over again in a spooked out tone, "1000…1000 soldier? 1000!"

"It's ok…it's ok…I'll protect you!" I kept repeating.

Nami shouted at Igaram, "HOLD ON! WHO SAYS WE WERE GOING TO TAKE HER WITH US?"

"I DID! We are going to take Vivi on are ship, sail to Arabasta, kill that stupid Croc, and save her freaking kingdom! Right Luffy?" I shouted.

"Wait…that's what this yelling has been about?" He said confused. He tought for a second and said, "Sure! No problem!"

"LUFFY! CROCODILE MIGHT ALREADY BE AFTER US!" Nami shouted at him.

"Captain's orders." I told her.

Luffy asked Igaram about Crocodile and told him his past bounty was 80,000,000.

"WHAT? THAT'S FOUR TIMES ARLONGS BOUNTY!" Nami screamed.

"So? Luffy is only half that! And he can beat people way stronger than that. Right Luffy?" I asked him again. I was having fun.

"YEAH! I wanna piece of this Crocodile guy!" Luffy declared.

"Well that settles it Nami. We are going to Arabasta!"

* * *

Igaram was about to board his ship. We all were on the docks.

He did his voice check thing and put his voice in a falsetto. "_Now I Vivi will leave from here._"

"Hehehe! Great imitation old guy!" Luffy cheered.

"Princess, please give me the eternal pose." Igaram asked her.

She pulled out a log pose, but it was in sort of wooden stand. Igaram explained how Eternal Poses work to everyone else. He said his goodbyes and his thanks to us all.

_Aren't I forgetting something?_

He was all set to leave before I shouted, "HEY! Wait up!"

He turned to me, and I held out my hand.

"What do you need?" He asked me.

"This is how I make a promise. I never break the promises I make, even if I die. I need you to shake on it." I told him.

He seemed to understand and grabbed my hand. "Please, _promise_ to deliver the princess safely to Arabasta." He said in a serious tone.

I nodded and shook. "I promise on pain of death to protect Vivi from harm and to bring her back to her home."

He smiled. "I can't begin to thank you all for what you are doing for me. Please be careful on your route."

"Igaram." Vivi said, and went to hug Igaram. He patted her on her head and smiled warmly.

_Aaaaaaawww…ain't that nice…I'm sure I'm forgetting something. What was it? WHAT?_

* * *

He boarded his ship and sailed off. We watched as he stood at the back of the ship amoungst his decoy dummies.

"And there he goes. He was such a funny old man." Luffy said.

"What's more, he's a reliable old man." Vivi said fondly and watched him on the horizion.

A pulse in my brain triggered as they said those lines.

_SHIT! WHY NOW?_

"WAIT! IGARAM!" I shouted in terror. Too late.

-KABOOM-


	38. Chapter 38

Leaving Behind Whiskey Peak

Encountering the Lovely Miss Sunday

A huge, spiraling explosion hit the ship. It was engulfed in flames and smoke. The shock was so big it blew into our faces.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! IGARAM!" I shouted and punched the ground in anger.

"They're already after us? That's impossible!" Nami shouted in terror.

Luffy turned around and yelled just before he charged into the city.

"Nami! The log!" Zoro asked.

She checked her wrist. "Um…It's fine! Were set!"

"Screaver! Get the princess to the ship and get it ready! Nami, come with me!" Zoro ordered.

I snapped out of my anger and grabbed the princess.

"Come on! We have to go! Now!" I tried to tell her. She was biting her lip so hard it bled. I tried to wake her up, but she just started crying.

I grabbed her and held her. "I never did this with another person. But it'll have to do! FLASH STEP!"

-WHOOSH-

I flash stepped her close to our ship. I released her and rushed to set the sails. Vivi was about to jump off the ship before I grabbed her.

"NOO! NOOO!" She protested. She was a lot angrier than what I could remember.

I held her tightly and looked her straight in the eye.

"LISTEN TO ME! Igaram gave his life doing what he loved to do! Protecting you! If you go out now and get yourself killed it will all be for NOTHING! And I can't let that happen! I mad a promise to that old man! I NEVER BREAK A PROMISE! We are going to get you home! Trust me! THEY CAN'T KILL SCREAVER BARTEL!"

She stared at me with wide eyes. She shook her head and seemed so snap out of her freak out. She leaned on me and began crying more. I rubbed he back.

"Besides, we may be a group of six pirates, but we have the man who's going to be King of the Pirates! And the man who will be the next World's Strongest Swordsman! We can't lose!"

She looked up at me and I smiled back at her. She seemed to look a lot more hopeful.

_Wait…What am I doing? I love Nami…HOLY SHIT!_

She sniffed up her tears and nodded at me. "Thanks for that." She said with a shaky voice.

The duck jumped up and let out a loud QUACK!

"Carue! You made it!" Vivi said cheerfully and hugged her duck. Zoro jumped up as well.

"Little featherbrain beat me." He said in disbelief.

* * *

It took a few minutes for Luffy and Nami to get to the ship. Oh wait…Luffy, dragging an unconscious Sanji and Usopp, and Nami.

Zoro and I had pulled up the anchor and everything else. Vivi told us to continue sailing up stream and we would reach the ocean faster.

Usopp and Sanji finally woke up, complaining about how they wanted to stay at Whiskey Peak. Nami gave them the short version. And by short version…what do you think?

-BAM- -BAM-

"I left out the complicated parts." She simply told us.

We sailed through the fog. The sun was finally rising and the fog was actually starting to clear up. I was keeping an eye out in my crows nest. No signs of danger. I also counted out my money.

Appearantly the bag of cash I won only had about 30,000 berri in real cash, and the rest was just a bunch of fucking rocks!

_Ugh…figures…nothing's been going right today._

"We'll be reaching the sea soon." Vivi told us.

"Hey! Cool! Looka t all the fooooog…" Luffy said in amazement.

"Finally it's getting light out." Nami said gratefully.

_Igaram…Ugh…Why didn't I remember until AFTER he was killed. Damn it! Michael, I thought you could help me with my memories._

_My powers have been deteriorating since we got here. I can't help you as often as I use to. I'm sorry. I never wanted that guy to die you know!_ He tried to defend himself.

_It's not your fault I guess…I need to become a death scythe soon._

"I'm just glad we got away from the people who were chasing us." A female voice said from behind us.

_OK! I DEFINENTY KNOW WHO THAT IS!_

I slowly turned around and saw…oh hot damn!

I saw…ah…Miss All Sunday sitting on the railing of our ship. She was…oh let me tell you how she looked.

HOT AS LAVA! DROP DEAD GORGEOUS! FINE AND SEXY!

Seriously, what women looked like in the anime was NOTHING compared to what they looked like in real life. She had tanned skin, long black hair, and two gorgeous blue eyes. She had a seductive and sexy smile on. And her body…oh ho hoho boy…don't get me started. Besides having breasts _bigger_ than Nami's and Vivi's, a slim figure 8 waist, and nice hips to boot, she was wearing…get ready…a tiny purple vest thing that only covered her boobs (held together by a string), a purle short shirt, and I do mean SHORT! And cowboy boots, plus a purple cowboy hat to complete the wondrous costume.

Basically…She was pretty.

_Having second thoughts about Nami?_ Michael asked.

_Ummm…I don't think I can…I made a promise. And I did confess._

_You are only human you know._ He said.

_Wrong! I'm a Demon Weapon!_

_Oh right right._ He said sarcastically.

Everyone turned around finally and saw Miss All Sunday sitting on the ship like she _owned_ the place.

"Who are you? And what are you doing on my ship?" Luffy asked in anger.

"I ran into your friend Mr. 8 a while back…he didn't look so good." She said, still having that grin on her face.

_Wait…SHE KILLED THE OLD MAN? OK! THAT TEARS IT! I'M GONNA…Well she is pretty…..NO NO NO! SHE KILLED IGARAM! AND I LOVE NAMI! I CAN'T GO BACK ON TWO PROMISES…but look at her bust size…NONONONONONONO! FOCUS!_

I was having an argument with myself. The others were arguing with Miss Sunday as Luffy kept going back and forth between, "So she's a bad guy?" and, "So she's a good guy!"

"SHE'S A BAD GUY YOU NUMBSKULL!" I shouted at him, giving away my position. She stared at me and slightly smiled more.

"Well well well, if it isn't Mr. Bazooka Bartel himself." She said gleefully.

_Ahhhhhhhh…She said my naaaaame…NONONONONO! FOCUS!_

"You know me?" I asked her, trying not to stare.

"I know both of you. Both of your wanted posters have been spread across the Grand Line. You two are getting pretty famous." She said, faking interest.

_Ahhhhhhhhh…She thinks I'm famous…NONONONONO! STOP THINKING WITH YOUR PENIS AND THINK WITH YOUR BRAIN!_

I was sweating, probably blushing. She just seemed to chuckle at my behavior. I gulped.

I weakly tried to say, "Well…umm…I guess that…"

"You still haven't told us why you're here!" Vivi shouted at her in anger, cutting me off.

Her smiled faded and turned into a frown. "You were just so serious on the whole thing that I couldn't help myself. A princess doing whatever it takes to help her country, while making herself an enemy of Baroque Works? The idea was just so…ridiculous."

_WAKE UP AND FIRE AT THE BITCH!_

I mounted my gun on the side of the crows nest. I locked onto her using my scope.

Big mistake. It gave me a close up of her…beautiful face…I couldn't fire! I would have…blasted through the ship! That's right! Hehehe…

"YOU KILLED HIIIIIIIIM!" Vivi shouted in anger. Usopp and Sanji up and were aiming a slingshot and gun at her head. Zoro took his sword out and Nami took out her staff.

Sunday frowned and said, "I would really appreciate it if you would…"

Everyone was disarmed in a second. Sanji and Usopp were tossed off their feet, Zoro and Nami's weapons were knocked out of their hands.

I was still debating on whether to shoot or not.

"I have no reason to fight you." She said calmly, and made Luffy's hat fly towards her.

I finally gritted my teeth. "Yeah? Well we have plenty of reason to send you to the bottom of the ocean." I said darkly.

She looked up at me and saw my gun pointed at her. She just smiled again.

"Now, do you really want to attack me? That gun of yours surely will blow a hole in this ship." She tried to reason.

She didn't have to. All she had to do was smile and say _don't kill me, pretty please?_ My knees were already turning to jelly.

"Now put that gun away, please?" She asked cutely.

That did it.

"Ummmmmm…" I was mumbling. I let go of my gun and fell over.

"Huh? Screaver! What did you do to him?" Luffy shouted in anger. "And give me back my hat!"

They talked for a few minutes, I couldn't hear them.

_Wow…nice work there ladies man._ Michael said.

_._

I heard nore chatting and I heard Sanji shouting, "OH WOW! NOW THAT I GET A GOOD LOOK AT YOU, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!"

I popped right up and shouted at him, "Shut up Pervert Cook!"

I heard Sunday laugh slightly and say, "Getting jealous? Are you Mr. Bartel?"

_Ahhhhh…she said…SHUT UP! WE WENT WERE OVER THIS!_

I jumped down from the crows nest. Vivi was holding that Eternal Pose of that one place or another. Usopp was cowering behind the mast and Luffy was still pissed about his hat.

I took the Pose from her and asked, "What do you think Luffy?"

He shook his head at me. "She doesn't decide where this ship goes." He said firmly.

I loaded the pose into my gun and fired it out into the ocean.

"Ooops…I dropped it." I said, trying to act cool.

-BAM-

"YOU JERK! SHE JUST SHOWED US AN EASIER COURSE TO FOLLOW!" Nami shouted at me. I dodged her kick and glared at her.

"That woman has a dark soul. Therfore, I WILL not trust anything she gives us! You hear me woman! WE WANT YOU GONE!" I shouted at Sunday.

She frowned slightly and walked off. "You killed Igaram, so I want you GONE! Got it you stupid Baroque Work-dog? LEAVE!" I shouted some more.

"I'm sorry to hear that." She said. "If you survive, I hope we'll meet again." She said looking at me before she left.

I gave her one of my death stares and said, "No, I don't."

She frowned at me again, and tossed Luffy his hat back. She leaped off the ship and landed on…a huge turtle. Sorry, the pause was for me to take in the fact that there was A GIANT TURTLE THE SIZE OF THE SHIP!

Zoro and Usopp leaned to the side to watch this animal swim away. Vivi walked over to me to say something, but I collapsed from…God knows what.

Hey, you saw how I acted around Miss Sunday! It took all my energy to put on that boost of confidence. I needed a nap.

"Screaver! Screaver! You ok? What did she do to you?" Luffy was shouting.

"Must have over-stimulated the poor kid." Zoro joked and let out a chuckle.

I said in a muffled tone, "_Go to hell shitty swordsman._"


	39. Chapter 39

Entering Little Garden

This Ain't No Jurassic Park

Nami had just finished explaining the situation to Usopp and Sanji. Vivi and I added in all the missing parts when needed.

"Well it's to bad that I missed all the fun, but it seems there will be plenty more demand for my skills. No need to worry now that your sleeping prince has awoken my sweet, you will be safe." Sanji tried to say in a smooth and cool manner.

The key word being _tried_.

"I swear to God I'll will beat him into a forever sleeping prince if he doesn't shut up." I said to Zoro. He just nodded, still giving Sanji a dirty look.

Sanji turned his head towards me and frowned. "You want to say something else, shithead?"

I cracked my neck and said back, "Bring it blondie. If I can go toe to toe with Luffy I can beat your pansy ass."

"That was down right scary what you two did." Zoro told me.

I sighed. "What can I say?"

"HEY! Don't ignore me you shithead!" Sanji shouted in anger.

"OR WHAT?" I shouted back.

"KNOCK IT OFF YOU TWO!" Nami shouted.

I turned away. Usopp asked me, "So Screaver, what happened to you back there? You didn't even try to attack that woman."

Zoro smiled and said, "Like I said, I bet that woman was too much for him to handle! He almost passed out from just looking at her!" And he started laughing.

"HEY! SHUT UP DOUCHE-NOZZLE!" I yelled.

"Awww, he's upset." Zoro taunted.

I was getting really pissed off. I was about to kick him in the face until Nami glared at me some more.

"She merely caught me my surprise, and I would have destroyed the entire ship if I attacked."

He sighed. "Yeah, yeah, just messing with ya Screaver." He said, going back to sleep.

Nami looked at me, first angry, then she looked kind of…jealous.

"So…you were looking at that woman huh?" She asked, stepping closer to me.

"WHOA! NO! NO! NO! Not like that! I don't even…I mean…whew I need a nap."

She just shook her head. "Stupid Eroboy." She said.

_Great…from Eroboy to STUPID Eroboy…I need a break._

"Excuse me." Vivi tried to ask us. We all turned to face her. She had changed out her bounty hunter outfit and was in some clothes Nami had.

"I'm sorry, but is it really alright for me to be on your ship? I'm just causing you all a lot of trouble." She said quietly.

"Relax. You're here, and our captain decided on it already. We are going to take you back to Arabasta. Besides, I promised Igaram, and I never break a promise." I told her.

She seemed to smile a little.

"At least we know where we're going now. Right Luffy?" Zoro asked.

He held up his arms and cheered, "Yeah! I'm hungry too!"

_A little random but ok._

"Little Garden." I said.

Luffy laughed and then cheered, "Ok guys, let's go! But first…FOOD!"

* * *

After the meal, I returned to my crows nest. The wind had stopped blowing so Luffy and Usopp wanted to fish. Unfortunately, Luffy ate the bait so they decided to chase that duck around and use _him_ for bait.

Typical day on the Going Merry.

I was going over my inventory. I had the following:

-one beat up acoustic guitar (from Cocoyashi Village)

-one torn blanket and pillow

-one old game boy

- around 45,000 berri (I knew I was missing some)

-one extra pair of clothes (given by Nami, don't know how)

-one brown jacket (also given by Nami I later figured out)

-one new empty cargo box (given by Sanji when my last one broke)

-one carotene lamp (also given by Sanji)

-one special tarp (made by Usopp)

A pretty random collection of stuff, but it was my stuff.

I heard Luffy and Sanji running around the deck, Zoro and Nami yelling at them, and the annoying quacking of that stinking duck. But I can't blame them when there are people who want to throw him overboard.

I leaned out the side of the nest and shouted, "Shut up! Damn! I'm trying to think!"

Luffy stopped and looked up at me. He seemed to get an idea and smiled widely. He shouted up at me, "HEY SCREAVER! SING ONE OF THOSE SONGS YOU KNOW!"

"What? Now? Well…sure! Why the hell not?" I grabbed my guitar from my nest and jumped down. I landed with a thug and sat on the steps of the ship.

"You sing?" Vivi asked.

"Been singing for many years. Know a lot of songs."

I thought for a moment and decided to sing my favorite; Full Moon Sway.

"Here's a favorite of mine. Full Moon Sway." I said smiling at Nami.

_Full moon sways  
Gently in the night of one fine day  
__On my way  
Looking for a moment with my dear_

_Full moon waves_  
_Slowly on the surface of the lake_  
_You are there_  
_Smiling in my arms for all those years_

_What a fool!_  
_I don't know about tomorrow_  
_What it's like to be_  
_Ah~_

_I was sure_  
_'Couldn't let myself to go_  
_Even though I feel_  
_The end!_

I continued on. I saw Luffy and Usopp smiling and clapping. Sanji was just staring at me in awe (_suck it, cook._) Zoro peaked open an eye and watched as well. As for the girls, I couldn't tell what they were doing since I was facing the opposite direction.

I strummed the last notes and got a huge applause from Luffy and Usopp. Sanji was still just staring at me, his cigarette fell out of his mouth.

I coughed slightly and asked him, "Could you possibly get that thing away from me?"

He seemed to snap out of his trance and said, "Huh? Oh yeah, sorry." He stepped on the cigarette.

"THAT WAS SO AWESOOOOOME!" Luffy cheered.

"Yeah Screaver! You're really good!" Usopp added in.

I smiled at them. It was nice to get a compliment. I turned around to walk up the steps and saw Nami and Vivi staring in awe.

"That…was beautiful." Vivi said in admiration.

Nami just huffed. "Big deal, I already heard that song."

"But not with…a guitar." I corrected her, holding up the guitar. She turned away and went inside. But before she did she said, "Well, it was ok…I guess."

"I'll take that. Good afternoon." I cracked my neck and returned to my crows nest. Then I dropped the guitar in its place, put my head on my pillow and fell into a nice snooze.

* * *

I awoke by hearing Sanji shout out, "Hey guys! Anyone care to sample my special drink?"

I flash stepped to the bottom of the ship, startling Sanji and almost spilling the drinks. I took one glass and said politely, "Thank you Sanji. I'll clean the glass myself."

I flash stepped back up, but heard Sanji shout, "USE THE ROPE LADDER NEXT TIME JACKASS!"

I sipped down his drink while playing some of the game boy. I was already on the 4th badge and had a team of five Pokémon on level 30 already. Man, I am sucha dork.

I got bored and looked out to the side. I overheard the guys thinking on going fishing and I shouted down, "I'm in!"

I leaped down and started talking to Usopp about his custom fishing rod. He was talking all about building out of _this_ and it could catch _that_ and I tried to pay attention.

We saw a dolphin splashing on the east side of our ship. It leaped up and showed us that it…was the size of a FUCKING AIRPLANE! It soared over us and we just stared in awe as it make the _vrroooooom_ sounds an airplane makes before it landed on the other side and diving back in. It was going to come around for another jump so we had to prepare.

"EVERYONE! LET'S GO!"

We all went to work, pulling ropes, adjusting sails, and turning the rudder. We caught a huge wave the monster dolphin caused and we surfed off it safe and sound. It was kinda fun now that I think about it.

"Hey look guys!" Luffy shouted. We looked out and saw a huge island. It had a lot of forests with huge, white mountains on it.

"Our second island in the Grand Line!" Luffy shouted cheerfully. "I can see why they call this place Little Garden."

"I can't!" Zoro responded.

He's right. Huge vegetation, giant mountains, and…wait did I just see a huge animal in the trees? Probably nothing. Hopefully.

I was looking through with my scope vision, but even my scope can't see through thick trees. These things were huge! They went up and pass the crows nest.

-CAW- -CAW-

A loud screeching sound filled the air. We all covered our ears in pain.

I looked up and saw what was making the sound. A huge, plane of a bird was swooping down ready to grab us with it's huge talons. It was about to pick off Sanji when he wasn't looking.

I aimed my bazooka and fired.

-KABOOM-

The bird was hit and fell into the water below. Everyone freaked out at the huge explosion and the fact that they were about to be eaten!

Sanji was knocked down from the shock of it all.

"Your welcome!" I shouted.

He looked up and gave a angry frown. "Damn bird!"

Luffy looked over the side of the ship. "Wow! Can we eat it?" He shouted, probably mouth-watering.

A few more minutes of cowering and complaining passed unitl a huge…and I mean tank sized….Bengal tiger was stalking our ship from the shore line. It followed us, with Nami and Usopp screaming and cowering, until if fell over dead covered in blood.

Everyone freaked out about that, except Luffy who shouted at Sanji, "Make me a Pirate Lunch! With lots of meat and no vegis! I need extra energy!"

Nami protested but Luffy was too pumped up.

"Say Luffy," Vivi asked him, "would it be alright if I come along with you?"

Everyone freaked out about that, but Luffy said, "Sure! Sounds great!"

Nami and Usopp strongly protested, but she was set on going with Luffy.

"Vivi, if you go exploring you'll need to eat. I'll pack you a lunch." Sanji told her.

"Make that two lunches, Sanji! And make the second one super sized!" I shouted and jumped from the crows nest.

"You're going too?" Usopp asked weakly.

"Sure am! That bird got me all fired up! I wanna see what else there is in this jungle." I said, winding my arm up.

"Besides, I have to keep a close eye on you Vivi." I told her.

"I can take care of myself you know." She reminded me.

"I know, but it wouldn't hurt for some extra protection right?" I suggested.

"I guess you're right." She agreed. "Sanji, could you also make something for Carue?"

"Of course. Leave it to me." He said and went into the kitchen.

* * *

Sanji came out with three bags of food and Carue's drinking bottle. He loaded up Luffy with a huge blue knapsack, gave Vivi a normal sized pink bag, and gave me a big green backpack.

He fastened Carue's bottle and said, "Now you're all set! Three pirate lunches for Luffy, Screaver, and Vivi and a special drink for Carue."

Luffy thanked him and leaped off the ship. Vivi followed after him.

"Thanks again Sanji. Good bye everybody!" I said and hopped off with the rest of the group.

"Just don't get yourself killed!" Nami complained.

"Well, see you guys later!" Vivi shouted back, and the three of us ran into the jungle.


	40. Chapter 40

Meeting the Great Giant Dorry

I Block Interference

We were running through the jungle. Luffy was ahead of us, Vivi followed on Carue, and I was bringing up the rear.

Lot's of plants, trees, bushes, and vines. That's about all I could say. No animals, no monsters, no people. It was like an uninhabited jungle.

Luffy stopped and turned towards a shallow pool. He saw these weird looking fish. Kinda looked like an Omastar.

Again, I kinda had Pokémon on the brain a little.

"Strange, it sort of resembles an ammonite." Vivi examined.

_Wait…Little Garden…Giants…prehistoric island…I remember!_

"This is a prehistoric island, we'll find a whole bunch of old and even extinct animals here." I said.

"Wow! Like what?" Luffy asked.

"I don't know. We'll find out soon." I told him.

-THUD-

A huge thumping sound shook the ground. Vivi suggested we head up further and we continued on the path.

"Hey! What's a Sea King doing on land?" Luffy asked and pointed up.

We looked up and saw…_pause for dramatic effect_…a huge, long neck dinosaur with green scales towering over the tree tops.

"IT'S…A DINOSAUR!" Vivi shouted in terror.

"AWESOOOOOOME!" Luffy and I shouted cheerfully.

It was huge! It had large teeth, green scales, and it looked so cool. It was nothing like those CGI dinosaurs you see in movies. It was REALLY REAL!

Vivi was trying to explain on how traveling on the Grand Line was difficult so some islands could become isolated and blah blah blah I was just looking at the cool dinosaur.

I felt like such a tourist, because I really wanted to take a picture of it.

Luffy got bored as well and jumped onto the dinosaur.

"ARE YOU INSANE?" Vivi shouted in anger.

"No, he's just incredibly stupid." I corrected her.

Luffy was trying to tell the dinosaur something, and yanked its neck so hard it let out a loud honk.

"YOU IDIOT!" Vivi shouted in terror.

Soon the ground shook and MORE dinosaurs of the same kind showed up, but they were twice as big as the one we just found.

Luffy was thrilled. He then began jumping and stretching from one head to the other, shouting at us, "Hey Vivi! Screaver! You got to try this!"

"Ok!" I agreed and was about to jump up before Vivi shouted, "NO! It's too dangerous! Are you crazy?"

Before I could answer, Luffy was swallowed by one of the dinosaurs that seemed to be the alpha.

"LUFFY, NO! THIS IS AWFUL! HE'S BEEN EATEN ALIVE!" Vivi shrieked in terror.

-SLICE-

The neck of the dinosaur was cut off. The body of the dino collapsed as we looked at the killer.

It was a gigantic…giant. Yeah, a giant. I would guess so since it was a human, just in a GIGANTIC size. He was just a little taller than those long neck dinosaurs. He looked like a Viking sort of, with a helmet and a huge armor. He was weilding a massive sword that looked dull and worn out. He had a wooden shield as well, which seemed like it was the size of a small town. He had what looked like a brown waterfall coming down from his chin, until I saw that it was his beard!

_This guy…his name is…Dorry I think. He and another giant are hear to fight over…something…and the other one is…OH SHIT! HE'S GOT NAMI!_

I stamped my foot in frustration over my bad memory.

"GUAGUAGUAGUAGUAGUAGUAG!" The giant laughed. He held out his hand and caught Luffy as he flew out of the giant neck of the dead dinosaur.

"WHAT FUN! THAT WAS GLORIOUS! WATCHING THE LIKES OF YOU GRAPPLE WITH LONG NECKS IS THE MOST ENTERTAINMENT I'VE HAD IN QUITE A WHILE!" He bellowed.

**(I use all caps when the giants speak.)**

"YOU ARE MY FIRST VISITOR IN A LONG TIME!" He continued. His voice was so loud I could hear him clearly from all the way down here.

I however couldn't hear Luffy. He seemed to be saying something to the giant and he bellowed, "HUMAN? DON'T EVEN JOKE! GUAGUAGUAGUAGUAGUA!" He laughed again.

I kinda liked his laugh. It was funny.

He continued, "GREATEST WARRIOR OF ELBATH, I AM DORRY! GUAGUAGUAGUAGUA!"

Vivi was ready to faint. Carue on the other hand _did_ faint. I was just watching the two guys just talk casually.

"It's a…giant." Vivi weakly stated.

"Yes he is." I said jokingly.

"I've heard they actually exist but I've never seen one before." She said.

"The Grand Line…is a bigger place then I remembered it." I lied.

Luffy said something else and the giant bellowed once more, "GUAGUAGUAGUA! A PIRATE? WELL GOOD FOR YOU MY FRIEND! GUAGUAGUAGUAGUAG!"

Luffy said, louder so I could here, "By the way I'd like you to meet Vivi, Carue, and Screaver. Say hi to Dorry!"

"HIII DORRY!" I shouted and waved my arms at him.

"That's great Luffy! Just can't shut up! And WHY ARE YOU SAYING HELLO?" Vivi shouted in anger.

"What? He seems nice, and Luffy asked me to say hi. So I did." I told her.

"GUAGUAGUAGUAGUAG!" The giant laughed again. "TELL YOU WHAT? YOU'RE ALL INVITED TO MY HOME! GUAGUAGUAGUAG!"

* * *

We arrived at Dorry's home. It was inside one of those giant white mountains that had huge holes in it. He had cooked us both a giant stick of dinosaur meat. In fact, he cooked three! One for him, one for Luffy, and one for ME!

I was tearing through that thing so fast! I ate half of Sanji's lunch on the trek to this place and gave the rest to Dorry, so I was hungry! It was so sweet and tender! I didn't think dinosaur was editable, but there you have it.

"You sure know how to cook giant!" Luffy I guess thanked him.

"WHY THANKS FOR THE COMPLIMENT! YOU'RE PIRATE GOODIES ARE EXCELLENT TO! ALTHOUGH THE PORTIONS ARE A LITTLE SMALL! GUAGUAG!" He responded.

They were talking for a while, but I was busy eating the giant dino piece by my self.

"GUAGUAGUAG! YOU HAVE QUITE AN APPETITIE FOR A HUMAN! GUAGUAGUAG!" The giant laughed.

I stopped for a second and saw how much I ate.

_Wow…I really ate that much?_

It was missing the entire top, right down to the bone. Luffy had only eaten the equivalent of one huge bite on the stick of dino.

"I was kinda hungry. You never find food in this size out there, you know?" I asked him.

"GUAGUAGUAGUAG! WELL THAT'S TRUE FOR YOU HUMANS!" He laughed.

This was kinda weird in my opinion. You see, when Arlong would refer to us as _humans_, it was an insult. But when he said it, it was like he saw us like we were hear to amuse him. But it wasn't mean like with Arlong.

Food for thought people. But now…more food for me!

"I'm glad you liked it, or otherwise I'd have to beat you up!" Luffy said casually, eating some more meat.

Dorry stopped in mid laugh and said, "WHAT'S THAT? IS THAT A THREAT, SHORTY?" He said in a sort of angry tone.

Vivi and Carue seemed to have a heart attack when he said that.

"HAHA! I LIKE YOU LITTLE PIRATE! YOU'RE REALLY FUNNY! GUAGUAGUAGUAG!" He quickly changed his tune and was beating his leg in laughter.

"They're becoming fast friends." Vivi said weakly, almost seeming like she was going to pass out.

"Huh?" Luffy grunted. "I don't mean to pry but why do you choose to live here by yourself? Don't you have a village to call home?" Luffy asked.

The giant's smile faded. His voice got lower. "I came from a village, a place of many warriors, called Elbath. It once was home, but I don't call it that anymore." He said looking rather discouraged.

"Why?" Luffy asked curiously, taking another bite of meat.

"There are certain rules in Elbath which must be behaved." He said.

"Hmm? What kinda rules?" Luffy asked.

"For example," the giant explained, "If a fight breaks out and neither side yields, judgment is handed down by Elbath's god. Whoever he deems riotous will be declared the winner. And granted survival as well as divine protection."

"So Elbath's god decides the winner? Oh you mean like the winner of the fight has the favor of God." I said understanding.

"GUAGUAGUAG! That is correct human. The one who is chosen by Elbath's god will be the victor of the fight, and slay the other one in battle." He confirmed.

"How long have you been fighting then?" I asked.

"GUAGUAGUA! We've been fighting for almost a century! But Elbath has yet to choose a champion. GUAGUAGUAG!" He cheerfully said.

"You guys have been fighting for over a hundred years?" Luffy asked in amazement.

Dorry told us how giant's live up to about three times a humans life, so 100 years wasn't that long compared to a giant.

"Even with all the time in the world I think your desire would wane after 100 years of the same battle! At this point, is there really any animosity left between you two, or are you just fighting to fight?" Vivi asked him.

_Oh yeah…Vivi is kind of a pacifist. Just great. I'm a guy who loves to fight, and she's a girl who hates to fight. Just great._

The giant just laughed at her.

-BOOOOOOM-

The volcano (when was there a volcano again?) erupted and the top exploded several times.

"Well then, it's time for me to get going!" Dorry said and got up from his seat.

"Why? You going to fight someone? That guy you were talking about?" I asked him.

"Yes. It became such a routine that we used that volcano as our marker for our fight." He said, smiling widely.

"It's senseless! How could you have so much hatred for one person that you would fight them for over a century?" Vivi complained.

"Vivi, do yourself a favor, and stop trying to stop them." I told her.

She looked at me and said, "But…"

I stopped her. "You have no idea what a fight is to giants. It's there life. Besides, they've been at it for over 100 years. Do you think that _you_ could possibly make two very powerful and very serious giants stop by just telling them to _stop_?"

She grit her teeth. "It's just…so pointless." She seemed to take it really bad.

"It's not our business. We are humans, they are giants. You don't want to get between a man and his fight, man or giant. Trust me and Luffy." I looked at him.

He nodded at me. Vivi seemed to remember. I was talking about the fight that the two of us had back at Whiskey Peak, and how we sent the Baroque Works agents into a wall for trying to get in the way of our fight.

"Believe me, it's not for anger." He said.

I felt the ground shake as another set of foot steps were heading towards us.

"IT IS FOR HONOR!" His voice grew louder. He charged. I climbed to the top of a tree and watched the two giants head straight towards each other.

"I HAVE FORGOTTEN THE REASON FOR OUR BRAWL!" He bellowed.

-**CLANK-**

The moment their weapons collided, a huge shock wave was sent all though the island. I could fell it, almost fell out of the tree. It was so loud and powerful, I thought I could almost feel their passion for fighting.

Ok, maybe that last part was a load of bull, but still they were very passionate about fighting!

Luffy fell over in shock. Wow, Luffy fell over in shock.

Epic. Purely epic. The one word I use to describe a fight between two giants was…EPIC!

It was like a regular fight, but they were huge! The pure amount of energy put in swinging one of there swords was enough to make the trees get ripped out of the ground. They went all over the island. They jumped, they ran, and they sidestepped. Each attack would create a massive wave of energy pulse out. I could see there expressions. They were so determined to defeat the other.

It was a battle of EPIC proportions, for sure.

It was a lot better than HDTV, for sure.

"AHAHAHAHAHA!" I heard a familiar, God awfully annoying, laugh from a few miles away. I don't know how, my hearing isn't normally that good. Maybe that laugh is so loud that I could hear it from miles away.

_Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine's Day are here._ Michael reminded me.

_Great, could have known this a lot sooner!_

-BAM-

Both of the giants shield bashed each other in the face, hard.

"73,466 duels." The other giant moaned.

"73,466…draws." Dorry groaned in response.

They both fell with a huge thud on there backs.

"GUAGUAGUAGUAGUAGUAGUAGUAGUAG!"

"!"

Both of the giants laughed as there duel ended.

"HEY DORRY! A COUPLE OF GUESTS OF MINE BROUGHT ME SOME ALCOHOL!" The other giant yelled out.

"DRINKS? IT'S BEEN A LONG WHILE, EH BROGGY?" Dorry bellowed in response.

_Awww…even after trying to kill each other, they remain friends. That's…really weird. But hey, not my thing._

* * *

"GUAGUAGUAG! THAT'S INTERESTING! SO BROGGY'S GUESTS ARE FRIENDS OF YOURS THEN? I SAW A GOOFY LOOKING GUY WITH A LONG NOSE AND A WOMAN THERE!" Dorry told us. He had several barrels of something in his hands.

"That's Usopp and Nami!" Luffy told him. "They said they weren't even going to get off the ship! I guess they wanted an adventure of there own after all!"

"I think they didn't mean to." I told him.

Dorry was chatting with the other guys, but I wasn't paying attention. I was deep in thought.

_Something…something is going to happen here. I don't know what. It has to do with those barrels of alcohol I think. Wait…let me retrace what happened. Broggy and Dorry fought, he got the barrels of alcohol, we were talking. He takes a drink and…Damn it! Why can't I remember? All I can remember after that is that Broggy kills Dorry in battle!_

_I think the barrel explodes._ Michael tried to tell me.

_What? How?_

_Well, there are those other guys from Baroque Works._ He suggested.

_Wait...the bomb! Thanks Michael._

"HEEHEHEEAAAAHAHA!" Luffy's laughing ended my train of thought. Dorry was laughing as well, with the guaguaguag and the hahahaha…

Yeah, forget it.

Vivi was looking rather angry and upset, like she was about to burst out with anger or sadness.

I patted her on the back and gave her a comforting smile. "Don't worry about those idiots. We'll find a way." I said, not even knowing what the fuck they were talking about.

She loosened up a little and quietly thanked me.

_STOP COMFORTING VIVI! I LOVE NAMI! NAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIII!_

_OH SHUT UP RANDOM PART OF MY BRAIN THAT SEEMED TO TAKE OVER AS MY ACTUAL CONSCIOUS! OR LIBIDO!_

The giant was about to take a drink but I instinctively shouted, "STOP!"

He gave me a confused look. "Why the sudden change of heart? It's alcohol! I haven't had alcohol in what seems like decades!" He said.

I darted forward and snatched them away.

"YOU CAN'T! IF YOU DO, YOU'LL EXPLODE!" I shouted at him.

He laughed again. "Explode? YOU THINK I CAN'T EVEN HOLD MY ALCOHOL! GUAGUAGUAG!"

_A bomb…There is a bomb inside the barrel._ Michael said quickly.

I quickly ripped open one of the barrels, nothing but drink.

"What are you doing Screaver?" Luffy asked me.

I opened the next one, no luck.

"COME NOW! I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE MY REFRESHMENT NOW!" Dorry shouted in annoyance and reached for the last barrel.

I quickly flash stepped towards it and opened it. Sure enough, a black ball with a small device attached to it was floating inside the barrel.

"What is that?" Vivi asked in shock.

I picked it up, loaded it in my gun, and fired it off into the jungle.

-KABOOM-

The blast was enough to destroy several trees, I couldn't imagine what would have done to his insides.

"WHAT IS THIS? SOMEONE PUT A BOMB IN THIS ALCOHOL!" Dorry shouted in anger.

"How did you know?" Luffy asked me.

_OH SHIT! Think of something…think of something…_

"I…heard ticking from one of the barrels! Yeah, it sounded like a bomb!" I said quickly.

" But why did you look through all of them?" Vivi asked.

_CRAP! Think…Think…THIIIIINK!_

"I just DID! GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?" I yelled.

_Good thinking…dumbass._ Michael taunted.

_Oh shut up you!_

"Someone is trying to capture you and Broggy! I know…I saw other people on the island. A guy with a 3 in his hair and a little girl!" I tried to explain.

Dorry didn't really care, he was continuing to drink his _debombified_ alcohol.

"A three in his hair…a little girl…" Vivi was staring off into space, thinking about something.

-KABOOM-

The volcano erupted. "WELL, I THANK YOU FOR THE DRINK, although I am a little upset about that bomb though." Dorry said.

"Don't worry, Luffy'll get them. You get back to your fight!" I ensured him.

"GUAGUAGUAGUA! HIT THEM HARD!" The giant cheered, and left to go fight.

"I can't believe someone would try and interfere with there fight." Luffy said darkly, looking rather pissed off.

"We'll get them! Where's Carue by the way?" I asked Vivi.

"He was here just a second ago." Vivi said, growing concerned.

_AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!_

Nami's voice screamed in my head.

"GOTTA GO!" I shouted, and raced into the forest.


	41. Chapter 41

Mr. 3 Reveals Himself

I Step in and Ruin His Plans...Not Really

_What the hell was that? I heard Nami screaming! That must mean she's in danger! I gotta help! Somehow…_

I darted though the forest, couldn't find anything. I somehow found the two giants fighting instead. I watched them fight equally, neither one giving an inch.

I guess it is a fair fight seeing as how one isn't fighting with a blown up stomach.

I continued through the forest, still nothing but plants. I didn't see anything else but trees, not even any dinosaurs.

_What did I make everything run away from me?_

-GROWL-

I turned and was almost eaten by a raptor. It pounced at me, almost biting my face of, but I side stepped and punched it in the face. I even knocked out a few of it's teeth.

"Bastard."

It was twitching on the ground when I picked up the three broken-off teeth. I slipped them in my pocket.

"Hey, why not? Good momento."

* * *

After searching for a few minutes, maybe an hour, I decided to return to Dorry's place. It's only been a hour or so right?

_Hang on. I'm trying to remember._ Michael told me.

_Thanks, I'm at remembering compacity._

_There are a few clips of Nami being captured by the wax man, and Vivi being captured by the booger man._

_AND YOU WAIT TILL NOW TO TELL ME?_

_I'm sorry! MY powers reflect on you! If you have a bad memory, I can't get information as fast or as good! I'm sorry!_

I pounded my fists in anger.

_Great, I lost both Nami and Vivi. Just my fuckin luck._

* * *

I rushed through the forest, completely having no idea where to go. I jumped to a tree and climbed up. I looked out, using my scope vision, and saw this massive white thing form out of the ground almost a mile away.

_Damn Waxman, you hurt one hair on either of their head and I'll…_

_STOP COMPLAINING AND GET MOVING!_ Michael shouted, giving me a minor headache.

I flash stepped through the forest, but it still took some time to get to the open field.

"Welcome one and all! To my famous candle set!" I heard a voice shout.

I peaked out and saw Zoro, Nami, and Vivi placed inside some sort of giant cake with a huge pumpkin on top.

I continued to listen to that giant dick-wad talk about how he will turn them all into wax statues, and how he cheated Broggy his win, and said even more things that made me want to hit him even more.

I didn't know if Dorry actually died. He was cut across the chest and was also covered in wax.

I also saw 5 and Valentine standing close by, along with this strange little girl sitting on a picnic blanket eating cookies.

_Weird._

Broggy began shouting at him about a whole bunch of stuff, the honor of a warrior of Elbath and how strong Dorry was.

"HOW DARE YOU INTERFERE WITH OUR FIGHT! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS FIGHT MEANS TO THE GIANTS OF ELBATH! DORRY SHALL BE AVENGED FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!" The giant bellowed.

"Ugh…That was a truly glorious speech Broggy. But how about give it to one who is actually dead." A gruff voice said.

Dorry was alive, thank god, but he was still pined down by the wax.

Broggy was in tears. "DOOOOOORY! YOU'RE ALIIIIIIIIIIVE!" He was so happy, he was crying and smiling so widely.

"But HOW? YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED! That tampered alcohol along with that fatal blow should have killed you!" 3 said in fear.

-KABOOM- -KABOOM- -KABOOM-

Mr. 5 let out a barrage of boogers on the giant's faces. The giant's became nonresponsive.

"Their conversation was getting on my nerves." He said.

3 increased his wax on them both.

"WAX WAX…HANCUFFS!"

He coated all their hands in wax and them impaled them into the ground.

They both roared in anger and pain.

"HOW COULD WE BE BEATEN BY THEM?" Dorry shouted in anger.

I watched that guy laugh even more and turned to the giant cake. Then I realized…WHY THE FUCK AM I SITTING HERE LIKE A DIPSHIT?

The wax began snowing on them. Vivi and Nami began coughing.

"GOOD! GOOD! Act like you're in agonizing pain! AHAAHAAHAA!"

"FLASH PUNCH!"

-BAM-

I flashed stepped and hit him as hard as I could in the face. His expression was complete shock and disbelief as he was sent flying into the side of a tree.

5 and Valentine looked at me in annoyance.

I was breathing heavily. I didn't even try to contain my rage.

"I'M GOING TO GUT YOU LIKE A FISH YOU STUPID SACK OF WAXY SHIT!"

"Screaver!" Vivi and Nami shouted.

"Well it's about damn time!" Zoro said in annoyance.

"Well well well…if it isn't the fat hippo bitch and the booger picking retard. I thought I sent you flying into a wall. You should have STAYED THERE!"

I charged at them. Valentine flew upward and 5 flicked several boogers at me. I hit them all, but kept charging. I hit him in the gut. He doubled over and punched me, detonating his fists.

I flew back a little, but got to my feet.

-CLUNK-

A huge white weight formed on my legs.

"CANDLE LOCK!"

I couldn't step forward. I tried to move my legs but the weight on them was solid…wax.

"No one escapes my wax! Now you'll need to be punished!" 3 shouted at me, with my fist imprinted on his cheek.

Mr. 5 dashed for me, but I jumped and tried to change my leg into a bazooka. It glowed, but when it tried to form, the wax got in the way and it squeeze my leg.

_This wax is almost indestructible. It's blocking your powers._ Michael warned me.

Before I could crawl away, 5 gave me another bomb punch.

-KABOOM-

I got to my feet and returned fire. It hit 5, but he just shook it off.

"I see you don't have an ordinary bazooka. No matter. I will still pay you back from Whiskey Peak!" He sneered.

I was so busy with him, that I barely heard the annoying laugh and then, "10,000 Kilo Press!"

-BOOM-

She landed near me, but the sheer impact was enough to hurt me. The rocks hit me and I fell over. This ankle weight was really a problem.

I tried to blast the thing off. No good. Not even a scratch.

They continued to wear me down, I tried to block, until 3 got my arms too.

They didn't even have to try. They just got me down one more time and I struggled to get back up. I may be strong, but that stuff is really heavy! I tried to swing it at them, but I was slow and they would just hit me again.

3 made my wax cuffs melt onto a tree. My hands were over my head and my feet were pressed to the bottom.

They spent the next several minutes just getting there hits on me. 5 would just keep punching me and laughing slightly.

My shirt was blown off, and I had a wound on my chest.

"Not so tough now huh?" He said coldly.

"Alright Mr. 5, I think you gave him enough for now." Mr. 3 said coldly.

He stepped back and formed some wax in his hand.

"Next time, don't charge in head first with out first surveying you're opponents. Oh wait, ther won't BE a next time! AHAHAHA!"

The blob turned into a spike and he pierced my hands into the tree.

-SHING-

"SCREAVEEEEER!" Vivi and Nami shouted in terror.

"AAAAAAAAHHHH! SHIT!" Was my answer.

Ok, I couldn't even begin to describe the pain I felt, so I'm not going to try.

Mr. 3 was laughing evilly. Mr. 5 was smiling, and Valentine was doing her annoying laugh.

Tears were rolling down my face.

"I'm…I'm sorry…" I said, beginning to cry.

"Hmmmm? What was that?" Mr. 3 said.

"NAAAAMIIII! VIIIVIII! I'M SORRY I COULDN'T KEEP MY PROMISE!" I said.

_I have no other choice._

My soul wavelength began pulsing through my body.

"NO SCREAVER!" Nami shouted in agony.

"DEEEMOOON HUUUNTEEER!"

My arms were growing bigger, the wax began to crack. Mr. 3 stepped back nervously.

"DEEEEEEEMOOOON HUUUNTEEEEER!"

The wax broke and my cannons came out. They were steaming with purple energy. I fell to the ground. I deactivated one of my cannons and aimed the other at Mr. 3.

"DEEEEEMOOOOOON BUUUUUUSTEEEEEER!"

I fired one blast. Mr. 3 dodged it like a coward. It instead hit Miss Valentine, who screamed in agony before turning into a dark soul.

"MISS VALENTINE!" Mr. 5 shouted.

I walked over to the soul and ate it.

"I'm sorry…I seemed to have…eaten your partner." I said weakly.

"YOU LITTLE SHIT!" He screamed and hit me again. I flew into the side of the cake. My Demon Hunter deactivated.

"SCREAVER! ARE YOU OK?" Nami shouted.

I looked up and saw her staring down at me. I coughed up some blood. "Does it look like I'm ok?" I said so quietly I don't think she could hear me. "I'm sorry Nami. I left you…alone…I'm such a…screw up."

I fell unconscious.

* * *

"WHEN I GET BACK I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASSES!" I heard Luffy shout as he flew across the plain. His scream was enough to wake me up.

I was fading in and out, but I could see Luffy, Usopp, and Carue walking towards the pillar.

"Luffy…" I groaned and reached out to him. I finally fell out of the imprint I made in the wax sculpture. Parts of my body was covered in wax as well.

"SCREAVER! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" Usopp shouted at me.

"I took…took one of them down. You have to take…the rest." I said.

Blood was dripping from on top of the cake. I guess…Zoro tried to cut his ankles off.

_Weird. But hey, not my thing._

I got to my feet and wobbled over to them, but the wax guy stepped in front of me.

"Now do you really think that I'm going to let you regroup after…disabling one of my agents. I don't know what your power is, but I will put a stop to…"

-BAM-

I may have been weakened, but I was still strong enough to punch that bastard in his ungrateful face. He went flying, but not as far as I would have hoped.

I turned and aimed my bazooka at the big wax thing. I may not be able to destroy it, but I can knock it off it's rotation.

-KABOOM-

I was hit by another booger bomb.

"HOW DARE YOU KILL MY PARTNER YOU LOUSY SON OF A BITCH! I WILL KILL YOU FOR THAT!" Mr. 5 shouted in anger.

I merely got up and turned to Luffy. "Luffy, you take care of the wax man. I got…got this booger picking faggot."

I looked at my hands. They had blood on them, but the holes on them seemed to have closed up. It was still noticeable, and it hurt like crap, but I wasn't down yet.

I formed my bazooka gloves and slipped in my boxer stance. I formed a sly smile.

"Bring it booger boy. Let's teach you some manners."

* * *

**Kingman13 here with an important announcement. Well, seeing as how the school year is right around the corner for me, I will now be updating this story once a week. What day I don't know. I plan on releasing a new chapter every Friday seeing as that's when I'll have time (on the weekends) but we'll have to see. I'm starting the schedule now because I have to spend the next two days getting ready for the year. Until nexttime, chow!**


	42. Chapter 42

**Well, school has been hell, but I was able to squeeze enough time and type the next chapter early. Like I said, I _may_ be able to submit a story twice a week. Every Friday and maybe one other random day.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy the next chapter and...well, you'll find out.**

Trying to Crush the Cake

I Develop a New Fetish?

"CANDLE LOCK!"

Mr. 3 sent a stream of wax at Luffy. It encased his legs in the same weight I had. He struggled to move, but began tripping over his new lock.

"You moron!" Nami shouted in anger.

"Mmmm…What is this thing? Whatever it is, it's nice and heavy." Luffy asked.

"CANDLE LOCK!"

Mr. 3 sent another attack at Luffy, but I destroyed it before it reached him. His wax is easy to destroy when it's liquid, but not when solid.

Luffy jumped into action. He grabbed onto Broggy's helmet and began spinning around. He began spinning faster and faster, made me kinda dizzy just looking at him.

"GUM GUM MALLET!"

The weight collided with the column and broke it in half.

-CRASH-

The broken column fell off of the cake as the candle holder fell…straight down on the platform and continued spinning. In fact…even faster.

"FUUUUUCK!" I groaned in agony.

I guess I'll have to break it manually. I began to rush over to the cake until Mr. 5 fired another bomb at me.

-KABOOM-

I ran through it and kept going.

"Oh no you don't! CANDLE LOCK!" Mr. 3 shouted.

He fired on of his wax streems at me, but I leaped over it and fired my bazooka at the giant thing.

"BUSTER GATLING!"

No matter how many I fired, all I managed to do was slow the thing down by a lot. Not a dent in it.

_How tough is that wax? Wait…wax…candles…FIRE! I just remembered._

Fire melts wax. No matter how tough that wax is, it's still wax. Wax…MELTS!

Jesus. How long did it take for me to get that? Ugh.

"That was a close one. But why didn't you guys runaway?" Luffy asked stupidly, still clinging on to Broggy's helmet.

Nami and Vivi shouted in anger, "BECAUSE WE'RE STUCK HERE! ISN'T THAT OBVIOUS?"

"Ohhhh, really? So that's what's going on?" Luffy said, again stupidly.

"DAMN IT LUFFY! A LITTLE HELP OVER HERE!" I shouted, continuing to fire shot after shot. Every shot was draining my energy, but I was pulling it from Michael's special stock of energy he got from those fishmen souls.

"My…body…I don't know what's going on! I…can't move at all!" Nami said in terror.

Mr. 3 was grinning evilly. Which turned into another evil laugh. "You fools! All you did was move the candles closer! And by doing so, you only sped up the solidifying process! You'll become wax figures even sooner now! WELL DONE! AHAHAHAH!"

I collapsed to the ground. My arms were in a lot of pain. I was having trouble breathing. Some of my joints were covered in that wax, so my movement was being limited.

Luffy was still being ignorant about the situation, so I decided to do something else.

"Hey Dorry…Broggy…You guys holding up?" I asked.

Broggy's face was half covered by wax, I couldn't see Dorry's face from my position.

"It will take more than that waxman to beat two great Elbath warriors." Dorry said, breathing heavily.

"WAX WAX HARPOON!"

The wax man fired a wax harpoon at Luffy, but I was able to blast it.

_I can break small amounts of his wax, but just not a large solid mass of it._

I saw Usopp fire something at Mr. 3 when he was focused with Luffy, but Mr. 5 just…ate the shot and it exploded in his stomach. His stomach inflated, and smoke spewed out of his nose, but he seemed unharmed.

_Ok, that's really weird. Oh well, it's not my thing to…eat exploding things._

"I'll…you…distract wax man. You destroy…pumpkin." I stuggled to say.

"Right! GUM GUM BAZOOKA!" Lufy responded and fired his attack at the pumpkin.

"CANDLE WALL!"

Mr. 3 created a wall of wax and intercepted his attack, but I went into action. I leaped off his stretched arms and was propelled into the air. I flew over the wall and landed on top of the pumpkin. It was spinning fast, but not as fast as I was before thanks to me slowing it down.

_If I knock off the candles, I can melt the whole thing, including Nami and Vivi. Oh, and Zoro too_.

"GET HIM OFF!" I heard Mr. 3 scream.

I fired my gun at one of the candles fired. The thing knocked off and fell below.

"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL US!" I heard Nami shout in anger.

" wahahahahahahahahaaax!" I tried to shout, but the spinning was distorting my yells.

I broke off another candle. I grabbed onto to the side and looked below. I was melting parts of the cake, but not the right ones. I needed to time my shots and fire it right over Zoro.

"ZOOORORORORORRO! CUUUUT THHHEE CAAAANDLLE!" I shouted.

"I can't move! I can flip my sword, but you have to fire it right under me!" He shouted back.

I got to the candle I selected. I peered over the side. I counted the rotations.

_1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 1and 2 and 3 and 4 and NOW!_

-KABOOM-

I looked over and saw the fire on both sides of Zoro.

_Perfect._

I was about to jump off but I lost my footing as that indescribable pain throbbed in my chest.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

I fell over the side and was thrown to the ground with a thud. I gripped my chest in pain.

"Screaver! What's wrong?" Vivi shouted at me.

"Damn it Screaver! I told you not to!" Nami shouted after her.

I was staring at the sky when the sliver of light came out of my chest. My senses felt nothing but pain. I couldn't move a muscle. Blood was coming out of my mouth and came out from the side of my mouth.

"SCREAVER!" Luffy looked down at me and shook me to respond.

"WAKE UP SCREAVER!" He shouted.

"I'm not…asleep you…idiot." I struggled to say. He smiled knowing I was ok.

I coughed some more blood. "Luffy, you…do this…by yourself. I've done…what I could…I'll try and…get back up…I gotta protect…Nami and…Vivi…I made…promises."

Luffy patted me on the head. "You did enough Screaver. Thanks, I got it from here." He said in a serious tone.

Luffy ran off. I couldn't see anything. My body was still in a lot of pain. I could barely hear anything as well.

_Damn it! I need to get back in there! Michael, a little help please!_

_I can't! You soul was just torn apart! If I try anything else, your body wouldn't be able to take it!_ He warned me.

_WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET IT? I WILL NEVER DIE! DON'T TELL ME THE ODDS AND GET ME BACK IN THERE!_

…_Ugh. Fine! I'm working on it now! It will take a few minutes to create a barrier around your soul to keep it from getting more damage, then releasing more energy and altering your pain receptors, plus adding some extra…_

_SHUT UP AND DO IT!_

_Yeah yeah, but don't be crying to me when you're about to die!_ He complained.

The pain was slowly beginning to ease up, but I still couldn't see or hear anything about what was going on.

Finally after a few minutes of _adjustments_, I was up again. I saw Luffy standing on a black symbol of some kind, with everyone else yelling at him to help.

_I think I remember. It's that…Miss Goldenweek…that little girl who was eating cookies. She has…paint that can affect…one's mood._ Michael informed me.

I was sore all over, and my chest was still in pain, but I couldn't focus on that. If I focus on the fight, and forget the pain, then I won't collapse! PERFECT SENSE!

I forced my self to run and tackled Luffy off the symbol. I didn't touch the pain and he snapped out of it.

"What just happened? I was acting really…"

"FOCUS ON SAVING EVERYONE!" I shouted at him and shoved him in the direction of the giant wax cake. The fire I made had gone out, but the cake was making fewer flakes of wax now, and the others were able to move a little bit. Zoro was still in his pose, but Vivi and Nami were struggling to get there feet out.

I turned around and faced the little girl, almost falling over my own feet. She had a red hat on, a shirt that had clouds on it, and stripped long stockings. She looked kinda weird. Especially with those really red cheeks.

"You don't seem like in you're in any shape to fight. You should stop." She said, munching on another cookie.

I sneered and aimed my gun at her. "I WILL PROTECT THE ONES I LOVE!"

I tried to fire a shot at her, but my leg seemed to give out and my shot demolished the tree next to her instead. I was on one knee, breathing heavily. My vision was blurry.

She dabbed her paint brush and flicked a pink swirl at me.

-SPLASH-

I couldn't dodge it; The symbol it splat onto my chest.

_WHOOOOWHOOOOWHOOOWHOOOA!_

I felt really strange. It was warm at first, and then, comforting. I was staring at that little girl and…I felt so attracted to her.

_Oh HEEEEEEEEEELL NO! I'M NO FUCKING LOLICON!_

My face was blushing; I think I was smiling a little.

"Colors Trap, Lover's Pink."

She walked over to me, and touched my face. He hand felt…so soft and comforting.

"Now, who do you love?" She asked me.

I smiled and said drowsily, "I…love…you…Miss Goldenweek."

___**FUUUUUUUUCKING HELL!**_

"OH FOR GOD'S SAKE! NOW'S NOT THE TIME SCREAVER!" Zoro screamed in rage.

"WHAT IS THIS?" Vivi shouted in terror.

"I though you loved Nami." Luffy said quietly.

I was FURIOUSLY fighting the new attraction to this little girl (may I never be sane again), but just looking at her made me feel…so warm and happy.

_I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT A LOLICON!_

_Wake up Screaver! You love boobs! BIG BOOBS! Nice giant boobs with a fine ass to go with it! _Michael was trying to snap me out of it, very crudely by the way.

_But she's so…cute and…pretty…SNAP OUT OF IT! I LOVE NAMI! But she's so…NO! NO! NO! NAMI! NAMI! NAMI!_

_**(I SWEAR TO CHRIST HE'S NOT A LOLICON! THIS JOKE IS MESSED UP, EVEN FOR ME!)**_

Miss Goldenweek walked past me, focusing on Luffy. His back was turned so she had the ample time to strike. I struggled to turn my head and I saw Nami. I couldn't see her face. She was looking down.

"Hey Screaver." I heard Nami say.

I was trying to pay attention, but my head was fighting my brain to look at Miss Goldenweek.

"What was that kiss for then? I didn't think you were a…Pedophile. I thought you liked me."

My body furiously shook. I was forcing my arms to move towards my chest.

"I…AAAAAAAAM…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT…"

With one last push I smudged the paint on my chest.

"A PEDOPHILE!"

The spell was broken, thank GOD. I charged towards the little girl and did, probably, one of the worst things I have ever done.

I lifted her over my head and tossed her into the forest.

"I LIKE BOOOOOOOOOOOOBS! FUCK OFF STUPID LOLY!"

She screamed as she was flung into the trees. I was breathing heavily, with a look of pure anger on my face. I turned to look at the others. Vivi was shocked, her mouth was hanging open. Zoro was pretty much the same thing. Luffy was laughing his head off.

My angry look faded as I turned to Nami. She smiled a bit.

"Stupid Eroboy." She said.

_I'll take that over pedophile, any day._

* * *

**Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaah...I really don't know where the hell that _joke_ came from.**

Screaver: Hey Kingman13...come over here. I want to talk to you about this episode.

KM13: **Ummm...why do you have your bazooka drawn?**

S: Just come over here...NOW!

KM13: **CRAP! Well...bye guys! Stay tuned fot the next episode!**

S: GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!


	43. Chapter 43

**Sorry about being so late, school's been hell. But here's the next chapter!**

* * *

Blowing Out the Candles On the Cake...Or Torching the Cake Entirely!

Departing Little Garden

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Zoro shouted in anger at my outburst.

I was still going. "I'M NOT, NOT, NOT, NOT A PEDOPHILE! NOT NOT NOT! I LOVE WOMEN, NOT LITTLE GIRLS! I LOVE…"

-BAM-

Usopp and Carue rammed into me when my back was turned. They seemed to recover from it, but that pain was multiplied by 100 when it hit me.

"Sorry, wasn't looking." Usopp said.

"DAMN IT!" I shouted in pain.

I struggled to get back up and hit him in the face.

"WATCH IT YOU ASSHOLE! LUFFY! BREAK THE PUMPKIN!"

I fired one last blast onto the pumpkin, right against the rotation. The pumpkin didn't let up.

"NOW BREAK IT!" I shouted at him.

"RIGHT! GUM GUM BAZOOKA!"

-KABOOM-

Mr. 5 shot a bomb at Luffy. I looked up and saw he was holding a gun.

"No chance." He said.

I heard loud footsteps, and what seemed to be…gears whirling.

"Usopp." I told him quietly.

He looked at me in terror. "It's wax. Wax will always melt to fire. Use that to your advantage."

He seemed to think for a moment, and nodded at me in agreement.

"CANDLE…CHAMPION!"

I looked into the forest and saw Mr. 3 in some sort of armor. It was a huge mass of wax covering his whole body, with boxing gloves, spikes, and giant feet.

"What the hell?" Zoro said in disgust.

"What the heck is that?" Luffy asked.

"That thing is what Mr. 3 used to take down a man with a 42,000,000 berri bounty." Mr. 5 told us. Mr. 3 was beating his chest and laughing like crazy.

I turned to Mr. 5. I cracked my knuckles.

"You seriously thnk you can face me? Looking like that?" He said humorusly.

"Yep." I said and fired my bazooka at him. He fired his gun and the blasts canceled each oher out.

This repeated several times. His gun must have had unlimited ammo or something, because no matter how many times I fired he would just fire back.

I didn't want to move in to risk one of his punches, so all I could to was use my ranged attack.

I could see out of the corner of my eye that Luffy was fighting the wax armor. Luffy couldn't make a dent in that thing, no matter how hard he punched.

**-KABOOM-**

I was distracted long enugh that one of his blasts connected with my shoulder, sent me stumbling back a few steps. But I stamped the ground hard and fired back. But he negated again.

"You fool. My gun has unlimited ammo, but yours is draining your energy with every shot. Just lie down so I can kill you already!" Mr. 5 said gleefully.

"LUFFY! GET THE FIRE OVER HEAR AND LIGHT THE ROPE!"

I just noticed that the wax cake had been wrapped in a long rope. Usopp was pouring a canteen all over it that had brown frothy liquid.

"YOU GOT IT!" I heard Luffy shout.

"OOOOOOWEE! THAT'S MY HAIR!" I could hear Mr. 3 shout.

"IT WON'T WORK!" Mr. 5 shouted and fired at Luffy.

I intercepted the shots. "YES IT WILL!"

Vivi and Nami seemed to scream in terror.

Mr. 3 was flailing around, but his fire lit hair still connected with the rope.

-KABOOM-

The cake was engulfed in flames and smoke. I could see a few wiggling figures inside the cake. I think the others were struggling to move their feet out.

Nami and Vivi jumped out of the flames unharmed. Nami was even…topless…sorry, getting off topic.

Mr. 5 was aiming his gun at them all. Usopp fired something into his mouth and he seemed to falter. He was shaking and sweating.

I made a man dash towards him and shouted, "HEY BOOGER 5!"

He struggled to look over towards me.

"LEAVE NAMI AND VIVI ALONE YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

My bazooka connected with his face. I fired one shot.

-KABOOM-

"BAZOOKA PUNCH!"

His body was sent back into the flames and the fire grew. His soul was in my hand, but his body seemed to explode, causing a gust of smoke to surround me.

_Time for a cool exit._

I walked out of the flames, straight at the girls (and Usopp), holding a soul in my and the most serious look on my face.

Usopp cheered, Vivi sighed in relief. Nami didn't respond really.

I swallowed my soul and said, "Sorry it took so long."

Nami walked over to Usopp and hit him. "COULDN'T YOU HAVE THOUGHT OF A BETTER WAY?"

He rubbed his head and shouted, "I SAVED YOU RIGHT?"

She rubbed her face and turned around. "Whatever." She said apologetically.

I looked on the ground and found Mr. 5 special gun. It looked pretty nice, so I put it in my back pocket.

I smiled and asked, "Usopp, Vivi, are you guys alright?"

"I'm just fine." Usopp said casually.

"Same here." Vivi added in as well.

"Oh and Nami…" I began to say. She turned around and faced me…while she wasn't wearing a shirt.

I covered my eyes (but I peeped through my fingers). "Ummm, you're not wearing a shirt."

She seemed to just realize this, Usopp did too. Nami started screaming and yelling about Usopp looking at her. I would give her a shirt…if it wasn't blasted off by that stupid Mr. 5.

Both the giants got up and seemed to stretch and shake off the flames.

"Good. How do you feel Dorry and Broggy?" I shouted at them.

"FINE!" They both shouted.

"You'll pay for what you did!" I heard Mr. 3 shout in anger. He was on his feet, about to whip another blob of wax at me before Zoro leaped out.

-BAM-

He wacked Mr. 3 away with the scabards of his swords. Mr. 3 was sent flying back into the woods.

"Zoro, are you ok as well?" I asked one more time.

He smirked at me and said, "Just great."

"Well then, seeing how everyone is fine, I'm just going to pass out and go to sleep for an unknown amount of time. Good night."

And with that, my eyes rolled into the back of my head, all my muscles went numb, I fell flat on my face and passed out.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of loud and happy giant laughter.

"GUAGUAGUAGUAGUAG!"

"CHABABABABABABABA!"

I struggled to face upwards and saw the two giants hugging each other and laughing. I looked up and saw Vivi standing near me.

"Did I…miss anything?" I said.

She looked down at me and smiled. "Dorry is ok. That's pretty much it."

She helped me to my feet. I hobbled over to a stump and sat down. Zoro walked over to me with a strange smile on his face.

"So…Screaver…first you were stunned by Vivi at Whiskey Peak, then that one lady on the boat and now that little girl? I guess women from the Grand Line are just to much for you to handle!" He started laughing.

I grabbed his shirt, pulled him towards my face and glared at him.

"I…will…kill…you…fucking…useless…shitty…swordsman!" I said, taking a breath after every word.

"You can't even talk!" He continued to joke.

I glared at him intensely, until he finally gave up. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry. That was a good fight you gave Screaver. I'm not lying about that."

I let him go and looked around. The giants were now punching each other and laughing.

_Weird. But hey…ok this joke is old._

We were all patched up. Nami and Vivi had done first aid on Dorry, Broggy, and myself, so we were wrapped in bandages (again).

"I FORGOT ALL ABOUT THE BOUNTY'S THAT WERE PUT ON OUR HEADS!" Dorry exclaimed.

Vivi was trying to say that this was _all her fault_ (again) but Nami quickly snapped her out of it. Luffy, Usopp, and Carue were busy having a rice cracker (so that's what they were, not cookies) party.

_Ok, we finished the Little Garden arc. Now what? Well, we move onto the Drum Island arc and get Chopper right? After Nami…Nami…_

"Ach." Nami groaned. She was itching her exposed stomach. A red spot appeared on it.

"What's with you?" Zoro asked her.

"Nothing." She said. "Just a bug bite."

_Oh shit! Wait…it has to happen. Or we won't get Chopper to join us. This has to happen._

"AAAAAHHH! NAMI DEAR! VIVI MY LOVE! And the rest of you." I heard a voice shout.

I looked over and saw…Oh boy…Sanji dancing around.

Instantly rage filled my body. He walked towards us, with out a care in the world. Unlike the rest of us, he was unscathed. Oh yeah, that's because we JUST HAD A HUGE FIGHT WITHOUT HIM THE DIPSHIT!

_Fuck it, I'm just going to clobber him._

He was trying to be all smooth, and offered Nami his coat. I appeared behind him and tapped him on the shoulder.

He turned and looked at me. "Why hello Screaver! Wait…what happened to you?" He FINALLY realized.

"Oh this?" I pointed to the bandages. "Well we all just fought four Baroque Works agents. Well, everyone else fought only one of them, seeing as how I took out two of them. Oh yeah, and you have about five seconds to explain where you were while we were almost killed."

He seemed nervous. "Five. Four. Three!"

I was grinding my teeth, cracking my knuckles. Sanji was just getting more nervous as he tried to explain what happened.

"Two. ONE!"

"Wait! I can explain!" He tried to say.

_Ugh. Fine. I'll listen._

* * *

After he explained the good news, I instantly changed my tone as we all cheered with joy.

Not only did he trick Mr. 0 into thinking we were all dead, but he also found an Eternal Pose to Arabasta. Oh what good luck!

I would be jumping with joy, if I could move a little more. My body still ached. But I was with them in spirit!

Nami told us that we needed to leave now so Luffy said his good byes to the giants.

"I hope you get to your homeland in time." Dorry said to Vivi.

As we headed back through the forest, Luffy shouted back at them, "SEE YA! TRY NOT TO DIE ANYMORE!"

Sanji was helping me. He was holding part of me up seeing as how I wasn't able to move very well.

"You really took out two Baroque Works agents?" He asked in amazment.

"Hey, they were trying to kill Nami AND Vivi." I said.

"Those bastards! I wish I could have had a piece of them!" He said holding up his fists.

"Save it for the next fight." I calmed him down.

_WAIT! I REMEMBER!_

"Hold it! Let me back!" I told Sanji. I came before the giants and they looked at me.

"You two, I remember. About one hundred years ago, you two both caught a huge sea king each. But a little girl asked you two which one was bigger. That is why you two fight."

They stared at me in shock.

"How did you know that?" Sanji asked me.

_I actually just remembered._

"I heard the story a while back. I just realized these were the two giants in the story." I lied.

"A hunting contest?" Dorry asked. He looked at Broggy.

They roared with laughter.

"SO THAT'S WHAT IT WAS! CHABABABABABABABAABABAA!" Broggy roared.

"I REMEMBER NOW! GUAGUAGUAGUAGUAGUA!" Dorry roared as well.

I smiled. "Come on Sanji, let's get back to the ship."

* * *

I was sitting in a chair out on the deck of the Going Merry. Sanji put me there so he could finish his hunting contest with Zoro. They were both saying how their dinosaur was bigger than the other.

I have a song for moments like these:

_My cock's bigger than your cock,_

_My cock's the double the size that yours is,_

Nami finally got them to get the meat that they needed, and they loaded it up onto the ship.

"Set sail!" Luffy ordered.

Everyone raised anchor, hoist the sails, and we set off. I couldn't because, hey, I could barely move!

As we reached the sea, the two giants were standing on both sides of the water with there weapons drawn.

"A great danger still lies ahead of you." Broggy said.

"It is an obstacle that has always been here, trying to prevent people from reaching the next island." Dorry said as well.

"Every one of you fought like true warriors in order to protect the pride of our duel." Dorry continued.

"And because you were willing to do that, no matter what enemy you may face…" Broggy said.

Dorry finished by saying, "We will never let them destroy your pride friends!"

Broggy then said, "You must have faith in what we say! Go straight! No matter what happens keep going straight! UNDERSTAND?"

Luffy told them, "Yeah! Got it!"

As we passed the giants, a huge island seemed to come out of the water.

"What is that?" Nami asked in terror.

_I'm gonna have a heart attack._

It was a gold fish, the size of a FUCKING ISLAND! I'm serious, a huge, round, orange and white, gold fish! It was almost the size of the island!

The two giants both let out powerful roars.

Nami was shouting at us to turn around, but I grabbed her hand and said, "We go straight, remember? Just like the giants said. Straight."

She was still terrified, but she looked at the giant monster, as we were about to sail right into it's mouth.

I closed my eyes as we passed under its teeth. Nothing but darkness.

_It will be ok. It will be ok. It will be ok._

-WHOOSH-

The ship was propelled forward by a huge amount of energy. I opened my eyes as a huge flash of light, red and blue, beamed in front of us.

_So this is what it looks like when you die. I can feel myself ascending into heaven._

Our ship was flung out through a giant hole that was pierced through the giant goldfish. The Merry Go sailed through the air.

Nami was on the verge of tears she was so happy. She looked down at me holding her hand. I let go and apologized. She grabbed my hand again.

"We are flying pretty high. I don't want to fall off or something." She said. I guess that was her excuse to hold my hand.

"You just had to ask." I told her.

The ship continued to fly through the air and we collided with the water.

"GOOD LUCK FRIENDS! AND THANK YO FOR REMINDING US ABOUT OUR FIGHT, LITTLE MAN!" I heard Dorry call to us.

"MY NAME IS SCREAVER BARTEL! NOT LITTLE MAN!"

I smiled. Vivi asked me about what they meant, but I told her it was a private matter.

"You can't get between a man and his fight." I told her.


	44. Chapter 44

Nami Gets Sick!

We Plan Out Our Next Destination

We were sailing over the ocean. Everyone was busy doing their own thing. I was in my crows nest, sorting through all my stuff. I had one extra shirt, so I put that one on. I also put my mementos of the Battle at Little Garden, Mr. 5's special gun and the raptor's teeth, in the box of stuff, along with my game boy and money. I slipped on my brown jacket and went down to the deck.

Luffy and Usopp were singing about giants and dancing like a bunch of happy idiots. Zoro was lifting this ridiculously large weight. Carue was running around. I couldn't see Sanji; must be in the kitchen. Nami was sitting down, back against the mast. Vivi was with her.

I looked at the floor. It got pretty dirty being docked next to a jungle. I ran my finger on the floor and the tip was covered in dirt.

_Well, I am the only one who can do it right? I might as well clean the deck._

I opened the closet where we keep the brooms and planned to just scrubb the top layer of the deck. I didn't need to suds it up, just some water and a brush to get rid of all the access dirt.

_I'll do a more thorough job when everyone else is asleep._

I couldn't believe we all went back to normal after all the crazy shit we just saw. Dinosaurs, giants, wax men, bomb men, epic fights, I even became a lolicon at one point! But after the battle is done, and we get back to the ship, we all just kick back and relax.

Another typical afternoon aboard the Going Merry.

"Are you sure you should be working now Screaver? You should be resting." Vivi said with concern.

I merely glanced at her, smiled, and said politely, "Someone has to keep this ship in order. Not even a little wound like this will keep me down."

My chest was still sore from being almost blown apart. I rolled up my sleeves, dipped the brush, and went to work. I was whistling the song Luffy and Usopp were singing.

_Ga- Ga- Giants!_

_Ga- Ga- Giants!_

_Elbath! Elbath! __Everyone it HUGE!_

_They're so huge!_

_Cause they're giants!_

_Ga- Ga- Giants! __Everybody's HUGE!_

They were so out of tune, but they seemed to be having fun. At least they almost fell off the damn ship! Luckily they climbed back up, scared shitless, but ok.

I laughed at their stupidity. Then ended up laughing as well.

Nami groaned. "Wow, after everything that's happened here I'm exhausted." She said.

"You look tired. Perhaps you should get some rest." I suggested.

She gave me a funny look. "After all you did, _you_ should get some rest. And you're still working!" She said in amazement.

I shrugged. She held her forehead and gave the Eternal Pose to Vivi.

"You're on your way. Soon you'll return to Arabasta." She said hopefully.

"I just hope we get there in time." I said. "Sanji said that Mr. 0 was about to put his biggest plan into motion."

Vivi nodded, looking worried.

"But don't get upset. Were gonna punch that stupid crocodile right in his damn face!" I ensured her.

She gave me a slight smile, but still looked rather worried. She gripped the Pose tightly.

"I will return home alive." She said in a serious tone.

We all looked at her in silence. I smiled. "Well of course you will!" I said cheerfully.

She looked at me smile with pleading eyes. "You have the future King of the Pirates and the future World's Best Swordsman on this ship. How could we fail?" I said.

Luffy smiled and shouted, "Yeah! I gona be the King of the Pirates!" He began cheering with Usopp some more. I went back to scrubbing the deck.

"You'll get home, but there's not reason to push yourself so hard." I heard Sanji say. He walked down the steps holding a tray of fancy cakes and stuff.

"Oh yeah, and that guy." I said unenthusiastically.

He glared at me for a moment, but they smiled widely at Vivi. "You got me also!" He repeated.

Vivi gave us a hopeful smile. Sanji offered her a cake, but Luffy and Usopp were about to take them before she got even close. Sanji shouted at them that their food was in the kitchen, and they dashed off into the kitchen.

"Never gets boring around here that's for sure. Can I have one?" I asked Sanji.

He looked at me, chewing his cigarette, "These are for Nami and Vivi. You want one, go inside the ship."

"Bastard." I cursed, but I just went back to scrubbing.

Nami was breathing heavily. I saw her struggle to stand up, holding her head like she was in serious pain.

She tried to get up the stairs, but she was almost fell over had I not had ran over and caught her before she hit the ground.

"Nami! NAMI! Are you ok?" I shouted. I felt her forehead. It was really hot! Vivi and Sanji were looking worried.

"VIVI! She has a bad fever!"

She called everyone else and told them the situation. I picked up Nami and walked through the door. Sanji was crying, Luffy and Usopp were freaking out, Carue was also freaking out.

"Sanji! Get ice from the kitchen! We need to cool her down!" I shouted at him.

"It's…fine…I'm ok." Nami said weakly.

I looked into her eyes and said, "I'm not letting you get done in by a stupid fever! Luffy! Usopp! Help me!"

* * *

Nami was put in a small bed on the floor. I got the ice from Usopp and Luffy crushed it. I started soaking the cloth in the cold water and wiped the sweat off her head. She was sweating all over, her face was bright red, and was breathing heavily.

"It's probably the climate. It's quite normal. You see, sailors who pass through the Grand Line aren't use to the strange weather, and can become quite ill." Vivi tried to tell us.

Sanji was biting a handkerchief and crying. Luffy and Usopp watched Nami.

"I'm afraid you're wrong on that one Vivi. Look here." I told her.

I lifted the sheets. Everyone was wondering what I was doing. I pulled Nami's shirt up a little to show her belly.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO NAMI, BASTARD!" Sanji shouted in a mix of anger and sadness.

I pointed to that bug bite she got a while back. It was swollen and had purple spots surrounding it. Everyone was stunned.

"It's a disease, an extinct disease to be exact. I remember something about it from a doctor I visited." I lied. "You see, I don't remember the exact name of it, but this disease was cured a while back. But it was still on prehistoric islands, seeing as how they never got the cure. It's given from a bug bite, and will take…a few days to take effect."

"What happens on the final day?" Usopp asked.

"Well…first it's fever. Then pain, and after…I think four days the person…dies."

Everyone freaked out about that. Sanji was shouting and screaming, Luffy and Usopp were yelling as well. Vivi was scared as well. So was I!

I just remembered that this disease kills the victim!

"NAAAAAMI!" Sanji shouted.

"How could you know this?" Vivi asked me.

"I first suspected something when she got that bug bite. I'm making an educated guess. Either way, we need to find a doctor!" I raised my voice so they would all hear me.

"How long until we reach Arabasta?" Luffy asked Vivi.

"At least a week, and that's to long!" Vivi said with worry.

"Maybe we're just overacting." Luffy suggested.

I punched him in the head. "I JUST TOLD YOU SHE COULD DIE!" I shouted. Everyone went back into panic mode.

"Wait…"

Nami slowly got up. We all stopped and looked at her. "Lie back down Nami." I told her, but she weakly pushed my hand away.

"Go to my desk…second drawer." She said.

Vivi opened it and showed us a newspaper. After a minute of reading it, she became terrified.

It had an article on how over 300,000 royal soldiers defected into the resistance in Arabasta. Nami decided to hold it for three days so it wouldn't worry Vivi.

"You still need to see a doctor." Usopp told her.

"I'm fine, really. You're just overreacting." She tried to lie, getting back up.

I stared at her intensely and pushed her back down. "Nami, I don't care what you may say. I can protect you from everything else this world has. But I can't stop a disease. We need to find you a doctor! And you need to be resting." I said.

She tried to fight me, but she gave up finally.

I turned to Vivi. "I'm sorry Vivi, if we do find a doctor, we might not arrive to Arabasta as quickly as you had hoped."

She thought for a moment. She gripped the paper and looked angry. Nami got back up when my back was turned. She was already walking outside.

"NAMI! WAIT!" I shouted.

* * *

We all went up and watched as Nami stared at the sky. Zoro was just watching the sky. I looked at the Eternal Pose and it was completely off.

"Damn it Zoro! We're going the wrong way!" I shouted at him.

"No we aren't! I've been following that cloud up there!" He stupidly said.

I hit him over the head. "CLOUDS MOVE AND CHANGE, STUPID!"

Nami shouted at us, "Catch the port side wind! NOW!"

We were all wondering what she meant. Port side…what?

Everyone was telling her to lie down. She kept telling us to listen, but she couldn't yell at us loud enough.

_Uh Screaver…listen to her._ Michael warned me.

_Look, her fever is getting to her. She needs to rest._

_NO! LISTEN! Tell everyone to listen to her. Trust me, and trust her!_ He implored.

Ok, what have I got to lose?

"YOU HEARD THE LADY! MOVE IT!" I shouted.

Everyone got to work, pulling ropes. The ship turned and I looked at the Pose. We were heading straight towards Arabasta again.

"Well, we're back on course." I updated everyone.

Vivi came out and asked us all to head straight towards Arabasta. After we all agreed, she then said, "Good, then let's get to a island with a doctor on it for Nami."

"We need her healthy in order to move at full speed." I reminded everyone.

Nami tried to move, but collapsed in Vivi's arms.

"WHOA! WHAT'S THAT?"

We looked to the side, and a huge cyclone formed a little ways away. It reached all the way up to the sky and was as big as an island!

"If we kept on going straight it would have been a direct hit!" Usopp shouted in terror.

"Remind me to never let Zoro navigate again!" I shouted.

"Oh shut up!" He complained.

"ALRIGHT! WHAT ARE WE WAITING HERE FOR? LET'S FIND NAMI A DOCTOR!" Luffy ordered.

"YEAH!" We all shouted in reply.

_Next stop, snowy skies and wooly animals._ Michael cheered unenthusiastically.

_Oh boy, I love snow._

* * *

Sure enough it started to snow. Everyone changed into winter clothes (except Luffy) and Nami was back in the ship resting. Vivi and Sanji were looking after her as I looked out into the ocean, looking for an island.

I had my jacket on and my hat I got from Lougetown. Evry little bit helps you know.

"Find any doctors?" Luffy shouted at me.

"No!" I responded.

What I did find was…pretty ridiculous though.

I looked out and saw a weird looking man. He had a green and turquoise suit on, complete with a jester's like head and wooly cape, a bow and arrow quiver slung over his shoulders, and squiggly lips.

What was really weird about him was…HE WAS STANDING ON WATER!

"OH MY GOD! IT'S JESUS! THE SECOND COMING!" I shouted, holding up my arms in praise.

"What?" Usopp shouted. They looked out and saw the man standing on water as well.

They rubbed there eyes in disbelief, until the man called out, "Hello? Sure is chilly today!"

He seemed nice.

"Um yeah, it is chilly today." Luffy and Usopp said in agreement.

"You're right, it is pretty cold!" I called back to him.

"Really?" He said. I felt a weird jolt through my body as he said that. Luffy, Usopp, the Jesus man, and I all jumped a little.

After that I shouted, "You seem like a nice guy! Would you like to come aboard?"

He looked at me and said, "No thank you! But thanks for the invitation!"

We stared at each other for another minute. "Are you sure? It's perfectly alright! You could come inside and warm up!"

He seemed to smile a bit. Usopp and Luffy were whispering, "What are you doing Screaver?"

_I don't know. He seems very polite. Besides, he can walk on water, and that's cool!_

All of a sudden, a huge, round ship erupted from the ocean, under the man. It pushed our ship back as it kept rising from the ocean.

"WHAT IS THAT THING? IS IT A WATERMELON?" Luffy shouted in awe.

The round thing opened up and revealed it to be a ship. A big mast with the head of a hippo rose up as well.

It was a huge pirate ship. The ship of Wapol I believe. Why Wapol?

Because it's a fucking hippo with a crown! I may be loosing my memory, but even I can make a simple connection with a _king hippo_.

The ship was crammed with soldiers in green winter outfits. All holding swords and guns. One was holding a pirate flag.

"BUAHHAHAHAHHAA!" A obese laugh bellowed.

Ok it didn't sound _obese_, but you get what I mean.

In an instant we were all surrounded by soldiers, even me in my crows nest. They say on the edge pointing guns at me and everyone else. Sanji ran out and was surrounded as well.

He lit his cigarette and asked, "So, what's going on?"

"Well, we're under attack. Oh, and it's still snowing." Luffy answered him.

"No shit Sherlock." I said.

"You consider yourselves pirates? That's amusing. I only count five of ya." The voice said again.

I looked and saw Wapol. He had purple hair, a metal cover over his mouth, and a skinned woolly hippo cape on. Everything else was pretty much the same; a rectangle of a man with beady eyes and a HUGE gut. Wooly boots, metal armor, and was munching on a big piece of meat skewered on a cooking knife.

Oh, I'm sorry, he was eating the knife to. He just crunched the thing and ate it whole!

_Weird… but hey not my thing._

"You see, me and my men here are trying to get to a place called Drum Kingdom. You wouldn't happen to have an Eternal Pose or Log Pose would ya?" The hippo man asked.

After we all just recovered from the shock of him eating a knife, Sanji told him, "Nope, sorry. Can't help you there."

"If you have neither pose then what can you do. I guess I will have to settle on your treasure. But first, I'm feeling a bit hungry." Wapol said.

He looked at the corner of the boat, and then did one of the most frakish things I've ever seen to date.

He ate the FUCKING BOAT!

His mouth stretched over the side of the ship and broke off the corner.

"HEY! OUR SHIP ISN'T YOUR LUNCH!" Luffy shouted, and began punching the guards. Sanji and Zoro went to work as well.

I smiled at the guards. I looked down at the floor and saw my bazooka.

"Freeze pirate!" One of them shouted.

I kicked it up and knocked him off the ship. I turned around and shot the other guards with my bazooka. More dark souls for me.

I leaped down, dodged there bullets, and beat them all into an oblivion. I ducked, uppercut them, side stepped, leg swiped a few, then gave a 12 punch combo.

In the end, I only gained a few souls. Sanji and Zoro got the rest of them.

_69 souls down, 30 to go._

Luffy ran after the hippo man, but the hippo man ATE LUFFY!

Vivi ran outside to see what was going on, just as Luffy's arms stretched out of Wapol's mouth and fired back.

"I SAID…LEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAVE!"

-BAM-

The hippo man spat out Luffy and was sent flying into the sky.

Whoa…didn't see that coming.

The soldiers freaked out about the loss of there captain, carried the wounded back to their ship, and left shouting threats at us.

We all smiled at Luffy and laughed. Vivi just looked at us in shock.

"Come on, let's keep going." I told them.


	45. Chapter 45

Arrival In Snow Country

Mission Start: Recruit the Deer Doctor

We spent the next few hours recovering from the attack. Sanji and Vivi went back inside to check on Nami. Me and Usopp were repairing the huge chunks of boat that were missing. We had to cover up the bite marks by nailing boards all over it. I didn't know what to do, I was just listen to Usopp's orders.

* * *

We sailed around until nightime. Vivi told us to drop anchor for the night, seeing as how we could barely move in the daytime without Nami. Everyone except me and Sanji went inside to keep Nami company.

_Why do I get stuck with Sanji? Ugh, oh well._

I let Sanji up in my crows nest. He was huddling under a blanket. I didn't need one, temperature never really bothered me. I was able to see my breath, which I always thought was prety cool.

"Hoe cccccan yyyyou be out there withthththth just one jjjjacket?" Sanji said shivering.

"Just can I guess." I told him, not really shivering.

He looked around my nest, and was about to look inside my box, until I said, "Touch that box and I take that blanket back."

He retracted his hand and looked out to the ocean.

I was looking at the winter sky.

"I never get tired of it." I said.

Sanji looked at me and asked, "Whwhat do you mean?"

"The sky." I said and pointed up. "No matter how many ties I look, the sky still looks so amazing." I looked at the sky. There weren't as many stars as there could have been, but the moon shone brightly. And it was almost full.

He looked up and slightly smiled. "I gggguess it's one of ttthose things you ttttake for granted. I've seen that sky so mmany times I guess I don't see it as something extra amazing."

"Well I do. The place I lived…well, let's just say I couldn't see the sky as well. Ever since I came out to the sea, I enjoy looking at the sky."

Sanji tried to light his cigarette. I had to cover my mouth. "You are a man of simple pleasures Screaver." He said.

"Yeah, I know."

I told him to take over the watch. I needed a nap. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! I SEE IT! NAMI IS SAVED!" I heard Luffy scream, waking from my slumber.

I cracked my neck and saw the island. It was covered in snow and had several barrel shaped mountains on it. It wasn't even that far from the ship.

Drum Island, home of Chopper and the crazy witch doctor.

_Wait…witch…um Michael._

_No Screaver. She may be called a witch, but she isn't really._ Michael told me, crushing my hopes.

Oh well, more souls in the sea I say!

* * *

We sailed into the ravine of the island. Nothing but white trees and snow. I did see some shadows near the trees, so I warned everyone to keep an eye out. We won't be getting another greeting like the one in Whiskey Peak again.

We found a nice quiet spot to disembark.

"Ok guy's, we here for a doctor search." Zoro told us. "I guess we have to find people first. Who wants in?"

"I'm in!" Luffy shouted, in his new winter coat.

"Me too!" Sanji shouted as well.

"So am I!" I yelled and leaped from my position and landed next to Vivi.

"Fine! Go have fun!" Usopp tried to get us to leave him out.

_Pussy._

"That's far enough pirates!" A voice shouted.

All at once the area was flooded with people armed with guns. They didn't look happy to see us.

I got my fist ready to return fire, just in case.

One guy stepped forward, a big green dude with golden armor on his arms. "I'll only say this once, your kind are not welcome here." He told us.

"We only came here to find a doctor." Luffy tried to explain.

"We have someone who's sick!" Vivi shouted as well.

"You have to better than that! We won't fall for that old trick!" One of the other guys shouted at us in anger.

"This is our island! We won't let any filthy pirates land here!" Another said.

"Raise anchor and leave now! Or we'll blow you and your ship out of the water!" Another guy shouted, waving his gun at us.

"What's with the hate? We need a doctor! We have berri! Please!" I shouted.

One of them fired a shot at my feet. "OH YOU ARE GONNA DIE YOU FUCKING SORRY ASSHOLE!"

I was ready to kick his ass until Vivi tried to get me to stop.

"No Screaver! Wait!"

-BANG-

The same guy fired his gun. Vivi fell to the ground, unresponsive. Everyone was completely shocked and shouted at Vivi.

"VIVI!" Luffy shouted in anger and prepared to whirl his fist back. Zoro was about to draw his swords, and Usopp screeched in fear.

_Vivi? Vivi…VIVI!_

Immediately my soul wavelength grew to astronomical proportions. My guns immediately went into Demon Hunter.

"_HOOOOOOOOW DAAAAAARE YOOOOOU!"_

I lifted both my guns at the bastard.

"NO SCREAVER!"

I looked down and saw Vivi grabbing my chest.

"Fighting won't solve anything! I'm ok! See? It only grazed my arm!"

My power died down. My arms went back into their original form. My sudden burst of power died seeing that she was alright.

Vivi then turned to face them and bowed to them. "It's alright, we won't land! But can you please call us a doctor? Our friend is dying of a serious illness! I'm begging you! Help us!"

She looked at me while still bowing. "You can't just let anger control you like that Screaver! Think about Nami. What would happen to her if you attack them?"

_What…the…FUCK?_

I just coughed. "Fucking pacifist." I said quietly. I turned around and faced the stupid assholes (I mean people) and got on one knee.

"Please…we need a doctor for our friend. She's really sick. Help us PLEASE!" I pleaded with them.

They were still freaked out by my display, but the green dude said, "I'll show you to our village. Follow me."

Vivi smiled and looked at me. Her arm was bleeding. "See? Just ask politely."

I didn't smile. My face was still angry. "I don't bow to cowards." I said and looked at the guy who shot at Vivi and pointed.

"You, apologize."

He seemed shocked. "What?" He said stunned.

"I said apologize to this woman here. She gave you no reason to shoot her and you shot her. So…"

I gave him a full Death Stare and said _calmly_, "_APOLOGIZE!_"

He freaked out and said, "Ok! Ok! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" He dropped his gun and left the other guys as they looked at me like I was a monster.

Technically I was.

Vivi looked at me with disapproval. I just shrugged. "What? I asked politely?"

She rolled her eyes.

* * *

We were moving through the snowy forest. I was carrying Nami using the back of a sword to keep her up on my back. The other people were keeping their distance from me, trying and seeing a chance to escape if I attacked them again.

"There is one thing I fell I must warn you about. The only doctor we have here is actually a witch." The green dude said.

"You've got to be kidding." Sanji said in disgust. "Everything about this island is messed up. What do you people call this weird place anyway?"

I was still pissed about the whole trying to kill us at the shore, and I constantly reminded the other guards that with my glaring.

"Actually this land still doesn't have a name." The green dude said.

"So we ended up on an island without a name, inhabited by a bunch of trigger happy morons with nothing but a witch as a doctor? Just fucking great." I said in annoyance.

The green dude looked back at me and said, "I ensure you what happened was an accident."

"Oh really? An accident? And what if you hit more than just her arm? Would you just call it an accident then?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"If we hit anything more than that I'm sure one of us would already be dead." He said, and returned to walking.

Vivi looked at me and said, "Enough Screaver. I told you I'm fine."

I was still angry. I don't care what happened. After a small group of people comes to an island and pleads with the inhabitants, they try and drive us off and almost kill us? What the fucking hell?

"AAAAHH! A BEAR! TRY AND PLAY DEAD!" Usopp shouted in fear, and fell to the ground.

A huge gray bear holding a pick axe was strolling by. The green dude told us that it was a Hiking Bear, and would not bother us. But he also told us to bow as good manners. And like my previous statement before, I don't bow to cowards. And that bear did _not_ look like a coward.

* * *

We arrived to a small village filled with villagers, sheep, and a wooly hippo. The green dude said its name was Bighorn.

He dismissed all the guards saying he had it all covered. They all were discussing it amongst themselves.

I heard them say, "They seem pretty harmless, except for that one guy. But they seem to have him under control. Still I don't fully trust him."

I glared at them some more and Vivi told me to stop. I quit and whispered to Nami, "You hear that Nami? We're at a village. We can find you a doctor!"

She wasn't responding, except for the heavy breathing and moaning in her sleep.

Everyone left except for the big green dude. A passing citizen revealed his name to be Dalton.

_Oh yeah, that Buffalo guy who used to work for Wapol. I got it._

* * *

We changed Nami out of her coat and put her in Dalton's bed. He was tending the fire place. His house looked pretty good, with swords, skins, and paintings all over the walls.

"I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Dalton, I am the captain of the Island Security Squad. Please forgive our less than friendly welcome." He said, looking at me as he put his weapon down. It looked like a giant metal fan.

I was still glaring at him, sitting on the bed next to Nami.

"That is an understatement." I said rudely.

"Screaver be polite." Vivi told me, sounding like my mom.

"I'm sorry; I just have a problem when jerks do bad things to my friend for stupid reasons." I said.

Dalton shrugged. "I assure you our reasons weren't stupid."

Vivi interrupted, "Please, could you tell us more about this doctor…or witch if that's what she is? Nami's fever has gone up to 107."

Dalton was surprised. "How long has she had it?" He asked.

"It stared a few days ago. At about 104 I can remember. It kept climbing as we got here. She is sweating all over and shivering. Heavy breathing and it looks like there is an infection around her belly where she got a bug bite. Purple blots around the bite." I told him.

"I see. It seems like she got an infection from some sort of parasite or something. Where did she get the bug bite?" He asked.

"It was a prehistoric island. Little Garden." Vivi told him.

He was shocked. "You actually were able to get from Little Garden. I've heard rumors about that place, they said it's impossible to leave."

"Well, we were the first then. Now what about the damn doctor? Or witch, I don't care! I won't let her die from something so dumb as an illness!" I shouted.

He looked out the window. "The witch? You see those mountains?" He asked and pointed out.

We couldn't see the mountains because they were blocked by Luffy's giant snowman.

_Wait…WHY THE FUCK IS LUFFY BUILDING A FUCKING SNOWMAN?_

* * *

After a few minutes of cursing and smashing, Dalton explained how the witch rarely left her castle that was on the top of the highest mountain. She's a good doctor, but she's eccentric. She come down whenever she feels like it, treats who ever she wants, and takes what ever she wants as payment. She comes down riding a sleigh driven by reindeer, or so the rumors say.

After he said that all we could do was wait till she comes down the mountain, I stood up and said, "No! I won't wait for some crazy old hag to get off her hump and get down here! If she won't come down, we will come UP!"

Everyone looked at me like I was crazy except Luffy. He was busy slapping Nami to wake up.

"YOU IDIOT!" We all shouted at him.

When Nami woke up Luffy told her, "Here's the thing. The only way to see the doctor is to climb the mountain. So…we're going to have to climb the mountain."

Everyone disagreed except me, I was telling them, "Alright! We gonna climb a mountain!"

Nami was struggling to say, "I need…to get over this thing. We need to hurry…for Vivi."

She gave us a smile and said, "Come on…Captain. Let's go."

She held out her hand and he gave her a high five.

"It's settled then. Time to go mountain climbing. I'll carry Nami until we get there, you'll need all your strength to climb that mountain." I told Luffy.

* * *

We hurried outside. I had Nami all dressed on my back, Luffy was in front. Sanji said he wanted to come along as well.

"Now listen Luffy. When carrying Nami you can't fall once or she'll die!" Usopp warned Luffy.

Luffy groaned. "Not even once?" He asked like it was a choice.

"Don't worry, if they fall, I'll be at the bottom to catch Nami." I assured them.

They kinda stared at me like I was crazy but Luffy was laughing. "Good idea Screaver!"

Vivi tied a cloth around my waist in order to keep Nami secure on my back.

"Are you sure you'll be ok? You haven't fully recovered from your wounds."

I smiled at her and said, "I promised to give my life to protect Nami. If I die, so be it."

I cracked my neck and said, "Shall we head off Luffy?"

Dalton warned us about something called a Lopin, some sort of carnivorous rabbit, but we told him we would be fine.

"Now hurry up guys before Nami dies!" Luffy shouted and dashed off.

"Don't say stuff like that idiot!" Sanji took off after him.

I nodded and said, "See ya Vivi. Usopp, take care of Vivi while I'm gone. If she get's hurt I'll kick your ass!"

And with that I ran off to join the others, holding Nami up on my back.


	46. Chapter 46

The Journey Into a Winter Hellhole

Escape to Witch Mountain...haha...

We ran through the snow, Luffy on my front left and Sanji on my front right. They were bickering about stupid stuff like how Luffy was still running through the snow with shorts and sandals.

All of a sudden, we were attacked by this small rabbit with sharp fangs. It was in fact like the cross between a rabbit and a bear. A Lopin I guessed, but it must have been a cub seeing as how it was two feet tall and...kinda cute once you got past the red, hateful eyes and the shark teeth.

Anyways, it dove at Luffy and Sanji, but they just simply dodged it like it wasn't there. They kept talking, and it kept diving at us. It even chopped a tree down with its teeth, but we just jumped over the fallen tree like it never happened.

We just kept dodging and they just kept talking. This continued for about several minutes and it was getting to the point that it was getting pretty funny.

The little guy was getting pretty angry and roared at us. Just as it made another strike, Sanji just kicked upwards and shouted, "YOU'RE BECOMING A PAIN IN MY AAAAASS!"

He punted the little furball into the trees.

"Ok…that was weird." I said to myself.

"Seriously, what was with that thing?" Luffy asked.

* * *

We kept treking towards the mountain. The wind was picking up, the snow was getting deeper, and it was falling more rapidly.

We were stopped by…a pack of giant, red eyed, bunnies.

I really wish I was making that up.

A gang...no, a whole MAFIA of huge, scary, red eyed, huge clawed, puffy white bunnies the size of polar bears were blocking our way. One of them had the little bunny that Sanji kicked clinging to its arm.

"What are these things?" Luffy asked.

"I think these are the relatives of that little bunny you kicked Sanji." I said.

They looked ready to pounce.

"Um guys…you know I can't fight with Nami on my back right?" I asked them.

The biggest bunny pounced on us, but we all dodged. Luffy jumped left, Sanji jump right, and I jumped backward.

"Shit! How can they move like that? Are they gorillas?" Sanji yelled.

"No! It's a polar bear!" Luffy said.

"That's what I was thinking!" I shouted.

Nami was trying to say something. "Ara…ba…" She muttered.

Sanji smiled. "She isn't even concerned about her own life." He said in amazement.

"Stand back Screaver, we can beat these polar bears." Luffy said determinedly.

"You have to focus on protecting Nami. You can't fight while holding her." Sanji said.

The rabbit took a step forward. We all anticipated its first move.

They all roared and came at us at once. It was a sea of white fur coming towards us. I dodged every one of their attacks. All they knew how to do was swipe their big arms. I could dodge them easily, but Nami kept slipping on my back. Sanji and Luffy were trying to fight back, but Sanji said he couldn't get his footing with all this snow. Luffy was punching them, but they were able to dodge his stretchy arms with just a twirl! He was getting hit by most of their attacks. Sanji was also taking a beating from their attacks.

Things weren't looking good.

Sanji directed us towards the mountain again as they all leaped for us again. This wouldn't end well if they caught us. Sanji and Luffy were bouncing off any faster bunnies who tried to make a dive for me. Luffy found a cliff that we could go up which should put some ground between us and the rabbits. We all ran for the cliff, a huge rabbit dived at us, and we all hopped off his stomach and landed on top of the cliff.

When we looked down, they all were down the cliff in a big huddle. Luffy laughed and stuck out his tongue at them.

-BOING-

In response, they all took one massive jump and leaped up onto the cliff as we ran for the mountain.

* * *

We ran as fast as we could to the mountain. Sanji told us to wait as he checked behind us.

Sure enough, the whole pack of Lopin were standing several meters away.

"They never give up!" Luffy complained.

Then the rabbits began to do something…really weird. They began jumping up and down over and over again, like they were hopping in place, and waving their arms like they wanted to become birds!

_Wait…are they…OH GOD DAMN IT!_

"LUFFY! SANJI! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" I shouted at them.

They didn't need to be told twice. We were about to leave them behind until…the ground began to shake.

"No way." Sanji said, looking terrified. His cigarette fell from his mouth.

"Wait, what's going on? And what are those bunnies doing?" Luffy asked, not even realizing the situation.

-RUMBLE-

"AVALANCHE! RUN!" I shouted.

That got them going. We ran in the opposite direction as the snow began to shake. The rabbits disappeared in a cloud of snow.

I didn't look behind, but I could feel the avalanche rushing towards us. I could feel that if I stopped, I would get plowed over by the massive force of the falling snow.

"Damn those overgrown bunnies! I'm gonna kill them!" Sanji shouted in anger.

"How do we get away from all this snow?" Luffy asked.

"All I know is that the first priority is Nami, the second priority is Nami, and the third priority is Nami! GOT THAT SCREAVER? Protect her even if it kills you!" Sanji shouted.

"I know that you moron! But what do we do about this avalanche? It's no good if we all die at once!" I yelled at him.

Sanji looked around and pointed to a cliff. "OVER THERE! HEAD OVER TO THAT CLIFF!"

We ran towards the cliff. The avalanche was only a few feet behind us. It was scaring the shit out of me!

We made one last leap and landed on the top of the cliff. We thought we were save, until the wave of snow grew over the cliff and knocked us all out.

-CRASH-

Next thing I knew we were all riding on a large tree that was sliding down the mountain. Nami was still on my back, but the avalanche was still going on.

"Umm, how long are we gonna keep going _away_ from the mountain?" I asked Sanji.

"This is all because of those damn bunnies! The next time I see them, I'm gonna turn them into a big pot of stew!" Sanji shouted angrily.

Suddenly, We were attacked by…brace yourself…snowboarding bunnies.

_Ok, my brain can take only so much._

The rabbits were snowboarding on broken logs and swiping at us as the avalanche was still going on!

"WILL YOU FUCKING RABBITS EVER GIVE UP?" I shouted at them.

They dove at us several times, got Luffy a few times reckoning the screams. He yelled in pain about three times. Sanji also shouted a few curses. We couldn't keep on like this!

They continued to attack us, and we continued to dodge, until Luffy shouted, "AHHHH! IT'S A ROCK! WE'RE GONNA CRASH!"

I turned and saw a giant rock in the path of our downward fall.

The wind was stinging my eyes, I'm sure the rabbits gave me a few cuts on my arm, and my jacket was doing a _terrible_ job keeping me warm.

"We're screwed. We're gonna diiiiiie." I said hopelessly.

Sanji looked at me and said, "How can you say that? You're the one in charge of keeping Nami safe! You can't give up!"

Sanji then did one the more courageous things I ever saw him do to date

He picked me up and tossed me far enough out of the way so that the rock wouldn't hit me. Luffy jumped up and stretched his arm to grab me, holding me up to the rock, but Sanji was so busy getting me off the ground that he crashed into the rock and sunk into the snow.

"SAAAAAAANJIIIIII!"

* * *

The avalanche roared passed us and…faded away. The snow calmed, the rubble was buried. And it was quite.

Luffy tossed me his coat and hat and said, "I'm going to look for Sanji! You stay here!" And he jumped into the snow.

"Wait! Take the jacket oyu moron!" I shouted.

To late, he was gone. I sat Nami down on top of the rock, checking my arm and it had two cuts across the bicep.

I was freezing cold. My body was numb so I couldn't really feel the pain.

"It's over Nami. Here, use this to keep you warm." I said quietly, and covered her body with Luffy's coat. I also put my hat over her head.

She was getting worse. The redness was all over her face, her breathing was getting heavier, and she was trembling.

_I could have prevented this. Why didn't the bug get me instead?_

_You couldn't help this Screaver. It was for the best._ Michael tried to cheer me up.

_Nothing is worth putting Nami through all this._

A hour or so passed by and Luffy came by with an unconscious Sanji. He was scraped and bruised, but probably ok.

"So Luffy, you carry Sanji. Looks like we have two new patients for the good doctor." I told him.

He nodded silently. He was breathing heavily. I looked behind him and saw that one of the rabbits got him pretty good in the back. He had three claw marks on his back.

"I'm fine. We have to…keep going…for Nami." He said, looking a little woozy.

His wounds were still being exposed in the snow and wind. He had also some cuts on his arms and legs. The blood was freezing onto his body.

"RAAAAWR!"

I was about to give him his jacket back when a Lopin leaped at us and swiped. I dodged, but Luffy must have been too cold to dodge and got clawed in the head. I cursed as I finally sat Nami dawn and fired a shot at the rabbit.

-KABOOM-

It didn't hit the beast, but the rabbit was scared off and burrowed into the snow.

Luffy's head was bleeding, his eyes were half open. I quickly tried giving him back his jacket, but he wouldn't rspond. He was shivering.

"Just…a…quick nap…first." He said quietly and put his head down in the snow.

I yelled at him, shook him, did all I could but he was out cold (literally.)

"DAMN IT ALL TO HEEEEEELL!" I screamed in agony.

* * *

_Well, I'll carry both of them._

I got Nami strapped up again, putting her arms around my neck so she wouldn't fall over. I had Sanji over my left shoulder, and put Luffy under my right arm.

I was carrying three people, in the blistering snow, with little clothing on, and multiple wounds on my body.

If I wasn't Superman I had to be pretty damn close!

I trudged towards the mountain in silence; nothing but the wind howling in my ear.

I saw the baby lopin in the snow trying to dig out a huge paw. I guess his dad must have gotten buried in the snow.

He was scratching the snow in agony with his claws bleeding. He let out small howls of sadness and was crying. He turned and saw me heading towards him. His sadness became anger. He growled at me and covered the giant paw with his body, ready to defend.

I smiled at the little guy and reached down. He covered his head in fear, afraid I was going to hurt him.

I merely pulled as hard as I could on the giant paw and yanked the giant rabbit out of the snow.

_If Luffy isn't awake to do it, then I'll do it instead._

When the little guy saw what I did, he squealed with delight. The big lopin was dazed and stunned, but alive no less.

I pat the little one on the head and kept going. I saw the little guy hug his dad as the father watched me walk away.

_Um…you do know those things tried to kill you right?_ Michael reminded me.

_What can I say, I'm an animal guy. But I hate cats._

_I know._ He told me.

* * *

I continued in silence until I heard a obese voice shout, "I FOUND YOU STRAWHAT!"

I heard galloping noises and saw…a wooly hippo with long legs.

Wow…just wow.

On the hippo was Wapol, the blue guy who I thought was nice, and a black guy with an afro.

An afro…on his hands.

_Weird…but hey, not my thing._

"Wait, you're not strawhat!" He said, just realizing this.

"No, but he's carrying the strawhat." The afro man said.

I looked at the blue guy. "Hey, you're that guy that was walking on water." I said.

"He is a part of that strawhat's crew. I remember him." The blue guy said.

Wapol thought for a minute. "It seems it's my lucky day! You there boy, I have a proposition for you! You give me the unconscious strawhat, and I may forgive you trying to get to my castle!" He say, giving a big smile.

I vein popped out of my forehead. "I'm sorry, but did you just call me…boy?"

He raised an eyebrow. The blue guy stepped in and said, "It would be in your best interests if you did! We could even give medical treatment for the other two! They look like they're in critical condition. We'll be glad to help them, right Wapol?" He asked eagerly.

"I'll think about it. But first, give me the strawhat!" He said.

I told him, "I'm sorry, but I can't betray my captain. Just as you can't betray your king. Now if you'll excuse me, I must press on."

As I walked toward the mountain, I heard Wapol shout, "I have a law that fits this situation! Any who do not obey the king shall be executed! Chess, Kuromarimo, punish them all immediately!"

"Must we really?" I think Chess said.

"You heard the king!" The other guy, Kuromarimo I guess, said.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" I shouted as I began to run towards the mountain.

"KUROMARIMO SURPRISE!"

I dodged as he punched downward with a spiked boxing glove. I ran faster and began seeing arrows impale the ground around me. One of them hit my leg, but my body was to numb to feel the pain so I pressed on.

As I kept running, not even dealing with my injuries, I thought I loss the three assholes. They weren't running after me, and I could see them anywhere.

It wasn't until I saw a huge pair of choppers almost eating me that I got the idea. Wapol seemed to appear out of no where. I jumped back and saw he had some sort of powder on him that made him look just like snow.

The other two appeared right next to me with their weapons drawn.

"It pains me to do this, but I'm afraid this is the end for all of you!" Chess said.

"You can't compete with warriors of the snow you stupid pirate!" Kuromarimo said with glee.

I couldn't dodge them in air, I was afraid this was the end.

-BAM- -BAM-

Two Lopin appeared and smacked the two guys out of the sky, in my defense! The two fell to the ground in shock at their new foes.

I recognized one of them as the alpha guy I pulled out of the snow. It even had the little baby bunny clinging to it's back.

"Did those Lopin just defend that guy?" Afro man said in disbelief.

"That's impossible! Lopin don't form bonds with humans! They're nothing but wild beasts!"

The baby and the alpha looked at me. I smiled at them and politely bowed.

"I thank you. So much. Sorry that we tried to hurt you." I said.

The rabbits flexed their muscles and I got the message that they wanted me to go on.

"GIVE EM HELL!" I shouted and ran towards the mountain.

* * *

The wind was getting stronger, a lot stronger. Enough that I could see the snow blowing off the mountain side. I could barely keep my eyes open. I had finally taken the arrow out of my leg safely and tried to fix the wound. Michael was trying to say something to me, but the wind was so loud I couldn't hear him.

I couldn't even hear myself think that's how loud it was!

The snow reached up to my knees. My wound was constantly being frozen and refrozen by the snow. And I _could_ feel the pain in my leg.

"Doctor. Got to get…a doctor." I kept telling myself.

After enough time, I reached the bottom of the mountain.

Nothing but flat, sheer rock straight upward. It reached past the clouds of course, and it was filled with ridges big enough for me to fit my fingers through.

The wind wasn't as strong here, so I heard Michael yell, _YOU'RE NOT!_

_Yes, I am._

_NO SCREAVER! Luffy may be able to do that but YOU CAN NOT!_

_Yes, I can. And I will._

_THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I CAN SAVE YOU FROM THIS! LUFFY ALMOST DIED FROM THIS! YOU CAN NOT CLIMB THIS MOUNTAIN! You are covered in wounds, unlike Luffy was, carrying three people, unlike Luffy did, and…IT'S FUCKING INSANE! Even if you somhow manage to pull this off, you know how much of your lifespan you'll cut off? YOU CAN'T GET THOSE YEARS BACK YOU KNOW!_

_I WILL carry three people to the top. I WILL get Nami to a doctor. And I WILL show you the true power of Screaver Damien Bartel!_

…_You've never used your middle name before._ He said in shock.

_I just realized something. In this world, I can do this. I know I can! And do you want to know why?_

_Ok, I'll bite…why?_ He asked.

I breathed in and shouted, "**I AM SCREAVER D. BARTEL, MOTHERFUCKER!**"


	47. Chapter 47

**Well, thanks to the holiday, I was able to type the next chapter. SO enjoy this _holiday_ special of The Tale of an OP Delinquent.**

**Warning: this chapter contains detailed and graphic imagery.**

Ascending The Mountain of Hell

Wait...When Did This Turn Into Dante's Inferno?

I ripped off my coat, it wasn't doing anything for me anyways, and tied it to Nami's back so she was firmly secured. And I wouldn't have to worry about her slipping off. I tied Luffy's rubber arms around my waist like a belt, so his face was place on my side. A little unsettling, but I didn't have time for gay jokes.

Sanji was a little more difficult. I didn't know what to do with him. I wasn't going to put his pants in my mouth, so I slung him over my shoulder.

_I hope you know what you're doing._ Michael said.

_Not a clue, but has that ever stopped me._

_You don't even know what it means to be a man of D. No one does!_ Micheal complained.

_Shut up, man of so little faith!_

_But if you fall, you and everyone else will die. No stopping that._ He warned me.

_Oh, you know just what to say at these times. You are willing to help me outside if you want._

_I really can't. I want to take at least one person off your shoulders, but I can't sustain a human body in this environment. I'm sorry. All I can do is give your body what energy you have left._ He said with concern.

I got my self mentaly prepared and grabbed on to thr first step. The entire wall of rock was covered in deep rings, perfect for me to grab into.

_Well, no time like the present, let's get going._

* * *

The first ten minutes: pure hell.

Every step (or climb) upward hurt as three people weighted me down. My left leg wasn't in good shape either. As I climbed higher the wind stung my skin and froze me beyond numbness.

All my nerves were dying. My eyes were probably bleeding, but I couldn't wipe away the blood. Had to keep going.

I remember missing one of the rungs on the side of the cliff and almost slipping off entirely. I almost dropped Sanji too, but I quickly grabbed his pants before he fell off and slung him back over my shoulder.

* * *

After the next several minutes, my nails began to break. I remember grabbing wrong and some of my nails ripped off.

I was able to scream in pain, but I had to watch it or Sanji would slide off my arm. My hand began to slip as the blood stained the mountain side.

I shook my head to keep me from passing out and continued climbing.

* * *

I got to the hour mark I think. I still couldn't even see the top still. One of my fingers had broken from a slip up and was broken backwards, but I continued with the other four.

Pain, pure pain. That was all I could feel. I felt pain, I smelt pain, I heard pain. I don't know if pain had a smell, but it had a sound. I could hear my body screaming in pain.

My leg gave out for a second, and I fell a few feet. I tried to grab back on and I thought I heard my arm muscles rip from the force. I adjusted Sanji back onto my arm and tried to make up for lost time.

The wind was really powerful and almost knocked me off the mountain. I drifted to the side a little, but tightened my grip and pressed on.

Only one thought was in my head; I have to save Nami and Sanji and Luffy. They are counting on me. If I fail, then the entire world will suffer.

Just me being here has screwed everything up. If I wasn't here, Luffy would have been alright, and he would be climbing this mountain instead of me. Does that sound selfish of me to say? Probably. But he was destined (or written) to climb this giant mountain, not me. But because of me, he got hurt, and now I must corrected my mistakes.

I had to atone, and this was how I would do it.

_Doctor…doctor…doctor…doctor…doctor…doctor…doctor…_

My face was in pain. My arms were pure red. Soreness, pain, aching, bleeding, sharp pain, dull pain, throbbing pain, every kind of pain. I could feel every kind of pain in multiple body parts. Everything hurt. Stomach, thighs, groin, head, back, feet, everything. Nothing but pain.

_I think I'm at the half way point. Good, another four hours to go._

* * *

I pulled up and lost my footing at one point. My hands and feet grinded against the rock as I tried to catch something. I fell for about a few more meters until I grinded to a halt. I could feel my feet and hands bleed. Skin was ripped off of my body. As I reached up to grab the rock, blood stained the side of the rock. I tried to get back my lost distance.

_So this is what Luffy would have felt huh? Well, not as bad as this I guess._

I was passing through the clouds at this point. I got a little hopeful as I peaked over the clouds but…

That hope quickly died as I looked up and saw that the top was still out of sight.

_Don't get your hopes up. And DON'T look down._

* * *

I resorted to using my bazookas. I formed them out of my feet and began digging them into the mountain to help. It was able to keep me sturdy, but took way to much energy so I scraped that plan and continued bare foot. And my feet didn't heal when they came out of bazooka form like usual.

Every step left a bloody print on the mountain. I had to watch it so I wouldn't slip on my own blood and loose extra time and energy.

At one point my leg joint completely froze up. For a minute I couldn't move my leg at all. I was afraid it had gotten frost bite, but after a few seconds I jerked it and heard a loud crack. It didn't sound good, but my leg was moving again, so I decided not to worry about it and continued climbing.

Blood was running down my arms and getting onto Sanji's jacket. I decided to close my eyes and keep climbing. So the wind wouldn't hurt my eyes and I wouldn't get my hopes up and relax if I thought I saw a clearing.

* * *

Time passed by of climbing. I didn't know how much. Could have been minutes, hours, I wouldn't be surprised if it was days.

I opened my eyes every once and a while to check, but it didn't change. Nothing but rock.

After God knows how long, my body faltered. I tired to move up more, but it wouldn't move.

_Come on! MOVE! COME ON!_

It was moving downward slowly, my grip was loosening.

_NO! I'M SO CLOSE! DON'T FAIL ON ME NOW!_

I bit my arm in frustration. The new pain woke my arm back up and it got moving again. I did the same to my other arm.

This new technique was useful as I continued. If my body would begin to fall asleep, I would give it a good chomp to get it working again.

* * *

After another _god knows how long_ I looked up and saw the sky completely covered by snow. A cloud of pure white. The wind was so intense my hand was blown off the cliff. I gripped extra hard with my other hand and climbed up a few more steps.

I was directly under the cloud of white and pushed through. I was being pushed around by something solid, probably more snow.

It was so cold. So cold…

My wounds was staining the snow red. I gripped a part of rock that didn't feel like a part of the mountain. It felt flat.

_THE TOP!_

I struggled to pull myself up and saw…flat ground.

It…was…beautiful.

Blood ran down my face that was probably supposed to be tears.

I pulled up, put Sanji down and pulled Luffy up all the way. I looked back and saw Nami still fast asleep.

_So glad…she's safe._

I untied Nami and sat her on a patch of snow and flipped over, seeing the sky. My skin was dark purple, cuts everywhere. My hands and feet were pure red with frozen blood and muscle showing. I could see many bite marks on my arms where I used my _technique_ to keep me going. I couldn't move.

Pure, concentrated pain pumped through my body.

I looked up and saw a huge, towering castle. It was pure white, with many towers, windows, blue roofs, and a big wooden gate.

"Wwwwwwweeee…mmmmmaaddddadddedede iiittttt." I shivered to say. I slowly picked Sanji up and tried to walk to the gate. My legs completely failed on me and I fell face first into the snow.

No amount of biting would get me to move, I knew that for sure.

I untied Luffy and sat down Sanji. I couldn't move after that. Couldn't move, talk, or even blink. Which sucked seeing as how the piece of snow I was on broke off.

Sanji and Luffy were ok, but I was slowly falling back down the mountain.

_I…I…I'm such a…Well, I'm glad...I was able to...save them..._

Something grabbed me before I fell. A big hairy hand grabbed my hand and held me as I dangled from the air.

I fell into unconsciousness.

* * *

I was sprawled out on the snow, being inspected by someone. A figure was above me, couldn't tell who. I could barely see anything. My hearing was still good, but I still missed a few words.

"He climbed…mountain with…hands? That's…three miles of sheer rock…go up!" I heard a womanly voice say. "His…is on the brink…frostbite. What…he thinking dressing…that for…climb? Throw…hot water…throw him into it.

Another voice, a lot more child like, said, "This guy…bleeding a whole lot! He…six broken ribs…spinal fissure. And this guy…multiple stab wounds…claw marks...concussion. Must have…attacked by Lopin. May I…on them Doctorine?"

The woman voice said, "The most critical…four patience is…girl. This one's dying. Chopper! Have…call…and…ready for me!"

The child voice said, "She…infection?"

"Yes…infection isn't from…anywhere on…island." The woman voice said.

I grabbed the shadow figure's arm. I pulled my head to see her, but I couldn't see anything from my damaged eyes.

"PLEASE! SSSAVE TTHEM! THEY'RE MY…CCCREW! MY FFRIENDS! PPLEASE! DDON'T WWWORRY ABOUT MME! SAVVE MMY FFRRIENDSS!" I struggled to shout.

The woman said, "Don't worry, I'll save the bleeding kid, the cut up kid, and the sick girl. You can rest easy. Alright?"

I gripped even tighter, until I couldn't take the pain anymore and passed out.


	48. Chapter 48

Another Reckless Trek Completed

Arriving Inside the Frozen Castle

Black. All I could see was black. I saw black and felt pain. But it was warm pain so it was a lot tolerable than cold pain.

I couldn't move a muscle. I felt a series of stings and stabs, but they were small. And after words, the pain would ease up a little.

This went on for several hours until I mustered enough strength to move one eye. When I tried to open it, it felt like it was taped shut. So I tried to open the other eye.

Something blocked the top half of my eye. I was in a room. On a bed. The room had blue bricks, tables filled with scientific equipment, and a big window. I saw that my whole body was wrapped in bandages, apart from a few areas where my skin showed. It wasn't purple anymore, thank God, and I wasn't in pain anymore. But I was sore, very very very VERY sore.

A few minutes of concentration and I moved my hand across my face. I had a bandage over my left eye and part of my right. I flipped the little bit out of my right eye and tried to get up.

No good. I tried again. No good. I tried a third time. Still no good.

_Let me help._ I heard Michael say.

Energy flowed into my body. I sat up right in the bed.

_How much energy do I have left in stock?_

_You have depleted over half of the reserves. A little of every soul you eat is put in stock, and the last two were very powerful._ He told me.

_Good God, what happened?_

_Um…you climbed up exactly 3.57 miles of sheer rock in temperatures of -39.4 degrees. _He informed me.

"Mmmmnmmh…Nami. NAMI!" I grunted. My throat hurt when I spoke. I look behind me and saw a tray with old, blood soaked bandages and a glass filled with bloody water.

I struggled to my feet, still sore I guess. I found some shoes under my bed and slipped them on my bandage covered feet.

Felt nice, and eased up the pain of walking.

I struggled to the mirror.

What I saw was like a mummy. Bandages covered my whole chest, legs, arms, fingers, and my head! My hair wasn't covered all the way, like I was wrapped on the side of the head.

I slowly stepped towards the door and pushed it open.

I looked at my fingers for a moment. One of them was more padded than the others. Probably the broken one.

_I'll try to make your recovery quicker, but you REALLY shouldn't be up and about! _Michael warmed me.

"Need to…find Nami." I said quietly.

_Stop damn it! You're lucky I haven't chewed you out for doing something so reckless. You know realize how much of your life-force that you burned up. TEN! TEN WHOLE YEARS!_

"NAMI IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY STUPID LIFE-FORCE! NOW SHUT UP!" I shouted in anger.

* * *

I walked slowly down the hall. I opened countless doors, but no people. I saw equipment, beakers, books, medical supplies, food storages, but no people.

-CRASH-

I heard a crash somewhere in the other part of the castle. I thought if Luffy and Sanji were there, so would Nami!

I slowly opened the door.

"You should be one of our crew! Please old lady!" I heard Luffy say.

"Luffy, you did tell me that's your name. Isn't that right?" I heard that woman's voice say.

"Yeah." Luffy said back.

"And did you just call me old lady?" The voice said, mildly annoyed.

-BAM-

He was sent flying into the ceiling.

"Can't you…tell? She's only…at the youthful age of…130." I said, gasping.

Everyone saw me in the doorway.

"SCREAVER! YOU'RE ALRIGHT!" Luffy cheered in delight.

The woman gave a high pitched cackle. "Well, he hasn't been up for that long and even _he_ get's it!"

Now that I got a good look at her, she had a witches face. Long nose, wrinkles, jutted chin. But her body was…that of a hot 20 year old! She had a belly ring, a short shirt, skinny jeans, all with pink petal designs.

It was really offsetting, but I had to say so or I would have gotten pummeled.

"She told us about what you did Screaver. That's…inhuman." Sanji said.

I nodded. "Nami. Is…Nami alright? Where is…"

"I'm over here, alive and well thanks to you." I heard Nami's voice say.

She was on the left of me, so I had to turn my whole head to see her face. She was in a bed, changed out of her winter clothes. Her face had cooled down, and she was smiling at me.

"Nami! Nami…" I said as I almost fell over.

"SCREAVER! DON'T DIE AGAIN!" Luffy shouted.

-GURGLE- -GURGLE-

My stomach made the loudest noise it ever did that day.

"Soooooo…hungry." I said, lying on the floor.

The woman let out another cackle. "I guess doing a climb of that magnitude would make a person hungry!" She cackled.

I struggled to my feet, but Sanji helped me to a chair.

"I think you are going to need you're bandages on a little longer than the rest of them." The woman said.

I was breathing heavily, but looking at Nami ok made me smile.

"I'm sorry Screaver. I…I fell asleep! And you had to carry me up as well! Damn it!" Luffy shouted in anger and punched the ground.

"As…as long as I was able to get…Nami to…a doctor…it was…totally worth it." I said.

I smiled at her, but I could see her face with my bandages on. Sanji was giving me a look, but he nodded at my answer.

"Now…does anyone have…some food?"

* * *

Me and Luffy were having another eating contest. My strength came back surprisingly quick after eating about four plates of food. I didn't even remember what it was. Just food.

The doctor unwrapped the bandages on my head, but she said the ones on my body should stay for a while longer. My eyes were a bit sore, so I had to squint them to make them stop hurting.

I was sitting in a chair at the table, sipping tea with the doctor.

-BAM-

The doctor had kicked Sanji into the wall at some point for calling her an old lady at one point.

"Umm…May I ask what your name is then?" I asked her politely.

She gave me a crooked smile. "Why my name is Doctor Kureha, but you may call me Doctorine."

I nodded and went back to my tea. Keeping my mouth shut, so I don't get kicked into the wall like the other guys.

"Being a pirate would be a waste of my precious time." She told Luffy.

_Yeah, what little time you has left, ya old bat._

"Did you say something boy?" She looked at me, like she read my thoughts.

"No no, not a word Doctorine." I said quickly.

"Good. Are you happy? You're happy, good." She said.

I looked to the doorway and almost dropped my cup.

I saw something that looked like a toddler hiding badly behind the doorway. But it was covered in brown fur. It had a face like an animal, two big antlers, and a big pink hat on.

_It's...Chopper. Oh yeah! I almost forgot! Silly me!_

He was looking terrified as I looked at him. I smiled and waved at him saying, "Hello!"

He jumped as I said that, because Luffy and Sanji looked at Chopper and dropped there jaws.

"WAAAAAAAH!"

They ran out the room, chasing after the little guy shouting, "COME BACK HERE FOOD!"

At one point, Doctorine got fed up with it, picked up two swords from the wall, and chased after the two numbskulls.

I just sat there, sipping my cup of tea as chaos ensued.

_Ah, such a wonderful, happy moment._

I looked at Nami who was giving me a strange look. "Are you really going to sit there while all this craziness just…happens?"

I shrugged. "Why not?"

She rolled her eyes. I chuckled slightly. "So Nami, how is your fever?" I asked her.

"I'm feeling a lot better, thank you." She said sympathetically.

"No problem." I said.

Her eyes widened at me. "_No problem?_ Screaver, you carried three people up a frozen cliff, and you just say _no problem_?" She said in disbelief.

My expression didn't change. "Yep. I'm just that kind of guy. I told you I would protect you, and that's what I did so…No problem."

She just shook her head in disbelief.

"What would you expect me to say? _I hope you appreciated it? Treat me better from now on? Take away my debt to you?_ NO! That's a douche bag move. As long as you all make it up here, everything is fine. What kind of guy would I be taking advantage of you like that?"

Nami raised her eyebrow. "Who said you were going to take advantage of me?"

"Well we are alone, in this room. Maybe…I mean I'm just throwing it out there." I said, starting to smile.

She smiled and shook her head at me. "I don't think so Screaver. I mean…we…what would Sanji say if he caught us?"

"So? You aren't the only woman in the world!" I said, moving towards her.

She was looking a little unsettled. "No Screaver. I'm not going to lie, I really admire you for doing that for me but…I just don't know. And besides, I'm still sick!" She was trying to make up excuses, I could tell.

I sighed and said, "I wasn't serious about doing it right here right now. Just…take it easy for now. You need your rest."

She was looking rather upset at me. "So you changed your mind?"

I freaked out. "NO! I knew that you were sick and…"

She laughed. "I was kidding Screaver. You can be really gullible sometimes."

I was kinda pissed off right now, but I shook my head. "Whatever. Let's wait until your better. Get some rest."

She looked at me with concern. "I didn't hurt your feelings did I?"

I shook my head. "No no, just get some rest. I'll just be sitting here."

She nodded and lied back down. I walked over to the table and saw some of the books. It was all written in Japanese. I couldn't tell what it was saying.

_You need a translator?_ Michael asked.

_Much appreciated._

Instantly the Japanese characters changed into English text. It was talking about some weird bug that when it bite someone they would die in five days. So I was close.

I sat back down and just…enjoyed the peace. I was in a quiet room in a huge castle with the girl I loved sleeping in the bed next to me.

Life couldn't get much better than this.

Chopper, Luffy, Sanji, and Doctorine ran through the room, screaming all kinds of things. They ran out the door and it became quiet again.

"Would they just be quiet?" Nami said annoyed.

I shut the door behind them. It was cold outside. I looked out the window and the entire inside of the castle was frozen and snowed over.

Whatever. I sat back down. The bandages were getting itchy so I thought I could take them off early.

Before I pulled them off, I heard a voice shout, "NO! Leave them on!"

I turned and saw Chopper near the first doorway I saw him first. He came over to me and tried to fix my bandages.

"You need to keep those bandages on! If you take them off early, your wounds could become infected and reopen! Keep them on until Doctorine says to take them off!"

He was really short, not even four feet without his hat on.

I smiled at him and said, "Ok. Doctors orders and what not."

He looked at me and shouted angrily, "SHUT UP!"

I got in his face and said angrily, "You got a problem midget? I just might catch you so my friend can cook you for DINNER!"

He freaked out and ran behind Nami's bed. "Don't scare the poor little guy!" She complained.

I shrugged and said, "Whatever. I'm sorry."

He looked at us with caution. He was poking Nami's hand when he asked us, "So…you guys are pirates?"

"Sure am." Nami told him.

"Really real pirates?" He asked again.

"Really real pirates!" Nami told him.

He was still very cautious. "So you guys have a flag with a skull on it?"

"We do. It's on our ship. So…you're really interested in pirates?" Nami asked him.

The instant she said that, Chopper ran backwards in fear shouting, "NO! NOT AT ALL! YOU IDIOT!"

-BONK-

He ran into a bookshelf and lots of books fell on his head.

"Funny little critter isn't he?" I said.

"SHUUUUUT UUUUP!" He shouted even louder. He was hyperventilating, and his eyes were bugging out of his skull.

"I get it. I get it. Calm down." Nami asked him curiously. "But I just have one question…do you want to come with us?"

His mouth dropped. I smiled. "We do need a doctor on our ship, one preferably not one who could kick the bucket at anytime." I said.

Nami gave me a look. She then turned back to Chopper. "You could come and sail with us, out in the ocean! You would really help me out a lot!"

She was giving him her pleading face (which was pretty damn cute.) He was still freaking out about her asking him to come with us.

"NOOOOO! THAT'S CRAZY! YOU REALIZE THAT I'M A REINDEER! I DON'T BELONG ON A SHIP WITH A BUNCH OF HUMANS!"

His expression changed from anger to sadness. "I mean, just look at me. I'm a reindeer but I walk on two legs and I talk and everything. Animals aren't supposed to do that."

"So?" I said. He jumped and looked at me.

"Our crew is just as weird as you! We have an idiot of a captain, a narcoleptic swordsman, a pervert cook, a coward of a sniper, and look at me! You would fit right in with us!"

Nami asked, "What about me?"

"Well you're so abnormally beautiful! Isn't it obvious?"

She shook her head at me, but Chopper was still looking down in sadness.

"But…I have a blue nose." He said in a depressed manner.

We shared a long moment of silence, until Luffy and Sanji ran in shouting, "THERE YOU ARE MEAT!"

He ran out in fear and they ran out the door again.

"GOD DAMN IT LUFFY! STOP TRYING TO EAT HIM!" I shouted after him and slammed the door.

"Those brats sure can run can't they?" Doctorine said as she walked in through the back door. She sat back down in her seat.

"I don't much appreciate what you two were trying to do there. Trying to tempt my reindeer away from me without my permission." She said, rather annoyed.

Nami sneered. "What? I need your permission to make a move on a man all of a sudden?"

"HEY! I'M RIGHT HERE!" I shouted in anger.

"I didn't mean it like that! You know what I meant!" She said at me.

The doctor gave another cackle. "No, I suppose you don't. You can try and take him away from here if you want. But I must warn you, it won't be as easy as you think."

"I guessed as much. Almost anyone we try and pick up has some sort of twisted past." I said in annoyance.

The doctor continued. "Chopper has a scar on his heart. A deep one my medicine can't cure. From the moment he was born everyone, including his parents, turned their backs on him. All because he was born with a blue nose."

And so she told us Choppers story. From birth he was an outcast, because he had a blue nose instead of a regulat brown one. Things just got even worse when he ate a devil fruit. The Human Human fruit if I'm correct. He became half man, half deer. The other deer forced him out of the herd entirely. He decided to go to the human village in his human form. But he still didn't look like a human so they called him a monster and shot at him.

It really made me mad how everyone treated him. He was caught between species, not a reindeer, but not human either. Both rejected him.

"Now that you've heard his story, do you think you can heal the scar on his heart?" Doctorine asked us.

"Nope. But Luffy can." I said. She gave a look at me.

"Trust me, every person in our crew was unwilling to join his crew at first. But Luffy won't take no for an answer. And as soon as he STOPS TRYING TO EAT HIM!" I shouted towards the open door, "He'll get Chopper on our ship. Not harmfully of course."

"He's able to try, but if he does anything to hurt my Chopper I'll kill him." The doctor said.

"He's not like that. I ensure you." I told her. "He's just incredibly stupid. Stupid, but nice."


	49. Chapter 49

**Another week over with. And another suprise chapter! It's kind of short, but don't worry. The next one will be longer to make up for it.**

The Retelling Of Chopper's Past

The Story of a Courageous Quack

A while later, Sanji walked in holding a plate of gourmet food.

"I've prepared this extra nutritious and fortifying meal just for you, so we can get a healthy smile back on that beautiful face of yours." Sanji told Nami.

"Thank you Sanji." Nami said gratefully.

Sanji blushed. "Of course! Although you're as heartbreakingly gorgeous as ever in spite of your painful ordeal."

I gave him a disgusted look. "As apposed to your so called ordeal when I ended up hauling your sorry ass up a cliff. Where's my fancy shmancy meal?'

He gave me a disgusted look and said, "Make it yourself shithead."

I was ready to pound him right there, when Doctorine walked in saying, "Hey you! I don't recall you asking for permission to use _my_ kitchen."

Sanji looked at her and said politely, "Madam I made a dish for you as well. It's suppose to make you look years…"

I grabbed the plate as she kicked Sanji into the wall.

-BAM-

"I'm not a madam. I'm a swinging single still in the prime of youth! Don't you forget it."

I took Sanji's place and said in a snooty way, "_Youl dish is ready milady._"

Nami laughed at my impression and I placed the dish down.

"So he doesn't know about…you two?" Doctorine asked.

We were stuttering. "Well…uh…you see…we aren't technically together." Nami said.

"Yet." I said hopefully.

She took of her sunglasses and raised an eyebrow.

-BAM-

The door slammed open and Chopper ran inside screaming, being chased by Luffy.

"Luffy! Stop trying to eat him!" I shouted in annoyance.

"I'm not! This guy is going to join our crew and be our friend!" Luffy responded.

"Really? Great!" Nami said in delight.

"I NEVER SAID I WAS GOING TO DO THAT!" Chopper shouted in anger.

They ran out the room. Doctorine stared at them in disapproval. "Friend huh? If he only knew…"

"If you tried to tell him he wouldn't listen." I told her.

"But you can tell us." Sanji said.

Doctorine sat back down and told us the story about Chopper's only real _human_ friend, Doctor Hiluluk, the crazy quack of a doctor. Hiluluk gave Chopper his name and called him a son. I knew this story but…I wanted to listen to his story this time. Just because.

Hiluluk was the craziest quack of a doctor left after Wapol began banishing all the other doctors from the country. He was appearantly just tossing them into the ocean, for no reason! Wapol kept only the best as his personal doctors, renaming them as the 20 M.D.s.

Sorry, getting off topic.

Anyway, Hiluluk found Chopper lying bloody in the snow and brought him back to his secret hideout in the forest. He began treating Chopper's wounds, and even gave CHopper his name for his big antlers that looked like they could chop trees in half.

She told us that Hiluluk had a terrible disease, one that couldn't be cured. But even so, that didn't stop him from trying to help the country with his ideas. However he wasn't as popular as he would have liked, seeing as how his medicine would leave the patient in worse condition than they began.

She went on how Hiluluk and Chopper spent a year together, fighting and laughing and "helping" the country as much as they could. Chopper loved the man as a father, seeing as how _his_ father was a complete dick to him.

_If I ever meet that damn reindeer, I'll mount him over my mantle._

_You have a mantle?_ Michael asked.

_Shut up._

It was after their first fight together that Hiluluk gave Chopper that pink top hat he always wears. How nice! My dad never bought me a hat before…well he _did_ pay for half of my car so I guess maybe that's…sorry, getting off topic.

Doctorine also told us how Hiluluk was once a master thief in the West Blue. He had a bad heart condition and was going to die. But somehow his condition was cured. He said it was because he passed by a mountain of Cherry Blossoms that cured his illness.

"He was always a crazy quack." She said with another cackle.

She told us about the Jolly Roger he hoisted up; skull and crossbones with cherry blossom petals covering it. She told us that they hung the flag up on the top roof of this castle, after Wapol abandoned the country.

"The good times passed by in the twinkling of an eye." She said. She took another swig of drink and then said, "And it finally came time to say fair well."

She told us that his condition worsened and he drove Chopper away. It was so that Chopper wouldn't have to feel the pain of seeing him die. He came to Doctorine for any amount of help she could give but it was all in vain. He was going to die soon. So he did all he could to make his invention work, to make cherry blossoms bloom in the cold winter.

It was an admirable dream, but I still didn't see why you needed to do that. But hey, I'm not a doctor.

We were all watching her in silence as she tended the fire place.

Chopper found out about Hiluluk's declining heath and took action. He stole one of the doctor's books and tried to make some medicine. He thought there was a mushroom out there that could cure any disease. He risked life and limb to find that mushroom.

Had to fight his real father if I remember correctly. Stupid Alpha-Buck-Bitch.

When Chopper gave the mushroom to Hiluluk, broken and bruised, Hiluluk saw that it was a poisonous mushroom. But never the less he ate the mushroom soup anyway, seeing how Chopper risked his life to get it.

It wasn't long after that Hiluluk's invention finally worked! He invented a special dirt that could let cherry blossoms bloom in cold climate!

_Note that this narration is a combination of her storytelling and my knowledge._

After consuming the poison mushroom, he gave the little dirt to the Doctorine for safe keeping. He also got word on how all of Wapol's doctors got sick. He rushed over to Wapol's castle to help them in anyway he could but…it turned out that it was just a lie that Wapol used to lure out Hiluluk and exile him.

Doctorine told Chopper that the mushroom he gave Hiluluk was poison. Chopper then rushed over to Wapol's castle to apologize to Hiluluk for poisoning him.

He never got the chance.

The scene of his last words flashed in my mind.

"Hey, when do you think a person dies? When a bullet from a pistol pierces his heart? No. When he's attacked by an incurable disease? No. When he eats a soup of deadly poisonous mushrooms? No. A man…dies when people forget him."

Powerful stuff.

As soon as Chopper got to the castle, Hiluluk drank an explosive compound and killed himself, so that Chopper's medicine wouldn't have killed him.

Chopper was enraged at Wapol as he laughed at Hiluluk's death. Chopper charged at them, but was driven away before he got hurt by Dalton.

Chopper came to Doctorine and pleaded to her to teach him to become a doctor. She agreed.

And that was the end of Chopper's story.

We all stared at her in silence. I was angry.

At Wapol mostly for being such a dick. I respected the good doctor for all that he did. He helped Chopper, loved him, gave him more than his no good deer father ever did.

I hate those family's, I should know, I have one.

If you aren't the same as the rest of the family, you're an outcast. My mom came form a high maintenance family. When she married my country, hard working father they rejected her. They would visit her but HATED me because I wasn't mannered. My sister, even my dad had more manners and kissed their rich, smug asses when they would visit. Me on the other hand would bite them in the ass, hard!

You should love family through thick and thin. If you love someone, truly love someone, be with them. And if you're wondering about the whole Heraldo thing, he didn't love my sister. He wanted sex. That's it.

Which is why I HATE Chopper's deer family, HATE Wapol for laughing at Hiluluk's last stand for his son, and…well that's it.

"So for the next six years, Chopper has been studying medicine." Nami said.

"Yes, I taught him everything I know." Doctorine said.

I was gripping my leg and gritting my teeth. Sanji looked at me.

"Damn Wapol. Damn him to hell. How can he laugh at man so courageous? I'm sure if I put my fist through that fat belly of his I wouldn't even find a soul!" I said angrily.

"Easy Screaver." Sanji said. "That man is still wandering the sea. Next time we see him out there, we'll get him."

"DOCTORINE! DOCTORINE!" Chopper shouted urgently.

He ran inside, in his deer form. "Doctorine, there's trouble! Wapol is back!"

I smiled. "That makes it easy."

I stood up from the table, ripped off the bandages, and put on one of the coats I saw folded on a table.

"You can't take off your bandages yet!" Doctorine shouted at me.

I ignored her protests and rushed out the door.


	50. Chapter 50

**Here is another _super special awesome suprise _chapter. And wouldn'tcha know it? It's my 50th chapter!**

**I just want to take the time to once again thank all the people who read and reviewed this story so far. I hope to reach 200 reviews, and then 300 reviews and beyond! It's all thanks to you guys, the readers, for reading and sending your kind and constructive reviews. Thank you all, and enjoy the newest chapter.**

The Battle For Drum Island Begins

Hungry Hungry Hip...PO!

I got to the gate, but not quick enough seeing as how both Doctorine and Chopper were there before me.

I formed my bazooka and shot at him.

-KABOOM-

The shot hit him in the mouth and he was covered in a shroud of smoke.

Doctorine and Chopper looked back at me and saw me holding my golden bazooka up.

"So, you ate a devil fruit as well, is that right?" Doctorine said, cackling again.

"No. I didn't." I corrected her, and continued to stare at Wapol.

He was stunned by my attack. "What was that? It actually hurt my mouth!" He said in disbelief.

"You may be able to eat steel and wood, but you CAN'T eat pure energy you fat bastard!" I yelled at him.

"It's that guy from before. The one who was carrying the strawhat." The afro man said.

"WAIT! THIS GUY'S MINE!" Luffy shouted in anger and he ran past us.

He charged at Wapol and punched him so hard, he flew several stories in the air! Head over heels flipping across the mountain. He would have fallen off it completely if his two lackeys didn't catch him before he fell off.

_Ugh, it's never that easy._

"I'm really sick of you guys, you know that?" Luffy said in a serious tone, "You guys were getting in our way _before_ we got to this island."

Sanji walked outside in his winter coat and frowned when he saw Wapol. "Not these guys again." He groaned.

I stepped forward and said, "Last time we met I couldn't fight back because I had to protect my friends. But now…" I formed both my bazookas and grinned evilly, "I'm gonna pop that fat belly of yours."

"No Screaver!" Luffy said childishly, "I'm gonna beat him! He ate our ship!" He complained.

I sighed and said, "Fine Luffy, he's all yours."

Kuromarimo shouted angrily, "YOU FOOL! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ATTACKED? THIS IS NO LOWLY COMMONER! THIS IS WAPOL!"

"THAT'S EVEN WORSE THAN A COMMONER!" I shouted at him.

"HE IS THE KING AND ABSOLUTE RULER OF DRUM KINGDOM!" Chess shouted in anger.

"I take it you ran a foul of Wapol before." Doctorine said.

"We met him on the ocean. He ate our ship and attack me when I was carrying everyone to the mountain. He has it coming." I said to her.

"YEAH! AND I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO HIM!" Luffy roared in anger.

"K, but before you do that aren't you cold in that get up?" Sanji asked him.

I just realized Luffy was still wearing his read no sleeve shirt and blue shorts.

Luffy looked at him with a confused look. "You know," Sanji tried to remind him, "_cold_?"

"HEY! Did he say he was a king? I thought he was a pirate!" Luffy shouted idiotically.

We all face palmed in annoyance.

The other guys were shouting something, but we were busy listening to Luffy shout, "Wow! It's freezing!"

He ran back inside to get a coat as Wapol woke up from his mini-concussion.

"Um…tell me." Chopper asked us. "Your friend can stretch himself. How?"

"Oh that?" Sanji responded to him, "It's because he's a rubber-man."

"What's that?" Chopper asked us.

Sanji smiled. "It's a monster!"

Chopper looked at us with wide eyes.

"Well well, it looks like were up against that old hag, a reindeer, and two of the strawhats." Wapol observed. "Not that much of a challenge! I'll start with the old hag because she has offended me the most by moving into my castle. And flying that _ridiculous_ flag!"

I grit my teeth. "You stupid fat bastard." I said.

He looked at me angrily, "How dare you keep insulting me?"

"That flag is the symbol of the man who gave his life so that this country could be saved. This castle has become his grave. And I won't let you defile this grave! YOU HEAR ME YOU FAT BASTARD? I won't even let you leave! YOU WILL DIE! HERE AND NOW!"

"AHAHAHAHAHA! I'd almost forgotten that fool! AAAAAHAHAHAHA!"

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING FAT FACE! HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT THE ONLY MAN WHO TRIED TO SAVE THIS COUNTRY, WHEN YOU DROVE IT INTO THE GROUND!" I yelled angrily.

I know that if Luffy does sent him flying from here, Wapol will have a better life. He apparently makes a toy factory, discovers a new element, marries a hot chick, and has a happy life.

HE WON'T GET THAT CHANCE!

"I will never let you touch that flag, or get inside this castle." Chopper said angrily as he grew to his human size. He was about a foot taller than me, heavy built.

Wapol and his men recognized Chopper as the creature who attacked them before.

"That flag there, is a symbol of his faith!" Chopper continued. "I WON'T LET YOU TAKE IT DOWN, NOT NOW NOT EVER!"

"Hey you! Afro man!" I shouted at him. He looked at me with a confused face.

"By the looks of those gloves, I take it you're a boxer. Am I correct?"

He smiled. "Yes, as a matter of fact I am! My boxing skills are unmatched by anyone in the entire ocean!" He said evilly.

I smiled widely. "Then I shall be your opponent!" I said to him, forming my bazooka gloves. When I did so, he realized that I was a boxer two and stepped forward.

I flash stepped in front of him and hit him upside the head.

-BAM-

He flew a few feet before catching his footing and threw a punch at me. I blocked.

"BRING IT AFRO MAN!"

He was a pretty good boxer I'll give him that. He ducked and weaved. He fought with spiked gloves, but they didn't hurt thanks to my metal gloves.

We moved farther away from the group as Chess tried to fire arrows at the others. Sanji and Chopper could take care of that.

Wait…no they can't! They're fucking arrows!

He shot a volley of arrows, but I flash stepped in the way and caught them all, four in one hand, five in the other.

"ROCK-IT LAUNCHER!"

I fired all the arrows back at him. He was surprised, but Wapol got in the way and ate them all.

Chopper charged at Chess and swiped at him, but Wapol pushed Chess again and…ATE CHOPPER!

I fired several rounds on the fat bastard, but his blubber must have made him resistant because he kept chomping on Chopper.

"Air Force Rubber Shoot!"

I saw Luffy fly past me and collided with Wapol, spitting out Chopper and flung him into his…wooly hippo.

_Huh. Didn't even see that thing until now._

After Luffy got back to us, Chopper said thankfully, "Thanks you guys! You guys are so amazing!"

Sanji wasn't listening because he was trying to get Luffy to take off Nami's jacket.

Wapol got back up and shouted something at us. Then he said, "Chess! Tell me what I ate today, in the exact order that I ate it."

Chess got out a small book and listed, "Well, sir, you started by eating two cannons on the ship. One sautéed in butter, the other raw. Then it was a cannonball and gunpowder salad, followed by the main course of a toaster cottage."

_Wooooooooooow…I thought I ate a lot. Just…woooooooooooooooow!_

"And you thought we ate a lot." Luffy said to Sanji.

"You do, but this guy's a bigger pig than both of you combined." Sanji said to both of us.

Wapol's body began to change.

First, a small smoke stack popped out of his head. He grew even fatter as his stomach greew windows, a doorway, and became a rectangle. His arms grew into two large cannons. Bigger than mine but were silver.

"MUNCH MUNCH JUNK! THE WAPOL HOUSE!"

_The Munch Munch Fruit is a really stupid, but dangerous, devil fruit._

Wapol smiled widely, and for someone as wide as him that's saying a lot, he said, "Now if you'll excuse me…I HAVE TO EAT!"

He bent over and…ate his two followers.

"WHAT THE FUCK? HE'S EATING HIS OWN MEN?" I shouted in disgust.

He gobbled them up, and after he was done, smoke billowed out of his mini chimney and he began to dance back and forth. Gears were whirling around inside that body, I could hear. When he was done, he shouted, "COME FORTH YOU MIRACULOUS UNION!"

The door opened slowly. I aimed my gun ready to attack, but when the doorway expanded, and they came out, I almost fell over laughing.

It was just…SO FUCKING STUPID!

Oh they fused together alright. It had four arms, one set long and slim, the other big and fluffy. It had two faces, one Kuromarimo's, the other Chess'. The costume was…so retarded! It look like the top face was wearing a huge pillow.

"Behold, Chessmarimo. HAH!"

The others were freaking out, I fell over laughing.

"BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHH! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS THAT? BWAAHAHAHAHAH! IT'S SO FUCKING STUPID! AAAAAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAH!"

"It's ridiculous." Sanji said.

"Don't let your guard down." Doctorine said to us. "They look silly, but don't be fooled. They're tough. So tough that the citizens couldn't stand against them. That's how these thugs exiled all the doctors."

She was serious. I wiped my tears and got to my feet. "Who calls the mixed up freak?" I asked.

Wapol ignored my statement and fired his cannon at the flag.

-KABOOM-

Chopper looked in terror as it was consumed by smoke. It was ok, good thing he was a lousy shot.

"Hey reindeer, that flag." Luffy asked.

"Belonged to his adoptive father." I told him.

Chopper was so angry, he charged at Wapol in his mini form.

He ducked under Chessmarimo and clung to Wapol's body. He was ready to punch him but…something stopped him.

He froze…something his father said to him I think. And I mean Hiluluk, not his damn deer of a dad.

"I won't hurt you if…if you just leave this country forever!" He said.

_WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?_

"CHOPPER WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Doctorine screamed at Chopper. "EVEN IF HE DOES AGREE YOU CAN'T TRUST A WORD THAT DESPOT SAYS!"

_Despot? Maybe my ears were ringing or something._

"But…Doctor said." He said weakly.

Wapol took advantage of this moment and blasted Chopper in the face.

-KABOOM-

He flew backwards, right in front of me. Unconcious and smoldering.

Anger didn't even begin to describe what I was feeling.

"**YOU FUCKING COWARD!**" I roared. By voice boomed so loud it shook the ground.

My soul wavelength pulsed around my body. The snow around me melted to reveal solid rock.

_Got an idea._

I made my hands appear and I pierced the ground to the far left of me. With my other hand I piercer the far right. I pulled upward until I was holding a very large boulder, ripped straight from the ground.

"**YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE MY WRATH, STUPID FAT ASS!**"

I pulled the boulder back and threw it at them with ridiculous speed.

In an instant, I flash stepped right behind the rock, bazooka drawn.

"**SPECIAL ATTACK! BAZOOKA PULSE!**"

I punched the rock with my bazooka punch and it broke into pieces. Those pieces were shot towards Wapol and his men. Most of the rock hit them, but I was still running forward.

"**DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!**"

My body stopped moving. My power stopped flowing. I fell to the ground, motionless, with a huge pain in my chest.

_You did it now! You haven't fully healed from your wounds! The wounds are beginning to reopen!_ Michael said to me urgently.

_What? Can't you do something?_

_I am! I'm keeping your wounds together at the moment, but they're tearing apart! Your body has shut down for a moment, I'll try and get you back up there, but it will take time!_ He told me.

Chessmarimo looked down at me, almost unconscious, in the snow.

They both smiled, "Weak fool. Couldn't even finish his attack!" They both sneered, and stepped on me.

I felt my chest, some blood had leaked out of my mouth.

_It's mostly internal damage._ Michael told me.

"SCREAVER! DON'T GIVE UP!" Luffy shouted at me.

I looked up and saw him on the roof of the castle, holding the flag.

_When did he get up there?_

Luffy shouted, "HEY BIGMOUTH! YOU GUY'S WEREN'T REAL PIRATES! YOU WERE JUST FAKE ONES WEREN'T YOU? THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT FLYING A PIRATE FLAG MEANS! CAUSE YOU WERE JUST A BUNCH OF FAKES WHO DIDN'T RISK THEIR LIVES!"

"WHAT A PIRATE FLAG MEANS? STRAWHAT?" Wapol responded. "BWAHAAHAHAHAAH! DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!"

"I think…he just did." I said smugly.

Chessmarimo kicked me to be quiet.

_Ow, ok…I deserved that one._

"FLAGS HAVE NO MEANING!" Wapol shouted.

"IF YOU THINK THAT, THEN YOU'RE DUMBER THAN YOU LOOK!" Luffy insulted.

Wapol got pissed after that. "WHAT?" He shouted.

"LISTEN, PIRATE FLAGS STAND FOR SOMETHING, BIGMOUTH! THEY'RE NOT RAISED AS SOMEKIND OF JOKE!" Luffy continued.

"MORON!" Wapol insulted. "THE ONLY JOKE IS THAT I'VE LET YOU LIVE FOR AS LONG AS I HAVE! SINCE YOU DARED PUT THAT FLAG BACK, AFTER I KNOCKED IT DOWN, IT'S TIME I DELIVER THE FINAL PUNCH LINE!"

-KABOOM-

Wapol fired a cannonball at Luffy.

Chopper got up and shouted, "HEY YOU! LOOK OUT!"

-KABOOM-

The cannonball was hit by something else and exploded way before it got close to Luffy.

Wapol looked back and saw that the shooter…was me. Using my scope vision, I locked onto the cannonball and destroyed it harmlessly.

"You dare defy me even on the brink of death?" He said in an angry and surprised tone.

I got to my feet and wiped the blood from my face. "Who said I was on the brink of death?"

I could see Luffy giving me a thumbs up, so I gave him one as well.

I flash stepped back at the gate of the castle.

Doctorine looked at me and said, "I knew you weren't fully healed." She said.

"No, this is from something else. It not a medical matter, it's a _soul_ matter." I told her.

She looked rather confused, but said, "Well, I guess I can take your word for it. But I want you to take it easy for now; Doctors orders."

I nodded. "I'll give support from here." I told her.

Chopper looked at Luffy in awe. Wapol fired again and again, but I blocked all his blasts.

"YOU ARE MAKING ME VERY ANGRY!" He yelled at me.

"SUCK MY DICK YOU JACKASS!" I shouted at him.

"Oh, how vulgar. Especially in the presence of a young lady." Sanji said, eying Doctorine, preparing for another kick.

She cackled again. "Looks like you finally got the idea."

"GRRRRR! NOW I'M REALLY ANGRY! I'LL BLOW YOU ALL UP!" He shouted, and aimed his cannon again.

"I don't think so tubby!" Sanji shouted, and he ran towards Wapol.

Before he could make it, his back cracked and he groaned in pain.

"Your back gave out." Doctorine observed. "Your condition will continue to worsen if you continue. SO STOP! DOCTOR'S ORDERS!"

Doctorine dashed towards him and kicked him hard in the back, causing him to go unconscious.

_Ouch._

Wapol roared with laughter, "BWAAHAHAHAAH! IF YOU TWO WANT TO FIGHT AMONGST YOURSELVES, BY ALL MEANS DO SO! BUT AT LEAST I HOPE YOU'LL WATCH YOUR FRIEND AND THAT FLAG GET BLOWN TO BITS!"

"NOT BY A LONG SHOT, FATASS!" I shouted at him, blocking another shot.

Chopper charged at Wapol again, but this time he was blocked by Chessmarimo.

"There is no way I'll let you lay a paw on our king." The two faces said in sync.

Chopper grew to his child like form. Chessmarimo said that apparently Chopper was the yeti from before that all the villagers feared long ago. They said that he was a monster and nobody liked him, that he had no friends and him trying to save the country was the dumbest thing they ever heard.

Chopper said, "SHUT UP! Even if I don't have friends I can still fight for something I believe in! And as long as the flag flies, I will!"

"You wrong on one account Chopper." I said. He turned and looked at me.

"YOU DO HAVE FRIENDS! I'M YOUR FRIEND!" Luffy shouted as he stretched back and flung himself at the enemy.

-BAM-

They were covered in a cloud of snow. I couldn't see them, but I had my bazooka at the ready.

When the snow cleared, Luffy was on one knee, laughing like crazy.

"YOU SHOULD BE FLAT AS A PANCAKE!" Chopper yelled in surprise.

"Yeah, but I'm fine because I'm a rubber man." Luffy said.

I walked up to him, but Doctorine got in my way. "I thought I told you to take it easy."

I shook my head. "I can't let this guy get away alive. If Luffy fights him, he will get away alive. Luffy doesn't kill his enemies, he just beats them senseless. I won't let him get away this time."

I stepped past her. I walked over to Luffy. "Want some help captain?"

He smiled widely. "Sure, let's kick his ass! Hey reindeer, can you finish that two headed guy?" Luffy said.

Chopper nodded his head and said, "That one over there, piece of cake."

Luffy grinned. "I'll give you support fire while you get in close. Watch the teeth."

Luffy nodded as the fat giant waddled towards us.

"Rumble Ball!"

Luffy immediately turned around and ignored Wapol, watching Chopper's fight.

"You dare ignore me?" He said angrily at Luffy.

-BAM-

I hit him in his tin plated stomach. "I'm still here you fat hippo!"


	51. Chapter 51

The Fight With Wapol Ends In A Bang

Biggest Loser Loses

I was fighting Wapol alone, as Luffy and everyone else watched Chopper's fight.

_GOD DAMN IT!_

He fired his guns at me, but I was able to dodge most of them. My body was feeling weak and sore, but my anger kept me going.

I knocked his giant gun away and would hit him in the chest over and over again. When he would chomp down on me I would uppercut his jaw. When he would try and sit on me I would jump back and fire my bazooka at him.

My wounds were holding together as far as I could tell. My chest was sore, I had a cramp in my leg, and my left hand was still messed up which made my left bazooka stall about a second.

This wouldn't end well.

He was getting worn down, but his giant metal covered body was a good defense. I tried to hit him in weaker parts of his body, like a window or the door. He would shift his body so the blast would hit a well protected part.

He hit me with one of his cannons, but it didn't hurt as much as I thought. It still ripped my blue coat a little.

It wasn't until he finally caught me off guard and fell on me. There may have been snow, but I was imprinted all the way into the snow and pressed on the rock below.

-THUD-

He got back up, but I couldn't see him. I struggled to get back out. My body was feeling numb from being pressed into the snow like that.

"AAAAAAH!" I shouted and got out, but he was already gone. He must have went into the castle.

_NAMI!_

Chopper's battle had ended I guess. I saw him in one of his special forms, the Arm Point I think, and he gave a strong uppercut to Chessmarimo's lower chin.

-BAM-

The giant was flung upwards and was defeated.

"YEAH! ALRIGHT WOW!" Luffy cheered. "You were incredible, reindeer! No, you were more than that!"

"Hey Luffy, where's the big guy?" Sanji strained to say as Doctorine was sitting on his back.

"HE WENT INSIDE THE CASTLE! GET HIM BEFORE HE HURTS NAMI!" I shouted.

Luffy and I ran inside, while Sanji crawled after us with incredible speed, saying, "If he lays a finger on her, I'm gonna chop him up and feed him to the sharks!"

* * *

I ran inside and saw Nami, outside, rapped in a blanket, and getting chased by a hungry looking Wapol!

"HEY! LEAVE HER ALONE YOU FAT BASTARD!"

Nami ran downstairs and…Wapol got stuck in the stairway.

That…was fucking hilarious.

Then Wapol did something that topped his eating of our ship.

He ate HIMSELF!

His lower jaw stretched over his own head and he just munched down on his body until he was nothing but a silver bucket with teeth on the top.

The Wapol Bucket hopped down the stairs as Nami backed away cautiously.

The bucket made munching sounds until it steamed and leaped into the air. Wapol's body came back out of his jaw.

Ok, before he was like a rectangle, and now he looks like a pencil.

He was extremely tall, extremely skinny, and extremely gangly looking.

"I'm lean and mean!" He said in a not so obese voice.

He leaped for Nami and she almost fell over in terror.

"O NO YOU DON'T YOU SKINNY BASTARD!" I shouted.

I leaped in the air and caught him. He seemed surprised how I appeared out of nowhere.

"BAZOOKA PUNCH!"

-KABOOM-

My blast knocked him back to the ground as I landed near Nami.

"You ok Nami?" I asked her.

She looked very thankful as she said, "I'm glad you got here when you did, but let's not cut it so close next time. Anyways, who is that guy?"

"Wapol." Was all I had to say. She realized who he was from Doctorine's story.

Wapol was still alive, unfortunately. "Damn you strawhat!" He cursed at me.

"Shut your skinny mouth! Time for you to die painfully!" I shouted back to him.

Wapol charged at us, I put my arms up in defense. But I didn't need to.

"FOUND YOU!" I heard Luffy shout.

-BAM-

Luffy's foot stretched past us and hit Wapol in the face, smashing him into the wall.

Luffy caught up to the rest of us and asked, "Hey, that's funny. Wasn't he a big fatso before?"

"He got liposuction?" I suggested.

Nami looked at Luffy's…no…_her_ jacket and grunted in anger. She hit him over the head so hard his rubber neck stretched downward and hit the ground.

She had a dark smile on her face as she said, "So…do you mind telling me why the coat I kindly loaned you is all torn up before I murder you?"

She patted him on the shoulder as Luffy yelled in terror.

Nami's dark expression turned into anger as she yelled, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I HAD TO PAY FOR THAT THING? 28,800 BERRI! AND THAT WAS AFTER HAGGLING!"

"Relax Nami. It's just a jacket." I told her.

She pointed at me, still glaring at Luffy, and shouted, "YOU BE QUIET ONE WHO HAS NO MONEY!"

I fell to my knees and looked at the ground in shame as Nami continued to yell at Luffy.

_Ah, this is what you call…comedy._ Michael said cheerfully.

_Keep it up smart-ass._

"HEY, WAIT! I DIDN'T DO IT! THAT LOUDMOUTH OVER THERE DID!"

Nami's tone changed into a much calmer one as she said, "Ok. If that's the case Luffy, I guess I can forgive you. To be honest I should have known you would have never brought it back in good condition when I let you borrow it. You can just pay me back at my usual 300% interest. Which comes to…100,000."

I got up to say something about that, but she put her foot on my head and shoved me back into the snow.

_Cold, so cold._

"HELLO! I'm still here!" Wapol said in an annoyed tone.

We all looked at him glaring at us.

"Oh," Luffy remembered, "that's right. I still got to kick your but." Luffy said.

"While you're doing that, I'll be shoving my bazooka down his throat." I added in.

He put his hand back and pointed towards a door that was behind him.

He announced, "Behind me lies this castles arsenal and I'm the only one who has the key to it! Inside these walls are some of the most fearsome weapons known to man! All I need to do is to devour them, Strawhat! Then my Munch Munch Shop will make them apart of my body! And you will be forced to face a living weapon to which you've never seen!"

_HAH! He can't open it because Nami stole his key when…he knock her…down?_

_OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!_

He held up the key in his hand and put it in the door.

"FLASH STEP!"

-WHOOSH-

I appeared right next to him and kicked him away. I snatched the key out of the door and put it in my pocket.

I then stuck my tongue at him and said, "NAH NAH!"

-WHOOSH-

I flash stepped back to where Nami and Luffy were.

_Whoo! Crisis averted._

_Cop out._ Michael complained.

_Shut it!_

He got back up and shouted, "THIS ISN'T OVER!"

Wapol quickly ran up the stairs.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE!" Luffy shouted angrily and he followed.

I looked at Nami and said, "You should probably get back inside. It's freezing in here."

She looked at me in my torn coat and said, "You should talk!"

I didn't stay around to talk anymore as I ran after the other two up the stairs.

I busted the door down just as Luffy grabbed Wapol's mouth.

Luffy then said, "It doesn't matter if you're a king. Or even a god! It doesn't matter if you're someone who's great, or someone who's not so great! I'm still going to kick your lousy but!"

_Truer words have never been spoken._

Wapol opened his mouth impossibly wide to swallow Luffy whole, but Luffy's fingers stretched so that his mouth couldn't reach him.

Then Wapol's tongue changed into a cannon.

_Wait…WHAT THE FU…_

-KABOOOOOOOOOOOOM-

I intercepted the blast by punching it with my cannon.

"WHAT! When did you get here, boy?" Wapol shouted in anger.

_You just bought yourself a one way ticket to HELL YA FUCKING BIGMOUTH!_

Luffy was right behind Wapol, but I looked at him and he backed off.

I flash stepped forward and whirled my fist.

"BAZOOKA UPPERCUT!"

-KABAM-

He was sent flying upward and got stuck in the roof of the tower.

Luffy and I jumped up to the roof. Wapol looked at us, completely terrified.

"Shall we finish this guy off Luffy?" I asked him.

"Yeah! Let's do this!" He responded.

"WAIT! PLEASE! I'LL GIVE YOU MONEY!" Wapol pleaded.

Luffy stretched back is arms.

"A METAL AND A POSITION IN MY GOVERNMENT!"

I charged both of my bazookas to full power.

"PLEASE! STOOOOP!" He shouted in fear.

"SAY HI TO KURO FOR ME! MEGA…"

"GUM GUUUUUUM…"

We brought our attacks to his face.

"**BAZOOOOOOOOOOOKAAAAAA!**"

-**KABOOOOOOOOOM-**

A two-prong attack so strong, it sent his body flying like an airplane. I could see his body disintegrating as a black trail of dust followed.

All that was left on that broken roof was me, Luffy, and a brand new dark soul.

Luffy looked at me, and I looked at him. We could barely contain our excitement.

We smiled widely, and jumped up in the air shouting, "WE WOOOOOOOOOOON!"

We were laughing and high fiving like a bunch of idiots, but it was ok.

I picked up Wapol's dark soul and swallowed it.

_70 souls down, 29 to go._

Luffy looked down and said, "HEY! It's more of bigmouth's guards!"

I looked downward and saw it was clearly Zoro and Usopp, but Luffy launched himself downward at them and they all disappeared in a puff of snow.

_Well, I'm going to take the stairs down._

* * *

I walked past the giant door that was suppose to be the weapon's room. I dug through my pocket's until I found the key I had.

_Should I? Could I? Will I? Oh hell yes!_

I unlocked the door and pushed it open.

Wow…All I could say was…WOW!

Guns and cannons and bombs, oh my! Nothing but rows of cannons, walls of guns and swords and axes! Giant shelves full of cannonballs and chains holding down even bigger guns!

_I need to take one of these! I GOT TO!_

I looked through everything, which was an understatement seeing how this room was the size of…of…I don't know but it was really huge!

I saw one of them that caught my eye. It was a bazooka, of course, with a narrow silver barrel and funny designs imprinted on the sides. It was about four feet long in total, a red handle that fit my hand perfectly, and to top it all off a leather and velvet strap on the back that let me sling it over my shoulder and it wouldn't slide off at all.

_Perfect._

I slung it over my shoulder and loaded a few of the special cannonballs inside of it. You never know right? And while I was there I saw this really cool looking pistol. In fact it looked kind of familiar to me.

It was about a foot long, golden metal covered the handle, with a shining golden barrel and a sort of redwood body. The golden handle had a dragon imprinted on it.

_I think I saw this gun when I was playing a video gmae...Fable II I think. What was it called?_

_I think it was called the Dragonstomper .48, the gun used by the Thief, Reaver I recall._ Michael informed me.

_Well, I think I should take it then._

I found the holster to it and put it around my waist. I holstered the gun, took all the ammo for it I could find, closed the giant door as quietly as possible and locked it up.

_Wow…I'm stealing from these people. NAH! It's just one bazooka and a gun! So what?_

_Still, you may anger them if they find all this stuff you have._ Michael warned me.

_Can you make it invisible?_ I stupidly asked.

_How could I do that? _He asked.

_Well, they are apart of my body right now._

…_Good point._ He concurred.

The bazooka and gun vanished. I tried to grab them, but nothing was there.

_I will hold them until we get to the ship._ He ensured me.

* * *

I made my way outside and saw everyone staring at Chopper hiding behind a tree.

"Hey! What is that thing? It almost looks like a reindeer!" One of them said.

One of them began to say, "It almost looks like a mon…"

"SHAT AAAAAAP!" I yelled at them. I flash stepped between them and Chopper and held my arm up in defense.

"This is the guy who helped save this island! HE AIN'T NO MONSTER! GO THAT? YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH HIM YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME YA HEAR? _I'M _THE REAL MONSTER!"

I glared at them and they backed off. I turned to Chopper and got to one knee. He was still cowering behind the tree (though he was doing it badly seeing as how he was only covering half of his face), and held out one hand.

"Come on Chopper, let me introduce you to everybody." I said cheerfully.

He slowly moved out from behind the tree, and poked my hand with his hoof.

He grabbed my hand and said timidly, "Sure. I'm ok with that."

_What can I say, I'm an animal guy. But I hate cats! Just being clear on that._

Chopper still ended up running away from us after Usopp freaked out and called him a Yeti. I beat him over the head for that.

Luffy chased after Chopper into the forest (I didn't even know this place had a forest). Doctorine came up to the group, beat Zoro for calling her an old hag, and then ordering everyone to get Dalton inside, who wasn't looking good by the way.

I tried to tell everyone exactly what happened up here, but they all freaked out when I told them that I carried Nami, Sanji, and Luffy up the mountain.

"WHAAAAT? ARE YOU OK! YOU NEED TO LIE DOWN!" Vivi shouted with concern at me.

"Nah, I'm fine. Wasn't that big of a deal." I said.

That made them freak out even more.

"Excuse me." I heard Doctorine say to me.

-BAM-

"Stop talking and get back to the medical ward!" She shouted as she kicked me over the head.


	52. Chapter 52

We're Sent Of With a BANG!

Recuit The Deer Doctor: Mission Complete

I was forced to sit back down in a bed that was put on the opposite side of Nami's bed. She was frowning at the fact we were stuck here for three more days. Vivi was at Nam's bed, keeping her company.

In the other room I could hear Sanji being operated on by Doctorine. Which was a mixture of Sanji screaming in pain and Doctorine cackling.

After she was done, she took a long drink of her wine bottle and asked, "Dalton, surely you would know where the key to the arsenal is?"

Dalton's guards were all looking at Dalton as he responded, "Why do you need to get in there?"

Doctorine just smiled and said, "That's really none of your business now is it?"

Dalton told her that Wapol kept it on his person at all times and that it was probably destroyed when he was sent flying.

Doctorine was about to give up, until I said cheerfully, "Oh Doctorine, I got a proposition for you."

Everyone looked at me curiously. I continued, "I want you to let us go, right now, for free. How's about it?"

She raised an eyebrow. "What?" She asked.

"You heard me," I said, "Discharge me, Nami, and Sanji from here without having to pay you a single berri. How's about it?"

She grit her teeth. "Are you really that stupid? Why should I let all you go without fully recovering AND without paying? What could you possibly have?"

I smiled and held up the silver key. "Why the key to the arsenal of course!"

Everyone gasped. Dalton asked, "How did you get that key?"

Doctorine smiled, "How do I know that's the real key to the arsenal?"

_Michael, if you would._

_Of course._ He responded.

I pulled out the Dragonstomper and said, "Then how did I open the door and get this cool looking gun? Oh, and I'm taking this as well."

Everyone backed off and said in awe, "That's one of Wapol's strongest pistols!"

Doctorine was about to come in close to take the key from me, but I simply pointed the gun at her.

"Screaver! This isn't going to let us leave any sooner!" Vivi tried to pacify me.

"Now I'm going to ask you again, how's about it?"

She grit her teeth and said, "You got a lot of balls to threaten me like this boy."

"I'm not going to shoot you." I said, and I put the gun away, "And stop calling me boy!"

I tossed her the key. She grunted and said, "Fine, you don't have to pay my doctor's fee but that's as much as I'll agree too. As a doctor I can't allow you to leave in good conscious. Not for two days!"

She was about to leave when I shouted, "HEY! WE NEED TO GO NOW!"

Doctorine quickly turned around and pointed at me. "LISTEN HERE BOY!"

Everyone looked at her as she said, "I have to leave you all alone to take care of a few things. If you look in the back room you _might_ find a few coats that will fit you all, and it's not like I'm posting any guards on you. And the young man with the spinal fissure is probably fine enough to travel by now. But boy, don't you think about trying to escape!"

She told the rest of the guys to come with her and left me, Nami, Vivi, and Dalton alone in that room.

"Well, now what? She said we still can't leave!" I said in agony.

Vivi and Nami hit their foreheads in frustration and said, "She just told us to take the coats, get Sanji, and sneak out!"

"Even I could tell." Dalton added in.

I looked at everyone and shrugged. "Oops?"

Nami looked at me and said, "Seriously, how did you get that key?"

I smiled at her, "What? You think you're the only one with sticky fingers?"

* * *

We got all buttoned up, got Sanji, and walked out the front door. I was carrying Sanji just like I did when I was carrying him up the mountain, slung over my shoulder.

We made it to the front gate just as Chopper was confronting Luffy.

"HEY!" Luffy shouted cheerfully. "You're gonna come to our ship and be a pirate with us, ok?"

Chopper was looking down and said, "I can't."

"Sure you can, reindeer! It's a whole lot of fun!" Luffy continued.

"That's not a very good argument!" Usopp shouted at him as he was building a snowman.

Chopper was looking downward in sadness. "I can't." He said again. He then shouted in anger, "I'M NOT A HUMAN, I'M A REINDEER! I have antlers and hooves don't you see? I EVEN HAVE A BLUE NOSE!"

"SO WHAT?" I shouted at him.

He looked at me in shock. "SO WHAT IF YOU HAVE A BLUE NOSE? Usopp has a big nose! Luffy is made of rubber! I'm the only one with brown hair! You won't find other humans like that! If you won't join us because you ain't human…THEN THAT ISN'T A GOOD REASON!"

He looked at me like he was in pain. "Ok, maybe I do want to be a pirate! BUT I CAN'T EVER BE ONE OF YOU! I'M NOT HUMAN! I'M A MONSTER! I can't become your friend and I can't become a pirate on your ship! You see?"

He was trying to act angry, but I could see that he was about to cry.

"I'm just here to say…thank you. I appreciate you asking me to join your ship. That was…really nice. So…thank you."

His voice was trembling. He was biting his lower lip. We all stared at him in silence.

"I'm going to stay here for now." He told us. He forced a smile and then said, "But if you wanted to…you can stop by here again…"

"SHUT UP! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO!" Luffy shouted triumphantly, cutting Chopper off.

_Um…ok…_

We all smiled at our captain's response. Chopper began to cry in happiness.

"Most people don't make friends by telling them to shut up." Zoro grumbled.

"Well Luffy ain't most people." I told him.

* * *

We were all waiting outside for Chopper to say his goodbyes to Doctorine.

Usopp asked Nami, "Are really feeling ok?"

Nami just smiled at him and said, "Sure am! I feel great!"

I wasn't feeling that super special awesome. My chest was still sore from that massive blast of power that seemed to come the fuck out of no where.

"Are you ok Screaver? Did you use your Demon Hunter again?" Nami asked me.

I took a deep breath and forced a smile, "Nope. I'm just a little winded. All I need is to get back to the ocean and I'll be…_huff_…good as new."

They were still a bit cautious, but they seemed to let it go.

"I still can't believe you climbed that mountain yourself! Carrying three people!" Vivi said in shock.

Usopp just grunted. "I can believe it. It's just like I taught you Screaver!" He said in his courageous way.

-BAM-

I hit him over the head. He was thrown into his snowman.

"I'm ok." He said weakly.

"You won't be if you keep it up." I said to him.

A loud noise was coming from the castle. It was a bunch of crashing sounds, yelling, and Chopper's high pitched scream.

Chopper was running outside, in his deer form, pulling a huge purple sleigh.

"EVERYONE! GET ON THE SLEIGH! WE'RE GOING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN! HURRY!"

We also saw a crazy Doctorine chasing him slinging a giant mace around.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL US TWICE!"

We all hopped on and Chopper pulled the sleigh down a giant rope that was connected to the mountain.

_Wish I knew about that BEFORE I climbed the giant mountain and lost ten years off my life._

We were so high up I could see all the trees and towns bellow. We all didn't even fit inside the sleigh! Luffy was just hanging out of the sleigh in the open air as Usopp kept a hold of his arm.

It was a magical ride.

* * *

We hit the ground and passed by a group of curious people, not paying them any attention as we charged into the forest.

As we continued on we were stopped by…a heard of reindeer.

A group of reindeer were blocking our path too the shore.

Chopper freaked out.

"What is it Chopper? Are they your friends?" Luffy asked stupidly.

I hit him over the head for that.

One reindeer stepped forward. It was bigger than the rest. It had a claw mark across it's forehead, another scar across it's snout, and it's antler was partially broken off.

"F…father." Chopper said quietly.

Nami and Sanji gasped when he said that.

The reindeer seemed to say something, it was a weird grunting animal noise.

"What's he saying?" Usopp said.

"He says that…I can't leave here. He won't let me leave here after running away in a fight." Chopper said in a trembling tone.

The buck continued to grunt.

Chopper continued, "He says that…he's my father and…he decides if I leave or not."

The alpha buck clawed the ground, ready to charge at him.

Chopper was unresponsive. He was looking at his dad with blank, terrified eyes.

The buck charged at Chopper.

-BAM-

I intercepted the buck with my own forehead.

"SCREAVER!" Usopp shouted in terror.

The buck stepped back and shook it's head. I rubbed my forehead. The buck tried to charge again, but I kept meeting his head but wit my own.

-BAM-

-BAM-

-BAM-

My forehead was beginning to bleed. So was the other deer's head. I charged at him and grabbed the animal by it's neck.

"NOW YOU LISTEN HERE TO STUPID PIECE OF MEAT! CHOPPER IS NOT YOUR SON ANYMORE! HE WAS NEVER YOUR SON TO BEGIN WITH! CHOPPER IS OUR FAMILY NOW GOT IT? YOU MESS WITH HIM YOU MESS WITH ME! YOU BETTER BE GLAD I DON'T TURN YOU INTO A WALL DECORATION! NOW…GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

I threw the deer back to his heard. He struggled to get back up and glared at me angrily. I glared even fiercer.

"Now...**GET OUT OF HERE**!"

He grit his teeth (if deer can do that) then turned around and led the blockade of reindeer back into the forest.

I turned to face Chopper. He was crying. "Thank…Thank you Screaver." He said quitely.

I smiled, wiped the blood from my forehead and said, "No problemo."

Everyone looked at me in awe.

"Screaver…you didn't have to go that far." Usopp said.

"That deer was a terrible father." Sanji said. "I'm surprised you didn't do worse."

I shrugged. "What can I say? He was Chopper's blood father."

Chopper shook away his tears and said, "Come on, we need to keep moving."

* * *

We continued through the forest. Vivi was wiping my forehead with a handkerchief.

We weren't even near the shore, but Chopper stopped and turned back around.

**-KABOOM- -KABOOM- -KABOOM-**

We all looked back up and saw the giant pillar shaped mountain. A long series of cannon blasts were echoing through the night.

The cannon blasts stopped.

And then…

-**WHOOSH-**

The sky around the top of the mountain lit up in a blinding light. None of us could see for a moment.

When the light died down a little, we looked up and saw…

_Oh I don't fucking believe it!_

The whole top of the mountain lit up with a huge, monumental, pink cloud. The snow that fell from the sky turned pink as it fell around us. The cloud grew bigger and bigger until the entire mountain looked like a giant pink tree.

_So this is what the good doctor spent his life trying to do. Well I'll be damned._ Michael said in awe.

_Now **there's** something you don't see everyday._

I could almost hear the epic orchestra playing music over these scene. The cloud was growing even more bigger and birghter with each passing second. Even the snow that came down on us was turning pink.

I even cried a little.

Chopper cried so loudly that it seemed more like shouting more than crying.

Vivi was grabbing my hand as she looked up in amazement. Nami was grabbing my other hand.

_I'm a lucky lucky guy._

It got even better. The whole area was beginning to turn a glowing shade of pink. Not even like the gay pink! It was a warm, beautiful shade of pink.

Well…I guess you had to be there…like me!

Nothing like in the anime, like I always say. The cloud was getting brighter as well. It really looked like a huge cherry blossom tree. It made me feel so warm and good inside.

If this couldn't cure a country of its sadness, I don't know what will.

_This has been…another moment that make's me happy to be a strawhat._

* * *

We were all aboard the ship and were sailing away from Drum Island. The giant cherry tree was still beautiful even as we got farther and farther away.

Usopp whispered to us, "You think Chopper is doing ok? He seems a little down."

"Let's just give him some time to collect his thoughts." I suggested.

"It's his first journey out as a man. It's a rite of passage." Sanji said.

"And he's about to leave Drum Island for good." Vivi said with concern. "It's been his home his entire life."

* * *

In a matter of minutes, all the guys were laughing at Luffy as he stuck chopsticks in his nose and began dancing like a moron.

"COME ON CHOPPER! SNAP OUT OF IT!" Usopp shouted.

All the guys were acting all merry. Usopp grabbed Chopper and said, "Here, you want a drink?"

Sanji pushed him out of the way and said, "Come sing a song with us!"

Luffy came out of no where and said, "Stick these chopsticks up your nose!"

I was in my crowsnest, placing my new bazooka and gun next to my box-o-memories (that's it's name now). After I cleared out all the snow I covered the place with the tarp and climbed back down to the party.

The girls were arguing at Zoro for getting Carue frozen in the river.

I was happy just sitting quietly in the corner and just watching Zoro get hit over the head by Nami.

_Ah, typical evening on the Merry Go._

My chest was hurting as usual, but I had gotten use to it by now.

_My soul is still decaying. I need just 29 more souls and I'll become a death scythe._

_You just need some rest Screaver. That pain came from your battle with Wapol. I have the ability to dull the pain for a while, but sooner or later the pain will come back. Just not as strong._ Michael said.

_How much of my live have I lost?_

_It's not looking good. So far you've lost almost fifteen years. And that's just an estimate! The decay has been stabilized at the moment, so your live span won't be dropping until you decide to use Demon Hunter again._ He told me.

_Could you explain that?_

_Well, using soul resonance is like plugging a cord into a socket, a miser being the cord and you being the socket. Well, thanks to me, you've been basically plugging the cord right back into your own socket, causing your soul to surge. Well, after you first used the Demon Hunter, you soul began to break down and decay. In order to stop that decay I have to put a sort of barrier around your soul to stop it from decaying. But when you use Demon Hunter, that barrier is knocked out until you deactivate it, and I have to put it back up to stop the decay. Understand?_ He explained.

_Sounds kinda dirty, but I think so. And when I get the death scythe power, my soul won't decay anymore?_

_Exactly. You soul will become strong enough to handle activating Demon Hunter and will stop decaying. It's risky, but you've never feared those odds before right?_

_You know me well Michael-sama._

Usopp announced, "I PROPOSE A TOAST TO OUR NEW FRIEND CHOPPER!"

"Come on Screaver! Join the party!" Sanji said, handing me a drink.

I got to my feet and gave him a half crazy smile. "You don't even have to ask!"

"TO CHOPPER! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAH!"


	53. Chapter 53

The Confusion of An Over-Average Deliquent

Glimpsing Into My Future

It had been a whole day since we left Drum Island and everyone was all settled in.

The climate was warm so the snow had melted all away in a matter of hours and we all changed out of winter clothing.

It was night time, and I was resting in my crows nest.

_You want to spar some Screaver?_ Michael asked.

_Nah, I just want to relax for a little bit. How about tomorrow?_

_Your call Screaver._ He said.

I got to my feet and walked out to the empty deck. I had to clean the entire place seeing how everyone had trashed the whole thing with spilled food, broken plates, and snot covered chopsticks. But it was clean now, thanks to me.

The sky was calm, the water splashed against the side of the ship, the salty air gave a slight breeze.

"Such a calm night." I said to myself.

"It certainly is." A voice said behind me. I turned around and saw Vivi out of the doorway.

"Oh, hi Vivi. Can't sleep?" I asked.

She nodded. "I can't stop thinking about Arabasta. We need to get there any tell them the truth."

I nodded in agreement.

"I'll make sure you do Vivi." I said, pounding my fist.

She smiled timidly. "May I ask you a question?"

I nodded.

"Why did you attack that deer like that?" She asked.

I explained to her about Chopper's past. His father abandoning him, Dr. Hiluluk adopting him, etc.

When I finished, she said, "He's had a rough past."

"Haven't we all?" I said bluntly.

She nodded in agreement.

"I didn't want that guy to be in Chopper's way so I head butted him! Violence…solves all my problems."

"Violence isn't the answer to everything." Vivi told me.

"I don't mean to be rude but…well…In my experience, talking out a problem has never worked for me. So I use my fists to talk for me most of the time."

"But that isn't the same for all situations. What about what happened when we got to Drum Island? What would have happened to us if you attacked them?" She reminded me.

I shrugged. "Well, you got me there."

"See? You don't need to use violence all the time! You need to remain calm and…"

I cut her off. "Look Vivi, I appreciate the input but…I have lived this way for a long time. You can't change a person with words alone, you need action."

"But action alone won't help either!" She implored.

"Why are you telling me this anyway?" I said, starting to get annoyed.

She looked down and rubbed her hands. "It's just that…you could get hurt."

"So?" I said.

She looked at me in shock.

"So what if I get hurt? So what if I die? If I die protecting my friends then there's no shame in that."

"How can you say that? If you die then you'll cause pain for all those who cared for you! Luffy and the others and…me."

I raised an eyebrow. "What are you exactly saying Vivi?"

She bit her lower lip.

"What does it sound like? I…I do care for you Screaver. I would be devastated if you died for my sake!"

"If a man pointed a gun at you and I was alert to the situation, I would gladly push you out of the way and take the bullet!"

_That did kind of happen already, and you just stood there and…_Michael began to say.

_NOT THE BEST TIME TO BE A SMART ASS!_

"You don't have to die for me!" She pleaded.

"Look at you and look at me! You are a princess of an entire nation. Then look at me! A rude, violent, lowly pirate who hasn't done any good his entire life!"

"What do you mean? You've done so much for me and for everyone else!" She said.

"I mean before that!" I shouted.

She looked at me and seemed confused.

"I can't say much but…before I met Luffy…I was labeled a loser. A delinquent. Living live my own way, doing no good for anyone except myself. Sure I did a good deed once in a while, but that was out of anger and rage!"

Vivi was beginning to cry a little, but I didn't really notice.

"I had little friends, no girlfriend, and no goal in life. I was a loser and a screw up! I had nobody…I was a nobody…no one gave two shits about me! And if I could have ended that stupid life if it meant that it would have done some good then…"

Vivi came up to me and…kissed me.

Her tears rubbed on my face.

She pulled away and said in a shaky tone, "Don't ever say that! You're a kind, selfless person Screaver! Whoever told you different is wrong! Sure, you may act violent sometimes, but think about everything you've done! You're not the person they say you are, whoever they may be. I…I couldn't love a man who was a kind as you!"

_She…she said she…loves me?_

Vivi was crying. She pressed her body against me.

"Don't…don't die…you can't die." She shouted in tears.

I looked at her in shock.

_She really cares about me?_

I hugged her and said calmly, "Don't worry. I never said I planned on dying anytime soon."

She looked right in my eyes and said, "Promise?"

I looked into her gray, tear filled eyes. "Promise."

She let up as I wiped the tears away fro her eyes. "I can do that myself." She said.

"I thought is was only fair seeing as how you wiped my forehead." I said.

She smiled. She sniffed her nose. Her cheeks were all red from crying.

"Let's get some rest Screaver. We'll need it." She said cheerfully.

I nodded as she went back inside.

"My first confession from another girl. I guess it never would have happened in Texas."

"I hope you know what you're doing Screaver." Michael said as he appeared behind me. I almost jumped.

"Don't do that!"

"You need to choose Screaver. Choices, choices, choices." He repeated.

"I know but…"

"Hang on Screaver." He said as he rubbed his head.

I raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

"What I use to do; predict the future." He said.

"WHAT? You could do that this entire time?" I said, about to hit him.

"No no no, I told you. I need time to gain enough power in order to do these sort of things. It takes me about two months to give one glimpse into the future."

"Two months? I've really been here for two months?" I said in disbelief.

"Almost. Hard to believe it's been that long huh? Now quiet." He said. He removed his glasses and his eyes were lit with that neon blue.

The scene changed.

* * *

The ship and sky melted away to a stone room. It had windows that were filled with sunlight. I looked out and saw a huge city of white stone, filled with bustling people wrapped in clothes.

"Arabasta, Kingdom of the Desert." He said.

The room was big, with a double queen sized bed, several desks with papers and pencils, bookshelves packed with books, a huge fancy rug on the floor, and a bunch of engraved pictures on the walls.

A guy walked in the room. I quickly put my hands up in defense, but Michael appeared next to me and tapped my shoulder.

"This is just a vision. They can't sense us." He said.

I continued to look at the man. He looked like he was in his forties, wearing a fancy purple robe. He had brown hair that was cut short and a tied up beard. He sighed and rubbed his hands like he had arthritis.

He sat down at a desk and began writing on some papers, reading a few books, boring stuff.

"Umm…can we fast forward?" I asked Michael.

"Wait." He said, holding his hand up and pointed towards the door.

A woman walked in. She looked just as old as he was; mid thirties to early forties. But she seemed familiar. She had long blue hair and gray eyes. She looked pretty, had a nice body that's all I'm saying.

_DAMN IT! YOU LIKE…Umm…Well, NOT HER!_

"You just might." Michael said, as if he read my mind.

But after a minute I finally recognized her; It was Vivi! All grown up!

She walked up to the man and looked over his shoulder. He looked up at her and smiled happily. She smiled as well as he turned to kiss the future-Vivi.

"Should I really be watching this?" I said, kinda weirded out.

"What's the problem? You're just watching yourself making out with Vivi." Michael said bluntly.

"WHAAAAAAAT?"

Now that I got a good look at the old guy, he was ME! The smile, the brown eyes, even the scars! MEEEEEEEEE! MAKING OUT WITH VIIIIIIVIIIIIII!

"What is this?" I said in shock.

"This is the future you will have if you choose to be with Vivi. After the battle on Arabasta Vivi confronts you and begs that you stay with her at Arabasta. If you say yes, you stay and become her personal guard. Soon afterwards, you two get serious about each other and eventually get married. Making you the next king of Arabasta!" Michael said.

"Whoa whoa whoa…You mean…I'll end up with Vivi?" I asked him, freaked out.

"Like I said, it's your choice. Remember how I said that one's fate is locked in by certain actions well…this is one of those times! No matter what world you got to, fate will act the same in every occasion."

"Well…what about Nami? And Luffy and everyone?" I asked him.

"Well, I suspect you will stay on this ship. Just so you know, I can't predict what will happen if you choose Nami over Vivi, or that she will ever even love you. If you choose Vivi, that future is set in stone. But if you choose Nami, your future is still vague. She might not ever love you, and you two could even die. Choices, choices, choices."

"That doesn't make any sense! I'm a pirate, I have a bounty!"

MIchael shrugged. "No matter what you do, it WILL happen. Unless you die, nothing stops death you know."

I was having an entire internal discussion with myself.

_Wait, what about Vivi? She was so kind to me and cares for me so much._ One part of my brain said.

_But I promised to be with Nami, and she's already starting to like me._ _And I have done so much crap in order to protect her. I climbed a freaking mountain! _The other part said.

_But Luffy did the same, and he doesn't love her. And she could just be teasing me, like she does with Sanji on a regular basis. And Vivi is so pure, and I'll become a king!_

_But I'll have to become a follower of the damn government and won't be able to out to sea._

_But then I won't be put through all that pain that lies down the road like the Water 7 or the Separation arc._

_But then I won't even have a chance at saving anyone else!_

_HANG ON! I need to think about who I actually like, not the stupid pros and cons! Who am I, Ruban Feffer?_

"ENOUGH!" I shouted and the scene dissipated. I was back in that neon blue room that I met Michael all those weeks ago.

What…what should I do?" I asked him.

He looked at me with a sad face. "I'm sorry Screaver; I can't help you on this. I don't even know! I can't begin to tell you every possible outcome that could happen. Choosing Vivi will give you a peaceful life as king of Arabasta, that's all I know. Choose Nami and anything could happen! She may be the more dangerous decision but you promised to keep her safe forever. And may I remind you that if you choose one…"

"I know," I said finishing his sentence, "I can't go back."

He nodded.

"You don't have to decide right now. You have until the end of the war in Arabasta. Think about it, and choose well. Whatever you decide, I'll stay with you till the end." Michael said hopefully.

He snapped his fingers and I reappeared in my crows nest, leaving me with a lot to think about.


	54. Chapter 54

Another Day Aboard the Merry

Confronting The Queer

I couldn't sleep a bit the night before.

_Nami…Vivi…Nami…Vivi…Nami…Vivi…Nami…Vivi…_

-POP-

_Ow, I think a brain vessel just popped._

_Take it easy Screaver. No need to kill yourself now._ Michael said.

_Did I really sound like that?_

_Kinda. But I understand what you meant. Your life sucked so badly that if you could have ended it for a good cause then you would have. But that isn't the same now your here._

_You do know me well Michael-san._

_I am in your head after all._ He replied.

-BAM-

The entire ship shook. I looked out and saw that a huge bird had fallen onto the ship. And I mean HUGE! Like the size of an elephant huge.

Luffy and the others were making so much noise that I shouted, "HEY! I'M TRYING TO THINK HERE!"

They all looked at me. Luffy shouted, "HEY SCREAVER! I GOT SOME MEAT FOR US!"

I shrugged and gave a long moan. "That's great Luffy." I said in a depressed manner and hopped down.

I walked over to them and looked at the bird as they were all talking.

Sanji noticed me and asked, "Say Screaver, you feeling ok? You look like hell."

I shrugged. "Really, cause I feel like crap."

Luffy laughed at that. Chopper walked over and asked, "Do you feel sick?"

I smiled at him and patted him on the head. "It's not a medical problem Chopper, but I appreciate the concern."

Usopp looked me and asked, "What kind of problem is it then?"

I just smiled at all of them and said, "It's nothing, really. Nothing to worry about right now."

I tried to give them a hopeful look and they seemed to drop it.

Nami walked up the steps and announced, "Listen guys. We'll be landing in Arabasta soon and this is no time to be acting like a pack of hyenas!"

We came forwards to the deck as Vivi was informing Chopper on what was happening in Arabasta.

I kept quiet in the conversation as they listed the agents and their numbers.

All I could really say that I remember from the whole conversation was the fact that I killed Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine.

_Yeah…good times._

* * *

Everyone went about there normal business as I was still deep in though. I tried to get my mind off of the subject but…I CAN'T! IT'S MY FUTURE!

"Um…Screaver." Vivi asked me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

When I saw her, for a moment she looked just like she did in the future, and then changed back into regular Vivi. I rubbed my eyes and asked, "Do you need something?"

She was looking guilty. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have done what I did. It clearly upset you."

I jumped up and said quickly, "NO NO! It's alright! Really! I just had a REALLY bad dream and…I have a lot on my mind."

She looked concerned. "What is it? No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't ask you about something so personal."

I smiled at her, how she was acting so cute and not even realizing it. "It's fine Vivi, if your concerned, it's ok if you ask. It just that, well, that dream I had has given me a lot to think about."

"Like what?" She asked again.

"Well, about the future. What I need to do and choices I need to make."

She looked confused.

I shrugged. "It's very complicated."

She crossed her arms and asked, "Maybe I could help! What was the dream about?"

"NO! I can't say that!" I said quickly. She seemed shocked.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, I just need some time." I said.

She seemed to understand and said, "I'll leave you alone then. And for the record, whatever choices you make, I'm sure you'll make the right choice."

She smiled at me and went into the ship.

I groaned in agony.

_Seriously, why did you tell me my future ahead of time?_

_Because in my experience, whenever you don't know any better, you always choose the wrong decision!_ Michael said.

_Because I'm a screw up?_

_Why else?_ He said.

"What's with you lately?" Nami asked, freaking me out as she appeared out of nowhere.

Or maybe she walked up to me and I just didn't notice her.

"Oh, hi Nami." I said timidly.

"You seem really out of it. Is something wrong?" She asked me.

I gave her a timid smile and said, "Nothing really, just a bad dream."

"Oh." She said unimpressed. But here tone changed as she asked, "Well, if you want to talk about it, I'm always here."

I nodded. "Say Nami. Can I ask you something?"

She looked at me curiously and said, "I guess so."

"Do you…you know what, never mind." I said, quickly trying to leave.

She blocked my path and said, "You can ask me Screaver."

"Well…" I tried to ask, "Do you…um…do…you…"

"Do I love you?" She finished my sentence.

I was shocked that she picked up on what I was trying to say. I nodded.

She took a long look at me and said, "I don't really know. I do like you, that's for sure but…I don't know if I _love_ you just yet."

I looked down and sadly said, "Oh. I see."

She shook her head and quickly said, "But that doesn't mean I won't! I mean, I could love you, if you keep up what you're doing right. You need to, impress me."

I gave her a funny look. "I carried you up a huge, motherfucking mountain so you could get medical treatment! If that can't impress you I don't know what will!"

She looked upset. "You said you wouldn't use that against me!"

"Oh right, sorry. But still!" I remarked.

She sighed. "Well, first you need to finally pay me back all the berri you owe me, then we'll talk."

"Still? Not even a discount?" I tried to say.

She glared at me. "Fine fine, 200,000 berri coming up." I told her.

She smiled at that response, and was about to turn away before I said, "One more thing."

She turned to me and was looking impatient. "Anything else?"

"If you're going to decide about this, please do it soon." I said.

She shrugged. "Pay me back and we'll talk." She repeated, and went inside.

"I might not be here by then." I said quietly.

* * *

Sanji was confronting Luffy about eating all the food we had left.

Luffy was trying to not look guilty, but was looking so guilty in the process!

Seriously, he couldn't lie if his life depended on it.

"Don't lie to me Luffy! Tell me what you know right now." Sanji said angrily.

Luffy was looking away and was sweating a lot. Sanji got close to his face and pulled his head to face him.

"Don't look away from me! I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth!" Sanji said, getting even angrier.

Luffy's face slipped out from Sanji's hand and said in the most guilt full manner, "Noooo idea what you mean Sanji. I don't know anything?"

"Then let me ask you." Sanji continued, "How did enough food for nine people, which I carefully divided up so that it would last until we reached Arabasta, suddenly go missing in the middle of the night?"

Luffy was looking back and forth, sticking his lips out I guess, and was sweating even more than usual.

Sanji was about to give up, when I shouted, "Hey Luffy, what's that on your lips? It looks like chicken!"

Luffy freaked out and shouted, "OH NO! I FORGOT ABOUT THE CRUMBS!"

Sanji immediately turned around with a expression of pure anger and kicked Luffy across the ship, shouting, "I KNEW IT WAS YOU!"

-BAM-

Luffy's face collided with the side of the ship.

He turned to Nami and said daintily, "Hey Nami, we need to do something. We need a better way of keeping the food safe from Luffy."

He was smiling at her and, for some reason, making smoke hearts form out of the end of his cigarette as he pleaded, "Can we please buy a refrigerator that locks?"

She had a cautious look on her face as she said, "Well, maybe. Might be a good idea. Since it could be a matter of life and death."

Sanji bowed to her and turned to the other three fishin on the side of the ship, Usopp, Chopper, and Carue. They had just swallowed their last bites of food as Sanji walked slowly over to them.

Usopp announced, "Well, we really do need to catch something for Sanji!"

The others grunted in agreement.

"So," Sanji said trying to contain his rage, "how's the _fishing_ going?"

They all smiled at him with scared looks on their faces. They were sweating more than Luffy.

Usopp was speaking for all of them as he said, "Well it's a…a…heheh…"

They all turned back to the ocean scared shitless as Sanji put one hand on Usopp's head and the other on Carue's head.

He chuckled slightly as he…

-BANG-

…slamed all their head's together, smashing Usopp's and Carue's head into Chopper's head.

They all fell to the ground.

_Maybe they'll learn not to eat all the food next time._

* * *

I was up in the crows nest, looking through all my stuff. My guitar was completely unfunctional, the water damage from being covered in snow for several days was too much for it. I frowned as I sat it to the side.

I was also desperately trying to put that vision from my mind, so I tried to think of anything _not_ related to Vivi or Nami.

It didn't go well as you could imagine.

We hadn't eaten in a day or two. Since Luffy ate all the food in that one day, there had been no breakfast, lunch, or dinner! My hypoglycemia wasn't helping the situation as well.

I tried to sleep it off, but before I could…

-WHOOSH-

A huge amount of hot steam engulfed me and the ship. I could hear everybody complaing and coughing at the steam.

What…-cough-…the hell…-cough-…is going on?" I shouted.

"We…-cough-are passing…-cough-…through…-cough-…a hot spot!" Usopp shouted at me.

The steam soon cleared and we continued on. I was about to go back to sleep when I heard…

"AAAAAHH!"

Luffy and Usopp shouting in terror. Then I heard a splash, a girl sounding voice cry out for help, and then some more splashing.

I looked over and saw…

_Oh Jesus no!_

I saw…A QUEEEEEEEER!

It was a guy, I think. But it was wearing a pink coat, blue puffy pants, ballet slippers and it's hairy legs were showing!

It was HOOOOOOORRIBLE!

Now don't go all judging me. Just because I'm from Texas doesn't mean I'm a gay-hater. In fact, that stereotype is pretty stupid. But this guy…no…this THING scared the ever-loving shit out of me.

I know he was meant to be funny looking in the anime, but in real life it was like...BUUUUGH!

Worst of all it wore make up! MAKE UP! On what's suppose to be a guy!

"I thought I was going to die for a minute." The queer said. It was all soaked in water, breathing heavily. It sounded like a wussy man.

He got up and gave a freakishly huge smile and said, "HEEY! You saved my life! I never imagine my life to be saved by a group of complete strangers. Thanks again! I'll never forget your kindness!"

I was looking down at the guy talking with everyone. At least he was polite.

_I know this guy from somewhere. But where?_

He looked up at Vivi and grew a strange smile as he said in a seductive manner, "Oh hey! You're an absolute cutey aren't you? Oh yeah! SEXY!"

The instant he blew her a kiss is when I pulled out my new bazooka.

"Keep it up and your gay ass goes back in the ocean!" I shouted.

He raised his eyebrow at me and said, "OOH! You're a feisty little one aren't you?"

I shuttered. "Great, now I need to take a bath."

"So…" Luffy interrupted, "you really can't swim huh?"

He looked at Luffy and shrugged. "That's right, you see I ate a devil fruit. So I can't even swim a little bit."

"What kind of fruit?" Usopp asked.

The queer got to his feet and said, "Let's see. Well since I can't go anywhere until my ship picks me up there's no harm in a little fun! For saving my life, I'LL SO YOU!"

Luffy grined wildly as the ballerina put up his fists and shouted, "Now, get ready. THIS IS MY POWEEEEER!"

-BAM-

He hit Luffy in the head, sending him flying into the wall.

Zoro drew his swords, Usopp yelped in fear, I aimed my bazooka at him.

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Hold on a second!" I heard Luffy's voice shout. "This is all for a little fun remember?"

It was Luffy, but he was wearing the same clothes that ballerina was wearing. And That same ballerina…wait…HOLY SHIT HE TURNED INTO LUFFY?

How could I forget? This guy with the power to change into others by touching there faces?

The gay/Luffy guy was twirling around as the regular Luffy got back up and stared in awe. We all did.

"FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN! HEEHEHEEHEHAAHAHAA!" The gay/Luffy cheered. "And if I touch my face with my left hand…"

-POLOOP-

He immediately changed back to his normal look, if you could call it normal, like the scene made a jump cut.

"I'm back to normal!" He said in his regular voice. "Now that is the power of the Clone Clone Fruit you see!"

We were all shocked. Usopp said in disbelief, "The body and the voice matched perfectly!"

As we all looked, he touched Nami's, Usopp's, Chopper's, and Zoro's faces. Sanji wasn't here and I was still up in the crows nest.

"There! But honestly I didn't really have to slap you around like that."

He grew a big smile as he lifted his right hand. "Kay? Now watch…"

-POLOOP-

He shifted to Usopp. "All I have to do…"

-POLOOP-

He changed into Zoro. "…is touch my right hand to you!"

-POLOOP-

He shrunk to Chopper's form. "As you can see I can mimic anyone…"

-POLOOP-

I gulped as he turned into Nami. "That's not all! I can change…"

She/he opened his/her shirt. "…bodies too!"

I fell out of the crows nest in front of him/her.

-THUD-

I looked up and saw…Nami's…**beautiful beautiful beautiful** breasts!

_Wait! They aren't Nami's!_

_They pretty much are the same thing!_

I continued to stare for a few seconds as…

-BAM- -BAM-

…The real Nami hit him and me over the head, forcing him to return to normal.

"STOP THAT!"

"Sorry." I quietly moaned.

My back hurt, my head hurt, I was about to fall unconscious as Luffy tried to shake me back awake.

"HEY SCREAVER! WAKE UP!"

I made some mumbling and gurgling sounds.

"He'll be fine." Nami said.

"Screaver! Say something!" Vivi insisted.

_How could you have problems choosing between them? _Michael asked me.

_How about you mind your own damn business!_

* * *

I woke up again with my head resting on something soft and warm.

"Ugh…Who is…"

I looked up and saw Vivi wiping my forehead with a cloth.

I jumped up and freaked out. "WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY HOW THE HELLINGTON POST!"

I looked at Vivi who seemed shocked by my outburst of stupidity and looked around. Luffy, Usopp and Chopper were dancing with the gay guy and Nami was looking at me with her arms crossed. Her face showed that she was upset and she looked away quickly.

"Ima goona keel that faggot!" I said as I was about to go over there and…keel that gay guy!

Before I could, his ship pulled up next to ours.

Why do I know it's his ship.

Because it was as gay as he was! A swan head, pink sails, and just oozing with gayness!

GAYNESS!

He hopped up to our railing, gave us a teary good bye, and hopped onto his ship just as his men shouted, "YES SIR MR. 2, MR. BON CLAY SIR!"

Then his ship sped off into the horizon.

"WHAT? THAT WAS MR. 2?"

_I knew of course. I guess..._


	55. Chapter 55

**Super happy fun time! Wanna know why? Because I got all my work done and typed a new chapter, right now! Enjoy.**

Arrival In The Desert

Another Coincidence?

We all were terrified as Usopp shouted, "MR…2?

"VIVI!" Luffy complained. "You didn't know who he was by just looking at him?"

She said she never saw any of the top agents, but she had heard rumors that Mr. 2 had a swan coat, ballet slippers, and talked like a woman.

I shouted in anger, "WHO ELSE COULD FIT ALL THOSE REQUIREMENTS?"

She looked scared. I groaned in annoyance and looked through my scope vision.

"Well, I can't sink their ship from here. He's gone now!" I said in disgust.

She was mumbling on how he had turned into her father when he was performing for the others. I was going to ask when he did so but Zoro whispered that it happened when I was unconscious.

"You gonna faint in front of every girl we meet here? Even the ones who aren't even women?" He said jokingly.

I grit my teeth. "Shut you're fucking mouth or I'll break your jaw." I whispered back to him.

Vivi looked like she was about to cry. We all realized how dangerous that guy could be if he got to Arabasta in time.

Nami told us that if he found out that we were the ones that Baroque Works wants to kill, he could use his memories to become any one of us. We wouldn't be able to trust each other.

Zoro disagreed. He said that since we met him before we got to Arabasta, we could prepare.

* * *

We were relaxing on the ship for a while until the ship began to shake violently.

-WHOOSH-

A giant cat-like fish came out of the water and looked down at us.

Usopp and Chopper coward in fear. "IT'S A MONSTER!"

-SLICE-

"IT LOOKS LIKE FOOD TO ME!" Zoro shouted in a crazed look of hunger and joy. All of his swords were drawn.

"YEAH, LET'S GOOOO!" Luffy shouted with the same crazed look. He was gripping his arm and flexing, ready to fight it.

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" I shouted as I drew both my bazookas.

The kitten backed away in fear. "IT'S GETTING AWAY!" Zoro shouted in anger.

"REVERSE!" Luffy ordered. "PUT THE SHIP IN REVERSE!"

"NO WAY! WE CAN'T DO THAT!" Usopp declined.

Sanji rushed out as well shouting, "HEY! DON'T LET IT GET AWAY! IF THE THREE OF YOU DON'T CATCH IT I'LL KIIIIILL YOU!"

He was right next to us, same crazy look, rolling up his sleeves. "NOW THEN SEA KITTEN! HOW DO YOU THINK I SHOULD COOK YOU?"

We were all ready to strike until…

-BANG-

We were all hit in the head, hard, by Vivi holding a broom.

"NOOOO!" She screamed.

As we were all knocked into the railing, the giant catfish sunk back into the sea.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! OUR FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" I shouted in anguish.

I went into the feetle position, chanting, "hypoglycemia. Hypoglycemia. I'm…not…gonna…make it…before I die…tell my mother…she was…a horrible…mother."

"Vivi…"Luffy complained. "What are you doing? I'm hungry!"

"Why?" Sanji repeated. "Just why? It was food!"

Because you can't eat a sea cat! I can't let you!" She explained. "Sea cats are sacred animals in Arabasta!"

_Of all the important crap she forgets to tell us, and she remembers something as usless and stupid as THAT HORSE SHIT?_

Sanji put a hand on my back. "Come on inside. You need to sit down. Not eating for several days will do something to a guy with your problems."

* * *

I was sitting in the galley, wiping the sweat off my forehead. Sanji was looking throughout the kitchen for any food.

"I guess Luffy ate everything huh?" I said.

"Greedy pig." Sanji cursed. "No respect for the rest of us. And you have it the worst of all of us!"

"It's ok Sanji." I ensured him. "I've lived with this for many years. I'm used to this feeling."

"Well, as long as I am on this ship, no one will suffer from an empty belly! It's my duty as a cook!" He said to me.

In the end he found nothing. I thanked him for looking and slowly walked out to the deck.

Zoro was telling us all his plan about how to counter Mr. 2's devil fruit power.

He looked at me and smiled. "Hey Screaver! I want you to test something for me!"

-SSSSSSSSS-

"Ow." I moaned in monotone as he branded an X on my arm.

"There now! Who's next?" He said.

* * *

One after another he branded a black X on our left arms and we wrapped them in white cloth.

"This Clone Clone fruit guy, he can become similar to anyone of us?" Sanji asked.

"Not just similar, exactly the same. He became everyone of us, except you and me. He even formed into Nami and flashed her breasts at us."

"WHAT?" He jumped up and began shaking me.

I smiled slightly and said, "Oh yeah, we all got to see Nami boobs. Sorry you weren't here."

"YOU BASTARD! NEXT TIME, IF I EVER SEE THAT GUY WHO DISGRACED NAMI I'M GONNA KICK HIS HEAD IN!" He cursed.

"Yeah yeah, me too." I weakly said.

Luffy rallied us all into a circle and told us to hold out our arms.

"Now remember!" He told us. "This mark is a symbol of our friendship!"

We all agreed. "Now! Let's land ok? Then EAT! Oh and help Vivi."

"I'll cheer to that!" I shouted.

* * *

We made it to Arabasta. From the distance it was a huge island covered in giant desert dunes and sand. Just sand. Nothing but sand.

Oh, and a town or two.

We pulled into a sandy port a little ways away from the town.

"So this is an Arabasta city?" Usopp asked.

"Is there food?" Luffy asked in anticipation.

"Now listen carfully guys," Nami announced. "I want you all to do your best to control yourselves while we're here."

"Course Nami!" Sanji cheerfully replied, blushing and acting like typical Sanji.

I felt like I was a grade-schooler and we were about to go on a field trip personally.

Luffy had ran off before he got that message.

"FEEEEEEED MEEEE!" We heard him shout as he ran further away from the ship.

"GET BACK HERE!" Nami shouted in anger.

"Don't worry. He'll head towards the smell of food so we know he'll be in the city." I ensured him. "Otherwise listen for the sound of yelling and smashing!" I said and hoped off the ship.

I had my bazooka strapped to my back as well as my gun in its holster that I fastened around my waist. I also brought my bag on money, hidden inside another bag so Nami wouldn't find it.

Whatever, I brought it.

I looked up at them and asked, "Aren't you guys coming?"

Sanji, Zoro, and Chopper hoped off as well. Vivi said she couldn't go, seeing as how everyone would recognize the princess.

Carue also pointed out that Mr. 3's ship was docked next to ours!

We were wondering about what we were going to do until Usopp announced, "Don't worry. Usopp has a plan."

* * *

A stupid plan, but a plan none of the less.

Usopp, Nami, Vivi, Carue, Zoro, and I were hiding under a large tarp as Sanji and Chopper were casually walking behind them.

"This is blending in?" Nami asked him.

Usopp lead us to an area and threw off the tarp.

"HAHA!" He cheered. "It's safe to come out guys!"

We were in a broken down building with no roof, furniture, pretty much four broken walls.

It was out of the way so I couldn't complain.

Vivi was staring off into space, until Sanji asked her what was wrong.

She told us how glad she was that at least this town was ok, despite all the terrible things that were happening to Arabasta.

"Vivi." Zoro asked, "You said you had a plan to stop the rebel army didn't you?"

She told us that our only agreement was to bring her to Arabasta safely, until Nami hit her on the head and told her to shut up.

"We can't leave you now." I explained. "Not until we save this country."

Everyone else agreed. She looked at us gratefully, rubbing her head.

Nami also reminded Vivi how that Arabasta still owes her a big reward for bring her back. And she did it rather coldly.

I was about to say something, but Nami turned to me in a flash and said, "One word Screaver. One word, and your debt is tripled."

I closed my mouth and sunk back down.

She also began telling Zoro how he owed her 400,000 berri from Lougetown and they began arguing.

_Wait, if my debt is 200,000 for grabbing her breast, and Zoro is twice that for just borrowing some money then…why is that?_

_Maybe she likes you?_ Michael suggested.

Well, I was smarter than to ask her why my debt was so low.

Vivi told us about going to an oasis called Yuba, so that we could head the rebel army. She said we had cross a lot of desert before we get there so we should stock up on supplies.

Everyone was concerned about how Mr. 3 and the Baroque Works agents know our faces, but Sanji and Chopper were ok. Sanji hasn't seen any of the agents, and Chopper just got here so they decided to go out and buy everything.

"Hold it, I'm going too. I'll be damned if I just stay here and wait around. I've got some exploring to do." I said and walked off.

"Wait Screaver!" Nami complained.

I waved back and said, "Don't worry. I'll cover my face. None of them will find me!"

* * *

I was feeling more like a tourist by the minute. Open markets, shops, con artists, and lots of people in desert garb. I looked out of place with my black shirt and tan pants, so I found a shop with some clothes in it.

New clothes felt good. I had a blue head cover, a zig-zag gray coat with big sleeves, a pair of baggy pants, and new leather shoes.

The pants were a little too baggy so I fastened them wit a rope.

It was the perfect outfit!

I spent the next several minutes stuffing my face with food. I spent all my money, but it was worth it.

I munched down on many plates as the chef stared at me like I was some sort of freak.

After the nice meal I tossed him my money, wiped my face, thanked him, and left.

_Crap! Now I'm out of money!_

I need to get some money soon, or Nami will charge ME with interest.

Well, I looked all throughout the town, lots of different stuff but nothing.

* * *

Hours passed by until I thought I hit the jackpot.

"Attention! The annual Music Festival is about to begin! Anyone is welcome to enter in! Grand prize is 50,000 berri!"

Not 200,000 but it's a start.

Ok, a music festival, all people are welcome to participate, and it has a cash prize.

Can you say…coincidence?


	56. Chapter 56

_I Can Stop This Filler! Filler Time!_

Encountering Bob Marley?

Entering was no problem. I was the last person to go up, contestant #50, so I got to watch everyone perform.

There was a huge stage out in a pavilion or something. A big audience was spread out to watch the performance. All the contestants sat in chairs behind the stage.

Some were pretty good, some…not so much. Most were some foreign music, woodwind pipes, strings, a piano. Some were colorful, with beautiful dancer girls. That would help them in the contest I'm sure.

One guy before me looked pretty weird. He looked Jamacan (if they existed in this world), had long braided hair, a braided beard, and piercings all over his face. His arms were also covered in weird loopy tattoos.

He turned to me and looked at me. "You gonna sing with nothing to back you up?" He sneered.

"Yeah." I said back at him. "Got a problem with it?"

"I surprised you call yourself a musician, doing something so stupid like that!" He said, laughing at me.

"I don't call myself a musician really. What I _do_ call myself is a guy who could kick your ass!" I said in anger, balling my fists.

He held his hands up and said mockingly, "Alright alright, calm down. Just some friendly trash talking. No need to get all worked up!"

I sat back down. He looked at me and then held up his guitar case. "You should at least perform with something. Do you play guitar?"

I nodded.

He looked down in disappointment. He lifted up his case and opened it.

"What's your name?" He asked.

"Screaver. And what's your name Bob Marley?" I said.

He chuckled at that. "The name isn't Bob Marley. It's Hendrick."

"Ok Hendrick." I said, not paying much attention to him.

He gave me a smug smile and said. "Tell you what Screaver. I'm gonna ask you something."

"Go on with it!" I shouted.

"How's about we make a deal. I'm sure that in this competition, only one of us will win. So let's make a deal. If I win the prize, I get that pretty gun you have strapped to your back."

I got up and asked in an angry fashion. "You want my bazooka? What could you possibly offer that's worth this?"

"I can give you this beauty right here." He said, showing me his yellow teeth.

He pulled out a guitar, but it was…well it was obviously a special guitar or he wouldn't have offered it against my new bazooka.

It looked like a electric guitar, without the plug for the amp. It was electric green, with black flames around the sides. And it had a funky shape.

"This guitar right here. You win and I'll give this beauty to you. I'll even let you perform with it. Sound fair?"

Well, he sounds trusting enough. But he looks like a master at the guitar. I don't know, I can just feel it. But hey, even if he wins, I could just kick his ass and keep my bazooka. What have I got to loose?

"You're on." I said to him.

It was his turn. He went on and handed me the guitar. He then pulled out another one, purple instead of green, and stepped out as his number was called.

He didn't sing, but he didn't have to.

-BEOOOOOOBEBEBEOOOOO-

It was…really good! I don't know how to describe it. It was just hard core rock music. Fast paced, but it wasn't like metal either. It sounded like classic rock. Really good classic rock!

His fingers move so fast they seemed to disappear from the strings.

After the song, every applauded loudly. Man that was going to be a hard act to follow.

Unfortunately, I was the next and last contestant.

It was just me and the new guitar.

I didn't really know what song to sing.

_Which one, which one…Oh I know!_

It was my favorite Beatles song, 8 Days a Week. There wasn't a microphone, just a Den-Den Mushi on a stick at mouth level. So it was basically a One Piece microphone.

_Ooh I need your love babe,  
Guess you know it's true.  
Hope you need my love babe,  
Just like I need you!_

Hold me, love me, hold me, love me.  
I ain't got nothin' but love babe,  
Eight days a week!

Love you ev'ry day girl,  
Always on my mind.  
One thing I can say girl,  
Love you all the time!

Hold me, love me, hold me, love me.  
I ain't got nothin' but love girl,  
Eight days a week!

I heard this song when I was watching an episode of Scrubs of all things. Once I heard them perform a tiny piece of it, I looked it up and listened.

I was keeping the beat with my foot, putting some spring in my step as I sang and smiled. The guitar worked perfectly, sounded pretty good too.

Eight days a week  
I love you.  
Eight days a week  
Is not enough to show I care.

Love you ev'ry day girl,  
Always on my mind.  
One thing I can say girl,  
Love you all the time.

Hold me, love me, hold me, love me.  
I ain't got nothin' but love babe,  
Eight days a week,  
Eight days a week,  
Eight days a week!

After I finished, the audience clapped and cheered wildly. I smiled and waved as I walked behind stage.

"That song, it's pretty good. Didn't think you could sing." Hendrick said in mildly impressed.

"Well, you looked like you could play the guitar well." I said, not surprised at all.

"Alright, give a hand to our contestants!" An announcer said.

After everyone clapped, the announcer came back on, "Alright, we let the audience decide who was the winner. So the winner is…"

-DRUM ROLL-

_Who's gonna win I wonder?_ Michael said sarcastically.

"CONTESTANT #50! CONGRATULATIONS!"

_Oh what a suprise..._ He finished.

_Shut up._

The audience cheered in approval.

Hendrick smiled. "Well, I guess the people decided. Congrats. You lucky bastard." He held out his hand.

I shook it. He dropped his guitar and walked off. But before he did, he left me with these words. "Well, we will meet again Screaver. See ya around."

He turned a corner and disappeared from view.

I walked up on stage, with my new black case, and took my prize. It was a sack of berri, with the berri sign on the front.

I held it up and waved at the cheering people.

* * *

I walked away victorious. I lifted my bag up and smiled widely.

_I'm ¼ the way of paying off Nami._

"I'll take that." Someone said and took the money from my hand.

I was about to turn around and punch the guy until I saw that it wasn't a guy.

It was Nami. In a revealing dancer outfit.

My jaw dropped and a strange groan escaped my mouth.

It was a purple brassiere, showing _way_ too much cleavage. Her whole belly was showing. With golden arm bracelets, a ruffled skirt, and her orange hair all fastened with a golden pin of some sort...well, it's Nami!

"That was a nice song. But what's even nicer is that you won all these berri for me." She said greedily.

I was in a trance as I said, "_Yes. For you Nami dearest_."

Zoro hit me in the head to wake me up. "Honestly Screaver, you're worse than Sanji."

I shook my head as Nami was counting up her new cash.

"Well, now I owe you 150,000 berri instead of 200,000. So that's a start."

She nodded. "And with that, I think you've earned this."

She got in close and kissed me on the cheek.

I fell over with a goofy smile on my face.

Zoro pulled me back up and shook me out of my trance. "HOW CAN YOU LIKE THAT SHE-DEMON?"

I swat his hands away. "Insult Nami again and I'll bash you head in!"

He hit his head in anger and walked away grumbling.

"Where is Sanji? And Vivi and Chopper and the others?" I asked.

"Well, I'm right here." I heard Vivi say from behind me. I turned around and…heheheh…she was wearing a dancer's outfit as well.

Oh shut up! I'm just one man! I mean...Demon Weapon.

She frowned at my expression. "Cut that out! Sanji bought these for us."

"I could tell." I said, still looking downward.

She covered her chest and said, "Well, it was a good song at least. And stop looking down there!"

I got out of my trance again and shrugged.

"Sanji, Chopper, and Usopp are still goofing off in the market area. So be glad Sanji didn't see what Nami did to you there." She said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh…um…uh…wow is it hot out here." I said, looking at a random palm tree.

She was pouting. "Look Screaver, I know Nami is a good friend but…I didn't know that you two were…"

"We aren't! Well, she knows I…" I said, trailing off.

She looked at me. "And what am I to you?"

I was feeling really awkward. "Well Vivi you…you a…"

She uncovered her chest, moving closer to me.

"You…you…you…I don't know! It's complicated!" I yelped.

"How is it?" She questioned. She was getting impatient.

"Well I swore to protect Nami with my life to her dead mom and there was this old guy with a pinwheel who said he'd kill me and I confessed after killing a stingray man and…"

I was going on and on until I finally stopped.

"It sounds complicated." Vivi agreed.

I nodded in despair. She concluded, "Well, you know how I care about you. And I don't want to make you break any of your promises but…I'm always here for you, like you're always there for me. Ok?"

I nodded.

Nami came back up to us and yanked me away. "What are you two doing just standing there? We need to find Luffy!"

Vivi looked at me sympathetically, but Nami let me go as she went over to Zoro, who was cowering behind a giant pot.

I looked in the direction of where he was trying to hide from and I saw…

Oh shit!

…Captain Smoker, in his white cigar covered coat. He was with his little bitch of an assistant too, that annoying glasses girl.

They were talking about something and then he headed inside some restaurant.

"Hey guys, you go ahead and keep looking for Luffy. I know how to deal with that marine guy."

"You do?" Nami asked.

_Not at all._

"Yeah. Just go and get the others together. Get back to the meeting spot and get ready to run."

Just as I said that, Luffy slung shot into the restaurant.

-BAM- -CRASH-

"THAT WAS LUFFY!" Vivi shouted.

"I'll get him, just go!" I shouted as I ran towards the restaurant.


	57. Chapter 57

Escaping Eramalu

We Meet...ugh...Him

The others left as I walked slowly over to the restaurant. You know, so Luffy could get his food.

Just as I was about to go inside, Luffy dashed out, running into me.

-BAM-

"SCWEVR!" Luffy tried to say, but his mouth was full of food.

I heard the gruff marine commander shout, "STRAWHAT!"

"RUN!" I shouted as I fired a bazooka blast into the restaurant. We dashed off as the smoke guy ran after us.

We ran as fast as we could through countless people, with Smoker still hot on our trail.

He barked a few orders at Tashigi, who was conviently waiting right in front of us, and sliced at us.

I blocked with my bazooka and hit her in the arm. Luffy leaped onto my back and jumped to the roof tops.

"LUFFY! WE'LL SPIT UP! GET TO THE OTHERS! I'LL BE THERE SOON!" I shouted at him.

He nodded and sped off. Smoker turned his legs into smoke and followed Luffy, telling Tashigi to order the marines to find the others.

She was about to get back up before I stepped on her stomache.

"How do ya do Miss?" I said, showing an evil grin.

She gave me a disfusted look and tried to stab my foot. "You'll die you disgusting pirate!"

I leaped up and she jumped up to attack me. I deflected her blade and she ordered her grunts to look for the others.

"OH HELL NO!" I shouted and pushed her over, tackling the other marines. They were stunned as I ran off to find the others.

* * *

I almost made it to the hide out, just as Luffy was leading a whole squad of marines right to them.

"GET THE PIRATES!" They shouted.

More marines were on there way, three groups were coming from three directions.

We picked up all the stuff we could hold and cleared out as the marines shouted at us to give up.

Smoker also showed up ahead of his men.

"WHITE HAZE!"

He fired his fist at Luffy, but I launched a normal blast at it and it dissipated. He glared at me and shouted, "Surrender now Bazooka Bartel!"

"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YA CIGAR-PUFFING DOUCHEBAG?"

He fired more smoke blasts at me, but this time they were stopped by something else.

"HEAT HAZE!"

-WHOOSH-

A wall of flames stopped his smoke. After the flames cleared, all that was left was…ugh...Ace.

He was shirtless, tattoos all over, a orange hat and long black hair. He had the same wide grin that Luffy had.

"Is that you Ace?" Luffy shouted curiously.

He looked back at us and said, "You haven't changed a bit Luffy!"

"Did you eat a devil fruit?" Luffy asked.

"Yep, the Flame Flame fruit." Ace replied.

"Um I hate to interrupt but WE NEED TO GO!" I shouted.

"You go ahead, I'll catch up!"

We left Ace to fight off the Marines.

Everyone was questioning about who the guy was until Luffy shouted to us, "HE'S MY BIG BROTHER!"

Everyone said in shock, except me, "YOU'RE BROTHER?"

_And the plot thickens._ Michael said.

_Shut up Michael._

_

* * *

_

**I really have to apologise for this incredibly short chapter, there will be another one on the way very shortly, I promise.**


	58. Chapter 58

Entering the Desert

Mission: Save the Kingdom

As we ran through the town, we stopped to see a huge tornado of fire and smoke was forming.

Luffy was so awestruck by it, he was running backwards as we ran through the town. We were in such a rush, we didn't even notice that Luffy ran in the opposite direction that the rest of us ran.

It wasn't until we were all ready to sail that we realized that Luffy wasn't here.

Everyone curse at our bad luck. Nami suggested that we lay low until Luffy got back, but I had different plans in mind.

-KABOOM-

I fired a shot into the air.

"SCREAVER! YOU MORON!" Nami cursed.

"Luffy should get here sooner now!" I said innocently.

Sure enough, Luffy's arm stretched and grabbed the side of the ship. He was about to sling shot right into us before I caught him with one hand.

I held him up and said, "Found him!"

Luffy got up and everyone began to curse at him for being so stupid.

"Oh, that's right! Where's Ace?" Luffy asked.

We didn't know, but Luffy said that Ace was strong and would be ok. When we asked how strong, he said that he was never able to beat Ace back when they were kids.

"I guess the brother of a monster is an even bigger monster." Usopp concluded.

Luffy rested his elbows on the railing and gloatingly said, "But I bet now I could kick his big but! HAHAHAHAH!"

Just as he said that, Ace hopped out of nowhere shouting, "So…EXACTLY WHO'S BUT IS GETTING KICKED?"

He landed on the railing, almost landed on Luffy. He was hunched over as he greeted us.

"Oh hey Ace! This is my crew I was telling you about!"

"Nice to meet you!" He said cheerfully. "Thanks for taking care of my kid brother! I know he's a handful!"

Everyone but me said at once, "Oh no, not at all!"

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU GUY'S KIDDING?" I shouted in disbelief.

Ace smiled and said, "Oh come on, be honest! This is Luffy were talking about! Isn't he a bit much for you?"

Everyone once again said respectfully, "Not at all."

I once again shouted, "WHO THE FUCK YOU GUY'S KIDDING?"

Ace laughed. "Well, you seem like good people. Most of you anyway." He eyed me.

I frowned and said, "Bunch of ass kissing sellouts."

-BAM-

Nami hit me in the head.

"Good answer." I said weakly, rubbing my head.

Ace laughed even more. Sanji said to him, "Well sit down and relax. I'm sure you two have a lot of catching up to do. I'll make some tea."

Ace was very polite and said he didn't want to impose.

Nami wanted me to act politely to him and pushed me forward.

I unwillingly said the rehearsed line, "I insist…we…want you…OH I CAN'T DO IT!"

-BAM-

"I insist. We wan you to stay." I said, rubbing the giant whelp forming on the back of my head.

He laughed again and said, "No really, it's ok."

Everyone was dumbfounded by Luffy's brother. He was polite, caring, and selfless. Polar opposite of Luffy.

"So what if he's polite? Big deal." I said.

-BAM-

"KNOCK IT OFF!"

Just as we were about to leave, five Baroque Works ships pulled out and formed a blockade.

"Just great, I got this." I said and equipped my bazooka.

"No, allow me." Ace said and leaped off the boat.

We looked down and saw that he had tied his small ship to ours. He turned his feat into fire and his ship sped off to the enemy ships.

Before he met them, he leaped off his tiny ship as it submerged and he flew over all five ships.

"FIRE FIST!"

A huge wall of fire obliterated the five ships in mere seconds. Nothing but flaming wreckage remained.

"Pffff…Big deal." Is said, disarming my bazooka.

* * *

He came back and everyone was "YAY ACE" and "CHEER FIRE FIST."

I was sitting in the corner being angry.

Ok ok, another personal confession: I don't care for Ace. May God strike me down for saying this…I think Ace is...stupid.

-ZAP-

No no but really, I don't car for Ace. He's like one of the most favored character in One Piece but I don't give a shit about him. All the fangirls will be like, "AAAAAHH ACE! HE'S SO SMEXY!" And I'll be like, "BITCH CALM THE FUCK DOWN!"

And then they would attack me and forced me to resent Ace.

Not a story you will ever hear about.

Bottom line, I don't care for Ace. Yeah I know I promised to save him but that doesn't mean I like the guy. I just wouldn't let him die because Luffy becomes all emo when Ace croaks, so what? I don't even know if he gets over his brother's death.

"I get the feeling you don't like me very much." Ace said to me.

"Well you haven't done much to make me do so. So far you took two fights away from me, and I haven't been very appreciate of that." I said, gritting my teeth.

"My apologies." He said and bowed humbly.

"Will you stop being so polite?" I said rather annoyed.

"Can't do that I'm afraid." Ace said and chuckled slightly.

I got up and went to get a drink.

Ace told us about how he was after a man named Blackbeard, and that he was spotted in Yuba. When we told him we were heading towards that place, he asked if he could join us.

We agreed, and all clanked our glasses together.

Luffy, Usopp, Sanji, Vivi, and…ugh…Ace were inside the ship while the rest of us were outside doing our normal thing.

Zoro was swinging a giant weight around, Nami was looking to the horizion and mapping our course, Chopper was lying down, and I was strumming my new guitar.

It was a nice guitar and sounded like a electric guitar without using an amp. LIke it was build in the front of the guitar or something.

"Where did you get that?" Nami asked me.

"It was a bonus prize, and seeing as how my old one broke I was happy to take it."

"Hey Screaver!" Sanji shouted through the doorway. "I need you to help clean the mess Luffy and Usopp made with all the mop water!"

I put the guitar back in its case and went inside.

When I saw what they did, I was really angry. "WHY WOULD YOU WASH DISHES WITH MOP WATER? HOW COULD YOU BREAK THEM TOO? ARE YOU RETARDED! Oh wait, yeah you are!"

I was grumbling as I got all the broken and dirty plates back out and cleaned the ones that were still in tact. Sanji helped as well and went back to preparing all our food.

* * *

The ship stopped. I looked outside and saw Vivi was giving something to Carue, a letter I believe. Everyone was saying good bye to the duck as he sped off into the desert.

_Man, I didn't know ducks were the relatives of the road runners! Now all Carue needs to do is go MEEP MEEP!_

Well, everyone got back on board and we sailed off.

We sailed around for a another hour until we reached our destination. Nami and Vivi had changed out of there sexy dancer clothes and put on long coats instead.

Sanji took it hard, rolling on the floor and crying like an idiot.

I yanked him back up and said, "Now's not the time to be crying Perv. We got a kingdom to save!"

"DON'T CALL ME PERV, SHITHEAD!" He shouted back.

"YUBA, HERE WE COME!" Luffy cheered. He was also in a desert outfit. A red coat and a scarf tying down his straw hat.

I slung over my bazooka. I was also carrying a knapsack with special high energy snacks just in case I suffered from hypoglycemia.

How nice of Sanji. Shame I had to ruin it by calling him a perv.

Who am I kidding? He deserved it! It's not like I ever do anything like that! I'm a good little Catholic boy!

Hehehe...forget it.

I looked over the side of the ship. Zoro was about to drop anchor when a bunch of weird, shrieking animals came out of the water.

They looked like brown seals, but they had turtle shells on there heads and back. They were holding a balled up fin and were cheering or something.

"Turtles?" Zoro guessed.

"Maybe they're seals." Luffy guessed.

"Kung-Fu Dugongs!" Vivi said in terror.

One of them shouted something to us. Thankfully Chopper translated, "_If you want to come a shore, you have to beat me. But I doubt it'll happen, you bunch of cowards!_ He says."

Usopp stepped forward and said with a grin on his face, "No one calls me a coward and gets away with it!"

"But I call you one everyday AND get away with it." I reminded him.

He ignored me and leaped off to challenge the little creatures.

Three seconds later he was beaten to a pulp.

"Of course." I said, hitting my head in frustration.

Two seconds later, Luffy beat one of them and cried in victory, "SEE? THEY AREN'T SO TOUGH!"

"That's bad to!" Vivi complained.

The fallen dugong got back up and bowed to Luffy. He looked up at Luffy with big eyes.

"It's one of their rules." Vivi explained. "If they loose a kung fu match they become the winners pupil."

"But that wasn't kung fu!" I said. "He just hit it in the head!"

"It still counts." Vivi said.

They all swarmed Luffy and were purring like weird cats.

Vivi was shouting at him, "THEY THINK YOU'RE THEIR MASTER NOW!"

Luffy began instructing them on proper punching stances and such.

"Idiot." I quietly cursed.

Hey ordered them in a line and ordered, "Alright! Let's go to Yuba!"

I just closed my eyes and waited for the madness to be over already.

Everyone told him they couldn't go, Chopper gave them food so they would stay, and we disembarked and headed straight into the desert.

_Well that was over in a flash._

* * *

We walked through the sand. Everyone else was still complaining and scolding Luffy for causing us so much unnecessary trouble.

"He's quite a handful." Was all Ace could say.

"That is the understatement of the millennia." I said frustrated. "But he's a good guy, I guess."

Vivi stopped at the top of a dune. We all looked and saw a ghost town.

The buildings had been buried in sand, the trees were all dead, everything was crumbling and reeked with the stench of death.

"This is Eramalu." Vivi said in disbelief.

"The city of green?" I guessed.

"It should be." Vivi said, emotionless. "Take a good look around everyone. This is what Baroque Works has been doing to my country. The people of Arabasta…" She was beginning to sound very upset, "…this is what they've had to go through."

We all looked at her in silence.

We made our way through the dead city as Vivi explained how this place was a fertile and lush city a few years ago.

"A lot can change in a few years." I guessed, stepping over a fallen dried up palm tree.

Vivi explained about how no rain fell anywhere in the country for three years, except for the capital.

Everyone thought it was just a miracle, until large shipments of Dance Powder were found in the castle.

Nami then explained about how Dance Powder worked; you burn it, smoke gets into clouds, makes a lot of rain. But if one town gets all the rain, there's no rain for the next town.

Luffy said he knew what the stuff was, called it mystery powder, and that he saw it work when he was wandering around when we first go here.

When Luffy blurted out that Vivi's dad was the bad guy, Sanji rapidly kicked him in the head telling him he was wrong.

Vivi confirmed this.

"So Baroque Works framed the king and made him look like he stole all the rain. Perfect way to start a coo in a desert kingdom." I concluded.

Vivi nodded.

"With no water, fighting started to break out." She continued.

I didn't pay much attention to what she was saying, but she looked so heart broken as she spoke to us.

Soon after a strong gust blew through the city, and loud moaning sounds formed.

Everyone was freaking out and thought it was enemies wailing, but Ace told us it was just wind bouncing off the buildings.

"It's like, the city of Eramalu is wailing." Vivi said frightened.

A huge dust tornado surrounded us and we all screamed with fear.

Soon after, it subsided.

Luffy said he saw a person collapsed father up ahead. Him and Vivi rushed over until they realized it was just a skeleton.

"What…what did my father…" Vivi said, on the verge of tears, "and all the other good people. What did they do to deserve this?"

She was crying and cursing Crocodile, holding her head in grief.

Luffy was just so mad that he could punch a building into a pile of rubble.

So he did just that.

-BAM-

-CRASH-

The giant building in front of us gave way and completely collapsed.

He came back from the broken building as we were giving the man a burial.

"Screaver, can't you do something?" Zoro asked me.

"What could I do?" I asked innocently.

He hit his head in frustration. "Well, you deal with souls and such! You figure it out!"

I didn't know, but I helped Ace was we buried the skeleton and I said a blessing.

I remember a little from my time in catholic church.

"Rest easy."

Vivi marked the grave with a stick and Luffy came up to us cracking his arm.

"Vivi." He said. "Let's get going, alright?"

She nodded. I got up and shouted, "It's time to kick some Croc!"

* * *

**Trust me, you will hear the terrible story of Screaver's scarring into disliking Ace.**


	59. Chapter 59

Beginning Our Treck In the Desert

Thieving Birds, Giant Lizards, and Perverted Camels...Oh My?

We had only been walking for an hour and Luffy was already complaining.

"UUUUUUUUUUGHHH! EEEEEUUGHHH! I'm burning up! I don't think I can sweat anymore!"

Once again, temperature doesn't affect me; in fact I perfer the heat over the cold.

"How about you put your tongue back in your mouth so you don't get thirsty." I suggested.

Chopper was passed out. Poor guy is made for extreme cold, not extreme heat. Zoro was dragging him on a little sled through the sand.

Usopp was arguing with Chopper for no reason, then Chopper scared him by going into his huge human form and threatening to beat him up. But Zoro broke it up soon afterwords.

I was just fine by the way.

"Hey Screaver." Usopp said, taking a deep breath. "How can you be ok with this heat?"

I was looking up at the sky.

"Hey Usopp, have you ever noticed how the sky looks so...blue?"

"Umm..." He looked at me awkwardly. "I take it back."

While we walked Vivi gave us some fun facts about the desert, like that all these sand dunes we were walking on could be up to 900 ft or more.

You know, fun facts! A shame she can't remember those _needy_ facts, like what the people that are trying to kill us look like.

_Jesus it's hot; and I'm ok with that._

Ace never said anything, he just watched us as we walked, and complained, and goofed around.

_Smart move Hotshot_.

At one point Luffy, Nami, Sanji, and Usopp got in a fight over who's turn was it to drink, so I stepped in and snatched it away.

ENOUGH BITCHING! IT'S PISSING ME OFF!" I roared at them.

They all looked at me in surprise as I took charge.

"I'll hold the water until you all learn to take turns, for God's sake!"

Nami got up really close and turned her charm on. "Oh come on Screaver, pretty please?"

She fluttered her eyes and smiled cutely.

"Not gonna work." I said, crushing her spirits.

* * *

Daytime turned into nighttime, and at the same time, it became freezing cold.

We set up our tents, Ace got a fire going (no shit, really?), and we all huddled around the fire as Sanji was preparing dinner.

Luffy kept complaining about being hungry and kept trying to eat it raw.

It was almost as cold as it was on Drum Island, but not to bad.

Vivi kept explaining everything, something about clouds and insulation and blah blah blah I was just looking up at the pretty stars.

Soon Luffy and Usopp began huddling and cuddling Chopper like a big stuffed animal, kinda weird of you ask me.

But hey, not my thing.

Nothing happened of importance that night. We ate, we slept. I slept outside since the girls had the tents to keep them warm.

No surprise there.

Nami also gave me a warning that If I woke them up with my singing, I would have to pay her double.

No love for the talented delinquent.

* * *

When everyone fell asleep, I walked a little ways away so I could sing a little. It helps me relax.

_Something seemed off about that Kendrick guy._ Michael asked.

_Was he an anomaly?_

_It's possible. _He concluded.

I looked up at the sky. It really seemed off to me. It was filled with bright stars, but they seemed dull. Not like on the ocean where they were shinning brightly.

_It's not just you, I feel it too._ Michaels said.

_It feels like...I don't know._

_To me it feels like there's something above us, but it's on a different plain of existance. I don't know. What I can tell is that it's not suppose to be there, and it's not good._ He elaborated.

"The stars seem nice tonight." Someone said behind me.

I looked around, hoped it was Nami, but it was…in fact…ugh…Ace.

"What do you want?" I said in a rude manner.

"'Well you were wandering away from the group." He explained. "So I just wondered what you were doing."

"Well whatever I'm doing, it's really none of your business." I said.

Well sorry to interrupt!" He apologized.

_God this guy is a douche._

"Is there some rational reason why you hate me so much?" He asked.

"Irrational actually." I corrected him.

"Do tell." He said.

"Can't." I refused.

"Why not?" He asked again.

I though for a moment about a good lie. "None of your damn buisness."

He frowned.

"Told you I couldn't explain." I said.

He smiled. "I think I get this now. You're just jealous."

I was going to hit him in his stupid face, but instead shouted, "YOU ARE SO FULL OF SHIT!"

He laughed. "Relax, relax! Just teasing!" He joked.

"You aren't helping me like you at all." I growled.

"So? I don't need you to like me. I just don't want you to hate me." He concluded.

"Good, let's keep it that way." I said, giving a fake smile.

"It's almost morning, you should get some rest." He said.

"Gladly."

_I know you hate him, but try and ease up Screaver._ Michael warned me.

_You know why I disliked him in the first place. Now I'm annoyed with him. Smug, cocky, polite jerk. Thinking he can just waltz into our..._

_ENOUGH! Jeez Screaver, you really are irrational._ He complained.

* * *

We got back in time just as a huge sandstorm was about to hit us.

"Looks like the wind is picking up." Ace said gleefully.

"No shit Sherlock. Did those tornadoes up ahead clue you in?" I asked.

Four, no, five huge gusts of sand and wind were picking up and heading straight for us.

Vivi was shrieking, "EVERYONE! HIDE BEHIND THE ROCKS QUICK!"

"How come?" Luffy asked stupidly.

"DON'T QUESTION THE LADY AND DO IT!" I shouted, making him move.

In a matter of seconds we were covered in a thick tidle wave of sand.

Vivi also mentioned how sandstorms were another hazard in the desert.

"START REMEMBERING US ABOUT THIS STUFF NEXT…"

-WHOOOOOOOOOSH-

* * *

I broke out of my tomb of sand and saw it was already sunny out. Everyone else was still lying down in the sand.

I immediately went over to Nami who was still asleep, partially covered by the sand.

I tried to wake her up. When she opened her eyes she freaked out and started yelling, "What are you doing in my tent? Eroboy!"

She started hitting me away as she saw what happened.

"What happened?" She asked.

"Sandstorm." I said.

Everyone else began to wake up and brush the sand off our supplies. We packed up what was left and continued on.

Luffy was asking Vivi if we could eat, again, which lead him to telling her the old proverb, "Make sure to eat whenever you are hungry."

"Cut the shit Luffy and shut your mouth." I said.

"Ok, if you're that hungry," Vivi said, "I'll tell you what. Why don't we stop and eat at the next group of rocks we come to."

Luffy's spirits were picked up and cheered, "On words, to the next group of rocks!"

He then said, "K guys, whoever wins at rock paper scissors has to carry everybody's stuff!"

We played and Luffy won. We all loaded Luffy with all our bags.

_Wait…birds…_

"Umm on second thought, I'll carry all the stuff!" I shouted.

Everyone looked at me and was confused. Luffy jumped at the chance and dropped everything, running on ahead.

"Why would you do that?" Usopp shouted.

"Birds, something that has to do with birds." I replied and picked up the sled that had everyone's bags on it.

I kept up with the group, I even sweated for the first time since we got there.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Sanji asked.

"Yeah, I just don't trust Luffy to keep everything ok." I said.

He agreed and went up ahead.

* * *

It was Luffy far up ahead, followed by Nami and Usopp and Chopper, then Sanji and Vivi, with Zoro behind them, and me far in the back.

Not that I was tired, I just couldn't run up ahead like the rest of them.

But I got sick of carrying all this, and when Usopp shouted that he found a huge group of rocks, I instinctively shouted, "SHAAAAAAAAAADE!"

-WHOOSH-

I sped up past all of them, without having to use my flash step!

I made it to the rocks in no time. I took off everything and sat down in the nice cool shade.

-SQUAWK-

I heard a group of dying squawks up ahead. I turned the corner and saw a group of dirty, sickly, skinny white birds lying unconscious on the ground.

I formed my gun.

"Hey birds." I said.

They all opened one eye and looked at me.

"You have about three seconds before I turn you into roasted chicken. GET THE FUCK OUT!"

-KABOOM-

Their facade disappeared and they flew away with terrified looks.

I kept shooting at them as they flew over the other guys.

"GET THE FUCK OUT! YEAH BOY!"

"Hey! What are you doing to those birds?" Luffy asked.

Those aren't regular birds." Vivi said.

She told us about how those birds like to play dead and then rob people blind.

"Wait…LUFFY! ONE OF THOSE BIRDS TOOK A PIECE OF MEAT AND FLEW OFF IN THAT DIRECTION!" I shouted and pointed behind me.

"WHAT? I'LL GET THAT BIRD!" Luffy roared and ran off.

Zoro complained, "What was that for?"

"Wait for it." I said, still looking at where Luffy was.

"What are you…"

"Wait for it."

-BOOM- -BOOM-

Luffy came back about ten minutes later, on a camel, being chased by something under the sand.

_Under the sand, badadadah. Under the sand, badadadah. Down where it's drier, tongue's are on fire, take it from meeeee!_

I really have issues that I need to work out.

The sand cleared and revealed a GIANT MOTHERFUCKING PURPLE LIZARD!

"It's a Sandora Dragon!" Vivi said in terror.

"I got to admit," Ace said calmly, "that boy sure does got a talent for attracting trouble."

"Yeah, and we got the scars on our backs to prove it!" Sanji said in annoyance.

"What kind of crap star was he born under to attract trouble like that?" Zoro said in disbelief.

"He's like a lightning rod to danger, and ironically made of rubber." I grumbled.

Sanji, Zoro, and I dashed towards the giant beast as Luffy was gripping on the camel.

"Is it to much for you Luffy?" Zoro shouted.

"We'll lend a hand!" Sanji shouted.

"Got nothing better to do!" I shouted.

"THANKS GUYS!" Luffy shouted. "I BROUGHT A LITTLE SOMETHING OVER FOR DINNER!"

He leaped off the camel and turned while the two of them jumped.

"GUM GUM…"

"TATSU…"

"EPAUL…"

"BAZOOKA..."

We readied our attacks and connected with the beast.

"WHIP!"

"MAKI!"

SHOOT!"

"UPPERCUT!"

-BAM-

-SLICE-

-BOOM-

-KABOOM-

As our attacks deformed the giant beast's head, it groaned until it fell over dead.

"All in a day's work." I said.

-BOOM-

Just then, another giant purple lizard popped out of the ground and roared at the others.

"I must have forgotten to mention that Sandora Dragons always hunt in pairs!" Vivi stupidly shouted.

Ace got up and said something to the beast, just as he got eaten by it.

-CHOMP-

_Hooray._

-BWUUUUUSH-

Flames erupted out of the giant beast's maw and it fell to the ground burnt to a crisp, with Ace casually walking out.

_It's never that easy._

Sanji got to preparing the giant lizards and cooking them using giant desert rocks. It was huge cubes of mutton, on sticks instead of bones.

Tasty!

He was able to use a few things that he took form all out supplies that we still had which made the whole meal even tastier.

"So now that we have a moment," Zoro said, "what's the deal with the camel?"

Luffy said that he found him almost getting eaten by some mystery plants he found.

When Chopper got a closer look at the camel he recognized it. He and the camel apparently met back in that first town we were in, Kateria I believe.

The fact that he had a saddle and could carry two people made us all very happy. But when Luffy tried to board the camel, it bit his head in refusal.

Chopper translated, "_I'm afraid I'm a hard but compassionate son of the desert. I'm very grateful of you having helped me out that jam back there. And I'll be glad to give some of you a ride. But I'm afraid I don't accept male passengers."_

With that Luffy, Usopp, Sanji, and ME began beating the camel up and cursing at him.

We let him say one more thing, and Chopper translated, "_I'm too macho._"

We then continued to beat him up.

After we let him lick his wounds, Nami went over to it and smoothly said while rubbing it's face, "I'm so sorry that my crew are a bunch of ill bred louts. Now, what shall we call you, brave and precious camel you?"

"Idiot." Luffy said.

"Moron." Sanji suggested.

"Duffus." Usopp guessed.

"Girl-Stealing-Cock-Sucker." I said.

_Luckiest-bastard-in-the-desert?_ Michael suggested.

_NO ONE ASKED YOU!_

"Eyelash it is then." Nami said cheerfully as she boarded the camel and rode over to Vivi.

"At least carry some of the stuff please?" I said apologetically.

"But you said you would carry it." Nami reminded me.

"I meant I don't want Luffy to carry it!" I said.

"Fine fine." Nami said.

As Vivi got on, everybody else started chanting, "Pervert camel. PERVERT CAMEL. Pervert camel!"

"Gudde-up Eyelash!" Nami shouted and the camel rushed forward.

We got all our stuff and shouted, "HEY! WAIT FOR US!"

"Hurry up guys! If you get separated you'll never leave this desert alive!" Nami shouted cheerfully.

_Oh that's pleasant._


	60. Chapter 60

Encounter The Sand Pirates

Another Funny Coincidence

We spent several hours looking for that camel, but he didn't turn up. Luffy was complaining, Chopper wasn't going to last much longer, and Sanji kept shouting out, "NAMI! WHERE ARE YOU MY LOVE? I LOVE YOU EVEN WHEN YOU ABANDON ME!"

The heat was getting to me. I finally turned around and shouted, "IF I HEAR YOU SAY YOU LOVE NAMI ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK THAT JAW OF YOURS!"

"SHUT UP SCREAVER!" He replied. "YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR MOUTH YA LOUSY SHITHEAD!"

"COCKSUCKER!"

"BITCH!"

"MOTHERFUCKER!"

"_BOY!"_

"**RAAAAAAAAARGH!**"

We went tumbling wrestling in the sand as Zoro and Usopp tried to break us up.

I got back up and stared at th sky. My brain felt like it was sizling inside my skull. I think I was delerious.

"IT'S A GIANT…MUSHROOM!"

Everyone else looked at where I was pointing but there was nothing.

I began waving my arms up and down chanting, "FRIENDLY MUSHROOM! FRIENDLY WENLDY WIDDLE LITTLE MUSHROOM!"

"Snap out of it Screaver!" Usopp shouted.

Soon Luffy began screaming something about a tsunami and was going crazy. Usopp told us he ate some weird cactus.

Chopper freaked out and told us he ate a cactus that was used to made hallucinogenic drugs!

Luffy would have beaten us if Chopper hadn't knocked him out with some doctor's drug.

* * *

More time passed by. We also realized that Ace had wandered away and we couldn't find him.

I didn't care.

When Luffy woke up we began beating him in frustration for his ignorance.

Then we all took a sip of water from our canteens. Thanks to me.

"Hey guys, you hear that?" Usopp said and began to climb one of the dunes.

We followed him and we felt rumbling. Something was moving through the sand.

Behind one of the dunes, a pirate ship emerged.

A prate ship. On the sand. And it was sailing.

_WOOOOWIE!_

"Hey guys, they have Nami and Vivi captured!" Usopp informed us.

That got me moving. In a fury of blind rage I ran straight toward the ship.

"**GUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!**"

I leaped from the ground using my bazooka jump and punched the first thing I made contact with.

The pirate ship's mast.

-KABOOM-

I landed on the ship yelling like a madman. Then I was blubbering and mumbling something about mushrooms and cheese whiz and sat down.

"Um, a little help? He's going to eat Eyelash!" I heard Nami say, partially annoyed.

She and Vivi were tied to the very bottom of the broken mast.

"You think I care bout that stupid camel?"

I turned around and saw a huge man tower over me. He had a long black beard and was a circle of a man in stature. What really disturbed me was the little umbrella on top of his head that popped open.

Weird but hey…not…my…thing.

He was giving a huge, toothy smile. "We the Barbar Pirates have a saying!" He announced. "With the exception of friends, there is nothing in this desert that can't be eaten!"

"But what would you do if their was no food on this ship but only a few people you never met before? Would you eat them?" I asked.

He thought for a moment and chuckled. "I suppose we couldn't! We aren't cannibals after all!"

I laughed as well. "Ok then. WHO WANTS CAMEL STEW?"

"**MEEEEEE!**" The other's cheered.

-BAM-

Nami kicked me in the head. "NO ONE IS EATING MY CAMEL!"

* * *

Everyone else boarded the ship and he introduced himself. His name was Barberosa, captain of the Barbar Pirates. He apologized for tying up Nami and Vivi, and the camel. I still suggested eating the damn thing, but Nami's fists and feet said otherwise.

The crew were all wearing umbrellas on their heads, all different sizes and shapes and colors. Really freaked me out.

Also, I apparently destroyed their mast belong help and they had no repair lumber. So they began to cry and freak out about being stranded. But a few words from their captain cheered them up as he said, "We sand pirates are born on our ships, and we'll die here as well!"

They began cheering, and we began feeling awkward.

The captain said that their was timber at some oasis a few miles away form here.

"Let me go and get it. It's my fault that you're stuck after all." I volunteered.

"Bad idea," he said, "The sands have changed lately. It would be to dangerous for an outsider."

"I'm going to help you, whether you want like it or not." I said in a threatening tone.

He laughed. "I like you're spunk kid! Very well!"

"Don't call me kid!"

* * *

We went down and they lowered down a weird looking contraption. It was like a canoe, but it had a sail inside and a little floater on the side.

"You can use this sand sledder to haul all the lumber. Zaba and Rasa will show you the oasis." Barberosa said.

One guy came down and did a casual salute to me. That guy was Zaba. I couldn't see whoever was Rasa though.

"These sleds carry two, who will you take?" He asked.

"Well, I don't know how to use this thing. Um…Vivi?" I said quietly, making sure they couldn't hear her name.

She was looking at the sled fondly.

Before anything else happened, a weird shaped knife was spiraling towards Vivi. I instinctively jumped in thee way and caught it. Anger rose to my face.

Someone jumped from the ship. I yelled, "WHO THE FUCK?"

The person landed behind us. I turned around, ready to deck the bastard.

It was a girl.

A girl with blue hair.

A girl with blue hair and perky tits.

_CURSE MY FETISH FOR UNNATURAL HAIR!_

She…uh…she…well what can I say? dark blue hair, thin pink shirt, red pants and a pink umbrella that held up her hair.

In other words…hawt.

I loosened my gaze a little, I was still pissed. "Why in the world would you throw a knife at her?"

She looked uninterested in me and said, "Must have slipped."

_YOU ARE CRUSING FOR A BRUISING YOU BITCH!_

The girl taunted Vivi for a little while and Vivi agreed to come with me.

Vivi and I got on the sled. She wrapped the ropes around her waist. I said, "I don't trust that chick. You sure you want to go?"

She smiled at me and said, "No worries. I know a lot about these sleds. I use to have one as a kid. Besides, I would rather spend as much time with you as possible."

And on that thought, she yanked the ropes and we shot off into the distance.

* * *

It was like…riding a really fast jet ski, on the sand. Wind blew in our faces as we sped through the desert.

After a while, the other group came by, a little too quickly.

Their ship knocked a bunch of sand into our boat. Then it rammed into us and we were sent falling down a steep pit.

"HEY!"

We were sinking downward. Vivi tugged at the ropes as she said in terror, "It's quicksand! If we sink to far we'll never get out!"

That got me moving. I did something really stupid and jumped into the sand.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Vivi asked in fear.

I thought if I moved fast enough I would be done before the sand got to deep.

It had only sunken down to my knees once I picked up the whole ship. Vivi gripped the side as she looked down at me.

"I'LL BE DAMNED IF I GET DONE IN BY A FUCKING CAT BOX!"

I formed both my leg guns.

"BAZOOKA STEP!"

-KABOOM-

The sand exploded as we were sent out of the pit of sand. We flew high in the air and just so happened to pass over the group of Rasa and Zaba's ship. They were looking up at us in complete disbelief.

The ship was right on my left shoulder as I held it with one arm. With the other arm, I flicked off the other group.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAH!"

Just as we were about to land, I pulled myself up to the ship as it hit the ground with a thud. Vivi got back up and adjusted the sails.

"Screaver." She said in exasperation. She turned to me and smiled. "You are one _unbelievable_ guy."

I smiled and turned around. I was ready to shoot them down, but Vivi told me not to.

I had to oblige.

* * *

We made it to an abandoned city. The woman let us to a giant warehouse and opened the doors.

Vivi told me that she visited this place once when she was very young. In fact this was the place that gave her the sand sled she had in the first place.

"Weird how little coincidences work like that huh?" I said mildly annoyed.

"I've waited all this time…" Rasa said. She was looking out at the desert, gripping some broken stone doorway.

She said that apparently that SHE lived in this oasis a long time ago, and was there when Vivi visited. She said how the king promised the village that if something bad happened that he would come and help the people. But when the drought came, no one came to their rescue. Everyone had abandoned the town, except her.

Vivi tried to justify this, because the king was busy doing the exact same thing with all the other cities as well, but she just shouted, "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR EXCUSES! FOR YEARS I WAITED FOR YOU ALONE IN A TRACKLESS DESERT!"

She said she stayed her for so long she forgot about why she was staying in a dead city. She began to cry as well.

"Hey girl, tell me, are you a queen?" I said.

She was looking at me with anger. "I don't have to deal with you…"

"ANSWER THE QUESTION!" I shouted louder than her.

She recoiled and said, "No, I'm not."

"Do you know what it's like to run a whole country having to deal with every city who were facing with problems like, or worse, than yours?"

She was biting her lip. "No. But that doesn't…"

"BUT NOTHING! The king had many cities to take care of. Your city was overlooked, and that sucks! But sitting around waiting for some guy to roll in and fix all you problems is BULL SHIT! Waiting here for years instead of trying to…oh I don't know…go to the king himself and remind him of your promise, is your own fucking fault! Quit blaming the king, and quit blaming Vivi!"

"HOW COULD YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'VE BEEN THOUGH!" She yelled at me.

"Ugh, I give up." I held up my arms in surrender and turned around. Vivi was also crying.

"Not you too." I said quietly.

"I'm…I'm…I'm sorry, for making you wait so long." Vivi said through her tears.

I looked back to the other girl and said, "Hey, listen."

She turned back around.

"You don't have to worry anymore. Vivi is here now. And so am I. And me and my crew are gonna save this country."

She shook her head. "How can you possibly do that?"

"I don't know."

She was silent as I smiled. "But I'm gonna do it anyway. I'm Screaver D. Bartel, the man who does the impossible. And my captain is Monkey D. Luffy, the man who's gonna be king of the pirates. So you have nothing to worry about."

She wiped her tears away and gave a small smile. "You seem like a idiot."

* * *

Several hours later we made it back to the pirate ship, towing a large pile of wood to the ship.

The captain greeted us and thanked us for our actions, but Rasa left without saying anything,

Sanji swooned over Vivi a little as Luffy and Usopp asked me what happened.

I lied a little, as I always do.


	61. Chapter 61

Fake Soldiers In The Desert

The Story Of Kohza

The pirates got their mast repaired in no time and sailed us around for a little while.

When they dropped anchor, the captain told us, "Up ahead you'll find a city called Edo. You should restock on supplies there without much difficulty."

Luffy and the big guy shared some conversation and laughed as the rest of us got off the ship. As we walked away, the crew cheered and shouted pleasant goodbyes as we waved back.

I even caught a glimpse of that one girl waving goodbye at us. I waved back.

* * *

Before we got to the village, who would show up but…ugh…Ace. He was ridding on a giant purple lizard that was pulling a giant sleigh of food and water.

Everyone praised him…except for me.

When Vivi asked him how he got the food and water, he told us that the village was occupied by rebel soldiers.

No…_fake_ rebel soldiers. Scoundrels that say they're rebels just so they get free food and water. But since the very name of rebel soldiers will cause all bandits to turn tail, no one attacks the village.

Vivi was wondering what to do with the soldiers, but Sanji was suggesting we beat them up. Ace said we should probably let them alone so we could get going and so the villagers may remain in peace.

Vivi said she was ok with them, only if they pass her _test_.

"You want us to find out…if these bandits have hearts of gold?" Ace asked humorously.

* * *

Vivi told us all her plan, though she told it multiple times just for Luffy to get it.

We surrounded the entrance of the city. Usopp and Sanji had the left side, Zoro and Chopper in his big form took the right, and Luffy and I were in the south end. We circled the gate so that the fake rebels wouldn't be able to runaway even if they tried.

The gate flew open and four frightened people came out.

One was a skinny blond dude wearing leather armor and had a rifle with him. Another was a taller skinny dude, with short brown hair and a umpire-like armor on with a sword and a diamond on his forehead. Another was a small, frog-like guy with boxing gloves…

_BOXING!_

_Get it together!_ Michael calmed me.

Right. And the last guy was a huge dude in a geisha robe and had geisha hair style.

Like I said, they were all frightened and looking for an exit, but we had every route blocked.

From behind the gate, I head a man shout, "Get them! Get them! Oh invincible rebel soldiers!"

Luffy was speaking in his tough voice, "What's that? You're a rebel soldier?"

The blond guy freaked out and tried to lie, "No no! Nothing of the sort! We're just simple passengers passing through…"

"NOW SAY YOUR PRAYERS! YOU DASTERLY SEA PIRATES ARE DEAD!" A short fat man shouted from on top of a building. He continued insulting us until the _rebels_ told him to shut up.

Soon others began showing up and shouted at us. I was tempted to fire my bazooka at them but I had to wait for Vivi's sake.

They spent a few minutes mumbling something, until the blond guy stood forward and announced, "IF IT'S A FIGHT YOU WANT THAN CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED! BECAUSE WE AREN'T THE ONLY REBEL SOLDIERS AROUND HERE! IN THE VILLAGE THERE ARE…A 100,000,000 MORE LIKE UUUUUUUUS!"

Absolutely no one, not us not the townspeople not even his own men, believed that.

Well, except for Luffy.

"100,000,000?" Luffy screamed in fear, eyes bugging out.

"CAN'T YOU TELL A LIE WHEN YOU HEAR ONE?" Usopp and Sanji informed him.

"Wait…it's a lie?" He asked stupidly.

"No shit, Sherlock!" I told him.

His expression changed into anger. "FAKER! HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME!"

The other guys began to sweat as Luffy pulled back his fist.

"GUM GUM PISTOL!"

-BAM-

His rubber fist stretched and sent the blond guy flying back into the town.

"He must have devil fruit powers!" The town people concluded.

Luffy had a strange look of glee on his face as he walked towards the other rebel fakes. Luffy was about to grab one of them when…the blond guy appeared and grabbed his fist.

Weird, I didn't even see him coming.

"It's true," He said as blood ran down from his nose, "we aren't rebel soldiers. We lied. All we ever wanted was to be strong like our childhood heroes, but now were just a bunch of scoundrels."

He was breathing heavily. He wasn't cowering anymore. He looked…determined.

"Even if my hopes never become reality, those dreams we had as kids will never die. Today I stop running and face my fear. I may be no match for you, but I'm willing to give it my best shot. My defeat will inspire these children to grow up and fight! I'd rather die as a hero who taught the youth of this miserable world to stand up and rage against scum like you than to be remembered as a lying coward who ran away!"

-BAM-

He hit Luffy! In the face! And sent him to the ground!

_WOWIE!_

Still, he hit my captain, so I was about to hit him back, until the big geisha guy stood in front of me.

"Out of my way tubby." I threatened him.

He looked scared, but he said, "You're not alone big bro. I'll help you fight! We share the same dream! From the time we were little, we've made all sorts of bad decisions I'm not proud of, but no matter what we did you were always there to protect the weak!"

He pulled out a paddle and slammed it down on me. Would have crushed me if I hadn't side stepped.

I looked back at him and he was crying. "I'LL…ALWAYS BE RIGHT SIDE YOU DEFENDING THOSE WHO ARE HELPLESS!"

The blonds speech also encouraged the other guys as well, and prepared for battle.

"Hey Screaver," Usopp whispered, "time to retreat!"

"SEA PIRATES OR NO SEA PIRATES, I SAY BRING IT ON!" The blond shouted.

Luffy just got up and laughed. "HAHA! Spoken like a true rebel soldier! Now I can go take care of Crocodile without worrying about this village!"

"Shut your mouth and run!" Sanji shouted and picked Luffy up as we ran.

"BASTARDS! THAT'S REBEL SOLDIERS FOR YOU!" Sanji shouted with fake desperation.

Usopp chimed in with, "I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A STRONG DISPLAY OF STRENGTH!"

"Did we really have to run?" I complained.

"Whatever, I suck at scenarios like this one!" Zoro shouted in frustration.

"HEY! WAIT FOR ME!" Chopper complained.

As we ran farther away, Vivi and Nami rode along side us on Eyelash. We ran further away from the city and soon, Ace showed up.

"How long do we keep running?" Ace shouted.

"Beats me!" Luffy responded.

* * *

We had been walking for several hours. No one said a word. It was too hot, and we were too tired. I was carrying all the extra supplies on the sled Ace brought over.

_Gee, how thoughtful of him. Fucking bastard._

Luffy was drinking so sloppily and spilling water that Usopp got in a argument over who got the water.

"Stop hogging all the water for yourself!" Usopp complained.

Luffy pouted. "Why is it ok if Sanji does it?"

Sanji held up a jug of water and said, "This is for Nami. So if she gets thirsty or dehydrated and cries out for water," he gripped the water and got all lovey dovey, "I'll be there to rescue her!"

He darted of to Nami and Vivi to give them water. Luffy ran over and snatched the water away. Usopp also joined the scuffle over water.

"What the hell are we gonna do with those guys?" I said frustrated.

I walked up ahead over to Nami and Vivi to get away from those idiots fighting.

"Hey Vivi," Nami asked, "can you tell me more about this rebel army?"

"Yes, I should probably fill you in before we get there." She said back.

"Vivi explaining ahead of time? That's a shocker." I said sarcastically.

-BAM-

"Ow." I grunted as Nami kicked me.

"It started, 11 years ago." Vivi began.

* * *

And so for the next hour, Vivi told the story of her past. When she was a little girl, she got in a fight with a boy named Kohza. She lost the first one, but their rematch was a draw. Kohza was also in charge of a small group of boys called the Sand Sand Clan, and made Vivi the vice leader after she tied with him. They spent their time doing group activities (whatever that means) and she made lots of friends, including the father of Kohza named Toto.

It was a nice story. But before she could continue, she was interrupted by the sound of a giant scorpion coming out of the ground!

I mean giant! Like hippo sized! Fortunately Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, and Chopper had it under control, so Vivi continued with her story.

"Kohza had a strong heart that burned as bright as the sun." Vivi said. "But I worried that his compassion would one day be used against him."

One day when she was walking outside the kingdom, bandits ambushed her and tried to kidnap her. But Kohza bravely led his clan to Vivi's defense. Unfortunately they were all beaten by the two grown ups, and it only got worse when a third bandit appeared. Scared and desperate, Vivi ran into the ruins to hide from the men, but they caught up with her.

But Kohza was right behind them and defended her with all his might, even took one of the guys out!

I was impressed slightly. I mean the guy was probably only eight and he took on a experienced and deadly bandit and won! Pretty good, but I could do that too! If I was eight and…well, back to Vivi's story.

Kohza had been wounded by the bandit before he took him out, and would have been killed by the other two. But thankfully, Igaram and the king came in and took them out. Kohza was taken back to the kingdom for medical attention, as well as all the other boys who fought.

Vivi was scared, but not because of the bandits. Well, she was afraid of that (I hope, because if she wasn't, I would think something was wrong with her). She was really afraid of what Kohza said before they engaged the bandits.

"Protect her to the death Sand Sand Clan!"

She didn't want them to give their lives for her sake.

Well, you know how I think about that, so let's move on.

The king was very grateful for what the boys did. After Kohza had healed, the king gave Toto a new job to do. He put Toto in charge of building a new town in the oasis of Yuba, the cross section of some of the most important cities in Arabasta.

Kohza would also help in the construction. So they left for Yuba, and she hasn't seen him since.

"Good story, but what does this have to do with the rebel army?" I asked.

Vivi sighed and said, "We're heading towards the oasis called Yuba, that's were the rebel army is stationed. The leader of the rebel army is…Kohza."

Nami gasped. "So the leader is…"

"It's the same boy from the story." She said in despair.

"NAMI! LOOK! I managed to save you the best part!" Sanji shouted as he carried…a huge smoking claw!

Nami and Vivi screamed in fear at the thing, I was shocked too!

Luffy and everyone else had eaten the giant scorpion like it was a giant crab! Nothing but shells left!

Nami screamed in anger, "YOU GUYS ARE NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF INCONSIDERATE JERKS! COME ON SCREAVER! LET'S GO EYELASH!"

_Well, you heard the lady._ Michael said.


	62. Chapter 62

Bounty Hunter Scorpion

The Future is Set in Stone

We camped out for lunch time. Sanji was only able to give us seconds for food, which didn't improve Luffy's mood.

Luffy had resorted to stealing food from Zoro's plate, and getting yelled at by everyone.

I was eating quietly with Nami and Vivi, being as orderly as I could.

But hey, you know me, so I wasn't as polite as I wanted to be.

"Why do they behave like this every time we eat?" Vivi asked.

"Just don't make eye contact." Nami said.

Nami and Vivi were commenting on how Ace was being so orderly and polite. Made me wanna puke.

"Ace is so calm and orderly." Vivi said. "He cleans his fork and plate after each meal!"

"Makes me believe there's hope for his gender after all." Nami said.

"It's like him and Luffy aren't even blood-related." I said seriously. Nami and Vivi nodded their heads in agreement.

_HAHAHAHAHAHA!_

* * *

We were cleaning up after breakfast. Well, _most_ of us anyway. Zoro was still fighting Luffy for stealing his food.

-BAM-

But Nami's fists were enough to stop them.

"What?" Luffy said as he looked off into space. "HEY! FLOATING MEAT!"

No one knew what e was saying, but he ran off shouting, "COME BACK MEAT!"

"Ugh. We gotta go get him back." I said in annoyance.

-BANG-

We were searching for Luffy when we heard a gun shot. We rushed over and saw Ace confronting two kids.

They were clearly brothers, same freckles and blue eyes, but one was older than the other. The older one was holding a gun.

He dropped the gun and shouted at Ace, "Please sir! I have a favor to ask you! There's someone I need you to catch fro me! PLEASE! It's important!"

Ace stared at the kid coldly. The kid pleaded, "I can give you a reward! I'll give you 1,000,000 berri!"

"1,000,000 berri?" Nami said eagerly.

"Figure you'd be here once he mentioned money." I joked.

-BAM-

"Ow." I said quietly.

"I can't pay you right away." The boy said sadly. "But I will as soon as I grow up, I promise!"

* * *

The kid showed us a picture of a man standing next to some hay. The man was balding, had a moustache, wore shades, in farmer's clothes with a pitchfork and a big grin on his face. He also had a tattoo of two hearts pierced by an arrow on his forehead.

"My brother and I have been on his trail and I know he's close." The older brother said. "We've followed him from the Badlands."

Usopp said, "We need more details. What's his name?"

"Scorpion. He's a bounty hunter." The boy said.

Zoro asked, "Hold on, you sure?"

"What possible reason would you kids have to chase a bounty hunter?" Nami asked.

The kids didn't respond. I could see it clearly, even though I already knew. Scorpion was obviously their father. Same face, skin and hair color, mostly.

"I have business with him as well." Ace said. "A man who defeated Blackbeard is somewhere in Yuba. He goes by the name Scorpion. My whole purpose for traveling to Yuba is to meet this man."

No one could believe it. "That guy…beat Blackbeard?"

"No way, I don't believe it!" Usopp said in disbelief. "I don't know Ace. He doesn't look the type. Do you really think this is the guy who beat up Blackbeard?"

"Not sure." Ace told him, looking over the picture. "The only way to find out is to meet him face to face."

The kids looked shocked. "Ace? Wait…you don't mean the real…the real Fire Fist Ace?"

I shrugged. "Here we go. Why is it always Ace?"

Ace stopped. He looked to one of the dunes. "There's two, and maybe a bird." He said.

Chopper's nose twitched. "They're here."

From above the dune, a ostrich stood. On that ostrich was the Scorpion guy, but he was wearing a helmet with a scorpion on it and with a bag full of weapons. And Luffy, riding right behind him.

"I'VE COME FOR YOU FIRE FIST ACE!" He shouted heroically.

We were all confused.

"I'M THE SCORPION! A TRUE INDOMITABLE HERO!" He continued. "I'VE TRAVELED A GREAT DISTANCE TO CHALLANGE YOU! I EXPECT AN ABOVE FORWARD FIGHT FAIR AND SQUARE!"

The kids ducked behind a rock to hide from him. Ace got up and looked at the man intently.

Luffy came out from behind Scorpion and gleefully said, "Oh goody! You're all here!"

We all gasped. "Why are you with the bad guy?" I said.

Ace stared at Scorpion, and began to freak out; like he wasn't going to do it. But Luffy said something to him and he mustered up some courage and let out a hearty laugh.

"READY? HERE I COME!"

The ostrich charged as Luffy hoped off. Scorpion pulled out a weird looking gun with a round cartridge on the front and fired a metal net at Ace.

Ace simply ignited his body and blew the now-heated metal net back at Scorpion, sending him rolling on the ground screaming in pain.

"FAIL!"

He pulled off the net and laughed, "I GUESS I SHOULD BE THANKFUL! IF DEFEATING YOU WERE EASY, IT WOULDN'T BE MUCH OF A VICTORY!"

"Yeah?" Ace said. "You got some skills yourself."

"POPO!" Scorpion shouted. "THE COMPRESSED EXTINGUISHER GUUUUUUUN!"

The bird dropped a sack and he constructed a gun in seconds. It was a pump gun connected to a big tank strapped to his back.

He rushed Ace and fired his gun. Ace dodged, but the blast blew a hole straight through a boulder.

_Strong gun!_

Ace came in close, dodging more foam, and hit Scorpion in the gut, sending him falling down a hill.

"I suspected as much." Ace said disappointed. "You lied about beating Blackbeard didn't you? You figured using his name would draw me out into the open. Am I right?"

"It's not that hard to figure out." I said quietly.

Scorpion chuckled. "That's right. A clever…deceit. I say that first round was…a draw. Now it's time to get serious." He said, but fell over.

"He has heart, but no strength to back it up." I said admirably.

"STOP!" The older brother shouted. "YOU CAN'T BEAT HIM FATHER!"

Everyone gasped. I looked at them funny. "You _really_ didn't see the resemblance?"

The boys rushed over to their father. He tried to get back up, but began to break down as he saw his kids run to him him.

"Chip? Dip!" He called to them.

"Please stop the fight! Fire Fist Ace is too powerful!" His son warned him.

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you at home? When did you leave the Badlands?" The father said.

"We understand what you were trying to teach us! This battle's too much for you! You gotta come home!" The boy pleaded.

Scorpion patted him child on the head and laughed. "Don't be silly." He said cheerfully. "Remember boys, I'm the world's greatest bounty hunter after all! If I said it once I've said it a million times! I've fought the toughest and meanest men around and bested everyone!"

"He's a bigger liar than you Usopp." I said jokingly.

"HEY!" He said in anger.

Then he said a really long and heroic speech. "The truth is I'm a terrible liar, and a terrible father to boot, but there is one thing that's true. And if you remember nothing else I taught you remember this: Even the most insignificant person can rise up to challenge the world's greatest hero if he believes in himself! That is the entire reason I did this! To show you! Show you what it means to follow your heart's desire!"

_Well just because you can challenge someone doesn't mean you can beat them. And did you just call yourself the most insignificant person in the world?_

"Men need dreams! Goals that burn deep inside the heart like an eternal flame! That is what sustains us all! Ambition! Always challenge what others say can't be done, even if it seems impossible! Believe and life will deliver paradise! AHAHAHAHA!"

His kids were starting to cry. I was getting teary eyed too. I mean he was speaking from the soul!

_Everyone in this crew strives to do the impossible. Whether it's finding a legendary treasure, beating the greatest swordsman, mapping the entire world, finding a hidden ocean, curing every disease, or…or…getting the woman that was created to never find romance!_

_(Actually, Oda said that both Nami and Robin were declared to never get romance in One Piece, because Oda said that 'Shonen is mainly to boys, and boys don't care about romance' or something along those lines.)_

_Asian bastard. Oh ok, I take it back. Who knows where I would have ended up if One Piece never existed?_

_Naruto?_

_Uuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh...shivers._

Scorpion got back up and his bird dropped off a bazooka. He lit the end of it and aimed it at Ace.

His kids grabbed him and pleaded with him some more. "WE UNDERSTAND YOU LEAVE US TO MAKE YOUR POINT! WE GET IT FATHER! CHIP AND I WON'T GIVE UP ON OUR DREAMS, JUST LIKE YOU SAID! WE NEED YOU! COME HOME!"

Chip followed up with, "I'm SORRY DADDY, DON'T BE MAD AT US ANYMORE! WE'LL BE GOOD, I PROMISE! AND I WON'T COMPLAIN EVER AGAIN! I'M SCARED DADDY! I WANNA GO HOME!"

And in one act of kindness and stupidity, the father threw down his bazooka and hugged his kids.

The _stupid _part of that was that the bazooka was still lit!

The bazooka clattered against a rock and fired upward.

-KABOOM-

A spikey-shaped ball pierced the top of a cliff and blew it to rubble. Boulders began falling right towards Scorpion and his kids.

Scorpion shielded his kids ad the rocks fell, but Luffy ran towards them.

"GUM GUUUUUM…"

"I got it!" Ace said.

"FIRE FIST!"

-WHOOSH- -KABOOM-

Ace turned his fist into fire and blew the entire cliff to smithereens.

Luffy and Ace checked the remains and found the three, alive and well. After they told us we decided it was best to leave them to their business.

* * *

As the sun began to set, Ace told us that he was about to leave.

"You're not really going to leave us Ace. Are you?" Chopper said sadly.

"Yep. Seeing as how it's been confirmed that Blackbeard isn't in Arabasta I have no reason to stick around."

He told us that Scorpion was able to give him a new lead on Blackbeard. Before Ace left, he dug out a white piece of paper from his pocket and tossed it to Luffy.

"Hey, Luffy. Do yourself a favor and hang on to that." Ace said.

Luffy inspected the paper. "But it's just a scrap of paper." He said unimpressed.

"That scrap of paper will reunite us someday." Ace said.

_Um, Screaver._ Michael said.

_What? Kinda busy here._

_Aren't you going to warn Ace about getting beaten by Blackbeard, getting executed as well in front of his own brother?_ Michael reminded me.

_Two things. One: How would he believe me? I doubt he'll think I can see the future or some other BS excuse like that_

_And two: You know what I always say; never get between a man and his fight!_

_Very good Screaver. But be careful. Luffy does go into a depression if Ace dies._ Michael warned me.

_But he'll snap out of it, right?_

When I finished, Ace was already gone.

"Good old Fire Fist Ace." Sanji said.

"Yeah, but we'll see him again soon." Luffy promised.

_Ah what the hell? We'll see him again another day, I hope._


	63. Chapter 63

**Sorry for such a late chapter, I was _sick_ in a sense. But I'm all better now, and here is your new chapter.**

* * *

Another Baseless Promise

Meeting the 1000 Man

We were, you guessed it, walking through the desert. It was soooooo damn hot.

We were walking, and complaining, and it was soooooooo damn hot.

"I swear that if it doesn't rain, then I'll make it do so!" I shouted in a blaze of anger.

"Shut up Screaver." Sanji said. "It's bad enough that we have to listen to _that_ guy complain."

"Waaaaaaaateeeeeer." Luffy groaned.

"I MEAN IT!" I shouted.

I don' know if I was going crazy from the heat, or if I really mean't it, but I raised my finger up high and announced, "PEOPLE OF AAAARABASTA! I PROOMISE THAT _I_ SHALL BRING THE RAAAAIN BAACK TO THE DESEEEERT!"

-BAM-

Nami hit me over the head. "BE QUIET! Honestly, it's bad enough having to listen to Luffy complain! We don't need you to go crazy too!"

"_Sawy._"

Eyelash trotted forward ahaed of me. Vivi gave me a sympathetic smile as they passed me.

_Nice going there Screaver._ Michael said.

_Piss off._

_Do you plan on keeping that promise?_ He asked curiously.

_I don't know. It'll rain anyways right?_

_Uhhhh...about that._ He said.

_Why is it soooooooo damn hot?_

The amount of walking was making me hate deserts more and more. In fact I kinda liked them before, but now I hate them even more than…I hate them!

What made me hate them even worse was the sandstorms.

We had just left Zoro and Chopper leave to go take care of a rampaging Luffy. Minutes away mind you. Then, all of a sudden, a huge whirl of sand surrounded us.

* * *

I could barely hear all the others yelling. The sand stung my eyes. I ran in the direction that I thought I heard them in. But when the sandstorm subsided, no one.

I looked all around. No one, I could see no one! NO ONE!

_Great, we've been separated._ Michael groaned.

_A little help?_

_What am I? A GPS? You gotta find them! He said._

_Bastard._

_Don't worry, give me some time._ He said sarcastically.

_Good little GPS._

_Bastard!_ He cursed.

* * *

I had been walking not even an hour before I was confronted by a whole pack of giant...geekos maybe? They were all sand colored with wide open mouths.

"You want to sell me some car insurance?"

-CHOMP-

Tried to bite my head off they did!

There were three of them, and they dove at me with gapping mouths.

I took them all down with a bazooka punch.

-KABOOM-

I left their stinking corpses in the sand, hoping maybe another animal will get a meal.

"AROOOOOO!"

A giant coyote (not a wolf, I know the difference) pounced into view and began devouring the lizards I killed. Swallowed them all in three gulps.

_Well, nice he got a free meal._

He licked his lips and then looked at me, like eating three lizards the size of horses wasn't enough!

Granted he was the size of the whole barn, but that's no excuse to eat me!

"AROOOOOO!"

"BITCH!" I shouted before taking the bazooka off my back and fired a round in his face.

"RAAAWR!"

Guess it only made him angry. He swiped his giant paw at me, but I ducked.

-KABOOM-

One last shot into it's mouth.

-THUD-

It fell over, dead or unconscious. I didn't want to find out which was which, so I quickly left it sizzling in the sun.

* * *

Speaking of which, the sun was directly over me. I wandered from place to place, drinking only when I was about to fall over from exhaustion.

"SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HEEEEEEEEEEREEE!" I yelled in desperation.

-RUMBLE-

The ground beneath me began to tremble.

"What...the fuck?"

My feet began sinking into the sand. I tried to pull them out, but my exhaustion had weakened me. The sand sank down to my waist before the entire ground fell all at once around me.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

-THUD-

"SHIT!" I screamed as I landed on my ass.

I shook the sand off of me, and tried to look around but it was pitch dark. I even tried to look up, but the ceiling had formed over the whole I made.

"Well there's no turning back now."

I formed my bazooka.

_Michael, I need a light._

_What am I? A lamp?_ He complained.

_Just shut up and do it, GPS/Lamp._

_Fine, ya damn prick._ He said in annoyance.

The bazooka was lit with a dull golden light. What I saw was ruins. Fallen columns, broken walls, hieroglyphics, that sort of thing.

I saw a wooden door at the far end of the room. Looked brand new compared to everything else.

Nothing else in the room to look at.

So I slowly walked over to it, and opened the door.

Inside I saw…a science nerd's dream.

It was a medium sixed room I guess, but it was filled to the roof with science stuff. Tables had test tubes on burners and beakers of chemicals. Their were bookshelves crammed with huge books. The floor was also covered in cables of some kind, making the floor look like it had green veins. Some of the floor had huge holes in it, fixed with old wooden boards that didn't even cover them all the way. The entire back wall was just one huge shelf with rows of chemicals in giant jars, sorted by colors I guess. Another wall had hooks for handing tongs and other equipment that I couldn't explain. Their was even a triple sink connected to the other wall. And on the right wall, their was another, more ornate door.

"Hot digady damn!"

I looked around and almost tripped over a huge sack of green powder.

_Dance Powder, rain making powder._ Michael reminded me.

_Why does this guy have illegal material?_

I looked at one table and saw that one round beaker was boiling some green liquid. Right next to it was a huge stack of books with a blue jar on top.

_That's a safety hazard, I better move it._ Was the first thought that popped in my head.

I stood up on a chair and tried to grab the jar. The instant I did, I felt that the jar was freezing cold. So much that it burned my skin.

Don't ask how something _cold_ can burn, I don't know.

I dropped it and, unfortunately, spilled it into the round beaker.

"Oh that can't be good."

The green and blue began swirling together, like they were both fighting about something. The whole table began to shake. The stack of books began to fall on me. Even the lights on the ceiling began to flicker off.

"Shit! Shit!"

Light began shining from the beaker. I was afraid I did something really **bad.**

"Duck you fool!" A voice shouted. I was pushed to the ground as the light began to blind me.

-WHOOSH-

The light stopped. I was pulled back up by…three hands.

I looked up and saw a humped figure in the dark. It walked over to the side and flipped a switch.

-BZZZT-

The lights flashed back on. The entire lab was illuminated. I saw the man who saved me.

He was an old man with a hump, wearing a purple cloak. He was bald, and had wrinkles over his frowning face. But the weirdest part of him was he had a third arm! On the left of his hump he had another arm with a sleeve.

"What are you doing boy? You are trespassing on my property." He said with a worried tone.

"HEY! Don't call me boy! My name is Screaver Bartel! And I didn't know anyone lived here!"

He sighed and scratched his head with his third arm. "Well, Screaver, you didn't come here to steal my secrets did you?"

"What? I don't even know where _here_ is."

He sighed with relieve. "Good." He said and walked over to a desk.

"Who are you?"

He gave me a smile. His teeth were a mixture of pearly white real ones and golden fake ones. "I am Alistair. Man of 1000 achievements who has lived a thousand years."

"1000 years?" I said in disbelief.

"Well, almost. The secret to live 1000 years was my first discovery. So I decided to create the other 999 to take up time."

"Guess so. I mean if you're going to live 1000 years, what are you going to do?"

He laughed. "You're a strange guy Screaver."

"So I'm told."

He chuckled and pulled himself down in a red chair.

"So, seeing as you probabaly have some free time on your hands, tell me; what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a pirate." I said.

"Ah. I've known some great pirates in my days." He said, looking back nostalgically.

"Ever meet Gold Roger?"

"A few times. Shame about how he met his fate I always thought. Though I guess if he hadn't had died the way he did, and start that Pirate Era, you would be here now would you?"

"You could say that." I agreed.

"So, what are you planning on doing in Arabasta? Take over the country?" He asked.

"Not really. I'm trying to liberate it from Crocodile's criminal organization." I said bluntly.

He laughed again. "Bout time that kid be brought down. Pirates I can deal with, but Warlords are another story. Damn pirates given government powers, complete bull shit! Has nothing to do with me though, he'll never find me down here, even if he tries to control this giant desert."

While we were talking, his third hand was writing something down on the desk behind him.

I was staring at it. He raised an eyebrow. "Discovery #926, developing extra appendages. Took many a _trial and error _to get that one right."

"So, what did I do?" I asked and pointed to that beaker.

"No idea." He said. "We have to wait until it cools. Or warms up."

I looked around his illuminated lab, and saw the giant bag of powder again.

"Why do you have Dance Powder? Isn't that stuff illegal?" I asked him.

He grit his teeth. "I made the damn stuff, I have a right to keep it!"

I was shocked. "You made Dance Powder?"

He sighed. "It was an unfinished product. My plan was to fix the rain problem in Arabasta. Discovery #978 to be precise. I was able to get the rain to come down but the side effects were to drastic to call it finished. I didn't get to fine tune it before bandits, hired by scientists, broke in myu previous lab and stole a few bags. Once they sold it to the Arabasta Kingdom, they replicated it and used it! You know the rest I bet."

"Sucks." Was all I could say. "So, what have you done in the past 1000 years?"

He raised an eye at me. "I just told you I have lived for almost 1000 years. And you just…believe me?"

"Yeah. So?"

He laughed again, holding his chest as he wheezed. "You won't believe how long I've waited for someone so give me that reaction! It always _no way_ and _you're crazy_ and _make me live 1000 years_! Finally, someone who just says _yes_."

"Ok ok, not a big deal old guy…I mean Alistair."

"Well, now let me remember."

He told me on how he spent each century doing something different. One century he developed weapons (i.e. Pluto, but I really didn't care about that.) Another he developed advanced medical technology.

In his last century, he decided to do more civil things.

"I even took up an apprentice once upon a time. Named Hogback I believe. Good kid, but was into…really weird things. One time he tracked me down and try and force me to bring back this dead woman, but I refused."

"Why?"

"He wanted to satisfy his zombie fetish really. I knew it. _He_ knew it. And he knew I could bring her back just like he wanted but I said no!"

"Wait." I stopped him. "You can bring dead people back?"

"Sure can, but they are just a bunch of stiffs really. No personality. Kind of offsetting really. Never was my thing. But when you get to my age, and if you do I might just have to kill ya for stealing my discovery, you just want to setle down and..."

"Do something more domestic?" I guessed.

He nodded. "Not exactly how I would have put it, but just the same."

-DING-

He looked at a small watch on his arm and smiled at me.

"Well, lets take a look at what you created now, shall we?"

"Are you sure I did anything?"

"I believe that a man should own up to his mistakes. And who knows? Some great discoveries are made from mistakes."

He got up from his chair and picked up the beaker with his third hand. It had turned into a sky blue powder.

He gasped.

"What? Did I mess something up? Because I'm really good at that."

"This," he mumbled. He was rubbing his hands together. "This is what I've been waiting for! I mean it isn't perfect but…this is a start!"

He sat it down. I looked at him.

"The overuse of the unfinished Dance Powder has caused a thick barrier over the land of Arabasta, causing all natural rain to be blocked out. This is what has caused the terrible drought over the land. Only continuous use of the Dance Powder will allow anymore rain to fall."

"And it was all your fault?" I guessed.

He frowned. "Let me continue. I aimed to break this barrier as my next discovery. By enhancing the compound of the powder and combining several other chemicals such as…"

"Get to the point." I said.

He frowned again. "I strived to create…this." He said and lifted the beaker. "Only a more perfected blend and maybe the rate of the reaction was change due to the added kinetic force added to the hydro glycerin…"

My eyes grew wide. "What? And your saying I did it?"

"I never thought to add liquid nitrogen to the compound, because it would make it highly unstable. I couldn't risk blowing up my whole lab. But you did it and, here it is. But not exactly what I would call perfect."

Something clicked in my brain. "So if I use that powder, the rain will come back?"

He thought for a minute, inspecting the beaker. "13.8% chance of rain. The other part may cause permanent damage to Arabasta's climate. It may begin to snow or worse! Hurricanes, floods, tornadoes! Besides, you would need a larger amount if you were to burn it."

I thought for a minute. "There has to be a way of using it with that small amount? What if you fired it into the sky with something like a cannon or…a bazooka?"

He thought about it again. "Maybe. At that altitude it would cause a larger effect, but that would just make the side effects much more destructive."

I picked up the beaker. "I'll take the risk."

He freaked out. "YOU MUSTENT! IT HASN'T BEEN TESTED! Just give me some time! I have to get some more liquid nitrogen and a few other chemicals, maybe increase the distillation time by a few days. Should take about a week to…"

"Look Alistair," I said, "I'm a guy who takes risks and beats the odds. I would've died a long time ago if I wasn't lucky. And this beaker is probably my only chance to bring the rain back to Arabasta. I need to do this. I have to. I got no other options."

He sighed again. "I can't stop you. You were the one to create this, not me. It's your decision. But think before you use it. Only at the right moment. Understand, Screaver?"

I nodded.

"Good. Now Screaver, I shall see you out the door."

* * *

Alistair refilled my canteen and took me to a small room. It had a small silver plate big enough that I could stand on. It was covered in hieroglyphics and surrounded by small torches.

"Discovery #670, teleportation. Unfortunately it's range is still limited by a mile. Still, it will get you back to the surface."

I smiled and thanked him. He handed me a glass ball the size of a cannon ball. Inside was the blue powder.

"Here is your weather-ball. Take care of it. Good luck, and remember what I have told you."

I put the ball inside my bag and shook his third hand. "So what will you do now?"

"I think I'll take a break for the day. If you fail to save this dried up desert, it has nothing to do with me. But if this place gets obliterated by the strange weather that the ball creates, I might just have to pack up and move somewhere else. But don't let that change your decision. So long Screaver!"

He flipped a switch connected to the wall and the scene melted away.

* * *

I was back on the surface. The sky was red and the sun was low.

_I FOUND THEM!_ Michael announced.

_IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!_

He said run straight over the dune right in front of me, so I did.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!" I shouted.

I saw Nami and Vivi riding Eyelash with Sanji and Usopp. On the other side, I could see Luffy dancing around, as well as a tired Zoro and Chopper.

"IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK!" I shouted.

"Where did you go?" Vivi said with worry.

I just told her I wandered the desert until I found them. No need to tell them about Alistair just yet.


	64. Chapter 64

**I'm submtting this during school, just to show you how deticated I am to bring you your weekly chapter.**

**I know this is a little late, but as you guys know, I made it past 300 reviews. Once again, to readers both new and old, I thank you all for being awesome. So, heres is a new chapter. Complements of the chef.**

**Wait...that doesn't work in this scenario...**

**Whatever, you know what I mean.**

**

* * *

**

We Make it To Yuba...And Nobodies Home?

Rainbase or Bust

At last we made it to Yuba, but it wasn't quite like I pictured it.

We were in the midst of a sandstorm, but I could see that Yuba wasn't doing do great.

The buildings were buried in sand, but they were already falling apart. Dried up palm tree were also snapping off and collapsing in the harsh wind.

Not a pretty picture if you can imagine.

The sandstorm subsided, but everything was covered in a thick layer of sand.

Vivi was terrified. We all looked at the ruined city in silence.

"This doesn't look good." Zoro said. "This place doesn't look much better than that Eramalu town from before."

"WATER!" Luffy shouted.

"Vivi, I thought this town was suppose to be some sort of oasis." Sanji said.

"Dried up I suppose." I said disappointedly.

-SHING-

We heard the sounds of digging.

I looked forward and saw the man was shoveling sand in front of us.

"I'm assuming that you are travelers. You must be exhausted from all the time in that heat." He said. His voice was hollow sounding, almost as dry as the sand.

"Sorry but this town is a bit dried up too. It doesn't have much relief to offer." The man said sadly. He turned to us and revealed to be a incredibly thin and old man with gray hair and hollow cheeks.

"But still, you're free to rest here for a while." He said hopefully. "There's not much water, but there are plenty of inns in the town. It's what we pride ourselves after all."

Vivi covered her face. "Thank you but we came here because we thought the rebel army was in this town." She said.

The old man shot us an evil and hate filled glare. "What business do you have with the rebel army?"

He threw lots of stuff at us at an alarming rate!

"CURSE ALL OF YOU! IF YOU CAME TO JOIN THE REBEL ARMY YOU CAN JUST ALL GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM!"

He told us that the rebel army had moved to another city called Katorea.

Vivi told us that it was, in fact, a close walking distance from the city we started at.

"WHAT THE HELL? WE CAME ALL THIS WAY FOR NOTHING?" I shouted in anger.

Chopper also told us that he accidently walked into Katorea, and that Eyelash was even carrying rebel supplies!

We all beat the living shit out of that damn camel.

"Well, what do we do now Vivi?" I asked.

_SHIT!_

"Vivi…" The old man mumbled. He began climbing out of the sand pit. His face was pale, like he just saw a ghost. "Wait, your name…"

Luffy got in the way with a stupid look on, waving his hands and shouting, "HOLD ON! SHE'S DEFINENTLY NOT A PRINCESS!"

-BONK-

I knocked him upside the head. "MORON!"

"Princess Vivi, is that really you?" The man said. He grabbed Vivi by the shoulders. He was on the verge of tears.

"You're alive. I can't believe it! Thank goodness!" He said.

"It's me Vivi! Don't you recognize me?" The old man said.

"I look different. I lost some weight I suppose."

When he said that, Vivi instantly recognized him. "Toto?" She said weakly. She covered her mouth in shock.

_Hang on…this guy…Toto? Yeah, his name is Toto, and he knew Vivi when she was a kid._

The old man was crying. "Whatever it's worth, Vivi dear, I have faith in you and the king."

Toto fell to his knees in tears. "THIS REBELLION IS…RIDICULOUS!" He shouted in anger.

He told us how the rebels have exhausted most of their resources and plan on settling the whole thing in the next attack. Once he said they were prepared to fight to the death, Vivi gasped again.

"Please Vivi!" He pleaded. "You have to stop these fools from tearing our country apart!"

After a long pause, Vivi smiled at Toto and said, "Don't worry, were going to stop this."

* * *

Toto invited us to stay at one of his hotels for the night. Had to say, for a dried up town, the hotel was in pretty good shape.

"Well good job today everybody!" Usopp cheerfully said. "Really, we did some good work! Now let's all lie down on these comfy beds and get some well deserved rest ok? We'll need our strength!"

He lied down just as Zoro knocked him out of bed with a pillow.

"Please! This whole trip you've been nothing _but_ lazy!" He growled.

"Please! Stop comparing me to you and to all the other super-human freaks!" Usopp said in retaliation and nailed Zoro in the face with a pillow.

It bounced off and Zoro growled, "Now you're annoying me."

Usopp hit Chopper with a pillow. "I think Blue-nose here wins today's award for laziest talking animal in the desert!" Usopp shouted.

Chopper got in his face and shouted, "YOU TRY WALKING AROUND IN A FUR COAT!"

"Um Sanji, I think that's my bed." Vivi said innocently.

I turned around and saw Sanji under the covers trying to invite Vivi in the bed with him!

I picked up a pillow and knocked him so hard in the face he almost fell out the bed.

"Try that again and I won't just throw a pillow, PERV!" I shouted.

"Ok Shithead, I'm going to shove that pillow so far down your throat you'll choke on it!" He cursed at me.

"DREAM ON BITCH!" I shouted and picked up two pillows.

-BAM-

"PILLOW FIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! YALALALALALALALALALALALA!" I screamed like a terrorist.

I spent the next hour tossing pillows at Sanji and he tossed them right back at me. Usopp started throwing some at me and I turned on him.

We were all fighting like a bunch of kids. Nami got into the pillow fight as well as Vivi watched us with a smile on her face.

_This has been…another moment that makes me happy to be a straw hat._

_

* * *

_

Everyone was asleep, except for me. I was sitting on the roof, holding the weather-ball I got from Alistair.

"Need some company?" I heard Michael say.

He was sitting on the roof with me, in his business suit.

"You know if this thing can work?" I said.

He took the orb and inspected it. "Not a clue."

I sighed. "Wait. Doesn't it rain right after Crocodile gets beaten?"

Michael sighed with grief. "Trust me, it won't. I can tell just by looking at the sky. I can see that thick atmosphere over this desert, I detected it when we got here. But it wasn't until Alistair confirmed my suspicions. If nothing is done, it may never rain here ever again."

"Oh, guess that's my fault then." I said.

"Yeah. I told you, no matter what you do, these things will happen. Like the krogan, the game boy, even Alistair. All these things exist just by you being in this world."

I cursed in anger. "Why am I such a screw up?"

Michael smiled. "You haven't messed everything up! Remember that it was you who killed Kuro. You saved Dorry from consuming a bomb in his alcohol. In fact, you created this weather-ball, the last chance for Arabasta, just from a screw up! You see? Being a screw up isn't all bad."

I smiled slightly. "Well…you got me there." I had to admit.

He huffed and got up. "Well, nice little talk, as they always are. Get some rest eh Screaver?"

* * *

Well, we woke up the next morning. Toto thanked us for staying and wishing that he had more to offer Vivi.

"Oh Luffy!" He said. "Take this with you!"

He handed a jug of water over to Luffy's. He lit up with happiness.

"WHOA! WATER! You found some then?" He asked.

Toto explained how he was able to find a moist layer of water in the giant hole he dug last night (when did he dig…bah, never mind.) He extracted the moisture and POOF! Water! Yaaaaaay!

"It's not much, but it was all I was able to get!" Toto said cheerfully.

"RIGHT! Then I'll drink it with care." Luffy said in a serious tone.

"I'd like to see that." I said sarcastically.

* * *

We were walking back the way we came. It was a little sad leaving Toto behind, but I knew he would be ok. You know, unless the weather-ball screws up and it turns this place into a winter wonderland or something.

As we walked by a dead tree, Luffy stopped and sat down with a frown on his face.

"HEY LUFFY!" Usopp shouted. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE?"

Luffy frowned some more and said, "I quit."

We all stared at him, dumbfounded.

"What's that mean?" Vivi asked curiously.

"Oh come on!" Usopp complained. "We don't have time to put up with every weird little mood you have right now, Luffy! Let's go!"

"Yeah, shouldn't we get going?" Chopper asked.

"Yes we should, and fast." Sanji said. "If we don't get back to that Katorea place the way we came and stop the rebellion that's about to begin, then 1,000,000 Arabasta citizens are gonna start fighting and things will get real ugly real quick! We're doing this for Vivi!"

He reached down and grabbed Luffy's collar. "So? Let's go!"

-BAM-

Luffy grabbed Sanji's arm and threw him head over heals into the sand, still sitting down.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" He shouted in anger.

Luffy frowned some more.

"Vivi?" He said.

"Um, yes?" She asked, still confused.

"Right now, all I want to do is kick Crocodile's ass, you understand?" He said, giving her an ugly look.

I was gonna beat him senseless for wasting all our time AND disrespecting Vivi.

"Maybe we can keep the people from starting a rebellion. That _won't_ stop Crocodile. Besides, we won't be able to accomplish anything in Katorea. We're pirates. Everyone knows things are better off without us around."

We all looked down at him intently. "You got to admit," Sanji said, "he has a way of getting straight to the point when he wants to."

"He's right in a way." I said. "Just cause we stop the rebellion, that won't stop Crocodile from taking Arabasta. He'll hatch another plan in a few years, one even worse than this one."

Vivi looked at me pleadingly, but then she turned to Luffy again and said, "That's not true!"

"You want it to work out so that nobody dies in this fight." Luffy said. "Isn't that right Vivi? None of the citizens, none of us either. We're up against one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea, and a million of your own people on top of that, and you still want to end up all safe and sound."

He looked up at her. "You'll never win that way!"

Nami tried to tell Luffy to stop, but Sanji stopped her.

Vivi was balling her fists in anger as she shouted, "AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT HUH? WHAT'S SO WRONG ABOUT NOT WANTING TO SEE PEOPLE DIE OR GET HURT?"

Luffy's face didn't change. "Cause people die, that's why."

You know now that I think of it, Luffy was making more sense than Vivi. I mean, we were in a WAR here, and Vivi wants to make sure that everyone walks away safely? _No_ deaths at all?

-SLAP-

Vivi slapped Luffy so hard he was flung from the tree.

_Remember my rule about how ANY punch thrown by a good guy sends the other guy flying, well…yeah._

"STOP TALKING LIKE THAT! I WON'T LISTEN TO IT! SAY THAT AGAIN AND I WILL REALLY HURT YOU!"

Luffy laid on the ground, unresponsive.

"That's the whole point to what we're doing here, don't you understand? No one here in Arabasta; not the rebel army, the royal army, or the people are to blame for this! None of them have done anything wrong! Why should any of them have to pay for what's happened? When every last bit of it is CROCODILE'S FAULT?"

Luffy got back up and he leaped to punched her right in the face…**OH FUCK NO!**

-BAM-

She fell to the ground.

"So you're saying it's only alright…FOR YOU TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIE?"

"I'M A GONNA KEEEEEL YOU LUFFY!" I shouted in anger. The others yelled at him as well.

She got up and pounced on him.

"Just being in this country for one day, and taking a look around, and even I can tell!"

She repeatedly punched and slapped him. "TELL WHAT?" She screamed.

"What this country needs more than anything!" He said over the punching. "You think that just putting your life on the line is enough to stop this from happening?"

"WELL WHAT ELSE SHOULD I BE PUTTING ON THE LINE THEN? WHAT LUFFY?"

He grabbed both her arms. She stopped and said sadly, "I don't have anything else to put on the line."

Luffy shouted, "Well you can at least you can try and put all our lives on the line together! AREN'T WE FRIENDS?"

Well, it took her long enough, but she _just realized _that we were all fighting together.

And of course, in typical Vivi fashion, broke down in tears.

"Well? Aren't we friends?" He asked.

She cried even harder.

"Now you see." Luffy said softly. "Now you understand."

She was crying so hard as Luffy smiled at her. "Hey, you can cry!" He said cheerfully.

He picked up his hat and brushed off the sand. Nami came over and held Vivi as she cried.

I would have…but…well…you see…shut up!

We all stood there in silence, nothing but the sound of wind blowing and Vivi's crying.

"Now tell me…" Luffy said as he stood tall. "WHERE CAN I FIND CROCODILE?"

* * *

Vivi directed us to Rainbase, the place where Crocodile lives. Took us several hours of walking.

By that time, Luffy and Usopp had been reduced to a couple of whining crybabies.

"Waaaaaaateeeeeer." They would moan.

"Ah, shut up." I would tell them.

"Hey Chopper," Zoro said, "you've made it the whole day without collapsing."

"Yeah." He said, still panting. "I'm trying hard not to. Vivi, does this place have a water supply?"

"Oh yeah," she promised, "No shortage there. It's a gambling town, almost completely isolated from all the fighting."

-CHACHING-

Money signs formed in Nami's eyes. "GAMBLING?" Nami said gleefully.

"Raise your hand if you saw that one coming." I said. Both Zoro and I raised our hands in sync.

"I guess some people need some places to relax, even here in Arabasta." Sanji stated.

"GUM GUM NO WAY!"

Usopp was trying to grab Luffy's special Yuba water, but Luffy was stretching his arms all over keeping it from Usopp's grasp.

"We can't go drinking it like it's regular water, so NO WAY!"

We were stunned.

"Praise the lord! He's learned how to conserve!" I shouted and pointed to the skies.

I hadn't really noticed that we were all completely out of supplies. Our canteens had run dry, our backpacks were empty.

All I had was my bazooka and the weather-ball, tucked safely in my backpack.

* * *

More walking. That's all I can say.

We passed over another sand dune, and saw the city of Rainbase.

It looked like any other large desert city, except I could see a huge pyramid with a golden roof with the alligator on it.

Luffy raised both his hands in the air before shouting as loud as he could, "YEEEAAAAH! TIME TO KICK CROCODILE'S ASS!"

_You won't be fighting Crocodile at all by any chance, are you?_ Michael asked.

_Are you kidding me? There is no way in hell I could beat Crocodile! That's Luffy's fight!_

_Just testing you._ He said suspiciously.


	65. Chapter 65

Meet at Rain-Dinners

I Get Beat The Fuck Up!

"That's Rainbase, huh?" Luffy asked.

Zoro said, "So after all that's happened, are we operating under the assumption that Baroque Works knows that we're here on the island with them?"

_Heheheh, Zoro thinks he's so smart. Using them big words like such._

"Yeah, I guess so. We met up with Mr. 2 after all." I said sadly.

We tried to tell Luffy that we would have to lay low, but he just shouted like a moron, "LAYING LOOOOW! BUT WE'RE COMING CROCODILE!"

"MORON!" I shouted as I hit him upside the head.

"Well no matter what happens, I will take it upon myself to protect Nami and Vivi from any harm." Sanji said heroically. "I'm always happy to play Prince Charming."

I turned around and gave him a dirty look. "And who are you to protect them Blondy? I've done a good job of protecting them thus far! There's no need of a witless moron like you."

"WHAT YOU SAY SHITHEAD? I'm gonna protect Nami and Vivi!" He complained.

"WHAT ARE YOU, A TEN YEAR OLD? SHUT UP PERVERT!" I yelled back.

"ASSHOLE!"

"BITCH FACE!"

"BOY!"

**"RAAAAAARRGH!"**

I was hitting his face as he shoved his foot in mine, until Zoro called us both morons and broke us up.

"SHUT UP STUPID SWORDSMAN!"

"SCREAVER! SANJI! KNOCK IT OFF!" Nami shouted above all of us.

* * *

She told me to walk on one side of the camel, and Sanji to walk on the other side of the camel.

_You're such a child._ Michael said.

_Shut up Micky._

Luffy and Usopp charged into the city, screaming like lunatics, and left the rest of us to take cover in a small area with no people watching.

Chopper had left to go to the bathroom, while the rest of us waited for Luffy and Usopp to return.

"I bet berry that they will bring back trouble." I said.

"What? Luffy and Usopp may be dumb, but they aren't that stupid." Nami said.

"Taking bets now. Who wants to cash in?" I offered to the rest of them.

"I bet they'll screw this up, but I have no money." Zoro said sadly.

"Come on. Have a little more faith in them." Vivi said.

"YAAAAAAAAH!" We heard Luffy scream.

Sanji peaked out behind the pole and said, "Looks like you win. I seems that the Marines are chasing them." Not even changing his tune.

"NO WAY!" Nami screamed and looked out as well.

I laughed. "OHOHOHO! I totally called that one!"

I high-fived Zoro. Just because.

"Wait, Tony hasn't made his way back here yet!" Vivi said.

"He'll be fine, we gotta move!" Sanji shouted.

"HEY GUYS! I THINK THE MARINES ARE HERE!" Luffy shouted at us, holding two barrels of water. Usopp was right behind him, carrying one barrel.

"THANKS LUFFY, I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED!" Zoro shouted in anger.

* * *

We ran through the city, passing by many civilians. Some of them I could see holding pictures of Luffy and the rest of us.

"Just great. They know we're here!" I shouted.

"THEN LET'S GO!" Luffy shouted. "TO WHERE CROCODILE IS!"

Vivi pointed him to the giant alligator building called Rain-Dinners.

"Screaver! Cause a distraction! Then we can all split up!" Sanji shouted.

I turned around, still running, and began aiming my fist.

"MEGA BUSTER!"

-KABOOM-

The explosion disrupted the Marines, but more just ran through the smoke. Civilians began running in panic.

"SPLIT UP! NOW!"

Sanji, Nami, and Usopp ran to the left while Zoro, Vivi, and I ran to the right. And Luffy jumped upwards and onto the roof of a building.

"MEET AT RAIN-DINNERS!"

* * *

We ran through the streets, but got cut off by a road block of strange looking people with weapons. They had a whole bunch of different clothes on, so I expected them to be Baroque Works agents.

From behind us, another group of agents were blocking the route we came.

"Screaver, take Vivi and run." Zoro said as he drew his sword.

"You can handle this by yourself?" I asked him.

He smiled. "Just go."

I grabbed Vivi's hand and we ran through the alley way.

"I hope Mr. Bushido will be alright." Vivi said, still looking back.

"He'll be ok. We have to get to Rain-Dinners." I told her.

* * *

Just as we were about to get out of the alley way, a whole platoon of agents were blocking all our exits again.

"That's them! Bazooka Bartel and Princess Vivi! Capture Vivi!"

I punched that guy in his face. "TOUCH VIVI AND DIE YOU SACKS OF SHIT!"

Some of them fired guns at me, but I leg-swept them and they all fell over. I also aimed the silver bazooka I got form Drum Island at them.

"Time to try out my new toy for once!"

-KABOOM-

It decimated the enemy's forces as they struggled to regroup. But I grabbed Vivi and we ran through the hole in their wall of forces.

But we didn't get far before _more _agents got in the way.

"GET OUT!" I shouted as I fired my bazooka arm at them.

Vivi rushed forward.

"Wait! Vivi!"

She pulled out two strings from her hair.

"PEACOCK SLASHER!"

She sliced her strings at two of the agents and dispatched them.

"I can fight too!" She said looking back at me.

When her back was turned, a agent was about to grab her. But I flash stepped, punched him in the gut and sent him flying.

"Next time, pay attention." I said smugly.

She pouted. More agents surrounded us. My back was up against Vivi's.

"Ready Vivi?" I asked.

"We don't have time to deal with these second rate thugs." She said.

"Ok then…BRING IT ON! SHIT BAGS!"

-KABOOM-

I fired my bazooka at them again, took out several men and their souls were sucked into my hand.

_85 down, 14 to go._

Vivi slashed more of the agents as I began punching. We were a good team, but there was way to many! Luffy was already at Rain-Dinners!

-BANG-

A huge wave of gunshots rained down on the agents. Vivi and I looked upward and saw…A HUGE BIRD! Wearing priest clothes.

_Weird._

Vivi looked at me and said, "It's Pell! He serves under my father!"

"So he's a good guy?" I asked.

The bird swooped down and picked Vivi up, but left ME there all alone.

"HEY! ROOM FOR ONE MORE!" I complained as I punched another agent.

The bird dropped Vivi off at the top of a building before swooping down and picking me up by my arms.

"Whoa! WHOA! WHOOOOA!"

It was a jarring experience.

He dropped me off next to Vivi.

Now that I look at him, he was more of a bird-man more than a regular bird. In a flash his feathers and beak morphed away and he turned into a regular guy.

Though the term _regular_ wasn't the way to desrcribe him. He had a white rope on with black stars on it, golden beads around his neck, a cloth rapped around his head, and purple paint around his eyes that went all the way down to his jaw.

"You are a friend of Vivi's?" He asked.

"This is Screaver." Vivi introduced me. "He's one of the friends I told you about in my letter."

I waved. "Please to make your acquaintance."

He bowed. "I must thank you all for protecting the princess from harm. You have no idea what it means to everyone from the palace."

"How is my father?" Vivi asked.

"He's doing well." Pell said. "Your father and I both read your letter, and he sent me ahead to scout out the situation."

The agents down bellow began shooting upward at us. Pell had to take a step forward to dodge the fire.

"Allow me." I said and pulled out my bazooka.

"No no, you have done enough Screaver. I shall deal wit these people." Pell said.

I stepped back. "Knock yourself out."

He stepped forward, right onto the ledge.

"THE BIRD BIRD FRUIT: MODEL, THE FALCON!"

His muscles expanded. Feathers sprouted from all over his body.

"Just five types have the power of flight! The power to which you will bear witness!"

He leaped off and vanished.

I looked down as a gust of wind blew straight through all the agents as Pell reappeared on the other side of them.

-WHOOSH-

"FLYING TALLON!"

All the agents were sent flying.

"Whoo! Way da go Bird-man!"

"Thank you Pell! I have to find everyone!" Vivi called down to him.

"Really?" A familiar voice said calmly behind us.

I turned around and saw…ah…Miss All Sunday right next to Vivi.

"SHIT! GET AWAY!" I shouted as I darted straight for her.

Sunday just smiled and waved her hand. Something tripped my feet as I fell to the side, unable to move my legs.

"We meet again, Mr. Bartel." She said cheerfully.

_Ahhhhhh, she said my name…NOT THE TIME OR THE PLACE!_

I tried to get to my feet. She was wearing the same cowboy outfit, just now with a big, white fur coat.

"It seems like I'm just in time." She said. "It seems like our precious employees are no longer of much use."

I tired to get back to my feet, but I felt two more hands press me into the ground.

"SCREAVER!" Vivi shouted in terror.

"PEEEEEEELL! SHE'S THE UNGRATEFUL BITCH WHO KILLED IGARAM!" I shouted loudly.

Vivi face was full of rage. She pulled out her cutting string and slashed at Sunday.

Sunday disarmed her and grabbed her arm.

"You were the one…who killed Igaram?" Pell said, his voice shaking with rage.

"Oh come now," Sunday said, "why are you getting so worked up now? It's really no different to what you did to our employees just now."

I was about to break free of her grasp, when I saw her shove her hand…STRAIGHT THROUGH VIVI'S CHEST!

"DAMN YOU!" Pell shouted in anger.

"**RAAAAAAAARGH!**"

I broke free of her grasp and swung at Sunday.

"**YOU FUCKING BITCH!**"

I felt my first BARELY mis her face.

She side stepped and waved her arms. "Triece Fleur."

-BAM-

Pell rammed into me and we were sent flying a ways away from Sunday. Vivi was on the ground, breathing heavily.

I pushed him off of me and glared at Sunday intensely.

"YOU BITCH YOU BITCH YOU BITCH YOU BITCH! BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BIIIIIIITCH!"

A hand formed on my stomach and jammed my mouth shut.

"I think that's enough foul language, don't you?" She asked, still smiling.

I smiled.

_Time to use what I learn in self defense._

I grabbed her arm and dug my nails into the top of her hand. I then brought my head back to the hand slipped off, and...

-CHOMP-

...bit down on her fingers.

She grunted with pain and her hand disappeared.

"The Flower Flower Fruit. Gives one the power to sprout body parts like flowers. The only drawback is that all damage your replicas receive, you receive as well." I said smiling evilly.

She rubbed her hand, gritting her teeth. "So, you know about my devil fruit powers. That won't stop you."

I charged at her again, but the SAME thing happened. My legs got tangled up, and this time she made several more hands pop up and bend all my bones.

"Shit!"

"Clutch."

-**CRACK**-

I felt all my bones pop and break. My arms bent, my legs were broken, my spine bent backwards.

"**YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWEEE!**"

"SCREAVER!" Vivi shouted again.

Pell got to his feet. "Princess Vivi, your alive!" He said in disbelief.

All my bones were broken or dislocated. I couldn't feel anything but a numbing pain, and I couldn't move.

"You fucking bitch! You wouldn't last three seconds in a fair fight with me!" I said.

She looked down at my broken form and said, "Do I need to break that jaw of yours as well?"

I gulped. She merely smiled and walked past me to deal with Pell.

Vivi rushed over to me. "Screaver! Please be alive!"

I smiled up at her, which hurt like hell. "I'm Screaver D. Bartel. You think I would die from getting all my bones broken?"

She was crying. I tried to move my arm up to comfort her but…HEY! MY ARM(S) WAS (WERE) BROKEN!

_Give me some time! Your bones aren't broken! Just dislocated! I can fix that for you! Just be pacient!_ Michael said.

_Make it fast!_

The pain became to intense that I passed out.

* * *

My arms were cuffed behind my back. My legs were also bound together. I was being dragged by someone across a floor.

_I'm at 37% done. Just a while longer!_ Michael updated me.

I couldn't see everything, my vision was a bit blurry. I knew that Miss Sunday was the one dragging my knees across the floor. My silver bazooka had been taken as well.

We passed by another set of doors.

"VIVI! SCREAVER!" I heard the others shout in terror.

I looked around and saw Luffy, Usopp, Nami, Zoro, and...even Smoker locked up in a big studded cage. The room we were in was gigantic, with glass walls that showed an aquarium.

Vivi was right in front of me.

"Vivi." I said quietly.

-THUD-

I was dropped on the cold floor.

"You're awake I see, Mr. Bartel." Sunday said.

I turned over to glare at her and said, "Go fuck yourself."

Vivi tired to turn around and see me, but Miss Sunday just pushed her forward and she walked down the stairs.

You know, now that I think about it, my head was right underneath Miss Sunday's legs…and she was wearing a short skirt.

_NOW IS NOT THE TIME OR THE PLACE!_

I tried to turn upward, but Miss Sunday kicked me and I fell down the stairs.

"I also found Mr. Bartel with her. I thought that he would want to share their fate with him." Sunday said.

Falling down a flight of stairs when all your bones were broken…yeah, not a pretty picture.

"Ow. -THUD- Ow. -THUD- Ow. -THUD- Ow. -THUD- Ow. -THUD- Ow. -THUD- Ow. **-THUD-** Ooowww."

I looked up and saw Luffy enraged. "HOW DARE YOU HURT MY CREW LIKE THAT! I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!"

Blood was coming from the side of my mouth, but I smiled at him.

"Relax Luffy, focus on Crocodile." I said.

"My humble greetings Vivi, royal princess of Arabasta." A dark and grainy voice said.

I looked up and saw…Crocodile.

Man oh MAN he was scary. He was a big guy with gray skin. His purple hair was sliced back. He wore rich people attire, with a orange pleated shirt and a blue scarf thingy under a big, green fur coat. But worse of all was his face. and he had a strange line of stitches that went straight across his face, from one temple to the other. His eyes were half open and his smile was just…so evil looking.

There is a reason he is..._was_ my favorite villain in One Piece; he's so…EVIIIIIIIIL!

_That dastardly bastard. But he's so cool. But he's EVIL! And made VIVI CRY! THREE TIMES!_

I tired to get up, but my arms and hands were still bound.

_Ok ok, think Screaver. These are metal cuffs, probably Sea Stone. I still have my strength, but I won't be able to break them. I need a key. Wait, he won't give us a key, right? He gives us a fake key, that bastard! But how can I get out of here?_

"PEACOCK SLASHER!"

Vivi's attack woke me from my internal discussion.

-BZZZT-

Vivi slashed Crocodile's head off, but his whole body turned into sand!

"Feel better?" His voice echoed. The sand formed into his body on the opposite side of Vivi and he grabbed her.

"YOU HURT ONE HAIR ON HER HEAD YOU SHITY BAG OF SAND AND YOU'LL REGRET IT!" I shouted in anger.

He looked at me and gave his disgusting smile. "Well well well, Mr. Bartel. DO not worry, I won't be killing anyone just yet."

I glared at him some more and grit my teeth. He pushed Vivi down into a chair.

"I must say, your timing is perfect. The party is about to begin." Crocodile said. "Isn't that right, Miss All Sunday?"

"Yes." She agreed. "It's exactly noon right now. Time for Operation Utopia."

Everyone was confused. Except for me.

Crocodile just began laughing like crazy. I was furiously trying to activate my powers, but it wasn't coming out right.

My mouth began to glow, but when I noticed it changing, the glow stopped.

I smiled.

"It will mean the demise of Arabasta, Miss Wednesday." Crocodile said, looking at Vivi.

She watched in terror as he stated, "I'm going to wipe it off the face of the map as if it never was! All people, great and small, will be sucked into eternal darkness as they writhe in agony!"

I was pulling against my restraints, trying to form my bazookas. But it wasn't working.

_I need to figure out soon._


	66. Chapter 66

Crocodile Does What he Does Best...Being Evil

Alabarna Or...We All Die

"Just what is it you think you're going to do to Arabasta?" Vivi shouted in anger.

Crocodiles stopped laughing.

"Princess, do you want o know the kind of people I despise above all others?" Crocodile asked. "Those pieyas hypocrites who bleed endlessly about the love of the people."

She grit her teeth. "You plan to kill my father? YOU'LL BE DEAD BEFORE YOU CAN GET CLOSE TO HIM!"

"You needent shout. I'm not going to touch a hair on his head. He's not even worth killing! Instead I will let him taste the humiliation that is far crueler than death."

"JUST SHUT UP YA BLOWHEART!" I screamed.

"Miss Sunday, would you please keep him quiet?" Crocodile asked.

A hand formed on my head and clamped my mouth shut.

_Girl didn't learn her lesson I guess._

After Vivi demanded Crocodile to tell her his plan, he did just so. Every…single…detail.

It was revolting to say the least. But what confused me the most was that he said that he assigned agents 1-4 on this job.

_Isn't Mr. 3 gone? Well, maybe he made a mistake or something._

"Well, how do you like it?"He asked.

Vivi looked in complete shock and terror.

"If you hear closely, I wager you can hear the howls of the kingdom. And they all scream the same thing. _Protect Arabasta. Protect Arabasta. Protect…_"

"STOP IIIIIIT!" Vivi screeched. "HOW CAN YOU BE SO CRUEL?"

He laughed some more. "It's heart breaking, isn't it?"

I pulled on my restrains with even more strength.

First, I flipped backward and rammed Miss Sundays' hand into the cage, causing it to disappear and for her to fall to the ground for a minute.

I then flipped back up and opened my mouth.

"IMMA FIREN MA LAAAAZAR! **BLAAAAAAAAAH!**"

-KABOOM-

I launched a blast form my mouth and it hit Crocodile, causing his body to turn into sand.

His body formed back to normal, and he just looked at me disappointedly.

"Well well, you sure are a resourceful one, aren't you? But it was all in vain." He said.

"FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! IF LUFFY CAN'T BEAT YOU, THEN I WILL!"

I kicked so hard that the ropes around my legs snapped.

I dashed forward as fast as I could, completely blind with rage and swiped at him.

-SHING-

His hook dug right into my shoulder.

"SCREAVER!" Luffy screamed.

He picked me up by my neck and threw me into the wall, hard. My head was spinning. Blood ran down my arm.

"Annoying pest." He said.

I think I hit my head too hard, because my vision began to fade to black.

* * *

I woke up to see Crocodile confronting Vivi about the rebel forces. The cuffs around my arms had been taken off and set next to me, with the key inside of the key holes.

"Who uncuffed me?" I said drowsily.

"Screaver! Your ok!"

I tilted my head and saw Usopp, smiling through the cage.

"If you wish to catch them, you better leave immediately Miss Wednesday." Corcodile said loudly, turning my attention back to him.

I looked and saw Miss Sunday, still holding my backpack.

She was looking at the weather-ball.

"HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!"

I tried to get to my feet, but my brain wasn't functioning properly and I fell to the floor.

She looked at me. "What is this exactly?" She asked.

I tried to get back up. "It's a keepsake! Please, if I'm going to die, just let me die with that in my hands!"

She seemed skeptical. "Why should I trust you? It could be a weapon for all I know."

"PLEASE! DON'T TAKE AWAY THE ONLY THING I HAVE LEFT TO REMEMBER MY MOTHER!" I lied.

Miss Sunday seemed startled by this.

_That's right, I know your dirty little secret._

She scoffed and rolled it to the floor. Crocodile didn't seem to notice.

I grabbed it and held onto it tightly.

"That was from your mother?" Usopp asked me.

"I lied. Shush!" I told him quietly.

Apparently a Banana-gator has just swallowed the key to the cell.

"Well, that sucks." I said.

Crocodile taunted us some more before leaving with Miss Sunday. He also happened to mention that the room we were in will be flooded in one hour.

"It's either the lives of 1,000,000 innocent Arabasta citizens, or the lives of five measly pirates. It's time to chose."

He even began insulting the old man in Yuba!

"Even when everyone else left, he stays, pecking away at a oasis that is long dead."

That apparently gave him a chuckle.

"Do you wonder how a sandstorm can hit a town so perfectly?" He asked.

It just clicked in all of our heads.

"IT WAS YOU!" Luffy screamed in anger.

Crocodile made his hand form into a swirling sandstorm and then laughed some more.

Crocodile and Miss Sunday had already begun walking away.

"Screaver! You're hurt!" Luffy shouted in fear.

I waved at him and smiled. "Oh this? I'm fine, really."

I struggled to my feet.

"I'll be ok in a few minutes, but what about the alligators?" I asked.

-WHOOSH-

Several more trap doors sprung up and hush geysers of water shot out.

"We're all gonna drown if we don't do something quick!" Usopp said in terror.

Vivi was crying even more. "So it's either my country, or my friends."

She thought about attacking Crocodile, but she dropped her weapon and began crying some more.

I stood up, holding the wound on my shoulder.

"How about both?" Is said.

She looked up at me.

"We ain't gonna die anytime soon. I'll get that key."

She smiled through her tears. I bent over and gave her the weather-ball.

"Hold this please. Don't loose it." I told her.

"Screaver! You shouldn't move yet! You're still hurt!" Nami shouted.

I armed my bazooka. "BRING IT YA DAMN GATORS!"

"Get us out Screaver!" Luffy shouted.

"Begging for you life, eh Strawhat Luffy?" Crocodile asked. He was still in ear-shot of our conversation. "There's no shame in that."

"I'm not begging!" Luffy shouted back. "IT JUST THAT IF I DIE, WHO ELSE IS GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS?"

He chuckled. "Don't flatter yourself, small-fry."

"YOU'RE A SMALL FRY WHO THINKS HE'S A BIG SHOT!" Luffy shouted some more.

-THUD-

Crocodile had snapped his fingers and a large trap door came up. A huge gator that touched the roof crawled out and looked down at us.

It was mainly looking at Vivi.

When it brought it's jaws down on Vivi, I stepped in and grabbed it's mouth.

It struggled, but I wouldn't let go of it's lower jaw.

"Excuse me but...WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

-BUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUP-

We heard Crocodile's Den Den Mushi ring. I was still gripping the gator's jaw.

When Miss Sunday picked it up, we all heard who was on the other line.

"Hello? Can you hear me? Hey pal is this thing working alright?"

It was Sanji's voice alright.

"Yeah hello there, you've reached the Crap Café."

"Crap Café?" Crocodile asked.

"That ring a bell? It should." Sanji's voice said. "But in case it doesn't, let me jog your memory. Little Garden."

_Must have been the time when he was inside Mr. 3's headquarters on Little Garden._

"Ah yes." Crocodile said. "Mind telling me who you are?"

Sanji's voice said, "Me? Well…you can just call me Mr. Prince."

I smacked my forehead in annoyance.

"Of all the stupid shit…" I said quietly.

After some more conversation, a gunshot was heard and it sounded like Sanji was taken out.

Everyone was freaking out about that.

Vivi made a mad dash for the exit. The gator tried to go after her, but I still had my hand clamped on his jaw.

"I'm going to help out you know who! We may still have a chance against them if I can get him!" Vivi said.

"Good! I can't handle all of them! And don't forget about Chopper!" I shouted back to her.

In a whirl of sand however, Vivi was knocked off the stairs. And there stood Crocodile.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and bring Mr. Prince to join you! I hope you don't mind corpses!" And he left up the stairs.

I wanted to punch him, but the gator was taking up all my strength. I knew I couldn't punch in out, so I just had to keep it immobilized.

Vivi got back up however and ran up the stairs.

"I will get you out of there! I'm not going to abandon you, I promise! I'll be right back with help!" She shouted.

I finally brought my fist upward and punched the giant lizard under the jaw.

-BAM-

It was sent backwards a little, and crashed into the windows, causing the room to flood with even more water.

"Hurry Screaver!" Usopp shouted.

"YOU TRY AND DO THIS!" I shouted and leaped towards the gator.

"MEEM BUSTER!"

I fired a blast out of my mouth and it hit the giant lizard square in the nose. I followed up with a punch to the side of it's snout and then kicked it in the eye.

It roared in anger and swung around, swatting me with it's tail.

"NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!"

I stopped myself from hitting the wall too hard by making my leg cannons absorb most of the shock. I smiled as I launched myself back into the fight and tackled it again.

"MEGA BUSTER! BAZOOKA KICK! 64 HIT COMBO!"

After a long battle, I brought the beast down. It fell over with a moan, covered in bruises and burnt scales.

"One down! WHO'S NEXT?"

Another gator popped up out of the water.

"GOD DAMN IT ALL!" shouted.

Apparently while I was fighting the second one, Smoker was saying something about Miss Sunday and Crocodile inside the cage.

Nice how they were having a little conversation when I was about to get eaten.

"It's really impolite to make a lot of noise at meal time like you just did." I heard a voice say.

"Oh I know -cough- who that is."

-KABAM-

A huge whirlwind of force was sent right through the gator's stomach, almost ripping through it's belly. It's eyes rolled into the back of it's head as it was propelled of the ground.

Sanji was standing there, leg up high, smoking his cigarette.

"BAD MANNERS KICK COURSE!"

"Bout damn time." I said, falling over into the water.

"Hey guys." He said smoothly, breathing out some smoke. "Been waiting long?"

"Too long –_cough_-" I said. He looked down at me and offered a hand.

After pulling me up, he doused his cigarette.

"How you feeling? You up for a little more fighting?" He asked with a smile on his face.

I grinned back. "I don't care how hungry I am, I'm always really for a fight!"

We high fived, but it was a MANLY high five.

Until he looked at Nami and began doing his pervert dance.

"NAMI MY DEAR! DO YOU LOVE ME NOOOOW?" He shouted.

I hit him upside the head in anger. "GET IT TOGETHER!"

"VIVI! ALRIGHT! WAY TO GO!" Luffy cheered and stuck his thumbs up.

I looked up and saw that Vivi was safe at the top of the stairs. She gave her thumbs up right back at him.

Sanji looked at me and cracked his neck. We watched as the room flooded with even more banana-gators.

"I hit them high, you hit them low." I said.

"Sounds good." He said back.

We ran towards the first gator. He ducked under it's head and I leaped over.

"BAD MANNERS KICK COURSE!"

"BAZOOKA PUNCH!"

Our attacks smashed the gator's head inward and it fell over dead. We went to work on the next one. AND the next one.

Sanji gave one of his big kicks to the stomach of one of the gators, and a big white ball shot out of it's mouth.

"KEY!" Usopp and Luffy cheered.

"WAX WAX BALL!"

-CRACK-

The ball cracked open and…Mr. 3 popped out.

SHIT!

He looked pretty dried up, literally. He was practically skin and bones. Must have been Crocodile's doing.

He cried in happiness as he took big gulps of water and his body rehydrated.

"Stupid Mr. 6. Thinking you could catch me and steal my position did you? Well when I find you, you'll be SORRY!" He yelled.

"Mr. 6?" I said, confused as hell.

He looked down and picked up the key. When he saw the guys stuck in the cave, and took in the surroundings, he understood the situation.

"Hey, shithead, give me the key." I said and held out my hand.

He freaked out when he saw me, but he just recollected his cool and threw the key in the midst of several gators.

"You think I'll help you? After all you did to me?" He asked and held out his hand.

"Wait Screaver! He could be useful!" Usopp said. "Like using his wax powers to make a key!"

"Oh really?" I said, grinning widely.

* * *

In a matter of minutes we had beaten Mr.3, forced him to open the cage, and Luffy and Zoro defeated all the remaining gators.

It was that quick.

The walls began to crack.

"Um, guys." I tried to say.

"I CAN TAKE ON A HUNDRED OF THOSE WEIRD BANANAS!" Luffy bellowed in rage.

"Guys." I said again.

"Man those guys have crazy strength." Usopp said.

"GUYS!"

"WHAT?" They shouted back.

I pointed to the cracking walls.

Their faces told me that they got the message.

-BOOM- -CRASH- -SPLASH- -WHOOSH-

The walls gave way and the room flooded with water. A huge wave was about to smash into Nami, but I instinctively grabbed her and took most of the shock.

-BOWOOOSH-

I think that's the sound I heard.

We were all pushed through the water. I wasn't able to see much, just a vague shape of Nami. She pointed me to the surface of the lake.

With a loud splash we all resurfaced on the shore of the lake.

I gasped for air and coughed loudly. The sheer forced of that wave had knocked all the wind out of me.

"Thank you…_huff_…Screaver." Nami said, rubbing my back.

"Twurd nothin."

Vivi was the next person to resurface, pulling an unconscious Usopp by his nose.

"Wake up Usopp! Please!" She implored him.

"I'll go help her out." Nami told me.

Sanji came up, and pulled ashore an inflated Luffy. He stepped on his belly and the water shot out of his mouth like a geyser.

"Jeez, why would a pirate want devil fruit powers if it means he can't swim?" He said.

"They probably never thought that far…_huff_…ahead." I said back.

Finally Zoro came up, and pulled ashore…Smoker?

"Zoro, what are you doing? In case you forgot, that guy's are enemy!" Sanji yelled at him.

"BACK OFF!" Zoro said in his defense. "I didn't want to do it! But he was about to die, that's all!"

"Now's not the time!" I broke them up. "We got to get going! Vivi, can we make it to Alabarna?"

"I don't know!" She said back, ringing out her coat.

"Nami, you still have that perfume I bought you?" Sanji asked her.

She nodded. He then said, "Put some of it on, please."

"Kay!" She said and sprayed it on her neck. Sanji began acting all lovesick and shouting, "Just one whiff of it makes me swoon like a schoolboy in love!"

It did smell good, but I still shouted, "DAMN PERVERT!"

"RORANOA!"

-CLANK-

Smoker tried to stab Zoro with his staff, but Zoro countered it.

"Why did you save my life?" He asked.

It was one of those moments where you would think that Zoro would say, _because I love you._

If that would have happened, I would have laughed my ass off.

But thankfully, he put away his sword and said, "I just followed my captain's orders, that's it."

I sighed in relief.

_Good, don't want any homo-eroticism in this story. Not that I have a problem with gays. Just…Zoro being gay…uuuuuuugh!_

Luffy and Usopp woke up, shouting like lunatics. Luffy saw Smoker and challenged him to a fight.

"I should," Smoker said, "but you just saved my life."

He told us that he would let us go, for now.

More marines were charging towards us.

"So Vivi, which way to Alabarna?" Sanji asked.

"That way!" Vivi shouted and pointed towards the city. "Do east, across the desert!"

"YOU HEARD THE LADY!" I cheered. "TO ALABARNA!"


	67. Chapter 67

**Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Well, it was for me anyways. Well, after I filled up on turkey and ham, I decided to type the next chapter. So...here ya go. And be on the look out for another chapter this week.**

* * *

Hitching A Ride

The Batle for Arabasta Draws Nigh!

"I SEE THEM! AFTER THEM!" A marine shouted.

We were all charging through the city, dodging all marine forces that tried to stop us.

"HEY!" Usopp complained. "Please don't tell me you plan on running all the way to Alabarna?"

"Got a problem with that?" I shouted back.

"We still got Eyelash!" Nami said. "Where the hell is that stupid camel anyway?"

"Doesn't this town have a stable?" Luffy suggested. "Let's find some horses!"

"A good idea Luffy, but the whole place is crawling with Marine forces!" I told him.

"You don't even have to worry, look!"Sanji shouted and pointed up ahead.

-THUD- THUD- THUD-

The sound on quick, heavy footsteps came from the desert.

We all stopped and saw Chopper…riding a huge crab.

_Fuck it, I'm not even surprised anymore._

It was the size of a blimp, with a red shell and half closed eyes. It also had a sly smile on it's face, with a long rope attached to it's mouth.

"HEY GUYS! HOP ON!" Chopper shouted. He was the one pulling the ropes.

The giant crab scuttled to a stop and looked down at us.

"AHHH! CRAB!" Usopp shouted in fear.

"That's a…Moving Crab!" Vivi said in delight.

"YUMMY!" Luffy shouted.

I hit him over the head. "Eat it and I eat you." I warned him.

"Is it me, or does it's face look kind of shady?" Nami said in caution.

Luffy stretched up and grabbed it's eye stock. The rest of us went up in pairs as it lowered claws and pulled us up to it's brown hair.

Don't know how a crab could have hair, but hey what do I know?

"Say hello. This is Eyelashes' friend." Chopper introduced us. "He's nice, but kinda pervy."

"Thought as much. I mean he is friends with that perv camel." I said, glaring at the camel.

"Judging by his size, I bet this guy's pretty fast." Zoro stated.

"OK! Time to MOVE OUT!" Chopper cheered. "Hold on everyone, and GO!" And whipped the rope.

-VROOOM-

The crab sped off with incredible speed.

"GAAAAAH!" I heard Vivi scream.

We turned around and saw Vivi be pulled off the crab by a golden hook, connected to a stream of sand.

"CROCODILE! LET HER GO!"

"CHOPPER! STOP THE CRAB!" Zoro shouted.

The crab skit to a halt.

"IT'S HIM!" Luffy shouted in anger and stretched his arms to grab the hook. He grabbed the hook and pulled Vivi out, throwing her back onto the crab.

Actually no, throwing her onto me.

-THUD-

"Watch it Luffy!"

"YOU GUYS GO ON AHEAD! DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME!" He shouted back to us.

"That damn idiot!' Sanji cursed.

"MAKE SURE YOU DELIVER VIVI HOME! SAFE AND SOUND, YA HEAR ME?" Luffy shouted again as he dropped to the sand.

His confident smile made us all jump.

"You heard the man Chopper, " I said, "step on it!"

He gulped. "Right! LET'S GO CRAB!"

He tugged the rope and the crab sped off.

Usopp began complaining at me about letting him fight on his own.

I hit him upside the head once he said, "Well if Luffy's gone, then you better protect me ya hear?"

"WE GOT TO GO BACK!" Vivi screamed and tried to jump off. Nami held her back.

"It'll be fine Vivi. You have to trust me on this ok? I seriously feel sorry for the other guy! Luffy shows no mercy to his prey! And there hasn't been a single person he's gone after that's walked away!" Nami encouraged her.

_Well, he went after me…_

_That doesn't count and you know that Screaver._ Michael contradicted me.

_Shut up Micky._

"Crocodile will fail, Luffy will win! It's that simple." Zoro said with determination.

He went on, "The moment that the rebel armies started running, this land's final hour was set. Once the Royal Army and the Rebel Army meet, this country, the kingdom of Arabasta will be gone forever. If you truly are the one and only hope for preventing that tragedy, then you must survive no matter what. So, from this moment forward, what happens to Luffy, or any of us for that matter, isn't the least bit important!"

Vivi stared at him in shock.

I did to! Who knew Zoro could be profound?

"Vivi," Sanji added in, "this is a fight that you, and you alone started. You're the one who bravely left this land years ago and made a decision to stand up against a corrupt and evil organization."

"But just because you started it," I added in, "don't think that you're the only one left to finish it."

She looked up at us all.

"Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Usopp, Chopper, and me. We are all here with you now and we are all going to give our lives to take Crocodile's gang of assholes down and burry them in the sand."

Everyone was speechless at what we all said.

That is until Usopp stood up, shaky knees, and said, "YEAH! That's right! Don't worry cause…Captain Usopp is going to protect YOOOOU!"

I frowned as he began to cry in fear, in comedy of course.

Vivi stood up and smiled. She turned to where Luffy landed and shouted, "LUUUUFFY! WE'LL BE WAITING FOR YOOOOU! WE'LL BE IN ALABARNA!"

"**YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAH!"** He shouted so loudly that we could hear him from a mile away.

* * *

We sped through the sand for a few minutes, until a huge tornado of sand formed out from where Luffy was.

"I see a huge sandstorm heading towards Rainbase!" Vivi reported.

Everyone looked uneasy.

I turned to her. "Have faith. Do not worry about Luffy. Focus on the task ahead."

I turned to everyone else. "Luffy will win. He won't be beaten by a stupid bag of sand like Crocodile. Don't worry about Luffy! He can take care of himself!"

I don't think my boost of confidence was helping much.

_Ok, I know Luffy lost. But they can't know that, we need to focus on the task ahead._

* * *

An hour passed by, nothing but the sound of Usopp shouting his tall tales.

"And that's why, up to this day, that crab's have been self-conscious about being bowlegged." He finished to Chopper.

Zoro was weight lifting the camel as it sat on top of his sword, like it was a dumb bell.

"Zoro, give it a rest will you?" Nami complained.

"Who asked you?" Zoro said rudely.

"Watch your tone, stupid swordsman." I said back.

"Keep _your_ mouth shut, lover boy." He said, equally as rude to me.

"Excuse them Nami, they're hopeless." Sanji said.

"Oh shut up perv!" I shouted at him.

"Guys like Zoro gotta keep moving or they won't stay focused." Sanji continued. "And Screaver, well he's just stupid."

I was fed up.

"I'm sick of your bullshit Sanji!"

He sneered at me and turned to Zoro. "Besides, they're both just doing this tough guy act to mask the fear that Luffy just might loose this one."

Zoro got pissed about that. "OH IT THAT RIGHT HUH?"

"Damn it Sanji! How can you say that? It's Luffy we're talking about!" I protested.

Sanji pointed to me. "You're trying to fool yourself into thinking that Luffy won't lose as well! It's pathetic!"

I grit my teeth. "Say another word and I'll shove my fist down your throat, Perv-cook!"

"So you think I'm afraid huh? Is that what your saying?" Zoro yelled in anger. "LOOK AT ME, FANCY-EYEBROW!"

Sanji got ticked at that. "I've had enough of you! YA DAMN MOSSHEAD!"

"Damn it you morons! Now's not the time to fight each other!"

The both glared at me and shouted, "SHUT UP STUPID BOY!"

"**RAAAAAAAH!**"

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

Nami pounded us all in the head before we got with in fighting-range of each other.

"Cut it out, this is pointless!" She said.

"Please calm down!" Vivi tried to soothe us. "Everyone's frightened yes, but we mustn't turn on each other. Luffy's counting on us to meet him in Alabarna."

We all calmed down.

"Sorry about that Vivi." Sanji said with a sly smile.

"If we turn on each other then we've already lost." Zoro concluded.

I looked up as the sun began to set.

"Oh, Screaver." Vivi told me.

She dug around in her coat and pulled out my weather-ball.

I sighed in relief. "Thank you Vivi."

I took it back and tucked it inside my bag.

"Damn. Miss Sunday still has by bazooka." I cursed.

"Well, now that that's out of the way, let's direct our full attention to getting to Alabarna!" Nami cheered. "FULL SPEED AHEAD SCISSORS!"

The crab, Scissors I'm guessing, increased his speed and charged through the desert.

* * *

Everyone spent the next several minutes debating on what to do about the Sandora River. Some said swim, other's said force the crab to do it.

But for some reason, the crab is a desert creature and wouldn't survive in the water.

"It's a fucking crab!" I shouted in anger.

"I know, Scissors loves dancer girls!" Chopper remembered.

_Dancer girls?_

Nami ripped off her coat, revealing the _revealing_ outfit she had on under it. A blue and purple brassiere, arm bracelets, and a long skirt that only covered half of her hips, leaving her bare belly showing.

My reaction was the same as Sanji's and Eyelashes'; "HOTHOTHOT!"

"Will this do?" She asked innocently.

"Probably." Chopper said quickly.

The crab's eyes turned around and looked at Nami's body.

-DING-

Hearts formed in it's eyes as his legs moved faster. And faster. AND FASTER!

-VROOOOOOOM-

It began moving five times faster than a race car!

"PERVERT POWER!"

"That's disgusting." Usopp said in disappointment.

_WTF! But you...Ugh._

Where was I? Oh yeah…

-**VROOOOOOOOOOM**-

It moved so fast, it ran across the water with ease.

"YEAH! GO GO GO! I LOVE HIS CRAB!" Usopp cheered.

I did to, only until it began sinking into the water.

Then I got an idea.

"Hey crab!" I shouted.

The crab turned it's eyes at me, expecting to see another show.

I glared at it evilly.

"_You sink into the water and I'll turn you into CRAB CAKES!" _I said in a loud and possessed voice.

The pupils on it's eyes shrunk as we came back out of the water. It moved even faster across the water.

"A little much?" Sanji suggested.

"Hey, I don't want to get wet." I said.

-WHOOSH-

The crab stopped and we were pushed up by a giant force of water. On further inspection, we saw it was, in fact, a giant catfish.

Like Laboon-sized catfish.

…I'm not even surprised anymore.

"It's a Sandora Catfish!" Vivi explained. "They're rarely seen by humans!"

"Oh really? Then WHY ARE WE ON TOP OF ONE?" I shouted in fear.

It looked up at us and licked it's giant lips.

"Did I mention they like to eat human flesh?" She added in.

"Good to know." I said, not even surprised.

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

The catfish groaned in pain as something was hitting it from bellow the water. Like an elevator, the catfish started sinking. All the while we were still on top of the crab, on top of the giant fish.

Funny how life works like that.

When the fish reached the bottom, it's head was still sticking out of the water, a bunch of Sea Dugongs leaped out of the water and cheerfully squealed at us.

"They say they were looking out for their fellow pupils." Chopper translated.

"Pupils? They think that Luffy is our master?" Usopp said in disapproval.

"Do you want to argue with the creatures that beat you in under 3 seconds?" I reminded him.

He kept quiet.

* * *

The Dugongs grabbed onto the giant whiskers of the beast and began pulling us the rest of the way across the river.

When we disembarked, we left the crab back on the giant fish and thanked it for it's help. I also apologized for the threatening. Chopper says that _he_ said it was no biggy.

"Wait! How are we gonna get to Alabarna then?" Usopp complained.

Nami was looking out to some desert dunes. She gasped and turned to us.

"Look! Over there!" She cheered.

We all looked out and heard the sound of running footsteps. A cloud of sand was moving towards us.

Vivi's expression turned into hope as she saw who they belonged to.

The sand cleared up and we saw…a huge collection of the _weirdest_ ducks I've ever seen.

You ever know someone with a collection of rubber duckys? With hats and ties and different costumes? Imagine them all the size of ostriches and with even weirder costumes.

Carue was leading them, must have made it back ok. But the rest were almost nothing alike! One had a Viking helmet, one had a fedora hat and sunglasses, one was like a samurai, an air pilot, a hippie, and a gangster with a backwards hat.

Weird ducks, that's all I'm saying.

"It's Carue! And the Super Sonic Duck Squadron!" Vivi told us.

"How convenient!" I cheered.

* * *

They saluted us as we all mounted a duck.

Never thought I ever say that in my life time.

I chose the big one with the Viking hat because…I like Vikings.

Vivi was hugging Carue and asking him if he was ok. He squawked back happily.

"Before we leave, there is one thing we need to go over." Sanji said.

"Let's hurry."


	68. Chapter 68

War of Alabarna

The Concert of Mr. 6/3

Before we left, Sanji got the idea to split up and distract the agents while Vivi stayed back and go stop the rebel forces.

The results for the raffle were:

Nami and Zoro (Don't ask, pissed me off enough)

Usopp and Chopper (the camel decided to stay in the palace when no one was looking)

Sanji and me (WHY? WHY? GOOD GOD WHY?)

We sped ahead of Vivi, in our matching white cloaks, as we approached the city.

A city on a hill was what I'd like to call it. The only way to get into the city were several giant stair cases, probably guarded already.

No matter, we charged ahead.

-KABOOM-

A shot was fired at us, our ducks dodged it.

I looked ahead and saw a small group of people near on of the gates.

"_SPLIT UP!_" I said in my best soprano voice.

Usopp fired at one of them, I couldn't see all their faces. He and Chopper ran of to the far gate. As for Zoro and Nami, they ran to the second farthest gate.

I saw who I was going for; Mr. Bloomer Queer himself.

I charged my duck right at his stupid face, but he leaped over us as we ran up the closest gate.

We charged up the steps as the guards looked at us.

"_LEAP!_"I said in my impersonation.

"It's the Super Sonic Duck Squadron! Let them pass!" I heard the guards yell.

We leaped over the sand backs they had packed up and charged past the cloaked guards.

"How long should we keep running?" Sanji shouted.

"_Now's far enough!_" I told him.

We were at a street of buildings when we stopped our ducks.

Mr. 2 was running towards us, still in a ballerina pose.

"NOW STOP, PRINCESS!" He yelled at us, exasperated.

Sanji tried to give a girl voice as well, but it was so bad that I almost busted out into laughter.

"NOW REVEAL!"

-SWOOSH-

We ripped off out coats.

"TO BAD! LOOKS LIKE YOUR GUESS WAS WRONG!"

_This has been…another moment that makes me proud to be a straw hat pirate._

"WHAAAAAAT?" He yelled and began stamping his foot in anger.

I dismounted and cracked my knuckles.

"Your dead, faggot."

Mr. 2 raised and eyebrow and cracked a smile.

"Hehehehe…AHAHAHAHAAA!"

He broke out into stupid laughter.

"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?" Sanji yelled in anger.

Mr. 2 calmed down and smiled at us. "Did you really think that your split tactic would work with us? We're Baroque Works agents, the masters of sneaky planning!"

"Doesn't matter, Vivi is still safe!" Sanji shouted at him.

Mr. 2 laughed again. "Oh don't worry, we left the newly appointed Mr. 3 to guard the gate just in case you thought to send her after!"

I gulped.

"MR. 3 IS GONE! NEWLY APOINTED MR. 3? WHAT THE HELL?"

He laughed again. He held up his fists.

"Oh relax. Focus on the battles at hand! I'll defeat you long before you get a chance to safe your dear princess!"

-RUMBLE-

The sounds of cannons echoed the city. Mr. 2 grinned even wider.

"Looks like your Princess was unable to stop them. How unfortunate. Now it's time for you both to die!"

He lunged at me.

-BAM-

Sanji lifted his leg and kicked the queer into a wall.

He looked at me, rather pissed off. "Oy Screaver, go take care of Vivi."

_WHAT?_

I was shocked. "Why?"

He grit his teeth. "Normally I would be the one to go save her but...I think I should face this guy. I don't know why. Besides, it just shows that I'm the bigger man."

"OH HEEEEEEEELL NO!"

Sanji smiled and stepped forward.

"GO! FIND VIVI!"

"No sense in figthing it."

I nodded and ran back through the city.

_Not such a pervert after all._

* * *

Fighting had already broken out in the streets. Rebel soldiers, wearing mismatched clothing, were fighting various uniformed royal soldiers.

I was trying to stay away from both of them, until arrows sprouted the ground around my feet.

"It's one of the rebel soldiers! Kill him!"

On one side were royal guards, armed with bows and arrows.

I was going to go the other way until bullets were shot around my feet.

"It's a royal soldier! Kill him!"

Rebels with guns aimed at me.

I groaned.

"I work for no one…"

-BAM-

My fist went through the face of one of the rebels.

"I'M A PIRATE MOTHERFUCKER!"

* * *

After fighting through a few waves of various soldiers, I was able to find a quiet alleyway to rest as the battle raged on.

_Mr. 3 is here? That can't be true! We beat him silly and left him back at Rain Dinners! No way no how he could come back a second time!_

_Another anomaly I suspect._ Michael suggested.

_Where is Vivi? Can you find her?_

_I'm not a GPS, you try to find her._ Michael said.

I shook my head. I had to find Vivi, now.

-BANG-

"CARUE!" I heard Vivi scream.

"BINGO!" I shouted. "AND OH SHIT!"

I ran as fast as I could to the source of the sound.

To my relief, it was Vivi and Carue.

Carue was on the ground, bloody and bruised.

A rebel soldier was above her, probably one of the Baroque Works agent in disguise, about to bring his sword down on her.

OH HEEEEEEEEELL NO!

-BAM-

"BAZOOKA KICK!"

I dug my foot bazooka into his face and sent him flying.

"SCREAVER!" Vivi yelled in happiness.

I smiled down at her. I nodded. "At yer service, Madame."

Two more rebel soldiers charged at us, but I side stepped and gave two bullet punches to their guts, sending them flying.

"I'll take care of Carue, you need to get to the palace!" I told her.

"But what about him?" She shouted and pointed past me.

Behind me was a cloaked figure.

"I knew we'd see each other again, Screaver Bartel."

Whoever he was, he pulled off his cloak.

When I saw him, my heart skipped a beat.

It was the man I met at the music festival; Hendrick, holding his guitar and smiling slightly.

Why didn't I see it before? Those loopy tattoos on his arms, they were 6's! But those tattoos now had two threes written over with red.

He flashed his yellow teeth. "I just never thought it would had turned out like this."

"You…you're Mr. 3?" I asked.

"Technically I was Mr. 6, but after I caught Mr. 3 and brought him to Mr. 0 as a favor he _promoted_ me to Mr. 3 to fill in the new spot."

He adjusted his guitar strap. "And I'm afraid I have to kill both of you, terribly sorry."

I turned back to Vivi. Carue had been taken out of the way by two other members of the duck squad.

"Vivi…go."

She nodded. "Good luck Screaver."

She got up and ran off into the chaos.

I turned and cracked my knuckles. "You'll have to beat me before you get a chance."

Hendrick, or Mr. 6 or Mr. 3, shrugged. "It's never that easy…"

"What happened to your partner?"

He thought for a moment. "Who? Oh you mean Ms. Mother's Day? Well, you see we had a...unfortunate misunderstanding a few weeks back."

"So you killed her."

"Not just like that. Honestly you make it sound like I'm the bad guy here." He said sympathetically.

-KABOOM-

I instantly fired a shot at him with my arm gun.

He seemed to see it coming though and strummed his guitar.

"Key of D, Chord of Defense."

-BEOOOOOOOOW-

He played a loud note and a sonic-boom like force intercepted my shot, like a force field of some kind.

I shrugged. "Ok, long distance won't work, I'll try close distance!"

I dashed forward.

He strummed again.

"Key of A, Chord of Attack."

-BEEEEEOOOOBEEOOOOOOW-

Another shockwave came out, but it was red and hit me hard in the chest.

The force made my ears ring and I was send backwards, almost falling over.

He smiled. "Now now Mr. Bartel, is this all a 30,000,000 berri bounty man can do?"

"FLASH STEP!"

-WHOOSH-

I appeared behind him and tried to kick him in the back.

He somehow dodged in a sweeping motion, ramming the edge of his guitar into my side.

-BAM-

I think he broke one of my ribs with that hit. I was sent crashing into the wall.

"Shit…WHAT ARE YOU?"

He shrugged. "Surely you should know?"

I wiped my mouth. He just stood there talking.

"I have a special ability known as the Color of Observation, which gives me the ability to predict your every move in battle. There is no way you will be able to get the drop on me."

_The what?_

_I think he means Haki. It's the one that can predict moves._

I smirked. "Well that makes you all sorts of special. But that doesn't mean that you'll be the victor."

"I think is does. No matter what you do, I'll be able to counter it easily. I've done all the right calculations."

"MEGA BUSTER!"

-KABOOM-

"Chord of Defense!"

-BEOOOOOOW-

In the midst of the attack I ran into the hole I made in his barrier.

"BAZOOKA PUNCH!"

He side stepped again. He dropped his leg and kicked upward, right into my chest.

I spat blood.

He strummed a new note.

"Key of C sharp, Chord of Confusion."

-BEOBEOBEOBEOOOOOW-

A purple force hit me and my head began to spin.

I couldn't see straight, a loud, indescribable sound was echoing in my head at full blast. I was wobbling back and forward, a wave of nausea came over me and my head was pulsing wildly. I felt like my whole head was going to explode.

-BAM-

He brought his guitar down on my spine, crushing me into the ground.

"FLASH…STEP!"

I was able to get out of there before he was able to make a second hit.

I tried to collect my thoughts, but I was still woozy from that last blast. My head was still spinning. My back was hurt, no blood except from my mouth.

He grinned. "How do you like my style?"

I spit blood on the ground. "Your music sucks."

He shrugged. "Everyone's a critic."

_Ok. He has a defense move, an attack move, and a sort of concussion blast. His attacks are based off of music scales. So he should only have about 7 attacks. Wait, he also has sharps, probably flats as well._

I had another idea. I ran forward and, as per usual, he anticipated my attack and kicked me back.

"A double flash step and a leg sweep, followed by another blast." Mr. 3 said with his eyes closed. "Won't work."

-BAM-

I was pretty pissed off.

_Wait, people with this power, they can only dodge if it's planned. What if I attacked randomly?_

I closed my eyes.

"What are you doing?" I heard him say.

I ran towards him.

"Chord of Attack."

-BEEOBEEOOOOW-

I always had good ears. I listened to where his blast was going and dodged it with my eyes closed.

I kept running forward.

"It won't work…"

I stopped and twirled.

_I just need to keep the beat. One and two and NOW!_

-KABOOM-

With my eyes closed, I fired my bazooka.

-KABOOM-

It must have hit something.

I opened my eyes and saw Mr. 3, standing with his guitar smoking and broken in two.

He glared at me evilly. "Didn't expect you to curve the bullet. You'll pay for that asshole."

_I did what now? Nevermind._

I smiled evilly back at him. "Bring it bitch."


	69. Chapter 69

**Sorry for the late update, I have been SOOOOO busy this week. At my school, in my jazz group, we call the week before a big show Hell Week. But it's pass now, and here is the new chapter.**

* * *

Round 2

And Round 3 In One Chapter

Mr. 3 dropped his broken guitar and held up his fists. The guitar seemed to dissolve away.

"Hope you didn't think all I could do was play the guitar." He said.

I grinned. "Would be too easy if that was true."

He took a stance. I took mine as well.

He cracked his neck. I popped my wrists.

"GEAAAAAH!"

-BAM-

I punched but he blocked it with his wrist. He struck back and whacked me in the shoulder.

I tried to side step, but he went exactly where I planed on going and kicked my hip.

"I know every move you will make, as soon as you make it." He said calmly.

I was thrown back. I took off the sack I was carrying.

"I can't fight in this…"

-RIP-

I ripped off the desert garb, revealing my chest and arms.

"Now I'm being serious."

I got in my boxer stance.

Mr. 3 chuckled. "So you took off your shirt. What is that suppose to do?"

-BAM-

I flash stepped so fast that he was not able to dodge and I punched him in the gut, sending him flying.

"It is because that I took my shirt off that I will win."

_Rule of Anime: any good guy who takes off his shirt gets a power boost! BEYOTCH!_

_Umm...I don't think thats actually a rule..._ Michael interupted.

_SHAAAAAAT AAAAAP!_

"Like I said before, bring it bitch!"

He punched back but I dodged again. He brought his other fist down on me, but I grabbed it and threw him around. However he was able to kick off the wall and push me back.

-BAM-

He rammed his arm into my chest. I stepped backward.

I charged again, but he leaped over me and stepped on my head, pushing me into the ground.

"It's no use." He said.

I tried to grab his foot, but he lifted it just before I could and stamped my head again.

He kicked me into the wall.

"I have to say, I'm impressed with you so far. But it won't be enough to beat me." He said and punched me in the face.

I was tired already. My head still hadn't recovered from that concussion he gave me, and his other attacks drained me of my energy. Plus that old familiar pain in my chest was getting worse.

_I have to finish him in one blast. I need to use the Demon Hunter._

I drew my bazooka.

He raised an eyebrow. "You have devil fruit powers? No…not that…something else."

"You're about the first person to realize that." I said _gratefully._

-BAM-

In a flash he dashed towards me and kneed me in the gut.

"GAH!"

I was sent backwards as he pressed his attack. I tried to dodge but for every time I dodged in one place, he would attack in my unguarded spot.

He flipped backwards. I rubbed my face. He got my left eye pretty good. I was bruised all on my body.

_How can I beat this guy? Luffy's the only one who can counter Haki, and I don't have Gum Gum powers!_

_Think Screaver! There has to be something you can do!_ Michael encouraged me.

Thinking…Thinking…THINKING…

-POP-

_Crap, anther brain vessel just popped._

I was stumped. The only way I thought I could beat him was to either outrun his movements or shut off my conscious brain.

He can already dodge my flash step, and I don't plan on shutting my brain off.

I was stumped. I cracked a smile.

"Well, seeing as how everyone else is discovering a new technique, I guess I'm gonna learn how to counter Haki, and kick your ass."

He smirked. "Your welcome to try, but in the end you will die."

"I got nothing to loose then!" I stupidly shouted and charged head first.

* * *

The fight went on for what seemed like hours, but apparently only lasted for about ten minutes.

-THUD-

I was bruised and exhausted on the sandy tile, while Mr. 3 was still standing and barely had a scratch on him.

_This isn't working out like I planned it would._

"You really should give up and die quickly. I have to follow out my orders and kill the rest of your crewmates. Nothing personal, just following orders."

I spit a bloody loogie. "I'll kill you before you lay a dirty finger on ANYONE in my crew!"

"What about the Princess? Is she a member of your crew too?" He asked.

"OF COURSE!"

_Thinking…thinking…wait…GOT IT!_

I lunged at him again, but he side stepped and whacked me in the back.

"You never learn do you?" He said, disappointed.

I turned and flashed my bazooka. "EAT IT!"

-KABOOM-

He knocked my bazooka slightly upwards and the blast missed him. I concentrated on the blast as it soared into the sky.

_STOP!_

_The ball of energy slowed._

I SAID STOP!

The ball of energy stopped in mid air.

_HIT THE GUY WITH THE DREDLOCKS!_

The shot blasted forward and exploded right in front of Mr. 3.

"What the fu…"

-KABOOM-

_Never gets old._

We were surrounded in smoke, giving me time to leap out of his range.

The smoke cleared.

His face was filled with shock. His back was smoldering.

"You can only predict an attack from an opponent with a brain. And only predict the attack that's about to hit you. The shots I fire have no conscious, and I'm not directly attacking you, so you can't predict where my new attacks go!"

His shock expression grew into anger. "Play time is over."

He whipped his arm and a purple light formed in his hand. It grew until it had grown into…another guitar. Identical to his previous one.

"Where did that come from?" I asked cautiously.

"I'm done screwing around you little shit. It's time for your final number."

"To think it took you this long to make your first music pun." I noted.

"SILENCE! I'm making the music right now!"

He began playing a loud metal song. His guitar was glowing red.

"Crescendo…"

His power was growing. He made a low pitched roar as he played even faster and harder.

"CRESCENDO!"

His power pulsed and I could begin to feel the heat from his power over 20 feet away.

"Key of F, FINAL CHORD!"

-**BEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW**-

A huge shockwave blasted towards me, obliterating the ground as it fired. Even though I was able to dodge, the sheer force of the attack knocked me over.

-CRASH-

The blast burned a giant rough hole through a three story building, and caused the whole thing to come crashing down.

_SHIT BOOOY!_

"DEMON HUNTER!"

My bazookas grew and changed color.

He was playing his guitar like a mad man.

I charged my cannons.

"FINAL CHORD!"

**-BEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW**-

"DEMON BUSTER!"

-**KABOOOOOM-**

Our attacks clashed. The pure energy of the two entities clashing was tearing the ground apart.

-FSSSSSST-

The two seemed to combine together and cancel out.

_SHIT! It didn't work! And I only got about a few minutes before the pain comes!_

He didn't stop playing.

"FINAL CHORD!"

I had no choice. "DEMON BUSTER!"

-**BOOOOOM-**

Our attacks clashed. While that happened I rushed towards him from behind.

"Defense Chord!"

His defense field was blocking my bazooka, but I kept pushing through.

"NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!"

My bazooka slowly began cutting through his barrier.

"DEFENSE CHORD!"

His barrier pulsed and I was sent backward.

"FINAL CHORD!"

_IT'S ALL IN OR NOTHING!_

"BAZOOKA **PUNCH**!"

His shockwave collided with my bazooka at point black range.

"BAZOOKA **PUNCH**!"

I had to keep going. I could feel the pain in my chest and my cannon, but that wasn't gonna stop me.

My bazooka pulsed, his barrier seemed to crack.

"YOU CAN'T WIN!" Hendrick shouted. "GIVE UP!"

"FOR ARABASTA! AND FOR THE STRAWHAT PIRATES!"

My bazooka finally moved towards his face.

"DEMON HUNTER! **DEMON KNOCKOUT!**"

**-BAM-**

My bazooka broke through his barrier, his guitar, and into his face.

-**DING**-

My bazooka made a loud ding as it bashed into his face and he was sent spiraling into another building.

It sounded suspiciously like the bell they ring to signal the end of a match.

-CRASH- -KABOOM-

My arm was still extended. My bazooka deactivated.

"AND THE WINNER AND ARABASTA CHAMPION IS…SCREAVER **MOTHERFUCKING** D. BARTEL!"

I fell to the ground. The pain was coming, but I seemed to have gotten use to it by now.

Another sliver of light escaped my chest.

_Another few years down the crapper._

I struggled to my feet. Slowly I made my way to the giant whole in the wall.

I looked in the rubble, but I couldn't see Mr. 3 any where.

_Did he disintegrate?_

"You're lucky I don't have time to find you. I need to move on."

I looked to the side and picked up my knapsack, weather-ball in tact.

I slung it over my shoulder and slowly walked towards the grand palace in the distance.

* * *

I took my time getting there. My injuries weren't as severe as they could have been, but I was in a lot of pain and I didn't feel like running.

The palace was engulfed in a giant whirl of sand. In fact, the entire city sky was being covered by one huge cloud of sand.

This was what got me moving.

"OUT OF MY WAY SHIT HEADS!" I announced as I punched a small group of soldiers into the wall.

* * *

After a few minutes I finally made it to the walls of the palace.

A saw a pair of tan arms stretched to the top of the wall.

"LUUUUUUUUFFYYYYYYY!" I cheered before almost falling over.

I ran towards where I saw them and found Luffy with Vivi.

Usopp and Chopper were cheering near them as well. Usopp was covered, head to toe, with bandages. Sanji was with the camel, a little battered but otherwise in better shape than me.

-BANG-

"USOPP! Who asked you to create some useless prop for parties?" Nami complained to him.

Zoro was right behind her, all cut up and out of breath. Oh, and Nami was back in her dancer outfit, and it was all ripped up.

_Tee hee._

"GUYS!" I shouted.

They all turned to see me, no shirt and covered in bruises, with a black eye.

"Screaver! Are you alright?" Chopper shouted out.

I nodded. "Just some internal bruising and bleeding, broken bones, a black eye, and a torn up soul. But otherwise, I'm just...fuckin...peachy."

Nami tried to say something comforting, and I appreciated it...even though it did sound kind of insulting.

We all shared a few words about our fights. Nami confronting Vivi, Sanji yelling at Zoro, the usual.

I also noticed that bird man from before was next to Luffy. He nodded at me. I bowed back.

"I'm sorry you guys." Luffy said out of nowhere.

We all looked at him. He was still stretched out. He also had a big barrel strapped to his back.

"I know I already lost to him once already. But this time…this time…I'm gonna win! The rest is up to you!"

"Well get going then." Zoro said smiling.

"If you can't beat this guy," Usopp said cowardly, "then I don't know a single person who can!"

"Kick his ass Luffy. For everybody he's screwed over in the past few years." I added in.

"I'm gonna put an end to this…FOR GOOD!"

-SNAP-

He shot upward. Leaving the rest of us on the ground cheering him on.


	70. Chapter 70

Breaking the Walls of Reality

An Unhealable Wound?

* * *

"According to what Crocodile said," Vivi explained to us, "If the cannon is shot, no one within five kilometers will survive!"

We all saw the magnitude of _bad_ that this would be and immediately began thinking of solutions.

"We need to split up and find the cannon." I suggested.

"And in ten minutes." Nami added in.

A giant man appeared behind Vivi, a giant sword above her head.

-BAM-

-CLANK-

I blocked his sword with my bazooka as Sanji kicked him in the face. The man fell over, revealing he had B.W. initialed on his green jacket.

"Looks like they surrounded us." I said, cracking my knuckles.

The dust cleared and revealed hundreds of agents had surrounded us.

"It looks like we'll loose some time." Sanji noted.

"Well let's not waste all of it standing around and jiber-jabering." Zoro followed up.

"You guys go find the cannon. We'll stop these clowns." I told the other guys.

They ran off and left the three of us to face the billions.

-SLICE-

-BAM-

-KABOOM-

It was over in fifteen seconds. Sanji counted.

"Alright! Let's go, hurry!" Zoro shouted.

"RIGHT!" Sanji and I agreed.

We split up and began our search.

* * *

This is probably a bad time to mention that my brain wasn't working very well.

I honestly, for the life of me, could not remember where the cannon was located. That blast from that Mr. 3 guy must have scrambled my brain, because I couldn't remember almost anything about how this battle goes down.

All I could remember was Luffy beats Crocodile, it rains, and Nami gets naked in the bathroom! THAT'S IT!

I jumped to the roof tops, searching for any sign of a cannon.

I looked to the clock tower; six minutes left!

I broke into every building I could, busting the doors down, through windows, still nothing.

Clock tower; five minutes left!

Wait…Clock tower…clock tower…clock tower…clock tower?

I smacked my forehead in anger; IT'S IN THE FUCKING CLOCK TOWER!

-FSHOOOOO-

I looked to the sky; a smoky trail of red shot up into the sky.

_Usopp's signal, I think he told us about it some time back on the ship._

I leaped from roof to roof, darting towards the smoke in the sky.

* * *

I looked below and saw Vivi, followed by Usopp, followed by a gang of billions with weapons drawn.

-SLASH-

Before I could do anything, they were all dispatched by…ugh…my least favorite Marine girl, Tashigi. She was also accompanied by a small group of marines.

"We're here to help not to fight!" She shouted. "Now hurry and stop the explosion!"

While her back was turned, three burly agents with a clubs appeared right behind her.

"FLASH STEP!"

-WHOOSH-

I appeared before them; they stopped in fear.

"64 HIT COMBO!"

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

They were no match for the likes of Screaver D. Bartel.

I turned and gave an emotionless look at Tashigi. She scowled at me.

"Thank…you for protecting Vivi." I said, trying to show sympathy.

She pointed her sword in the direction of the tower. "Just go already!" She ordered.

I dashed towards the others.

"It's in the clock tower!" Vivi shouted at me.

"I figured as much!" I shouted back.

"Where's everyone else?" Usopp asked.

"I'm sure they saw your signal. Just keep running. We have less than three minutes left!"

Vivi was looking at all the fallen soldiers that littered the ground.

"NO! DON'T LOOK AT THAT!" Usopp shouted at her. "We can't stop and help them!"

"If we fail in stopping that cannon, we'll all be in worse shape!" I told her.

She swallowed her tears back and nodded.

"Hey you guys! What's going on here?" I heard Nami shouted from behind us.

She ran towards us, followed by Chopper. Vivi informed her that the bomb had to be in the clock tower.

"HEEY!" I heard Sanji shout.

We looked up and saw Sanji waving at us from the third floor in the clock tower!

He explained how that the message said _in the clock tower_, so he went in the clock tower.

"Sanji? Hey! Where were you?" I heard Zoro shout, just two floors above him.

Everyone began arguing and shouting about what we were going to do, and my throbbing headache wasn't helping.

"WE HAVE LIKE A MINUTE LEFT SO EVERYBODY JUST CALM THE HELL DOWN!" I shouted as loud as I could.

-CREEK-

"HOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"RIBBITRIBBITRIBBITRIIIBIT!"

The whole clock on top of the tower opened as if it were a large door.

"So Mr. 7, according to what the boss told us, this is going to be our final mission for Baroque Works! RIBBITRIBBITRIBBIT!" A female voice cheered wildly.

"OHOHOHOHO! That's right Mrs. Father's Day! OHOHOHOHOHO!" A strange male voice chuckled.

"It's Mr. 7, and Miss Father's Day!" Vivi stated in terror.

"Screaver come here!" Nami shouted at me. "I have a plan!"

* * *

"You call this a plan?" I said in annoyance.

Nami ordered Vivi to ride on top of Chopper, who was now resting on my shoulder. Usopp was cowering behind the camel.

"Now hold still." She said as she calculated her next move.

_I know I'm not gonna like this._

_Oh hush up Courage._ Michael said.

"Forecasting…A typhoon!" Nami called out and clanked her weapon.

Come to think of it, I had never seen that weapon she was holding. It was like her staff, just made of metal and it was sky blue.

_The Clima Tact, her weather making weapon. Made by Usopp._ Michael informed me.

"CYCLONE TEMPO!"

She swung it hard and one of the rods spiraled towards me.

Correction: a certain part of me.

_Wait…WAIT! NO NO NO! NOT THE…_

-BAM-

It connected…with my family jewels.

Or my balls, in case you didn't get the metaphor.

**"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOO…"**

-WHOOSH-

I was sent flying into the air. Propelled by a huge gust of wind that formed below my legs.

**"…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEE…"**

I turned and swung my arm, Chopper kicked off and flew even higher towards Sanji.

**"EEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOO…"**

I fell and landed on the hard ground, face first.

-THUD-

"…ow."

-BANG-

I heard gunshots from above.

"He's hit!" Sanji shouted.

"GOOOOOO!"

_Three seconds._

Sanji fell to the ground.

_Two seconds._

I struggled to my feet.

_ONE SECOND!_

-SLIENCE-

Nothing happened. No explosion, no pain of being obliterated, and no sight of pearly gates of fire and brimstone (I don't know, what do you think?).

We were alive. The bomb must have been stopped.

_Shame I never saw who was in the clock tower. Ah...probably nobody important._

"Whooh…my balls…"

I fell over in pain.

"Tough break Screaver." Usopp said and patted me on the back.

-BAM-

I kicked him in his balls.

"OOOOOH!"

He fell over crying.

"Hey, it was meant to be." I said, still sore.

Zoro fell to the ground next.

"Oh hey. You're still alive." Sanji said casually.

"That's really all you can…oh never mind." I said.

"What happened with tha cannon?" Zoro said, gasping for air.

Chopper ran over to us, holding his head in pain.

"What's the matter?" He asked curiously.

We were all staring up at the clock tower. The bomb had not gone off but, something was still off.

Vivi's head poked out of the tower. "THE CANNON BALL HAS A TIMING DEVICE! IF WE DON'T DO SOMETHING IT'LL EXPLODE!"

"SHIT!"

-WHOOSH-

A shadowy figure swooped into the tower.

"Was that…" Sanji was about to ask.

"Yeah." Zoro finished for him. "I think it's the bird man."

Another moment passed and a giant bird was seen hoisting a even bigger black ball out of the tower.

"Don't tell me he's…" I tried to say.

It soared higher, and higher into the sky, until it passed the clouds. And then…

**-KABOOOOOOOOOOM-**

A explosion the size of the entire city erupted in the sky. Obliterating the clouds and covering us all in a blinding light. With a sound so loud it made my eardrums pop instantly.

_Pell…you gave your life to save us all…_

_There was nothing you could do Screaver. It was the only way._ Michael tried to say.

We all looked up, heart broken, as the explosion died down.

"He's…gone." Sanji said in disbelief.

The soldiers were on the ground, knocked over by the shock of the explosion.

Wait…scratch that.

They slowly got up, moving like possessed zombies, as one of them raised their swords.

"RAAAAAAAH!"

They all…STARTED FIGHTING AGAIN?

"PLEASE STOOOP!"

Vivi was screaming and pleading as loud as she could for them to stop fighting.

"PLEASE STOP FIGHTING!"

It was bringing her to tears.

To loose a dear friend like that, and it having no affect on the people, I could not even fathom the depth of Vivi's sorrow.

"YOU DOPES!" Nami yelled at us. She shoved us towards the soldiers. "Why are you just standing there? GET YOUR REARS IN GEAR! I DON'T CARE HOW JUST STOP THE REBELION!"

-KABOOOOOOM-

We all looked to the side and saw a huge explosion erupted from the ground. It was so strong it knocked the buildings to the side.

The figure that was shot out of the ground was…unmistakably, Crocodile.

"HE DID IT!"

Crocodile's bloody form was send flying, then crashing into the ground.

His body made a crater so big, everybody HAD to have seen it or at least heard it.

The soldiers…they were STILL FIGHTING!

The others were busy trying to stop the royal army and rebel army from fighting.

People were falling dead around me, left and right.

I was staring up at the sky, grasping the weather-ball in my hand.

Nami grabbed my neck. "WAKE UP AN…O…SO…ING…UP…"

_What can I do? I'm just...I'm just Screaver..._

My grip tightened.

_I must…_

My fist was shaking.

_For the people…_

Nami's yelling was blocked out, as well as all other noise. She released my neck.

_For my crew…_

A look of pure determination rose to my face.

_For Vivi…_

-CLICK-

_I know what to do!_

I turned around and ran right through the crowd. Anyone who was unfortunate enough to be in my path were knocked away.

I turned back and faced the clock tower, about a football field away.

I gripped the weather-ball in my hand.

_Screaver, I know you want to help, but that thing is way too unstable! And besides, do you really plan on running up the side of a freaking building? You aren't a ninja! You can't beat the odds every time you try!_ Michael warned me.

"_**YES I CAN!"**_

In a flash of blinding speed, I ran towards the tower head on.

"**FOOOOOOOR ARABAAAASTAAAA!"**

Before I collided with the wall, I did a small jump and all my momentum was directed upwards.

I was running straight up the wall, right pass Vivi. Before I reached the top, I kicked backwards and back flipped.

I loaded the weather-ball into my left bazooka.

"**FOOOOOOOOR MY FRIIIIIEEEENDS!"**

I charged my gun with as much power as I could.

"**SPECIAL ATTACK: SKY BUSTER!"**

-**KABOOOOOOOM-**

The blast that was sent from my bazooka was almost as loud as the first explosion. It actually hurt my arm as it fired.

A spiraling orb of blue energy was send spiraling towards the sky.

I flipped off the sky with my right hand.

"**RAIN ALREADY YA FUCKING SKY!**"

**-****BOOOOOM**-

The explosion detonated in the sky.

Then things got weird.

From where the blast exploded, the oddest sound began to form.

-CRACK-

Huge, glowing, cracks began forming in the blue sky. It started in one spot, then it grew bigger, and bigger, until the entire sky was covered in huge cracks.

It was like I had broken a glass roof or something.

_Chicken Little...would shit his pants._

-BSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH-

The sky…broke! Pieces of blue just broke off and began dissolving in blue sparkles.

**_WHAT THE FUUUUUCK?_** Michael screamed in terror.

It was unbelievable. As my body was falling towards the earth, I saw the entire sky, as far as the horizon, covered in blue cracks and sparkles.

Soon the sparkles began to swirl together and form clouds.

-BOOM BOOM-

"ACK!"

My chest was in pain. It felt like something inside just snapped.

I looked at my arm; it hadn't gone out of bazooka form.

I tried to stop it, but then the most terrifying sound began to echo.

In fact...the most horrible sound I had ever heard.

-**CRACK**-

My bazooka…was breaking.

Every crack that formed in the golden barrel made my chest jolt with pain.

_Stop…ACK…please stop…UGH…_

**-KABOOM-**

My left bazooka exploded into a million pieces.

Unbelievable pain flooded my body.

**"GUAAAAAH!"**

The explosion sent me flying downward into the ground so hard that I dented the floor.

Rain trickled on my body.

"Shit…I guess I…screwed up…"

My arm was in red hot pain, or whatever was left of it. I tilted my head and saw the very end of the bazooka, with jagged edges all around it. It was like my entire arm, up to my elbow, was gone completely.

A huge sliver of light shot out of my chest.

"This is…gonna cost me."

I felt my mind beginning to slip away. I was breathing heavily.

"Got to…wake up…find others…need…"

I struggled to my feet, but ultimately failed and fell on my but.

"Scre…er! Whe…re…you!" I heard someone shout.

I was surrounded by my friends.

"Screaver! Wake up! Please!"

I couldn't see who was shouting at me, everything seemed blurry.

I simply smiled at whoever they were. And before I fell unconscious I said, "Don't you…worry about…me…I'm…just fine. All in a…days work...for your average…delinquent."


	71. Chapter 71

**Happy Holidays people! Sorry about not posting yesterday, I was out caroling. But here is the new chapter, enjoy.**

The Aftermath in Arabasta

It All Comes Full Circle

* * *

I was in the neon blue room, Michael in front of me with his arms crossed and a frown on his face.

I looked to my left and tried to look at my arm, but all that was there was a pitch black silhouette of what would be my arm.

"So…that went well?" I asked sarcastically.

Michael was still frowning. "You're on a slippery slope Screaver. First it was the Demon Hunter, then climbing the mountain, and now this. What…what is going on in your head?"

I shrugged. "What can I say?"

Michael bit his lower lip in anger. "You're an idiot! Honestly, it's like giving a three year old a gun! And why should I even be surprised that he's been shooting himself in the face with it this entire time!"

He was angry, I could see and hear that.

"What else could I have done?"

Michael backed off a little, but then got in my face. "YOU'LL BE DEAD BEFORE YOU EVEN REACH THE RED LINE!"

I stepped closer to yell in his face. "IT'S NOT YOUR DECISION! IT'S MY LIFE! You don't even want to live anymore!"

He got _closer_. "YOU DUMBASS! This isn't about me! It's about you! You can't die so soon! You're too reckless!"

"So?"

He paused.

"So what if I am? That's just my character! I do stupid stuff like climb up a mile of sheer rock and blow up the freakin sky because I see no better way to do it!"

He ripped off his glasses and glared at me. "I'm not going to bale you out if you keep hurting yourself like this!"

"I have to live with my own choices, you got that? You told me that a while back, right?"

He sighed. "Please Screaver…I don't want you to die like this. You don't deserve it. It just that…I've never seen a guy so…bravely stupid like you."

"HEY!"

He smiled slightly. "No offense. Well…I guess we'll just have to see what happens when you wake up."

"So…I lost my left arm? Crap, I'm left handed. Oh well, I never like writing anyway."

Michael whacked me upside the head. "You're such a dipshit."

I punched him in the arm. "And you're a huge prick."

He chuckled happily. His laugh echoed as the scene melted away.

* * *

I was in a state of suspension for a while, no idea how long.

I remember thinking back on that final moment before I passed out. I remember...feeling something. Something wet had trickled on my face. At first I thought...was it rain? no, it was raining but...something else.

I was seeing a blurred image of what had happened, like a video used by a really crappy phone camera. Someone's face...I couldn't see who it was.

"SCREAVER!" It shrieked in a high pitched voice. It grabbed my body, shaking me to stay awake.

More drops of rain fell on my face. Wait...that wasn't rain...they were tear drops.

Someone was crying over me, begging me to be ok.

_Was it Luffy? Usopp? They can be a couple of crybabies sometimes. But that voice...it sounded female._

_Was it...Nami? That didn't seem like something Nami would do...and I, somehow, know Nami._

_Vivi? Well she can turn on the waterworks like nobodies buisness..._

I couldn't remember, the whole scene was a blurr.

* * *

When I finally woke up, and mustered enough strength to open an eye, I felt that I was in a warm bed. I tried to look around, but the sunlight was blinding my vision.

My eyes became accustomed to the light, and I saw a old familiar face sitting next to me.

And I do mean _old_.

It was the old man himself, Alistair. How did I remember? Well…how many other three armed old men do you meet in your life?

"Ah! You're awake." He said cheerfully.

He was wearing his purple, three sleeved robe. His third arm was rubbing his bald head.

I tried to move, but my arms were strapped to the bed. I was all bandaged up, wearing a blue rope.

"Oh sorry, the operation was causing you to jerk horribly, had to keep you immobile."

"What?" I said, then soreness began flooding my body. "Operation? Did you do some crazy experiment on me? I ain't no guiny pig old man!"

"Well, look for yourself!"

I looked to my left and…a cast was connected to my left arm.

My _left_ arm was there.

"MY ARM!"

Alistair nodded. "Discovery 926, not only does it grow extra limbs, but also creates new ones! Brilliant formula if I do say so myself."

I was estatic! My arm was ok!

"How did you get here?" I asked.

"I let him be here." A male voice said.

I looked past him and a middle aged man with black hair and tan skin was standing behind him. He was wearing a fancy purple robe and had a beard that was tied together so it looked like a small bush was on the end of his face.

"I'm pleased to see that you survived. You were in pretty bad shape when you got here."

"What happened exactly?"

He stepped toward the bed. "You and your crew were brought to the palace after Vivi and I were done addressing the rebels. Alistair had also appeared with them, we have been good friends since I was born."

"I knew his father; and his grand father was the one who gave me his blessing to build a home here in the sand." Alistair followed up on.

I moved my left cast, but something didn't feel quite right with it. Well, I guess having it blown off would make it feel weird.

"I just need to ask you one thing." I said to the man. "Did...did it rain?"

The man looked at me with a bewildered look, but then smiled nicely. "Yes. Rain has returned to Arabasta."

That made me sight in relief.

"So…who exactly are you?" I asked the man in the robe.

I am Cobra Nefetari, king of Arabasta."

My jaw dropped.

_Oh yeah…I remember. King of Arabasta, father of Vivi, how could I not know that?_

"WHAT? KING?"

He held his hands up. "Shhhhh! Not so loud. You're friend is still probably sleeping."

"AAAAAH! I SLEPT GOOOOOD!" A familiar voice cried in delight.

I got up, but fell on my face the instant I stepped onto the floor.

"_Cd smwn gt m uh stc t wk n?"_ I said, mouth planted on the floor.

I pushed up and got to my feet.

"Here. Use this." Alistair said, and handed me a crutch.

I gripped it with my right hand and slowly walked out the door.

I walked down a very clean and lavish hallway, and pushed a big door open.

"Morning."

Everyone looked at me and bright, happy looks formed on there faces.

"Hey Screaver! Long time no see!" Luffy said and waved at me.

"SCREAVER! YOU'RE OK!" Everyone else shouted in disbelief.

I waved my cast. "Alive and kicking."

"I thought you had blown your arm off!" Sanji shouted.

"SO DID I! AHAHAHAHAHA!" I laughed and held my gut.

Vivi seemed so happy, like it was about to bring her to tears.

_Naaaaaaaaw...ya tink?_

-BAM-

Nami hit me in the back of the head. "YOU HAD US WORRIED SICK!"

I rubbed my head in pain. "HEY! WHAT THE HELL?" I pointed to...everything. "INJURED HERE!"

She frowned, but then sighed and smiled. "I'm glad you're ok."

I nodded at that, then I walked over to Luffy.

"Alright Luffy! You kicked Crocodile's ass!"

I held my hand out and he gave me a strong high five. "HELL YEAH I DID!" He cheered.

"What did you do? To the sky?" Vivi asked me.

I turned and smiled. "I made it rain of course!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

I chuckled. "Yep! Kept my promise! As I always do! AHAHAHAHA!"

"Oh Luffy, Screaver, you guys woke up." Zoro said as he walked in through the door.

"Long time no see!" Luffy repeated.

"ZORO!" Chopper yelled. "HOW DARE YOU! You were off training weren't you?"

"So what?" He replied as he got a drink. "I don't need your permission."

Chopper began yelling at him.

"Wait." Luffy said as he cocked his head. "_Long time no see_? Why I say that?"

"Probably because it has been a long. You two have been asleep for three entire days." Usopp said as he sat on a couch.

"Three days? THREE WHOLE DAYS?" Luffy said in disbelief.

"Uhuh."

He froze for a few seconds.

"I missed thirty meals." He said in a dull voice.

"You sure calculate quickly when it comes to food." Nami said in annoyance.

"HEY! My meals aren't your meals!." I said in disbelief.

"By his count that's like five meals a day for each of you!" Usopp shouted then hit his forehead in annoyance.

Two other doors were pushed open as another person said, "I heard the captain's awake!"

"IT'S IGARAM'S GHOST!" Was all I could shout.

What walked in looked like Igaram, wearing a pink shirt and had a smaller amount of curls on it's head. it wore make up as well.

"Dinner will be served shortly. I hope your all hungry!" It said in a flamboyant voice.

Two men wheeled in something that looked like a giant laundry hamper (you know the kinds that go in trucks) filled over the brim with fresh fruit.

"HEY! Old tube hair guy! You're still alive?" Luffy asked.

"No everyone, you're mistaken." Vivi corrected us. "This is Terracotta, Igaram's wife and the head of the palace's servers."

"Thank you for helping Vivi and my husband." _She_ said.

"I've heard of husbands resembling their wives, but this is too weird." Zoro whispered to me.

"I hear that in royalty they sometimes marry in the family. You think he married his sister?" I whispered back to him.

He covered his mouth, trying to contain his laughter.

"Wait...Igaram's wife?"

"Oh yes, we didn't get to tell you!" Vivi said cheerfully. "Igaram's alive!"

"HUUUUUUUUURRAAAAAAAY!"

"I heard the captain eats a lot. So I had the staff put together a little snack to tide you and your friends over."

Luffy stared at her and said emotionlessly, "Thank you."

-CHOMP-

It was all gone in one second.

"GREEDY PIG!" Zoro and Sanji shouted.

"AND HE IS THE NEW WORLD CHAMPION!" I said, holding up my arms like a referee.

"I'm gonna eat three whole days worth of food lady." He told Terracotta.

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh, a challenge! Good, I'm looking forward to it! I'VE NEVER LOST TO ANYONE'S STOMACHE! SO EAT TO YOUR HEARTS CONTENT!"

I smiled widely. "YOU GOT IT!"

_Just a heads up lady. If you can't take the heat, then start making desert._

* * *

Ohohohohoho boy, I ate…a lot.

Nononononono, you don't understand. I ate…A WHOLE LOT!

NONONONONONOOOOO! You still don't get it…**I ATE A HUGE, MOTHERFUKIN LOT!**

Still not enough, oh well, it will have to do.

The moment we sat at the table, filled with glorious food, we became animals. Well, except for Nami, Vivi, Igaram, and Cobra.

I ripped apart a huge smoked salmon, then stripped a whole plate of huge ribs down to the bone, then sucked down a whole mixing bowl of noodles WHILE drinking a mug of alcohol.

Plate after plate after bowl after glass I would consume, then pile it all next to the others, and the plates would be taken away, with more new food place on the table.

I was next to Sanji and Usopp, right across form Luffy. Everytime he eyed me he would picked up his speed. He was also stealing other peoples food right from their forks.

Usopp was gonna eat a lobster, until Luffy snatched it up, forcing him to step on the table and declare war with Luffy.

I swallowed the food in my mouth and asked him, "You need some defense Usopp?"

"No thanks," He pulled out a red packet. "I'll fix him."

He poured it on a rice ball and Luffy ate it, causing him to spit flames as Usopp cackled in delight.

The camel was laughing right next to him.

Wait…WHEN DID THE CAMEL GET HERE?

I wiped my mouth with a napkin as I bit into some sort of mozzarella stick.

Sanji was constantly asking for recipes every time he tried something he liked.

"Say, what do you call that there?" He would ask.

Luffy tried to say something to the king, but his mouth was full of food so I guess he didn't understand him.

I began munching down on a huge rice ball.

"I NEED ANOTHER ROUND OVER HERE!" Zoro shouted in a drunken fashion.

"ME TOO!" I shouted and waved my empty mug.

"And water down here!" Sanji shouted, trying to help a choking Chopper.

Luffy almost stole one on my sticks of mutton, so I _accidentally_ snatched up his hand and bit on it.

"OWWWWE!"

He snatched it back and everyone laughed.

Vivi was constantly laughing at our shouting and eating.

"I WANT BEEN SPROUTS!" Usopp shouted.

"SALTY! SO GOOD!" Sanji yelled.

"I'm ok! JUST GIVE ME MORE!" Chopper cheered as he swallowed down noodles.

Vivi kept on laughing heartily.

Soon the guards began laughing as well.

We all cheered as a Chopper with chop sticks up his nose, a Usopp balancing plates on his nose, an me carrying a over-stuffed Luffy over my head (shouting I'M ATLAS BABY!) began dancing on the table.

The others all lifted out arms and began laughing and cheering.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GET READY FOR ROUND TWO LUFFY!"

"BRING IT SCREAVER!"

_This has been…another moment that makes me so happy to be a Straw Hat pirate._

* * *

After eating time, the guys changed out our clothes and got into…a huge, elaborate bath.

It was filled with steam, but I could still see the massive golden lions with hot water gushing out of there mouths pouring into humongous, polished pools.

"This is the palace's royal bath." Cobra explained to us. "Normally we only use it during the rainy season."

Luffy and Usopp were stark naked, but they didn't seem to care.

"I'm ROYALLY impressed!" Usopp cheered.

They both ran towards the bath, but ended up falling over and sliding on their faces.

The rest of us were wearing washcloths.

"Well, that was some dinner tonight." Cobra said as he sat in the bath. "I thought an after dinner bath would be a more sedative thing, but seems that anything you lads get involved with becomes a party very quickly."

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked, rubbing my left arm.

He smiled calmly. "Not at all."

I rubbed my left arm. They removed the cast after dinner, mostly because it was too dirty to continue working.

I also noticed that th X was still on my arm.

_You're welcome._ Michael said.

"HEY ZORO!" Luffy shouted. "Look over here at what we're doing!"

They got under the waterfall and put their hands together, like they were meditating.

"We're training!" Usopp said.

"Real funny." Zoro sneered, as he went back to scrubbing Chopper's back.

Sanji was next to Igaram. He formed a sly smile and elbowed him. "So um, hey. Where's the women's bath?"

_OH MY GOD! I JUST REMEMBERED!_

Igaram swatted his hand away. "YOU'RE NUTS!" He bellowed in rage. "AND WHY WOULD I TELL YA THAT? THAT'S WHERE THE PRINCESS IS!"

"I know!" He said, beginning to chuckled.

Cobra seemed to appear right next to a wall that didn't go all the way up to the ceiling.

He pointed upward. "It's right behind that wall!" He said informatively.

"YOUR MAGESTY!" Igaram yelled in disbelief.

"Hey thanks a lot old guy! You're the best!" Usopp said cheerfully and we all ran towards the wall.

_OHOHOHOHOHOH! I've been waiting for this._

We all climbed up the polls and rested our feet on the ridges of the walls, peeking every so much over the wall. Except for Zoro…

Maybe he **is** gay...

UHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUH! Shutters...

We saw the girls, wearing towels (oh man) scrubbing each other's backs. They were mumbling about something, totally innocent to what we were doing.

_MUHUHUHUHUHUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

They seemed to notice us.

Vivi gasped and held her towel. "What are you all doing over there?"

"Peeping." Nami frowned, slighty annoyed.

_Wait for it._

Nami sighed and rolled her eyes. "All right. It will cost 100,000 berri each."

She stood up and stepped forward.

_Get your camera out Michael._

_Good God. And I thought you were just kidding._ He said tiredly.

She grabbed the towel covering her body and cracked a smile.

"Happiness…PUNCH!"

-WHOOSH-

**"WHOOOOOOCHIMAMA!"**

She opened…the towel.

Nami's…beautiful figure was RIGHT FUCKING THERE in front of me.

The whole package. I could go into detail but...heheheh...I don't have to, because I SAW IT!

They were...and she was...and we were...and I was...WHOOOOOOO!

_I've been waiting so long for this moment. Now I may die in peace._

Everyone else fell over in a yelp with nose bleeds. But I just leaned forward in surprise.

Don't judge me! I'm a man God damn it!

Nami covered her towel again and pouted. "Seems it'll take a lot more than that to get rid of Ero-boy."

I was grinning wildly. I didn't even care that she insulted me. She stuck her tongue out cutely.

Then the strangest thing happened.

Vivi got up. She was blushing, and had a strange look on her face. It was either a look of disgust or a look of…determination?

She step in front of a surprised Nami…and…she…ALSO DROPPED HER TOWEL!

My jaw dropped. I'm pretty sure my eyeballs popped out of my skull.

Her body was…and she was…and then…

-BAM-

Now, I may be a man, but both Nami AND Vivi was way too much for my small, otaku mind to take.

I fell over in defeat.

-DING- -DING-

-THUD-

The other guys had just recovered from their shock, but I fell over with a wide grin on my face and blood gushing from my nose.

_Huh. Didn't think that would actually happen._

_You lucky bastard._ Michael said in disbelief.

_Hey! You were their too!_

_Yeah...I was._ He concluded.

* * *

We began washing away the filth, and the blood, in the giant pool.

Cobra's nose was still bleeding when he said, "Thank you."

Our response was, in synchronization, "Pervert."

"NOT FOR THAT!"

He wiped his nose. "For the country."

He put his hands on the ground, and bowed to us all.

Zoro said, "It's not that we don't appreciate it, but is a king suppose to do that?"

Igaram also disagreed with the king's action.

"Authority, is something you wear over your clothes. But we're in the bath now, and there is no such thing as a naked king is there? I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart as both a father and a native of this land. Arabasta will forever be in your debt, Straw Hats."

We nodded and smiled at the man's humble gesture.

_A king of an entire nation bowed to us. Now there's something you don't get to experience everyday._

* * *

"We're leaving tonight?"

We had all change into our clothes and were discussing our future plans.

Nami said we needed to leave tonight. Zoro explained it was because the Marines will continue to harass the palace until they find us. We had all reached an understanding.

Vivi was looking at us all sadly, particularly me.

"Excuse me, you have a call." A royal soldier said as he walked in with a huge Den Den Mushi.

"Snail Comunication? From who?" Nami asked.

_I thought it was called Den Den Mushi…well I guess it makes more sense._

"He called himself Bon." The guard said.

Sanji got up and picked up the speaker.

"Hellooo? Hey old friends! It's me! AHUAHUHUAH!"

It was old Fagoty Ann himself, Mr. 2.

-CLICK-

Sanji hung up on him in mid sentence.

-RINGRINGRINGRINGRING-

"YOU FAGGOT! SHUT UP!" Sanji cursed.

Luffy snatched the snail up from across the room and picked up the speaker.

"So you escaped Mr. 2?" He said in anger. "What do you want?"

"OH STRAW HAT! I'd recognize that voice anywhere!" He squealed in delight.

He told us how he wanted to be called Bon Clay from now on, in order to keep the Marines who might be intercepting the call unaware of their conversation.

"Enough already!" Zoro shouted in annoyance. "What do you want?"

"Oh it's not what I want!" He said in delight. "It's what I have! YOUR SHIP!"

"WHAT THE HELL?"

He said how he moved our ship to the upper part of the Sandora River and would wait their for a day, or until the Marines get too close.

"Well, I guess we leave tonight then huh?" I said tiredly.

"Hey…guys…" Vivi tired to speak up.

We all looked to her.

"I um…I don't know what to do." She said in despair, her voice trembling.

"Vivi, we can give you 12 hours to make a decision." Nami told her.

She told her how we would be at the eastern coast of Arabasta at 12 pm on the dot tomorrow, her last and only chance to come with us.

_Huh…_ Michael said.

_What?_

_I would have thought she would have asked you by now. Strange._

_WHY DID YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME?_

_Oh, sorry._ He said, faking sympathy._ Could still happen though._

"We have one hour." Nami told us. "Pack what you can and meet where the duck squadron end up."


	72. Chapter 72

I was packing up my stuff. Some food, clothes, boring stuff.

_Miss Wednesday never gave me back my bazooka, stupid bitch._

I had a blue, long sleeve shirt on with tan pants. No more desert garp for me for a loooooong time.

I looked down at my left arm.

_How lucky for me huh? That Alistair was in the neighborhood when I needed a new arm!_

I flicked it, the way I do when I equip my bazooka.

Nothing happened.

I tried again.

No dice.

A third time? Nope, nothing.

"May I come in?" A voice asked.

I looked to the doorway and saw Alistair himself.

I nodded.

He walked over and looked at my arm. "How is it? Adjusting well?"

"Actually, I having problems with equiping my bazooka." I told him.

He shrugged. "I thought as much. I guess it didn't work."

I scratched my head.

He sat himself down into a chair and his third arm rubbed his bald scalp. "When I first begun the opperation on your arm, I ran into a problem. Your original arm, the one that had that weapon infused with it,was disallowing me being able to apply the new appendage."

"En...gl...ish." I said slowly.

He frowned at me. "You know a good education shouldn't not be that hard to find young man!"

I chuckled. "In my country it is."

He coughed before he continued. "Well, I had to amputate that part of your arm in order to grow back the new one. I thought it would be no problem, but for some reason your body isn't reconizing it as your real arm. It moves and you can feel, but that's it! Any powers you may have will not work with it."

"WHAT?"

He sighed. "I'm sorry." He said in despair.

"You got about three seconds before I beat your bald…"

Calm down! Calm down! Would you rather not have a left arm at all?"

I cursed in anger. "Well that just sucks!"

"Now don't fret, there are some advantages to that arm."

I crossed my arms. "I'm listening."

He smiled. "Why let me tell you? Next time you're in a fight, try hitting a guy with your bare fist. I'm about 97.4% sure you'll like the results."

I was still pissed off about having my fire power be cut in half, but at least I had a left arm, so I was thankful for that.

"So Alistair you've done so much for me and I have nothing to repay you with."

He shook his head. "No need Screaver, it's what I do. To make sure the youth live on and all that poetic mumbo jumbo as it were."

"What are you going to do now?"

He stood up and walked to an open window.

"I have almost two decades left before I finally pass on, and I'm gonna spend them doing what I love; inventing things for the good of the world!"

I smiled. "Good luck with that, and take care."

He held out his third hand. I shook it firmly.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to discover a way to produce meat with out having to kill animals. And none of that soy bean crap either. Something that is actual meat, but you don't need to kill animals."

"Good luck with that."

He smiled. "Take care Screaver D. Bartel."

He opened his rope and pulled out a small ball, which expanded into a round plate. The same round plate he used to transport me before.

"Hang on! Before you go...what's your last name?" I asked.

He sctarched his head. "My last name? Why I am none other than Alistair Tenpenny, the greatest inventor of the past 1000 years!"

He tossed it on the ground and stepped on it.

"SO LONG!"

-WHOOSH-

In a flash of blue light, he vanished.

"Last I'll see of that guy huh?" I asked.

_You never know, you thought you saw the last of Hendrick._ Michael said.

_Yeah, that guy turned out to be Mr. 6 of all people! Whatever happened to him?_

_Who knows? Maybe you hit him so hard he dissipated. Maybe he was caught by Marines. Or maybe he went into hiding. Just keep looking forward to the future._ He concluded.

I smiled. When I turned around I bumped into the table next to me.

"OW! SON OF A..."

-CLANK-

A small piece of metal was knocked onto the floor.

I picked it up. It was a small, golden chunk of metal, with a stud just off the center and some of the edges melted.

It was part of my bazooka.

"Huh? How'd this get here?"

_Maybe someone found it and left it next to your bed. Probably Alistair._ Michael guessed.

"Screaver." I heard someone say from behind me.

I turned and saw it was...Vivi.

She had changed into her night gown.

-GULP-

"Um…hi Vivi. I'm packing up I guess."

"I can see that." She said, trying to smile.

She walked closer towards me.

I cleared my throat. "You know we would love it if you could come with us. We could sail across the Grand Line, fight more bad guys, see more amazin sights…"

"I don't know." She interrupted, looking heart broken. "I wish I could. Oh how I wish I could continue sailing with you all again. But…"

"I know, it's because you have to deal with your country and all. I mean they just got out of a war AND a drought. So it would be best if…"

She stepped closer, causing me to falter.

"Screaver, I…I must ask you something. I know you'll think of me as selfish and terrible to even consider…"

She was gripping her clothes tightly as she spoke.

"What are you talking about? You'll never be selfish." I said.

"I know…you have to leave. And you want to protect Luffy and Nami and everyone else. But...in the chance that I choose to stay…I just can't ignore my feelings on this."

"I already know you…"

"I would like for you to stay." She said, her voice incredibly calm.

-GULP-

"What?"

She inhaled deeply before speaking again.

"I…I wish that you would stay here, in the palace, with me." She repeated.

"Why...how could you say that? I mean, abandoning my friends and..."

Screaver...I care for you so much...I don't want to let you go!"

"But...how could you think..."

"I don't." She stopped me. "I don't think you will say yes. But...if I just let you go without saying anything it will haunt me forever thinking there was a chance!"

She was trying to keep eye contact with me, but kept looking towards the floor in shame. She gripped her skirt and twisted it as she spoke.

"This way...I know for sure...I just want a answer."

I was stunned. "How? What? I mean…I have a bounty! They won't let me…"

"Not unless you swear yourself to the guard of Arabasta."

I had no idea what she meant.

"If you swore your life to the king, you could serve here as a guard. Your bounty would be repealed. It isn't common, but Igaram told me about it."

_Michael, you have any idea if that's true?_

_Well, there are some kingdoms in time that did have something along the lines of this. Like a conscription of sorts. Possibly?_

"Vivi I…I don't know what to say."

She stepped closer and kissed me.

_You'd think I would have gotten use to it…nope, still not use to it._

She pulled away and pleaded, "Please Screaver. I want to be with you. If you choose to leave tonight…I…I don't think you will be able to come back."

"Vivi, please." I insisted.

She was shaking. Tears had already began to stream from her eyes.

_Choices, choices, choices._ Michael chanted.

_I don't know what to say anymore. I mean, I love Nami but…Vivi was the first person to confess to me. I helped save her kingdom. I blew up the freaking sky for crying out loud! And she's been so selfless, willing to sacrifice her own life for the people of her kingdom. And her only selfish act is so she could protect me._

_And Nami…It was at first just an otaku's crush I guess. Then I met her…and she seemed to be exactly like how she was portrayed. But I learned the softer side of her, something I never thought I could do._

And then I learned the after effects of my choices.

Either be with Vivi and serve in the kingdom, guaranteeing a peaceful and happy ending, or stay with the straw hat pirates and have an unsure future.

And there was no wiki to walk me through this part of the story.

The odds for my _happy ending_ I had always wanted were not as great if I picked the latter choice.

But...I'm a man who can beat the odds, defy reality, and flick off the face of God.

I reached my decision.

"I'm sorry, but I can't abandon my crew." I said sadly. "I…refuse your offer."

Vivi sniffed her nose and sighed. "I thought so."

She sat on the bed, trying to wipe away her tears. But she was only making more.

"I mean, it was too much to ask of me I guess. But...now I know...I feel a lot better now."

I sat next to her, trying to wipe them away for her. "You still have the choice to come with us. Please, think about it."

She sniffed again and nodded.

I looked down into my hand, the small piece of metal still there.

_Well, I didn't even know it was there to begin with...why not._

"Here, if you choose to stay, keep this with you." I said.

I put it in her hand. When she looked at it, a look of surprise stretched across her face.

"This is…"

"I guess it's a piece of my bazooka. You keep it, to remember me by. Remember all I did."

She looked up at me. "How can I know that you'll remember me?"

I smiled. "Come to the coast line and find out."

And with that I gave her a farewell hug, shouldered my bag and walked out the door to the meeting place.

* * *

We were riding the ducks across the desert night. Nothing but the sounds of wind and Luffy's munching noises.

"Are you ever full?" Usopp shouted in disbelief.

I was abnormally quiet.

It was tearing me up inside. We had some great adventures together. Little Garden, Drum Island, Arabasta.

I guess, as a story book character once said, she will always be my biggest _what if?_

"Hey Screaver, you look down. Something happen?" Sanji asked curiously.

I shook my head. "No, nothing happened. Just tired I suppose."

Nami was quiet too.

"What's wrong Nami? Are you sick?" Chopper asked innocently.

"You want a piece of this?" Luffy asked, mouth full of food. "But just a small bit."

"Nami," Sanji spoke up, "if you're thinking about Vivi again I understand."

"It's not that…" she said.

Then she said…_this_. "I'm just sad…we didn't take the reward."

"**WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?**"

Honestly, who else but Nami?

* * *

We arrived to the coast line and sure enough, our ship was docked there.

And on top of the ship, standing in _my_ crows nest, was none other than Douchy McGayboy himself, Bon Clay.

"FINALLY! LONG TIME NO SEE MY FRIENDS!" He announced. "DID YOU GUYS MISS LITTLE OLD ME?"

"Not a bit." I said. "AND GET OUT OF MY CROWS NEST!"

"Let's unload." Sanji said.

We took off all our luggage and thanked the ducks for their assistance.

We waved and shouted good bye as they sped back towards the kingdom.

"WAIT! HOLD ON!" Bon Gay leaped from my nest and landed on the railing, looking rather pissed off.

"Yeah what?" Sanji shouted back, uninterested.

Mr. 2 stamped his foot like a prissy girl and began shouting, "DON'T _YEAH WHAT_ ME! THAT'S JUST RUDE! YOU SHOULD LEARN PROPER MANNER'S PRETTY BOY! FRIENDS AREN'T SUPPOSE TALK TO OTHER FRIENDS THAT WAY!"

Luffy wasn't as sympathetic and rudely shouted, "Quit saying that you weirdo! We're not friends, we're enemies! You lied to us!"

He tried to justify his story as we loaded our supplies onto the ship.

When I came back up to the deck, Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and Mr. Bon Bon were dancing together.

"How'd that happen?"

"Don't ask." Sanji said as he dropped off another backpack of stuff.

"Friends? Yeah right." Zoro was saying to the dancing queers (all one of them). "Tell the truth Twinkle Toes, you and your crew don't have a chance of getting through that blockade. But you might if you have us as allies."

The three guys dropped the flamin yon like a bad habit and gasped at his behavior.

I would have done worse at his behavior. Because he's so gay!

And to answer your question, NO I will not cease the numerous gay jokes.

The Gay Flower (Mr. 2's ship) sailed out from behind a rock and his GAY crew began cheering at us.

* * *

Before we could sail even a mile, the ship was under attack by Marine warships.

"FIRE!"

"BRING IT BITCHES!"

My left hand might be out of commission, but my right hand was raring to go!

"MEGA BUSTER!"

-KABOOM-

I fired and obliterated half of one ship, but their were still like a dozen others.

-KABOOM-

They returned fire on us, but what they were firing weren't cannonballs.

-SHING-

They fired giant black spikes that impaled the ship and began weighting us down.

"Damn it! Fire cannonballs! I can't deflect those!" Luffy cursed.

They had us surrounded in a formation, whether we attacked them of returned fire, they could stay in their formation and immobilize us before we even get a chance to escape.

-KABOOM-

In one corner of the formation, the right ship exploded, falling on the left ship and causing both of them to sink.

Usopp was standing, dumbfounded, next to a smoking cannon.

"Wooooooooow." He said in disbelief.

"YES!" He said, becoming his _courageous_ self. "JUST AS I CALCULATED!"

"Congratulations. Now…STEER THE DAMN SHIP!" I ordered him, causing him to scurry.

"FIRE!"

The enemy fired two more spikes at us.

"HELL NO! TRIPLE BUSTER!"

-KABOOM- -KABOOM- -KABOOM-

Taking out the enemy projectiles: Two shots.

Damaging a Marine cruiser: One shot.

Sailing away through a hole in the enemies' formation: Priceless.

"Captain!" One of the queers shouted at their captain. "It's Black Cage!"

He froze in terror. "Black Cage Hina! We're in her jurisdiction!"

"NO CAGE CAN HOLD THE AWESOME SCREAVER BARTEL!" I cheered.

Bon Clay kept imploring us to head south through the hole in the formation, but we declined seeing as how we promised to see Vivi in the eastern harbor.

Bon Clay seemed touched by our words, and turned to face his men.

"RUNNING NOW WOULD GO AGAINST EVERYTHING BON CLAY STANDS FOR! IF WE ABANDON ALLIES WHO ARE RISKING THEIR LIVES TO PICK UP A FRIEND, COULD WE LIVE WITH OURSELVES TOMORROW?"

He boarded his ship, and told his men to change clothes.

"We shall act as a decoy to draw away their attention so you may go back and get your princess." He said with tears in his eyes.

His ship sailed away, and he turned away very dramatically.

Made me sick it did.

* * *

It worked!

The Marine ships broke formation in order to chase the duck ship.

When the time was right, we dropped sails and continued onward.

We watched as the Marine ships grew closer to the other ship, and they opened fire.

"I"LL NEVER FORGET YOU BON CLAY!" Luffy cried.

Wow…what a nice guy.

And my admiration of him disappeared in 3…2…1…

"Meh."

Wasn't long until another blockage sailed at close quarters with our ship.

"ATTACK!"

"LET'S KICK SOME MARINE ASS!"

Zoro, Sanji, Luffy, and I leaped off the ship and began decimating the enemy soldiers, cannons, ships, etc.

I leaped in the air, aiming my right arm bazooka and my right leg bazooka.

-KABOOM-

It blew up the ship as I fell onto the broken deck and began pummeling the marines.

"HELL YEAH! I LOVE BEING A PIRATE!"

* * *

After the marines, we began hearing Vivi's voice echoing over the waves.

She was speaking about how she met a _ship_, how we went through obstacles and pushed through the darkness and danced with the light or something like that.

"It's Vivi!" Luffy cheered.

"No Luffy." Zoro told him. "They're just broadcasting her speak over the kingdom. She's clearly made up her mind."

"NO!" He refused. "I don't buy it! I say she's here!"

"Whatever." I said quietly.

"This is bad guys!" Usopp informed us. "The Marines are after us again!"

"How many?"

"I see at least six!"

"Damn it!" Zoro cursed. "Let's move!"

"EVERYONE!" We heard Vivi's voice call out.

We saw, standing on the coast of the desert, Vivi with Carue.

She was in some elaborate dress that...looked pretty good on her.

She waved at us as everyone shouted back at her.

Hell, I did too!

**"VIIIIIVIIIIIII!"**

See?

She took a deep breath, and spoke into a speaker. "I came to say good bye!"

"What?" Luffy said confused.

"Sorry, but I can't go with you! Thank you so much for everything. I'd like to go on more adventures, but I can't ignore the needs of my country. Which I love more than anything! Even you."

She looked at us with pleading eyes.

"We have to stay," she continued, "I hope you understand."

Luffy smiled. "I see." He agreed.

"Thank you." She said back. She began to…what else? Cry.

Not that that's a bad thing, she'd just a passionate girl!

"I will remain here and…fulfill my duty!" She said though her tears. "IF WE EVER MEET AGAIN…NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIMES PAST WILL YOU STILL CALL ME FRIEND?"

We looked at her for a long time in silence.

Luffy almost shouted, "YOU"LL FOREVER…"

-BAM-

Nami hit him in the face.

"You idiot! Don't reply got it? The Marines now know about Vivi and us. If they can prove it it's all over. She'll be considered a criminal!"

She turned him around. "Not another word."

Luffy looked at his arm.

I eyed him and he nodded.

"It doesn't…have to be a completely silent good bye." I said with a sly smile.

They all looked at their left arms and nodded.

We all lined up and revealed our marks.

-WHOOSH-

We held them up high, and never looked back.

-KABOOM-

The marines fired on us, causing water to rain down on us.

I don't know what she did after that, but I'm 99% sure that if you saw what we did, and added the song "We Are" to the background, it would be mighty freaking awesome.

I turned around, just so my right eye could see her. She was doing the same as we were, her and her duck showing their marks of friendship as well.

She was also holding up her token of me, the piece of my bazooka barrel, that shone in the distance.

I held up a thumbs up and smiled widely.

_So long...Vivi Nefetari. After we conquer the Grand Line, I'll have to pay you a visit._


	73. Chapter 73

The Seventh..._Eigth_ is Nico Robin

The Clock is Ticking Downward Upon Me

"Whoa! Those Marines are fast!" Luffy shouted.

"Yeah, or we're slowing down!" Sanji told him otherwise.

The Marines were on our tail again, firing more of those stupid spears into the ship.

We were taking on a lot of water. Usopp and Chopper were doing their best to plug up the holes.

"Here they come." Zoro sneered, grabbing his swords.

"We have to fight." Sanji stepped next to him.

"RIGHT!" Luffy joined in. "LETS…"

-BAM-

They all tripped on a hug pile of black spears that Usopp pulled out of the ship.

"I'll get rid of them." Luffy said.

-WHOOSH- -WHOOSH- -WHOOSH-

In a flash he tossed all of the spikes towards the three Marine ships, causing them to stop in their tracks.

"Ok," Luffy said, oblivious to his actions. He brushed off his hands and turned around. "Now we ready?"

"Now's our chance! Full speed ahead! Shake them off!" Zoro called out.

* * *

Through an hour of rowing away from the sinking Marine ships, we finally lost them.

I threw the giant oar down in victory. "WHOO!"

"Looks like the Marines have stopped following us." Zoro said thankfully.

Everyone else had their heads though the railing, looking back with teary faces and groaning.

"What's with the pathetic groans?" He shouted.

They all whined at the same time, "**I MISS VIVI!"**

I would be with them too, if I wasn't trying to forget that I blew her off.

"I need a drink. A really big one." I moaned, equally as pathetic, and dropped to the ground.

"If you wanted her to join that bad, then you shouldn't have let her leave." Zoro sneered.

Everyone was outraged by what he said.

"YOU SAVAGE!" Chopper shrieked.

"BLOCKHEAD!" Nami shouted.

"Idiot." Sanji mumbled.

"Three-Sword Style." Luffy huffed.

"Saying Three-Sword Style isn't an insult!" Usopp corrected him.

"Four-Sword Style?" Luffy huffed soon afterword.

Something clicked in my brain.

I widened my gaze and stood up.

-CREEK-

The door to the cabin opened up.

"Looks like we finally escaped the firing squad." Our soon-to-be crewmate said casually.

It was Miss Sunday. Oh I'm sorry…_Nico Robin._

In mere seconds of shouting and running, we had her surrounded, aiming our weapons at her.

She didn't seem to notice, seeing as how she just walked slowly past Zoro's sword.

"Who's she?" Chopper asked.

Sanji was on the railing, a heart in his eye. "I don't know but she's SO damn beautiful!"

"Keep it in your pants Perv." I whispered to him.

-WHOOSH-

Arms appeared on our bodies and knocked our weapons out of our hands.

I hand no weapon in my hand, so her hand just forced my bazooka to aim directly at my face.

Clever little B-word isn't she?

She looked back with a slight smile. "Didn't I tell you before? Don't point such dangerous objects at me. Are you always so slow?"

"I swear to God I'm gonna…"

-THUD-

Two arms appeared on the deck and grabbed my feet, making me fall flat on my face.

"_kll tht stepd bcth._"

She merely answered our questions (How long you been here? Are those Nami clothes? Etc.) pulled up a chair and sat on the deck.

"Monkey D. Luffy." She said, staring at him. "It hasn't be so long that you forgotten what you did to me, has it?"

Sanji was about to get in a hissy fit, before I got back up and pried him off of Luffy.

"Calm yourself. She's the bad guy. Crocodile's right hand woman."

"THAT DOESN'T EXCUSE LUFFY…"

-BAM-

He laid on the ground, rubbing his head.

"Yeah, it does."

"_All stole-ways must leave the ship immediately." _Usopp announced on a megaphone.

Do megaphones exist in this...IDK, IDC.

"Stop lying!" Luffy shouted. "You know I didn't do anything to you!"

Wrong." She said and rested her arms over her head. "And what you did to me was unbearable. Go ahead, admit it."

Sanji got right back up and began threatening Luffy again.

"Who honestly cares?" I said.

She opened a eye and looked at me frown.

"Anything that he did to you was rightfully justified seeing as how you were a total bitch trying to destroy Vivi's kingdom."

She frowned at me. She flicked her hand and a arm appeared to clamp my mouth shut.

"I would appreciate it if you don't use such vulgar language at me, Mr. Bartel."

_"."_

(I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL FUCKING BEAT YOU YA BITCH!)

"You're not making any sense. What do you want me to do?" Luffy groaned as Sanji continuously strangled him.

She sat over and smiled. "I want…to join you."

"**WHAAAAAAT?"**

_"HMMMMMMMM?"_

She then explained how her last hope of living was extinguished when she found out that the Arabasta Poniglyph (the one she spent 20 years looking for) was revealed to not have the info on the Real History that she wanted. So she was all set on dying in the tomb, but Luffy pulled her ass out of there and saved her life.

"I wanted nothing more than to die at that very moment, but you forced me to live. That's your crime. There's no place for me to go or return to, so I've decided to join you."

Luffy nodded. "I see your problem. Guess there's no other choice. Welcome."

"**LUUUUUUFFYY!**"

_"LMMMMMMFMMM!"_

The hand over my mouth disappeared in a small cloud of flower petals.

Everyone was staring at him in shock and disbelief, except for Sanji who was swaying back and forth with a lovesick look on his face.

Luffy smiled at us." There's nothing to worry about. Trust me! She isn't a bad person."

_I don't trust her. It'll take a while before I **can** trust her._

_She'll be your crewmate for a while, so you better learn quickly._ Michael said.

* * *

Usopp was busy interviewing Robin with questions as Luffy and Chopper were playing with one of her special arms that she had that was placed on the deck of the ship.

"PAY ATTENTION!" Usopp shouted at her. "I want some straight up and honest answers! I'll ask you one more time! What's your name?"

Before she could say anything, Usopp seemed to confuse himself and say, "My name is Usopp, hello."

"Nico Robin." She replied.

"Nico Robin." He repeated. "So, what's your occupation?"

"Archeologist."

"Are you serious?" He said in surprise.

"It runs in my blood." She said with pride. "I come from a long line of them."

_Yeah yeah, on your little island called…umm…_

_Ohara._ Michael said.

_Yeah yeah, Ohara. That place. The place that was blown up thanks to the Buster Call right?_

_That seems to be a little unfair Screaver. She was only eight._ Michael defended.

_SHE BROKE ALL THE BONES IN MY BODY!_

_Dislocated, but I see your point._ Michael concluded.

She was explaining how she "_left for the sea"_ at age eight, and decided to work for various "_rouges"_ to get where she was (i.e. Crocodile.)

She went on how she was good at "_maneuvering"_ around "_obstacles"_ to achieve goals, and how she would be a vital "_asset"_ to our crew.

"Yeah yeah, you and your assets. Wait I didn't mean…I mean that they are but…never mind."

I REALLY hoped that Nami didn't hear me.

Fortunately, she didn't.

-BAM-

Nami kicked the side of the ship to get our attention.

"Seriously?' She scoffed. "I'm disappointed. You two are pathetic!"

She was directing that insult at Luffy and Chopper, who were now ROTFLOL-ing from being tickled by generated arms.

"Until recently she was the Vice President of a crime syndicate. And you _really _think such a woman should join us?"

_Five...four...three…_

"You may have fooled these idiots." She said all tough like. "But I'm not convinced. You pull anything, and I'll PERSONALLY kick you out!"

"Oh I just remembered," Robin said all casual like as she set a bag of _something_ on the table. "I brought along some of Crocodile's jewelry with me."

-CHA CHING-

Oh she was high-tailing it like a dog to a plate of steak.

"WOW! I LOVE YA SISTER! YOU'RE THE BEST!"

-FACE PALM NOISE-

Well, three down, only four remained. Zoro, Usopp, myself, and…

-SLIIIIIDE-

Oh yeah, stupid me. Only three.

Sanji slid down the railing, holding a cup of steaming tea, the good china (or whatever you call it in this place), and a plate with a slice of cake.

He looked to the sky like some sort of poet and said with…oh what do you call it…idiocity? Pervertness?

_Passionately?_ Michael guessed.

_Sanji-like, that's what I'll call it._

Anyway, he recited all _Sanji-like_, "Ah…Love. Of the likes of which I've never seen! I'm captured by your spell! Held prisoner in your eyes!"

He walked around the table, stepping on chairs and waving his food around like some poetic nutball.

"I was adrift and floating at sea until you stuck me like a thunder bolt igniting my soul!"

(**Ugh. The pain of having these lines written word for word.**)

He sat the plate on the table.

"_A snack._" He said with…Sanjiness.

"Ah." Robin said with polite surprise. "Thank you."

"Look at him, falling all over himself." Zoro sneered in disgust.

"Yeah," Usopp agreed. "Well he was a lost cause from the start."

They were saying how _they_ were the only ones left on the ship who haven't submitted to her charms…

Until a shot of Luffy with two arms on his head and talking like Chopper caused Usopp to fall to the ground laughing.

Only two left.

Well, I know Zoro won't submit to her…at all...with hope.

He walked off, Robin soon following.

"Ah." Sanji gasped and rested his head on the table watching her walk up the steps (stalker much?) "She's great. And with an adult charm! She's _far_ different from Nami."

-BAM-

"YOU TWO TIMING, PERVERTED, SON OF A PEPPY LA PU I'M GONNA BASH YOUR STINKING HEAD IN FOR THAT!"

Nami wasn't even paying attention. She was still counting her newly acquired wealth.

"AY SUNDAY!" I shouted, very rude like.

She turned at me, frowning slightly.

I glared as rudely as I possibly could. "I just got one question for you."

She turned and tried to put up a polite smile. "And what may that question be?"

I walked up to her, lumbering my arms like I was some top heavy thug, and said quietly, "Where's…my…bazooka?"

She blinked, like she didn't see that coming, and flicked her arm.

A line of arms formed, leading inside the ship, and like an assembly line pulled out my silver bazooka.

"I never let go of it since our encounter in Rainbase. I thought if I had ran into you, I would have given it back." She tried to explain.

I snatched it up. "Yeah yeah. You and your crazy hands. I still don't trust you, and I ain't gonna until...until...until I FEEL LIKE IT!"

I climbed up to my nest and covered the tarp.

* * *

When I get angry, I would usually play video games to work out my aggressions.

However, seeing as I only had Pokemon (which is still a kick ass game) I wasn't able to work out as many as I had hoped.

_Alright, the sixth badge is mine. And Quilava finally evolved! Good, I'll need him when I fight the ice leader, and I need to evolve that Tyrouge that I got from the Black-belt man I found in the mountains. I think I'll make him a…Hitmonlee. Yeah, hehehe._

Before I knew it, it was night time.

No one was out, jus me in my crows nest.

Just an average job for your average delinquent look out.

"Yo Michael! Get your ass out here! I'm in the mood for a fight!"

I leaped down, he was already there waiting for me.

He had a big fur coat on, over his original outfit, similar to Crocodile's.

I frowned at him.

"What?" He said, shrugging his shoulders. "I liked the look."

"Well I hated the man, so lose it."

He took them off, and hit his fists together.

"Have at it, Screaver." He said and he dove at me.

He gave one strong hit to my left arm, but my arm stopped it completely.

"How's about this?"

-**BAM** -

My left fist sent him almost flying off the ship.

"Whoa! That arm's got some kick to it." He said in surprise.

I looked down at it.

_Advantages huh?_

I smiled. "Well well well, let's see what this puppy can do."

* * *

My left arm was freaking beast!

Nononono, that's not the correct format…it was FREAKING BEAST!

It was like it was...Superman.

That's all I could pretty much say. It punched and blocked like I had super strength.

I mean, more than I normally had.

"That Alistair does good work I see." Michael said in annoyance as he rubbed his head in pain.

"I think that's enough for tonight, wouldn't you agree Michael?" I said, all cocky and full of myself.

He got up and walked over to me.

He grabbed my left arm and examined it.

He concluded his examining and threw my arm down in anger.

"_Pfft._ Big deal." He said, grumbling like a little kid.

"Awe come on, cheer up buddy!" I said, patting him on the back.

He picked up his coat. "Anyways, on a different note, I kinda wanted to discuss something about what happened on Arabasta."

I shrugged. "If it's about Vivi…"

"No no, not Vivi. I understand your conflict, but no matter what you have to continue on."

"Ok...then why do ya want to talk about?"

"What I wanted to talk about was the overall consequences of that little firework you set off."

"Let me guess, I lost more of my life force?" I said.

"forty years left." He said in fear.

I stood up and rushed close to his face.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

He pushed me away.

"Have you not fully understood that your bazookas are a manifestation of your own soul? I mean, there's nothing that can truly break your bazookas Screaver. No sword or attack like that. But…from the inside, and a explosion as powerful as that…it was too much. You're loosing more years every saga. At this rate, you might not even survive up to the separation. Only you have the ability to break it, from the inside."

I fell to the floor.

"Well, what else could I have done? Let everyone keep fighting?"

He shook his head. "You misunderstood again. Just because I told you, doesn't mean I said it was the wrong decision."

I sighed. "I need to become a Death Scythe soon."

"Well, you're close, just don't screw anything else up, and you should be able to make it." Michael said.

"Pffft. With my luck, I probably will."

"Then try to not! And why don't you...oh gee...THINK before getting into trouble?"

"Shut up." I said as I was about to climb back up.

"Always good to talk to ya, Screaver." He nodded, and faded away.

I climbed back into the crows nest, fluffed my pillow and fell asleep.


	74. Chapter 74

**Hello readers. Kingman13 here. I want to appologise to you for taking so long in adding this chapter.**

**The thing is, or was, my computer that had all my documents had gotten a terrible virus. So I had been put out of comission for a few days.**

**But fear not; the problem has been dealt with, the virus gone, my software updated, and God forbid I even get onto MangaFox _again_.**

**Also: 400+ reviews! Amazing! Thank you all so much! We'll break 1000 I'm sure of it!**

**And with all that stuff out of the way, here is your new chapter.**

* * *

The All-Knowing Robin

Salesmen and Slippery Floors

It was a rough night, but morning came, as it always did.

I didn't really notice, but several days passed by. Everything sort of fell into routine.

Even Robin, though I still resented her, became almost normal.

Didn't make me feel any better, but it was…tolerable.

_I thought you liked her when you two first met._ Michael asked.

_That was before she broke all the bones in my body. And she's not wearing the cowgirl outfit, so she get's no love from me._

_Honestly, you're worse than Sanji._ He concluded.

I was inspecting the deck, as I normally did before lunch time. Looked like it could use a good scrubbing after lunch settles.

Luffy and Usopp were passed out, fishing. Nami and Sanji were inside the ship. Zoro was taking his afternoon nap next to the stairway, and Chopper was in his doctor's room.

Typical day in the Going Merry.

I began humming a tune.

_I don't want to set the wooooooorld…oooooon…fireeeeeeee._

_IIIII don't want to staaaart…the flame in your heeeaaaart._

Ah, Fallout 3. I wasted over three months of my life on that game. If only I could get them back.

Seriously, with the way I burn away my life, I could use those days back!

Bah, no use crying over spilled milk.

So where was I?

"I wonder what Sanji's making for lunch?" I said to my self.

"I think Sanji said we are having stew." Someone answered my question.

"Oh, why thank you…"

I turned to see it was, in fact, _Robin_.

My smile faded instantly.

"Oh, well…_thank you._" I said.

She was holding a book. She was trying to act polite and pleasant.

I was, on the other hand, not.

"So, Mr. Bartel, tell me...have there been…any visitors on the ship the last few nights?" She asked curiously.

-GULP-

"Um…whatever could you mean?" I said, not changing my attitude.

"Well, I could have sworn I heard something one night ago." She said, faking innocents. "And since you are the _assigned_ look out on this vessel, I assumed that you would be the appropriate person to ask if there was anything a rye. So…was I correct to assume?"

I shook my head. "No, there was nobody on this ship. As far as I know. You must have been hearing things."

"I see." She said, seemingly uninterested. "Well, whenever you're finished, lunch will be waiting."

She turned around, I made a silent sigh of relief.

"Maybe Mr. Michael could join us, whenever he is ready." She said casually.

My mouth dropped.

_**…**_

She turned back towards me. "That is…if he is present on the ship at the moment."

_**UCK…!**_

I turned to her, sweat rolling down my face.

"Michael?" I said curiously. "I have no idea who this Michael is."

She nodded. "Whatever you say, Mr. Bartel."

And she walked up the stairs, into the galley.

"**SHIT!**"

_Calm down…_ Michael tried to say.

_ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? SHE KNOWS!_

_It's ok, she doesn't know everything._ He tried to say. _Besides, whos gonna believe her? We've been here since the beginning! She just got here! Just calm down and play innosence._

Ok ok, I wasn't screwed _yet_. If I know Robin (and I shouldn't say I do) she wasn't the kind of gal to blab secrets. I'd be ok…probably.

I wiped my forehead, and walked to the galley.

"Oh Screaver!" Luffy shouted happily, with his mouth half full of food. "You're just in time for lunch! Sanji's food is the BEST!"

I nodded at everyone and dug in.

Luffy was right, even though he will eat anything.

He served a delicious meat and vegetable stew, along with a slice of fine French bread (at least that's what it looked like.)

I was done before I knew it.

I eyed Robin, who was at the end of the table, reading and sipping coffee.

And, most importantly, keeping…her mouth…**shut**.

"Nami my dear!" Sanji yelled. "I making you a very special drink! It will be ready soon!"

She smiled at him and said, very cutely, "Thank you Sanji. I'm sure it'll be great!"

That sent him off into a spin of…Sanjiness.

"Jeez." I sneered, taking a drink of water.

I eyed Robin again, still reading her book.

"Well I'm done." Usopp said, rubbing his belly in satisfaction. "Come on Luffy, let's go fish."

"Alright!" He cheered. "I'm gonna catch a really big one this time!"

"Can I come too?" Chopper asked timidly.

"Sure!" Usopp agreed, and the three headed out the door.

Zoro yawned and got up as well. "Time for some exercise." He said.

Everyone else cleared out as well. I stayed behind to help Sanji clean some of the dishes while he was preparing something else.

Why? Because I don't want Luffy to break all the dishes again! You ever try and eat soup with your hands?

Well Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper were fishing as they said. Nami was looking out at sea, checking the forecast with her…Weather-vision or whatever she has to predict weather. Robin was back in her _same_ spot, reading the _same_ book.

And, most importantly, keeping…her mouth…**shut**.

I looked up and found Zoro, doing push ups on ONE thumb on the top of the ship.

RIGHT OVER MY CROWS NEST!

"YOU BETTER NOT FALL ON MY STUFF OR I'LL KICK YO ASS!" I hollered casually at him.

"SHUT UP! LIKE I'D EVEN FALL OVER!" He yelled back, like we were having a casual conversation.

Typical day on the Going Merry, as it were.

I looked out to the ocean.

_I wonder what my folks are doing?_

_No one in the whole world can know that. Not even me._ Michael said, butting into my thought.

_Still, no harm in thinking about them, right?_

"NAMI DEEEAAAR!" Sanji shouted.

He walked out, holding a tray with a single glass of green drink, with a prideful smile on his face (like he did something _so_ amazing.)

Yeah right. Bite me.

"I have brought you an _amazing_ tropical beauty drink!" He said.

Told you.

"It's specially designed for keeping your skin smooth!" He stated and handed her the drink.

She took it, but just as that happened the three nincompoops (Luffy, Usopp, Chopper) chimed in with, "SAAAAANJIII! COME ON, I WANT SOME!"

He sneered at them. "What for? What the hell do you three care about having smoother skin anyway?"

"TO BE CUUUTER!"

He came back and served them three glasses of the fruity drink.

Made me hit my forehead in annoyance…it did.

"I GOT ONE!" Luffy cheered as he pulled his fishing rod.

-SPLASH-

-BOOM-

"GUAAH!"

A huge wave splashed as Luffy yanked his prize out of the water.

-CLANK-

A big hunk of…something fell onto the deck.

"What is that thing?" Luffy asked in disgust.

Upon further inspection, it was a huge metal shell with blue tentacles and two yes poking out of the bottom.

In other words…a Ominite.

_Luffy caught a Pokémon? Nah, you have to get a fossil and take it to the scientist in order to get one of those._

"That's a really big sea snail." Luffy commented.

"Yeah Luffy," Usopp said in disagreement, "I don't think that's what it is."

I kicked it a few times. It made a hollow metal sound.

"Don't touch it!" Usopp feared. "It could wake up and suck your face off!"

"What do you think we should do with it?" I asked them.

Luffy was drooling at the mouth. "Let's have dinner."

"Are you nuts?" Usopp said in annoyance.

"Boiled maybe?" Sanji was pondering.

"NOT YOU TOO!" Usopp panicked.

-CLICK- -CLICK-

The center of the shell popped open like a hatch.

What came out made us all panic, even me.

"Oh wow! I thought I was going to die for sure!"

What came out was…was…

"Oh, hi everyone!"

"Who the heck are you?" Luffy asked, flabbergasted at our new guest.

It was a man, with slick black hair that was pointed one way. He had big round eyes, really rosy cheeks, thick eyebrows, a thick lower lip, and a square chin. He was skinny, and was wearing a bright orange suit with a blue, poke-dotted shirt and yellow tie. He also wore a big, white sash with the word GEKIYASU! in red print. All his fingers had golden bands on them.

In other words…A FUCKING SALESMAN!

"OH DEAR!" He said as he scratched his head. "Please pardon me for not introducing myself sooner! I am Rice Rice from Transponder Snail Mail Order. I am available at a moment's notice to happily deliver anything you might need at your place of residence!"

He bowed. "So it's nice to meet you."

He gave us a _business_ smile that shined in the sunlight.

Why do I know what a business smile is?

Because I KNOW all about salesmen and what they are about.

"Transponder Snail Mail what?" Zoro asked, seemingly angry. "I've never heard of it!"

I didn't even notice he was there!

"Well you see I was in the process of making a delivery in the Escargot and got caught up in a terrible storm!"

Blah, blah, blah, terrible storm, blah, swimming around, blah, blah, we rescued him.

He pulled out a stack of thick books.

"I want to thank you all SO much for saving me from the wicked sea! It's not much, but I would like for you to have these catalogues. I can deliver anything in here to you!"

Zoro smiled. "That's cool! So you'll even deliver them out in the ocean!"

"Well no, I can't do that!" Rice said, still giving that disgusting smile.

Zoro's eye began twitching. "Oh. Okaaay."

Luffy and Usopp began digging around inside the giant snail machine.

"What's this?" Luffy asked as he yanked out one of his contraptions.

It was like a black stick, with two giant cannonballs on the end of them and a green handle.

Rice snatched it away, before turning his panicked look back into his business look.

"Since you've clearly given quite a liking to this item, I'll happily introduce you to it!" He agreed.

It was called the Buru Buru Blade, was the company's top product.

_Suuuuure_ it was.

Chopper began playing on some sort of weird bunny car or something. Rice called it the Abu Abu Slider, and the company's number one product.

"The last thing was top product and this is number one?" Sanji asked Zoro in confusion. "What's the difference."

"He's just trying to get money." I told them. "They will say anything and everything to get you to buy their half-baked crap."

Seriously, I've met some business men who would actually try and sell their own shit if it could _possibly_ turn a profit!

Usopp was trying another crazy device that was like a bench with two exercise balls slamming into your sides, called the Golden Fish and the company's _best-selling_ product.

He was offering those two things, plus 20 bottles of Mero-Mero Juice, and 26 volume encyclopedia set to _sharpen your mind_, plus a pair of binoculars that were perfect for _bird watching_! All for 20,000 berri.

_Well, considering my debt to Nami, that wasn't so bad as I thought…WAIT! HE'S PLAYING ME LIKE A SUCKER!_

Sanji flipped through a catalog, and found a page with kitchen supplies.

In a flash, Rice pulled out AND explained in detail the knife's flexibility, origins, accessories, lifetime guarantee, and everything it came with (a dozen knifes + kitchen sheers + pairing knife + electric sharpener = $$$) for a price of 2900 berri.

_Hey Michael, just how much is a berri worth anyway?_

_Well, it resembles the Japanese yen so…I would have to say just move the decimal up two slots and that's what it would be in American._ He guessed.

_WHAT? IT'S PRACTICALLY A STEAL!_

Rice even tried and sell to Robin some smooth skin soap. She was mildly surprised at all the stuff he had in that snail.

He had from mineral water to cannonballs, or so he said.

"Do you sell stuff that's alive?" Luffy asked.

"Well…no we don't." He disagreed.

"Hey," Nami asked, "Do you have paper?"

"Paper?" Rice asked in confusion.

"Right." She said. "Strong paper, that's big and hard to tear. Something that it will take more than a sea breeze to damage."

The salesman lit up and said with vigor, "ABSOLOUTELY! PLEASE JUST LEAVE IT TO ME!"

He whipped out a huge stack of crisp, slightly vanilla, wide paper.

"Transponder Snail Mail Order is proud to present to you…THE ONE AND ONLY 1000 YEAR PAPER!"

His eyes grew freakishly wide as he explained that the paper came from the 1000 year tree, nothing will ever fade from it even if it was set out in the sun for 1000 years!

_Must've gotten the Alistair treatment huh?_ Michael joked.

_I was just thinking that!_

Nami's face lit up with excitement.

"How much is it?" She asked.

The salesman's expression became shady.

_Oh here it comes._

He said that the item was not for sale at the moment, and that it would probably take several years before she could actually get it.

Nami frowned, but then she said…AND I QUOTE… "There's no price I won't be willing to pay."

Everyone else's eyes grew wide and we had looks of complete terror on our faces.

"WHAAAAAAAT?" Luffy yelled.

"THIS IS THE SAME NAMI WHO WOULD RATHER COUNT MONEY THEN EAT?" Usopp exclaimed.

"THE SAME NAMI WHO LOVES MONEY MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF?" Zoro shouted.

"THE SAME NAMI WHO'S BEEN HANGING MY DEBT OVER MY HEAD LONGER THAN I CAN REMEMBER?" I yelled.

"AND SHE'LL PAY ANYTHING?"

Sanji was completely normal. "You guys might be over reacting."

The salesman smiled and offered it for…48,000,000 FUCKING BERRI!

"SOLD!" Sanji shouted.

We are stared at him as he looked upward with pride.

"You really have that many berri?" Zoro asked.

"No." He replied.

-WHOOSH-

He tied Luffy up.

"If we hand Luffy over to the Marines we'll collect the bounty and have plenty to spare." He said.

"WHAT?" Luffy screamed in anger. "NOOOOOO!"

"We're not letting you turn Luffy in for paper!" I shouted.

"Nami deserves this sacrifice." Sanji said.

"NO SHE DOESN'T!" Luffy shouted.

"Damn it Sanji!" I cursed.

"Hold on!" Rice said, a look of terror forming on his face. "You're Luffy, as in Monkey D. Luffy?"

"Yeah, that's me weird guy." Luffy said innocently.

The guy feel to the ground in fear.

"I just remembered that I have a very important appointment!" Rice said in fear with sweat and tears pouring down his face.

He darted for his sub screaming, "HAVE A NICE DAAAY!"

He leaped in the sub and it leaped into the water, ignoring our screams of it leaving behind it's stuff.

"Was it something we said?" Luffy asked.

"Oh well, he's gone, but at least we have a few things to remember him by." I said, picking up the stack of 1000 year paper and presenting it to Nami.

When she turned around and saw me holding the paper, her face lit up with excitement.

"Here ya go." I said.

She took it from me and said, "Thank you Screaver."

Sanji's jaw dropped in sadness. "BUT I WAS GONNA…"

"_BUT I WAS GONNA_…" I mocked him.

He frowned at me and threatened to kick me.

"So _the fuck_ what!"

* * *

Nami was about to go inside, when she announced to us that she was going to do some private work. And she wanted NO interruptions.

"Nami," Chopper asked, "what if the wind or currents change suddenly?"

She said not to worry, and that as long as the clouds in the sky don't change, we'll be ok.

She closed the door.

I saw that the giant shellfish mobile had left the deck to be all dirty, so I threw three brushes to Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp and ordered them to clean.

-BAM-

"What about you Shithead?" Sanji said as he planted his foot in my face. "Your cleaning too."

"Good luck with that." Zoro said as he was about to take a nap.

"YOU'RE WORKING TOO!" He shouted.

I knocked Sanji's foot out of my face.

"Well what about her?" Zoro asked as he pointed to Robin. "I don't see her helping!"

Sanji put on his…you know, I'll just call it his perv-smile, it makes it easier…and said, "She's got a doctor's note, she's to beautiful to help mop the deck."

-BAM-

I hit Sanji in the face.

"One: YOU ARE SO FULL OF SHIT IT'S COMING OUT OF YOUR EARS!"

"Two: YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HOW ATTRACTING A WOMAN WORKS, IT'S PATHETIC!"

"Three: DON'T FUCKING KICK ME IN THE FACE WITH THOSE DIRTY SHOES YA FUCKING PERVERT!"

Sanji turned to me and got close to my face. "That's rich, seeing as how_ your_ head is full of shit!"

"Oh how creative coming from a guy who can't think about anything other than women, Fucking Perv!"

"Kinda sounds like someone wants an ass beating!" He shouted back.

"You wish, small fish! You don't even have a bounty! You'd just be a waste of my time!"

"You think just because you have a bounty means I can't kick your ASS off this boat?"

"No, I mean that YOU SUCK!"

"Shithead!"

"Fucking Perv!"

"Asshole!"

"Bitch!"

"BOY!"

"**RAAAAAAAARGH!**"

-BAM- -BAM-

-SMACK-

-BOOM- -BOOM- -BOOM-

His foot was trying to kick through my fist, which was trying to break through his foot.

"GIVE UP AND GO BACK YOU YOUR SPICES, PERVERT COOK!"

"I THINK I RATHER GRIND YOU INTO PASTE!"

"HOW CAN YOU DO THAT IF YOUR HEAD'S BEEN SMASHED IN?"

We retracted our attacks.

"MUTON…"

"BAZOOKA…"

**-BAM- -BAM-**

Nami stopped the fighting, in the more violent way.

"Didn't I tell you all to be quiet?" She said in a harsh tone.

* * *

I was keeping look out, with a giant whelp forming on my head.

Sanji was bellow, watching the others clean.

_Lousy pervert, thinking he can boss me around._

Usopp and Chopper had learned a clever way to use the bunny car thing. When you rolled it back, it would spring forward even harder.

So, using Chopper as a seat, Usopp held on to the brush and was shot forward sliding on the deck, creating a huge floor of suds.

With Luffy's help, the whole deck was covered in bubbles.

_Something's not right here. There aren't normally that many bubbles._

Nami came out to see what the noise was.

I climbed down to get a closer look.

Zoro woke up and put his hand in the suds, picking a withered bar of the smooth skin soap the salesman was trying to sell.

"That isn't safe." I said.

"Oh, we'll be fine!" Usopp said, just as he landed into Luffy.

Luffy was knocked overboard.

"DAMN IT LUFFY!"

"GUM GUM BUNEGY JUMP!"

His arm stretched onto the goat head.

-CLICK-

I knew what he was going to do, and I wanted to stop it.

I pushed Sanji and Nami out of the way of the door.

"What are you…"

In a flash Luffy stretched back and was about to plow into me.

I moved my legs into a sumo position and held out my left hand.

I gripped my left bicep with my right arm, my left hand in a stop sign.

Luffy flew in my direction, probably going who knows how fast.

_If he get's through me, then he'll crash into whatever Nami's doing inside that room. I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN!_

"WHOA! Watch out you guys!"

-BAM-

With the combined force of my left arm, plus my right arm giving it even more strength, I slammed my open palm into Luffy's face.

By accident of course.

The energy was so strong, there was steam coming out from my hand, and his face.

"OOOOOOOW!" Luffy shouted as he fell to the ground, rubbing his face.

"How did…" Sanji exclaimed.

"Instinct." Was all I could say.

I helped Nami to her feet.

"I uh…" She was stunned.

"You don't want Luffy to wreck up anything inside, right?"

She blinked. "Yeah…You need to be more careful Luffy!" She yelled at him.

He rubbed his face in pain and nodded.

She looked up at the sky and saw that the clouds were beginning to move.

"Hey guys, we need to change the direction of the ship. There's a big storm coming in."

"Well, let's get to work!"


	75. Chapter 75

**Hello everybody, sorry I haven't updated in a week. School has kicked into overdrive and tripled the homework for me.**

**Don't worry, I'll still be able to provide new chapters, just if I miss an update one friday, and it isn't up the following weekend, just expect it will be next Friday.**

**Also, I'm working on the first movie chapter; it's going to be a seperate story, like how the actual movies are released seperate of the main story. I'll tell you guys once it's finished.**

* * *

The Grand Line is a Jerk

Falling Ships, Monkeys, and MOOOOONSTAAAAARS!

It was another night under the star filled sky, me staring out of the crows nest like so many times before.

The air was cool, the waves were calm, and I was tired.

_Why don't you, you know, go to sleep?_ Michael suggested.

_Not yet._

_Would you prefer to have a fight before you hit the hay?_

_You want to risk Robin catching us?_

_Doesn't matter to me._

_It WILL if we end up getting discovered._

_You're so paranoid. Just like your parents._

_It was more like my mom than my dad._

I had been through so much, I deserved a nice, long snooze.

And the snooze…was excellent.

* * *

I woke up the next morning feeling fresh and new. I had forgotten what a good night's rest felt like.

Everyone else was up as well, doing their own business.

Luffy and Chopper were fishing, Zoro was sleeping, Nami was looking out with her binoculars.

Another typical day on the Merry Go.

That is, until a small piece of wood fell into my hands.

I was confused. As I gripped it, it turned into dust.

"How in the…"

I looked up and…shit my pants in fear.

-FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT-

It was…it was…IT WAS…

**"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!"**

"What are you hollering about?" Nami shouted before shrieking in fear as she also looked upward.

"Are you okay Nami my dear?" Sanji asked as he ran outside.

Everyone looked up to where I was pointing to show…a GIANT FUCKING SHIP THE SIZE OF MOUNT RUSHMORE FALLING OUT OF THE FUCKING SKY!

_I'M SOOOOORRY FOR BLOWING YOU UP! NOW PLEASE TAKE YOUR SHIP BAAAAAACK!_

-BOOOM-

The ship crashed into the water next to us, sending a series of large waves shaking our ship violently. Debris and wood were raining from above us. We shouted and screamed as we tried to get our bearings.

In other words…**THE END OF THE WORLD!**

"GRAB A HOLD OF SOMETHING!" Zoro shouted.

"WHY ARE THERE SHIPS FALLING OUT OF THE SKY?" Nami shouted in fear.

"I KNOW!" Usopp said in a crazy fashion. "THIS IS ALL JUST A CRAZY DREAM!"

I quickly put my tarp over my crows nest as I jumped to the deck.

"BAAAAAAAH!" Usopp shouted as he was flung overboard.

I grabbed his foot.

"YOU AIN'T GETTING OFF THAT EASY!"

* * *

We were flung around for several more minutes until the waves calmed, the debris stopped falling, and everything was still.

"Ok, why did a ship just fall out of the sky?" Luffy asked in anger.

"Captain error?" Sanji guessed as he looked up.

"It's a clear sky so who knows?" Zoro concluded.

I was breathing heavily.

_Ok...ok...it's over. The ship stopped. But...I think I need a new change of pants._

"What's wrong Nami?" I asked, seeing as how she was frowning at the log pose on her wrist.

"The Loge Pose is broken!" She said. "It's pointing towards the sky!"

"It's not broken." Robin said, appearing the fuck out of nowhere. "The Log Pose registers an island with a strong magnetic pull and it's needle is reflecting that."

She looked upward. "If the needle is pointing towards the sky…then it must be pointing towards...Sky Island."

_Wow...that was kind of quick._

That got Luffy going. "THERE'S REALLY AN ISLAND FLOATING UP THERE?"

_Sky Island. Well…this is going to suck._

_You mean because you skipped like half of the episodes in the Sky Island arc?_ Michael guessed.

_I'M A SHAME TO ONE PIECE FANS EVERYWHERE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_

Yeah, I skipped some of the episodes in the arc…I knew it would bite me in the ass one day...maybe...sort of...ok not really.

"RAISE THE SAILS AND SET OUR COURSE TO SKY ISLAND!"

Robin shut him up my using her…Flower arms (new name) to clamp his mouth shut.

"Did you forget the face that we, you know, can't fly?" Sanji reminded him.

"To tell you the truth, everything I've ever heard about it was word of mouth. Rumor. I've never actually seen it." Robin told us.

"Of course because it's a lie!" Nami said.

_If I told them that Sky Island was a land build on top of clouds, inhabited by "God" and full of winged people…you know what? I'll just keep my mouth shut._

* * *

Robin had begun inspecting some of the debris that had fallen on our ship, including a dusty old skeleton.

The thing was pretty grim if you ask me.

She had rebuilt the skull, which seemed like it was drilled full of holes.

Chopper explained on how it was an ancient medical procedure called c-ca...cater...critter...thing.

So from that one skull, she deducted the following;

-The size of the skull showed he died in his late 30's.

-The condition of his teeth showed he came from the West Blue (they rubbed tar on their teeth.)

-The technique on his skull meant he died over 200 years ago.

-By flipping through a book she had showed that the ship's name was the St. Bliss, a scouting ship.

_Wow…I'm mildly impressed._

She asked us if we could find more evidence on the ship, but Zoro said it was already sinking.

With Luffy on top of it!

SINKING WITH IT!

"DAMN IT LUFFY! YOU CAN'T SWIM!"

* * *

We fished him out, but he had a great big smile on his face.

"If you're smiling after we had to save your ass for the hundreth time I'ma gonna..."

"I FOUND THE MOST AMAZING THING! SEE?"

He unrolled a piece of paper and revealed…a map to Sky Island!

Or as it was called: Skypiea.

"Good job Luffy. You get a pat on the back."

They cheered with our good luck.

But Nami told us we needed more information in order to get up there.

"Why don't we check the now sinking ship right next to us?" I suggested.

Nami suggested salvaging.

"This is the perfect oppertunity to try out my newest creation!" Usopp cheered.

* * *

"I look fuckin retarded." I cursed.

I don't know where or how they got these suits.

In fact, they weren't even suits! They were barrels with lenses and arm covers with a tub on top to provide air!

Genius.

"You'll be safe. Those barrels are my own special design!" Usopp said with glee.

"Then I'm kicking your ass after I get back."

It was me, Luffy (in a double barrel suit to cover his whole body) Zoro, and Sanji.

"Good luck!" Nami cheered.

"What are we supposed to find again?" Zoro asked, mildy annoyed.

"Anything that might give us more clues on how to get to Sky Island." Robin answered.

"Well men, dive...dive...dive..."

-SPLASH-

* * *

We all began to sink further into the blue water bellow.

It grew darker, and darker, and colder as well.

There was a whole entanglement of giant green sea snakes.

"_This is Chopper here._" I heard his voice say from the hole on top of me. "_Can you guys call off?_"

"This is Screaver, mildly annoyed at the huge snakes looking at me like an appetizer."

The snakes were eyeing us, licking their large green lips.

"KEEP GOING!" Nami ordered.

_You definitely made the right choice Screaver._ Michael said like some dick-sucking yesman.

_Shut…it…Micky._

We were just sinking even further until we saw a few guys swim towards us, holding some sort of hooks.

-BAM- -BAM-

Luffy and I knew Nami wouldn't want her ship to be taken, so we punched their lights out and pushed them upwards.

_She's gonna be so proud of me when I tell her we saved her ship!_

* * *

We finally reached the wrecked ship.

_I feel like on of those guys who've been searching for the Titanic but never found it._

We descended into the wreckage, swimming in and out of rooms and such.

It was in pretty bad shape. The walls were crumbling, skeletons were everywhere, like a battle had happened some time ago.

I accidently kicked one of them, breaking off his arm.

-CLUNK-

On his boney hand, was a glove.

Not just any glove, a very _strange _glove.

It had a rusted metal frame, faded leather, studs that were falling out, and a pink seashell on the palm of it.

_Sea shell glove? Wait…could this be…_

-RUMBLE-

The ship began to rumble underneath my feet.

-SHING-

Giant spike like things pierced the walls as I backed up.

I left the room, packing up the glove, and found the rest of the guys.

Luffy was shouting something, but I couldn't hear inside of my suit.

Some sort of metal soldiers got into the ship.

They pointed at us.

"Stop them!" One of them shouted.

-BAM-

-SHING-

-WHAM-

The six of them were no match for the four of us.

Then it really got weird.

Air bubbles were being pumped into the ship through the giant spikes.

In fact, in just several minutes, the entire room we were in was filled with air.

The ship was also rising. I could feel it in my feet.

We all threw off our suits.

"Check it out! We don't even need the barrels now!" Luffy said.

"Well I don't know how they pumped this much air into a downed ship," Zoro said, "but what I really want to know is who they are and why they're trying to salvage this thing."

"It kind of smells like...bananas and bad breath." I commented.

"I wonder if something bad happened to Nami and Robin up on the surface." Sanji asked.

-CRASH-

The wall was punched down by…a giant monkey?

"WHO DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU ARE? TRYING TO MUSCLE IN ON MY TURF?"

It looked like a monkey in orange overalls and a brown shirt, with bananas on his belt and head phones.

And I think it was wearing make up.

"Nice…make up?" Luffy said confusedly.

The monkey man's mood, which was in fury when he first got here, quickly changed into delight.

"Thanks! I think it adds a refined quality to my face!"

_You know what else would be a refining quality to your face…my foot!_

_Nah, he doesn't deserved it just yet._

* * *

For several minutes, we all had a polite conversation with the giant man. He told us his name was Mashira, King of Salvagers.

We were all laughing and having a grand ol' time until he saw the giant bags of loot we had with us.

The he went on a rampage.

"HOW DARE YOU STEAL FROM THE MIGHTY…"

-BAM-

I hit him in the face.

"Forget the suits! Let's beat it!" I shouted.

Sanji kicked a hole in the ship, causing water to flood in.

Grabbing Luffy and our bags, we pushed into the water and swam upward to our ship.

We could tell it was our ship because the second one was WAY to big to be ours.

* * *

We broke into the surface, and I tossed Luffy aboard.

Then the other two jumped and pulled up to the railing.

I was the last one up, and boy I was exhausted.

I slowly pulled up to the deck and collapsed.

"Not…made…for swimming."

"SCREAVER!" Chopper screamed and ran over to me. "DON'T DIE! SOMEONE GET A DOCTOR!"

I pat him on the head and smiled. "You're the doctor, smart ass."

"How did you survive from the turtle?" He asked.

I looked back. "Turtle?"

It was, in fact, a monstrous turtle. The size of an island, no, a whole continent!

It had just turned the giant ship we were salvaging into a bite sized snack.

"Oh, that turtle…"

-THUD-

I fell over, crying like a baby.

"I WAAANNA GO HOOOOOOOME!"

_Too bad._ Michael said.

_There's only so much one guy can take!_

_-_WHOOSH-

I looked up and noticed it had night time.

I looked back and asked them, "Hey, when did it become night time?"

Nami was busy slapping Luffy so he would get up, and Zoro and Sanji were busy talking to the others about the giant monkey.

"ROOOOOAR!"

Mashira leaped out of the water and landed on our boat, threatening to destroy our ship if we didn't give back his treasure.

The other crew mates on the monkey's ship (by the way, there was another giant ship next to us, which was big and had a monkey figure head) were trembling and shouted, "CAPTAIN, LOOK BEHIND YOU!"

We all looked and…

I suffered multiple heart attacks, permanently cured hiccups forever, and above all else shrieked like a five year old girl.

Behind us were the silhouettes of some sort of winged warriors with spears.

But the size…the size…They would be, hands down, the largest and scariest thing I ever saw in my entire life.

They made Laboon look like a minnow, and the giant turtle go from the size of Texas to the size or Rhode Island!

The moment it raised it's spear, pointed directly at us, was when I almost died from…WTFHSZOMGWTFIGDINLMMFHS!

"**SEA MONSTER!**"


	76. Chapter 76

**Hey guys. I've got the method for accepting new characters all figured out.**

**I will post a want add on my main page, give some things for you to fill out, and then send me them in a PM.**

**The 1st one is on my page right now, and will close in about a week. So get posting.**

* * *

Arrival on Jaya

The Invasion of the Snobby Pirates

* * *

I think our oars multiplied into four in order for us to escape, proving that even our ship was terrified of what was happening.

We were rowing as fast as fucking lighting away from the…FUCKING MONSTERS!

We didn't stop until the sun shown brightly, and even then we kept rowing because of the…FUCKING MONSTERS!

When we were done, we all collapsed from exhaustion from all the paddling we did in order to get away from the…**GOD DAMN, MUTHUFUCKIN MOOOONSTAAAAAARS!**

"That couldn't have been real." Zoro exclaimed.

"Those things were taller than the sky." Usopp gasped.

Sanji lit a cigarette again and grumbled, "The Grand Line is an endless parade of mystery and annoyance. Just look at the nightmare of just making it through today."

"First there was that huge galleon that fell through the clouds on top of us." Zoro said.

"The Log Pose's needle started pointing towards the sky." Nami stated dumbfounded.

"We try and salvage the ship surrounded by giant sea snakes." I groaned.

"A psycho make-up wearing monkey shows up and blocks our way." Usopp grumbled.

"And then a gigantic sea turtle came and ate our salvage ship." Chopper added in.

"Then darkness fell." Robin said.

"Because the biggest monsters I've ever seen in my life blocked out the sun!" Luffy shouted, still freaked out.

"I must admit even I was intimidated by those things." Mashira said calmly.

_Wait…WHY IS HE HERE?_

"BEAT IT!"

-BAM-

Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji booted the guy off the ship.

* * *

The other guys showed her all the crap they found in the ship.

I didn't join them, seeing as all I had was a rusty…glove with a shell on it.

_This shell, isn't it one of those…dials I think they're called._

_Yes. _Michael informed me. _Particularly a Impact Dial. It must have been outfitted to that glove as some sort of weapon, you know with the whole Sky Warfare and all._

_You remember more than I do Michael._

It was in pretty bad shape I would have to guess. But even a guy like me, who had little tech knowledge, could see how it worked.

Pulling the glove on my left hand I began pushing all the studs back in. It was a tight fit. I could feel the notch of the dial push into my palm.

All I had to do was flick my wrist forward ever so slightly to push it all the way.

I did so; nothing happened.

_It needs to absord force to use it._

I picked up a big barrel and walked up the steps, past an on-looking Robin.

"And what are you doing with that barrel, Mr. Bartel?" She asked curiously.

"An experiment."

I put it on the back deck. I winded up my arm.

"Open handed, like from before."

I inhaled.

"_HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…_"

I slammed it into the barrel as hard as I could.

-PSSSST-

It made a hissing sound as it slammed into the dial and clicked the button.

The barrel didn't even move.

I retracted the glove and looked at the dial, now red and hissing.

"What are you doing Screaver?" Nami asked, looking rather impatient. "Didn't you find anything on that ship?"

I turned and pointed to the glove.

She grit her teeth. "THAT'S IT?"

She was about to come up to me and probably hit me in the head, but I slammed my open fist down on the barrel.

-DIIING-

**-KABOOM-**

The barrel was obliterated into splinters.

She jumped back in surprise.

I was just standing there, and I held up my new glove.

"I think I found something good."

* * *

I was up in my crows nest, waiting for our next island to come into view. Luffy had declared that we were going to an island called Jaya.

I was scrubbing the rust off the metal with a scrub-brush that Sanji gave me.

_This is perfect._

_How so?_ Michael asked.

_Impact Dials are really good when used as weapons, but they cause negative side affects to the user as well. But, seeing as how my new left arm absorbs the shock from that, now I can use it without worrying about hurting myself._

_Very deductive thinking._ He agreed.

Still, I needed to fix it. The metal cage that held it in place was missing some studs, so it was kind of loose. I decided to use some rope to hold it together until we could find the right parts to fix it.

_It's gonna be SOOOOO awesome!_

I was drowning everything else out, so I didn't even notice anything else until we finally pulled into port.

It was a very exotic place, filled with ships and buildings, not like any other town I would say. In fact, with all the tall buildings and beaches, it kind of looked like a resort.

* * *

We walked out to the town, and it was filled with pirates.

Big, ugly, stinkin' pirates.

"Now this seems like my kind of town!" Luffy said with glee.

"We'll have no problem fitting in here." Zoro said as well.

It was Luffy, Zoro, myself, and Nami.

"I got my tough face on! So if anyone wants to mess with me…"

Nami pinched his ear. "No fighting! Promise me!"

She turned to us. "That goes for you two as well."

I frowned. "If someone else throws the first punch, then I'll end it so fast, it won't even be considered a fight!"

-BAM-

"No fighting. Got it." I said, rubbing my head.

We were just walking until we found an old guy fallen on the ground, next to a tall, pale greenish horse.

He had a big fur coat, long blond hair, and weird tattoos on his face.

"Hey," He asked weakly, "Sorry to bother you. But will you help me up?"

"Screaver, give me a hand." Zoro said in annoyance.

"Sure."

We tossed him onto the horse.

"Hey, would'ja look at that. I'm up on my horse again." He said in surprise.

_Poor old coot._

"Let's get out of here, Stronger."

-THUD-

The horse fell over.

"The horse too?" Zoro and Luffy said in annoyance.

"Thank you kindly stranger." He said. "I don't have much money now a days, but…car for an apple?"

He pulled out a basket full of bright red apples.

"You take us for fools?" Zoro said in anger.

"Hey look! Apples!" Luffy cheered and reached to pick one up.

"Well, do you take _most _of us for fools?" I asked.

He snatched one up and bit it.

-KABOOM-

A tall building next to us exploded randomly.

"Well, that was random." I commented.

Luffy swallowed the bite, and the old man smiled creepily.

Nami demanded he cough up the apple, but Luffy already swallowed it.

"No worries." The old man said. "If he had eaten one of the bad ones, he would have died on the first bite."

He swallowed, still smiling. "Your lucky."

The old man on his horse walked into an alleyway, and disappeared.

* * *

Nami was angry. "What's with this town?"

"Beats me." Luffy said, arms over his head.

"You should care, seeing as how you were almost killed for no reason." She said.

"Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later." He said innocently.

She was getting so angry about this.

"Will you quit worrying Nami! It's obvious that Marines aren't in this town, so we can afford to be a little reckless."

She turned to me. "We can still get run out of this town if we make ourselves too open! And then how will we find out how to get to Sky Island?"

"Hmmm, gee, maybe GO TO ANOTHER STUPID TOWN! This whole keeping our heads down shit is not gonna cut it in a PIRATE'S town!"

"This is our only shot to keep going through the Grand Line, so just DO WHAT I SAY!"

I grit my teeth, and scoffed.

"To think, I could have...never mind."

She cocked her head to the side. "What are you blabbering about?"

I shook my head. "Nothing! Let's just find this damn info and get the hell out of here!"

I turned to see Luffy and Zoro looking like they were about to get into a fight with...some sort of roof-jumping mexican wrestler.

_Why is nothing ever consistent in this damn place?_

* * *

We walked into a lovely resort area.

Big fancy buildings, palm trees, and a lovely view of the ocean...ONLY 10,000 BUCKS PER NIGHT!

"This place is gorgeous." Nami gasped.

"Um, excuse me..." a cowardly voice said behind us.

A strange looking twitchy man appeared from behind a tree and told us that the entire place had been rented out by some guy named Bellamy, and that all other people were forbidden to ender.

Zoro looked at one of the buildings. "Someone rented out this entire place?"

"If Mr. Bellamy sees you here he'll have my head removed fro my body so PLEASE for my sake!" The old man said, twitching even faster.

"Come on," Luffy said, "I'm sure he won't mind."

"Who the hell is this Bellamy guy anyway?" I asked, rather annoyed with him already.

"What's going on here?" A dark and raspy voice said from behind me.

The old man shrieked in terror.

I turned to see a tall man in a ridiculously expensive and _ridiculously _furry coat. He had long white hair, thick lips, a golden chain around his neck, red striped pants, and what seemed to be his whore underneath his arm.

Ok, maybe that was a bit harsh (not really.)

A blond woman wearing a bandana and shades, a low cut frilly shirt, and a equally expensive and furry coat over her shoulders.

There. Are ya happy? Yer happy, good.

But what was really weird was the strange tattoo on his chest: a white smiley face with a black line crossed through it.

_That tattoo is eerily familiar._

_I agree. He's not a good guy._ Michael stated.

_Naw shit really?_

"What are these scum bags and what are they dong in _our _hotel?" He asked rather snobbishly.

_Scum bags? Oh you are so asking for a ass whooping ya pampered douche bag._

"Mr. Saquiss! Welcome back!" The manager said with terror in his voice. "I told them to leave, but they won't listen!"

"I don't really care!" The girl barked. "Just get them out of here! We're paying a _lot_ of money to have this place to ourselves!"

I flexed my arm in anger.

_These people…they're worse than those snobbish rich people in my family._

The man looked down at Luffy. "You heard the man. Get out of here before I throw you out!"

_Threatening my captain…that's strike two asshole._

Luffy looked dumb-founded at the man. He pointed him out to us. "Hey guys, do you mind if I beat him up?"

Nami and the manager shouted, "WHAAAT?"

The man laughed. "You're going to beat _me_ up? HEHEHAHA! Hilarious."

"If Luffy won't, then I will ya snobbish asshole." I muttered.

He looked at me. "Oh is that so? Bunch of smart-mouths we got here." He told his girl.

They shared a chuckle.

"Seriously though, those are rags you're wearing." He said, and dug out something from his pocket.

-CHINK-

He tossed a handful of money at Luffy. "Here. Go buy some new rags so you don't look like an orphan."

_Just say the magic word asshole, just say it._

The woman taunted us a little, and the guy responded as any asshole would.

Zoro was looking down right murderous.

I was too.

Nami's stare was so intense it could…do…something…whatever, it was scary.

Luffy however was…not.

"Sure! I'll take free money!"

He was about to grab it before Nami grabbed his face.

"Let's go." Nami said. "These jerks can't help us!"

_NAMI DECLINED MONEY? IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!_ Michael shouted.

_**Shut up.**_

…_sorry._

We walked away, leaving him there laughing at us like the asshole he was.

* * *

We made our way to a local bar, ordering cherry pies for Luffy, a mug of alcohol for Zoro, a special drink for Nami, and…a root beer for me.

_What? Got a problem with root beer?_

Nami was still pissed off. The bartender had asked us what was wrong and she told him what happened.

She slammed her now empty glass on the counter. "Man, that REALLY pisses me off!"

_Told'ja._

"That's the shame," The barman said out of nowhere. "Cause you know, Mock Town's economy depends on pirates throwing money around showing off power they may or may not have."

"So what you're saying is," I asked, "that the town's wealth is made off of pirates who get into _mine's bigger_ contests?"

"Pretty much." He responded.

"So poor pirates are allowed on the island?" Nami asked rudely.

The barman gave her a free drink to calm her, and also warned us about the new wanted posters were going to arrive in town in a few days.

"HEY FATSO!" Luffy shouted with a look of disgust on his face.

"HEY BARKEEP!" Another man right next to him shouted.

Come to think of it, I don't know how I missed him.

He was a mountain of a man with dark tan skin, wearing a faded white button down shirt that was wide open, extremely long and messy black hair, and he was even missing several of his giant teeth.

He was smiling and shouting with food in his mouth.

They then both shouted in sync, "THIS CHERRY PIE TASTES…"

"FREAKING HORRIBLE!" Luffy said.

"FREAKING DELICIOUS!" The other guy shouted.

They looked at each other and gave the other a dirty look.

They took big gulps with their drinks and the same thing happened, only in reverse.

Luffy loved the drink when the big dude hated it.

"I think there's something wrong with your taste buds kid." He snarled.

"I think there's something wrong with your big fat head." Luffy said back.

"Hey barkeep!" Luffy shouted. "I'll take fifty steaks to go!"

"And I'll take fifty-one of those_ delicious _cherry pies to go!" The other man shouted.

"Wait, make that fifty two steaks!" Luffy changed.

"Better make that fifty three pies!"

"54 steaks!"

"55 pies!"

"60 steaks!"

"70 PIES!"

"80!"

"A HUNDRED!"

-CLANK-

Luffy stepped on the counter and they both held up their fists.

"**I'M GONNA BEAT THE LOVING CRAP OUT OF YOU!**"

_How did it come to this?_

"DO YOU HAVE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST IDEA OF WHAT YOU'RE FIGHTING ABOUT?" Zoro shouted in anger.

Nami shouted at Luffy to calm down. I was just sitting there, un-phased, and sipped my root beer.

"So then, are you a pirate?" The man asked, cocking a smile.

"Yeah, that's right."

"How big's yer bounty?" He asked.

"40 Millon." Luffy stated.

The man's eyes widened.

"Fourty Million. For you? I WOUDN'T BELIEVE IT EVEN IF I COLLECTED IT!"

That got Luffy riled up some more.

"We've rules in this place," the barman interrupted, "and one of them's no fighting. Here's your fifty cherry pies now please, just walk away!"

The giant man glared at Luffy some more. But eventually he picked up his pies, and walked calmly out of the bar.

"What an odd person, but somehow makes me think…"

-CLICK-

_SHITCAKES! THAT WAS BLACKBEARD!_

_TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!_ Michael complained.

_SHUT UP!_

Before I could do anything else, a different man shouted, "I'm looking for a pirate who wears a straw hat!"

The whole bar looked to the entrance and saw the announcer.

He was a tall, tan man with short blond hair that stuck out in every possible direction. He had a pink shirt on and a big officer's coat on. But what really disturbed me was his face.

He had possibly the most insane face I ever saw, that meaning that you could tell he wasn't right in the head just by looking at his face. He had wide, crazy eyes with shrunken pupils, a sadistic toothy grin. And across his forehead Was a huge set of stitches, which could have caused his said mental problems.

He looked like an absolute psycho.

The bar people referred to him as Bellamy.

_I wonder what he wants._ Michael asked.

_Beats me. I barely remember the Jaya arc._

"So you must be Straw Hat Luffy!" He announced. "Worth a cool 40,000,000."

"Who's this guy?" Luffy asked.

"Seems he's got a bone to pick with you Luffy." Zoro told him.

"That must be that Bellamy guy that rented out the hotel we were at earlier." Nami deducted.

"Bad news is all I'm saying. He looks like a psycho." I whispered to him.

He walked through the crowd, and stood next to Luffy.

"How come everyone I meet in this town is so tall?" Was all Luffy could really say.

"Genius." I said.

Bellamy pointed one eye at me. "And you must also be his first mate, Bazooka Bartel!"

It was that crazy look he was giving me that made me sweat.

"Not quite. I'm just the look out." I stated dryly.

"I'll take a glass from the top shelf! And give these two whatever they want!" The guy shouted at the barman.

The guy then asked, "If it's alright with you Bartel, for you to scoot over a seat?" He asked.

I was baffled with this man, but I scooted over one and let him sit between me and Luffy.

_No harm right?_

"LOOK AT THIS PLACE? This place is packed solid!" An oh too familiar and snobbish voice shouted.

It was old _acquaintance_ from the hotel, Sakees or Saquiss or whatever his name was.

He was accompanied by a dozen of his snobbish friends who were so varied that I'm not going to bother describing all of them!

"This place is DISGUSTING!" A whinny sounding girl whined. Just some red head with a tight yellow dress on and big boobs.

_Ok ok, that one was kind of worth mentioning._

"All you can get here is cheap rum." A bigger man said disdainfully. He was just some black guy with a really gay looking white beanie on that had two furry balls attached to the sides.

Saquiss had just gotten through beating the crap out of a few people so they would give up their seats, and the rest of the bar began to move in panic.

He had this big knife that was bent at a 90 degree angle, now covered in blood.

And he was now licking the blood off.

_Classy ain't he?_

The barman gave Luffy and me another drink. He also gave Bellamy one too.

"CHEERS!" Bellamy cheered.

I would also note that he didn't sound like he meant it. That he had something wicked planned.

I didn't take the drink.

"Oh come on Bartel!" He shouted, sounding like that one guy you know.

You know? That one guy you know who's all like _come on maaaaaaan, try it. It'll make you feel greeeeeat._

Yeah. That guy. Mine's name was Kody.

"NO! I don't need another drink!" I complained.

Luffy however, "HEY! Thanks for the drink pal! You know what, you're alright!"

Luffy sipped his drink, and in a flash…

-CRASH-

Bellamy smashed his head into the counter, smashing it in two!

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Zoro drew his sword and set it under his throat. I aimed my bazooka at his head.

Saquiss let out a gush of loud, sadistic laughter.

Bellamy noticed us finally, with weapons drawn, and grinned evilly. "What are you punks doing?"

"That's the question you should be asking yourself." Zoro stated.

"You're gonna pay for doing that you fucking psycho." I threatened.

He looked at me. "Well at least you passed the test Bartel." He said, slightly impressed.

"YOU CALL THAT A TEST YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! I SHOULD TAKE YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!"

"ZORO! SCREAVER!" Nami shouted. "Don't do it! We still need to get some information!"

"SHUT UP NAMI!" I shouted. "THIS GUY AND HIS LITTLE SNOB FRIENDS ARE ASKING FOR AN ASS KICKING!"

Saquiss kept laughing.

"This guy wants a fight I'll give it to him!" Zoro shouted.

Luffy got out of the wrecked counter and wiped his face.

"So this is all you got for back up?" Bellamy asked. "BUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Now, are you ready to take me on or what?" Luffy threatened him.

The bar was jeering the fight on as Luffy raised his fists.

"BUAHAHAHAHAHA!" Bellamy laughed again. "YOU'RE WRONG STRAW HAT! THIS ISN'T A FIGHT, IT'S A TEST! NOW LET'S SEE HOW STRONG YOU ARE!"

"Kick his ass Luffy!" I shouted.

"LUFFY HOLD ON!" Nami shouted.

She turned to the bartender. "Mister! We're trying to get to the Sky Island! Do you know anything about that?"

The instant she said _Sky Island_ the bar became quiet.

_I feel like if I was in Harry Potter 1 world, this is what would happen if we said Volda...Voldi...that-one-guy-who-doesn't-have-a-nose's name._

"Like I was saying," she went on, "if you know how to get to Sky Island…"

-**!-**

The bar was filled with roaring laughter.

Laughter…at the four of us.

We stood there, dumbfounded, at the entire bar who laughed at us intensely.

_I've spent my entire school life getting laughed at and made fun of, I might not be able to take this._

"You ok Screaver?" Luffy asked me quietly.

I was panicking.

_Usually when people laugh at me, I could tell them to shut up. But that was only a few people, this is…an entire room full of people…_

I guess the pain was showing on my face. I was slowly backing up towards the counter.

Nami was turning red with embarrassment.

Bellamy sat down, still laughing. "You got me there kid! I can't believe you're putting such hope into such a REDICULOUS legend!"

He went on how many people tried to get to the Sky Island using something called the Knock Up Stream, which sends ships into the sky. But then they soon just fall back down.

He said how every dream would be proven wrong with a rational explanation.

_That guy using logic! That's a joke! Right Screaver?_ Michael said.

_They're all laughing at me. So many people…_

_SNAP OUT OF IT SCREAVER!_

He then began saying how the new age of pirates had begun. The City of Gold, The Emerald Ruins, even the great One Piece…all fake.

_That guy is seriously asking for a beating! But it's not my place to attack him! Luffy's gonna make the first hit, and then it's bye bye psycho._

"Everytime I see these men who chase their dreams…I GET DISGUSTED!"

-BAM-

He clocked Luffy and knocked him to the ground.

"You're a weak pirate, just like they were." Bellamy sneered.

Luffy's face was emotionless.

The other pirates also began throwing bottles at us, one of them hitting me right in the cheek.

"Luffy, Zoro, Screaver, forget all that pacifist crap I was talking about earlier and take this jerk out!" Nami shouted at us.

_So quick to abandon your rules just so you won't get made fun of Nami?_

Zoro and I looked at her with shame.

"Screaver, Zoro." Luffy said.

With a look of pure seriousness, he gave us the order, "No matter what happens, don't fight back."

-SMACK-

I smacked my forehead. "ARE YOU INSANE? I'm gonna kick these guys asses! Whether if you don't want to Luffy!"

Bellamy was about to grab me, but I gripped his hand and threw it away.

"Bring it you sorry, snobbish, sack of sh…"

"**SCREAVEEEEEEEER!**" He shouted.

My name ringed inside the bar, quieting the laughing bar people.

I remained silent.

"If you fight back Screaver. If you disobey my orders then…then you are out of my crew."


	77. Chapter 77

Good Will Words From an Unlikely Person

The Man who Believes in Dreams

* * *

For almost an hour, I felt nothing but the constant beating of Bellamy's fists. I heard nothing but the sounds of ridiculing laughter from the other pirates. I saw nothing but the sight of my fellow crewmate and my captain being tossed around like rag dolls.

It was…the worst experience I had ever felt in my entire life.

Nami constantly ordered us to fight back, and I honestly didn't know why I didn't.

_I must obey my captain's orders._

The three of us stood there, bloody and beaten, as Bellamy just laughed some more.

The others began shouting and insulting us all for being disgraceful, and weak.

In fact, they joined in on the_ fun_ as well!

I had never been truly beaten up before; I had always held my own in a fight.

But I was forced to not fight back, at the risk of being banished by my captain.

Face humiliation and pain, or fight back and spend a life time away from my friends.

They finally delivered the final blow to us all.

They kicked Zoro into a wall, smashed Luffy's head into a window, and he grabbed my neck and threw me into a table.

_Is…it over?_ Michael asked.

_I can't...smell two days...from Cherry Christmas._

"Luffy! Screaver! Zoro!" Nami shouted and kneeled down to our broken bodies.

"Hey…Sweet thing." I heard Saquiss call.

_What…WHAT?_

"If you keep hanging out with these losers, you're gonna get left behind. Especially when the new era rolls around. What if I bought you?"

_**WHAT?**_

"**_WHAAAAAAAAAT?"_**

My soul wavelength pulsed. My body began steaming with energy.

I was slowly pushing up from the ground, the sudden influx of energy weighting me down.

"Screaver." Luffy said, cutting through my madness.

Nami's face was becoming confused.

Luffy didn't move from the floor, all he said was, "No matter what happens, don't fight back."

_GOD...God damn...ugh..._

I caved in.

I sat down and looked to the floor, my power dropping back to normal.

"Aye, captain."

The other pirates were still laughing and insulting us.

"You four, get out of my sight!" Bellamy ordered. "Before I decide otherwise."

Nami scoffed and grabbed Luffy by the shirt. "Come on Screaver, get Zoro."

I grabbed Zoro and we left the bar.

* * *

My face was emotionless. I felt like crap. Worse than beaten. I felt humiliated.

All of that was due to my captain's will, and I had to abide by it.

"The Sky Island does exist." Someone said.

Nami stopped and dropped Luffy. We turned to see…Blackbeard.

He was sitting in the middle of the street, eating his many cherry pies.

"HAHAHAHAHA! That place sure does made a killer cherry pie!"

_He's the guy Ace's been looking for. The man that will be the bain of Ace's existence._

Nami was angry. "Got something you want to say?"

"Now what do you have to be angry about? You're friends there won that fight without throwing a punch!"

Nami was shocked.

Luffy and Zoro got back up and begun brushing the dirt of their clothes.

The man pointed to me. "I took you a little while, but in the end you were able to silence your anger. It takes a true man to control his power, not letting it control him."

I didn't know what to do. Leave him there? Tell him off? Attack? I just got the tar beaten out of me, so I was in no shape to stop him even if I was going to!

"This _new era _they keep rambling on and on about is a load of crap!"

He raised his bottle of rum high and announced to the world, "THE ERA WHERE PIRATE'S DREAMS OF TREASURE WILL COME TO AN END? YEAH RIGHT! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

People who were passing by were just looking at him with distain and insulting him.

He didn't care.

He slammed his bottle down so hard that the ground thumped.

"**THE DREAMS OF PIRATES…WILL NEVER END!**"

Luffy just stared at him with a blank look.

"AM I RIIIIIIGHT?" The man shouted.

Still Luffy just stared.

"ONE UPPING YOUR PEERS ISN'T EASY! AHAHAHA!"

I have to say, for secretly being an asshole, he did seem like a nice enough guy. And smart too.

"They can laugh at us for all they want. Because when you aim high, you often come across fights that just aren't worth fighting."

"Let's go." Zoro said, and walked off.

"Right." Nami followed.

I was standing behind Luffy.

The man picked up his pies, and concluded with these parting words.

"One more thing, I hope you find your way to Sky Island."

And with that, and another bellow of laughter, he walked down the street cheering that it was a good day for a bottle of rum.

* * *

We walked back to the ship, only to be pestered by a worried Usopp and a crying Chopper.

"LUFFY! ZORO! SCREAVER! What happened?"

"NAMI! OH NO! WHAT HAPPENED?" Sanji shouted.

"Pervert."

"DOCTOR!" Chopper called.

Chopper got us all bandaged up as Luffy explained the situation.

"It was pirates, but we're ok."

I would have complained, I would have made a big stink about it.

But Nami was doing _such _a good job of that, so I decided to keep quiet.

"You guys certainly seem ok about it, but I'M not!"

What she said next could only be described as, "BITCH, BITCH, BITCH, BITCH, BITCH!"

And when Chopper mentioned Sky Island, then she was all like, "_Biiiiiiiiiiitch?_"

Oh, and Robin apparently was in town shopping.

_Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch?_

Oh, and she also found out information on Skypeia.

"WE WENT THROUGH ALL THAT BULLSHIT FOR NOTHING?"

She handed Luffy a map of the island we were on, and a supposed X where a man lived that could help us.

The man's name was Montblonc Cricket as she recalled, a man who believed in dreams.

Also, Chopper had freaked out and jumped overboard when Nami went into her temper tantrum.

But hey, who's paying attention to that?

* * *

We sailed not for an hour before running into a giant, monkey like ship.

It wasn't Mashira, that was for sure, but it was equally as monkey like.

It had a tree for a mast, a wooden monkey figure head, and two floaters on the sides to keep it afloat.

The captain, or at least I was to assume, was even freakier than Mashira.

It was a giant monkey, like Mashira, but it was more like an orangutan. It had a big green coat, a green pirate hat, some weird straps on his chest (kinky?).

"You're face looks funny." Luffy stated. "What species are you?"

His crew were shouting "YOU DON'T KNOW WHO SHOJO IS?" and "GREATEST IN UNDERSEA SEARCH!"

The captain calmed them down and explained how he wanted to become Warlord or some shit like that.

I didn't care.

"In any case, you're clearly not a threat to me, so let's get to know each other personally. I'll start! Did you know I haven't had my hair cut in my entire life? That's over 25 years! You're impressed, and jealous! Admit it!"

"That's lame." Was Luffy's response.

Luffy was being abnormally rude to this guy, to which he got the giant monkey to scream in anger.

It didn't help that he told him we beat up Mashira, who was his brother.

_Naw shit, really?_

The monkey pulled out a microphone.

And it was revealed he had Rapunzal long green hair.

"HAVOC SOOOONNAR!"

It was quite possibly, the worst sound I ever heard in my life.

However, his own ship was being destroyed by it, so we took that as an opening to leave.

"Luffy! We got trouble!" Usopp shouted as he pushed down a breaking board.

Our own boat was getting torn up as well from those sound waves, so we needed to get out quickly.

"PADDLE!"

We circled around from the right of the monkey boat, and left the screeching soloist to his havoc.

* * *

Usopp was getting everybody to fix the boat, grumbling the whole time.

"This boat looks like it's on it's last leg. We should get a new one." Zoro suggested.

Usopp got freaked out, constantly reminding us about how we got the boat.

Luffy reassured him that we would protect it, even though he soon obliterated half of one wall with one hammer.

_Genius._

I was rubbing one of the many bruises I got from that assult.

_Why did Luffy tell us to not fight?_

_You can't figure him out. One minute he's a goofy kid, the next a serious captain._ Michael rationalized.

_It's just...he'd really kick me out if I disobeyed him?_

_Like I said, who knows._ He said.

Well, it was over now. I was pretty sure I would never see that guy ever again.

"WHOOOOOA! AMAZING!"

We reached the shore to see…the biggest and cartoonist palace I've ever seen.

It was like a mansion made out of candy…ok bad example.

It had towers, cannons, big pink dome like roofs, and windows that looked like swirly circles.

"It's really unattractive." Sanji commented.

"Really fake if you ask me." I said.

Luffy leaped on shore and shouted in terror.

We all saw that the apparent mansion was actually a giant flat board. Hiding a much smaller stone house that kind of looked like a tribal gray wedding cake.

Robin mentioned that this Cricket guy was looking for a large amount of gold buried on the island, and Nami immediately ordered Chopper to get to digging.

"Raise your hand if you saw that one."

Zoro and I raised them in sync.

We all disembarked. Luffy had already barged into the house shouting, "ANYONE HERE?"

I was looking around, and came across a book lying on a big stump.

"I found something." I called.

Nami took the book from my hands and inspected the cover.

"This book looks pretty old. It's called Noland the Liar."

Usopp walked over and grinned. "Huh? Sounds like it could be good!"

"You would say that."

"Noland the Liar?" Sanji asked, interested.

"Yeah, you heard of it?" Nami asked. "It says here it was originally published in the North Blue territory."

Sanji grinned. "It was! I was born in the North Blue territory!"

We didn't know that.

"Where I come from, this is a famous story." He explained. "It's supposedly a fairy tale based on the life of Noland from the North Blue a long time ago."

I looked at the cover. It had a small cartoon ship on it, and at the helm was a weird little bald man in a red coat and something like an acorn on his head. He was grinning widely.

Nami read it out loud.

Since I don't feel like telling you word for word, I'll give you the short version.

There was an explorer named Montblonc Noland, who loved to tell people of his adventures. Although, no one knew it they were true.

One day, after returning from another expedition, he informed the king he discovered a city of gold!

The king was obviously intrigued, and wanted said gold for his kingdom.

So he, along with Noland, led 2000 soldiers across the sea to find this treasure, although they did suffer many hardships in order to get there.

Once they got to the island of gold, they however found nothing.

The king, having lost 1900 soldiers for nothing, was very angry, and upon their return sentenced Noland to death.

Before he was killed, Noland's last words were, "I can only assume the city of gold sunk into the sea."

_I think I remember this guy. I think there were a few episodes retelling his life about it._

_Right Screaver. Noland's claims were true, but the city didn't sink. It was sent flying into the sky._ Michael informed me.

_Huh…sucks._

Nami was really playing up the drama of it all, much to Usopp's annoyance.

"Well, if that story was true, it really must have sucked for that guy." Was all I could say.

"WHAT? How can you be so heartless?" Usopp yelled.

"Shut up Usopp. No sense in crying over 400 year-old spilled milk."

-SPLASH-

Luffy fell into the water with a yelp.

"LUFFY!"

I ran over to the shore until someone jumped out of the water.

"Who the hell are you? You've got nerve relaxing at someone's house without permission!"

He was a very broad shouldered man with a tall face, blond hair, purple pants, a wet cigarette in his mouth, and a tattoo that said _maroon_ over his left arm. He also had some sort of chestnut on top of his blond hair.

He raised his hands in defense at me. "This here is my land and I suggest you leave!"

I cracked my neck and shouted, "SANJI! FISH OUT LUFFY!"

He ran past me as I intercepted the new foe.

He swiped his leg at me, but I blocked with my left arm and punched.

"I know why you're here," he mumbled, "you're after my GOLD!"

He chopped at me, but I side-stepped and grabbed his hand.

-CHUCK CHIC-

He pulled out a gun.

"DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!"

-BANG-

I quickly dodged the bullet, it only grazing my hair.

"SCREAVER!" Nami and Chopper shouted.

"I'm ok! He can't shoot for shi…"

-BANG- -BANG- -BANG-

He kept shooting me, but I was able to dodge them.

"HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!"

The man faltered as Zoro ran towards him.

-THUD-

The man fell over, soaking in water and breathing heavily.

"GUUUUUUAH!"

Sanji came back up holding Luffy.

"Hey Chopper! Get over here!"

* * *

We moved the old man into the house.

Chopper was busy treating him and giving us orders.

"I need more towels! And open up those windows!"

Chopper called what he had was Kasan's Disease, which was apparently caused by too much under sea diving and not letting the body decompress properly.

"So it's a Mystery Disease." Luffy concluded.

"A brilliant deduction Luffy." I said sarcastically.

Chopper guessed he had been diving everyday without letting his body rest properly.

"**HEY OLD TIMER! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?**"

Two big ugly faces were crammed in the doorway.

It was Mashira and Shojo, the monkey brothers.

Usopp and Chopper were freaking out.

"What in the world are you doing here?" Shojo shouted.

"And what do you think you're doing to our friend?" Mashira followed up on.

Luffy told them that we were helping, and the two monkeys broke down in tears thanking us.

Luffy took them outside to chat, while the rest of us stayed inside to keep an eye on the old man.

"Has anyone noticed that he has a acorn on his head?" I asked.

"I think we got that much." Nami said.

I picked up the book and looked at the little cartoon Noland on the front, with a similar acorn on his head.

I looked at the book, then the man, then the book, then the man, then the book…

"Well?"

"Well what?" Nami asked curiously.

"Do you think these two could possibly be related in any way, shape or form?"

She looked at the book as well, then the old man, then the book, then the old man…

"Not really." She said.

I hit my head in frustration.

_Typical One Piece._

The old man grumbled, and sat up right in his bed.

"Hey Luffy! The old man is waking up!" Chopper called out.

Luffy came inside.

"HEY CHESTNUT HEAD!" Luffy shouted, "I got a question for ya!"

The old man lit a new cigarette.

"I'm sorry I attacked you." He apologized. "I thought you were nothing more than another group of bandits come to steal my gold."

Nami's money eyes formed as she asked, "Did someone say…"

"No way Nami." I said, calming her down.

"What is it you wanted to ask me?"

"We've been searching for Sky Island and we were told you were the person who knew how to get there!"

The old man, Cricket I remember, eyed Luffy and said, "Are you serious?"

He threw his heads back and laughed. "DON'T TELL ME YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT PLACE EXISTS?"

That got Nami angry again.

I had to restrain her. "He's not laughing at you Nami."

"WHAT?" Luffy shouted. "YOU MEAN THERE REALLY ISN'T A SKY ISLAND? ARE YOU SURE?"

Cricket calmed down and said, "I don't know. Nobody really knows if the Sky Island exists or not. I only know of one man who claims to have seen the island for himself. But he's considered a liar of epic proportions."

Luffy's head craned to Usopp.

"Liar of epic proportions. You wouldn't happen to mean this guy, would you?" I said and I help up the story book.

He looked at the book and nodded.

"That's him alright. Montblonc Noland." He said with a sigh.

"Hang on." Sanji said. "Noland's family name was also Montblonc."

"Are you saying that you're related to the Noland in the story?" Nami asked in surprise.

"A DOOOOOOOOOY?"

-BAM-

"Ow."

"Yes. Noland is my grandfather's grandfather's grandfather. He's a distant ancestor of mine. But we're so far removed I doubt there's even a single drop of blood in my veins."

"But you still inherited the family chestnut." I said, pointing to the Noland's head.

Cricket looked at his head and smirked.

Cricket told us his family had been driven out of the North Blue ever since the events 400 years ago. People still denounced the family name, but they never hated them for doing so.

Cricket told us that Noland was actually a very honest person, and that the fairy tale depicted him as a fool and a liar. Noland was however a very smart guy, and in no way a liar about what he saw.

"I get it!" Usopp said. "You're trying to find the city of gold and finally clear the Montblonc family name!"

The old man looked disgusted and pulled out his gun.

"DON'T BE REDICULOUS!"

-BANG-

He shot a hole right above his head.

"I DON'T CARE IF THE CITY OF GOLD REALLY EXISTS OR NOT! The actions of my ancestor have NOTHING to do with me and my life!"

Cricket seemed offended by what Usopp said.

"YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BEGIN TO IMAGINE WHAT IT'S LIKE! As a kid for everyone to laugh at you and ridicule you for being a descendant of that idiot Noland? THAT'S WHAT I'VE DELT WITH MY WHOLE LIFE!"

He said how many of his family have tried to do as such; seek the city of gold to clear the family name. However, they all disappeared. Cricket resented his family, and instead decided to become a pirate.

For a long time, he sailed with his crew and had great adventures, until they completely by accident discovered Jaya ten years ago.

The very island that was said to have the city of gold, the very place that cause his life so much grief, the very island his family were searching for, he discovered it out of sheer dumb luck.

He called it fate that he discovered the island, and decided to settle the score between Noland and himself. He abandoned his crew and began diving into the sea, searching for the city of gold.

A touching story I'm sure.

"But what about the monkeys?" Luffy asked.

They apparently were just fans of the book.

They set out to find him about five years ago, and he unwillingly became their captain. They have been searching for the city of gold with him ever since.

"What a heart warming story." I said, slightly uninterested as I watched the two monkeys fighting outside.

"Are you just about done telling us your life's story?" Luffy asked, very uninterested.

Usopp shouted at him, and Luffy threw him across the room. "LOOK! All I want to hear about is Sky Island!"

Cricket chuckled. He pulled out a very thick, old looking book.

"What do you have there?" Nami asked. "That isn't Noland's logbook is it?"

He flipped through the pages and told her to read from the bottom of the page upward.

In the book, Nami read about how Noland found several traces of Sky Island through things like boats that sail without wind and interesting sky fish.

This got Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and even Sanji interested in going there as she kept reading.

Cricket walked outside as they were getting even more excited as she kept reading.

_This is really gonna happen huh?_

_You know it is. But I can't but feel bad how when we finally get there, it won't be the fantastic utopia they think it is._ Michael said.

_Must you always ruin the mood?_


	78. Chapter 78

**Hey guys. The first chapter of the movie fanfics will be released today.**

**They will be put under a different story, completely seperate of the main story line, non-canon as it were. All of them will be put under the story titled, Kingman Cinema: One Piece.**

**Well, that's it for now, and please enjoy the longest chapter to date (6000+ words). It's even gonna have three parts to the title!**

**

* * *

**

The Search for the South Bird

Showndown with the Human Pinball

Trek to the Clouds: Onward to Skypiea!

* * *

Cricket called us all outside. We sat around the giant stump like it was a table.

"Listen up and listen good! I've decided to tell you guys everything I know about the Sky Island."

This discussion however took FOREVER!

He went on and on about something like the sky going dark, and the Knock Up Stream, and HOW the Knock Up Stream exists and blah blah blah.

I actually fell asleep while he was talking.

_Ugh, how long has it been since he started talking?_

_About 5 minutes._ Michael said.

_Ah shit._

"Hey Screaver, you awake?"

Nami was shaking my shoulder.

"Huh? What? Is it over?"

"Come on. Sanji made soup for dinner. Didn't want you to sleep through it."

"How kind of you to wake me."

I stood up and followed her inside the hut.

* * *

It was another merry little party.

The monkey bros and Cricket were with us as we chomped down on all the food Sanji made.

Cricket was downing bottle after bottle of rum, cheering for more.

"Eat up everyone!" Sanji cheered.

Mashira was chasing Usopp around for tricking him into eating hot sauce as we all laughed at them.

I was sitting next to Nami when Cricket drunkenly asked, "Heeeeey good loookin. Wanna sit next to me?"

I pushed him away and said, "Watch it old man. I don't care if you are drunk, I will still drop your ass if you touch her."

She smiled at me thankfully for that.

It made me feel warm and bubbly inside.

We were all having a great time…oh yeah, and Robin was sitting in the corner busy reading Noland's logbook.

_Pffffffffft. Nerd._

"The skull's right eye, that's where I saw the gold!" Cricket announced.

We all turned to watch him.

"Those words, smeared with tears, are the last ones written down in Noland's log book. _The skull's right eye, that's where I saw the gold._ That very same day, Noland was executed."

We all were silent as he ranted.

"I still don't know what he meant by that. Does it refer to the name of a city? Or some landmark that use to exist on the island? Or is it some poetic allusion to is own impending death? The blank pages that follow give us no clue."

He lifted his bottle up.

"And that's why we continue to dive to the bottom of the sea. We dream."

"HURRAY FOR US!" Mashira cheered.

"WE'RE GUNNA GO FLYING!" Luffy cheered, stuffing his face fill with fish.

"Not if you keep eating like that we won't!" Usopp shouted.

We laughed at that joke.

* * *

Cricket began reciting Noland's log book on when they first arrived on the island.

He described jungle, birds with strange calls, and the sound of a bell that was unlike anything they ever heard.

Cricket pulled out a bag and took out three small GOLDEN bell like objects.

Nami was all over them, cuddling them like a…whatever girls cuddle.

He called them golden bell shaped ingots that he found while diving on the ocean floor.

Then Mashira revealed a huge, solid gold bird statue.

It looked like one of those tropical birds with the long beaks…you know? The one George of the Jungle had?

These birds were called South Birds however.

"**OH NOOOO!"**

"This is really bad!" Cricket said, freaking out. "You have to get to the south of the island right away!"

He said we needed to catch one of those south birds so we can be able to find our way to the Knock Up Stream.

I realized this, seeing as how any distance in the Grand Line, short or long, can be messed up by the irregular waters. We lost our way when we thought we were going straight once!

Also, the South Bird has an internal compass so strong, that no matter where it is, it will always face south.

"Well that settles it then! We need to find a South Bird!"

Cricket kicked us out the door and threw us three nets.

"You have until morning to get a South Bird or you can forget the whole thing!"

* * *

We ran into the forest, looking for one of those birds.

It was pitch black, and cold. Usopp and Nami were creeped out by the whole place.

"Where are the birds?" Luffy asked.

"You think if I knew, would be still here looking?" Zoro said.

"With your sense of direction, yes." I said.

"Shut up Screaver." He said.

"All the man said was it had a _peculiar_ call. Well, what's peculiar?"

-G_UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAA_-

A strange raspy and breathy yet full sound echoed through the forest.

"**THAT SOUNDED PECULIAR!**"

"We got three nets, so let's split into three groups."

Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji clanked their nets in sync.

Nami and Usopp went with Sanji, Luffy and Chopper had already ran ahead, so I was stuck with Zoro and…ugh…Robin.

Don't ask how…pissed me the hell off.

"Find anything yet?"

"You said that two minutes ago." Zoro said.

We hadn't found any birds, just bugs. Zoro had actually sliced up an oversized centipede a few minutes earlier, much to Robin's annoyance.

"Zoro, you're going the way we came." Robin pointed out to him.

He tensed. "I knew that."

"WHY AM I WITH YOU?"

"Oh shut up Screaver!" He shouted.

"Why don't you stop being so friggin' stupid!"

"If you're _so_ eager to find this damn bird, why don't you go find it yourself?" He shouted.

"FINE! I'll find it better without a direction-retarded idjot like you!"

"You're asking for me to kick your ass aren't ya Screaver!"

"I bet you couldn't even find it if it bit yours!"

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"

"NEITHER CAN YOU WHEN IT COMES TO DIRECTION!"

He threw the net at me.

"YOU FIND THE DAMN BIRD THEN!"

"Now is not the time to be arguing like petty children!" Robin persisted.

"NO ONE ASKED YOU!" Zoro shouted.

"I'm OUTA HERE! GOOD LUCK GETTING LOST!"

I kicked the net away and walked off into the forest.

_You want to talk about the bad day you've been happening?_ Michael said.

_SHUT UP!_

* * *

I had heard the call of that bird several times, but every time was from a different direction.

-REET-

I was knocked over by…a flying pig.

Ity rammed into my back and reeted at me.

"What the…"

-STSTSTSTSTST-

I side stepped and was almost bitten by…a giant spider!

It ran right past me and turned it's ugly head.

I armed my right gun.

"YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG GUY, YA OVERGROWN PIECE OF...SHIT!"

-KABOOM-

I fired my gun, obliterating it with a tree.

-_GUAAAAAAAGUAAAAGUAAAA-_

It sounded like the bird was…laughing at me?

"OH HEEEEEEELL NO!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

I knew that scream!

"NAAAAMI!"

I rushed through several rows of trees, it was so black I couldn't see anything.

-WHACK-

I smacked my face right into a big ass tree.

"_Fmmk mm lmmf."_

_(Fuck my live.)_

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"NAMI!"

* * *

_Seriously; almost getting eaten by sea snakes and giant turtles, almost killed by monsterous giant indians, getting beaten the fuck out of by snobbish pirates, shot at by acorn topped old men, and now running though a dark forest in pitch black darkness being attacked by giant insects and laughed at by birds._

_WORST FUCKING DAY EVER!_

_You know Screaver, whenever you have a really bad day, it's just God's way of saying 'something really good's gonna happen tomorrow!' _Michael encouraged me.

_...Who the fuck told you that load of crap?_

_...I just made it up actually._ He said.

I ran through the forest and finally reached a clearing.

And Nami was there!

And a giant mantis!

Oh, and Usopp was there too.

"KEEEEEEEEP YOUR HAAAAAANDS…"

-BAM-

"..OFF MY…"

I sent it crashing into another tree.

"WOOOM…CREW!"

_Whoo, saved myself._

"SCREAVER!"

I saw Usopp cowering on the ground, and a crying Nami.

She practically jumped on me. "OH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOOOOOU!"

I was ok with her just hugging me.

"Can I get a kiss?"

-BAM-

"QUIT TRYING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION!"

"_Sawy._"

* * *

We caught up with the others as we sat around a clearing.

"To think that eight people couldn't catch one lousy bird." Usopp said in disbelief. "That's pathetic! Can't you get it together?"

"You're one to talk." Sanji sneered.

Nami collapsed. "We've been doing this for hours. I can't run anymore!"

-_GUAAAAAAA_-

We looked to a tree, and on the highest branch was one of those toucan looking birds (I finally remembered the name of the species!)

It had purple feathers, a green belly, and a yellow beak with purple designs on it.

It was laughing at us.

If a bird _could_ laugh.

"_You morons think you can catch us?_" Chopper translated. "_HAH! Good one!_"

Usopp was all ready to take it down until…

-WHOOSH-

Two arms appeared on its wings to rap it up and another one threw it down to us.

We looked at Robin, who had her arms crossed like when she uses her powers.

"I can grab it if I can see it." She said.

_Pfffft...big whoop._

* * *

We had made it back to Cricket's home, but the place was in shambles!

The building had been smashed through, the giant castle board as well, even Cricket and the two monkey brothers were on the ground bloody and beaten! Except Shojo was floating in the water near by, and OUR SHIP WAS SPLIT IN TWO!

I helped Sanji and Chopper move the two brothers to a safer location, while Luffy tried to talk to the old man. Usopp was busy freaking out about the Merry.

The old man was busy apologizing to us and trying to get up to fix our ship!

"Just hold on Pops!" Luffy told him. "Tell us what happened first! Who did this?"

"Calm down, don't worry about it." Cricket said. He sounded like he was in pain. "Did you have any luck finding the…"

He saw Zoro, with the South Bird by the legs. That brought the old man to a smile.

"Luffy!" Nami shouted. "Cricket's gold! It's all gone!"

The old man waved his hand. "That stuff? It's junk, forget it. Your dream is more important."

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?" Usopp shouted to him.

"SHUT UP!" He shouted back.

He was so focused on sending us to the sky that it was really touching.

He got the tar beaten out of him, lost all his gold which was the only proof that his ancestor was not a liar, and he wanted nothing more than to help us.

_Wait…beat the tar…Bellamy…_

"It was that guy." I said with an angry calmness. "Bellamy."

Everyone stopped. Luffy's face was emotionless.

"Look." Zoro said.

He pointed to the wall and showed their sign; a crossed out smiley face.

"That's Bellamy's mark!" Nami gasped.

Luffy put his hat on straight.

"Zoro…Screaver…" He said.

We looked at him.

Luffy's serious face was on.

"If I follow the coast, will that take me back to Mock Town?"

"Yes. I believe it will." Robin confirmed him.

"Luffy don't be stupid!" Nami protested. "We have to set sail in three hours."

"Then we'll get it done in two." I said.

We followed Luffy.

"Hey." Cricket said. "Where are you going? Don't be an idiot! You can't possibly take on this Bellamy guy with only three of you!"

Luffy cracked his knuckles.

"We'll be back by morning guys."

Nami was still frowning, but just shook her head in annoyance.

"You have three hours Luffy." Nami pointed at him. "That's it. If you take any longer, we'll loose our chance to get to Sky Island. And it'll be all your fault!"

Zoro and I shared a look and nodded.

Luffy took off down the coast. We followed.

* * *

For a long time, none of us said anything.

It was Luffy in front, followed by Zoro and me slightly behind.

He hopped over charms, ran over giant roots, and we never slowed the pace.

_We have to get the gold back. That Cricket guy is way too nice for us to let him down._

Luffy was getting angrier and angrier.

He even started shouting Bellamy's name in vengeance.

We were even ambushed by some of those giant mantis again.

-SHING-

-BAM-

Luffy dodged them as Zoro and I dispatched them quickly and they fell into the ocean.

We could see the city glowing near the harbor.

* * *

Luffy leaped onto the tallest building there was, as Zoro and I waited on the bottom.

Luffy inhaled and then shouted loudly, "**BELLAMY! WHERE ARE YOU?**"

A minute later, Bellamy came out of the pub where we first met the creep.

He smiled his psycho smile. "Well speak of the devil! We were just talking about you! You got something to say to me?"

"I DO! Give back Pop's gold! Every bit of it, right now!"

"HAHA! What gold? You mean the junk we got from old man Cricket?"

He crouched down, and the air seemed to be sucked in around him.

His legs seemd to turn into coils.

-BOING-

He was launched into the air, and it was revealed his legs had become springs.

_What a lame-ass super power._

He leaped upward onto the building that Luffy was on.

The other Bellamy pirates came outside to wonder what was happening.

I couldn't tell what the two were talking about, only it made Bellamy laugh…a lot.

-BOOM-

Zoro and I walked out from under the building as the whole roof collapsed.

Bellamy was flying through the air as Luffy was still standing upright, unphased by the collapsing roof he was on.

"SPRING SNIPER!"

Bellamy leaped off another building with fast speed, but before he could even touch Luffy, he jumped off, causing Bellamy to run into the falling roof.

Luffy landed on another roof, as Bellamy gained some more momentum.

-BOOM-

Bellamy swiped at Luffy, but Luffy barely missed, almost falling off the roof.

"What is he doing?" I asked Zoro.

Zoro shrugged. "Let him handle it, we need to make sure those other guys stay out of it."

"COME ON, IS THAT REALLY THE BEST YOU CAN DO?" Bellamy announced.

Luffy pulled himself up.

"YOU'LL NEVER GET BACK THE GOLD AT THIS RATE SHRIMP!"

-BOING-

He launched himself at Luffy twice, one missed as Luffy jumped. The other knocked Luffy into the ground.

"WAY TO POUND HIM INTO THE GROUND BELLAMY! BUAHAHAHAHA!" Saquiss taunted.

The other douche wads followed suit.

Luffy got out of the hole in the ground. He stared at Bellamy, standing on another ridiculously tall building.

"SPRING…HOPPER!"

-BOING- -BOING- -BOING-

Bellamy began bouncing off of many buildings, like some deranged pinball.

Even when flying at that speed, we could still hear him taunting.

"SO YOU WANT THE GOLD BACK HUH? BECAUSE OLD MAN CRICKET'S YOUR FRIEND? WAKE UP! HE'S NOTHING MORE THAN AN DECTREPID OLD FOOL WHO SPENDS HIS TIME CHASING A 400 YEAR OLD LIE!"

I was so ready for Luffy to kick this guy's ass.

"THERE'S NO CITY OF GOLD, NO ISLAND IN THE SKY! JUST OCEANS AND SHIPS, AND THE MEN WHO SAIL THEM!"

Luffy was looking downright murderous.

He held up his right arm and flexed his muscles, making a tight fist.

"You asked if I know how to throw a punch…"

Bellamy spiraled straight towards Luffy and…

-**BOOOOOOM**-

He knocked Bellamy to the ground in ONE PUNCH BEEYOTCH!

Luffy's fist print was dug into Bellamy's unconscious face.

Everyone was awestruck.

Saquiss didn't believe it at first.

"Hey…q-quit messing around Bellamy. Get up…the jokes over."

Saquiss got angry and started shouting, until a piece of paper blew into his face and shut him up.

"And now Cricket's gold." Luffy said. He glared at Saquiss' group and ordered, "**Give it back.**"

Saquiss back up in fear, all the other pirates ran off.

All that was left were Saquiss and his crew.

"EDDY! RIVERS! KILL HIM!"

A blond guy and the black guy with the gay hat looked timid at first.

"I SAID KILL HIM! NO ONE DISRESPECTS OUR CREW!"

In an act of either stupid courage of fear of being hurt by their superior, the blond guy drew a sword while the black guy pulled out a gun.

-SHING-

-BOOM-

Zoro and I knew what to do.

Zoro drew only two swords and slashed the blond guy to ribbons.

I dashed forward and sent a bone shattering punch right in the gun wielder's gut.

"Our captain won fair and square." Zoro said.

"Now we believe it to be wise that you cooperate." I said.

* * *

They finally gave up the gold.

Luffy held it and smiled widely as we left them with their broken crew.

"Hehehe…that wasn't to hard." He said happily.

"_That_ was all he had? What a weakling." Zoro commented.

"They're small time fish. No need to waste brain cells on remembering them." I concluded.

"HEY!" Saquiss shouted.

He was shouting so loudly and filled with so much anger.

Made me want to hit him even more.

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

Luffy stopped.

They stopped.

Luffy turned and flexed his right arm. His hand still had blood on it.

"Where am I going?" He repeated.

He turned his head and pointed to the sky.

"Up there."

"Hey Luffy…" I said.

I whispered him one special request.

He nodded.

I stood right I front of Saquiss, almost 20 meters away.

I armed my bazooka.

"Hey douche bag!"

He fell over like a scared kid.

"THIS IS FOR DISRESPECTING NAMI YA FUCKING SNOB!"

-KABOOM-

* * *

We didn't make it back in time. The sun had already risen before we got there.

It was Luffy who was dragging us down, all that gold he had was weighing him down.

Also, he spent almost thirty minutes trying to catch this one damn beetle!

"LUFFY! FORGET THE BEETLE AND LET'S GO!"

The sun was high in the sky before we finally got to the shore.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEY YOU GUUUUUYS!" He cheered, holding up his new beetle.

"How much you wanna bet Nami's gonna be pissed when she sees why we were late." I said to Zoro.

"She'd still be pissed even if she didn't." He said.

We nodded in agreement.

"HEY LOOK! IT'S A HERCULES! TOOK ME FOREVER TO FIND IT!" Luffy shouted to them.

The other's were extremely pissed.

Zoro and I saw the ship.

_Bawk bawk?_

The Merry was as good as new I guess, but…she was all chickened out!

No no, I mean she looked like a chicken.

She had wings, tail feathers, the red thing on top and bottom of her head, and a neck feather cut out over her cannon.

"Chicken?" I said.

"Introducing…The Merry Go: Flying Addition!" Usopp said.

Luffy was having an "AWESOOOOME" moment. I was happy to see that Mashira and Shojo were ok. Their whole crews were with them as well, cheering at us.

"Still, I don't know, something about it makes me feel uneasy." Nami said.

"I know." Zoro said. "Chickens don't even know how to fly. They should have made it a pigeon."

"WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING? DUMBASS?" Was her response.

I thought it was…well, not badass, but it was cool.

"TIME TO SET SAIL!" Usopp shouted.

We all boarded our new and improved ship, although Luffy took a little extra time to give Cricket his gold back and thank them all for doing this for us.

"SATUYAMA! I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS! GIVE OUR FRIENDS EVERYTHING YOU GOT!"

"LET'S SET SAIL!" Luffy shouted.

"AYE!"

W began to set out for the ocean, with the two monkey brothers as escorts.

"So kid! I guess this is where we part ways!" Cricket shouted to Luffy.

"YEP!" He said back.

Then he said the last thing I ever heard him say.

"Not one person, in the history, EVER disproved the existence of Sky Island! People may say I'm crazy, and laugh at me, but I don't care! I'm a romantic! Like you!"

Luffy nodded.

"SO LONG! Oh yeah…thanks for the gold! And…DON'T GO FALLING OUT OF THE SKY YA HEAR?"

* * *

We sailed for an hour or two.

Luffy was busy screwing around with the South Bird, bending it's head to the side, only for it to snap back forward.

Pretty funny considering it was screwing with us earlier.

I also think that Mashira was trying to say something to us, but I wasn't listening.

"BOSS LOOK! I SEE THE CIUMIUS REGALUS CLOUD!" One of the monkey crewmates announced.

I looked forward and saw a very ominous looking swirl of gray clouds.

"The cloud is a full hour early!" They shouted.

"DISPATCH THE EUTON DIVERS!" Shojo ordered. "FIND ME THOSE CURRENTS!"

Shojo's men dived, and he used his sonar technique.

-_HUUUAAAAAAAHUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG-_

One of the men found a giant whirlpool forming at ten o' clock.

Mashira was certain that was where we needed to be.

The waves were getting higher, almost the size of mountains.

In fact, if I had never gotten use to this ocean before that moment, I was sure I would have passed out from the sheer vastness of it all.

"NAVIGATOR!" Robin shouted. "What does the log pose say?"

Nami checked it. "It's pointing straight at those clouds!"

The sky was lining up like it was ready for a column to be placed right in the center.

_You ready Screaver?_ Michael asked.

_I was born ready!_

-CLANK-

Mahira's ship shot out two claws that gripped onto our ship.

"We'll lead you to the inner edge!" He shouted. "Position yourself on the flow and head straight into the center! Then you'll be fine!"

Nami and Usopp were freaking out.

I was pumped!

"I don't remember signing up for this!" Nami cried.

Chopper's face was lit up, like he just imagined something wonderful.

"THIS IS BAD! I CHANGE MY MIND!" Usopp shouted.

"Too late Usopp! You're here, you're going!" I said, cracking a smile.

"You know who's already excited, so you couldn't go back even if we said yes." Zoro said.

Luffy was having an "AWESOME" moment.

"LET'S GO TO THE SKYYYYYY!" Luffy cheered.

-ROOOOOOOOAR-

A monstrous yellow creature broke to the surface and roared loudly.

We all watched it carefully.

It was being dragged inward, to…

…a giant black vortex in the water.

It was like a huge black hole, sucking everything inward. I could feel my very essence be sucked in towards it as we got even closer.

…Ok, that's bullshit, but you understand what I mean!

Well…maybe you can't, but I do!

"It's time for us to go!" Mashira said, as he released us.

He and his brother had stopped their ships right outside the swirl in the water.

"BYE GUYS!" Luffy shouted. "AND THANKS A LOT FOR EVERYTHING!"

"SEE YA DONKEY KONG!" I had to say.

We drew closer, and closer, the pure feeling of it all would made you pass out.

But not me, I was getting even more pumped up.

It was like that huge ride at the amusement park, the car slowly getting closer to the top.

Only here, you couldn't see how far you would drop (or here, fly) and I wasn't strapped in.

And I think this would beat going on the Texas Giant with _flying_ colors.

"LET'S GO BACK LUFFY!" Usopp cried. "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ALL THAT SKY ISLAND STUFF IS ALL A BUNCH OF MAKE BELIEF?"

"HEY USOPP!" I shouted.

He looked at me.

"YOU'RE SOUNDING A LOT LIKE THAT ASSHOLE BELLAMY! AND I DON'T LIKE THAT!"

I turned to everybody.

"No matter how insane, no matter what the risk, no matter what we lose in the end!"

I lifted up my left arm.

"We'll go through with it! NO MATTER WHAT! Because when we do..."

Luffy finished my sentence. "WE MIGHT DISCOVER THE GREATEST ADVENTURE WE'VE EVER HAD!"

I gave him a hard high five.

"THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN BOUT CAPTAIN!"

"Hey guys!" Zoro interrupted. "It's sucking us in."

We got closer, and closer, until we glided off the edge and headed straight for the black center.

"HOLD ME!" Nami screamed.

"I'LL DO IT!"

-THUD-

When we landed, the whirlpool had disappeared.

"What?" I said.

_Don't get caught off guard Screaver._ Michael warned me. _It's like the Superman at Six Flags. Descending ever so slowly only to shoot you upward._

"What's going on?" Luffy asked.

Nami's eyes grew wide as she looked downward.

"I feel it." She said, trembling with fear. "It's starting. The whirlpool sunk under the surface!"

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" A loud voice bellowed.

We saw a large raft like ship with masts sailing towards us. The sign on the main sail was crossbones with three skulls together.

On the boat were two people I recognized; that crazy apple holding horseman, and the cherry pie loving Blackbeard. The other two were some sort of muscled Mexican wrestler, and a very skinny guy with a gun.

I couldn't see much through my scope.

"WELL WELL WELL!" He shouted. "IF IT ISN'T STRAW HAT LUFFY?"

Nami recognized that guy.

Blackbeard shouted that he had came here to collect on Luffy's 150,000,000 berri bounty.

_WHAT? 150,000,000?_

We couldn't believe it!

But Blackbeard held up three posters.

One hand, had DEAD OR ALIVE: MONKEY D LUFFY, 150,000,000.

On the other hand, he had two posters, on top was Zoro's poster, the bottom was mine.

He had them so both sums of money were showing.

One read DEAD OR ALIVE: RORONOA ZORO, 85,000,000.

And then there was mine, DEAD OR ALIVE: SCREAVER "BAZOOKA BARTEL, 95,000,000.

"HA! I beat Zoro!"

"Shut up! At least my beginning bounty is a lot better than yours was!" He argued.

"WOW! I have 150,000,000! That's a lot! HEHEHEHE!" Luffy cheered.

"IT'S NOT A GOOD THING!" Nami protested.

_This is…peculiar. _Michael said.

_Why? I mean I did blow up the sky, so that clearly accounts for my bounty._

_Yes, but what about Zoro's and Luffy's? Something doesn't fit._

_Well, he is my captain, so maybe they think he's stronger than me?_

_I just don't know. It will take some time for me to draw up a conclusion for this._

Sanji was still pissed off that he didn't get one, and I rubbed it in his face sooooo much.

-RUMBLE-

The water below us was rising slowly.

"Guys…I think it's time."

I ran up to my crows nest, and strapped the tarp down.

"Everyone hold on or get inside!" Sanji shouted.

We all scrambled for a safer position.

I grabbed onto the railing.

Nami was near me.

"Screaver, what are you doing?" She asked.

I was looking over the side, with a big grin on my face.

"Wait for it…"

"HOLD ON!" Usopp shouted.

"Wait for it!"

We were on top a giant mount of water, like a huge hill composed entirely of ocean.

-**BOOOOOOOOOOM-**

It was the loudest and strongest force I had ever felt!

"!"

We were shot upward, and the ship was turned at a 90 degree angle.

I could stand up straight on the wall it was that perfect!

Everyone was freaking out by what was happening, I was too!

Blackbeard was blown away of course.

_Let's hope he drowns._

I looked at what we were sailing on and it was incredible! It was a pillar of bright blue water, flowing straight upward into the clouds!

We were soaring like an airplane!

"THIS IS AAAAWESOOOOME!" Luffy cheered.

"IIIIII CONCUUUUUUUER!" I replied.

I ran up to the top of the mast and sat off the side of the crows nest, and looked upward.

I spread my arms out and felt the wind pushing on me.

"I CAN FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Sanji reported that our ship was getting disconnected from the water as we rose upward.

Then he pointed out the giant sea king from before falling out of the sky, like we would be doing in a few minutes if we didn't do something.

Nami believed since this was just another current of water, we could sail it upward like any other ocean.

"SPREAD THE SAILS RIGHT NOW!" She commanded.

"AYE AYE!"

I grabbed the ropes and leaped forward, bringing the sails down with me.

-WHOOSH-

The ship began rising even more.

"IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING?" Chopper shrieked.

"NAMI! DO SOMETHING! WE'RE GONNA FALL!" Luffy cried.

"TRUST THE NAVIGATOR!" I shouted.

-BOOM-

We disconnected from the water, and we were still flying upward!

The wings must have caught the air, or the sail did as well, or we were blessed by God, or it could have been a lot of things.

But, at that very moment, THE MERRY GO WAS FLYING THROUGH THE MOTHA DUCKIN AIR!

"THE MERRY'S FLYING! SHE'S FLYING! HAHAHA!"

"WE'RE HEADING TO THE SKY!" Luffy cheered.

"GOOD JOB NAMI!" Sanji shouted all Sanji-like.

"If the wind keeps this up, we can sail as high as we want!" Nami reported.

"ARE WE ALMOST TO SKYPIEA?" Luffy asked.

Nami pointed towards the clouds. "If it exists, it's just past those clouds!" She said.

Luffy was gripping on the Merry's goat head.

"JUST ANOTHER AVERAGE DAY FOR AN EVERYDAY DELINQUENT!"

"LET'S CROSS THEM AND FIND OUT!" Luffy ordered.

"AYE AYE CAPTAIN!"


	79. Chapter 79

****

**Hey guys. Spring Break is here! You know what that means? NO work, NO school, and a whole week of freedom.**

**And you know, with all this freedom, I've decided to give you guys something special.**

**I call it: The SSS Marathon! The Screaver Skypean Spring Marathon!**

**From Monday through Friday, I will release back to back chapters of TOPD everyday, roughly around the evening (at least for me) as my appreciation for getting so many reviews. And also a way to make up for releasing late chapters.**

**So once again, thanks guys and let the marathon commence...in two days!**

* * *

Breaking Through the Clouds

Gorrillas, Old People and Angels

I couldn't believe what I was doing.

I was on a flying ship, with the Straw hat pirates, heading to an island everybody claims doesn't exist.

It felt like…a dream.

But I knew it wasn't, seeing as how I remember what they feel like, and it wasn't one of those things.

For a few minutes, I couldn't feel anything but that wonderful bliss.

Then we broke through the clouds.

We few through I don't know how much white fluffy clouds. I felt like I was pushing through water.

-BOOM-

We were once again, floating in the air.

-SNAP-

Our wings had snapped off.

"Well, that's a bummer."

We slammed into a sea of clouds.

I looked out and saw nothing but clouds.

_You sure we didn't die and went to heaven?_

_Who honestly cares at this point?_ Michael asked.

I looked around the deck. Everyone was coughing and choking on water.

I didn't even notice I was soaked in water.

I saw Nami all soaked in water near my feet, her…shirt was all pressing against her body and…her wet hair was all over her face…

"NAMI! OH NO! I'LL HAVE TO DO CPR!"

-BAM-

"I'm just fine." She said, wiping her wet hair out of her face.

I rubbed my cheek.

"My mind was in the right place!"

"How is _your pants_ the right place?" She said.

_OH SNAP!_

"HEY!"

"Just kidding." She smiled.

I forgave her for just smiling.

"HEY GUYS! Look out there!" Luffy said.

They saw the whiteness.

"How are we not sinking?" Nami asked.

"Clouds float, boats float, same thing." Luffy deducted.

"Maybe we all died and went to heaven?" I suggested.

"WHAT?" Chopper cried.

"I'm just joking Chopper! Jeez."

Nami looked at the log pose, and it was still pointing upward.

Robin believed we needed to go up even higher.

I also noticed I felt…woozy.

_It's the altitude._ Michael said. _You're body isn't use to a place where the air is this thin. It'll take a little bit for me to adjust you're air intake._

_Thanks…Engineer Michael?_

"HERE I GO! CLOUD SWIMMING CHAMPION USOOOOOP!"

That sentence explained everything.

Usopp had rolled down his overalls and was ready to go take a dip in the sky.

Never thought I'd ever say that in my time.

And he did just that.

-BWOOSH-

It wasn't a splash per say. It sounded like a…BWOOSH.

Yeah…that.

* * *

He was down there a good ten minutes before we became worried.

"You know," Robin brought up, "it may be possible. But this ocean may not have a bottom."

"CRAP! USOOOOOPP!" Luffy cried and he shot his rubber arm into the whiteness.

"Luffy! Stretch out as far as you can!" Robin ordered as she crossed her arms.

"I am, but I can't see him!" Luffy cried.

"You leave that to me! OJOS FLEUR!"

She had her eyes closed for a little bit.

"There he is!" She shouted. "VEINTE FLEUR!"

Luffy seemed to feel something. Robin nodded. "Now pull him up."

Luffy pulled his arm up as hard as he could and…

-BOOM-

Luffy yanked him up.

As well as a GIANT SQUID!

And a GIANT PURPLE SHARK!

Zoro and Sanji leaped to fight them, but it was kind of weird.

When Zoro sliced the squid, it popped like a balloon. And Sanji's kick sent the shark flying downward easily.

They were breathing heavily and sweating profusely.

Usopp was beginning to spaz out and scream something inaudible.

"Oh come on." Sanji said. "What is it this time?"

"THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY PANTS!" He shouted.

"It's called your penis Usopp, all boys have one." I said quietly.

He threw a fish in my face.

"HEY! JUST TRYING TO MAKE A JOKE!"

I peeled the flat fish off my face.

Because that's what is was...a flat fish.

It was extremely flat, covered in blue scales. And had some sort of balls on the end of his flippers.

Robin picked up the fish and began to examine it.

She started talking about how these creatures evolved in order to live up here or something like that. I is too estoopid tos no wut tat meens.

Luffy snatched it up and handed it to Sanji.

And about two minutes later, Sanji had turned it into a gourmet meal for one.

He was yelled at by Nami for that.

I walked over to Chopper, who was looking for Sky Island through some binoculars.

"See anything Chopper?"

"I see another ship but…BWAAAAAH!" He yelped.

I looked through my scope, and saw another ship, freshly destroyed and sinking.

Also, a small man seemingly running along the clouds with a bazooka.

"GUYS! WE GOT TROUBLE! SOME PSYCHO'S GOING AROUND BLOWING UP SHIPS!"

"What?" Sanji said.

The man got closer.

He was just some Native American looking weirdo with a big mask on.

"What do you want?" Sanji asked.

"TO DESTROY YOU!" Was his kind response.

"Oh is that all." Sanji grumbled.

In a flash he kicked Sanji to the wall.

The same with Zoro!

And Luffy!

But not me!

When he put his foot on me, I was able to move fast enough to grab his foot and slam him into our mast.

"YOU THINK YOU GOOD HUH BITCH!"

He kicked me with his weird skates.

_Skates? Oh...that's how he was able to float on clouds..._

He flew upward and aimed his bazooka at our ship.

"TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME!"

I ran up the mast and bazooka stepped right near him. I stared him right in the eyes as I activated my right bazooka.

I smiled. "MINE'S BIGGER!"

-KABOOM-

He had some sort of orange riot shield to block my attack, but I still sent him away from our ship.

I landed and almost collapsed.

_I feel so weak!_

_It's the air! Your body is starting to coop with it but it will still take time!_ Michael said.

He leaped up again, ready for another attack, but I couldn't move fast enough!

"THAT'S ENOUGH VILLAIN!" A voice shouted.

A shadow knocked the guy out of the sky.

Then it landed on our ship to reveal it was a knight.

A very old looking night and…a giant pink, poka-dotted bird.

"Oh great, who's this guy?" Nami said.

"Miss." He said. "You may call me, the Sky Knight."

"_Pieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea._" His…bird thing said.

The old man looked out to the clouds. "He's gone."

"Who the hell…was that guy?" I said, trying to catch my breath.

"Could you three _be _anymore worthless?" Nami said with distain.

The other three were breathing and sweating like crazy.

Robin said it was because of the thin air, and gave some intelligent reason for that.

"High equals can't fight…-_huff-…_gotcha." I said.

"At least Screaver was able to do something! You other guys were pathetic!" Nami shouted.

_Hehehehe…thank you Michael!_

_Tward Nothing!_

"How could you be able to be use to such an altitude?" Robin asked, raising an eyebrow.

_SHIT! Um…hang on…_

"Well...I lived on an island with really high...mountains, so being at a high altitude was what I was use to. But I never was this high up."

"OH! So that's why you were able to climb the mountain at Dumb Kingdom!" Chopper deducted. "And...why you're so pale?"

...

I thought for a few moments...whether to continue or smack him upside the head.

"Yes. Yes it is."

"Well, as your doctor I do think you should start getting a healthy amount of sun a day." He said.

I grit my teeth.

_Oooooooh...not you're day Screaver._ Michael said.

_Shut...IT!_

"You must be Blue Sea people." The old knight said to us, snapping me back into the main conversation.

He said that's what they called people who lived bellow the clouds.

We asked him about who that guy was.

He however told us several important things.

First, we were in the White Sea, 7000 meters up which is filled with Gorrilas (ex. that guy who attacked us).

We were heading towards the White White Sea, 10,000 meters more up.

He was a soldier for hire, to protect those who were trying to kill us.

He would give us some whistle for 5,000,000 extols.

"What's an extol? And what's this whistle thingy?" Sanji asked.

"What do you mean? You did come through the Summit of High West didn't you?" He asked.

"No, we rode the Knock Up Current." Robin explained.

He couldn't believe there were still people that were brave enough to ride that _monstrous _current.

"IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME! Quit crying Nami!"

-BAM-

"Ow."

He told us it was either we took the other way, and loose one or two people. Or we go to the Knock Up Stream, and go in all or nothing.

He commented us on our _exceptional _navigational skills.

Usopp tried to hog all the glory, but Nami shut him up.

The Sky Knight tossed us a whistle.

"This is the One Whistle, may you use it as you see fit. Should you find yourselves in danger, simply blow it and I will come to your aid!"

He stood on the railing.

"But wait! We still don't know your name!" Nami shouted.

He looked up heroically.

"I am…Ganfall! And this is my partner, Pier."

"_Pieeeeeeeeeeeea._"

The bird began to change shape.

"Long ago, he ate a Horse Horse fruit, and gained its powers. He can turn into the form of a horse with wings!"

"A Pegasus!" Nami said in delight.

He mounted his steed and we saw…ugh.

It was, without a doubt, the dumbest Pegasus I've ever seen.

You know, when I think majestic, I don't think pink with poka-dotts.

"May luck be with you! Brave warriors!" He called, and he flew off.

We were...confused to say the least.

"Despite all he said, he actually didn't tell us much." Robin said.

Luffy wanted to blow the whistle to ask him again, but Nami and Usopp stopped him quickly.

Chopper pointed something out in the distance.

It looked like a giant waterfall of clouds.

"So that settles it then." Zoro said. "We go that way."

* * *

We sailed in silence until we reached a road block. Or sea block or sky block or whatever.

It was a huge clump of clouds, blocking our route.

Luffy tried to punch through it, but it bounced off.

That got Luffy an idea.

-BOING-

He was laughing like a maniac when he discovered he could leap on those clouds like a trampoline.

Usopp and Chopper joined in as well.

"How does this work?" Nami asked.

"Anything can happen in this place." I said.

Nami still saw them as a obstacle, and told Luffy and the others to find a way for them to sail through.

* * *

"A gate?" Nami asked Luffy.

They had reported back saying they found a safe path, that led to a gate right under the waterfall.

"So there's a man made structure in the middle of the clouds?" Sanji asked.

"Cooooooool."

We finally made it through the giant clouds and saw the gate.

I have to say…I was unimpressed.

I was imagining big pearly gates, something heaven like. But it was more like…the gates to see a heaven themed amusement park.

Not to get me wrong, it was huge with golden spikes, and even said _Heaven's Gate_. But still, not the divine thing I thought it was.

"Yep. That's a gate alright." Sanji stated.

I climbed up into my crows nest, and saw that somebody was coming out of the side of the gate.

"You guys! Someone's coming out!"

We pulled up to the enterance of the gates, with the gatekeeper waiting for us.

It was an old woman in a pink dress.

She had wings, and ironically was as ugly as sin.

_Hah, play on words._

She was taking pictures of us through a camera.

_Did she get my good side?_ Michael said.

"Umm…hello!" Nami called out.

"I am Amazon, the Heaven's Gate inspector." She said. "State your business. Sightseeing? Warmongering? Other?"

_A little of everything._

"Umm…I guess it's kind of like sightseeing." Nami stated.

"We want to go to the Sky Islands!" Luffy shouted. "It's just past these clouds right?"

"I think a little of everything would suffice." I said.

She said we had to pay a whopping total of one billion extol per person in order to go in!

"A billion per person, which should total up to nine…I mean eight billion total for us." Robin said.

_OH YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!_

"Um, hey…what if we didn't have the money?" Nami asked.

"You may still pass." The woman said.

"WHAT? SERIOUSLY?" Usopp shouted.

"I certainly won't stop you." She said. "My job orders are not to guard the gate, I am simply only here to ask of your intentions."

"Ok, so how do we get there?" I asked.

-BOOM-

Two giant orange claws shot out of the fluff and grabbed on to the broken wing stubs on our ship.

"The White Sea's famous…Express Lobster." She called.

It hopped out of the water and shot up the waterfall.

As we rose upward, I saw that the waterfall turned into a huge spiral.

_So this ride came with a huge shot upward, followed by a corkscrew? THIS IS THE BEST ROLLER COSTER I'VE EVER BEEN ON!_

Ok ok…I loved roller coasters. I always pestered my parents to take me to Six Flags on the summer to ride the biggest ones. And because I grew up faster than other kids, I rode the bigger ones a lot earlier than the other kids.

This was gonna be good.

Everyone was bumping around and flying.

Nami almost flew overboard and right into Sanji's hands, until I tripped him and intercepted her.

"HEY!" He shouted.

_Heheh…SUCKA!_

"I wonder if this is a normal formation of the clouds?" Nami asked.

"I don't know but…THIS IS AMAAAAAZING!"

We were jerked around until we reached the last leg of the road, which lead to a blinding heavenly light.

"We're ascending into heaven!" Zoro shouted.

"I can see the exit!" Chopper shouted.

"This isn't the exit!" Luffy corrected. "THIS IS THE ENTRANCE!"

-BOOM-

The lobster released us and flung us through the clouds.

What we saw after the light died down was…Heaven.

At least, what Heaven should look like.

It was a green and fertile paradise with sky white mansions, palm trees, castles, and huge pathways to even higher islands of the same beauty.

"WE MADE IT!" Nami cried with delight and she hugged me tightly.

That is, until she saw she was hugging me.

She loosened, but I smiled. "No problem right?"

She was blushing. "Yeah, no problem."

We docked our ship onto a wonderful beach with shimmering sand. Or sand-like clouds.

"It's like the paradise you see in make-belief." I said.

Luffy took a big whiff.

"AAAAH! You can smell the adventure!"

He, along with Usopp, jumped into the shallow cloud water below.

Zoro didn't know what to do about the anchor, but Luffy said who cares.

Nami went inside to _change_. Robin did as well.

"Well, regardless of how the ground may feel, it sure is an amazing sight. Better than I imagined." Zoro said.

"It truly feels like we've ascended into heaven, but are still alive." I said.

"It's a piece of work for sure," Sanji said, "but I think our shipmates are…overreacting."

"Oh let them have their fun." I said.

Sanji took of his shoes and did like three flips before diving into the water laughing just as the other guys.

"OW!"

Nami ran outside, getting packed at by that South Bird we caught.

As it flew off, Nami said she was afraid that it wouldn't survive here.

"Oh don't worry, that bird is tauauaauaa…"

I just saw Nami…in a tiny sky blue bikini.

"Tauauauauauaa…bird be ok." I finished my sentence.

"Hmm? What's wrong Screaver?" She asked, fixing her…strap.

"IuuuuuuuIuuuuIuuuuuuuuooooIOH look! Clouds! I should...jump...in them!"

I leaped of the side and did a big ol' cannonball with a WAHOOO!

Nami quickly followed and we ran off into the water.

"Hey Screaver! Look over here!"

"Huh?"

-SPLASH-

I got a mouth full of clouds.

"Gotcha!" She said.

"Oh yeeeeeeah! Take this!"

-SPLASH-

"HEY!"

"HA!"

I don't know why I did it, but we got into a splash fight.

Maybe because I felt like it, maybe because I like to hear Nami giggle, but hey…I DID IT!

Surely splash fights are the MANLIEST sports for MEN!

It ended when she tricked me into staring at her chest for too long and she knocked me into the water completely.

"I WIN!"

-GURGLE-

She sat on me, which made the whole thing not so bad.

Ok ok…kinda.

"I'll get you next time." I said, pretending to be mad.

"You can't stay mad at me." She said all cutesy, fluttering her eyes.

I broke down in an instant.

"Damn."

"Awe. Cheer up kid." She said, patting my back.

"HEY! I ain't a kid!"

"Of course you're not! You don't stop telling people that."

She grabbed my hand.

"Come oooooon! Let's see what on the beach!"

I nodded drowsily.

_I reeeeeaaaally hope Sanji doesn't see this._

_Who cares at this point?_ Michael repeated.

She stopped at some sort of roofed area with chairs on it.

"What do you think that is?" She asked.

"A nice place to sit down?" I guessed.

Turns out it was.

When I sat down, I sunk perfectly into the cloud chair.

"It feels so soft!" She cheered.

I found myself staring at Nami, only to turn away when she noticed I was looking.

"Sorry." I said sheepishly.

"Don't be so timid. Why is it that when you're around everyone else you're tough, but with me you're softer than these clouds?"

_Ouch._ Michael said.

_Shut up._

"I don't know! You want me to act like a jerk around you?"

"I at least want you to act more forward with me." She said.

_Forward?_

Then an, undescribable sound echoed over us.

It was the sound of a harp (when I said undescribable I mean I couldn't think of a word for it.) A Beautifully strummed harp.

We looked to a mount of clouds and saw someone strumming said harp.

"Oh great! It's another monster!" Usopp groaned.

"Wait!" Sanji said. "That right there…is…an angel."

I couldn't see it because the sun blinded me, but when it dimmed down…he was right.

_"Oh Screaver, you're gonna go off telling how this chick had big boobs and a nice ass all pervy again and blah blah blah"_ SO WHAT?

I mean this girl…this girl…

She was…beautiful.

Nononono…not HOT! Not SEXY! She was just…beautiful.

Her skin was pure white like the clouds she walked upon, blond hair like the golden rays of the sun. Her elegant, wonderful figure was wrapped in a lavish pink dress just as magnificent as she. Her smile was so kind, like she didn't have a drop of hate in her pure body. And turquoise eyes that were as clear as a calm serine pond. And on her back were small but beautiful wings that could carry her to the choirs on high.

THERE! YA HAPPY? I WASN'T OBJECTIFYING WOMEN!

She looked to us and smiled.

"Heso…"

Ah…her voice was like the sound of crystal bells that could break apart a raging storm…

Wait…that doesn't work.

Fuck it. I'm no good at this poetic crap.

"Heso?"

No one knew what that mean.

"Shu." She called out.

"_Shu._"

Some weird lookin' animal ran past us and curled at her feet.

It was some weird white fox with a tube for a mouth.

"Did you come from the Blue Sea world?" She asked with curiosity.

"_Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…_"

"Ehem!"

I saw Nami, who saw me seeing our new angel friend.

I smiled. "What? I said _yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa_."

Nami was pouting and turned away from me.

"Oh come on!"

"If that's what you call it. We sailed up a river of clouds to get here." Luffy told her. "Is this your home?"

"It sure is." She responded. "And I would like to welcome you to Skypiea's Angel Beach."

She took the giant fruit Luffy was trying to eat, and cut it open.

"My name is Conas. And this little one is Shu. She's a cloud fox."

Michael asked, _Am I the only one thinking if this might turn into some sort of thing with Chopper and that fox..._

_YES YOU ARE!_

"If there is anything you need, please let me know."

Sanji stepped forward. "Well, about that. Your eyes are setting my heart on fiAAAAAA!"

That last word was cut off by Nami gripping his ear.

Nami was asking her some questions.

Sanji was rubbing his ear in shame.

"There there Sanji." I said. "It's ok. Find a moment when Nami's not around."

"That's the problem!" He said. "Nami? Robin? Conas? I can't decide!"

-BAM-

"Perv."

"Guys' look." Zoro said. "Something's coming."

_I would have make a joke about that with Sanji, but I think he's suffered enough._

"Heso Conas!"

In the distance was a man, on some sort of jet sky.

I, seeing a jet sky before, was unphased by this.

But my friends, _not_ having seen one before, were very intrigued.

-BAM-

The old man crashed it into a tree.

He was bald, except for a single large bush of hair over his mouth and two antenna like things with balls on the end of them.

Come to think of it, Conas had those things as well.

"How very nice to meet you. My name is Pagaya." The man said.

The man invited us over for dinner.

_How nice of him._

Nami was very interested in the machine he was ridding, a waver he called it.

Nami asked how it worked without wind or a oar.

"Oh that's right." Conas said. "Your people don't know about dials."

"Dials? You mean those shell things?" I asked.

"Yes. You know of them?" She asked.

'Well, I found a pink one on some sort of glove…"

-VROOOOOOM-

Luffy had jumped on the waver and sped off like a maniac into the water.

"WHY WON'T IT STOOOOOOOOP?"

-BOOM-

He was flung into the air.

"I wonder if he'll sink?" Zoro said.

"I think this sea is a lot more buoyant than ours." Sanji said.

"Judging how far he flew, he'll be fine." Zoro concluded.

Luffy sank into the clouds.

Zoro shrugged. "Well, I've been wrong before."


	80. Chapter 80

**Welcome to the night release of SSS Marathon!**

**Yeah...sorry to add it so late. The next one will be earlier.**

* * *

How Things In Skypiea Work

Getting Harrassed by the Douche Patrol

"I apologize for letting him take out the waver unsupervised!" Pagaya said over and over.

He said it takes about ten years for one to learn how to use it, plus you have to know the waves of the sea like "the back of your hand."

"I guess Nami didn't get the memo." I said, casually pointed to the ocean, where Nami was riding around on it like she's been doing it for a long time.

"THIS IS WONDERFUL!" She shouted.

We were all staring at her in amazement, except for me.

_It's just a jet ski, I've ridden one too._

_But it must be different here, seeing as how the water is made out of clouds and the lack of wind._ Michael said.

"That's incredible!" The old man complemented. "This is really her first time?"

"HOW COME SHE CAN DO IT AND I CAN'T?" Luffy complained.

Luffy was pissed.

"NAMI WE WERE INVITED TO DINNER SO GET OFF THAT THING AND STOP BEING SO RUUUUUUDE!"

**-BAM-**

Sanji and I kicked him over the head.

"You're just jealous Luffy." I said.

"Talk about rude!" Sanji said.

She asked if she could stay out and continue to ride the waver, so Pagaya agreed.

* * *

Pagaya showed us up a huge flight of stairs, past some more winged Skypieans.

We passed by a sort of factory where they were cutting up pieces of clouds like they were stones.

"This is our Cloud Quarry Site." He explained. "It's where our clouds are manufactured, and cut up to meet all types of needs."

We were told that the giant cloud rode we went up was called the Milky Road, and was made by said clouds.

Pagaya also explained that there are two types of clouds, sea clouds (what our ship is in at the moment) and island clouds which are what they use to build houses and other things upon.

I think he said something about how they were made from sea prism or something, but I lost him quickly after.

We finally reached a huge pink mansion.

_Whoooooooweee! Mighty fine house._

* * *

We left Pagaya and Sanji in the kitchen.

I would have gone in to help, but the screaming and sound of braking glass was enough to silence my helpful nature.

While we waited, Conas explained to us about the use of dials.

Luffy picked up a gray one, and Conas told him to speak to the hole in the side.

"USOPP SUUUUUUCKS!" He shouted.

"Why do you always pick on me?" Usopp cried.

"Now just press down on the apex of the shell." She told him.

That's the tall part on the spiral.

-CLICK-

"_USOPP SUUUUUUCKS!"_ Luffy's voice said from inside the shell.

"That's a neat trick." Zoro commented.

Conas called that one a Tone Dial.

She then took out another one, purple and slightly bigger.

When she clicked the apex, it blew out a stream of air, like it was a leaf blower. It blew the shell wind chime she had.

She called this one a Breath Dial.

Luffy and Usopp were fascinated by this.

She also told us about the many other dials there were like the Lamp Dial, the Skate Dial, the Flame Dial, Flavor Dial, Vision Dial…

"Hang on, I have one of those!" I said.

Everyone but Robin were surprised.

"I found it in the shipwreck. It had some sort of metal cage attached to it, on a big leather glove. It was pink and round, I have it back on the ship."

"I can't really say what kind of dial it is unless you show me." Conas said.

"I'll bring it later." I promised.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Dinner is served!" Sanji announced. "We have Sky Lobster with special sauce and a side order of fresh fruits that I…can't pronounce."

They had placed all of that food on the main table in the living room.

It looked and smelled really good!

Turns out it was.

"Hey guys." Sanji interrupted our meal. "Does anyone know where Nami is?"

"She was on the waver I remember. Maybe she went out too far?" I guessed.

That got Conas and Pagaya concerned.

"What's the matter?" Luffy asked, stuffing his face full of lobster.

"In the clouds, there's a place called the Upper Yard," Conas explained. "that no one is ever allowed to set foot on. It's only a short travel by waver from here."

"What's so bad that no one is allowed to set foot on it? Is it full of monsters?" Usopp asked.

_Nami's smart enough not to get killed._

"It's sacred ground." Conas explained.

I was eating a big mouthful of lobster when she said this:

"It's the island…where God lives."

-PFFFFFFFFFFT-

"PUAH! –COUGH- -COUGH- BUHAT!"

I choked on my foot.

"What's wrong?" Pagaya asked me.

"WHAT? Are you kidding me?" I shouted, after getting a drink of water.

Everyone else was flabbergasted, to think that _God _actually lives next to this island.

"BULLSHIT!" I shouted again.

"What are you saying Screaver?" Zoro asked.

"I'm saying it's…"

_SHUT IT SCREAVER! DO YOU WANT TO DIE? _Michael shouted.

_BUT OUT!_

_NO SCREAVER! You don't get it! If you say anything bad about this guy, he will obliterate this whole house! You have to be quiet for now! Trust me!_ He pleaded.

I grumbled.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." I said, still grumbling.

Now I know what you're thinking…Screaver, you Christian soldier you, surely you believe in God?

Well…yes and no.

I do believe that there is a higher power, someone who created us, but not like he will intervene in our lives and we must devote hours upon hours of prayer and sacrifice in order to show our gratitude. And he shouldn't reveal himself to us until our final moment before we kick the bucket.

Which means, no one should be able to see him unless they die.

Which means, THIS GUY AIN'T FUCKIN' GOD!

"I'm sure you saw the giant sign outside." Conas said with fear. "This land is owned by the mighty God Eneru."

_God doesn't have a name! HE'S GOD!_

Apparently he can see and hear all, even as we speak.

_OOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWOOOOOOOOOH!_

-Insert a clip of me waving my fingers and dancing-

"God huh?" Zoro shrugged.

Zoro said he sees no proof of God, and he doesn't care to see any.

"I see…a place where we're not allowed to go to huh?" Luffy said, eyes lighting up.

I cracked a smile as Usopp and Chopper were freaking out.

Despite all of Usopp's complaining, all Luffy said was, "Hey noww…HEH…I know we're not suppose to go there…"

"So, by that logic means you _want_ to explore the _forbidden_ land? Huh captain?" I egged him on.

"DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM SCREAVER!" Usopp shouted and grabbed my shirt.

I smiled evilly.

"All I need to say is one phrase and our fate is sealed Usopp, do you know what that phrase is?" I asked him.

"DON'T YOU GO THERE SCREAVER!"

"Oh LUUUUUUFFY!" I shouted, snapping him out of his daze.

He looked at me and I said, "IT COULD BE AN _AAAAAAAWESOME_ ADVENTURE!"

-DING-

Luffy's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "ADVENTURE HUH? WHOOOHOOO!"

Usopp screamed in terror at what I had done.

I was pumped.

"Tell me," Robin asked Conas, "I'm sure there are some dramatic and fatal consequences for breaking one of these laws. What are they?"

"We believe who ever goes there…does not come back alive." Pagaya said in fear.

I hit my forehead when everyone gasped.

"OH FOR NEXT-DOOR-NEIGHBOR'S SAKES! That's what people said about riding the Knock Up Stream, going against Baroque Works, AND going to the Grand Line! We've proven them all WRONG! You have to stop getting spooked by every _supposed _death sentence we're given!"

They seemed to think through about this. Except for Sanji who was calling for Nami, and Luffy who was fueling up for are next big adventure.

By that I mean eating large truck fulls of food.

When Sanji asked Conas how to get to the Upper Yard, she didn't want to _incur the wrath of their mighty God._

"Hey Conas…let me tell you something." I said.

She looked at me, still looking fear full.

I pointed to myself. "You are looking at the man who basically stuck a big ol' middle finger at God AND lived."

She covered her mouth to gasp.

"When did you…" Usopp said.

I pointed to my left arm.

"Oh yeah! When you fired that shot into the sky." He said nostalgically.

"So don't worry 'bout _incurring_ anything, I think we'll be ok. And besides, all I'll lose is another arm! HA!"

_Careful Screaver…you do know Eneru's power right?_ Michael said.

_He has Haki right?_

_Correction. The powers of that lighting fruit AND haki. When you combine that, he can hear electromagnetic frequencies and waves giving him the ability to pick up conversations across the…_

_Dumb it down a bit?_

_He can hear anything that is spoken AND everything that is spoken anywhere! Plus he can make a giant beam of lighting hit anything that pisses him off! SO SHUT IT!_

* * *

We loaded back onto the ship to go to Upper Yard.

Unfortunately, Pagaya said that the wind wasn't strong enough to get us to the place.

"I'M SICK OF WAITING!" Luffy screamed, and ran into the water with a broken waver.

Oh, I forgot to mention, back at the salvaging episode, Luffy found a broken waver.

-SPLASH-

It sunk as soon as he stood on it.

"That idiot." Zoro said.

"Does…anyone want to save him?" Chopper asked.

Zoro, Usopp, Sanji and I all said, "**LET HIM DROWN!**"

When we fished him out, Pagaya said he might be able to fix the waver, seeing how he was a dial ship engineer.

"My father was an engineer!" I told him.

"Oh really? What did he design?" Pagaya asked.

_Book shelves, cabinets…_

"Umm…bombs."

He raised an eyebrow and just went back to work.

We decided to wait, against our better judgment.

Chopper and Usopp were busy making cloud sculptures.

Until Sanji broke them in anger and wryness about Nami.

-STOMP- -STOMP- -STOMP-

I recognized the sound.

"Combat boots. Sound's like the military." I said to Zoro and Robin.

I know that because I used to be in a military school, and I dreaded the sound of the officials clomping down the hallway.

You think Jullian High was my _only_ high school?

A story fro another time...

It was coming from the giant stairway.

A group of uniformed men were walking towards the beach.

Only their uniforms were pretty GAY looking.

Purple shirts, big blue pants with clouds on them, and white berets.

"YOU THERE! ON THE BEACH! DON'T MOVE!"

When they reached the beach, they began crawling on the cloud/sand like they were going through a drill.

I was tempted to step on them and say "Whoops!" but I held it in, against my better judgment.

"**HESO!**" They cheered.

They were making a sort of rock hand sign, you know with the pinky and index finger straight out, but it was behind there heads like some sort of gay bunny rabbit.

I was laughing already. But they didn't notice.

"WELL LOOK WHO WE HAVE HERE!" One of them shouted, probably the commander seeing how he had a CAPE! PFFFFFHAHAHAHAHA!

"YOU MUST BE THE BLUE SEA DWELLERS WHO HAVE ILLEGALLY ENTERED THE SOVERANT LAND OF SKYPIEA!"

_WHAT?_

We were all confused by his claim.

"PREPARE TO HAVE THE WEIGHT OF HEAVEN'S JUDGMENT BROUGHT DOWN UPON YOU!"

_Enough of this judgment shit!_

He pulled out photos of all of us, me included, and said that the woman at the gate took pictures of us with her vision dial.

"I knew it! Taking pictures of strangers is never a good sign!"

Pagaya tried to defend us, but we knew what we did.

"Does this have to do with that _ridiculous_ one billion extol entrance fee? Because we didn't pay her a thing." Robin said rudely.

"Didn't she say we could go on even without paying?" Usopp asked.

"ENOUGH!" The leader shouted. "There is no sense in denying it! Now FESS UP!"

We were afraid we were gonna get into a fight, until he said, "Don't worry, no need to panic just yet! According to Heaven's Judgment, illegal entry is only an 11th degree crime! Once you accept your punishment, which will be minimal, you will become legal tourists on the spot and go about your business!"

_Oh, ok. That seems reasonable…I guess. Depends on the punishment._

"Well you should have told us that sooner." Sanji muttered. "But before we accept, what exactly do you have planned as punishment?"

"A MEAR SLAP ON THE WRIST!"

_WHAT? I mean, yeah he's gonna slap me but…THAT'S NOTHING!_

"All you need to do is pay ten times the entrance fee! Of course if you pay immediately, we'll pretend this little episode never happened."

We now owed him…80 billion extols.

_WHAT THE FUCK? Oh Nami's not gonna like this._

"HOW MUCH IS THAT IN BERRI'S?" Usopp finally asked.

"That's the currency used in the blue sea world right?" He calculated. "With today's economy…"

_We would be screwed if this was our economy._

_SHH!_

"…the exchange rate is 10,000 per berri." He informed us.

Usopp tried to calculated, but Robin finished first.

80 billion extols = 800,000 berri.

Sanji was extremely pissed off from the outrageous fee.

I was ready to beat that stupid soldier over his dumb head!

He issued us our first warning, under the vassals of Eneru or some bullshit like that.

We decided the only option left was…

…ignoring them and going back to try and find Nami.

_PERFECT SENSE TO ME!_

* * *

Usopp was trying to talk some sense into Luffy, and for a while it seemed to work.

Until I said, "You want to miss out on an awesome adventure captain?"

"ADVENTURE!" He cheered.

Usopp was ready to beat me up, but it was over in two seconds.

"New record! Take that! Sea Dugongs!"

Usopp got back up, and quickly got everyone to calm down.

He promised the White Berets (that's their name, gay I know) that we would pay the fine as soon a Nami got back.

He also forced Luffy and everyone else to PROMISE him we wouldn't upset the Berets.

We agreed…mostly.

We then went our separate ways. I looked out to sea, trying to see if Nami was anywhere close.

Luffy had gotten into some BS argument with the commander, but Usopp quickly resolved it.

_I wonder where my gameboy is?_

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

Conas made a loud shriek.

A huge, multicolored fish was about to eat her.

I did not even question why the fish was flying downward towards her with a hook in it's mouth.

I dashed forward and leaped.

"STRONG…"

I tightened my left fist.

"LEFT!"

-**BAM**-

A pretty strong punch if I do say so myself.

The fish fell to the sand/cloud, with a big whelp on it's forehead.

_You know Franky won't like that._ Michael said.

_Who's Franky?_

"What the hell is this thing?" I asked Usopp.

It was just your generic giant yellow/purple/fanged/bumpy fish I guess.

"You're heroes!" Pagaya cheered. "Mere words cannot express how grateful I am for saving my daughter!"

I cracked my left wrist. "Tward nuthin."

They looked at the fish with fear. "We're in trouble." They said.

"Oh don't tell me…"

"WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?" The White Douche-nozzle gang leader said. "This species of skyfish is so rare that it is forbidden to catch it! You incompetence has, once again, earned you a violation of the law! This time it's a ninth degree crime!"

"I'm gonna shove that degree up your fuckin…"

Usopp covered my mouth.

"WHAT? That thing was gonna eat Conas! Screaver saved her life!"

The Beret chuckled evilly.

_HE'S PURPOSELY DOING THIS! THAT FUCKING BASTARD!_

"Wait Screaver, you didn't kill it did ya?" Usopp asked.

"I don't think I did…" I said.

I pet it on the head. It opened it's eyes and moaned.

"Sorry 'bout that. You were gonna eat my friend. No hard feelings right?"

It groaned something. I didn't bother asking Chopper.

I also pulled the hook out of it's lip; only evidence that we were fishing.

"WOOOW! TASTY!"

-BAM-

I used my new Luffy-stopping technique to stop Luffy from biting it.

I picked it up over my head.

"In the water…cloud ya go!"

-WHOOSH-

I sent it flying in the air and into the water with a splash.

"You've just dug your own grave son!" The commander said. "Throwing an endangered species is an 8th degree crime!"

"OH YOU ARE SO FULL OF SHIT IT'S COMING OUT YER EARS!"

-CLINK-

Zoro appeared next to us, sword at the ready,

"You know I've been biting my tongue for the last day listening to all the bullshit crimes you're accusing us of! If you don't cut it out I'm…"

Usopp stopped him, but it was too late.

"You're behavior is clearly hinting towards extortion! CONGRATULATIONS! 7th DEGREE CRIME!"

"MY NAME ISN'T _SON _JACK ASS!"

"He's trying to get us into trouble on purpose!" Chopper shouted. "The only way of not getting in trouble is to do nothing!"

"Do nothing huh?" Usopp thought for a moment. "That's it!'

He bundled a small bit of cloud like a pillow and put his head down.

"OK! NAP TIME!"

_Oh for God's sake! I might just want to get struck down and get it over with._

We all lied down and took a nap.

I opened one eye to see the White Berets, but the commander was red faced.

"How dare they make such a racket on Angel Beach!"

_Oh for fucks sake._

"LISTEN UP! You're all in violation of Skypiea's Noise Pollution statures which are 6th degree crimes!"

-BAM-

I didn't even wait for Luffy to give the order, and I knew he was gonna.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU NO GOOD FUCKING POLICEMAN!"

-BAM-

I planted my fist right in his shnoz, sending him to the ground.

"YEAH! WAY TO GO SCREAVER!" Luffy cheered. "ME NEXT!"

"About damn time. I thought he would have lost it after he called him son." Zoro commented.

He got up in shock, holding his now bleeding nose.

"HEY GUYS! I'M BACK!" Nami shouted.

Usopp shook out of his recent freak out (that being from me punching the cop) and shouted to Nami we needed 8 million berri to pay al the fines we got. Although he added it may be a little more.

-VROOOOOOOOM-

-BAM-

"**YOU'RE RIPPING US OOOOOOOOFF**!"

She plowed the waver into the commander, sending him into the wall 20 feet away.

She stopped right in front of me.

"Whoa! I was so caught up I forgot to hit the breaks." She commented.

I smiled. "It's ok. No need for those things anyways."

She noticed my blood covered hand. She gasped. "Screaver!"

"Not my blood." I said. I pointed to the guy she rammed into. "His."

She smiled. "Oh, that's good."

She returned the waver to a frightened Pagaya and Conas, and told us we should make ourselves scarce.

Conas told us we just committed a 5th degree crime, and are sentenced to the Drifting Clouds.

"The Drifting Clouds?" Luffy asked. "That sounds like fun!"

"It's not!" She said. "It's a death sentence! YOU DIE!"

"**WHAAAAAAAAT?**"


	81. Chapter 81

**...Hello everyone.**

**...I am very sorry for not keeping my word. I promise a chapter a day, and I blew it...**

**I do appologise for forgetting and I promise I won't let it happen again. I was away from my computer the whole day, and just got back this morning.**

**But there's no excuse. I do appologise.**

**Here's the next chapter...better late then ever I guess...**

* * *

Battling the Battalion of Berrets

We Get and Unexpected Visitor

"It's the truth! This is very serious!" Conas was trying to tell us.

"Boy you got him good Nami." Zoro commented.

She said the punishment was that we would be forced on a small cloud and set us a drift in a sea of clouds, with no chance of rescue.

"That's it? Really?" I said.

"Interesting." Robin commented. "That must be how we saw that ship fall from the sky."

She guessed that the ship we saw fall out of the sky must have been one of those ships that were punished.

"**YOU CRIMINALS!**" The White Berets yelled. "Do you have any idea what you all have done?"

"**WHO CARES?**" Sanji and I yelled back.

Nami tried to help the situation, but Pagaya stepped in and suggested the Berets get their captain some medical attention.

They instantly scrambled in order to get their captain on a stretcher.

They crawled away with their captain, with Pagaya leading them.

"Why are they crawling again? Can't they walk like normal people?" Sanji asked.

Conas was looking very frightened.

"You guys saved my life, so I know you're not as bad as they claim you are. So take this chance and get out of here!"

Then she quickly sprinted after the Berets.

"I think we'd better take their advice." Nami agreed. "When I was out on the waver, I saw it for myself. An island full of monsters!"

"EEK!" Usopp shrieked.

I was intrigued. "You mean the big multicolored RAWR monsters, or the people who are so scary they look like monsters?"

"Both!" She yelled.

"You mean the place we were told to never ever set foot on? HEHEHE!" Luffy said giddily, face all lit up.

Nami ordered us to board the ship and leave this place behind, in order to make sure that Conas and Pagaya wouldn't get in trouble just for being near us.

We all headed towards the ship, except for Luffy.

"I'll get him, you all just get ready to set sail." Nami ordered, and she went back for Luffy.

* * *

We all waited on the ship, watching Nami argue with Luffy. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but it was quite obvious that Luffy had no intention of leaving.

"Can't you two argue on the boat? Come on!" Usopp shouted at them.

"Luffy's not a man willin' to back down from a fight Usopp. We should all know this by now." I said.

"Who said we were going to get into a fight?" Sanji asked.

I looked back at him and simply said, "Honestly, what do you think?"

"I think I want to get rid of those berets myself." Zoro said firmly.

We listened to the White Berets march towards the beach.

_Is it me, or did they multiply?_

There were…at least three times the number of berets than what came here in the first place.

_How many are there?_

_At least sixty._ Michael estimated.

"Is it me, or are there more of them?" Usopp said sacredly.

"Big deal." Sanji said.

"Save yourselves! Please go!" Conas implored us.

Her and Pagaya were with the Berets with worried looks on their faces.

Zoro, Sanji, and I stepped off the boat, knowing what was gonna happen.

"Be careful miss." The commando said. "If you say anything to defend these criminals, I will consider you AND your father accomplices. In fact I pulled all five squads of the White Berets to this assignment in order that these people are severely punished."

I tightened my fist. I was glaring harshly at them.

_Who the fuck does that prick think he is?_

The commando had a pad over his nose and a big bruise on the side of his cheek.

"THESE PEOPLE MUST BE PUNISHED TO THE FULL EXTENT OF THE LAW!" He announced to his men.

"This is why I hate Utopias." I whispered.

They think their lives are soooooo special, that whenever someone else comes in, they will do anything to keep their _peace_.

Fuck peace; total peace is boring.

"I FINE THEM GUILTY OF 5TH DEGREE CRIMES! IN THE NAME OF ALL MIGHTY ENERU, YOU ARE BANISHED TO DRIFT TO THE CLOUDS FOR ETERNITY!"

_Let's see if I can make that 1__st__ degree._

"ARREST THEM!" He ordered.

"Nami, you may want to wait at the ship." I said calmly to her.

She rushed back as we all got ready to fight.

A row of Berets pulled out arrows and got ready to fire.

"FIRE THE MILKY ARROWS!"

-FWOOSH-

When they fired at Luffy, huge trails of purple smoke erupted and made a path towards us.

Luffy leaped to dodge, but as one went under him, he actually stood a top the smoky path it made.

"What the hell?"

One went past my ear, and my head seemed to run into really thick cotton.

_Starts out gas and turns into solid. Fascinating!_ Michael commented.

_Not helping Michael!_

Soon there was a jungle of cloud paths surrounding us, each of us on a different one.

"You have any idea what this stuff is?" Zoro asked.

"They fight on it, I fight on it. That's all I need to know." I said.

"I can't get a good foot hold on this stuff." Sanji complained.

"COOOOL!" Luffy said. "Are those cloud skates?"

-WHOOSH-

"WHITE BERETS ATTACK!"

A whole battalion of Berets blew past us, almost knocking us off.

We saw them all eyeing at us, then pulling out knifes.

On their feet, I could see they all had strange skates with dials on the sides of their feet.

"Neat toys, bet you can't back it up!"

"ATTACK!"

They are blasted towards us.

Sanji and Luffy ran forward, while Zoro engaged two in sword to knife combat.

They seemed to split up on us, having about eight or seven people to one of us.

They were moving faster than I could dodge, so I decided to do something else…

-BAM-

…Punching them as soon as they got close to me.

"64 HIT COMBO!"

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

I couldn't see where everyone else was, I was busy not getting shanked.

Every time I would punch one out, another would jump in from the big mass of Berets from the beach.

"ONI GIRI!"

-BOOM-

Several of the cloud paths began to collapse, sending several of the Berets flying off.

"CONGASSE!"

-BOOM-

Another one fell apart.

"WHAT'S WITH HIS ARM?" I heard one of the Berets shout.

"GUM GUM…"

-CLICK-

_Gum Gum Fireworks, an attack that hits everything…_

_I'm in the proximity of everything._

I shouted, "SANJI! ZORO! GET OUT!"

We all leaped out as soon as Luffy finished.

"…FIREWOOOOORKS!"

-**SNAP- -BOOM- -BOOOOOM-**

Luffy had spun in the air and created a _fireworks_ of fists and feet.

"Whoo-whee. Like the fourth of July!"

After Luffy had finished. He landed on the ground, a little dizzy.

"Whooooooo…" He mumbled.

"DON'T GIVE UP BERETS!" The captain ordered.

He and another group of Berets drew their knifes.

"ATTA…"

-FWOOSH-

I appeared right in front of him, bazooka drawn.

"Mega…"

My bazooka charged as his face began to grow a look of terror.

"**BAZOOOOKA!**"

-KABOOM-

A blast from my bazooka sent them all flying.

I cracked my neck and disarmed by bazooka.

"You wanna be corrupt? Fine. Then DON'T BE A POLICE MAN, ASSHOLE!"

-SHINK-

-BOOM-

Zoro and Sanji quickly dispatched a soldier that would have fired an arrow right at my back.

I nodded. "Thank you."

They nodded back.

Zoro turned to the Going Merry. "Nami! How's the money situation coming?"

"50,000 berri left!" Nami shouted.

"Since when have we been so broke?" I asked.

"Normally that would have lasted us a day or two at most!" She stated.

"What's the deal? Why are we so poor?" Luffy shouted in disbelief.

"Because our whole budget goes towards feeding that black hole you call a stomach!" I shouted angrily.

"SORRY CRIMINALS!" That oh so recognizable douche bag yelled from the crashed trees he landed in, "YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF ESCAPE!"

"**SHUT UUUUUP!**" I screamed in anger.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE BEHAVED AND DONE WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO! OF ALL THE UPHOLDERS OF LAW HERE IN SKYPIEA, WE WHITE BERRETS ARE THE MOST LENIENT! HOWEVER, _THEY_ ARE NOT NEARLY AS FORGIVING!"

_I don't give a fuck who THEY are. They mess with me, they loose a few teeth!_

He gave an evil laugh. "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE NOW CONSIDERED 2ND DEGREE CRIMINALS! YOU CAN TRY TO CRY FOR MERCY! HAHAHAHA! BUT YOU WILL ALL BE JUDGED!"

He made a dramatic, Phoenix Wright point at us and shouted, "**BY THE PRIESTS OF UPPER YARD!**"

-CHACHIC-

-KABOOM-

"MAKE THAT 1ST DEGREE BEEYOTCH!"

I fired a bazooka shot towards his direction.

Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji looked at me strangly.

"What? You all were thinking of it too!" I justified.

"True." Sanji agreed.

"Yep." Zoro said.

"I wanted to punch his big fat head!" Luffy complained.

"Save it for the…"

I paused for dramatic effect, and mocked the officer's poss.

"_PRIESTS OF UPPER YAAAARD!"_

We all laughed at my shenanigans.

"Seriously, what's wrong with those guys?" Luffy pouted.

The rest of the crew joined us on the beach.

"Forget about them! That old lady ratted us out!" Nami shouted in anger and disbelief.

"Never trust a stranger taking pictures of you. It either for criminal representation, or for pedophilia. Either way, bad news." I deducted.

_Hey Michael, how many priests are there again?_

_Umm…I think four, as far as the anime had. You never know, anomalies could still be here._

_Oh please, I think I could deal with an extra priest or something like that._

"I don't see the big deal in this." Luffy said to us. "I'm surprised you aren't use to this. I've been meaning to ask, why'd ya come back Nami?"

_Oh, it seems I missed some things while I was thinking, oh well._

"We were finally gonna set sail on an amazing adventure until you…I mean we were about to go look for you! We were getting worried!"

Luffy was looking worried as Nami started to get angry.

-BAM-

Nami whacked him in the face.

"FORGET ABOUT YOUR BIG ADVENTURE!" She ordered him.

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

She kept whacking him and warning him and telling him of all the crazy monsters she saw on that island.

Luffy was arguing back, rather stupidly.

I couldn't follow a word of it, something about her list of priorities being life first then money.

Then Sanji got hit when he tried to be on that list.

Usopp asked Conas if there was a safe way back to the Blue Sea.

"There is a way." She said. "But at this juncture I'm afraid it's no longer safe. You only way to escape is to make your way to Cloud End and then you can travel home."

She said to get there we simply sail east until we find it, then we'll know what to do.

"But…I don't wanna go home!" Luffy whined.

"Listen to me!" Nami ordered. "I don't want you to cause any more trouble for Conas and her dad."

He reluctantly agreed, and we were all set on leaving before…

"HEY OLD MAN!" Luffy shouted back. "Can we take some of those leftovers from earlier?"

The old man agreed.

* * *

Luffy, Usopp, and Sanji went back so they could gather food, mechanical parts and…whatever Sanji wanted to get.

Fuck it, I don't even care if he did anything to Conas. Not my deal.

"DOESN'T HE GET IT?" Nami shouted at us.

Zoro frowned. "Don't take it out on us. You know how he gets."

We were getting everything ready on the ship.

Nami was on a rampage, pouting and shouting how Luffy was so stupid, and Zoro was a jerk.

"Robin! Let's go beat some sense into Luffy!" She asked.

"Won't work." Robin shrugged.

Nami grit her teeth, then saw me.

She smiled.

"_Screeeeeeaveeer_." She said all cutesy. "Will you _please_ beat the crap out of Luffy until he comes back here?"

I gulped.

"Well, he's made of rubber! Even I can't hurt him."

She stepped closer. "I know you can Screaver." She said, raising an eyebrow.

-GULP-

"Well…the think is…um…he's my captain and…he'll be back in a little while."

"And _then_ can you beat him into agreement?" She said, leaning closer to me.

-SIGH-

"Yes Nami." I said in agreement and annoyance.

She was pleased with that answer.

I climbed up the mast and started to prep the sails.

_Hey, Screaver, you mind if I point something out?_ Michael asked.

_What is it?_

_Well, Conas said we have to sail to Cloud End, right?_

_Yeah, that's what she said._

…_Look around Screaver. _He said.

I looked around. Nothing but cloud and the island.

_Yeah, what about it?_

_Screaver…there's no wind._ He blatantly pointed out.

-CLICK-

I felt the air. It was calm, no wind at all.

_Yeah, there is no wind. How could we sail if we have no wind? And why would she say that if she knew that?_ He pointed out.

_Maybe she forgot._

_We're Blue Sea dwellers, she knows we have no dials to propel our ship!_

_Maybe they'll give us some._

_We would have gotten on the boat already and sailed off if it hadn't been for Luffy staying behind! Think Screaver! THINK!_

What happened in the anime?

"Excuse me."

It was Conas, on the side of our ship.

Robin dropped the ladder, and she came aboard.

She told us of a cloud current that could take us to the White Sea.

She also offered to guide us to the current and lead us all the way through.

Nami jumped at the chance to trick Luffy into traveling on it.

"Thank you so much Conas!" Nami said.

Conas had been rather emotionless as she spoke to us, but after Nami thanked her, Conas smiled timidly and nodded.

I also noticed a bead of sweat roll down her face.

_Something's fishy._

* * *

After Conas left, Nami told Chopper to raise the anchor.

After he did so, Nami began cheering again.

"Finally! A light at the end of the tunnel!" She cheered.

Robin was skeptical; pointing out that if what Conas said was true there would be more stories of people successfully making back from Skypiea.

Nami said it would be fine as she pulled on a T-shirt.

"Hey guys…there's no wind." I said to them.

They stopped. "What?"

I pointed up. "There's no wind…how do we sail off?"

They blinked as if they just thought of this.

"Yeah…you're right. How do we sail off?" Chopper asked.

-BOOM-

Something exploded under the ship, shaking us violently.

"What was that?"

-BOOM-

I felt something cling onto the ship.

The ship began rocking. And soon it was being pulled backwards.

"I think we've already been caught in the current." Chopper said.

"Something tells me we've been had!" I shouted.

I looked over the side. A huge shadow was underneath the cloud/water.

"I think we're being dragged away!" Nami shouted.

The shadow was humongous. It looked like some sort of fish.

-BOOM- -SPLASH-

It surfaced, revealing it to be a humongous, rust colored lobster.

"IT'S A KIDNAPPING CRUSTATION!"

"Guys! We're being high jacked!" Zoro shouted. "We have to abandon ship!"

"We can't abandon the ship or we'll never be able to get back home!" Chopper shrieked as he gripped the railing.

"I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'M BEAT BY A GIANT LOBSTER!" I shouted with anger and leaped onto it's forehead.

It had the word GOD tattooed on his forehead.

"FUCKIN' JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES! 64 HIT COMBO!"

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

I began punching as hard and as fast as I could. It was like punching stone, but I was able to made a few cracks.

"Get back on board Screaver! We can't jump ship now!" Robin warned me.

I turned for just a second, and then…

-WHIP-

One of it's whiskers whipped me, making me loose my footing.

"SCREAVER!" Nami shrieked.

The lobster's black and yellow eyes seemed to say _GOTCHA BITCH!_ as I fell overboard and into the cloud/water.

-SPLASH-

"NAMI! ZORO! CHOPPER!"

_And Robin?_ Michael asked.

_Meh._

The lobster sped faster as it carried away my crew and my ship.

They screamed and shouted at be until they were pulled out of view.

"NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIII!"

I was alone, in the middle of the ocean/sky, no boat and possibly a mile from any land.

-SPLASH-

I heard splashing coming from behind me.

I spun myself around to see a…giant school of sky fish with big sharp teeth leaping towards me.

-SIGH-

"Just another Tuesday."


	82. Chapter 82

Journey to Upper Yard

The Path Has Been Split Ahead

Well, I was stranded in the middle of the ocean/sky, my crew and ship were stolen, and I was about to be eaten by dozens of carnivorous sky fish.

Life sucks sometimes, ya know?

They were leaping like flying fish. Big…purple…sharp tooth flying fish.

I tried to swim away but I knew it was all in vain. They could see me, and I couldn't fight in the water.

I thought once they got to me, I could grip on one of them and then I could start fighting, but my hopes weren't that high.

Or maybe I could do the same thing I did with that fishman and blow air in their gills.

But again, I didn't hold out much hope.

_Michael, in case we don't make it out of this, I want you to know…_

-WHOOSH-

I was hit by something big and scaly, pushed down into the cloud.

I instinctively gripped on to something for dear life, unable to see through the murky cloud water.

I was gripping onto some spiny thing, probably one of those fishes.

-SPLASH-

It leaped out of the water and revealed it to be a big yellow and purple sky fish.

It looked familiar

It also had a big whelp on it's forehead.

"Are you trying to kill me too?"

It growled at me and kept swimming away from the sky sharks.

Then I finally reconized it. It was that same fish that would have eaten Conas AND been eaten by Luffy back on the beach.

"Nice to know I got friends in these waters!"

I turned around and armed my bazooka.

"Scope: Lock on!"

In my line of sight, a target symbol began moving around; locking onto every shark I could see.

"FIRE!"

-KABOOM- -KABOOM- -KABOOM- -KABOOM-

I fired as many shots as I could, they spiraled and swerved in adjustment to their targets.

**-BOOM-**

The sharks were engulfed in white, either smoke of cloud.

"YEEEEHAAAAH!"

"**UUUURP!**" The yellow sky fish gurgled.

"I'll take that as a YEEEEEHAAAAH!"

* * *

I pointed out the beach where the ship was originally docked at.

After leaping off the fish, I turned to face it.

"I guess this makes us square right?"

"**URP.**"

I had no idea what it meant, but I nodded.

It was staring intently at me, with big red lips and fangs pointing out.

I pet it on the head.

"I'll call you…Goldy. Is that ok?"

It frowned.

"Minnow?"

Still frown.

"How 'bout I call you…Richard. How's that?"

It shook it's head.

"FUCK! I don't know about names! I named a toy poodle Balto for Christ sakes!"

It cocked it's head to the side...if a fish could do that.

I thought for a moment.

"How bout I call you…Damien! There! That's your name! Damien!"

It widened it's eyes, and then sighed.

_You call it your middle name?_ Michael asked.

_Yeah…so?_

…_Nothing Screaver._

"I must say. Now I know why you're on the endangered species list. You're one smart fish!"

Damien put on a brooding face and nodded.

I started to wring out my clothes.

"Well, thanks for all your help Damien. I'll be sure to call if I need a swim again."

The fish cocked it's head to the side.

Don't know how, but it did.

"It's a figure of speech."

The fish grunted and dived back into the sea/sky.

I had to get to Luffy and the others, tell them that we were kidnapped by a big lobster...in case he didn't already know.

With the way he eats, he wouldn't have noticed if the whole island fell out of the stinkin' sky.

"You…you survived?" A bewildered voice said from behind me.

I turned and saw…ugh…five white berets with their knifes drawn.

They had scared looks on their faces, but then they darted towards me.

"FOR THE ALLMIGHTY ENERU!"

-BAM- -BAM-

They were all taken down in a heart beat.

I grabbed one from the ground by the shirt.

"Now tell me, where was that ship taken? TELL ME!"

He began to cry, snot ran down his face.

"I can't! Please! I have a wife and child! Don't let me face punishment!"

-CLICK-

It all came to me.

**Conas** summoned the lobster. The whole sky island, it's inhabitants, they have to obey the will of Eneru.

If anyone does something he doesn't like, he'll just obliterate them! Conas is just the same, and…

Oh shit! She's in danger!

So's Luffy! And Usopp and Sanji!

I dropped the beret and hit the ground running.

* * *

Making a mad dash up the giant stairs, I reached a town.

It had colorful floating buildings and was filled with people, staring at me with fear.

But I had no time to go sightseeing; I had to reach the others before…

The sky began to grow dark.

"SHIT! NO TIME!"

I leaped on buildings as the sky began to form a ball of bright blue light.

"NO NO NO!"

I ran faster, and faster, my legs were burning with fatigue but I didn't care.

I was getting light headed, loosing all other thoughts from my head other than FIND OTHERS!

A great big ball of blue light was finally in the sky.

"FIND OTHERS!"

If I let that big ball of energy kill my friends, then I will have failed as a crew member.

I failed to save on half of my crew; I didn't want to fail again.

-WOOSH-

The ball of light became a pillar of energy, aimed towards a few certain people.

It was Luffy, caring Conas.

"LUUUUUFFY!"

-WHOOSH-

-BOOM-

The pillar of light obliterated the ground, causing everything to be swallowed in smoke.

I leaped downward, searching through the smoke.

-BAM-

I ran into Usopp.

"OW! Screaver! You're back! How did you escape the lobster?" He said.

"Fell overboard." I concluded.

"CONAAAS!" Sanji screamed in terror.

"Huh." One of the town's folk said. "That's what happens when you defy the almighty Eneru."

_FUCK ENERU! Wait, he can't read my thoughts can he?_

_No._ Michael said.

_FUCK ENERU!_

"DO NOT FEAR!" And old familiar voice said. "THEY ARE ALL SAFE!"

The voice came from up in the sky...sky.

It was the Sky Knight, upon his gay looking Pegasus Pier.

Luffy and Conas were aboard as well.

"Oh, the weird old man!" Usopp said.

"Me? Weird?" He questioned. "No, I am the Sky Knight friend! And this one's on the house!"

He threw Luffy towards us.

No one caught him.

-BOING-

"OW!"

Gan Fall said he would keep Conas safe.

"Now that you have seen the scope of Eneru's power, and anger, what are you going to do next?" He asked us.

"The same thing we were going to do from the start!" Luffy told him. "Go to Upper Yard and rescue our friends!"

"I see." The old knight said. "MAY LUCK BE WITH YOU!"

And with that, they flew off into the sky/sky.

* * *

Sanji filled me in on what we were doing.

Going up a path, ridding this ship called the Crow (a small black waver big enough to carry three) such and such.

It was a circular boat, with a crow figure head, and a giant red stripped parasol.

"Ok guys hop in!" Usopp said, not getting in. "Get comfy, I'll give you a good shove off."

"Get your sorry ass in here!" I said, yanking his over-alls.

"IHIHIHIHIHIHIHI DON'T WAAAANNAAAA!"

Luffy pushed the gas peddle and the waver roared with power.

"ALRIGHT UPPER YARD! HERE WE COME!" Luffy cheered.

We had a decent amount of supplies pack up in the boat, but it was a tight fit.

_Hold on Nami, we're coming to get you guys back._

We sped through a giant gate with a 2 on it.

"IMA COMING NAMI!" I shouted.

"NO! I'm going to save her!" Sanji complained.

"GET IN LINE SANJI!" I shouted back.

I decided to let it go. Fucking perv.

I was sitting along the side, Sanji was on the other, Luffy at the helm, and Usopp cowering in the back.

"I really hope Conas is alright." Usopp said with worry. "You know she's going to have hell to pay when the White Berets catch up with her, and it's our own stupid fault. She'd be ok if she hadn't helped us. And I'm not sure she can trust that sky knight. He pretty much gives me the creeps."

"He's kind of old and weird, but he doesn't seem like that bad of a guy." Luffy said, driving the ship.

"I wanna protect her, but we can't just bring her along with us." Sanji said.

"I think these priests are the ones we really need to worry 'bout." I said.

"MAN this piece of junk is slow!" Luffy complained.

We went down a waterfall of cloud and went to another path of cloud.

Ahead of us, we saw a HUUUUUUUGE forest.

Seriously, the area it took up was large but the trees were like impossible high. Like you could store several houses inside of the trunks it was that big.

"Uh guys! Where did that huge forest come from?" Usopp said, freaked out.

"Is that the Upper Yard?" Sanji said in wonder.

Usopp said that the map didn't match up, but Sanji said it could have been hundreds of years old.

"All I know is, I gotta climb one of those trees!" Luffy said.

At the entrance to the forest, were two rows of strange statues and two tribal torches with spears crossed over them.

The statues were creeping me out.

"Well Usopp, if there was ever a time to chicken out, now's the time." Sanji told him.

Usopp began to say. "Well now that you mention it, I was planning on…"

"TOO LATE!" Luffy laughed.

"THEN WHY DID YOU ASK ME?" He yelled in anger.

"**BRAAAAAAAAACK!**" A bird cawed.

Usopp was freaking out.

The fact that we passed by a whole graveyard of ships didn't help his paranoia.

The ships were all sliced in half…

-RUSTLE-

I heard something.

"PADDLE!" Usopp yelled.

Sanji and I took two paddles and began paddling.

-WHOOSH-

A humongous axe with a big ugly face on it swung out of the trees, almost slicing us in half.

"PADDLE LIKE CRAAAAZY!" Luffy ordered.

"AYE AYE CAPTAIN!"

We paddled through a whole gauntlet full of giant face axes, each one barely missing us.

"This isn't working! Usopp, take the wheel!" Luffy shouted and leaped onto the breath dial engines.

He stretched his arms back.

"GUM GUM…BAZOOOOKA!"

He used his attack on the water, propelling us above the axes.

We skit back onto the cloud path, more rumbling happened in the forest.

-WHOOSH-

Oh great! Giant wooden spears were being launched towards us.

Sanji was blocking them from hitting our ship as best as he could, while I was returning fire.

-WHOOSH-

Luffy spun around, coiling his body.

He then grabbed two spears.

"GUM GUM…PINWHEEL!"

He spun around so fast, he knocked all the spears away and we were able to sail past them.

-WHOOSH-

A giant spinning sharp disk whizzed past us.

"It missed us!" Usopp cheered.

"Guess again!" Sanji said.

It immediately changed direction and make a second pass.

"MEGA…"

I charged my bazooka.

"…BAZOOOKA!"

-KABOOM-

I shot it, knocking off of it's spin and sending it into the water.

"We're gonna die in this place!" Usopp said in terror.

"**GUAAAAAH!**"

A giant worm like monster was in front of us, about to eat our ship.

-BAM-

Sanji kicked it under the mouth, sending it flying over us.

Usopp was loosing it! Screaming like a psychotic maniac.

"It looked like a Lamprey. In the sky…Sky Lamprey?"

".EVER!" Luffy cheered.

"NEATEST FOREST MY BUT! IF THIS IS OUR ORDEAL THEN I QUIT!" Usopp shouted in anger.

* * *

We putted down the cloud path for a good half an hour before I started saying, "Are we there yet?"

Everyone else was having a debate on whether this Eneru guys was an all powerful God or not, but all they could agree on was that he was bad news.

Oh, and another giant lamprey almost ate us, but that was nothing.

The ride was, surprisingly, quite calm after the several traps and monsters.

Just sailing down the cloud river, with my friends, in a rinky dink ship, on our way to rescue our friends from a army of maniac priests and their crazy fucked up God.

Felt…kinda nice. You know, despite that last bit.

We finally reached a giant stone statue, with seven smaller passage ways underneath.

Each one had an ordeal of somekind.

They were as the following:

Ordeal of Swamp.

Ordeal of Iron.

Ordeal of Pinwheels.

Ordeal of String.

Ordeal of Mirrors.

Ordeal of Lights.

Ordeal of Spheres.

_Hey Michael. Doesn't each of these passage ways represent a different priest?_

_That's correct._ He said.

…_There's seven…not four._

_Yep._ He said.

…_Seven. Seven priests._

_Sure looks that way._ He said.

…

…_We're doomed._

…_Seems like it._ He agreed like some ass kissing yes-man.

Well, there were seven, seven choices to go through.

"HAHA! You think we get to take our pick?" Luffy asked excitedly.

"Is it me, or do none of these things really sound much like ordeals?" Sanji asked.

_Which one did they go through in the anime?_

_I suspect no matter which one we go through, we'll still have a big challenge to get through._ Michael said.

_They went through the ball gate right?_

_Yeah, I think. There was some fat hippy guy with cloud balls that could…do stuff or something like that. Also Screaver, no matter which one you go through, ALL the priests have Mantra, or haki just like Hendrick did._

_So…they'll all be in a pain in the ass._ Was all I could take from that.

_Pretty much._

-BOOM BOOM-

Something loud echoed over us.

"Prepare…to be judged criminals." A dark voice boomed.

-BOOM BOOM-

The same sound echoed.

"For you have no choice but to receive it! YAHA!" A flamboyant and excited voice cried out.

-BOOM BOOM-

"Select a gate from seven ordeals." An evil sounding voice said.

-BOOM BOOM-

"Then your fate is in our hands." A woman's voice said with glee. But it sounded like their were two woman's voices talking in perfect sync.

_A woman priest? Wouldn't she be a nun? Or priestess?_

-BOOM BOOM-

"For you their can be no turning back." A high pitched whisper echoed (also kinda sounded obese in my opinion.)

-BOOM BOOM-

"Because once you decide, you're path back will be forever cut!" A child like voice cheered.

-BOOM BOOM-

"You may choose your own trial, but we will decide your fate." A gruff voice concluded.

"Swamp."

"Iron."

"Pinwheel!"

"String."

"Mirrors!"

"Lights."

"Spheres."

"**CHOOSE YOUR PATH, CRIMINALS!"**


	83. Chapter 83

We Continue on the Path

Encountering the First Priest

"So what do we do?" Usopp asked, seeming on edge.

"I think lights seem like the safest." I suggested.

"Let's go with, spheres!" Luffy shouted.

"Why spheres?" The rest of us asked.

"Spheres are like balls right? Sounds like fun!" Luffy deducted.

-forehead smack-

By the look of Usopp's face, he was imagining what each ordeal would turn out to be, in the worst case scenario.

And he was all like, "Nope! Not that one." Then, "UGH! No thank you!"

And all the while we were drifting closer to the split off.

_Well, if something ain't broke, why try and fix it?_

-WHACK-

I smacked the steering wheel and sent the boat all the way to the right, towards the Ordeal of Spheres.

"WHA'JA DO THAT FOR?" Usopp screamed.

"Captain's orders." I stated.

The boat was right at the archway to the Ordeal of Spheres.

"Ok. I guess we'll have to trust Luffy's instincts." Usopp said.

* * *

We sailed into the Gate, which turned out to be a tunnel.

"Driver," Sanji said all snooty, "would you mind not shutting your eyes?"

"It's just as dark with them open!" Usopp whined.

"So, and ordeal of balls huh? Sounds like a hoot, right Luffy?" I asked.

"I don't know what that means, but this is gonna be fun!" Luffy cheered.

We sailed in darkness for several minutes.

"Hey guys!" Luffy said. "What if this is like one of those games?"

We asked him, how so?

"You know! Like if you pick the right door, then you get a prize!" He explained. "But if you pick the wrong one…"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Usopp shouted in anger. "WHAT IF WE PICKED WRONG? WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE MENTIONED THIS BEFORE LUFFY?"

"We'll let's see here." Luffy thought. "Um…well if you pick the wrong door…"

Luffy smiled. "Then you fall off the island!"

That sent Usopp in a fury of fear.

"Relax Usopp, I doubt falling off the island has anything to do with balls. Relax!" I told him.

"I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES YOUR LIFE CAN FLASH BEFORE YOUR EYES DURING A FALL LIKE THAT, BUT I DON'T WANNA KNOW!" He shouted some more.

"You guys are being idiots." Sanji said.

A light formed at the end of the tunnel, and was coming up fast.

"Alright guys, let's see what was behind door #7!" I said all cheesy like a game show host.

-WHOOSH-

Our ship few forward a bit until we seemed to stop.

What all I could see was…sky.

That was all you _could_ see…sky.

No land, at all…just clouds and sky.

And not even the island clouds either…just sky.

I think my heart stopped for several minutes after that, right as my bowels stopped functioning.

**"..."**

"**..."**

**"!"**

As soon as we dropped like a rock (or a boat with four guys in it) that was REALLY when my life flashed before my eyes.

_MOM…DAD…SIS…__**AAAAAAAAH!**_

We fell so fast, I was just about to float out of the boat!

And I couldn't hold on because…YOU TRY AND MOVE WHEN YOU'RE FALLING OUT OF THE MOFREAKIN SKY!

As soon as we started to fall through the clouds, I knew it was the end.

_SO LONG NAMI…I HOPE…wait…Sanji Luffy and Usopp are with me…that means…OH NO WAY I'LL LET ZORO…wait, he hates Nami. STILL! I'M GONNA DIIIIIIIE!_

-WHOOSH-

-BOOM-

-**BOOOOM-**

We landed, thank the good benevolent lord above us (the REAL god, not _Eneru_), in a cloud river.

We landed with such a splash that the trees began rumbling with all the birds that were scared off.

_Guess that's what that guy meant by cut off huh?_ Michael said.

_Shut up._

Well, I was alive.

I checked my body, and was pretty much intact.

So was everyone else.

"We're…we're alive?" Sanji asked weakly.

Usopp had tears, snot, and spit running all over his face. His eyes had even rolled up into the back of his head.

"I seriously thought we were falling back into the blue seeeeea." He moaned.

"HUAHAHAHAHA!" Was all Luffy could say.

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

Sanji and I were kicking/punching his rubber face back and forth, telling him to NEVER say anything like that again.

After that work out, I checked the surroundings.

It was pretty much the same thing, larger than life trees in the midst of a humongous jungle.

Just one difference.

Balls.

Not just balls: big, white, floating balls.

Sky Jungle Balls.

"They're balls made of island cloud." Sanji deducted.

"HEH! Awesome!" Luffy remarked. "They look like really big snow flakes!"

Usopp hadn't fully recovered from out free fall, so I gave him a cloth to wipe his face with and shook him to wake up.

"Yo driver! Sleeping on the job ain't good for business. You gotta get up!"

He wiped his face finally, and stood up from the seat.

I took the wheel so he could rest.

"The river is taking us upward. Be on yer guard." I said.

"I just don't see how this is an ordeal!" Luffy complained.

"It'd be great if there was nothing ahead, but I doubt it." Sanji said, lighting a new cigarette.

"What if it was like one of those games?" Luffy asked me. "And we did pick the right door, and now all we have to do is float around in this giant snow looking for the others!"

"Though the term is used loosely, we are _wanted criminals_." I said. "If they let their persecution be reduced to nothing more than an overblown carnival game, they wouldn't be the _great utopia_ they crack themselves up to be. Now keep a look out. I'll see if I can steer us towards the exit."

Sanji looked out left, while Luffy looked out right, and Usopp checked the back.

The road was making several turns up ahead, and those giant white balls kept floating around us.

"Can we have a snack Sanji?" Luffy began to whine.

"Yeah! We need to keep our strength up!" Usopp chimed in.

"NO! No snacks! Keep watch!" He said.

They kept whining and crying until Sanji finally broke and gave them something to shut up.

* * *

Several minutes later, I heard something bouncing behind us.

"Hey Usopp! Catch!" Luffy shouted.

I turned to see them bouncing one of the cloud balls.

-CLICK-

_SHIT! BALLS DO STUFF!_

"GET RID OF THAT BALL!"

-POP-

"_HSSSSSS!_"

A blue snake popped out of the cloud ball and almost took Usopp's head off.

He dodged it and Sanji kicked upward out of the boat.

"Ok…didn't see that coming!" Luffy gasped.

"AHHH! SCREAVER! CLOUD BALL!" Usopp screamed, pointing to the front of the ship. "PUNCH IT AWAY!"

I turned to see the giant ball.

"YOU THINK YOU A REAL BALL BREAKER HUH? WELL I'M THE REAL BALL BREAKER!"

-BAM-

The ball rippled as I punched it.

Then it began to glow.

"Uh oh."

It released a high pitched ring.

"OOOOOOOH SHI…"

-**KABOOOOM-**

A huge explosion engulfed us in hot smoke.

When the smoke cleared, we were all smoldering like the cartoon characters did when they exploded.

"Well…didn't see that coming either." I concluded.

"Aaaaah…HAHAAAAAA!" A high pitched obese voice laughed.

Yes, I can _still _tell what obesity sounds like.

"SILLY CHILDREN! These are Surprise Clouds!" The voice said with glee.

We looked to where the voice was coming from.

"YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO COME OUT OF THEM! HAWHA**HAAAAAAAAW**! Heso."

We finally saw our new visitor.

At first I thought it was a snowman.

It was, in fact, just a ball of a man sitting on a much larger cloud ball.

Now this guy…he made Wapol look like a lightweight.

He seemed to be wearing a white jumpsuit, with a vertical line of gold rings going all up and around his body.

And he was in the perfect shape of a ball.

He had orange gloves and boots, a wide brimmed hat (also orange) orange tinted circle sunglasses on, extremely long rusty red hair, and a huge grin on his fat face.

Oh, and he had wings.

But not like the Skypieans. They were bigger and curved out more, but not big enough to live his fat fat ass.

"I'm SOOO glad you decided to pick my challenge: The Ordeal of Spheres! YEHAHAHAHA!"

We stared in awe.

"Yeeeah…is that a talking dumpling?" Sanji asked.

"Kinda looks like a snowman to me." I said.

He twirled around on his floating ball, laughing his annoying HAWHAW laugh.

"This guy is one of Eneru's priests?" Sanji asked in disbelief.

Then he started dancing.

That pissed Sanji off for some reason.

"STOP WITH THE DANCING! AND TELL US WHO YOU ARE!" He ordered.

He didn't stop.

"Gotta say he's not as bright as I expected." Usopp said, beginning to look slightly disappointed.

"Didn't Nami and the old guy say these priests were strong?" Luffy asked. "Cause I'm not seeing it."

"He must be the weakest. Or the priests have a special program where they adopt _special_ people." I said.

And by special, I don't mean mentally disabled.

I mean…just flat out stupid.

Sanji shouted threats to the ball man if Nami and Robin and others weren't ok.

"The sacrifices?" He asked. "They'll they won'''t really matter WHIIICH! If they escape, they'll die! If they are sacrificed, well then they'll die too!"

"WHAT'S THAT MEAN?" Sanji shouted, getting even more angry.

"But I'd be more worry about yourselves!" He said, still dancing like a circular oompaloompa. "You'll have to beat ME if you plan on going any further! And I REALLY don't see that happening!"

"I'll shoot him down before he get's a chance to get over hear." I whispered.

-BOING-

He leaped off the ball, and soared towards us.

Luffy spun his fist, I flicked my wrist.

"OOOH! You gonna stretch? And turn into a bazooka?" He asked.

"GUM GUM PISTOL!"

-KABOOM-

He twirled to dodge my shot, and again to miss Luffy's fist.

"OOOOOHOHOHOHOHOOO!"

His palm got right in Luffy's face and…

-DIIING-

**-BOOM-**

An explosion hit Luffy right in the face, sending him flying off the ship.

He crashed right into one of the trees, and fell to his face.

"LUFFY!"

I turned to the ball of fat.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT PUFF'N STUFF! BAZOOKA…"

"A punch to the left." He said.

I swiped my fist, but somehow he dodged it!

He was as big as the fuckin moon, and I couldn't hit him!

And he put his other palm to my face.

_Shit!_

-DIIING-

-**BOOM-**

The blast hit me square in the face.

Man oh MAN did that hurt!

I was slammed so hard into the tree I left an imprint, keeping up there for a good solid minute.

It wasn't until I regained consciousness until I saw the rest of us had been ejected from our boat.

All that remained was ball boy.

"My name is Satori! I am one of the seven priests of the almighty Eneru who watch over Upper Yard, and see to the judgment of criminals like yourselves! I own the Verth in this forest!"

He stepped on something on the boat, and the boat revved with power.

I guess he pressed the gas peddle.

"And now, you're boat will be lost in its illusions!" Satori said as he leaped off our boat and onto a passing cloud ball.

I wriggled a little out of the hole, pressing my legs against the tree.

"She will now speed along the Milky Road!" He explained. "Eventually, weaving her way to this forest's ONLY exit!"

"And if it goes through there without us on it, we're trapped." I moaned.

"Screaver! You're alright!" Luffy shouted.

"That is right criminal!" He said, still hopping around his giant ball.

"So, we gotta kick your fat ass, dodge the balls, get back on the boat and sail out of here. That's the ordeal?"

"It won't be as easy as you just so described!" He said.

He raised his arms.

"The Ordeal of Spheres! There is a 10% survival rate! So good luck!" He shouted.

I could hear Usopp say something about trying to find the ship before he began running.

"You coming Luffy?" Sanji asked.

I heard Luffy crack his knuckles.

"I'm going to take care of ball guy!" he said with determination.

"I'm staying too. Get the ship back Sanji. We'll pop this giant balloon." I said.

"Don't take it easy on this guy, he has…weird powers. We'll be back with the boat."

My eyes shot wide open.

"LEZ DO IT!"

-KABOOM-

I had formed my legs into bazookas in one second and launched myself out of the whole in the next one.

"BAZOOKA PUNCH!"

-WHOOSH-

He turned the cloud he was sitting on so he would spin downward, dodging my attack.

"Not quite!" He said.

He used the back of his hand to send me flying forward, into another tree.

"GUM GUM…"

I was trying to turn around, and attack him from two places.

"PISTOL!"

Luffy's fist missed his fat belly again, and the fatty grabbed his arm.

I kicked off the tree.

"BAZOOKA…"

-BAM-

He whacked Luffy into me, knocking me downward.

-BAM-

I smacked into a giant root of one of the trees.

-DIIING-

_He must have used that attack on Luffy again._

When I looked up at him again, he had Luffy in his hands, twirling him around and humming like he was doing house hold chores!

"La lalaaaaa!"

He flung Luffy into another tree.

I aimed my bazooka at him, and closed my eyes.

"Oh? What is this?" He said all cheerful.

"You can't predict what I can't see!"

-KABOOM-

I fired the shot, and when I opened my eyes…

HE DODGED IT!

"Oh I think I can!" He said and began to soar down towards me.

_SHIT! Didn't that work with Hendrick?_

_No Screaver! He can't know unless you don't know what direction it's going in!_

_Oh…CRAP! I FORGOT!_

"HEY LOOK! A LITTLE BOY!" I shouted, pointing to the left of me.

"HA! You're tactics are all in vain!" He shouted.

_WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?_ Michael shouted.

_I thought he was a priest._

_NOT A CATHOLIC PRIEST! AND THAT'S HORRIBLY INCENSITIVE!_

_SO WHAT? I'M CATHOLIC!_

…Anyways…

The Lock On technique, that was the only thing I got to use against him.

I armed my bazooka.

"Here I COOOOOOOME!" He said in delight.

"FIRE!"

-KABOOM-

I fired a shot at him.

As expected, he dodged.

_STOP!_

The ball of energy stopped.

_LOCK ON!_

It soared towards Satori.

_GOTCHA FATTY!_

The ball was right behind him, I put my arms up in defense as he got closer and closer.

"WHOOOHOOOHOOOO!" He yelled. "Oh! Wait a moment!"

He twirled, and put his hand to my homing shot!

-WHOOSH-

His hand…ABSORBED MY HOMING SHOT!

He then twirled back around. "You thought I wouldn't know that, didn't ya? Well…I DID! HO HO HOOOOOO!"

_HOW?_

I tried to back up, but he was already too close.

"And now, you can have it back!" He cried.

-DING-

-**BOOM-**

The blast erupted in my body, and sent me crashing into another giant tree.

_Shit…shit…how…didn't it work with Hendrick?_

_Maybe Hendrick's haki wasn't as strong as these priests. They do look older and more experienced then he was._ Michael said.

I saw that Satori had moved onto Luffy again, using so many blasts on his head that it was pushing his head into the wood.

And all the while, he was giggling like a little girl.

I got out of the tree.

_I can't fight him now. Luffy'll be fine. I got to regroup with the others._

I got out of the imprint I made in the tree, and dashed in the direction of the river.

"I'll be back Luffy!" I shouted.

"Mmmkmmm!" I heard back.

"OHH HOHOOOOOO!"

-BOING-

Something hit me in the back.

Then instantly, it grew and flattened me.

-THUMP-

I had no idea what it was.

I tried to craw out from under it.

It was heavy, and it seemed…springy?

When I finally got out from under it, I saw it to be…a mattress.

"What the hell?"

"SURPRISE CLOUD BILLIARDS!" I could hear Satori cheer.

I could see in the distance Usopp getting knocked off a high branch from a cloud ball.

"IMA COMIN USOPP!"

I ran as fast as I could to try and catch Usopp.

-THUD-

Didn't run fast enough.

"Usopp! You ok buddy?" I said, leaning down to him.

He seemed alright, just in pain.

"ALRIGHT YOOOU! THAT DOES IT!" I could hear Luffy scream in anger. " NOW YOU MADE ME MAD!"

He was running from a top the branches.

He leaped off one of the clouds.

I armed my bazooka.

_This won't be as fast without my other arm, but it should help._

"GUM GUUUUUM…"

"BAZOOOKA…"

"**GATLING!**"

Luffy threw a wall of punches, while I fired countless rounds of shots at Satori.

Somehow, Satori was able to dodge ALL of them!

That made us continue our attacks.

"LUFFY! SCREAVER! USE YOU HEADS!" Sanji shouted. "YOU TWO ARE ONLY MAKING THINGS WORSE!"

When we halted our attacks, we could see that all the cloud balls had begun ricocheting off of everything.

"OH NOOOO! IT'S TOOOOHOHOHOOOOO LATE!" Usopp cried in fear.

"TAKE COVER! THERE COMING AT US FROM ALL SIDES!" Sanji shouted.

One was about to hit Usopp and me.

I pushed him out of the way.

-SHING-

The ball erupted with a dozen sword blades.

"Screaver! Behind you!" Usopp shouted.

I turned to see a ball land right in front of me.

It grew four brown and furry dog legs, a long dog tail, all complete with a big foaming fang filled dog head.

It leaped at me.

"RABIES!"

-KABOOM-

I fired off a shot with my leg bazooka.

"Usopp! Head that way and look for the Crow! Avoid all of the balls, even if they seem like duds!" I shouted.

"But they all look the same!" He shouted back.

"JUST FIND THE DAMN BOAT!" I ordered.

Two more balls were flying my way.

Both of them exploded when they hit the ground.

Fortunately, I launched myself into the air to dodge them.

I fired my bazooka at another cloud ball.

-KABOOM-

-BOING-

The blast just bounced off the cloud!

_Huh. So the blast from the bazooka make the clouds bounce, but do not trigger them. Fascinating!_ Michael said.

_Easy for you to say._

"!"

Usopp swung past me with some kind of rope attached to his belt.

He was in a direct path towards the Milky Road, right on top the Crow!

"GO USOPP! GOOO!" I cheered.

He was right next to the Crow, just had to let go of the rope and he would be right aboard it!

Except…

HE DIDN'T LET GO!

Or, should I say, he _couldn't _let go.

"I FORGOT THE ROPE IS SORT OF ATTACHED TO THE BELT! I NEVER GOT AROUND TO FIXING THAT PART!"

"FUCK!"

I fired a shot to try and cut the rope, but it got intercepted by a cloud ball.

The cloud ball was then bounced off the shot, and went right towards Usopp.

"OH GOD DAAAAAMN IT!"

When I landed to the ground, I began running forward to try and stop the ball, but it was on a direct course with Usopp.

"USOPP! WATCH OUT!" I yelled.

With a panicked look on his face, he was swung backwards, missing the ball.

It instead, hit a tree.

-SHING-

The ball erupted with tiny daggers.

"HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FIRING!" Usopp shouted.

He began swinging back and forward, right next to Luffy, still making a jungle call.

Sanji was standing atop a tall tree, so I began to climb that tree in order to regroup.

When I reached the top (and that was no picnic) Sanji looked…rather furious.

"Screaver, help me get Luffy and Usopp back, would you?" He said, his face all wrinkled and evil looking.

"Um…sure…I guess?"


	84. Chapter 84

**Hello everyone. I want to appologise for disappearing for several weeks. You see, several things happened over the last few weeks such as going on a week long trip to New York, getting a cold from New York, making up work from missing a week...well, things pile up as it were.**

**But I'm back, and expect chapters to come out regularly once again. Once every two weeks I believe it is.**

* * *

Satori Brings Out the Big Guns

Ordeal of Love? (HA!)

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

Well…Sanji was laying the smack down on both Luffy and Usopp.

I'm just glad that he didn't attack me.

Although if he did…I still woulda kicked his ass.

When he was done, both of them were a swollen, bloody mess.

Then he inhaled a puff from his cigarette.

"Here's the deal." He told them. "I'm gonna forget about what just happened. But now you do what **I** say."

"Right." Luffy said weakly. "I'm _th_arry."

"Yeah…me too what he said." Usopp followed up on.

"Sure, whatever." I said.

Sanji said that we were gonna forget about the boat for now, and focus all our attacks on the talking balloon.

"I don't care about what powers he's got." Sanji explained. "With three of us attacking at the same time, if there's a way to beat him we'll find it."

"OH? Don't be so sure!" A sly obese voice said loudly.

We panicked, started looking around.

We weren't gonna let him get the drop on us. We looked all over, but all we could see were the floating cloud balls.

-WHOOSH-

He got the drop on us!

-DING-

-**BOOM-**

He fell from right above us, and used his impact on Sanji, slamming him into the tree.

"Like they say, life is pain!" He scoffed. "Hehehe."

Then he turned to us.

"Now who wants to go next?" He asked, aiming his palm at us.

"BASTARD!" I yelled, and charged him.

-KABOOM-

I made an impact on my own.

But he dodged.

"To bad!"

-DING-

**-BOOM-**

I was the next one blasted away.

It was like…he made an explosion on my insides, every time he used that attack.

I couldn't move. I could only hear Satori laughing his ass off.

It wasn't until I could move again when he stopped.

ThSatori screamed, "INTRODUCIIIING…"

-BOING- -BOING- -BOING-

I looked up and saw that the balls were beginning to come together.

From largest to smallest, they formed a sort of line. Like a big tail.

And the largest one had some sort of mask on it, to look like the head of an orange, fanged Chinese (and for some reason antlered) dragon.

"THE SPHERE DRAGON!"

"It looks like all you did was string a bunch of surprise clouds together." Luffy said, bruised and battered but still breathing. "Is that the best you can do? I have to say I'm disappointed!"

"Oh you won't be for long!" Satori said, waving around some sort of giant candy cane.

He said the dragon was loaded with bombs, fireworks and all sorts of shrapnel.

So, if we touch any part of it, we blow up.

"Simple enough." I groaned and stomped up out of the hole I made in the tree.

"HOPE YOU LIKE FIREWORKS!" Satori cheered.

He waved his cane and called out, "GO SPHERE DRAGOOOON!"

The dragon zoomed straight towards Luffy.

"GET READY FOR MY GUM GUUUUM PISTOL!"

"NO LUFFY!" I shouted.

Usopp tackled him to dodge the dragon.

It made a loop upward as Usopp _carefully_ explained to Luffy to NOT touch the dragon.

Once the dragon made a complete loop, it dived for them again.

They leaped out of the way, but clung to another surprise cloud.

-KABOOM-

"What a bunch of…balls."

_How can I beat this guy? He beat my only method to counter his haki, and now he's just playing with us!_

_Screaver! There might be another way to beat him._ Michael said.

_What? You know how to counter haki?_

_No! Listen, if your artificial hand can absorb the after shock of the blow, couldn't it in theory absorb the other end?_

_Maybe..._

_All you have to do is absorb one blow, and that may give you the surprise you need to break his concentration and get one good punch._

It hadn't really occured to me that the only part of my body that wasn't in pain _was_ my left arm.

_Well…ok. What do I got to loose?_

"OK NOW YOU'RE JUST TOYING WITH US!" Usopp shouted in anger at Satori.

"Of course! HO HO HOOOOO!" He said.

He flicked his cane and the dragon swooped towards us again.

"FLASH STEP!"

I wasn't moving as fast as I had hoped.

I aimed my bazooka straight at the dragon.

"SCREAVER DON'T!" Usopp shouted.

_Please oh please oh PLEASE God let this work._

-KABOOM-

I fired the blast at the dragon's face.

-BOING-

Sure enough, the dragon was pushed to the side so it soared a good foot to the right of me.

I turned to see a cowering Usopp and a bewildered Luffy.

"How did…huh…we're still alive!" He cheered.

The dragon looped and then returned to it's bewildered master.

"HOW DID YOU DEFLECT MY DRAGON?" He yelled in surprise. "No matter, you're all still going to die!"

I don't know how many times he flung that stupid looking dragon at us, or how long it took, but I was getting really tired before I just finally fell to the ground in exhaustion.

"Come on Screaver! COME ON!" Luffy whined.

He pulled me upward and we began running again.

He was doing a lot better than I was, I'm just not build for endurance.

If only I could get right next to that fat guy!

"You'll be out of option's quite soon!" Satori said. "It's quite sad really! Your little boat has nearly reached the forest's exit. And when that happens, it's all over for you! HO HO!"

He was so full of himself, hadn't even gotten a single bruise in this fight.

"You'll be trapped in this unfamiliar forest, and die of exhaustion!"

Luffy growled.

"That…won't…HAPPEN!"

Luffy stretched a punch at him, but Satori dodged and flicked his dragon towards us.

I fired a shot to it's face, which made it move around us, but then soon turned upward and back at us.

Luffy began to run while I ducked under the dragon.

_NOW'S MY CHANCE!_

I ran as fast as I could to Satori's cloud ball, floating high up.

I headed straight towards the tree he was next to.

_Just like Arabasta._

I kicked off and began running up the tree trunk.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"

Half way there.

"HUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAA…"

Just another few meters.

-URRR-

I stopped.

I couldn't run upward anymore.

My body began moving downward.

_Well…guess I couldn't do it twice huh?_

I fell back downward, to the sound of Satori's annoying laughter.

"HO HOOOOOO! All tuckered out are we?"

I turned and grabbed onto a floating cloud ball.

It was pushed downward a little, but still caught me.

_PLEASE DON'T EXPLODE!_

-POP-

A glass of water popped out.

"Oh…why thank you."

Well…at least it didn't blow up.

-GULP-

"Ah…I needed that."

I was sitting on the ball, trying catch my breath.

Satori was still moving his cane and trying to move his dragon to get Luffy.

I eyed several spheres that, in theory, could lead me all the way up to Satori IF I jumped on them and IF they didn't blow up.

_It's worth a shot._

_You can do it Screaver!_ Michael said.

_NO! DON'T SAY THAT! You have to say "Oh Screaver! It won't work! You can't do that! Ima whiny bitch!" or I won't make it!_

…_asshole._ He said.

_That's a good start._

I stood up, swung my arms and…

-BOING-

I sailed up to the one above me.

-BOING-

Tentacles.

-BOING-

Flowers.

-BOING-

Cats (but they didn't touch me).

And I jumped on the top branch.

"NOW YOU'RE MINE!"

Satori turned to me as I ran down the branch right next to him.

"So forgetful." He said.

_Screaver! Why did you alert him?_ Michael shouted.

I leaped towards him.

He raised his palm.

I held up my left arm.

-BAM-

I grabbed his arm, his palm on mine.

He smiled.

"You fool! Why did you…"

-CLICK-

I could feel the dial activate.

-DING-

-**BOOM-**

I didn't feel a thing.

"GUAAAAAAAAAAH! MY ARM!"

Satori was screaming in pain. I released his arm.

His arm had become deformed and broken.

And my was…perfectly fine.

"YOU LITTLE MONSTER! HOW DID YOU…HOW DARE YOU…"

-BAM-

I punched hard in his gut.

He was knocked backward, causing him to flick his cane upward.

I just noticed there was a rope attached to the end of it.

The rope was pulling Luffy towards us.

Who was holding another, shorter rope that was connected to the FUCKIN BOMB DRAGON!

I leaped back and ran down the branch.

I didn't know what happened next, but all I could hear was…

-**KABOOOOOOOOOOOM-**

All I knew what to do was keep running.

I was engulfed in smoke for a few minutes.

I was waving my arms to try and fan the smoke away.

When it finally cleared, a huge chunk of the forest seemed to have been demolished.

I was hiding behind a part of a trunk that had several blades and knifes impaled on it.

I could see Satori floating above the damage, on top one of his clouds.

Satori seemed to have gotten damaged form the blast, which was good in my opinion.

And even better, Luffy was ridding on his back!

"Good job Luffy!" I shouted.

"Do **not** let him go Luffy." I could hear Sanji's voice say.

He was sitting on another cloud ball, floating quite a ways away from them.

"Hey Screaver, I'm gonna need your help with this. Get over here." Sanji said to me in his deep disrespectful voice.

"Don't be so bossy Sanji." I told him, making my way from tree to tree towards him.

"Hey, Sanji, where have you been?" Luffy asked him.

"I WAS OUT COLD ON THE FOREST FLOOR! WHERE ELSE WOULD I HAVE BEEN YOU IDIOT?" He shouted in anger.

I was on the tree closest to Sanji.

Satori was trying to shake Luffy off.

"But that's besides the point." He said, relighting his cigarette. He then turned his attention to Satori. "You see, you keep on saying _challenge_ this and _challenge_ that which normally wouldn't interest me. However, there are two helpless ladies waiting for me to come to their rescue, and I refuse to let them down."

"HEY! If anyone's rescuing Nami, it's me blondie!" I shouted. "You can have Robin!"

He ignored my statement.

"So I'm proposing this." He said. "And I think you'll like it."

He paused.

"Ordeal…of Love."

_!_

"UNHAND ME THIS INSTANT YOU MAGGOTS!" Satori screamed.

-WHIRLWHIRLWHIRL-

Luffy slung his arms and legs around Satori, wrapping his fat body up with Luffy's limbs.

"AH! It's just not fair!" He shouted, panicking even more. "You have no honor ganging up three against one!"

"_We_ have no honor?" Sanji said in surprise. "You creeps kidnapped our friends and tried to murder a beautiful young angel!"

"Not to mentioned you were using A FUCKING GIANT FIRE BOMB ON A STRING!" I yelled in anger.

But I regained my cool and gave him a sly smile.

"You know that ability you have…Mantra right? Well, it's pretty nifty, if you can dodge the attacks." I said slyly.

"Yeah!" Luffy said, grinning widely. "But what good is that, if you can't do anything to avoid them?"

Satori was screaming and cursing like mad to break free of Luffy's grasp, but to no avail.

Sanji's cloud was drifting closer and closer to them.

"Screaver, Be ready to jump right above me, and aim your gun at me." Sanji said. "And Luffy, be ready to let go."

_What's he planning?_ Michael asked.

_Something stupid, yet cool at the same time if I'm correct._

The priest was babbling something about how defying to be judged was a 1st degree crime in Skypiea, and to attack a priest was to declare war on Eneru.

"FINALLY!"

"I got a question." Sanji said. "Do you ever cook?"

_By the looks of his belly, he certainly does **eat.**_

"Well," Sanji said, holding out his hand, "you don't have to be a chef to know which dish is best served cold."

Sanji bent downward.

"You know this dish is really quite simple." He said. "Step one: season the main course with a smattering of defeat."

-KABOOM-

-BOING-

I launched myself into the air. Sanji leaped as well.

I was a little above him in the air and aimed my bazooka.

He put his heel right outside the muzzle.

"Then you must brutally and without hesitation tenderize the meat!"

"Launch!"

-KABOOM-

The blast sent Sanji in such a fast spin, that his foot must have caught fire.

"NO NO NOOOO!" Satori cried.

Sanji's foot smashed right down into Satori's skull.

-**BAM-**

"DEEEEEEEEEELICIOUS!"

-**BOOM-**

The kick sent him crashing into the ground, causing a mini fire and a huge hole in the ground.

_Wow…it's really over!_

"And that's the end of that."

* * *

We had regrouped right next to Satori.

He was either dead, or in a comma. Those were the only two choices.

"He couldn't have shut up any sooner." Sanji said. "Nothing worse than being humiliated by a guy who looks like that."

"At least he had some neat tricks. Like predicting our moves before we even knew them." Luffy said.

"I would have taken my chances in the Ordeal of Lights." I said.

"HEY GUYS! GUYS! I FOUND THE BOAT!" We could hear Usopp shout.

He told us to high tail it out of there, or we would miss the boat.

We found him, making adjustments to his belt.

"You just hold on to my body." He said.

"USOPP!"

-BOOM-

The rope shot out of the belt and wrapped onto something in the distance.

I saw through my scope that it had wrapped around the head of the Crow.

We were applauding him and hugging and shit and just having a merry old time.

Then the rope began to pull.

And we all held tight.

-WHACHIH-

"**WAAAAAAAAAH!**"

We soared toward the ship.

Correction: Slammed into many trees over, and over, and over…

…until we finally fell into the boat.

"I will _never_…let you forget this." Sanji groaned, kicking Usopp.

Speaking of Usopp, he was half way drowning in the river.

No one cared.

"Ya know…" Luffy said… "I coulda stretched my arm…and grabbed the boat."

"I wouldn't trust that either." I said, head resting on the pole of the umbrella.

* * *

The ship sailed calmly up the Milky Road, and out of the forest.

Into…another forest.

_Well…One priest down. Six to go._

We were relaxing, for the time being.

Luffy and Usopp were doing funny impressions of other crew members.

He was pretending to be asleep.

"_Zoro! Would you wake up already?"_ Usopp said, probably making fun of Nami.

"_Huh?"_ Luffy said, straightening his hair. _"You're a dead man. –Ngh-"_

It cracked me up.

"THIS IS NO TIME FOR GOOFING OFF!" Sanji shouted.

I searched through our luggage and pulled out one of Sanji cigarettes (he kept an extra pack in his bag.)

I put it to my mouth.

"_Ordeal…of Loooooove._" I said in my best Sanji impersonation.

Luffy did too, in sync.

Usopp was cracking up, even when I spat out the cigarette and scrapped my tounge to rid of the taste.

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

He beat the living crap out of the other two, and only hit me once or twice.

"Anyways, we should be making our way to the alter. Understand?" He grumbled.

"What? Already? I mean this is sort of forward I mean we haven't even dated yet?" I joked.

"Shut it." He said in a dead serious tone.

"Yeah yeah."

The other two were letting out small burst of pained laughter.

"Well...**I** thought it was funny."


	85. Chapter 85

Regroup at the Alter 

An Adventure with Gold at the End?

We sailed through a tunnel of trees in silence.

I was still recovering from the fight with the priest. I could only find several bruises, but it felt like my insides had been tenderized.

_Well, we have six more priests to beat._

_Not to mention Eneru himself, and all of his underlings._ Michael added.

…_Yeah…thanks._

_Relax Screaver, remember what you said to the others? We can't be discouraged by every death threat were given right?_

_Oh shut up. You fight one of these guys for once and THEN you can be a sarcastic a-hole._

The tunnel ended, to reveal a wide open grassy field.

And in the grass were spears…with skulls on them.

_Classy._

"What…is this?" Luffy asked.

"My guess is another ordeal, so you three stay awake." Sanji said dryly.

"Another one? We haven't recovered from the last one yet!" I complained.

We sailed by the skulls, keeping close attention on any sudden movements.

"HUAAAAAAAAH!"

-KABOOM-

To the left of us, the sounds of explosions and battle cries were being made.

The trees were being shaken like crazy, crazy lights were flashing from the trees, sounds of…lazer beams…even a mini tornado?

_Must be those three extra priests making it quite difficult for those guerrillas._ Michael guessed.

_Yeah…pretty strange. We got our work cut out for us this time._

Usopp was already freaking out about the skulls, and now this…wasn't helping his paranoia.

"THERE GONNA HIT US WITH ALL OF THEM AT ONCE!" Usopp cried.

"That sure would save time." Sanji remarked.

-WHOOSH-

Several figures flew overhead.

They looked like…a mix of tribal Indians and angels.

They had spears and guns, with those weird skates on, wore some type of tribal garb, and had wings.

One of them had a bazooka, and once he sailed over us, FIRED AT US!

Luffy stood up and inhaled.

"GUM GUM…"

-BOING-

His overinflated belly stopped the attack.

"BALLOON!"

-KABOOM-

The blast fired right back at them.

They landed on the trees, too far to make out their faces.

But I knew who that guy with the bazooka was.

He was the masked prick who tried to blow us up the first minute we got here.

Luffy was angry and ready for a fight.

"WE'RE READY! COME ON DOWN! WE'LL CREAM YOU! MAKE YOU'RE MOVE BIG GUY!" and so on and so forth.

"You sound and stink like Blue Sea people!" He shouted. "Which means you're the ones causing all the chaos in Skypiea!"

"YER WELCOME!"

Sanji recognized him as the Guerrilla we saw in the White Sea.

"JUST BLOW US UP AND GET IT OVER WITH!" Usopp cried in fear.

I aimed my bazooka.

"Ready for round two asshole? I just got through beatin' an overweight priest as a warm up!" I taunted him.

"If you don't want to die then just go back to your _blue sea_ immediately!" He yelled back. "Because if you do anything stupid on this island, I promise we'll execute you along with Eneru!"

Luffy kept raving like a mad man, itching for a fight with him.

Usopp held him back long enough for them to go back into the forest.

"I wonder what there doing up here." Luffy said.

"We should just ignore them for now and focus all our power on the priests and Eneru."

"You know…I really hate this place." Usopp moaned.

* * *

After we finally reached the end of the grassland, we reached another section of forest.

Sanji wanted to be as far away from that field as possible.

"Are you afraid we'll run into those other guys?" I asked him.

"I want to try and avoid them. It's like you said: we need to focus our energy towards Eneru and his priests." He explained.

We sailed deeper and deeper into the dark jungle.

Then the ship took a sudden dive.

"Oh boy, grab on guys. We're in for a ride!" I said.

The ship went faster and faster and went even steeper.

Then it began to do a corkscrew!

"Dying will be a blast! HEHE!" Luffy shouted.

"You said it Captain!" I shouted.

Then it did a humongous loop!

"I REALLY REALLY _REALLY_ HATE THIS PLACE!" Usopp shouted.

"THIS IS WAY BETTER THAN SIX FLAGS!"

* * *

As the sun began to set to a nice orange, we calmly began to sail over the Milky Road.

It had been put over a humongous tree, the biggest one I had seen so far.

"Do ya feel that?" Usopp asked. "It's weird! Like something bad's gonna happen when we get over that tree!"

"It's called anticipation Usopp." I said.

"I'm not _anticipating_ anything!" He said in refusal.

When we got to the top, all we saw was…

A sheer 80 degree drop to our doom.

Nothing we hadn't seen before.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEEEHAHAHAA!" Luffy laughed.

I could see a big pool of cloud below us. And there were little figures in the cloud.

"Are those the priests?" Usopp asked.

"Nope." Sanji said. "Just sky sharks."

"Well if that don't be all." I said.

Luffy jumped to the figure head.

"GUM GUUUUM…"

He released a fury of fists.

"…GATLING!"

-BAM-

The sky sharks were knocked…well…skyward!

I could see something in the distance.

It looked like an alter, with two torches on it and a big stair case.

And on top of it was…the Going Merry!

But she was missing her mast!

Oh, there it was…floating downward in the middle of the water.

_**MY STUUUUUUUUFF!**_

"**WHAT HAPPENED TO MY STUUUUUUUUUFF? MY GUITAR! MY GAMEBOY! ALL GONE!"** I roared in anger.

"It's ok Screaver, we can get new stuff!" Luffy said.

I was about to break down into tears, until I saw near the shore were…

**BEAUTIFUL RED HAIRED NAMI! ALL SAFE AND SOUND!**

AND Zoro!

And…ugh…_Robin._

We all waved and shouted at them.

_But seriously…WHOEVER STOLE ALL MY STUFF IS GONNA BE IN SERIOUS SHIT!_

* * *

After we boarded the ship, Chopper filled us in on what happened.

One of the priests, named Shura or something like that, rode in on a fire breathing bird and torched the ship with a spear that could burn things. He had to throw our mast into the water or the ship would have burned up.

He told us he was rescued by the old Sky Knight, and was currently resting in the ship.

Everyone else went inside to check on him, except Usopp, Chopper, and me. We were inspecting all the damages done to the Merry.

Chopper's face was trembling and he was looking down, trying to contain his tears.

"I'm…I'm really sorry…no matter what I did, that guy kept burning everything…"

I looked down at him, covered in bandages and wounds.

I pushed my hand down on his big pink hat and smiled.

"What you cryin' for? You said you did all ya could."

"You must have been scarred facing that guy all by yourself." Usopp said. "It's better that he set the mast on fire then you right?"

He looked up high with surprise, started to cry some more, and climbed to the railing.

"I PROMISE TO BECOME A MORE DEPENDABLE MAN RIGHT NOW!"

I looked at the place where the mast should have been, a ripped up stump in the center of a scorched deck.

"Some grand adventure this hell-ride has been."

I kicked the stump in frustration.

_Seven fucking priests, serving some ass-clown who dares call himself God. He's pretty much enslaved a whole island of people into following his rule, can't say nothing bad about him! That's taking away their 1st right ya know! What is this? World War One? Don't be pullin some Espionage Act bull shit!_

What? I paid _some_ attention in history class.

Nothing could be done at the moment, so I went down to see the knight.

He was asleep, sleeping under a blanket near the rudder stick (that thing we use to control the ship).

Pier was also sitting near his master, with a bandage over his wing.

"If it wasn't for the Sky Knight you guys wouldn't have a ship, and I for sure be dead." Chopper said.

"I've got a bunch of questions for him," Sanji said, "but I guess I'll wait till he wakes up."

Luffy was night next to him.

Then he started tugging the knight's long white beard.

"LUUUUFFY!" Chopper shouted.

I sat in a chair next to Nami.

"So…how was the forest?"

She shrugged. "Just trying to get through part of it was a nightmare."

I nodded.

"So…you faced on of those priests?" She asked.

"Yep. Took all four of us, but now old Eneru has only six priests at his command."

She seemed confused. "Six?"

"Yeah, ya see each ordeal has one priest. There were seven ordeals, seven minus one is six."

She was thinking about something.

"Is there a problem?"

"No…It's just…nothing." She concluded, and walked outside.

_Hey…Screaver…_ Michael began to say.

_Don't even DARE think there are more then seven priests!_

_But…_ He said.

_I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! I WILL DENY IT UNTIL I SEE IT!_

I followed everyone outside. They had begun making plans for the night.

"We should hop over to land and make camp on shore for the night." Sanji said.

"Huh? Why there?" Luffy asked.

"Because if we stay here and someone attacks us the first thing to take a beating will be our ship!" Usopp told him. "Would you use your head Luffy?"

"Not to mention it's easier to fight on land then from an alter floating on a cloud." Sanji added.

Luffy began to jump up and down with excitement, shouting, "CAMPING!"

"THIS ISN'T A PARTY LUFFY!" Usopp shouted. "We're in enemy territory! SO CALM DOWN!"

"Right! Not a party." Luffy agreed.

He then looked out to all the dead Sky Sharks floating in the water/cloud.

"Hey Usopp…is a barbeque a party?"

* * *

Within an hour we had make a big fire surrounded by several trees, moved the Sky Knight with us as well, fired up some shark on sticks, and had a wonderful dinner.

Ok, nobody wanted to eat the sharks other than Luffy and myself, and Luffy was about to tear through his third shark, but I digress…

"These things are tasty! Right Screaver?" He said, chomping down.

"You'd both eat dirt if we told you it was food." Nami said in disgust.

I dropped the shark in shame.

"More for me! HEHEH!" Luffy shouted as he snatched it up.

-CLANK- -CLANK- -CLANK-

"Quiet down now!" Usopp said, banging a stick on a chalkboard.

I didn't know how he got a chalkboard in the middle of the forest, and for God's sake I didn't care.

"Time to hear everybody's field reports!" He ordered.

We went around the campfire, telling him what we observed in our first day on Upper Yard.

Sanji represented our party, Chopper told us what went down on the ship, and Nami represented the other group.

After they told him, he basically summarized everything they said into dumbed down terms.

1. Priests predict movements with power they call "Mantra.

2. The bird blows flames!

3. The spear burns things!

4. The sky island is actually a part of Jaya, which we thought sank in the ocean!

_I guess Cricket's been wrong this entire time._

_You can't blame him._ Michael said. _All he had to go on was his ancestor's last words, which were it must have sunk into the sea._

"So, what's all this Mantra business all about?" Zoro asked.

"Don't know." Sanji said, as he was grinding something into paste. "Maybe it's some kind of sixth sense you can only get up here."

"That ain't true." I said.

I turned to Robin.

"Hey Robin, remember Mr. 6 or 3 or Hendrick from Baroque Works?" I asked her.

I turned to Sanji.

"I've fought this power before! Back in Arabasta!"

They were shocked.

"Are you sure?" Sanji asked.

"Mr. 6." Robin repeated. "Yes. He never kept in much contact outside several meetings, but it was reported he had some sort of mind reading power. In fact, this was why we recruited him in the first place."

I nodded.

"And you beat him?" Zoro asked.

I nodded again.

"If you beat somebody like that before, then how come you still got your ass handed to you with Satori?" Sanji asked, mildly annoyed.

"I don't know." I said. "I thought the same trick I used on him would work with Satori, but it didn't work. Ball boy's power must have been stronger."

Sanji nodded. "Well if this power can get stronger, then it just goes to show how dangerous these priests are."

He handed the bowl to Chopper, who was treating the old man.

"HEH! This is it!" Luffy cheered. "An adventure with gold at the end! I can't wait!"

"Glad to see somebody on my side." Nami said cheerfully. "I'm ready!"

"Luffy, no." Usopp said with fear. "Do you remember what the scary gorilla guy said about execution?"

"God will be…" Chopper said, equally as frightened, "…really mad!"

Robin chuckled. "Sounds like fun."

Sanji said, "Well, we wouldn't be very good pirates if we turned our backs on gold. So let's not."

"It won't be easy." Zoro said casually. "You know everybody up here already hates us."

I smacked my fists together. "Good. I like it that way. We got an army of angry guerillas and an army of God to beat. All I'm saying is that there's gonna be plenty of action for all of us!"

"Come on!" Usopp pleaded to all of us, beginning to tear up. "Aren't you even a little frightened of the wrath of God?"

"NOPE!" I shouted at him.

Luffy stood up and raised his fists.

"GOOOOOLD! AND IT'S ALL WAITING FOR US!"

* * *

After Luffy's big speech, we split up to prepare for tomorrow. Some went to gather supplies, others stayed to prepare what we already had.

Me however went to the shore of the big cloud lake, where the alter was.

I looked at the mast, still broken off and blackened from flames. Even the ship had a few burn marks on it.

_These priests sure are pains in the ass, huh Michael?_

_Indeed._ Michael said. _Seven powerful warriors all dedicated to Eneru and serve him like angels to a God._

_You know, there should only be four of them. Three of them shouldn't be here._

_And neither should you._ He said.

I sighed. _Got me there._

_It's not like it's a bad thing you're here Screaver…_ He said.

_I know, I know, I've been here God knows how long and have realized that! I'm here to stay. Just have to make do._

-GURGLE-

Bubbles were rising out from the cloud.

I looked over.

The cloud started to ripple, and rumble.

"This can't be good."

-RUMBLE-

I cocked my fist, ready for a fight.

-BWOOSH-

The cloud erupted and doused me in water/cloud.

I shook my head to get the water out, and started to wipe my eyes.

-UUUUURP-

When I looked back to the lake, I saw an familiar fishy face.

Damien, that weird lookin' skyfish.

"How…why…what are you doing here?" I said, happy to see him.

The fish made a rumbling sound, and shook it's body.

"Damien?"

"**BLEEEEEEECH!"**

It seemed to hack up a loogie and spit on the land right next to me.

"YUCK! What the hell?"

The fish shook it's body again and smiled.

I looked at…whatever he coughed up. It was covered in thick slime.

"Uh…thanks?"

It burped.

Upon further inspection, the shape of the thing was sort of long.

In fact, it was rather…guitar shaped.

"No way…"

I grabbed one end of it, which was mighty disgusting to say the least, and plunged it into the side of the water. Then I swished it around.

When I pulled it out, it was revealed to be a slightly green guitar case.

And when I popped it open, revealed my green guitar!

_Dear lord, I'd like to thank you for this gift, and sorry for the whole flipping you off thing. That was just me being stupid._

"Thanks Damien! How'd ya find it?" I asked him.

He just started gurgling again incoherently.

I closed the case. It seemed to be in well condition.

Also, the case seemed to be water proof, which I hadn't known before.

"I don't suppose you didn't find anything else floating down there did ya?"

He cocked his head to the side.

Again…don't know how.

"Nevermind."

_No gameboy…WAAAAAH!_

Ah…oh well, could be worse I guess.

_That hat of mine is gone too. Awww..._

_Actually Screaver, didn't you loose that hat when you were climbing that mountain in Drum Kingdom?_ Michael said.

_Oh yeah...forgot about that._

The fish looked over at our ship and back at me.

"That's my ship. She looks in pretty bad shape I know, but we'll fix her up real good."

I thought it was strange that Damien was in the water with several other giant sky sharks, but they weren't trying to eat him.

Maybe Damien was a very well known…_fish_, or maybe he tasted bad.

"Have you been…following me?" I asked him.

Damien made his rumbling sound and shook it's body.

"Is that…a yeah?"

The fish growled.

"Ok…Who the hell said fish could growl?" I shouted.

The fish grunted and pushed off from the land.

"HEY! Didn't mean to piss you off!"

The fish continued forward until it submerged into the cloud.

_You might as well head back to the others._ Michael suggested.

_I just hope I didn't piss him off._


	86. Chapter 86

**Whoo boy, hello everybody. I want to appoligise for being away for so long. In fact at the moment I'm so tired I don't even wanna check if I spelt appoligise correctly.**

**It has been pretty hecktic for me these past several weeks, finals, choir performances, tests, haven't found the time to write a new chapter.**

**But it's all over now, and although my finals are next week...you think I really care about finals?**

**Well...kinda...but it's about time I write you a new chapter.**

**So here's your newest chapter, and hopefully the next time I see ya, it will be summertime!**

* * *

Planning the Journey Ahead

Dancing with Wolves and Conversations with Kla...Ku...Klabablabaauhs

"SCREAVER!" Sanji shouted. "You were supposed to search for supplies in the forest! Stupid Shithead!"

"AH BITE MY ASS! Stupid Cook! I was busy fishing my stuff out of the water!"

Me and Sanji were in _another_ argument over stupid things…again.

-BAM-

"That's enough out of you two!" Nami roared, cracking her knuckles. "GET BACK TO WORK!"

I frowned and sat my stuff down.

Everyone was busy working and preparing for tomorrow.

Sanji was making dinner (actual dinner, not just sky sharks), Zoro and Chopper brought back a whole harvest of various animals and plants, Nami was charting our routes of the forest area, Robin brought back a giant rock…

…a salty rock…

Even Luffy was filling our water canteens.

Everyone was working so hard…made me feel kind of useless.

"Hey Screaver," Sanji said, "If you're gonna stand around being useless, get over here and help me serve dinner."

I mumbled under my breath, "_Goddamnstupidsonofa…_"

"What was that?" He asked, gritting his teeth.

"Sure, I'll help." I said, and walked over to help him.

The stew was cooked in a huge metal pot (don't know where that came from). It was a light yellow color with chunks of stuff in it.

It smelled good. Too bad it was made by an asshole like Sanji.

I used the ladle to scoop the stew into several bowls and gave them to Chopper to hand out.

I also checked up on the Sky Knight, who was still resting on his blanket on a huge flat tree root, with his bird watching over him.

Nami was reviewing what we had found out so far.

When Luffy came up to me and handed me a empty bowl, after I served him his scoop, he smiled.

"Keep the ladle handy," he said with a grin, "I'll be back for more after I…"

-BANG-

Sanji hit him in the head with the pot top.

"SANJI! PAY ATTENTION!" Nami shouted.

"I was! But he was interrupting you!" Sanji whined.

"I did nothing!" I shouted.

Nami went back to restating what we knew: The city of gold didn't sink, it was shot into the air by the Knock-Up Stream like we did.

"Do you really think a whole island could have done that?" Chopper asked.

"Well, it's the only thing that makes sense." Nami said. "Cricket said that every time this phenomenon occurs it's in a different location."

"Yeah, that explosion was enormous." Usopp said, setting his bowl down. "I'm not surprised it lifted an island."

"It's just…so hard to believe that the forest we're sitting in is the same forest we saw back on Jaya." Zoro said, looking at the enormous trees.

Robin believe that because the composition up here is so different than down bellow, it accelerates the growth rate of everything. Trees, animals, etc.

Or something like that. I usually don't know all that stuff she talks about. I just sat there and started slurping up my tasty stew.

Chopper said that when he saw the size of those South Birds that saved him, he just couldn't believe it.

Sanji sat down and threw Zoro a bowl.

"Say, why did those South Birds go to such great lengths to save you guys?"

Chopper seemed confused, "Umm…I don't know…but when they saw him, they referred to the Sky Knight as…God."

-PFFFFFFFFFT-

I almost choked on a heart-shaped carrot (nice touch Sanji).

Everyone else pretty much had the same reaction.

"HE'S GOD?" Luffy shouted with food in his mouth and pointed to the knight. "SO IF WE BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THIS GUY THEN OUT JOB HERE IS DONE?"

"No genius! How'd ja get that idea?" Usopp shouted at him.

Nami promptly told them both to shut up.

"Now, does anyone recall what Noland's log said about the city of gold?" Nami asked us.

"OH OH! I do!" Luffy shouted. "It's…a city of gold!"

"Just shut up Luffy." I told him.

"The last thing he wrote in the log book before he died was something odd." Robin said. "It's something I can't figure out, even after seeing this island. It says the city of gold is in the skull's right eye."

"That's it." Nami said.

Nami then took out both maps we had; the one of Skypiea we found on the ship plus the one Robin got of Jaya.

By arranging them in a certain way, the two land formations overlapping each other become the shape of…a skull.

Nami smiled. "Well?"

"It's a skull!" Luffy shouted in delight.

"Way to go Nami!" Sanji cheered.

"Ok." Usopp said, not fully convinced. "But _where_ in the skull's right eye?"

Nami pointed to the only structure in the right eye of the land skull, a big square looking brick thing that almost took up half of the eye.

"HIDDEN TREASUUUUUUUUUUURE!" Luffy shouted.

"The only thing left to do is to make our way to the skull's eye." Nami told us.

She also said that since the ship will need to be guarded, we'll split up into two groups tomorrow.

"This is our time." She said with determination. "On the other side of this island lies more gold then we've even dreamed."

* * *

After dinner, we started to clean up from dinner time. I was washing all the plates in some cloud water they scooped up in a bucket from the river.

I didn't mind.

"Let's put out the fires if we don't need them." Robin suggested to Luffy. "It's beginning to get late you guys. We don't want to announce our location to our enemies."

Luffy and Usopp looked at her and sneered.

"What a rookie move…" Luffy said all smug like. "You hear that Usopp, she wants to douse the fire, _what are we gonna do_?"

This made Robin confused.

"I don't know…" Usopp said," It's not really her fault though. She's never been exposed to this kind of living before. We should be tolerant."

"What are you two saying?" She said, still mighty confused.

Luffy and Usopp kept the tough guy act until…

-SPLASH-

I dumped the dirty cloud water on the campfire.

"All done." I said. "And took out two birds with one stone as well!"

Luffy and Usopp looked broken by what I did.

They fell to there knees and pounded their fist on the ground crying, "You're always supposed to have a campfire when you camp! That's what makes it campiiiiiiiiing!"

-KICK-

"KNOCK IT OFF KNUCKLE HEADS!" I shouted. "Now help with these clean dishes!"

They wouldn't let up.

"You seemed to have broken them." Robin said amusingly.

I shrugged. "Happens every Thursday."

"Hey Luffy!" Zoro shouted.

He and Sanji just got back from collecting a log cabin's worth of logs.

"Is this enough wood for your fire?" He asked.

Nami was furious. "Can you idiots think for one second?"

"Don't worry." Sanji said, picking up a stick. "Wild animals are afraid of fire!"

He lit the branch.

"They'll stay away!" He grinned.

Coincidentally, a huge amount of shadowy monsters were gathering right behind him as he said that.

Then Nami started crying.

They stepped out to reveal Timberwolves.

They had whiter fur and yellow eyes.

You could tell who the alpha was, seeing he had a scar over one eye.

It barked something at us.

Chopper translated. "_You jerks are being so loud that we can't even hunt! Why don't you dumbass humans go to hell and sleep already!_"

Luffy and Sanji got mad at Chopper for saying that.

"_You rotten two-leggers better not be trying to muscle in on what doesn't belong to you!_"

"No, were not like that." Chopper said normally. "We were brought here against our will."

"_This is our forest! You think you can just come in and start building fires!_"

"Sorry." Chopper said normally again.

The whole thing was really weird to say the least, if not funny.

"_EVERYTHING BELONGS TO US! THE LAND, THE TREES, THE AIR…_"

-BANG-

Nami whacked it in the head.

"Nothing's keeping me from that treasure!" She said with determination.

The rest of the pack started growling, ready to strike.

The alpha barked loudly.

The others stopped growling.

"_Back down boys. We got the numbers but they got the raw power. It's not worth it._"

The wolf rubbed it's head.

"_Girl, you pack one mean punch there._"

We were all stunned.

"So that's what a happy ending looks like." Usopp said.

"I guess so." Zoro concluded.

"Then…I have an idea!" Luffy said, all wide eyed and eager. "CAMPFIRE!"

* * *

What happened the next hour was…I mean it was…unbelievably weird.

We got the fire going in a split second and then…the wolves started dancing with us.

I mean they were dancing on two legs and…SINGING!

Oh, and they just also _had_ to have had the ability to make wine out of…nothing!

Oh it was crazy…

…CRAZY FUCKIN AWESOME!

Everyone dancing and running around the bon fire, drinking magic wolf wine, it was awesome.

I guess you can say...Michael Blake got nothing on me?

OHOHOHO! BURN!

…

…Yeah I actually haven't read that book. I just know it's titled "Dances with Wolves."

...Get it? Michael Blake was...the author of...Dances with Wolves!

...Nevermind.

I also broke out my guitar and started playing just so those guys could have something to dance to.

Nothing specific, just some made up notes I thought of on the top of my head.

The whole atmosphere of these parties always filled me with happiness, made me forget all the terrible shit that went wrong in my life. When it's party time, nothing else matters but the party.

I stopped playing when I noticed Gan Fall had woken up and was talking to a few of the others.

I walked up to the area they were talking, a little ways away from the party.

"...Island cloud can support plant life, but it cannot generate it's own. Greenery and soil are foreign things to our life here." He said.

He then scooped a hand full of dirt.

"Our people have our own name for this. It's Vearth."

He let it fall from his hands.

"Those who live among the clouds hold it sacred. It's what they all desire."

He sighed and looked at the fire deeply.

"Now don't let me disrupt you're festivities." He said.

He stood up and began to walk off.

"You all have a big day tomorrow, get some rest."

And with that, he walked back over to his sleeping pad.

* * *

While he did say we should get some rest…no one really cared.

We kept partying and partying until we were so tired we passed out.

_Partying, partying, YEAH!_

…

I have no idea where that came from…

Sounds like something you'd here in some shitty pop song or something.

Anyways, I was trying to get some shut eye until…

"Screaver…" I could hear Usopp whine, "Could you help me with something?"

I opened one eye. "What do ya want?"

"Could you come with me so I don't have to go to the bathroom by my self?" He said.

I closed my eye. "Nope."

"Oh come on Screaver please! Be a pal would ya?"

"_Be a pal?_ I wouldn't let any of my _pals_ take a piss with me! Go by yourself!"

"But it's dark out there!" He persisted.

"Then hold it until the sun comes up."

"I can't wait that long! PLEASE!" He started screaming.

I sighed and sat up.

"You owe me for this." I said.

Usopp grabbed a cloth and we quietly walked through the tall trees until we got to the Cliffside of the lake.

But what was weird was we could hear a strange sound.

-CLONK- -CLONK-

Sound like someone knocking on wood.

_Hehe…knock on wood._

"You hear that noise?" Usopp asked me, very sheepishly.

"Sounds like it's coming from the alter."

We hid behind one of the trees and peered over the side to see the alter.

The alter was shrouded in mist, but we could still see the Going Merry's figure.

And of course there was that sound, echoing from the alter.

-CLONK- -CLONK-

Usopp looked closer and closer to see what that sound was.

"I think, I think there's someone over there!" He said.

"Are they trying to hurt the Merry?" I asked.

"I'm not sure." He said.

I turned on my scope vision and started to zoom in.

Sure enough, there was indeed a figure right below the Merry.

From what I could see, it seemed to be hitting a mallet on our ship.

-CLONK- -CLONK-

Usopp was getting even more spooked out.

Then the figure stopped.

Then it turned to us.

"_HUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_"

Usopp shrieked like a little girl.

Hell I would too if I didn't have any balls.

Ok ok…that was harsh.

But the figure…HE HAD NO FACE!

His head had nothing but a big smiling mouth.

At least what I could see.

-THUD-

And that was the sound of Usopp falling to the ground unconscious.

_Michael…isn't that…_

_I forget the actual term._ Michael said. _But I think it's some spiritual form of the Going Merry._

I cracked my neck and smiled.

_Um…what are you doing?_ Michael asked.

_I'm gonna go have a talk with our ship._

I took off my shirt and threw it over Usopp.

"Don't wanna get that wet."

As soon as I was about to jump in, something surfaced.

-UUUUURP-

It was Damien the Skyfish.

"Seriously, you've clearly been following me." I said, crossing my arms.

It gurgled a little.

"Can ya help me Damien?" I asked him.

* * *

Now I suppose you're wondering: Screaver, you awesome guy you, why on Earth would you want to mess with the cosmos and speak to the spirit of your own ship?

One answer…I'm Screaver D. Bartel!

I don't know why. Maybe to find out a few things about the Going Merry, maybe to pass the time since I wasn't really sleepy, doesn't really matter to me.

The point was, I was going to do it.

Damien swam me over to the stairway of the alter, the other sky shark keeping their distance of him.

_You know Screaver, why is it that these sky sharks are ignoring if not avoid Damien while the ones who were trying to eat you before didn't?_ Michael asked.

_Maybe they think he now can fart burst of energy out of his butt and now want to avoid him. Word might travel quickly in the skyfish community._

…_That makes no sense._ He complained.

_Who cares?_

Damien stopped and let me jump off and onto the stairs.

I waved him good bye and he sunk back into the lake.

I turned and slowly ascended the stairway, the sound of the mallet echoing over my steps.

-CLONK- -CLONK-

I finally reached the top, and pat the Going Merry's hull, looking up at it's figure head.

I looked over the side and saw the figure, still pounding the hull.

I took a step towards it.

It stopped and turned to me.

It gave the same face it did before.

I flinched and then froze.

We held this pose for a few minutes.

Then it returned to work.

"Um…hello?" I said.

It looked at me again, with that big smile of its, and waved at me.

I waved back.

Then it returned to work.

"Um…who are you?"

It didn't respond.

Now that I looked at it, I could see it wasn't the blank image I thought it was.

It was wearing some sort of loose robe, no shoes on it's feet, and possibly some kind of cap on it's head.

It wasn't even that tall really, maybe five feet.

"Excuse me. I know you're kind of busy and all, but I was wondering…"

It turned to me again and put its finger to it's mouth.

-SHHHHHHHHH-

If it was anything else I would have gotten angry, but then it gestured me over to the side.

I did as it wanted, and was standing next to it.

_I suppose you're head is…filled with questions Screaver. Who am I… why am I here._ A soft female voice said in my head.

_Michael?_

_Not me Screaver. It must communicate telepathically._ Michael said in his deeper voice.

_But I don't want you to worry, everything is fine._ The voice said.

"Is that…are you the Going Merry?" I said aloud.

_You're only…half correct Screaver._ The voice said.

I was confused. "How so?"

_While yes I am a part of the Merry's soul…I am not the true Going Merry._

I was even more confused. "I don't get it."

_I am what humans have called a...__Klabautermann, a water spirit who lends…a helping hand to sailors in need. Or at least that is…what you all believe._

"If what we humans believe is wrong, then what are you guys?"

_Do don't believe we resent you for thinking that. You see __Klabautermann are created…from when a crew's love for a ship is so strong, the ship…takes a life of its own. If you would believe so then…I am a representation of your love for me._

"I thought you said you weren't exactly the Going Merry, only something created by it."

Through out the whole conversation, the figure was moving up and down, fixing the ship using materials that seemed to appear out of nowhere.

_I am a part of the Merry's soul…we are connected as one. I am the Merry…but not completely the Merry._

This was giving me a headache, thinking so much.

"So…Merry…why are you here? You know we would fix the ship by ourselves."

The figure climbed up to the ship, I followed.

_I just believed…you all needed a hand in fixing the ship. You all have a big fight…you shouldn't waste all your energy…trying to fix me up._

I noticed that when the figure spoke it kept taking small pauses between words, like it was out of breath or something.

"Hey…you ok?"

_I'm just fine…just want to make sure…_

The figure used one hand to lift the broken mast up and another to start pounding in something.

…_you all get…just a little farther._

The mast began to tip.

I ran over to the other side and held it up straight.

"Not just a little farther. We'll made it all the way." I said smiling. "To the end of the Grand Line."

The face wasn't smiling anymore.

_You shouldn't waste you're strength…_

"I want to help!" I shouted. "Nobody should have to do this alone."

The figure made a small smile.

_You're all so nice to me…treat me so well…_

I smiled. "You're our ship Merry! Why wouldn't we?"

Then the figure let go of the mast, leaving me alone to hold it.

"What are you doing Merry?"

It walked over towards me and gave that big smile.

_You need to get you're rest…leave the work to me…_

It raised the mallet in it's hand.

"Wait! Hang on a…"

_Good night Screaver…sweet dreams…_

-**CLONK**-


	87. Chapter 87

How It All Started

Plans For Jungle Exploration

Believe it or not, I kind of understood why that klabu…kalla…you know let's just call it Merry anyways.

I actually kind of understood what Merry did that to me. She didn't want me to waste my time and strength doing something she could do herself.

I guess…our ship has come to realize that her crew has very important job to do.

Still…OW! It pissed me off that I couldn't help her. I could have done something. She didn't have to go to the trouble of fixing the ship AND knocking me out.

Anyways, instead of having a _sweet dream_ like Merry said, I had another recollection of my past.

It was a very distant one at that; when I was about ten years old.

I was sitting in the passenger seat. Even though I wasn't technically old enough, I was big enough at that age to not need a booster chair.

My mom was driving, wearing grubby clothes.

A little about my mom: She's a short pudgy woman with long black hair that is filled with gray. She's got a lot of wrinkles and dark rings around her eyes. But her eyes were these piercing venomous green eyes that looked rather fierce when she got angry.

Which seeing as how I was a constant screw up, happened constantly.

She can be very charismatic and loves to talk to people. She's one of _those _moms. But not so that she tries to be buddy-buddy with everyone and their mother. If she don't like somebody, she'll do her best to avoid them.

And if she does run across them, she follows her #1 rule.

_Smile for how much you hate them!_

You know, once upon a time my mom was a wealthy woman; part of some upper class family that lived in some rich neighborhood with the stinkin' big ass mansions.

You see, my mom and my dad went to the same college, but in different ways. My mom had her money to get her into the place. But my dad was able to put himself through with perfect grades, several scholarships and paid out of pocket to get there.

Seeing as how I'm their son, I have no clue how they ever could have…ya know…got together and all. But it happened, by God it happened, and my mom's family wasn't too happy 'bout that.

I wouldn't say her family disowned her, nothing so dramatic. Let's just say…they don't write as much as they should. They kind of…cut her off.

As I remember it, she didn't really care about the money. But she still work her hardest to try and contribute money to the family, although she never really made that much.

In fact, she stays in touch with several of her siblings, but when they come over, they usually look down at me, and my dad, with snobbishness.

I really could care less about those money bags-o-shit: what with her computer science brother who's creating AI programs for your fucking toaster, or her sister whose neck deep in credit debt, their all snobbish assholes and deserve no sympathy from Screaver Bartel!

Now it kinda makes sense about the whole Saquiss thing.

Where was I? Oh yeah…kinda got off topic.

We were riding in the car, me in the passenger seat, not knowing where I was going.

"Mom…where we going again?" I asked her.

She turned slightly towards me. "I told you Screaver, it's a surprise."

"NO YOU DIDN'T! You just told me to get in the f-ing car!"

-WHACK-

She hit me upside the head.

"Your ten years old! Don't say those kind of words!"

"But I didn't..."

"You know what I mean Screaver." My mom complained.

I rubbed my head.

We continued to drive in silence until I tried to scratch my nose.

-WHACK-

"Picking your nose is disgusting behavior." My mom said again.

"The inside of my nose was itchy!" I shouted.

"Sure Screaver." She said, giving me a slight smile.

Before long we pulled into this sort of plaza, like those stores that seem to all be inside one building.

She parked in front of one of those smaller ones, with the name Dann's Boxing & Fight Club.

"Dann's…Boxin an…Fight Club?" I read a loud.

"Here we are, just like Gretchen said." My mom explained to me as she turned off the ignition.

Gretchen was one of my mom's friends, though she's told me she never really cared about my mom.

"What do ya mean?"

"Well Screaver," my mom said as she picked up her purse, "do you remember what happened with Jonathan Baxter?"

I thought for a moment, then I shook my head and said real sly like, "Noooooo."

I remembered Jonathan. An ADHD asshole kid who like to peg people with rocks and acorns and…anything else he can find on the ground. He like hitting people with those things, but never got caught by the teachers at recess.

He made the mistake of pegging me in the head with two of them.

So, obviously, I _had_ to chase him, knock him down a hill and break his nose.

Obviously.

I mom frowned. "Don't give me that bull Screaver. I understand that you have a lot of pent up anger about other kids, which is why I dropped the whole Baxter thing pretty quickly. But you can't get into trouble like that again. Which is why…"

She opened the car door and smiled. "…I've taken the liberty to sign you up for boxing lessons."

I frowned. "Boxing? Isn't that _that_ stuff dad said is fake and a waste of time and money."

My mom rolled her eyes. "I think he mean wrestling Screaver."

"Is that the same?"

"Just get out of the car Screaver." My mom sighed.

I thought for a moment as I slid out the car. "Will I get to hit people?"

"Absolutely! And you won't even get put in time out for it. As long as you follow the rules." My mom said.

"Punching has rules now?"

And she led me through the door.

The inside seemed rather small: gray walls with blue pads around them, a row of four tall old looking sand bags, and once area right behind the counter.

Of course, at that age, I had no clue what any of that meant.

My mom took my hand and we went to the front counter.

"Hello there!" My mom said giving the receptionist a big smile. "I'm Mrs. Bartel, I do believe I called here about three days ago looking to sign my boy…"

She gestured to me, still holding my arm, me not looking at her.

"…up for boxing lessons." She finished.

She nudged me so that I would look forward.

"My son has a lot of energy, and is just _dying_ to get started. Isn't that right Screaver?"

I nodded, like every ten year old should do when there mom is signing them up for crap they don't care about.

I know my mom had good intentions, it wasn't like she was forcing me into some sort of boot camp (yet.)

The receptionist was a young woman with short brown hair, in sweat clothes.

"You'll have to talk with Dann. He'll be here in a moment."

She spun around and turned to a door that was next to the arena.

"DANN! WE GOT POTENTIAL MEMBERS!" She screamed.

"_WHAT THE HELL YA YELLING FOR STACY? SIGN THEM UP AND GET THEM FIT FOR GLOVES!_" A male voice shouted even louder from the door.

"THEY AIN'T MEMBERS YET IDIOT! YOU HAVE TO CONFIRM IT!" She screamed even louder.

"_WHAT KINDA BULL SHIT IS THAT? WHO TOLD YOU THAT CRAP?"_

"IT'S ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT MAKE THE STUPID RULE UP!"

-silence-

She turned back around and half heartedly said, "He'll be right along."

My eyes were wide open.

My mom, however, was starting to back away.

"Maybe we caught you all in a bad time…perhaps we could come back in…"

-BAM-

The door slammed open. "NONSENSE!"

Though the door came a huge, extremely tanned white guy with a bald head and a full beard and a torn t shirt with some logo on it.

He seemed to be like 6'10, he was walking over towards us in strides with a big smile on his face.

"Welcome you our humble little club." He said as nice as he could. "I'm Sam. Or Sammy. But most people call me Dann."

He held out his huge meaty hand to my mom.

My mom didn't falter. "Glad to meetcha! I'm Mrs. Bartel, we spoke on the phone…"

"OH YES! That's correct!" He said loudly and shook her hand. "And this little guy must be Screaver."

I frowned. "HEY! I AIN'T LITTLE! You ain't that big!"

Dann just laughed. "He's got spunk."

I was still frowning.

"Now Mrs. Bartel…"

"Oh please, call me Kathy." My mom said.

"_Kathy._" He corrected. "How long would you both like to work here for? A few months? A full membership?"

"Oh no no no! Not for me! It's for my boy here."

She put her arms on my shoulders.

"Oh yes yes! How silly of me." Dann said and gave a little chuckle. "So, how long will _he_ be training here?"

"Oh I don't know…what are you're plans?" My mom said.

The whole conversation was boring the hell out of me, until Dann finally said, "You know what, step into my office and we'll discuss this matter in detail."

My mom told me to stay with Stacy, and not to break anything while she was gone.

I sat in a chair next to the front desk.

As soon as my mom walked into the room, Stacy said to me, "So what are you _really_ here for?"

I looked at her confused-like.

"I can tell when someone's willing to do something, and you aren't _dying_ to do anything here. You have any idea?"

I shrugged and said sheepishly, "I…kinda…broke a kid's nose for…hitting me with…acorns."

She paused for a moment.

Then she laughed out loud.

"That's hilarious!"

My brow furrowed.

"I mean for the other guy not you."

I nodded and started feeling more comfortable.

We waited for about ten minutes until my mom and Dann came back to the front.

"Well I guess that settles everything." My mom said.

"Yes mam! He can start today!" Dann said.

She turned to me and rubbed my head. "Don't worry Screaver, I'll pick you up in an hour or two. You'll be fine."

She nodded and gave the Dann a big smile, then hurried out the door.

Dann waved back at her until she drove off.

Then he let out a huge sigh.

"So, you're name is Screaver?" He said to me.

I nodded.

He smiled. "Weird name."

"So is Dann when your name's Sam." I said.

He laughed. "You seem like a smart kid. Let's cut the crap then. Why did your ma _really_…"

"He broke another kid's nose for some reason." Stacy said while reading a magazine. "Kids being kids."

I was just standing there, straight up and shaking, uneasy about where my mom had just forced me to be.

Dann raised an eye. "I ain't scarring you or anything right?"

I shook my head.

"Now I'm gonna be completely honest with'ja. That whole little act I gave to ya ma, complete bull shit. A little secret I'm gonna give ya."

"You…ain't the only one." I told him.

He laughed again. "I could tell with one look of ya you realized what I was doin'. You seem pretty sharp."

He walked behind the desk and opened some sort of door.

Then he pulled out a bottle of Coke, revealing there to be a mini fridge behind there.

"Now before we get anywhere, I must ask ya one thing: what do ya want to do?"

I didn't say anything, mostly because I didn't know what to say.

"Let me rephrase that: What do you _really_ wanna do here? I could tell you've been practically forced here against your will, and I won't reject yer company or anything, but if you really have no interest of being here then it's cool with me."

He sat down in one of the guess chairs.

"Honestly I don't know how we've been in business for so long. We only have a few people who come here regularly, never get any new business. Not that we'll croak without yer mama's money. I can make something up to get you out of this. But…only if you really want to."

I was baffled by this man. He was so willing and forth coming to do everything to help me, despite it meaning it would possibly hurt his buisness. Course I didn't realize that at the time.

"Don't get to hasty Sammy. You still gotta pay me!" Stacy reminded him.

"Ah close yer trap girl. You get paid either way." He said to her.

She shrugged again and went back to reading her magazine.

Dann then turned back to me and stared intently.

"So…how about it? What's your decision?"

At that age I really couldn't remember what I was thinking. Maybe I weighed the pros and cons of either being away from the house or possibly getting crippled for life. Maybe I was still acting upon my mother's wishes and did not want to disobey her.

But if I had a guess as to what it was, I'd put money on the answer…

_He has a cool beard._

"I wanna stay!" I said.

Coach nodded his head and took a long gulp of his Coke.

Then he slammed it down on the desk.

"**WHATCHA STANDING AROUND FOR THEN? GET YOU'RE ASS MOVING!**"

* * *

-THUMP-

My body was shaken awake with a lunging feeling.

-BAM-

Then _really_ awoken with my head banking against something wooden.

I didn't even yell, I had just gotten up.

_What the…_

-CLONK-

I tried to scratch my head, but something wooden in my hand got in the way.

"Ok, now I'm pissed. WHAT THE FUCK!"

In my hand was a wooden mallet.

I leaned over the side to see the Merry was back in the water…cloud…stuff.

The Crow was in front of it, Usopp at the helm with Chopper tied to a pole like a fishing pole.

_Ok…weird…_

"HEEEEEEEY!" I heard Luffy shout. "SCREAVER! THANKS A BUNCH FOR FIXING THE SHIP!"

…_What?_

I looked back to the alter to see the rest of the crew standing on the steps.

"What you blabbin' about Luffy? I did what now?" I shouted, waving my arm at him.

I _still _didn't even realize I had the mallet in my hand.

"YEAH! SCREAVER'S FIXIN THE SHIP AGAIN! WHOOOO!" Luffy cheered.

I grumbled, looking at the mallet.

It was just a plain wooden mallet, kind of worn out but still usable.

_Isn't that Merry's mallet?_ Michael asked.

_Probably, maybe she gave it to me after she was done._

The ship looked all patched up and ready to go: The mast was back in place, the boards had been replaced with metal patches, even the flying gear had been taken off.

She must have been up all night!

* * *

The crew got onto the ship, via Crow, and began thanking me for fixing the ship.

"You must have been up all night fixing her up!" Luffy said all spunky like.

"Saved us plenty of time." Zoro said.

I didn't say anything, just starting to look more and more confused.

"You guys must be mistaken cause I didn't…"

Nami hugged me.

"…spend all night fixing up this boat just to hear you guys praise me! Hehehehe…"

"Thanks Screaver!" She said all cute like.

Yeah yeah, I'm an asshole. Big fuckin' surprise.

Only Sanji, Robin, and especially Usopp were not smiling.

"I still can't believe it!" Usopp exclaimed. "You were walking with me last night! You couldn't have done all that yourself!"

"You were probably sleepwalking." Zoro said in disgust. "Which is why we found you asleep face down in mud this morning."

"WHOA! You can sleep walk Usopp?" Luffy said.

Usopp frowned some more.

"Besides, he was the only one here, with tools in his hand. Who else could it have been?" Zoro defended me.

"Ok." I said, finally cutting the crap. "You guys must be mistaken, I mean, yeah, I was here last night and I did put the mast up but I don't recall ever nailing anything down of nothing!"

They seemed more confused than I was.

"Maybe you were sleepwalking too." Chopper said curiously.

"That settles it!" Luffy announced. "Screaver's sleepwalks are way cooler than Usopp's sleepwalks."

"HEY!" Usopp argued.

I scratched my chest and realized I didn't have a shirt on.

"Has anybody seen my shirt?" I said, looking around the deck.

Sanji threw one in my face.

"Thanks." I said unthankfully.

"I still don't believe you did all this by yourself Screaver." He said, raising his eyebrow. "But if you did…you sure did a lousy job."

"Oh fuck you! Ya ungrateful asshole!" I said, getting angry.

I put on the blue flowered shirt and frowned even more.

"Suits you perfectly." Sanji said with a huff, walking back up the steps.

I was about ten seconds away from beating the living shit out of that asshole.

I was quickly stomping closer and closer to him, then I passed Robin.

"You sure are full of surprises Mr. Bartel." She said.

I halted.

"Would you like to know my hypothesis on who fixed this ship?" She queried.

I turned to her, completely serious.

"No. Not at all. In fact it might just be something you should keep to yourself." I said to her.

She sighed and turned around. "Very well."

* * *

We gathered around Nami's map of the area.

"The exploration team will be taking this route." She pointed out with her pencil. "Moving south. There should be some old ruins near the skull's right eye. Keep an eye out for enemies and bring back that gold!"

Typical Nami: telling everyone to stop at nothing to get money and not risking to go out herself.

As you would expect it, I was on the exploration team.

The others would remain on the boat and taking down the stream, out of the forest and hopefully to the beach of the ruins.

The teams consisted of Nami, Sanji, and Usopp on the boat and the rest of us exploring.

Why this mix up I do not know.

I argued the teams should be equal but Nami said that all our strongest fighters should be out there to counter the half-a dozen priests out there.

"Oh, I see. That's why Sanji's on the boat!" I said.

"No Shithead." He said. "It's because Nami needs a strong knight to protect her!"

"You're so full of shit." I snarled.

"Have fun in the forest with Zoro." He said back waving his fingers good bye.

"Yeah, and Robin!" I said.

He started steaming.

"Knock it off you two." Zoro groaned.

"But out Mosshead!" Sanji shouted.

"The hell is wrong with you ya whinny-ass baby!" I shouted at Sanji.

"You're fucking face is my problem!" He shouted back.

He was really getting on my nerves. What was his problem?

"There is no reason you need to be so hostile man. Seriously, cut it out!"

He chewed his cigarette some more and blew off some smoke.

_Maybe he's being so hostile because he's becoming aware of you're thing with Nami?_ Michael said.

_I have a thing? We've only kissed like once._

_You were holding hands and having a splash fight and laughing like a beach couple._ He said.

…_Still don't see your point._


	88. Chapter 88

**Hey people, KM13 here with an early update to the story.**

**I'm doing this a little early because I'm going out of state for a few days, and didn't want to miss this week's update. Enjoy.**

* * *

The Journey Has Begun!

Giant Reptiles, Avatars, and Infinite Swords?

We loaded up our backpacks, filled our canteens, and Usopp drove us to the shore in the Crow.

I gave one last wave at the ship and walked towards the forest.

_You think Nami will be alright?_

_Sanji's with her._ Michael said._ And despite being an idiot he won't let anything bad happened to her._

_Doesn't really make me feel better._

The tree's were enormous, took about several minutes just to jump root to root and get past one tree.

Zoro was walking in a complete different direction as everyone else, and Luffy was walking in the complete opposite direction of both Zoro and the rest of us.

"HEY ZORO! Were supposed to be going west!" Luffy shouted.

"No Luffy! We're going towards the skull's right eye so we go right!" Zoro shouted back.

-FACE PALM-

"IT'S SOUTH YOU NUMBSKULLS! WE GO SOUTH!" I screamed.

* * *

Soon after that episode, we started going on the right path again.

The only important events that happened was that Luffy had found a stick and began waving it, humming an annoying tune.

"You know, I thought this forest would be scarier." Chopper said. "But so far, it's been nice and peaceful!"

_Jinx._

They wouldn't stop talking about how this forest was boring, and there was no danger and…

I heard a sound like scrapping against the trees.

-SSSSSSSSS-

"You guys owe me a soda." I said.

"What?" Chopper said.

Behind us, this huge tunnel like tube thing was moving around the trees. It was about three times thicker than any of the trees.

"You hear that?" Zoro said.

The tube was blue-green, with blue stripes on it.

-RUMBLE-

Then whatever was at the end of it rose up from in front of us.

-ROOOOOOAR-

It was, _surprisingly_, the head of a humongous, fanged, hissing jungle snake.

Chopper cried in fear.

"RUN AWAY IT'S A GIANT SNAKE!" Luffy yelled with a big smile on his face.

We all started booking it in the other direction as the snake sped behind us like a humongous subway.

It's fangs were dripping with sizzling purple drool, hissing and glaring at us with big yellow eyes.

This smake was really weird compared to other snakes...you know, besides being larger than a train. It had this long trail of white hair down it's sides, even whiskers on it's face.

"Now this is more like it!" I shouted.

"it's enormous!" Robin gasped. "I wonder if it's another result of the environment here?"

Zoro stopped and faced it.

"Alright Catfish face!" He shouted in annoyance. "Time to get filleted!"

-GUAAAAAAH-

Zoro leaped out of the way as it tried to swallow us all whole.

Luffy grabbed Chopper and bounced up as Robin used her flower power to make a stairway up a tree made out of legs.

Yeah…I don't get it either.

As for me…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

_SCREAVER! JUMP!_

-KABOOM-

Last second I launched myself out of the way.

-BOOM-

The snake's mouth wrapped over halfway around the trunk of one of those colossal trees.

-CRUNCH-

It bit hard, it's mouth producing a lot of purple steam.

_Acid spit. Of course it has acid spit._

When it let go, half it the tree had been melted through.

"HUAAH! ACID!" Chopper shrieked.

"Uh…" Zoro said in shock. "Change of plan. We run away."

"Sound's good." Robin agreed.

"No objection." I said, my voice cracking.

"YEAH! HAHAHA!" Luffy said, laughing in either excitement or fear.

-CRACK-

The tree began crashing down as the snake turned to glare at us.

"DON'T LET THAT VENOM TOUCH YOU!" Zoro screamed. "IT'S DEATH!"

Luffy started swinging around, using his rubber arm like a vine, taunting the snake.

"HEY MR. SNAKE! OVER HERE! FOLLOW ME! BETTER HURRY UP! YOUR DINNER'S GETTING AWAY!"

The snake instead stopped and looked at Robin on a rather small branch.

"HEY ROBIN! HEAD'S UP!" I yelled, gripping onto another branch mid jump.

Before it could gobble up that whole branch, Robin leaped.

"Ha! Nice try." She taunted.

She made a rope of hands to let her swing safely away.

"THAT WAS AWESOME ROBIN!" Chopper cheered.

Then the snake looked at him.

"HUAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Chopper ran off in fear.

-KABOOM-

I fired a shot in the back of it's head.

It turned around, unaffected.

"HEY YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! TRY AND GET A LOAD OF THIS!"

-GUAAAAAAAAH-

It charged towards my tree, but I jumped over it.

"HERE'S MY…"

I charged my gun.

"MEGA…"

I aimed at the back of it's head.

"…BAZOOKA!"

-KABOOM-

It blast sent its head crashing into the tree.

"HA! EAT THAT SHITHEAD!"

I landed on its long snaky back and quickly ran downward.

-SLIP-

It's back however was slimy, and it was still shifting to and fro. So I slipped off.

-THUD-

"Ow."

The snake pulled its head out of the tree, which was now smoking and melting due to its venom.

_Jesus! How the hell do we beat this damn thing?_

_We don't! We need to run away!_ Michael said.

-GUAAAAAAAH-

"HERE MR. WHISKERS!" Luffy yelled at it.

Well, like Michael said, all we could do was…

"RUN LIKE A LITTLE BITCH!"

* * *

Well in the confusion of escaping the snake, we all got separated from another.

"LUFFY! CHOPPER! ZORO! HELL EVEN ROBIN! ANYBODY?"

No answer. I was lost.

I kicked a rock in frustration.

"Well, what the hell do I do know?"

_Go South. No matter what happens we need to meet up with them._ Michael said.

"Gotch'ya. I'll go South!"

I turned around and stopped.

"Which way is South?"

A finger pointed past my face.

"That way."

It was Michael, scaring the shit out of me, knocking me to my ass.

"The hell man? Scared the crap out of me!" I yelled in anger.

"Oh big deal." He said, looking around the forest. "No one's around, thought I could pop in for a visit."

He stretched his arms.

"You know, despite all the vacant room in there, your head does get cramped sometimes." He groaned.

"Oh go fuck yourself." I cursed, swatting at a mosquito.

I started walking South, Michael following me.

I looked behind me, he was still following, looking around with curiosity.

"Uh, Michael…" I started.

"Hmm?" he hummed.

"Shouldn't you…you know…go back?" I said.

He lowered his sunglasses and raised an eyebrow. "Why would I do that?"

I groaned. "I can't let anyone else finding you out!"

"Oh really? And why is that?" He said, crossing his arms.

"Because…I can't let anybody finding out my secret! You know that! Besides, Robin's already on to you, and then she's gonna want answers!"

"Screaver." He stopped me. "It doesn't matter. If they eventually find me out, I'll just make up something. We'll both make up something. No one will have to find out that you're…"

I put my hand over his mouth.

"Remember…Eneru's listening." I whispered.

He pushed my hand away rudely and spit into the ground.

"You should really wash those things! They taste like…phlegm and fish guts." He shook his head.

I sniffed my hands and coughed from the stench.

"Yeah…you're right."

* * *

We had been walking along for a while, when Michael suddenly stopped.

"Hey, why you stop?" I asked.

He looked to the sky.

"Something wrong?"

"Depends on your own personal opinion." He said.

He nodded.

"One of the priests just fell, in one hit." He said.

My eyes widened. "What? One hit? Really?"

He nodded again.

"Who? Luffy? Zoro?"

He shook his head. "You think I know? I only know when someone's been taken out."

"I didn't even think you could do that!"

He shrugged. "Well, in the first twenty minutes we've been out here, already one priests has been beaten. This battle is moving quickly." He commented.

"Only five more to go I guess." I said.

-BAAAAAAAAH-

"Is that a goat?" I said in confusion.

-WHOOSH-

Something tried to swipe at me.

-BAM-

My leg instinctively kicked upward and connected.

-_BLEEEEEAH_-

More pained bleating until whatever I hit rammed into a tree.

"Well that's the strangest goat I've ever seen."

It was a bald man in a white robe, with two horns and long floppy ears.

"Aren't these guys like Eneru's underlings' underlings?" I asked Michael.

"Yes…Divine Squadron I believe?" Michael guessed.

Goat-men; that's what I'm gonna call them.

-BAAAAAAAH-

"HAAAAAA!"

Two goat-men and two Indian looking guys jumped out ready to fight one another.

"OH COME OOOOON!"

-KABOOM- -KABOOM-

Well, despite being two vs. two vs. one, I still came out on top.

"Damn, better get moving…"

-CRACK-

Another goat-man was behind me, palm extended, but he was halted with a pained look on his face.

Michael's hand was clasped right on his neck, finger's digging into him.

-THUD-

He brushed his hands together.

"You're welcome." He said.

* * *

I was already wanting to get out of this stupid forest. Nothing but goat people and injuns and giant snakes and stupid trees and...

Ok I'm just rambling now.

It was a hot and humid forest. Before I even knew it my canteen was half empty and I still had a long way to go.

"Hey." Michael said, pointing in another direction. "I think I see a way out."

He pointed to a sort of hole in the forest, where light shinned brightly.

I could feel a nice breeze coming from the openning, so I decided to take it.

-WHOOSH-

The light died down to reveal a open grassy field, only limited by a perimeter of trees.

And it was…full of pinwheels.

As far as the eye could see was a field full of yellow pinwheels. The small ones that you'd give out to kids at like a carnival or something. They were all spinning like crazy, so the whole sceen of it all was pretty…crazy,

I mean there was room enough to walk but…FUCKING PINWHEELS MAN!

"Damn! Where all these pinwheels come from?" I commented aloud.

"There mine of course!" A voice yelled.

I turned, I couldn't tell where the voice was coming from.

"Over here!" It said, sounding slightly to the left.

I turned, nothing.

"No! Over here!" It said, now to the right.

I turned again, and a gust of wind blew in my face.

The voice was laughing like a little kid.

_Uh oh._

"Is this…the Ordeal of…Pinwheels?" I asked slowly.

The voice stopped laughing.

"What are you? Stupid? Of course it's the Ordeal of Pinwheels!"

The voice was definitely coming from in front of me now.

A whirl of dust and grass swirled around and ended, forcing me to cover my eyes.

When I looked again, a young boy was standing amidst the sea of twirling pinwheels.

He had a long white cape on over a tan tank top, brown shorts with a sword strapped to his waist. I could also see under his cape a set of small wings like all of the Skypieans had.

He was pretty tan, which kind of didn't go with his really white scraggly hair.

"Hi! Welcome!" He said, a big smile on his face, waving his arms around his windy field.

I was really confused by this point.

"My name's Jacob!" He said, pointing to his face.

I waved slowly. "Are you one of the…"

"PRIESTS! Yes yes yes, I am." He said, so sure of himself.

This was making me even more confused. "So… are you gonna…"

"Try and kill you? No…" He shook his head.

I cocked my head to the side.

"I WILL kill you of course!" He said, smiling some more.

_What the fuck is up with this kid?_

_Be careful Screaver._ Michael said. _Don't underestimate him just because his vocabulary is probably better than yours._

_OH FUCK YOU!_

I hadn't even realised that Michael had gone back into my mind at this point.

"But I won't kill ya yet! I'm not like those other guys." He said, slowly walking towards me. "Oh, by the way. My Ordeal had a 13% survival rate! That's pretty good, I guess."

_This kid is so…creepy. The way he just says all this stuff like it's normal._

He looked at me. "You like my pinwheels? I made them myself!"

I gave him a bewildered nod.

"Ok." He said, cracking his neck. "I'm ready."

"FINALLY!"

I dashed for him.

"I'M TAKING YOU BACK TO PRESCHOOL LITTLE MAN!"

-WHOOSH-

He vanished, like his body turned into thin air.

"Ah ah AH!" He said.

He was hovering above me, a whirlwind of air wrapped around his legs, waving his finger at me.

He drew his sword.

"You don't know a lot do you?"

He flew straight past me, his sword cutting my face.

It happened so fast I couldn't even move.

He landed and flicked his blade.

"You can't hit a _logia_ type fruit." He chuckled.

_Oh shit._

I growled.

I flicked my arm.

"MEGA…"

I charged my bazooka. He raised an eye.

"BAZOOKA!"

-KABOOM-

The blast missed.

"Whoa! That's really cool Mister!" He said.

He scratched his chin.

I was seriously pissed off now.

I armed my bazooka and gave him a barrage of bazooka punches.

Even though he was a logia fruit, the one type fruit I hate the most, he simply side stepped all of them.

"Hey Mister, can I ask you a…"

He looked up to the sky, stopping my bazooka fist with the back of his blade not even looking.

I was feeling rather humiliated and angry.

"Oh shucks! I gotta go now." He said, sounding disappointed.

He pushed me back, a huge gust of wind backing up his push.

"Don't worry Mister, there's always next time!"

He sheathed his sword.

"So long!"

-**WHOOSH**-

All the pinwheels spun so fast they disconnected from the ground, surrounding me in a tornado of yellow plastic and blades of grass.

I couldn't see, move, or hear anything but rattling pinwheels.

-silence-

And just like that, it was gone. By that I mean the whole field.

The field was empty, no wind and no grass. And the pinwheels were all gone, nothing but an empty field full of tiny little holes.

* * *

This forest was seriously pissing me off now. Just looking at it filled me with anger.

_Stupid fucking tall trees and fucking giant ass snakes with fucking stupid ass Indians and goat people with stupid fucking little kids with wind powers._

Well, not only did we have a God with the power of Thor, but a little kid with the power of…an Airbender?

"Well, that went well." Michael said from behind me.

"Where the hell did you go?" I said, more tired than angry.

"Oh, back into your head I guess." He said.

"God, shut up! You're an alternate being from another dimension! You've handed my but to me plenty of times! Do something next time for Christ's sake!" I yelled.

He sighed.

"You know I can't." He said, not smiling anymore. "The longer I stay in this form, the more my power wanes."

"And so what then?" I said. "So what if you end up a normal human being? Or better yet, you might die? That's what you wanted right?"

He stopped.

"You watch your mouth Screaver." He said, starting to get angry. "I'll forgive you now because you're angry about loosing to that priest."

"I could have taken him!" I yelled.

He shook his head.

"I'm not saying this to anger you. I'm saying this for your own good. We have a problem Screaver…"

"No…I have a problem! You just hide out in my brain whenever there's a fight going on!"

He grit his teeth. "You think I don't do anything? Think where you'd be now if it weren't for me!"

I stopped. I had to think about what I was doing.

"I…I know...I'm sorry. I'm just…tired. That tornado really messed me up."

He sighed, dropping his arms.

"It's ok. No biggy." He said.

"It's just…" I paused.

I kicked a rock in anger.

"How can I fight what I can't touch? It's bullshit!"

Michael scratched his chin.

"It's always been a problem. The only thing we have to go on is that every devil fruit has a weakness. Crocodile's was getting wet, Eneru's is going to be rubber, but air? That's a tough one."

I sat down on a tree root.

"We'll just have to figure it out later. Right now we need to get to the meeting place." I said.

He raised an eye. "Don't you mean _you_ have to get to the meeting place?" He corrected me.

I growled in anger.

"Just kidding." He said, waving his hands in surrender.

And then Michael vanished.

* * *

The forest was becoming very humid; my shirt was soaked in sweat.

Bugs buzzed in my ear and I had to swat them away every damn minute.

I could hear fighting in the distance, gunfire and clanking of swords, with the war cries of both sides.

I managed to keep my distance, didn't want to get into _too _many fights.

-SHINK-

A sword impaled a tree just an inch from my face.

_-SIGH- Shit, almost died again._

"Blue Sea Dweller…" A calm rough voice said.

I rolled my eyes and saw one of those guerillas standing on a tree branch.

He was a rather skinny guy; with baggy pants and a really tight shirt.

His skin was colorless, like olive oil, and his long hair was just a little darker.

But what really freaked me out was what he was carrying: two giant cases held together by a rope, each filled with swords of every kind! None of the hilts matched, so it looked kinda stupid.

He must have had at least fifty swords put together. Well…forty nine at least.

"…by orders of Demon Warrior Wiper…I am to eliminate you and all of your companions."

"Of course you are." I said sarcastically.

"There will be no escape, anything you say will mean nothing. There will be no negotiations, no begging, no trying to…"

I kinda drowned him out for a little bit and was about to go on my way until…

-SHINK-

Another sword pierced the tree.

"Oh come on already! What the fuck we doing beating around the bush?"

I charged at him.

"GET READY FOR MY BAZOOKA…"

He cracked his neck and threw his two cases up high.

Then I started to freak out.

-SHINK- -SHINK- SHINK- SHINK-

All the swords were flunk out of the cases, impaling everything around us, somehow even flying in sideways into trees.

I was able to dodge them, but man did it catch me off guard.

He then ripped on out of the ground and came at me.

-CLANK-

I defended with my bazooka.

"A pity…" He said, struggling against the strength of my push. "…you aren't a swordsman. I would have…liked another trophy."

"Trust me, our swordsman would kick your ass. So your stuck with me!"

I pushed him back so hard he dropped his blade.

_HA! Now I got him, he…oh shit I know who this guy is._

_What are you taking about?_ Michael asked.

The guy landed on the hilt of one sword and pulled another sword out of a near by giant tree.

_This guy…his style…it's called Infinite Sword Style. He's just like that one pedo guy from...Soul Eater I think. I forget his name. But he beat the main guy a few time though._

To think this was just some loser who collected a lot of swords.

He quickly bounced of hilt from hilt until he hit me at full force, pushing me back.

He came in low and swiped upward, knocking my bazooka arm out of position.

Then he grabbed another sword right next to me and slashed at me, cutting my side.

"BASTARD!"

I kicked him in the face, but he just spun backwards through the air and landed against the giant tree, gripping two swords to keep him up.

"If you give up now, you can die a quick death. There is no shame in it." He said.

I rubbed the sweat off my face, breathing heavily. "Nah, I rather kick your ass!"

I charged my bazooka.

"MEGA BAZOOKA!"

-KABOOM-

The blast propelled towards the tree, but he unsheathed the swords from the tree and fell downward.

He landed with a loud clonk, like his shoes were made of wood.

He flicked his two blades.

"That's a strange looking power you have." He said.

"That's a stupid looking style _you_ have!" I retorted back.

"To each is own I suppose." He sighed.

I grinned. My blood was pumping now, and I was wide awake.

"I'm gonna send you packing, so get ready…NOBODY FUCKS AROUND WITH SCREAVER D BARTEL!"

* * *

**One last thing to say.**

**I'd like to credit piratekingninja1 for the character Jacob, thanks PKN1. This is also a note to you all that I will credit everyone who's character I use in this story. Thanks for reviewing and reading everybody. Chow!**


	89. Chapter 89

A New Allie In Arms

How Pervey Can I be In One Chapter?

I launched myself towards him with a bazooka leg, then slammed my fists down like a gorilla.

-BOOM-

Missed. He had stabbed his blade into the ground and used it to kick off of.

He spun around the backside on me and cut me again. Then I spun around and clocked him in the face.

It didn't seem to faze him.

He pulled another sword from behind him and brought it down on top of me.

-CLANK-

I defended with my bazooka.

"Where you get all these swords?" I said in disbelief.

"From stupid Blue Sea Dwellers like you thinking they could defeat me in a duel."

He pushed me back.

"This is my territory now." He said just before swinging again.

I was at a disadvantage, being at close range with him swinging swords like a crazy person.

He then picked up two more swords, making a total of one in the left hand and two in the right.

"Special technique…"

He suddenly raced right at me, and slashed upward with his left.

-CLINK-

Then he took one other sword from his right and slashed at two other places.

-CLINK- -CLINK-

Then while holding onto those two swords, he slipped his foot out of his wooden shoe and grabbed another sword and swung it around my back, somehow not cutting me.

-CLINK-

He did this with seven other swords, somehow making them stick together or something all round my body in a strange sort of metal cage of swords, all the sharp edges facing my skin.

I knew what was coming: if I moved an inch all the blades would cut me all over.

He quickly jumped back and grabbed _another_ blade from the ground and pointed it at me.

"Multiplication."

-WHOOSH-

He whacked the cage.

-CLINK- -CLINK- -SLICE- -SLICE-

"HUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

They cut me all over my back and stomach, falling out of place before falling to the ground covered in my blood.

I fell to my knees in pain, then to the ground.

He flicked his blade.

"It's over."

He slipped on his shoes and was about to walk off before...

-KABOOM-

I fired a blast at his feet.

The detonated ground knocked him back a bit.

He turned to me in disbelief.

"You don't seem to quit Blue Sea Dweller." He said, cracking his knuckles.

I was smiling, one of my eyes were closed from a cut on my forehead.

I was bent over, in a pile of spilled items from my backpack that had been reduced to shreds.

"This ain't over, not by a long shot..."

I grabbed a sword from the ground.

He raised an eye at me.

"What do you think you're doing with that?" He said, beginning to frown.

I held it up, gripping the cuts on my side.

"Sword on sword, this makes it a little more even." I said, breathing heavily.

He glared at me hatefully. "I'll be damned if I let one of my prized blades be soiled by an amateur Blue Sea Dweller."

_You know, with the way he calls me that, it makes me think of the Vault Dwellers from Fallout…_

_SCREAVER!_ Michael shouted.

_Sorry, bad time I know._

I had no idea what I was doing; this was basically my last shot.

I was cut from head to toe, losing massive amounts of blood.

But neither the less, I charged.

-CLINK-

I swiped it at him; he deflected it with one hand.

"GUAAAAAH!"

I swung it up and down and side to side like a madman, hoping to see if I could land a lucky hit.

-CLINK- -CLINK- -CLINK-

He deflected them all!

And _then_ he disarmed me.

"You have terrible form." He commented.

As soon as he disarmed me with one hand, I armed my bazooka and fired.

"MEGA BAZOOKA!"

-KABOOM-

This caught him by surprise, the explosion hitting his blade and detonating.

When the smoke cleared his blade had been destroyed. All he was holding was a broken hilt.

"AND LEFT HOOK!"

-BAM-

I hooked my arm into his side, hoping to crack some of his ribs.

He doubled over, dropping the broken hilt.

Before he could move again, I aimed my bazooka arm right at his face.

He looked up at me breathing heavily.

Then he looked down in shame.

"I…I lost." He said, taking deep breaths. I must have knocked the wind out of him.

He hung his head over. I paused for a moment.

"Don't drag it out too long." He said with impatience.

I kicked him in the face.

-BAM-

He fell over, grunting in surprise.

"What the hell!" He yelled.

I shook my head, blood still trickling down by arm.

"Stupid bastard, I didn't come here for your sorry ass."

I looked to the tree tops.

"I came here to kick Eneru's stupid ass!" I yelled.

He looked up at me with confusion.

"I don't wanna kill any of you idiots! Get it? I don't give two shits what you're _Demon _Leader says! He's an asshole too! But I ain't gonna kill him either, got it?"

I picked him up from the ground.

"Listen here ya Sword-Lickin' good for nothing piece of shit! You just got your sorry ass beaten by me! And I was nice enough to not kill ya! So, from now on, you're gonna follow ME! Got it? You're gonna help ME! And we're gonna beat ENERU! And all his stupid priests!Got it?"

His eyes were wide with either fear of surprise.

He gulped loudly, and then nodded slowly.

_Screaver! What are you thinking taking this guy along with us?_ Michael asked.

_I can't be by myself in this damn forest! If we couldn't beat their weakest priest with four people then what makes you think only one of us could? I need all the help I can get! This guy included. Besides, he ain't a bad guy, he's just another guy who wants to kick Eneru's ass._

I dropped him finally, he scurried to his feet.

He then cleared his throat. "Um…Blue Sea Dwell…"

"The names Screaver!" I interrupted and informed him. "Screaver Bartel!"

"_Screaver._" He corrected himself. "Can I…"

"WAIT!" I yelled.

He flinched.

"What's your name?" I asked quietly.

_Boy I am so messing around with this guy._

"It's Mu…Mugen." He stuttered.

I nodded. My cuts had begun to stop bleeding. I guess Michael was working his magic.

_Mugen?_ Michael said in confusion.

_What? What's wrong?_

_His name…it's a pun._ He explained. _In Japanese, 'Mugen' means 'infinite.'_

…_That's pretty…stupid._

"Now, Screaver…may I ask you something?" He asked.

"What?" I said impatiently.

He pointed to our battlefield and smiled. "Can you help me get back all my swords?"

* * *

After a long while we had finally begun to move again.

He was slowly following me behind, his large scabbards missing a few blades.

Mugen had a few bandages to help my cuts, but it didn't cover all of them.

He also provided a big old blanket to wrap up all my spilled goods from my backpack, unwillingly of course.

He kept looking at me with intensity, as if his initial shock had worn off and became anger.

"What you pouting for?" I said, trying to intimidate him.

"I just…I just can't believe I've been taken prisoner by a Blue Sea Dweller." He said with distaste. "If Wiper found out…"

-KLONK-

I hit him over the head.

"Three things dumbass. One: I didn't take you prisoner, we're comrades at arms now. Two: I already said I don't give two shits about that Wiper. Three: MY NAME'S SCREAVER BARTEL! NOT _BLUE SEA DWELLER!_"

He rubbed his head, frowning even more now.

I sighed.

"Honestly, I don't know why I put up with ya." I said, walking ahead.

I sat at a tree and decided to open up that lunch Sanji made us; more tasty stew and bread and meat!

Looked a little banged up in the tin container but otherwise still good.

Mugen stopped.

"Why. Why didn't you just kill me? It just doesn't make any sense!" He yelled.

"Oh what?" I said, swallowing a spoonful of stew. "A nice human being who just so happens to be as awesome as me? Don't go all _Oh honor_ this and_ live by the sword _that. I need your help in this forest, just get over it."

I held out my hand, he looked at it in curiosity.

"We're friends now. We work together. I save your ass if you'll save mine."

He continued to look at it in curiosity.

"You're supposed to shake it stupid." I said, grabbing his hand.

I shook it up and down and then nodded.

He nodded back.

"Here." I said and tossed him the meat.

He took a bite of it, staring at it with glee.

When we both finished, I threw the container to the side, stretching my arms.

"Right! So then now we just…"

-BZZZZZZZZZZT-

A huge crackle of lighting echoed the forest.

_Oh this can't be good._

-BOOM- -BOOM-

The sound of thunder echoed afterwards.

"A storm? In the middle of the forest?" Mugen said. "Bad omen."

"It's Eneru." I said to him while finishing the last drop of stew, which made his eyes grow wide.

"What? What do you mean?" He asked.

"His body is made of lightning, but don't let that fool you into thinking he's God. He's just another fucked up person who ate a devil fruit, like many other people."

Mugen's eyes grew wide and looked down in despair.

"Are you saying…we can't defeat him?" He asked.

"I didn't say that stupid!" I yelled.

Then I smiled at him. "My captain can beat anybody, just you wait and see!"

-BOOM-

Then a different sound echoed through the forest.

-BOBOOM-

The sound of…I couldn't describe it.

The forest was beginning to get…dark.

-BOBOOMBOBOOMBOBOOM-

It was the sound of…bass.

Music: it was echoing in the trees.

Some sort of techno-pop kind of thing.

"Oh…this isn't good." Mugen said in fear, looking to the trees.

-FLASH-

Brightly colored lights flashed, filling the area with reds and purples and blues.

You'd think the forest had become some sort of rave at a club or something.

Then there was singing.

_FLY AWAAAAIE NOW. FLY AWAAAIE NOW. FLIIIIII AWAAAAAAAAY!_

-WHOOSH-

Two poles fell from the sky and impaled the ground near us.

-WHOOOSH-

We were knocked back as the music began to ramp up.

Mugen tried to say, "Be careful! This is the…"

_OMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMYGODOMY…_

There were two…

-INHALE-

…REALLY pretty ladies right in front of the poles.

I mean my mind did register that they both had wings but…OH MY GOD.

One had long blond hair, gold bands on her arms and neck, a white wrap over her breasts, and a short puffy white skirt with long wraparound gold heels. And she had three hearts on her dress, one on her chest and two at the side.

The other was much paler with longer blue and pink hair. Her dress was one piece and had stripes of gray with even BIGGER breasts. And she had on these really tacky looking blue and white striped stockings over her heels. And she also had three hearts on her sides and chest, but they were blue.

They both stared at us with comforting smiles as the music continued.

_FLY AWAAAAIE NOW. FLY AWAAAIE NOW. FLIIIIII AWAAAAAAAAY!_

Oh damn…they started swinging around on those poles.

_I'd…I'd…I'd like to thank God…for allowing this appear right the fuck out of nowhere when my time was most pressing._

_Screaver! Wake up!_ Michael shouted in my head.

_CAN'T…STOP…OGGLING!_

Oh damn…the blond one started running her hands down her body.

_OOOHOHOHOHOHOOOOH DAMN!_

The blue haired one started doing…that…as well.

"_Oh wicked souls that offends our God…_" They said in sync, their voices echoing over the music.

OHOHOHOHOHO GOD!

I wasn't even fully listening to them as they were talking.

Why may you ask?

Because…

…THE BLOND…WAS TAKING OFF…HER UNDERWEEEEEEAAAAR!

…_I'm going to hell aren't I?_

"…_receive judgment from the garb of the Holy Virgin…_"

I think Mugen was in the same state as I was.

_Screaver! Please! You're falling into their trap! This must be the Ordeal of Lights!_ Michael shouted.

But his voice was weak in comparison to the music.

The blue haired one also began to TAKE OFF HER…stocking…

_Oh damn…_

"…_cleansing the world of impurities…send to the depths of Hell!_"

You know at that moment, I wouldn't mind going to Hell I was feeling so good.

Then…their garments began to glow?

Their smiles grew into evil grins.

"**REPENT**!"

-BIIIIIIIIING-

The blond swung her glowing panties around and they…TURNED INTO A FUCKING GUN!

_SCREAVER! THINK OF BON CLAY NAKED!_ Michael yelled.

_**BUAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**_

That woke me up!

"OH SHIT!GET MOVING!" I screamed and shoved Mugen to the ground.

-BANG-

She fired right at us, but I was able to move in time and snap Mugen out of it.

We moved as the bullet hit a tree.

-BWOOSH-

It seemed to expand a little after contact, and obliterated the entire tree!

-CREEK-

The tree toppled backwards, distorting the music a little bit.

Then the blue haired one flicked her stocking and it turned into a long sword, slashing at us.

The blade swipe created a kind of projectile towards us, and if we hadn't had jumped out of the way we would have surely died.

The slash completely French fried that fallen tree behind us.

"They are…they are priests of Eneru!" Mugen said in exclamation.

"No shit! I kinda figured that out! And women can't be priests! They can be nuns but not priests!"

Sorry, I'm still on a tangent about that.

I struggled to my feet. The women had moved from their poles.

-CHCHICK-

The blond had her gun pointed directly in my back.

"Welcome to _my_ Ordeal." She said with glee. "The Ordeal of Lights!"

-BANG-

I spun quickly before she could put a bullet in my back and it hit the ground, causing it to implode into a perfect circle.

She smiled and narrowed her eyes.

"Well this is a welcome surprise. I would have hated an unfair fight."

She spun around and clocked her pistol into the side of my head.

"OH BITCH GOIN DOWN NOW!"

In a blind rage I swiped my bazooka arm at her, knocking her to the ground.

"Oh SHIT! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hit…wait a minute YES I DID!"

She rolled over, tugging her skirt down and slid a little ways away from me.

She wiped her face and licked her lips.

"You like it ruff hun? I'd be happy to oblige."

She smiled even more when she looked at my bazooka.

"That's a fucking impressive gun. I like guys with big guns." She said…um…she was looking really strangely at me.

It was making me feel…uncomfortable.

"Well…I don't like chicks who aim guns at my damn head!" I tried to shout back.

"Oh I'm sorry about that baby, I really am." She said with remorse. "We could have had a nice time together."

_Whooooooo boy I fell lightheaded..._

She cocked her gun.

"But I don't think Eneru would have liked that."

I aimed my bazooka at her.

She kept looking at me…really strangely. I couldn't really describe it.

_I think she's checking you out._ Michael said dryly.

_WHAT?_

"Honestly Panty, we have a job to do."

The blue haired girl landed right next to…wait did she just call her Panty?

The blue haired girl's face was full of boredom.

"Honestly can you _not_ go a day without hitting on anything with a penis?"

_WHOA! Where the Hell did that come from?_

"Well you're one to talk Stocking!" The blonde retorted. "All you to is sit around and stuff you're face with sugar!"

They continued arguing about...really weird stuff that I wasn't even listening to.

-SHINK-

The girls suddenly split up as two swords pierced the ground where they were standing.

Mugen had begun to take the offensive.

"Screaver! Be weary! Those two are Eneru's female priests! Panty and Stocking!"

T_T (My reaction)

Yeah you're reaction is probably what was mine at the time.

How he could say that with a straight face was unthinkable for me.

"HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO TAKE THAT SERIOUSLY?"

-BANG-

Mugen darted towards me, missing one of…_oh geez_…_Panty's_ gun shots.

Mugen then pushed me in order to miss one of…_good God_…_Stocking's_ sword shockwaves.

I armed my bazooka.

"MEGA…"

-BANG-

I couldn't fire my gun in time.

I could find where she was shooting from.

-BOOOOM-

The ground exploded at my feet.

Mugen used his foot to stop me from hitting a tree.

"We need to split up. While those two are powerful, their strength is not as high as the other priests." Mugen said.

"What do you mean?"

Mugen took out two swords. "Together they are about as strong as one of the normal priests, but separately they are weaker. That's why they work together in one ordeal."

It suddenly clicked.

"You take on the blue haired girl, seeing as you have the blades. I'll take the blondy, since I got the bullets."

His brow furrowed. "You call those bullets?"

-BANG- -BANG-

And with those gun shots, we split up.

First thing I had to do was to find…Panty…

God I'm never going to get over that.

_Oh yes, name your daughter Panty. And while you're at it, name your son Jock-Strap! They won't be bullied in school ya jack ass parent!_

_This is indeed one strange anomaly._ Michael said.

_You're telling me! Who in there right minds came up with this?_

-BANG-

That last bullet came too close into hitting me, whizzing right past my face.

I ducked behind another giant tree.

-KABOOM-

It probably had about two or tree shots of defense before it would be destroyed.

_Ok ok Screaver, think! That gun of hers is the problem. I need to get up close to her._

_That won't help Screaver._ Michael interrupted. _You know the closer you get to her, the better a look you can get of her._

_Oh come on! I'm not that…_

_Screaver._ He said. _Yes you are. You get one look at her, and you'll be helplessly under her influence._

-CREEK-

The tree began to give way, as the trunk was missing several big chunks in it.

-BOOM-

I had to duck and roll in order to dodge it.

_I gotta get a lock on first._

"COME OUT AND FACE ME YOU…very pretty…BITCH!"

Boy I am not good at fighting girls am I?

-BANG-

I finally found her, standing on a tree branch, just a few meters to the right of me.

I armed my bazooka.

-KABOOM-

She leaped off plenty of time before the shot hit the branch.

Then she snapped her fingers.

-FLASH-

All the brightly colored lights flashed directly on me, blinding me for a few seconds.

-BANG-

A bullet flew through my shoulder, detonating the tree behind me.

I yelped in pain, and quickly leaped to the side to avoid the six other bullets.

I charged at her, she was simply waiting there for me.

"HUAAAAH!"

I slammed my fists to the ground gorilla style, but she stepped back to dodge.

I let loose a furry of punches, all of them missing. She was gracefully dodging them with her eyes closed.

"DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN!" I kept yelling.

I tried a leg sweep. She just leaped upward and kicked me in the face.

While flipping and…

…did I mention she wasn't wearing any underwear?

That knocked me on my back; she was just standing above me with a smile.

"Is this really all you got? It's fucking pathetic to say the least." She said with disappointment.

She dug her heel into my belly.

She rolled her eyes. "And here I thought you were different: you're just another little boy…"

She aimed her pistol at my face.

I was filled with humiliation to be beaten so easily by these damn priests, three times no less...

"Time for you and that little toy gun of yours to…"

I grabbed her leg.

All that humiliation I had had begun to turn to rage.

Then she smiled. "There still might be hope for you yet."

I was getting angry, **really **angry.

"No one…"

I cracked my knuckles.

"…calls me…"

She cocked her pistol.

"**BOOOOY!**"

I grabbed the pistol and flipped it upward, the bullet destroying another tree.

I quickly kicked off the ground, still holding her leg, and flung it away from me.

She spun around on her other leg, looking rather surprised herself, and fired three more shots at me.

"YOU THINK I GOT A SMALL GUN? OH I'LL SHOW YOU HOW BIG MY GUN IS!"

-WHOOSH-

"**DEMOOOON…"**

My arm grew, first as the shape of my regular bazooka, and then even bigger.

"**DEMOOOOOON…**"

-CHCHIK-

The bazooka on my arm was now way bigger than my old one. And instead of having just one barrel, it had **two friggin barrels.**

"**DOUBLE DEMON HUNTER!**"

She was getting nervous now, a look of uncertainty and fear was on her face.

"Don't fuck with me!" She screamed and fired rapidly at me.

All the bullets seemed to dissipate as they got close to the aura of my power.

"**You mess with the bull, you get the horns!**"

I aimed my colossal gun at her.

"**BOTH OF THEM!**"

She didn't stop firing at me, all the bullets either melting or bouncing off my body.

I was filled to the brim with power.

"**DOUBLE DEMON BUSTER!**"

-**KABOOM- -KABOOM-**

The two blasts connected with her, and halted in mid air.

She smiled weakly.

"Nice…gun…"

-**KABOOOOOOOOOOM-**

The blast was enough to send me flying back into a tree trunk.

…_I…really…hate trees._

I couldn't see anything for a good solid minute.

Then the air cleared.

Nothing hadn't been untouched; trees, plants, even the ground were blown away

And in the crater was a floating demon soul.

I looked at my new gun in triumph.

_A little overkill maybe?_ Michael asked.

_Nah, it was just right._

-GULP-

_86 down, only 13 more to go._


	90. Chapter 90

**One Down One to Go**

**An Old Player Steps Up to The Plate**

* * *

I assessed the damage to both the area and my own body.

The bullet wound through my shoulder wasn't looking too good, so I ripped a hunk of cloth from that blanket bag and tied it around to at least stop the bleeding.

My face was sore from getting pistol whipped, and I had several bruises on my chest.

Also this strange feeling formed in my chest, kind of felt like heartburn.

_Michael…I don't feel so good._

_I know._ Michael said._ I feel it too. A feeling I know too well._

I was…strangely thinking about Panty.

Not PANTIES! Pant_y_. The girl.

_What's up with that? First this bad feeling and now her? Did she give me indigestion?_

_Don't worry about that now._ Michael said._ We need to get over to Mugen, see how he's doing._

_Oh shit! I forgot that blue haired lady…_

_You sure you'll be ok?_ Michael asked. _I know how you are with pretty blue haired women…_

_HEY! That was like…one time!_

…_No it wasn't! There was Vivi, that one desert pirate girl, I'm not even mentioning that girl you met at that convention…_

"ENOUGH!"

-THUMP THUMP-

My heart beated violently, and my body roared in pain.

"GUAAAAAAAH DAMN IT!"

I fell to the ground, twisting in pain, grabbing my head and shaking uncontrollably.

A sliver of light seeped out of my chest, draining me of energy.

_Screaver! SCREAVER! Calm down!_ Michael yelled.

The pain slowly got worse, I still wasn't able to stand up.

"Here."

Michael was standing above me, pulling me to my feet.

"What are you…"

He quickly set me down, upright beside a still smoldering tree stump.

Keep in mind these trees are still roughly the size of a small house in diameter.

My left arm twitched as it lay limp besides me, each vibration sending my body another jolt of pain.

"You overexerted yourself." Michael said calmly. "Just take a minute to rest."

* * *

I closed my eyes, trying to relax.

But after that, I could still feel that strange feeling in my chest.

"Still bugging you huh?" Michael asked.

"Yeah." I said. "What's up with that? Do girl souls give me heartburn or something."

"It's called regret." Michael stated.

I looked at him with amusement. "Yeah right. That girl was rotten to the core."

"Who knows?" Michael said. "She had us convinced she was a truly evil person. But maybe that wasn't who was she was to become. Maybe she was destined to be a pure and nice person, but Eneru corrupted her and turned her into an evil harlot. Maybe that _indigestion_ is really a sign that she wasn't meant to be evil. Maybe you are, at this moment, transforming into an **abomination for the sin against nature that you just committed by devouring a pure human's soul!**"

I was silent. That whole rant sort of had a increase in intensity near the end.

He clacked his shoes on the side of the stump. "Or maybe she had a STD, corresponding to her live of sexual deviance. Hard to say."

I shrugged. "You still talk about all that destiny crap."

"Well it _was_ my occupation since the dawn of time, nimrod." He scolded.

I took several deep breaths, then tightened my fists.

"Stop Screaver!" Michael yelled at me.

I got to my feet; my arm was turning a dark shade of red.

"Gotta…find Mugen." I said in exhaustion. "See if he's…ok."

I slipped and started to loose my footing, but Michael grabbed my arm and put it around his neck keeping me supported.

"You need to watch what you're doing. Just take it slow. Mugen should be fine." Michael ensured me.

"How's he doing?" I said, taking small steps forward.

"Well neither of them have been taken out yet." He said.

"Good enough."

* * *

It wasn't difficult to find him, following the trail of swords impaled in toppled trees.

After a while I didn't need Michael anymore to lean on, but my muscles still felt real sore. And my brain began to feel groggy.

-CLANK- -CLANK-

I heard the sounds of metal.

"Ima comin Mugen…" I slurred.

My head was spinning, and I was walking pigeon-toed.

"Stop Screaver." Michael said. "You're delirious."

"I feel just fine!" I said loudly.

-CLANK-

The sounds of metal was echoing to the left.

"Ima coming!"

Instead I quickly spun to the right and fell to the ground.

"Good God…" Michael sighed.

-ZAP-

Something hot jabbed into my back a few times.

"YEEEEEEEOOOOOW!"

I flailed on the ground yelling in pain.

"OWEOWEOWEOWEOWEEEEE! WHACHA DO THAT FOR?"

"So you'd shut up!" Michael yelled.

I got to my feet, tightening my fists ready to punch him in the face…

Then it finally hit me that I wasn't in pain anymore.

"What did you…did you inject me with something?"

"What? No. I hit a few pressure points on your spine. Acupuncture can release a lot of pain in your body you know."

"Well excuuuuse me! Fist of the North Star!"

-CLANK-

"I'm coming Mugen!"

I ran towards the sounds of clashing metal, and finally found Mugen being pressed against a tree with that other girl's swords pressed on his.

Mugen's twin cases were missing, but there were plenty of his swords in the surrounding area.

"HERE COMES THE CAVALRY!"

-KABOOM-

Both Stocking and Mugen…_seriously! Fucking Stocking!_...Stocking and Mugen jumped in opposite directions to avoid my blast.

"HEY!" Mugen complained, "Watch where you fire that thing!"

Stocking had her eyes on me, gritting her teeth.

"I guess you've defeated that hoe-bag of a sister of mine." She said casually.

"Sorry?"

"Don't be, she had it coming." She said with a sigh. "It just means more reward for me when I bring your heads to Lord Eneru."

She licked her lips. "I can almost taste the cake!"

-KABOOM-

I fired a shot at her, but she flicked it off her blade.

"WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT CAKE?" I yelled in anger.

She grit her teeth. "Don't bad mouth the cake if you know what's good for you!"

I shook my head, trying to contain the obvious joke I could say.

"Lord Eneru rewards me with delicious sweets for every person I kill." She said, putting her hands together near her face and smiled cutely. "It's so nice of him! Even nicer now I won't have that bothersome whore of a sister to deal with!"

I couldn't stop it.

"**THE CAKE IS A LIE!**"

She cocked her head to the side.

_Yeah that didn't make a lot of sense when I think about it._

-SHINK-

She vanished as a sword impaled itself to the tree.

Mugen was breathing heavily. "Damn! Even when she was distracted by you, her Mantra still allowed her to predict my movements."

"Pretty talented isn't she." I said, rubbing my shoulders.

I leaned my arm on the side of a tree to get a little relief.

-SHINK- -SHINK- -SHINK-

Three swords sunk into my arm, nailing me to the tree.

"DAMN IT!"

"Screaver!" Mugen yelled.

He rushed to me, trying to pry the swords out of the tree.

"Come on come on!" He yelled in frustration, yanking on the hilt.

"Get out of here Mugen!" I shouted.

Stupid bitch is mocking us! She did the exact thing Mugen does with his swords.

If it had to happen, I'd have to consider myself lucky it was my left arm.

I was still in shock that three fucking swords have been driven through my arm!

"This is all my fault!" Mugen cried. "She used my swords…"

"Damn it man quit yer belly-achen!" I shouted at him. "I'm fine see? No pain. But I'm not going anywhere so you gotta go find that woman got it?"

He took a few deep breaths and nodded.

Then he turned around and began to run away. "HERE I…"

-WHAM-

In a flash the woman had drove her sword butt into his face and sent him hurtling away.

"I gotta say, this wasn't as boring as I thought it would be." She said dryly, pulling her hair behind her ear.

I pulled my arm as hard as I could, but it wouldn't budge. The swords had pierced at different angles on my arm. If I pulled in one direction, the other two wouldn't pull that way.

Stocking raised an eye at me. "You aren't bleeding. That's surprising." She said unemotionally.

"Mugen!" I shouted. "You ok?"

"Yeah…" I heard a weak moan. "Can't…move…"

"I know the feeling!"

_Ok ok Screaver, think. You're pinned to a tree, your companion incapacitated, low on health, and your enemy doesn't even seem winded. You're low on options._

Stocking had her swords to her sides looking lazily at me.

"What are just standing there for?" I said. "Aren't you supposed to, ya know, try and kill me or something I know isn't going to happen?"

She gripped her blade tighter. "You march into _my_ territory, kill _my_ sister, and now your cracking jokes! That's the behavior I'd expect from my whore of a late-sister!"

She then pulled her swords back, ready to attack.

I held up my right arm as best as I could.

-WHOOSH-

She swung her blades at me, creating a shockwave that hurtled toward me.

-KABOOM-

I fired my bazooka at it, both of them fizzling out.

Then she got right up in my face.

_Oh…pretty blue hair lady._

-SHINK-

I felt something pierce my leg.

"-cough- -cough- You…bitch!"

I tried to push away, but she just pulled her sword out of my thigh and stepped away.

-KABOOM-

She used her sword to push away my bazooka.

My thigh was bleeding all over. I gripped the wound with my right arm, leaving me with no defense.

"Honestly, I must be getting good." Stocking commended herself. "Able to bring down two intruders without the help of my sister!"

I scoffed. "Don't be so modest, Mrs. _I'm-named-after-a-piece-of-clothing_! It was Panty who wore me down, I could kick your ass if I was at full strength!"

"I bet that's not all you'd like to do with it, pervert." She cursed.

_And I thought Panty was the slutty one._

I pulled on my left arm, trying to wretch it loose from the tree. It still wouldn't budge.

Stocking held up her blades.

"This will end it!"

-WHOOSH-

I fired my bazooka to counter again.

-SHINK-

"OH COME OOOOON!"

She did the same fucking thing to my right hand: next thing I knew it was pinned against the tree's trunk, with a sword handle sticking out of it.

And, lacking the fact that it was indeed real flesh, hurt like a bitch!

I kicked at the ground, trying to push away from the tree.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Stocking said coldly, "Not unless you want your legs pinned as well."

I spat at her. Anger rose to my face. "I'd do anything to take you down right now you bitch!"

She raised her blades again.

"Now, _this_ will end it!"

_Come on, come on! Get free now! You can't let everyone down by dying now!_

I struggled as much as I could, tried as hard as I could, but I wouldn't budge!

-WHOOSH-

I closed my eyes.

-WHOOSH-

A shadow blocked the light.

-CLINK-

I could hear Stocking gasp, "Where did you…"

I opened my eyes. Someone had blocked the blow.

"MICHAEL!"

He had his arms fully extended, pushing back the shockwave. His jacket blowing upwards from the impact.

"ENOUGH!" He yelled.

-BWOOOSH-

He brought his hand down on the shockwave, and it seemed to dissipate.

"Michael! What are…WHAT?"

He turned to look at me; his shades cracked, his suit ragged and his hands smoking.

"I think…you made an excellent point back there Screaver."

He flicked his wrist and the swords flew out of the tree.

"I was…afraid. Afraid that if I used my remaining power…I wouldn't be able to help your condition slow anymore."

I shook my head. "You don't have to. I know you need to conserve your energy. Just…"

"NO!" He shouted. "I realize it now. You were right. I was selfish. I was letting you fight so I could conserve more power, to prolong my own life. Because the longer I stayed alive, the longer I could keep you alive too."

He gripped his fists in anger.

"These past months, every enemy you crossed, I would always say 'Screaver won't loose' or 'he'll be fine, I don't have to do a thing.' Well that's not gonna cut it anymore! You would fight until you were on the verge of death, and I did NOTHING! You can't die! I won't let that happen! And if that means giving my life, then so be it!"

He held up his hand. "No more sitting on the sidelines. I'm sick of behind the secnes work."

I was gripping the wound on my right hand. The holes on my left arm however were already beginning to close up; they hadn't bled a single drop.

He faced Stocking. "You've done quite enough for now Screaver. Take five."

He threw off his jacket.

"CAUSE YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL MICHAEL'S GOT THIS ONE!"


	91. Chapter 91

Michael vs. Stocking

What Does it Mean?

* * *

Stocking was looking rather pissed off about her new opponent.

"And who are you supposed to be?" She said impatiently.

He pointed his thumb towards me. "I'm this guy's guardian angel, her to _tag in_ as they say in professional wrestling."

I honestly had mixed feelings about Michael fighting for me.

I mean on one hand, yeah I did wish that he would have done something when fighting against Hendrick, or Wapol or even Mr. 3 in the past. But on the other hand I knew he did so much for me, let me read and healed me and other things. He didn't _really_ have to fight my fights for me.

But I could see nothing was changing his mind at the moment.

Stocking shrugged and flicked her blades. "Doesn't matter who you are. You're all going to die anyways, I don't care who goes first!"

-WHOOSH-

She fired her shockwave again.

This time, Michael opened his hand and a silver light appeared.

Then he motioned like he was about to pull out a sword.

A silver blade appeared in his hand in place of the light.

-CLINK-

With one swing he sent her blast flying into another tree.

He looked at his blade with content. "I haven't used this in decades."

He pulled his legs together and held the sword up high, pointed at his enemy, with his other hand behind his back.

"_Nos incipere."_ He said quietly.

Stocking made the first move and charged him.

-CLANK-

Both of her swords were blocked by Michael's single blade.

He stepped forward and pushed, knocking her back a bit so he could strike.

-CLANK-

She intercepted with one blade and swiped with the other. But Michael quickly ducked.

Then He tried to slash at her back, but Stocking flipped her blade so it was upsides down in her hand, intercepting that attack.

They both stepped away from one another: Stocking was breathing heavily, while Michael still had one hand behind his back.

"You think you can taunt me by fighting with one hand?" Stocking sneered.

"Oh? So you're offended by me fighting with one hand behind my back?" Michael questioned. "Well, someone has some issue they need to work out then."

-CLANK-

They engaged in combat again, more rigorous than before.

Every move Michael made seem smooth and planned: every step, every stoke, every stab. And his face remained blank as he fought.

Stocking however was starting to tire; her face showed a mix of both anger and fatigue.

She tried to swipe her blade through his stomach, but Michael smoothly bent over ahead of time avoiding them.

Then he sliced upward, cutting her arm.

The blood ran down her arm and got on her dress. This seemed to anger her.

With an angered grunt she began slashing even harder than before, but Michael kept his composure.

_Hold on…_

That feeling of regret was still in my chest.

_If only I could…oh wait. I can!_

I used my scope power and set it to Soul Vision.

Her darkened silhouette revealed, unsurprisingly, a red demon soul.

_See? She's an evil person. Why am I feeling like this? They're just the same as any other evil son of a bitch._

But the funny feeling was still in my chest, forcing me to continue.

I zoomed in further, magnifying her soul.

Then I saw something that really hindered me.

In her soul, it seemed that a small strand of…blue energy was squirming inside. It was swirling around in her like a tiny snake.

_Son of a bitch. But what does it mean?_

"Screaver…" Mugen groaned.

I snapped out of my thought. Mugen was limping towards me, holding his head in pain.

I ran over to him and helped him sit down at the base of the tree.

"How hard were you hit?" I asked him.

"Nothing too serious…" he said. "A bum on the head, a bruise on the leg."

He seemed to notice Michael and Stocking's fight, and his eyes grew wide.

"Who…what's going on? Who's that fighting Stocking?" He asked.

_Ok ok Screaver, think carefully what you say here._

"Oh him?" I asked casually.

He was still calmly fending a raging Stocking off.

"That's Michael. He's one of my crew! He's from the Blue Sea just like me."

He observed Michael's attacks intentively.

"So that's a Blue Sea Swordsman huh?" Mugen asked.

"Told you you'd get your ass kicked if you faced one of _our_ swordsmen." I boasted.

-SHINK- -SHINK-

Both of Stocking's swords were flung from her hands, and Michael's sword was pointed directly at Stocking's chest.

"And that's the way it is." Michael concluded.

Stocking's hair was all messed up, she was breathing heavily and had a wild look in her eyes.

"I can't loose! There's no way I could loose! I'm the best! You pitiful humans couldn't even begin to match my skill!" She shouted in anger.

She was seething with rage, and she wouldn't stop yelling how _oh she's so great and strong and blah blah blah._

And despite all of that, I didn't want to kill her.

Call me soft or _humane_, but I really didn't want Michael to just kill this girl in cold blood.

_Am I using that right? Cold blood…_

"YOU'LL NEVER KILL ME! Eneru will protect me!" She shouted to the sky. "He didn't protect Panty because she was unworthy! But he'll protect me!"

She paused a few moments, Michael's blade point was right on her skin.

That's when the tears started falling down her face.

"He promised to! He…he said he would protect us! His will…would protect both of us…"

As soon as she said that, she seemed to realize the flaw in that statement.

"He…he…he said that…to the both of us."

_Eneru said that?_

Then she really started crying, coughing and yelling in anguish.

Michael's face was as still as stone.

-SLICE-

He slashed her across her chest.

"MICHAEL!" I shouted.

-KLONK-

In one single swoop Michael kneed her in the gut and rammed his sword hilt into her skull. And then she fell to the ground with her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" I yelled. "SHE DIDN'T…"

"Enough Screaver." Michael said to me.

I stopped, but my face was feeling pretty hot at the moment; which could only mean that I was angry, and my face was showing it.

Michael grabbed her arms and lied her straight on the ground and closed her eyelids.

"She's not dead." Mugen said to me.

"Wha?" I grunted. "Oh, yeah. I could see that!"

Mugen was frowning. "Why didn't you kill her? What is it with you Blue Sea Dwellers and keeping your enemies alive?"

Michael sighed. "Because Screaver didn't want me to kill her."

I was shocked. "But I never…"

"You don't have to, remember?" He said. He took his sword and did a sheathing motion. But as the sword was "sheathed" it disappeared. "I know you like the back of my hand."

"Oh, yeah." I said slowly. "I know that!"

Mugen stood up straight: guess he was over his _boo-boos_.

He picked one of his blades from the ground and begun walking towards Stocking.

He walked past Michael, who didn't even look at him.

"You know what you're doing right?" Michael said to him, not even facing him.

"I'm eliminating the enemy." He said with determination. "This is what we've been fighting for. To kill the priests, then Eneru. I won't let this opportunity disappear."

"MUGEN STOP!" I shouted. I tried to get up, but the sudden movement made me feel dizzy. "You…you can't just kill her! She's unconscious in the first place, it's unfair and…"

Mugen looked at me with disgust.

"You people are a bunch of hypocrites!" Mugen shouted. "I bet you didn't think twice when you killed Satori! But now just because she's a pretty woman you want to _save_ her? How pathetic is that?"

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"

I breathed heavily. "It's true. Now I think about it I'm not fully sure he deserved what he got. We had no options in that. I didn't know if he was just another pawn that Eneru used to gain power. But I can't change that."

The wave of regret was weighing my chest down.

"Even now I'm not even sure that Panty deserved what she got."

I looked at Michael.

"Why am I feeling this way now Michael? What you said before about good people turned bad. Are you saying every other soul I've eaten up till now has been a good person turned bad?"

I grabbed my head in frustration. "I'm so confused!"

I didn't understand at time what it all meant. Everything up till now had been so simple: beat the bad guy, eat their soul. But what if I had been doing the wrong thing?

_In Soul Eater, demon weapons only ate the souls of those who have eaten human souls. Then…what have I done? Have I been eating human souls? Am I a demon? Why haven't I felt this regret before?_

Michael grabbed my shoulder.

"You're over thinking this Screaver." Michael said. "Relax. We have some time to think this through."

He looked at Mugen.

"But first." He stated.

He pointed at Mugen and swiped his finger.

-CLONK-

The sword in Mugen's hand flew up and knocked him over his head, knocking him unconscious.

"Why do you keep doing that?" I said in annoyance.

* * *

Michael was using makeshift bandages for everyone's wounds, mine included.

After he set Mugen and Stocking to the side, he joined me resting on the second tree facing the other tree.

I was lying right between two giant roots cozily.

"So." Michael said. "I can tell you're confused by this whole thing."

"What have I done Michael?" I asked him. "I don't get it."

"Well…I don't either." He said bluntly.

I smacked my forehead in frustration. "Great. So we're both clueless..."

"Not as much as you." He said. "But I am a good guesser, so let's come up with a hypothesis. Shall we?"

He sat criss-cross, stoking his chin.

"Well, for starters, let's make it clear that the method you are using to become a Death Scythe is not how it was meant to be."

I nodded.

"The _true_ Death Scythe ate the souls of 99 Kishin eggs, or Demon eggs, which are humans who ate the souls of other humans. This is a crime against nature and their souls corrupt and give them those ghastly appearances and powers and etcetera."

He pointed at me. "We however are in a world where no such kind of being exists. So we have to make due with the souls of humans with corrupt hearts to begin with."

He pointed at Stocking. "To answer your first question: the souls of the people who you consumed before: Kuro and his lackies, Arlong's fishmen, the corrupt Marines, the Bounty Hunter's of Baroque Works, Mr. 5 and Miss Valentines Day…"

"Just get on with it!" I said impatiently.

"Don't get snippy with me." He scolded. "All these people displayed evil and corruption, there's no doubt."

He thought for a moment.

"You see this all goes back to that _fate crap_ as you called it I was talking about: some are destined for greatness both good and bad. To match this, some are born with more _purity_ in their souls than others, and some with more _corruption_ in theirs."

"Let me stop you there." I said. "Are you saying that Kuro, Arlong, Crocodile, even Eneru were born evil SOB's?"

"Most likely." Michael agreed. "Eating them has no negative effect on you, seeing your body is supposed to ingest corruption as a source of energy to…"

"Enough with the techno babble doc!" I said.

"You see, only a _few_ out of every population have their fate's predetermined, the majority are what's called a _gray, _whichcan be swayed depending on how much _purity_ or _corruption_ they are exposed too."

"Why? That doesn't seem real. I thought everyone's fate was destined."

Michael sighed. "It's not like that. Only a few are chosen to walk a certain path. So no matter how many grays are turned good or bad, both purity and corruption will still exist. If one were to disappear, the universe would collapse on itself."

He held out his hand and two different colored balls appeared; one white and black.

By moving his fingers, the two swirled together into a disk.

"This is how all universes must be in order to _maintain_ order: as long as a correct amount of _pure_ and _corrupt_ exists, this rule will maintain stability."

"Wait…that may explain the anomalies. If more than one appear in a universe, say, one more pure…"

"Than more corrupt must appeal in order to maintain balance." He said, the disk disappearing from sight.

"But…why do so many bag guys appear? I'm just one guy!"

Michael shrugged. "You have been removing all the corrupted. Non-gray's like Mr. 5 and Wapol still had a purpose after our final battles. With them gone, new corrupt needed to be created."

I scoffed. "So going back, what about the marines? And the bounty hunters?"

"They were those _grays_ I told you about." He said.

"How do you know that?"

"We're in One Piece Screaver." He said intensely. "If they were really important, we would have known more about them."

"So let me get this straight." I said, holding up my hands. "This _fate_ you're talking about…in fact, it's not even called _fate_ here. In our world it was called fate. But here…"

"It's the main plot of One Piece." He finished. "Anyone who's truly important to the plot of One Piece is a _pure_ or _corrupt_. Those important to the plot of One Piece were _destined_ to play a role: nothing can change that."

"Or so you think." I said.

Michael paused. "Now _I_ don't follow."

I thought for a moment, there was an idea forming in my brain.

"What are you suggesting?" Michael asked.

"I think Panty...and Stocking as well...were destined to be Pure. But…someone changed them. Someone purposely corrupted their souls and make them evil. A good soul turned bad may be why I have this feeling of…indigestion."

Then Michael thought for a moment. "How is that possible? No one could do that unless…"

He pause, as if suddenly realizing a terrible truth.

"Unless…" I asked.

"Unless…someone knows that this world is One Piece the anime. Someone knows that these people were created to play a role, and have the power to change that role."

"Who could do that?"

"Someone who's not from this world." He said with fear.

It suddenly clicked.

"You said that...there were more of you right? From that dimension?"

He nodded.

"And you technically quit that job and took me here, right?"

He stared at me for a long time, and then slowly nodded his head.

"One of my kind is here." He said.

Michael was looking rather frightened about this, which made me wonder.

Another Michael is here? With all his powers, he could be a real pain in the ass.

"Well…it's not like he knows you're here, or he would have come find you himself." I said, trying to cheer him up.

He looked at me with wide eyes.

"Besides, you said you used to beat them up in that whatcha-call-it dimension you all came from, right?"

Michael paused for a moment, and then nodded with relief. "I guess your right. My guess he came to One Piece at an earlier time. But I still don't understand his motives."

I shook my head and stood up. "It doesn't matter. We can't worry about him. Our main goal is to find get Eneru. Then we have to get back to the Grand Line and onto the next Saga."

Michael still didn't look convinced. "You make it all sound so easy, but we both know it's gonna take a lot of work to beat Eneru."

I shook my head. "We really don't have to worry about him. Our job is to beat the lackeys so Luffy has a clear shot at Eneru."

He raised an eyebrow. "Now I have a question for you. I know you Screaver, known you all your life."

"Yeah I know," I interrupted, "you have access to all my thoughts."

"Not all of them." He said back. "Truth is, I'm not really allowed into your brain. I can only guess what _logic_ is behind your decision and emotions."

"WHAT?" I shouted in surprise. "Man, you make me think you could read my mind!"

"It's not that hard to read you Screaver!" He insulted me. "If I ever told you that I could, I was just doing it to mess with you!"

I frowned, and thought some pretty insulting names at him.

"_That Michael is suck a fucking douchbag asshole_ is the phrase I'm going with." He said rolling his eyes.

"Damn. Yer good."

He shook his head and resumed his previous statement. "Anyways, what I want to know is…you're in One Piece, you're favorite anime in the…well…cosmos. You, for the most part, _know_ everything that could happen. All be it you're memory is a little worse for wear. If you put your mind to it, you could have…oh I don't know."

"What are you saying?"

"What I'm saying is…you could have gone on your own quest to find One Piece! Maybe even replace Luffy as captain, used your knowledge of everyone's back stories to...follow you! But you _choose_ to be the lookout, on a ship with a bumbling captain, with little to know respect! How long will you let Nami's debt hang over your head? You could have ended it WAY before it got so damn expensive! It's just…"

I held up my hand to stop him.

"I…I may be a bad mouth, and have a small brain with an even smaller temper. But when Luffy asked me to join _his_ crew, I said yes. And if there is one thing I know for damn sure I ain't, is that I **ain't disloyal**."

I tightened my fist. "Sure he may be a nincompoop, and Nami may be greedy, Usopp a coward, Sanji a pervert and Zoro a narcoleptic direction retarded a-hole but…I love them. They're my family, and the Merry is my home away from home."

Michael took a deep breath. "Do you even want to go home?"

That made me pause. I guess…I never asked that question, not once in the many months I had been here.

"I…I honestly haven't a clue. I guess…I do miss my ma, and Katherine and Kory, hell sometimes even my dad. They had my best _interests_ in mind…sometimes. But…I could never fit in my old life. I was just…Screaver, the average delinquent with a closet case of...what's the word?"

"Otaku-ism." Michael said.

"Whatever! But now…"

I raised my fist to my chest, showing him my X.

"I **am** Screaver D. Bartel, Lookout of the Strawhat Pirates. I won't do anything to mess that up. I'm in no rush to find a way back home. And I have no problem staying here until the end of my days…"

"Or hours." Michael said. "depending on how lucky you are."

"Ah bite my ass ya supernatural weirdo." I insulted casually.

"Back at'cha you pasty-faced dip-stick." He said cheerfully.

* * *

**Sorry it's been so long since the last update.**

**Well, seeing your still here, might as well tell ya'll that a while back I added a new chapter in that movie series story, feel free to read it...**


	92. Chapter 92

The Journey to Giant Jack

BWAAAAAAAH...and...WHAAAAAAAAAA

* * *

Michael went to check on the other two while I took the opportunity to catch some Z's.

Of course, those aformentioned _Z's_ were nigh out of my grasp, so I instead started monologing silently to myself.

_Jeez. Four Priests down: Satori's been pancaked, Panty's been…absorbed, Stocking's unconscious, plus that one Michael told me about. We still got…that one guy with the huge dog, and the purple guy with the…burger cloud? Or it could be that fire bird riding jackass. And then there's that damn windy kid…and one more we got no clue about who's in the ordeal of mirrors._

Five priests left to go. It's like, compared to the normal line up, it's like we've made NO progress.

This whole anomaly thing was really starting to get under my skin. But…it's my fault to begin with so…can't really complain I guess.

I looked at my right arm and thought back to that double barrel bazooka I made.

_I surprise myself sometimes._

I moved my fingers a bit.

_I wonder if…no way in hell but…just maybe…_

I curled my ring and middle finger, while extending my pinky and index fingers.

Then my arm began to glow.

My extended fingers began to grow larger and closer together, then into the shape of barrels.

-SHING-

"Woh!"

My bazooka arm was even shinier than before. At the joint where my elbow would be extended two slightly smaller barrels with a line of studs.

"Double Buster Bazooka! Hot damn!"

I laughed with delight at this new power. I tried to hold my bazooka up high, but the two barrels made my arm really heavy.

-CHICHICK-

A handle popped out the side foe me to hold on to.

_So…this bazooka isn't for close ranged attacks. It's more like assault fire. Good to know._

I flicked my arm to make it go back to normal, and stumbled back to were we left Mugen and Stocking.

* * *

The two still had there eyes shut, and Michael was no where to be seen.

_Right here big guy._ He said out of the blue, making me jump.

_Why can't you just say "hey I'm back! Wiping my shoes on the welcome matt!" once in a while?_

I kicked Mugen in the foot a few times, trying to wake him up.

No response.

Then I got real close to his ear and made this noise.

-YALALALALALALALALA-

"BWAH!" He screamed.

He freaking fell over screaming in terror, which caused me to laugh real hard.

My sister used to do that to me every morning when I didn't get up when I was supposed to.

"WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?" He shouted over and over again.

"Get up. We're leaving." I said.

"But what about my…" He said, looking around our post battlefield.

I looked at all the impaled swords and broken swords and saw a perdy blue one half sunken into the ground.

-SHING-

I yanked it out and tossed it to him.

"We'll go faster with just one blade." I said.

He was looking pretty angry. "You realize how long it took me to get all those swords? We don't make them in Sky Island you know!"

"You want more, go get more. But I am NOT helping you clean up your mess!" I said.

-SHSHSHSHSSH-

_That sound...it can't be._

I took a long sigh and started to walk off.

"You have ten minutes to grab what you want. Then we're leaving." I shouted back to him. "Oh and if I come back to find you went and killed the girl Michael will make you wish you were dead."

"Where is Michael anyways?" He yelled back.

"Hell if I know!" I lied. "We'll see him again!"

_Where are you going?_ Michael asked.

_I got a funny feeling in my gut. And I can hear…the sounds of…raging pinwheels coming from this direction._

* * *

Within a matter of minutes of walking I reached a large meadow, not so different from the one I saw before.

Like the last one it was covered with yellow, spinning pinwheels. It was like every blade of grass had actually turned _into_ a pinwheel. The sound was rather loud, like the sound of…oh I don't know…a million fucking pinwheels blowing in a god damn tornado!

Didn't I say I wasn't into that poetic crap?

The only difference I could see in this field was there was one giant rock in the center of the field.

I hid behind a tree and flipped on my scope to get a closer look.

There were two people sitting on that rock: one was our _favorite _little priest, Jake…or Jacob or something like that.

The other was someone I didn't recognize, a young girl with long black hair tied up in a pony tail.

They both seemed to be the same age, and from the looks of their faces the girl was scolding Jake.

_Damn these stupid pinwheels, I can't hear a damn thing._

Then I thought…

_Oh…if only SOMEONE who had the POWER to give me the POWER to hear over long distances, my LIFE would be SOOOOO much EASIER._

…

_Hello?_

…_You know I'm getting sick of turning you into Superman._ Michael said.

_Oh no no no…you see…I AM Superman!_

…_God damn it. Arguing with you is about as equivalent as shouting at a retarded chimpanzee._ He cursed.

-BZZZT-

Suddenly my ears were filled with the sounds of static.

-BEEP-

"I swear it's like I'm dealing with a stupid monkey!" A girl's voice echoed in my head.

_Smart girl._ Michael said smugly.

_Shut it ya knob-head._

"Stop yelling already! I bet the whole freaking forest can hear you!" Jacob's voice retorted.

The girl frowned. "Anyways, there are more pressing matters than about what happened at lunch. Satori's dead, Shura's gone, most of the fifty enforcers are gone too! Not to mention I can seem to sense Yama or Hotori and Kotori. Our guys are dropping like flies!"

"Yeah." Jacob said. "And I thought we we're supposed to be the _Great-and-powerful-servants-to-God_-Yadayadayada-Team." He said in a tired manner.

-KLONK-

The girl hit him in the head.

"Knock it off will you!" She said. "We don't want to blow it after coming so far!"

I was leaning closer and closer: this was getting interesting.

"I don't care anymore!" Jacob shouted. "Besides, he can't hear us in my territory, you know that!"

"I don't want to risk it." She said.

Jacob got closer to her. "Look Ninchou, I'm sick of waiting around! Why can't we just go and find people to fight? I can do it, I know I can!"

She shook her head. "You know why we can't. We're staying in our territory. Besides, if we're lucky, we might just wait until Lord Eneru finally completes the Maxim."

The Maxim. I remembered that was like Eneru's master flying ship, but that's about it.

She looked up to the sky…sky. "Then we'll be set for life."

Jacob frowned. "You do know that we're still just kids right?"

She glared at him. "I wanna _peaceful_ life. And I'm sick of this dirty floating rock in the sky. I actually can't wait until he destroys it."

Jacob scratched his chin. "I really don't care. I kinda hope I get to see that one guy again. That one with the gun for a fist."

_If he insults me or something, I'm taking the shot._

_But I thought you would call that unfair sportsmanship._ Michael said.

_I'm fed up with it. Besides, I'd like to test out the power of my new hand cannon._

"He seemed kinda stupid, and really angry. But…nah it's nothing. I'll see him again. I know I will."

"I'm interested in him too." The girl, Ninchou said. "That ability. It's almost like…"

She stopped. Jacob looked up as well.

"Darn, we have to move again." Jacob said.

They both stood up, I begun to step out of the tree.

He took the girl's hand, and then…

-FLASH-

A bright purple light shone in my eyes. I covered my face to try and block it.

When it died down, I quickly looked back at the rock.

My jaw almost dropped.

_BWAAAAAAAAH?_

Only Jacob was on the rock, and he was holding…a sword.

He put it into an empty scabbard that I _just_ noticed. "Let's go Ninchou."

-WHOOSH-

It was just like before, all the pinwheels spun to much they seemed to uproot and cause a damn tornado.

After a minute of being caught in a twister of grass and yellow plastic, it abruptly ended.

And the field was left with nothing but exposed soil with thousands of tiny holes.

* * *

"That girl…that girl…there's just no way man!" I shouted.

I was walking back and forth with frustration.

_Maybe it was a coincidence._ Michael said. _You can't know for sure…_

"Don't try and rationalize this! I know what I saw man!" I yelled. "That girl…she's a demon weapon!"

I stopped and threw my hands up in the air. "I'M THE ONLY DAMN DEMON WEAPON!"

Then I went back to pacing. "In fact they shouldn't exist period! How do I know if she's not the only one? There could be more! Hell even the whole Death Academy might even exist!"

I was pacing back and forth even faster. "I'm freaking out man! I'm freaking out!"

-SMACK-

A hand whacked me in the back of the head.

"Take a damn chill pill ya freak out!" Michael yelled.

I took several deep breaths. "Ok…I'm chill…but I'm still freaking out!"

"And why exactly are you _freaking out_?" He said sarcastically.

I startled sound and said, "HELLO? I told the crew I was the only one left remember? If they meet more of them, then they're gonna want to ask questions! Especially Robin!"

Michael shrugged. "Honest to God, what is it with you and letting them find out huh? Just say _I'm a person from another dimension where you all are characters created by a chubby Asian man_. Who cares? They're not gonna believe you anyways!"

"But that's the point! I don't want them to think I'm crazy!" I complained.

Michael looked at me with a straight face. "Screaver…I think they already kind of think that." He said.

I frowned. "That's what you think." I wagged my finger at him.

I turned around and sighed. "I just…don't want to ruin what I got here. It just…I don't want them to find out about that. It'll just be easier if they never find out."

Then I got an idea. "I did say I'm the only one that exists _that I know of_. Maybe they'll buy I'm just oblivious to other Demon Weapons!"

Michael just groaned. "Whatever you say Screaver."

-CLOMP-

I could hear the sound of wooden shoes clomping on the ground. I turned to see Mugen, with only one of his large cases of swords on his shoulder. And even then it was probably only half full.

"This is all I could find that wasn't broken or unobtainable." He said sadly.

"And what about…Stocking?"

He glared at me for a second, but his gaze eased and he said, "She's still asleep back there. You want me to ki…wake her up?"

"Nah…leave her there." I said. "Two's company, three's high society, but four's just too much."

Mugen blurted out, "We can't just leave her there! What if she wakes up and tracks us down? If we're keeping her alive, at least tied her up or something!"

I scoffed. "Unless you got a rope I don't see that happening."

Michael looked at me, put his hand into his sleeve and pulled out the end of a rope and made a face that said _how long you need?_

I shook my head at him and he just pushed it back into his sleeve.

"Michael, where do we go know?" I asked.

He sighed and looked around. "I'd say we hike for about ten minutes in a…" He paused and pointed his finger past me. "…that way direction."

Mugen groaned. "Are you serious? You don't even have a map!"

"Don't need one." I said. "Michael here is pretty much a human GPS!"

"A what?" Mugen asked.

"Yeah Screaver." Michael said, his teeth gritting and left eye twitching. "A _what_ now?"

"Quit yer whining you two!" I said, then raised my arm high and pointed behind me.

"ONWORD TO VICTORY!"

"I'd rather take my chances with the priests…" Mugen whined.

* * *

Well Michael turned out to miscalculate on one tiny part.

He seemed to overlook the giant sprawling canyon that laid between us and our destination.

At least, I think it was.

On the other side was this humongous…bean stalk.

And not like _size of a house _big, I'm talking about Empire State Building tall!

"That's Giant Jack." Mugen said. "It's been here longer than anything else here."

"Great." I groaned.

Michael paced a little bit, seeming to work something out in his head.

He pulled out his magic sword.

"What are you planning…" I began to say.

"DUCK!" He shouted before swinging his sword.

I instinctively ducked and his sword went over my head, passing through a nearby tree.

"ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?" I roared in anger.

"No…just eccentric." He responded quietly.

-CREEK-

The giant tree that was behind us began to lean towards the canyon.

"TIIIIMBEEER!"

-CREEK- -WHOOSH-

The tree toppled and leaned into the canyon.

-WHOOSH-

It didn't even come close to reaching the other side.

It landed into the deep canyon with a huge boom, with the end of it barely touching the side of the cliff.

"That was completely useless!" Mugen yelled.

"Was it?" He said with a cocky smile.

He stepped atop the fallen tree's trunk, the end that he cut was perfectly flat and level.

"Step aboard please." He said politely.

I shrugged, thinking _what could go wrong?_

Mugen was a little less trusting, but I practically picked him up and put him on the trunk.

"Next stop: Bottom of canyon. Please keep your hands inside the boundary in order to minimize the chance of splinters." He said and snapped his fingers.

-CHUNK-

The next thing I knew the floor had begun to sink under me, and we were beginning to drop at a incredible rate.

Mugen wouldn't stop screaming in terror.

For the next minute the only thing I could see was darkness, the only thing I could hear was Mugen screaming like a bitch, and the only sensation being that of falling.

-BOOM-

The floor stopped, as did Mugen's screaming.

A square hole formed in front of us, leading to the outside.

"Bottom floor. We hope you enjoyed your visit." Michael said cheerfully.

I stepped out and looked upward.

"Son of a…"

Michael had turned that tree into our own personal elevator!

"Ok…how the HELL can you do that?" I said in shock.

"Oh this is kids stuff Screaver." He said boastfully. "Still, easier than soul manipulation I can tell you that."

"Yeah…" I said uneasily.

All the branches and leaves had been flattened, making it seem like the elevator was surrounded by green carpet.

"You thought of everything." I commended him.

Mugen's legs were shaking as he stepped out.

"How…wha…ugh…" He grunted.

"Why are we at the bottom of this canyon anyways?" I asked.

"Well, we certainly couldn't fly across, so why not get to the bottom and walk across?" Michael asked.

"Then how are we gonna get back up?"

He gave me a look and pointed at the Treelevator.

"Right…gotcha."

I turned around to see where we ended up.

The only thing noticeable to this area was a wide cloud river.

"How do suggest we get across?" I asked Michael.

He thought for a moment, and then snapped his fingers.

-CREEK-

The tree elevator began to lean forward.

"Oh for the love of…"

Once again I jumped out of the way to prevent being crushed and the tree fell into the river.

Then with one hand he pushed the humongous log forward, making a bridge across the river.

You should have seen Mugen's face at that point.

"What are you?" He said in fear.

"That's how we Blue C's do!" I said in a ghetto manner.

Then I beat my chest and held up a peace sign. "REPRESEEEEEEENT!"

"Racist-ass honkey…" Michael murmured.

* * *

We had to help each other up so we could get to the top of the trunk, then it was just a matter of walking across.

"So Mugen…" I said, trying to start up a conversation. "After we kick Eneru's ass, what do you plan on doing afterwards?"

"What do you mean?" He asked back.

"Well, we are going to beat Eneru, that's a no brainer. After this is all done and you guys got your land back, what do you plan on doing?"

He was quiet for a while before saying, "I don't know."

I smacked my forehead in frustration. "What kind of answer is that?"

"What I mean is I'm not sure." He said. "Our chief will know what to do. We'll rebuild…I would guess."

"Got any family?" I asked.

"Why do you want to know that?" He asked, sounding defensive.

"Come on!" I said. "Just making conversation. We're friends right?"

"I wouldn't say that!" He said rudely.

"HEY! I'm serious."

"Ok, then if we're friends, you go first. _Got any family?_" He mocked me.

"I did..."

He was quiet for another while.

"Now you."

"Well…" he began. "Both my mother and father died in a recon mission almost a decade ago."

He sighed and then made a slight chuckle. "When dad didn't come back, mother left to find him, ended up with two casualties and…well that's the end of my parent's story anyways."

"Sucks." I said bluntly. "Just saying, if you expected any sympathy out of me, prepared to be disappointed."

"I expected as much." He said, not surprised at all. "Aisa is the only family I've got left really."

"Aisa?" I asked.

"She's my cousin." He told me. "Her parents aren't…around anymore so I've had to watch over her."

"Why aren't you with her then?" I asked.

He scoffed. "She's barely ten years old. I left her back at our village with our chief for safety. This forest is no place for a child."

"Damn straight!" I shouted, thinking angrily about that Jacob.

"She's such a hassle, Aisa." He said. "But she's all I got, you know? And she constantly comes to the forest looking for Vearth."

"Vearth?" I asked at first. But then it occurred to me that he meant dirt. I remembered that's what the knight told us back at the barbeque.

"In fact I've half expected her to leave our camp and try and find me, or Taki, hell even Wiper."

"Relax, she'll be fine. Besides, if anyone in my crew finds her, they'll do everything they can to keep her safe."

"Why?" He asked.

"I don't know." I said bluntly. "They seem to have a soft spot for children."

He sighed pleasantly. "Well that's a relief."

Michael stopped in front of us, I wasn't looking so I bumped into him.

"What are you…" I started.

My speech halted when I saw what he was staring at.

My jaw **really** dropped this time.

_WHAAAAAAAAAAAA?_

Just a few yards in front of me, a man was hunched over in front of us, on our log bridge, staring at the river bellow us.

He had no shirt on, humongous baggy orange pants, and a white cap on. And he was incredibly pale, I mean even paler than me!

He seemed to be carrying a gold pole with rings on one end, and on his back…was a half circle with what looked like four bongo drums.

Eneru, in the electrified flesh, was in my way.

_...I can't seem to catch a break now can I?_

I didn't know what to do! Attack, run away, beg for mercy, jump off…

"Eneru!" I shouted.

Mugen's voice was shaking. "It's Eneru…"

The pale man stood up straight, his amazingly long ear lobes flopping down to his side.

"Ah yes, it was about time I paid a visit to the big mouthed contender in my little game." He said calmly.

His voice had an effect on me. It was cold and very sinister sounding, but at the same time his tone filled me with ease and calmness.

Kinda strange that someone makes you feel scared and yet calm.

"You see...I have indeed been listening in on your little _statements._ And I do find them..._questionable _to say the least." He said casually.

His presence seemed to ring of...laziness. Like he had all the time in the world. Despite causing so much misery for so long, he didn't even seem fazed or even twisted. He didn't sound sadistic or evil. It was like all of this was just...normal for him.

"Eneru?" Michael asked him. "Please, cut the crap!

Soon Eneru began to chuckle, and then started to laugh out loud.

"So..._Michael_, you've finally come for me. Took them long enough to send someone I suppose."

_What the hell is he saying?_

"I'm not here for you." He said rudely.

Eneru cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Oh? So you escaped as well!" He said in realization.

"Michael." I interrupted. "What are you two…"

"Oh be silent human!" Eneru said pleadingly. "I am trying to have a delightful reunion with an old friend!"

"HEY!" Michael shouted. "That _human_ is my friend."

"Friend?" Eneru laughed. "We both know you never made friends. He must be your vessel." Eneru asked.

He held his arms out and displayed himself.

"As you can see, mine has turned out incredibly well." He said boldly.

-CLICK-

It all made sense. Eneru...he's the bad guy who corrupted Panty and Stocking.

I felt kind of angry that it took me this long to process that but...HOLY SHIT!

I really wanted to punch this guy in the face…really hard!

But when I tried to step forward, Michael kept me back.

"So this is what you've done with yourself huh?" Michael said unimpressed like. "I should have ended you when I had the chance."

Eneru raised an eyebrow. "You know that could never happen."

-ZAP-

Sparks of electricity were being emitted from his body. "I've had a entire lifetime to adapt to this dimension, you've clearly just arrived."

Michael responded. "Oh trust me, I'm more adjusted than you would believe."

"ENERU!" Mugen yelled.

He ran past me, drew a sword, and tried to run him through.

"NO YOU IDIOT!"

-BZZT-

The instant his blade touched Eneru, huge sparks of electricity exploded from his body, blinding me for a moment.

By the time I could see again, Mugen was frozen stiff, his body burnt to a crisp.

"DAMN IT!" I shouted and formed my bazooka.

Eneru raised one finger and shook his head. "Now now now young Screaver. There is no need to bring such hostility to such a momentous occasion."

I sneered. "What the fuck are you talking about you sick son of a bitch!"

"Well," He said, thinking for a moment. "It has been over four decades since me and Michael last saw each other, pretty important if you ask me."

Mugen's body began to fall over, until I unequipped my gun and grabbed him by the arm.

"But then again...who am I?" He said, cracking a slight grin at Michael.

His body gave me an electric shock when I touched it.

"So…Michael…friend of yours?" I asked, trying to hold back copious amounts of anger.

"Yeah…we were in the same line of work him and me." Michael said cautiously. "Course he went by the name Gabriel back then."

He nodded. "Oh that name didn't really suite me, being the future God of this world. Eneru! That's a name people can fear!"

He sighed casually. "So,_ Michael_," he said coldly. "I can see you haven't come to join me. Did you come seeking refuge?"

_Refuge?_

"I came here to protect this guy." He said, pointing to me. "He was the one I was assigned too."

Eneru bent over to inspect me; I was close to spiting in his face.

"He doesn't look like a murderous psychopath, nor does he look like the next leader of a genocidal army. But he does seem rather…temperamental."

That time I did spit at him.

"No matter, my game is nearly complete, and once I claim my prize, I shall resume my ascension. I just came by to tie up loose ends and…"

He pointed his stick at me.

"Remove one last contender." He said coldly.

I freaked out and began to back away.

"You've been spouting out enough bold and rude comments long enough."

I raised my arms in defense, but Michael put a hand between me and him.

Eneru raised his eyebrow.

"I wouldn't advise that course of action, _Eneru._" Michael stated. I could hear him also holding back large amounts of anger.

"Well I don't see why not?" He asked innocently. "After all, we are all players in this game. And players have to compete against one another."

Electricity sparked from his giant pole.

I formed my bazooka and cracked my neck. "Bring it on, Pikachu! Luffy won't mind if I warm up a little bit on your fuckin face!"

You know that sounded a lot better in my head, and not as homosexual…

-SPLASH-

In an instant, a huge flash of yellow and purple whizzed right past my face, right where Eneru was standing.

And in an instant, he was gone.

-SPLASH-

I looked over the side and saw…a yellow tail flailing around in the cloud.

"DAMIEN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU DUMB FISH!"

If my guess was right, he must have tried to eat Eneru…

-BZZZZZZZT-

"**DAAAAMIEN!**"

A huge column of electricity shot out of the water and into the sky.

Then the entire river began to bubble and steam like crazy.

I immediately leaped into the water.

"Damn it Screaver! Not you too!" Michael shouted.

-SPLASH-

I…REALLY shouldn't have done that.

The entire river was still charged when I dived in.

It was like swimming in a sea of needles it hurt so bad.

But when my hand grabbed a scaly fin, I grabbed it and broke the surface.

The water was bubbling and steaming around me, making it really hard to see. I was afraid I was going to die.

_Screaver!_ Michael's voice shouted in my head. _I can pull you up! But I can't see you in all that steam. Give me a sign!_

I raised my bazooka up high and fired.

-KABOOM-

Almost instantaneously, something wrapped around my bazooka and began to pull me.

But as it pulled me up, the arm holding the fish was pulling me down.

And it wasn't like I wasn't going to let go of my giant fish friend, just that I _couldn't _let go. My arm refused to open.

"HEEEEELP! DAMIEN! MICHAEL! LUFFY! NAMI!"

And then…I passed out.


	93. Chapter 93

Technique?

The Burrial and Explanation

I was in the front seat of my mother's van, from the looks in the rear-view mirror at the age eleven or so. She was driving me to my boxing lessons.

I had been going every week for about two years, and really enjoyed going every Saturday. Eventually I started going every Wednesday afternoon as well.

Sam's coaching was…difficult. I haven't been to any other boxing dojo, but I would take a guess that most of them weren't like Sam's.

His training was hard. It was really the form that took me a while to box. And the dodging. I was never really good at dodging but I grew better at it.

He even had a regimen for me when I wasn't at the dojo, seeing as how he really wanted me to be there three times a week. Push ups and sit ups, crunches and other things.

This was what started me on my _amazing_ figure that I had today.

What my mom wanted to get me was a punching bag, but dad refused completely. He would rather have me punch on the tree that grew in our back yard before he paid for a punching bag.

Parents…

Anyways, my mom dropped me off and drove off.

I walked in the front door.

"Look who it is!" Stacy greeted me.

"Hiya Stacy." I said.

She and I had become good friends in the time I was there. Whenever she believed Sam was pushing me too hard, she'd step in and see that I got a breather and a Coke! She became my guardian angel in the boxing dojo.

"Ready for the next lesson huh?" She asked, her eyes going back to her magazine.

"Yes mam." I said politely.

I learned that with Stacy, I had to give her the utmost respect. Or she would "tan my hide" as she loves to say.

"So, how are things at school?" She asked while reading her magazine.

"Good mam…"

She sat her magazine down. "Your ma told me you got into a little tussle on Tuesday. Is that true?"

She gave me the_ Say the wrong thing and I'll tan your hide_ glare.

You see, Stacy and my mom became good friends, seeing as how my mom wanted to know the people looking after her son better. They really hit it off.

"…Yes mam." I said sheepishly.

"What the hell are you doing boy?" She said, starting to get angry. "You think just cause you're learning how to fight you can beat down on your classmates?"

"It wasn't like that! And don't call me boy!" I shouted.

She folded her arms and raised her eyebrow.

I looked at the ground, squeaking my sneakers.

"Boy…" She said warningly.

"I didn't do it out of anger! It was self…de…defa…defeeeee…"

"Defense?" She guessed.

"Yeah! Yeah! Dat word!" I said stupidly.

I was still about ten or twelve mind you; my vocabulary hadn't gotten as…good as it is now.

"Screaver, please do me a favor." Stacy said, looking very concerned. "Please try and _attempt_ using your words before you use your fists. Please?"

Stacy was a pacifist, which was really ironic seeing as how she worked in a place where people learn how to fight. But she worked there as a personal favor to Stan, seeing as how it was a _family_ business.

You know it's weird that my mother was greedy and my guardian was a pacifist.

And I'm currently trying to go out with a greedy woman and had a thing with a pacifist.

…

No connection whatsoever as far as I can tell…

"Watch yourself Screaver, or I just might let Stan whip your butt with training today. Are we clear?" She said.

I nodded quickly.

"Quit bugging the poor boy Stacy!" Stan's voice boomed from his office.

He stepped out in his usual training gear: a wife-beater and red boxing shorts just like always.

Over the past few years, Stan's age was really beginning to show. His beard was full of gray, wrinkles were forming around his face, even his stamina began noticeably decreasing as we trained. But hid it as best he could.

He just couldn't go seven rounds in the ring against somebody without taking a break no more that's all.

"We're teaching him how to defend himself for Christ's sakes!" He said in his normal jolly mood.

Stacy shrugged. "I thought we were teaching him to fight out his aggressions in the ring."

"Same thing!" Stan concluded.

He threw me my boxing gloves. "Suit up boy, cuz I'm gonna teaching you a family favorite."

I wrapped my hands in tape and Stacy helped lace up my gloves.

Stan stepped up to one of the patched up gray punching bags that hanged from the ceiling.

"Now Screaver, look at my hand."

He held out his left glove. It was just as ratty as most of the equipment in the place.

"I see it." I said curiously.

I could see out of the corner of my eye Stacy had set down her magazine to keep an eye on her boss.

Stan's face was mostly covered up by his beard, but I could tell he was smiling.

"Now see this Screaver. Our next lesson is something a little different. Not forms or dodges or any of that other stuff. It's what's called a…signature move, one I made up myself."

He got real close to me and held his glove to my face. "But before I continue, I want you to promise, PROMISE me that if you will never use it in a fight. I mean in a traning fight or an official fight. I mean ONLY in a do or die real fight. You're old enough, so I want you to PROMISE me!"

He was staring really intense at me.

"But if you don't want me to use it, why teach it to me?"

He let out a laugh.

"Truth is Screaver…I'm getting old. I really have nothing of value to leave behind when I do finally kick the bucket…"

"You can't talk like that!" I shouted. "You still got another ten years at least!"

"Hehehe…it's nice to hear _somebody_ say that once in a while." He said, eyeing Stacy. "But over these few years…I've come to see you as more of a son than a student."

He stood up tall and faced the punching bag. "Which is why I'm going to pass this knowledge to you; the one thing of value I have left."

He cocked his fist, staring the punching bag down.

-**BOOOOM**-

His fist seemed to disappear, then reappear and burst a hole in the bag, causing sand and bits of bag to scatter everywhere.

The impact was so strong it knocked me off my feet.

"Jackhammer." He said.

My mind was instantly blowned.

"You're paying for a new bag Stan." Stacy said with a bit of fright in her voice.

What he did blew my mind! I mean now a days I wouldn't have been shocked, being on the Grand Line for months. But in the real world, when I was a lot younger, I still can't believe he could do that.

Stan looked at his hand, rotating his wrist. "Screaver, go get some brooms. We better clean this up."

* * *

Now, personal confession here, I could never learn how to do the Jackhammer.

-GASP-

I mean, how could I? It's just…not possible.

You see the point of the punch was to somehow punch at full force, then pull back and punch ten more times at the speed of sound! He said if it was done wrong you could seriously mess up your arm, the force would rip apart your arm.

I'm still not sure I can even attempt at doing something like that, even with me being in this world.

Maybe I was afraid to do it, doesn't matter. I didn't need something like that anyways.

"BWAAAAH!"

I flipped over and my face landed in dirt. I was laying on the river bed of cloud.

I sat up, noticing newly applied bandages wrapped on my body.

And I was wearing a new green short sleeved shirt that buttoned all the way up, but was all unbuttoned.

"Michael!" I shouted.

"I'm right behind you nincompoop." His voice said in aggravation.

Sure enough he was, currently treating Mugen with bandages he seemed to be pulling out of his sleeve, who was lying next to a campfire.

"He's ok isn't he?" I asked, bending over to stand up.

"Of course he is." Michael said. "What do you take me for?"

I sighed in relief, then remembered Damien.

"I'm sorry Screaver." Michael said. "He ate pure electricity. It would have been a miracle if he hadn't been killed instantly."

I fell to my knees in sadness.

"He…was a good sky fish."

Michael nodded. "I pulled him ashore, if you wanted to say good bye."

I sighed and nodded again.

I got up and walked towards the shore line and saw, what appeared to be, a giant brown lump.

I know to others it was just another dead fish but…this guy was different!

Why was he following me in the first place? He shouldn't have followed me at all!

And now he's dead.

"Damn it Damien!" I yelled in anger. "Why'd ya have to go and find me!"

I started to cry, like some little kid crying over a dead pet goldfish.

After the tears and snot washed away I decided the best thing for me to do was too burry him.

I grabbed his browned tail and dragged him away from the river.

"Need some help?" Michael asked.

He appeared behind me, holding two shovels.

I gave him a tired smile and nodded.

* * *

It took us both about half an hour of hard work to finish the hole.

I took a long look at that gapping hole in the ground.

It was finally time to put him in.

"You have the honors Screaver." Michael said, taking a step back.

I nodded in silence.

I looked once more at his burnt body and scooped him over my head.

But just as quickly my arms began to give out and he tipped over my back, but I refused to drop him.

-THUMP-

It sounded as though something fell from behind me.

"What was…WOOH!"

I shouted in fear as I began to fall forward before Michael caught me.

-THUD-

Damien's scaly body fell into the hole.

"Thanks." I said.

Michael let me go and walked past me.

"Screaver…you won't believe this." Michael said with surprise.

I turned to see him looking at something in his hand.

"Let me see." I said.

He handed it to me.

Small, square, charred black…plastic.

My gameboy…

I looked at Damien's grave in shock.

"You came back…to give me…this?"

I was…angry and…touched at the same time.

"He really must have liked you." Michael said in respect.

I sniffed my nose, and gripped the gameboy tightly. "Yeah. Guess he did…"

* * *

We piled the dirt over Damien, and threw the shovels down.

"You want to say a few words?" Michael asked.

I nodded.

I stepped forward and put my hands together.

You know: Father, Son, Holy Spirit and what not ya know?

"I hope that, wherever you go, it's a whole lot better than here. You deserve it."

I nodded my head and looked at the gameboy.

I threw it at the grave in frustration.

"You shouldn't have tried to find me!" I shouted.

It laid in the middle of the grave as I wiped away more tears.

Michael put his hand on my shoulder.

I was sad, and angry! Angry at Eneru, angry at Damien, and at myself!

-BRRRRIIIING- -DING-

A strange sound played.

I knew what it was though. The sound that plays right before the game starts on the gameboy.

I walked over to the gameboy, picked it up, and used my shirt to wipe the soot away from the screen.

The screen showed the little avatar of me, standing at the entrance of the Elite Four, the menu opened up, cursor on the Pokémon option.

I clicked the button.

All my Pokémon were where they should have been I suppose. I hadn't played in forever so I don't really remember much of what I had.

Except...there was an egg at the bottom of the screen.

I remember never carrying more than five Pokémon, so not to spread out the experience.

I selected the egg.

_Wonder what's inside? It needs more time though…_ is what it said.

...

I wanted to believe it. Oh how I REALLY wanted to believe what I thought this meant.

But I knew it couldn't be true, in fact nothing less of a cruel joke.

I did the only thing I could; saved the game and shut it off.

I slipped the game into the shirt pocket, seeing as how my pant's pockets had been rendered useless.

Then I just realized something: Michael's connection with Eneru.

I turned to him. He sighed expecting this to come.

"You have some explaining to do Michael." I said in a serious and slightly angry tone.

He nodded and waved his hand for me to follow him.

* * *

We got comfy on the ground around the campfire, and he began his story.

"Well Screaver, to be honest, the job that my kind are forced to carry out isn't really the greatest job in the cosmos. In fact, most of us really hate it but don't have the courage to try and escape."

"What do you mean escape?" I asked.

"There are moderators Screaver." He said. "Few of us are chosen to answer to a higher power to keep the rest of us all in check. Keep us from escaping permanently. So far, I was the only one I knew that was able to escape alive."

"It didn't really seem that difficult. I mean one second I was in a blue space, the next I'm falling out of the sky."

"Yes for you it was like a few heart beats. But for me it was like a hundred year war condensed in the matter of seconds. The breaking of my bonds to our higher power, having to transport both our bodies and souls across light-years of dimensions in order to escape their trail. And finally sealing this world from its connection with the moderators."

"You didn't make it sound so bad when we first met." I said.

He shrugged. "I didn't think I had to worry with _details_. Being that as it may, I have to tell you that I am not the only one who attempted this. Their have been a handful of us who have attempted to escape, but we never hear from them again. So we all assume they are either dead or otherwise."

"And Eneru is one of them?"

"Yes, _Gabriel_ was one of us." Michael said. "He too tried to escape around the time that I had a extended three year period of relief."

"You can get that?" I asked.

"Despite what you may think of us, we work very much like a corporation; where we get paid in our _annual_ or should I say _life-timely_ payment of time off."

"Ok, so how did Gabriel get to become Eneru? Did he possess them?" I asked.

"Yes and no." He said. "You see, we can't actually take over someone. Our souls may be inside the body, but not take control of it. But even then, I don't see why he would."

"What do you mean?"

"I've never done anything like this before," he explained, "but I know that in order to achieve this he had to sacrifice…God I couldn't even begin to explain."

"What? You think I won't understand what your saying?" I said, sounding mildly offended.

"It's just…ok." He took a few moments to think, I guess. Then he continued. "In order for one of my kind to take over a person's mind and body, we have to sacrifice our immortality and most of our powers: materialization, teleportation, matter manipulation, etcetera."

I was confused. "Why in the hell would you want to do that?"

"Well, for one thing, it would keep you hidden from the moderators. Our powers are like a constant signal for the moderators to find us. It was used so that they could keep in contact with us in case a need for us to return, though it rarely happens."

"But…we haven't met any moderators…have we?"

"No, but that's because I have extensive knowledge on how to 'dampen my signal.' My guess is that Gabriel didn't, and have to take evasive maneuvers in order to avoid detection."

"But still, seems like a stupid idea right?" I said. "He's lost most of his powers and his immortality!"

Michael looked down, deep in thought.

"Hey! Wake up man! I'm talking."

"I guess he could be…no. I mean he was stupid but…to think…"

"Explain what the hell you talking about!" I shouted.

"_Infinitas Animus_." He said.

I stopped for a moment and thought.

"Infinte…soul?" I guessed.

"You're not half bad at latin." He said.

"I only remember bits and pieces. That and I played Assassin's Creed for a bit."

"_Infinitas Animus, _or Infinite Soul, is, well, a myth among us."

"What does it mean?"

"It is a process. You see, despite what actions or feelings we really have, all my kind have pure souls."

"WHAT? After all the bullshit Eneru or Gabe had done to us?"

"Doesn't matter. A pure soul can commit evil just as a corrupt man can do good. We are a considered pure in the eyes of our superiors, no matter what we do. It's just if we break one of the covenant rules we must be punished."

"Ok ok, get beck to…the process."

He held up his hand, a black ball appeared in his hand. Then he held up his other hand and a white ball appeared.

"It is said that the cosmos was created when purity and corruption clashed together, swirling and swelling until it created the billions of dimensions that exist. However it has about as much grounds as any other religion. With that said…"

He put his hands next to each other, and the balls touched together, then the white and black began so swirl towards the touch line.

"If purity and corruption clash together on a existential level…"

-FLASH-

The two balls flashed into an amazingly bright light.

"Infinite energy is created." Michael finished.

The light finally died down once he clasped his hands together.

"So…Gabriel's trying to achieve this level of power?"

Michael nodded. "It's just a theory however. A religion. But if it was true, he has all the tools to do it. He has begun to bind his _pure_ soul with one of the most corrupt souls in One Piece."

"Eneru. And what, may I ask, would happen if he creates unlimited energy?"

Michael shook his head.

"He would not only re-obtain his powers, they would have no limits. The possibilities are endless. Creating and erasing dimensions through thoughts, bending the wills of all beings in the cosmos in one word, absolute godly dictatorship."

"He'll become God, basically." I summed up.

Michael sighed. "Yeah, if you want to be less dramatic about it."

I guess that's what he meant about his ascension.

"I guess it's taken him a long time to get to this point, but I still don't get why he's playing the part of Eneru still. If he's going to become God or whatever, why cause all this when he oculd just will it to disappear?"

Michael paused. "I don't know. Why don't you ask him?"

I turned all around in fear, looking for him to strike.

Nothing.

"I mean when you see him!" Michael laughed.

I frowned. "Shat up."


	94. Chapter 94

First Encounter?

Bettle In the Ordeal of Iron

-BOOM- -BOOM-

"Oh that can't be good." Michael said sarcastically.

I leaped up as soon as I heard…

"GUAAAAAAAH! GO AWAAAAY!"

It was Nami's voice!

"Michael! Look after Mugen! I'm going for Nami! NAAAAAMIIII!"

-ROOOOOAR-

In a flash I could see some sort of boat fly overhead.

It had to be Nami's sky rider.

And just as quickly, the head of a giant green snake leaped out trying to get her.

In fact it was the exact same one we fought before.

It opened it's fangs, ready to swallow the rider up.

-KABOOM-

I fired my bazooka into it's face.

"GET AWAY FROM NAMI YOU DAMN FRIEGHT TRAIN OF A SNAKE!"

The snake faltered, it's huge body had stretched almost completely over the canyon.

But my shot must have broken it's concentration, and it soon fell into the canyon.

-**RUMBLE- -RUMBLE- -BOOOOOM-**

The snake's entire body fell into the canyon, it's eyes had rolled into the back of it's head.

Unfortunately, the waver didn't make it all the way across.

"CRAP! CRAP! KEEP GOING! NOOOO!" I could hear Nami shriek.

I ran as fast as I could, but I was afraid I would be too late. The waver was already falling past the edge of the canyon, and heading straight for solid rock.

I took one prep leap before I shifted my legs into bazookas.

"Bazooka Step!"

-KABOOM-

One double blast sent me flying.

"IMA COMIN!"

But I wasn't slowing down. I was afraid I might smash into her before she smashed into the rock.

"Watch where you're going!" Nami shouted in anger.

I slowed down in my flight, and grabbed on the waver.

I positioned myself so my feet were between the rock and the waver.

"STOOOOOOOOOO…"

-BOOM-

My bazooka's clanked loudly against the wall of stone. We stopped immediately.

Then we began to fall.

"You really didn't think this through!" Nami yelled.

"YOU HAD A BETTER IDEA?" I retorted.

"WAAAAAAA!" A little girl's voice cried.

"WHO?"

-WHOOSH-

In almost an instant I was engulfed by leaves and branches. They didn't stop me, but they did slow down the fall.

-**THUD**-

I finally landed with a thud, almost unharmed.

The giant tree had been placed right bellow us, somehow the leaves and branches didn't cut us and broke our fall.

-BOOM-

The waver fell with a clank right behind me.

On it was Nami, holding…a little girl?

"NAMI! You're alright! I was so worried!" I shouted in happiness, and ran over to hug her.

-BAM-

She hit me over the head.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? YOU COULD HAVE GOT ME KILLED!"

"It's so good to see you!" I repeated.

She shrugged and looked at the young girl. "Are you ok?"

It was a little girl in a wool hat, animal skin dress, and tiny wings.

A itty-bitty Skypiean.

"I'm guessing this is Aisa." I said.

Nami seemed confused. "How do you know?"

"Because we've got her cousin, Mugen, in the infirmary." Michael said…

_**MICHAEL SAAAAAAID?**_

Michael casually walked up to us.

_**MICHAEL CASUALLY WALKED UP TO UUUUUUUS?**_

Nami gave him a strange look. "And who are you?"

_**NAMI ASKED HIM WHO HE IIIIIIS!**_

My worst fear had come to pass.

Michael cocked his head sideways. "I don't know. Who am I Screaver?"

_**YOU DIPSHIT!**_

_DEAL WITH IT NUMBSKULL!_ His voice said inside my head. _Just get on with it! Make up something._

I gulped. Then began to mumble a bit. I probably had the look of terror on my face.

"Uh dada um yayaya ya seseseeeeeee…"

Michael shook his head. Then he held out his hand. "The name is Michael. Pleasure to finally meet you."

Nami looked at his hand in caution, then looked at me trembling like a baby.

She shook it slowly.

The little girl shouted, "Where's Mugen?"

Michael gestured back to our camp. "He's right over there, I'll take you to him."

She let Nami go and ran quickly to where Michael had pointed.

"I'll let you both have a minute." He said politely, gave me a look, and then walked after Aisa.

I waved at him, and then I looked at Nami.

Her face had the clear look of confusion and anger.

"Who is that man Screaver? And why do you have Aisa's cousin with you?"

-GULP-

Well, the day had finally come. To think I had to spill the beans now.

"Well you see…Michael is…is…"

I tried to come up with something plausible, something she could believe.

"…well…he's…a friend."

Nami shook her head. "Friend? Did you meet him in the forest? Doubtable, with that suit he's wearing. Is he a priest? No, they all want to kill us."

"He's a friend, an old friend. We've known each other for…a long time."

"Oh." She said. "And you just so happened to have met him in the forest?"

I gulped again. "No…he's been with me for…a while."

She raised an eyebrow. "How long's a while?"

I got a tug from behind my shirt.

Aisa was looking up at me with tears in her eyes.

"What happened to Mugi?" She said.

_Mugi? Ha! I mean…aw how nice…_

I looked at her and pat her on the head. "He's ok. He got in a fight with Eneru."

She looked shocked and even sadder after that. "He did? He's going to be ok right?"

Michael appeared behind her and said, "Don't worry. He's in good hands. We'll get him back on his feet in no time."

Michael smiled and looked at Nami. She looked at him with distrusting eyes.

"If you believe I have been a stowaway on your ship, I have not."

She crossed her arms. "Ok then. Then explain yourself."

"It doesn't really matter. We have to figure out how to get this waver and the rest of us out of this damn canyon!"

The ground began to rumble.

The god damn snake had woken up.

"Oh son of a…"

-GUAAAAAAAH-

It was up and moving, and was beginning to slither up the canyon.

I got an idea that would kill two birds with one stone.

"Nami! Get Aisa on the waver! You can ride up the back of the snake to get out!"

"Are you crazy? There's no way I'm going to ride up that monster!" She protested.

I didn't care. To get her out of here was my prime objective. I grabbed the waver and literally put her and the little girl on the waver.

"What are you doing?" Nami shouted. "You're going to get us…"

"Find help! I'll stay behind to look after Mugen!"

I revved the handle and the waver jet towards the snake.

"YOU ASSHOLE!" Nami yelled.

"Ride the snake Nami!" I called after her.

"Real smooth Screaver." Michael said sarcastically.

I watched as she, eventually, sped the waver up until it ran right up the snake's spine and out of the canyon.

I looked at Michael. "I gotta go after her. We still got three priests to deal with."

"I'll stay to look after Mugen." Michael said. "Need anything, you know what to do."

I nodded, then took my mark.

I pictured myself running right up that cliff.

_I can do this. I did it before, I'll do it again._

"HUAAAAAAAAH!"

I ran as fast as I could, my arms flailing around trying to build up more speed.

Then I hit the wall and took off upward.

"I CAN DO IT! I CAN DO IT!"

I ran straight up the cliff until my feet began to give out. Then I leaned forward and tried to grasp the edge of the cliff.

Once I did that, I pulled myself up. The snake had left a trail of flattened branches and trees so I knew where to go.

That snake was pretty damn fast, moved like a subway train only a lot bigger and a lot faster.

I couldn't see what the snake was chasing, so I decided to hitch a ride on it's tail.

I quickly did a bazooka step off a tree which put me on side of the tip of it's tail, gripping on it's rope-like hairs.

-THUD-

I could feel something coming off of the snakes body. Slight thumps and booms, like a heart beat, only it was a lot more sporadic and violent.

_Wait…didn't Luffy get eaten by this snake?_

I flipped on my scope and looked far town the snakes belly.

Sure enough, I could see a small figure from inside the belly being lit by a blue soul.

_That damn idiot_.

-BOOM-

-ROOOOAR-

The snake roared in pain, shooting it's whole front end straight upward past the clouds.

"I'll get you out later Luffy." I shouted, and started swinging from hair to hair.

Once I got to the section that was vertically straight up, I had to climb up the rope hairs as quickly as possible.

Piece of cake for me: Drum Mountain didn't have a bunch of ropes to grab on.

It wasn't even that high up.

Once I got through the layer of puffy clouds, I took in my surroundings.

It appeared to be a huge sight of ancient ruins, crumbled buildings and pillars.

And there were people down there.

I flipped on my scope.

There were four people, two animals.

One was Zoro, which made me feel better knowing one of my crew was here.

And another was that Gan Fall with his poka-dotted bird thing, which made me feel even better.

But then there was that Wiper guy, which got me seriously pissed off. And one of the priests was here.

He was a dark looking bald guy with winged sunglasses, baggy pants and a huge sword with a giant ball at the end of it. And he was standing next to this…Clifford.

No, I'm serious; he had his own Clifford the Big Red Dog.

Except I guess it wasn't a red dog, it was white and had a bushy tail.

They had all finished their pre-battle speeches and drew their weapons, ready to attack one another.

Zoro was so focused on the snake, he didn't see Wiper aiming his bazooka at him.

"**AAAAAAAAAAY!**"

I swung off the giant snake's hair, bazooka kicked off the thing's belly, and went flying straight for Wiper.

"HEEEEEEREEEE'S SVREAVEEY!"

Wiper saw me way before I got to him, and he aimed his bazooka at me and fired a bright blue blast.

-**BWOOOM-**

I held up my left hand and put it into a _stop_ symbol.

"ULTAMITE…"

My hand was pushing straight through his blast.

"…BA-BA-BA-BITCHSLAP!"

-BOOM-

My hand went straight through the ground, missing him.

He was standing only a few feet away from me.

"I gotcha back Zoro!" I shouted.

"Bout time one of you guys got here!" He shouted.

"Insolent Blue Sea Dweller!" Wiper said in anger. "You think you can just come to this land and take what's rightfully ours? You have no IDEA how long we've struggled!"

"I DON'T…"

I slugged one punch at him, he blocked with his sky skate.

"…GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT THIS DAMN ROCK! You want a crumbling piece of dirt? FINE!"

I slugged another punch.

He leaped above me, ready to do that overhead move where he fires his gun upside down.

I was ready with my bazooka pointed right as his.

"I should have finished you from the start!"

"BRING IT ON ASS-WIPER!"

-**KABOOM-**

**-BWOOOM-**

_Best, insult, ever._

The blasts pushed each other back a bit, we stared each other down.

"Zoro!" I shouted. "Luffy got eaten by the snake! But he's alive! Get him out of there!"

"How'd that idiot end up in there?" Zoro yelled in frustration.

"Just be careful! Luffy's going ape-shit inside of that snake's belly! That snake's in a lot of pain right now!"

-GUAAAAAH-

-**BWOOOM-**

He fired at me again, but I got an idea.

I held up my bronze bazooka to protect my body.

The blast pushed against my body, even scorched my clothes and legs a bit, but mostly I was alright.

And, even better.

-SSSSSSS-

My bazooka was glowing and steaming red hot. My arm felt like it was touching something that overheated in the microwave, but it was bearable.

"Special Attack!"

I charged Wiper.

"Super-Heated Bazooka PUUUUNCH!"

Wiper knew not to touch that thing, so he inevitably jumped back as my new barrel created a steaming crater where he once stood.

"Super-Heated Mega BAZOOOKAAA!"

I fired at him, and again he dodged it. But the blast was now a bright red and when it his a stone building the whole wall exploded into steaming rubble.

I looked at my new gun with pride.

"I am indeed smokin' hot."

I licked my finger and touched me bum.

-TSSSSS-

And no, I didn't not make any _flamin'_ jokes because…I wasn't on fire!

HA!

"Big deal." Wiper said. "You'll still die like the rest!"

-**BWOOOM-**

I side stepped and begun to charge him.

But before we got within ten feet of each other, a humongous shadow appeared over us.

-GUAAAAH-

That snake was looking right down at us with it's mouth wide open.

"SCREAVER!"

Zoro grabbed my left arm and slung me out of the shadow before leaping backwards himself.

"Thanks for that." I said.

The snake's mouth ate another ruined building, but not before melting it into a puddle of purple goo.

"Alright, note to self. Got to watch out for those poisonous fangs." Zoro said in a huff.

-WHOOSH-

Behind us appeared the giant white dog.

"Speaking of fangs…" He said, and got ready to slash his sword until…

-WHOOSH-

The fucking dog tried to uppercut him!

…This was just too weird! The dog, stood up on it's back legs, and just took a swing at us!

What the hell!

"I've never seen a dog move like that!" Zoro said in another huff.

The priest was sitting a top it's furry head. "Not many people have, friend." He said. "You'll fine that Holy knows a great number of commands, beyond just sit and stay. I'm a Sky Breeder, renowned for my special animal training. I've trained him to stand upright on two legs, and to box just like a champion prize fighter!"

_Box?_

It swung it's paws and took the appropriate stance.

"Nice doggy." Zoro said cautiously.

He gave me a look, understanding what to do.

"You got this, right Champ?" He said to me.

I slammed my red hot bazooka into my Indestructo-Hand and said, "DAMN STRAIGHT!"

-CLINK-

Gan Fall flew past the priest for a sneak attack. However, the priest simply deflected it and shouted taunts at the old man.

"I will stop Eneru with my dying breath if need be!" He said.

I gestured Zoro to take off. He got the hint and took off.

Before I could get a good shot at the dog, the snake went off into another rampage and we all leaped into separate areas.

I took refuge in another building, to collect my thoughts.

_Ok, one giant boxing dog, one all-knowing priest, and one angry Indian with a bazooka. Zoro should be able to take the priest I should guess, only got to hold out till the other's get here. And Wiper's not too hard. But that dog…should be interesting._

The ground was quiet. The snake had stopped moving.

I took a cautious look outside. No one around.

I exited the building and took a few alleyways through several blocks.

Zoro was confronted by the priest on his dog, his blades drawn.

But there was something behind him…

A row of barbed wire and…CHOPPER!

He was on the ground, several large cut on his belly, unconscious or worse!

"YOU SONOVABITCH!"

I fired my bazooka at the damn dog.

It weaved back and forth to dodge the shots.

Both Zoro and I charged.

"YOU GO FOR CUE BALL; I GO FOR THE FLEA BAG!"

"SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!" He shouted in response.

He leaped up as I ducked bellow.

"HAWK…"

"BAZOOKA…"

-**BAM-**

**-SHING-**

I…It didn't work.

In one move the damn dog dodged my uppercut and gave me one solid punch to my gut.

In the other move the priest flicked his blade and it somehow morphed and slashed Zoro's side.

We both fell to the ground in defeat.

I got the wind knocked out of me, so it was hard to breathe when I got back up.

Zoro's blood dripped out into a puddle in front of him.

"What…was that?" He said in exhaustion.

"Hmm…"Cue ball said, "typical Blue Sea Dwellers. Ya didn't expect it."

He flicked the hilt and the blade started to grow and distort, like it was made of a trail of liquid.

But when it smashed into the ground, and clinking against Zoro's blades I quickly deducted that is was, in fact, **not** made of liquid.

"Yeah yeah, it's just like a whip. I get it." Zoro said in annoyance. "You know you White-White Sea People are more like circus performers than warriors."

"Tell me about it." I said, thinking of Satori.

The priest looked past us, and split from his dog.

"From the looks of things, the upper ruins are about to get very busy."

-WHOOSH-

-BLEEEEAH-

Eight figures shot out of the cloud in the distance and landed inside the ruins.

Some were those weird goat people, others were Shandorian warriors.

Followed by…

"WAAAAAAAH!"

…NAMI!

Her waver revved into the ruins as she screamed her head off.

She was being followed by three more goat men.

"NAMI!" I shouted, and charged at the goat men.

Me, Zoro, and for some reason Wiper leaped past Nami and one-shot those stupid goat men.

"AISA!" Wiper shouted. "What are you DOING here?"

"Nami!" Zoro shouted. "What are YOU doing here?"

"Wha…WAVER!" I yelled. "What are you doing HERE?"

Zoro looked at me like I was an idiot.

I was.

"Zoro, Screaver." Nami said. "What's happening?"

"WIPER!" The little girl shrieked.

"What is it you're plotting here Blue Sea Dweller?" Wiper said in anger.

Then he made the wrong move: he stuck a gun at Nami.

Before he even got fire it, I whacked the bazooka Skyward and chopped him in the belly.

He doubled over in pain as I shouted, "DON'T BE POINTIN' GUNS AT NAMI!"

-BAM-

He was one flexible bastard. His skate kicked me in the chin and sent me into a wall.

He re-aimed his bazooka. "Aisa, get away from that woman!"

"NO!"

-**BWOOOM-**

Thank God the blast missed them, as before they got hit Gan Fall swooped down and grabbed the waver.

I always like that pink bird.

"WIPER! YOU'RE A MONSTER!" Aisa screamed.

I stepped out of the wall and send HIM into a wall with my…

"ULLLLTAMITE…A-BA-BA-BA-BITCH SLAAAAAP!"

-GUAAAAH-

The snake had it's giant fangs surrounding them and…

-BOOM-

Ate them up…

-**GULP-**

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**"

-SHING-

-BAM-

Both Zoro and I were whacked over the back by that damn dog, crushing us into the ancient stone floor.

I lost consciousness for a few minutes.

_Nami…she…she can't be…I never got to…_

"**NAAAAAAAAMIIIIIII!**"

I blasted myself out of the ground in rage.

I looked around; the ruins had been surrounded by some barbwire dome.

"Big deal." Zoro said in disinterest. He had gotten up as well. "You can put up a fence. I wasn't planning to run away."

Wiper was up to, and kicked one of the goat men into the fence, knocking him out for good.

_So it's a weapon as much as a barrier. But first._

"YOU! SNAKE!" I shouted at it.

It seemed to look at me.

"YOU ARE GONNA COUGH UP MY…CREWMATES OR I'LL BLAST THEM OUT OF YOUR GOD DAMN BELLY!"

The battle began. As the little people began to fight, I launched myself at the snake.

-**BAM-**

With the power of love and rage, I punched that thing, hard, it the gut.

"**COUGH EM UP!**"

It doubled over, if a snake could actually do that, and tears formed in it's eyes.

But just as quickly, it threw it's head down and smacked it's chin into me, slamming me downward into the rubble.

I quickly got out and evaded it chomping at me again, and got ready to fire again.

"WIPER!"

It was a woman's voice, calling from outside the cage.

Another one of those Shandorians, a black haired woman, was pleading Wiper to stop fighting.

"Eneru is lightning itself, he literally has the powers of a God!" She pleaded.

"ENOUGH!" Wiper ordered.

"She's right." I said to him.

He jerked his head back at me with wide eyes.

I also looked at Zoro with sad eyes. "Eneru ate a Logia type devil fruit, the Rumble Rumble fruit, which gives the ability to become lightning. He's literally untouchable."

Zoro cursed. "First Crocodile and now this guy. Why is it always devil fruit?"

"STOP!" Wiper ordered. "LEAVE AT ONCE!"

Before she could even do anything, a figure of blue light appeared behind her.

Eneru…

"Did I hear my name?" He said broodingly.

"ENERU YOU FUCKIN BASTARD!" I roared.

I ignored the snake immediately and ran straight for the fence. "YOU'LL PAY FOR KILLING DAMIEN YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

The women put her gun to Eneru's chest, despite Wiper yelling her to run.

I put up my bazooka, ready to activate the Demon Hunter.

_This I'll kill Eneru and keep her ok._

_NO SCREAVER!_ Michael's voice shouted.

_WHAT?_

_Remember what I said. I know you think that Demon Hunter will just kill Eneru and keep the other woman ok but it's not that simple! Remember, Eneru's soul has been replaced with Gabriel's pure soul. It won't work and you will be using up another few years on top of it!_

I cursed and stopped in my tracks, keeping an eye on them.

-BANG- -BANG-

She shot two hole clear through him.

Of course they did nothing.

"You FOOHOHOHOHOOOL!" One of the goat men bleated. "I'd forget about her and worry about my-SEHEHE…"

-KABOOM-

One shot blasted him into the barb wire.

"Yeah, you should have."

-BOOM-

That woman…never stood a chance.

She fell to the cloud, burnt and unresponsive.

Then, Eneru made a chuckle so dark, so evil it made my skin crawl.

-_**Hehehehahahaha-**_

"You didn't actually think I'd _spare_ her." He asked. "Wiper, the ruthless Shandorian warrior. Surely you understand the concept of no mercy. She opposed me, and no she's dead."

I used my scope and inspected her body.

Her soul was small, and not flickering, but was definitely there.

_Better not say anything. Don't want to give Eneru any ideas._

Eneru flickered with lightning. "And you'll soon join her."

And in a flash, and another skin crawling cackle, he was gone.

Wiper was motionless.

"Wiper." The bald priest said. "Weep not for her. Loki received the divine judgment all of God's children pray for. She is free."

I shrugged and said, "She isn't dead ya numbskull."

He looked at me and glared in anger.

Zoro asked, "You can see her soul?"

"Yep. It's still there. Which means she ain't dead."

I held my hand high to add drama to the effect. "It is then said that God hath done sloppy work."

Then I looked at Wiper. "So quit yer mood and let's get this fight moving again."

I turned to the snake, and looked at Zoro.

"Since were all getting personal , there's a score I have to settle as well." Zoro said.

Wiper grabbed his gun, Zoro unsheathed his blade and I cocked my still red hot gun.

"**THE SNAKE!**"

We all charged the giant monster.

"Time to cough up what's in your belly!" Zoro shouted.

"You got indigestion and I'm the motherfuckin' Ipecac!"

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Wiper shouted.

He aimed his gun at both of us, but I absorbed his fire blast with my bazooka again, reheating it's exterior.

"HOLY!" Cue Ball shouted. "They need a hug!"

The dog hopped from side to side like a real boxer and tried to bear-hug us.

We all leaped separate ways.

"Zoro, make that snake cough up our Captain and Navigator. I'll go three rounds with this lightweight!"

"EISEN WHIP!"

The priest flung his whip sword at Zoro, but he deflected it.

We all landed and stopped again.

It was like a Mexican standoff, waiting for the next one to strike.

The snake roared and hissed some more.

_Luffy must be at it again…_

"What's the matter?" Wiper called out to it. "Got a belly ache? It serves you right!"

Wiper coaxed it to charge him, then shot it right on the soft spot on it's head.

No effect.

"BARK!"

The dog swiped at me again, punching a hole in the wall I was resting on.

I scoffed. "Time to put this boxer into retirement!"

I could have gone with a _put the dog down_ joke, but I had to make a choice between the two.


	95. Chapter 95

Bazooka Man vs. Gust-Gust Boy

Realizations and the Saint's Burst!

The dog had just gotten done chewing on one of those Shandorians. The beast balled his fists and whirled his arms.

Snot rolled down his nose, and he slipped into a boxing stance.

Mind you the entire situation made me wanna smack my forehead in disbelief but the dog's angry expression overcame that choice of action.

"You know, from one boxer to another, you have terrible form."

I released my bazooka, all the heat was forced out of my arm and returned to normal.

"I'm about to take you to boxing school."

-RUFF-

He had a bounce in his step, and dashed left. Kicking off a wall, he swiped at me from my left side.

I jumped back, then slipped into my boxing stance.

"38 Hit Combo!"

I left loose a furry of jabs, swipes, uppercuts, and everything else I had at him.

He put his arms up and blocked every one of them.

_Well, he knows how to block._

-RUFF-

"BOW WOW BITCH!" I shouted back.

I stepped in and tried to upper cut him, got him square in the chin.

He was unfazed by this blow and used it to het a shot at me in the ribs.

_He's got a lot of fur and fat. My hits do nothing on him. And he's too quick for me to line up a shot._

I decided maybe if I could get a little ways back, I could shell him with my new artillery.

But every time I try to retreat, that dog bounces off the walls and buildings to cut off my escape route.

He was like a giant furry pinball.

And blocking was out of the question. I tried to block once, it still sent me careening into the side of a ruin building.

-RUFF-

It threw a few punches at me, and I tried to dodge them as best I could. But, in a boxing match, I was always focused on absorbing the blows and using the enemy's movement as a chance to attack. But I couldn't do that seeing as blocking was not an option.

So I changed it up a bit.

I began chucking rubble at him to try and distract him from my real attack, wasn't that effective. He didn't need to block the rubble: it just bounced off his fat belly. His only focus was on me.

I tried to flash step around him, hit him in the back maybe. But even then my fists weren't able to penetrate his back fat either.

This was one overweight puppy!

-BAM-

He twirled and his fluffy tail flung me away from him, but I was able to land on my feet before smashing into a wall.

_What can I do? How can I be beaten by this stupid dog? I know I'm strong enough! Why can't I…_

A flashback.

_Sand flying around me… fluorescent lights…a demolished sand bag…Stan's smile through his beard… "Jackhammer."_

I looked at my left arm.

_The only issue I had with that technique was that I wasn't able to deal with the pressure of my arm being torn apart. But now…_

This arm was, dare I say it, indestructible. I don't know what Alistair made it to be, but it might have been the answer to my problem for a long time.

I took the position: I pulled my arm back, made a strong fist, bend my wrist ever so slightly.

"RUFF!"

The dog bounced back and forth, ready to come in for another attack.

_One hit. One blow. One enemy beaten. That's how you win with…the Jackhammer._

"Time fore you to get jacked." I said.

"RUFF!"

It bounced forward, I could see it's chest wide open.

My arm flexed as hard as it could.

"HUUUUUUUUAAAAAA…"

-**BOOOOOOM**-

I flung my fist straight forward, as soon as it contacted the dog's fur coat, I pulled back.

Then pushed forward and pulled back and forth ten times.

In a fraction of a second.

I punched him so hard the snot was flung out his nose.

"RUU…"

-BOOM-

His massive body was flung through several buildings and right into the barbed wire fence.

"And that's how you box!" I said in triumph.

"Congratulations!" A voice said cheerfully.

"Why thanks!" I replied happily.

I turned and ended up face to face with…Jacob the wind-boy.

I froze for a few seconds.

"How…how'd you…"

"HELLO?" He said sarcastically. "Wind?"

I jumped backwards and armed my bazooka.

"Why the hell you here?" I said rudely. "This ain't your territory!"

"Ohohoh that is where you are wrong!" He said cheerfully. "Seeing as how Ohm has been rendered…incapacitated…this area is up for grabs now."

He raised his hands and looked to the sky.

I looked up and saw…a huge funneling twister full of yellow and black.

It almost looked like a tornado made completely of bees.

"Might wanna duck." Jake said.

I immediately darted to the nearest building I could find.

That was all that could be heard for the next minute. It was like the building was being assaulted by machine gun fire.

I uncovered my face and looked out the window.

The ground, rubble, even the sides of buildings were covered in pinwheels!

The air blew through my hair and caused chills to run down my body.

I stepped out of the building and there were hundreds of them, sticking vertically out the wall!

Jacob stood proudly on top a fallen column with his sword drawn.

"Now, with that underway. LET THE ORDEAL OF PINWHEEL'S COMMENCE!"

I reformed my bazooka. "I don't give two shits if yer a logia type or not. I'm still gonna kick _both _yer asses!"

His eyes grew wide. "What? What do you mean _both_? You're crazy! Stop…stop talking crazy!"

I looked at the sword. "It's…Ninachow right? Your name?"

It didn't respond.

I sighed. Then I pointed to my arm, "I'm one of you! I'm a Demon Weapon!"

Jacob was…flabbergasted. "WHAT? How do you…I mean…NO YOUR NOT! You don't even have a miser!"

"Don't need one!"

Jake shook his head. "It doesn't matter! I'm not going to let you go just because you're like Nina…"

-BAM-

The sword smacked him across the face.

"_Why __can__'__t __you __just __keep __you__'__re __mouth __shut?__"_ A girl's voice said. "_You __could __have __just __denied __everything __he __was __saying!_"

"Sawy." The boy said in pain.

"OOOY! Screaver!" I could hear Zoro call. "Where are…what the hell?"

He stumbled down one of the ancient streets and began to run into the pinwheel area.

Then he looked at me, then at Jake, then smacked his forehead.

"I just got through defeating ONE priest, now another one shows up?" He groaned.

I pointed at Zoro. "ZORO! I wantcha you do me a favor and NOT get involved in this fight!"

He raised his eyebrow in confusion. "Why? I'm a swordsman aren't I?"

I looked at Jacob, he smiled back at me. "I got a score to settle with this rampant preschooler. Just stay out of my way!"

Then I looked back at Zoro. "Besides…he's a logia type."

Zoro smacked his forehead and said, "AGAIN?"

And with that, I fired at Jake.

-KABOOM-

He predictably dodged it, but I pressed forward as he fell from his perch on the column.

I swung at him, but ended up hitting nothing but air as he shot directly into the sky.

"NOW! PREPARE FOOOOOOOR…"

He twirled his arm and a funnel of wind formed around it.

"TORNADO FIST!"

He fell from the sky and went directly for me.

It took me by surprise so I ended up doing a half-dodge-half-block, ending up getting his right in the gut.

-WHOOSH-

That hit knocked all the wind out of me as it sent me twirling into the sky.

I couldn't breathe. I was twirling around in the air, I had no clue what the hell was going on.

"You better watch OOOOOUUT!" Jake's voice shouted from an undefinable direction.

-BOOM-

I had no idea how, but both his feet stomped right in my gut.

I was shot sideways, and saw myself flying straight towards the cloud dome.

_CRAP CRAP CRAP!_

I formed my leg cannons and fired in the opposite direction, trying to slow myself down.

-THUD-

I landed on the ground, but was still being flung forward.

I did everything in my power to stop myself from touching that barbwire.

-ST-

Barely made it.

My right hand was all scratched up from that, my left still looked strong.

"Nice landing! You should take up flying!" The little prick said cheerfully.

I put on my angry face. "You stinkin' cheap sombitch!"

He stuck his tongue at me and drew his sword.

I formed my bazooka and held up my fists.

"I grow bored playing with you." He said. "Time to end this."

"You know I was just thinking the same thing!" I said back.

And so I charged.

-CLINK-

His blade clashed against my bazooka, I swiped my left arm at him.

He dodged with his eyes closed and slashed my arm with his sword.

I freaked out and stepped back, but he kept on me with a few more sword strikes.

It was so weird. When I tried to dodge it, his blade would go to the opposite side, like his attacks were him just drawing big C's in the air.

He pushed me back with a big gust of wind, my feet dragged on the ground.

We were now a good basketball court away from each other.

"You can't beat me buddy!" He shouted, shaking his head. "You can give up now and I'll give ya a quick death!"

I sneered. "Piss off! I've dealt with farts stronger than you!"

He clapped his hands together. The pinwheels spun even faster than normal.

A tiny twister formed in his hand.

"Fart huh?"

He pushed his hands together.

"DELTA TORNADO!"

-**BWOOOOSH-**

Out of his hands a huge twister sprung and started ripping the stone out of the ground.

By the time it got halfway to me, it was already thick with dirt and fallen debris.

All his pinwheels however remain unharmed.

I was about to admit defeat, until I thought for a second…

_Luffy wouldn't give up, and neither will I!_

I gripped my right hand, and made the Longhorn's symbol (the pinky and index finger extended.)

I lifted double barrel bazooka right at the twister.

"DOUBLE BAZOOKA BUSTER!"

-**KABOOM-****-KABOOM-**

The shots erupted from the muzzle harder than I even felt.

-BOOM-

When they made contact with that twister, both erupted into a storm of dust and stone.

I couldn't see, couldn't breath, and felt like I was being pierced by a lot of sharp objects.

I remember falling to the ground and cupped my ears, waiting for the chaos to end.

* * *

It finally did.

The field had been destroyed. Buildings crumbled, columns toppled, even those pinwheels had been ripped up from the ground.

By the way, one of those _sharp__things_ that pierced me **was** one of those damn pinwheels. I had to yank it out of my leg.

It had a metal tip, with just regular plastic yellow flaps to catch wind.

I had a flash of fatigue and almost collapsed on the spot: that huge blast of energy really took it out of me.

_This __is __getting __me __nowhere! __I__'__m __just __getting __weaker __and __weaker __and __he__'__s __just __getting __warmed __up! __I __gotta__… __I __gotta__…_

"GOOOOD! WHY IS THIS SO GOD DAMN DIFFICULT!"

I threw the pinwheel down in anger.

I was ready to throw in the towel: there's just no way of beating air.

What is this guy's weakness? How do you beat air?

I stared at the broken landscape in despair.

Then I looked at my feet, and saw the blood-tipped pinwheel.

It…was still turning.

Something…something popped into my head.

I picked up the pinwheel and closely inspected it.

I broke the spinning part of it off.

The part of it that spins was black and hard. After I picked it off the plastic it revealed to be a teeny-tiny black dial.

After a little more examination, I could see that the dial was in a constant spin. It was causing the pinwheel to spin constantly.

I looked around, Jacob was no where to be seen.

_These pinwheels…they spin on their own? I guess I always kinda wondered what purpose they served but…why?_

The wind seemed to have died down quite a bit. It was nothing but a light breeze now.

_Hang on a bit…I remember…our ship can't sail here because there's no wind._

I hit my forehead in realization. "How could there be any wind on this island?"

I looked at the pinwheel, then looked at the dome above me.

It looked like a huge white net, but something seemed off about it.

There was one section that didn't seem to look the same as the rest.

I zoomed into it with my scope…

A cut. There was a small section of the net that was cut and bent.

-CLICK-

It all seemed so clear to me at that moment.

"JACOB!" I shouted. "SHOW YOU'RE FACE YOU PEJALENT CHILD!"

-WHOOSH-

Something solid seemed to whack me in the back of the head.

Jacob was standing with his arms extended, a look of anger on his face.

"You're causing me a lot of problems jerk." He sneered.

I scoffed, then formed my bazooka.

He raised an eye. "You're stupider than I thought! How can you expect to beat me by doing the same thing you always do?"

Then, instead of aiming it at him, I aimed it at one of the buildings.

Specifically, that first building covered in spinning pinwheels.

He raised an eyebrow. "What on Earth are you…"

"_Stop __him!_" The female voice shouted.

-KABOOM-

I detonated the building. Pinwheels were blown from the walls as the building crumbled to rubble.

Jacob seemed to flinch. "What are you…"

"I got yer number, that's what I got buddy!" I shouted, pointing my finger at him. "You're a lying son of a bitch!"

I picked up the pinwheel. "You aren't a logia type after all!"

He seemed shocked at this accusation, and replied hastily with a high pitched, "WHAT? YES I AM!"

"NO YOU AIN'T!" I shouted back and broke the pinwheel. "I don't know exactly how, but you can't become the wind! Only control it. Which in retrospect is a pretty bad power to have in a place that has no wind. So you use these hundreds of pinwheels to create a strong wind for you to use against your enemies!"

Then I charged him with my fist held high. "Which means…I CAN BEAT YOU!"

He took a step back to prepare another air blast, but I flashed forward with a Flash Step.

-BAM-

I socked the little bastard right in the gut and sent him forward.

"You had me pretty fooled there little man. But you forgot one thing…I'M SCREAVER D. BARTEL! I'M ONLY TEMPORARALY STUPID!"

He remained standing, his hair was over his eyes.

I was getting pretty proud of myself for figuring him out, which I admit made me a bit cocky.

He drew his sword.

His eyes grew full of resentment.

-WHOOSH-

He moved so fast I barely had a chance to defend myself.

My bazooka arm deflected his blade, then with his other hand he grabbed my bazooka.

-ZZZZZZT-

I had not idea what he did, but suddenly my bazooka arm was full of pain.

"YEOOOOW!"

I fell to the ground writhing in pain, then he stabbed downward. I had to roll out of the way to dodge it.

From the ground I spun trying to kick him away, but he just leaped and tried to stab me over and over again.

My bazooka arm was in pain! I had no idea why. It was like I had been struck by electricity, like when I had jumped into that electrically charged river.

I got to my feet and blocked his blade again, but he did the exact same thing again.

But this time I got a closer look at it.

After he _tazzed_ me, and I was writhing in pain again,

the palm of his hand seemed to be smoking a little bit.

"How did…_OW_…how did you do that?"

He tightened his fist and smiled.

"Yeah, you're pretty smart to see through my little trick. The only one ever in fact. But NO one can figure this one out."

He held up his hand. "Soul Menace. This is the power of a true miser."

Soul Menace. I remember that move.

"So you really are a Demon Weapon. You have to be by how you're reacting to this power. I use my own soul wavelength as a weapon against another."

I scoffed. "I know what it does. You resonate with yer own soul and project it into another's body."

He picked up his sword. "Well Nina…do you know this guy?"

The sword was quiet.

"_Why __ask __me __that?_" It said sadly. "_I __didn__'__t __even __know __there __were __more __like __me. __I __thought __I __was __the __only __one._"

"You can say that again." I said.

"Well, he's still related to you. But we can't let him get in the way…" Jacob said.

"In the way of what? Serving that huge prick of a God you call? For what reason? Cause he'll _protect _you or whatever? He's lied to two of his priests already, what makes you any different?"

"SHUT UP!" Jacob shouted and swung his blade at me. "It's none of your business!"

"_Right!_" The blade shouted in agreement. "_Eneru __will __make __sure __we __life __a __peaceful __life! __No __more __running! __No __more __bad __people __chasing __us!__He __says __he__'__ll __make __them __all __GO __AWAY!_"

Jacob stabbed the ground and closed his eyes.

Then they both glowed.

"_SOUL __REASONANCE_!"

_Oh boy…_

-SHING-

Once he pulled the blade out of the ground, it grew twice it's size.

Blue designs formed on it's long blade, and the hilt became even wider with jewels and things I couldn't even describe.

I decided to meet mono e mono.

I focused myself.

Then I began to glow.

"DEMON…"

My bazooka grew.

"DEMON…HUNTER!"

It pulsed and grew to it's demon hunting form.

I aimed it at them.

Jacob pulled his blade back, ready to make a sweeping motion.

"ANGEL'S MIGHT!"

"DEMON BUSTER!"

-**SWISH-**

**-KABOOM-**

Two masses of energy were launched at each other: one blue and white the other black and red.

I braced myself for the two blasts to create a shockwave of some sort.

Except for one problem.

When my blast connected with his…it just…fizzled out.

It went bye-bye.

And the light was still coming towards me.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

I had no choice but to launch myself sideways out of it's path.

The blast roared by me, barely missing me.

A few strands of energy made several cuts on my left arm, but it didn't bleed.

The wave proceeded to cut a hole in the building behind me, and cutting a hole in the cloud net.

_WHAT THE HELL? My attack did nothing!_

-CLICK-

I smacked my forehead in frustration.

_How __can __I __be __so __stupid? __Demon __Hunter __only __destroys __corrupt __energy. __That __attack __was __clearly __pure, __what __with __the __white __and __blue __and __all __that._

Then I thought for a moment.

_Then how could it have hit Panty if she was…not the time for explanation!_

I had to think of how to deal with two synchronizing souls at the moment.

_Wait…I can synchronize with myself right? Can't I just use a non-Demon Hunting version like they're doing?_

Jacob prepared his blade for another attack.

It was worth a shot. Though Michael wasn't here at the moment he couldn't help me.

I knew I could do it on my own.

I focused my mind, imagined a new bazooka.

Something not so sinister: silver maybe.

And a cross. Maybe a cross on it to make it more saintly.

I had it pictured in my mind.

And then…

-**BOOOOOOM-**

I felt an eruption engulf my arm, but it did not hurt.

And the purple light it was giving off changed.

Out of the smoke rose a new bazooka: silver, sleek, no studs on the sides and a large cross stretching from one end to the other.

"Now that's what I'm talkin' bout."

"ANGEL'S MIGHT!"

Jacob swung his blade at me again like a baseball bat.

Another wave of power was flying at me.

I rose my gun at it: it was surprisingly light as a feather.

"SOUL REASONANCE! SAINT BUSTER!"

-**KABOOM-**

This blast has similar colors to Jacob's attack, but it was a more focused blast than Jacob's was.

And when these two collided, it was Jacob's attack that broke.

"BWAAAAAAAH!"

-**BOOOOOOOOOM-**

The entire area was engulfed in a white light.

And then…ended.

The ground had been torn apart by this attack.

The sheer power of it all almost overwhelmed me.

Jacob was laying out, covered from head to toe in cuts and wounds, defeated.

_Kind of have mixed feelings for beating up a child._

His blade lied next to him.

I stumbled over to it, then leaned down to pick it up. But it glowed a pink light and grew into a humanoid shape.

A tired and wounded little girl, with long black hair, covered Jacob's body with her own.

"Don't hurt him! You won, just…let him live." She pleaded.

I leaned over to her, she closed her eyes ready to die.

-SMACK-

I whacked her over the head.

"What the hell do you take me for? I never planned on killing either of you!" I shouted.

She rubbed her head in pain, but I just smiled.

"You guys weren't listening to me, so I had to kick your asses in order you make you listen!"

"What kind of bull-headed logic is that?" She said in disbelief.

"MY LOGIC!"

She flinched again.

I looked down at the girl. "You two need to leave this place. Eneru's nothing but trouble, got it? He'll kill you, me, those guys down the street, everybody."

She sniffed her nose; tears had begun to form in her eyes. "We have no where else to go."

She tried to wipe them away, but they kept flowing. "Eneru…promised me and Jacob…a home. We've been on the run for…I don't know how long. He only let us be his priests because he thought we had the powers of logia."

I raised an eyebrow.

_If he's an all-knowing God, then how could a bunch of kids just fool him into thinking such a lie?_

_Unless…he was just toying with them from the start._

"He ate the Gust Gust Fruit. Jacob can only control wind, not become it. And he can only control wind that already exists, can't create it."

I nodded. "Look, I don't care what Eneru told you, got it? He's full of crap!"

She nodded. "We had no where else to go!"

Then she broke down into full crying and sobbing, just like a ten year old would.

I pat her on the back, trying to be calming. But I don't think I was very good at it.

"Now look here and listen!" I ordered.

She looked up at me.

"Me and my crew; we're gonna kick Eneru's ass! Then you'll have nothing to worry about!"

She shook her head. "We can't stay here! All the people…they'll hate us for what we've done as priests."

"Then go to the Blue Sea!"

She paused at this idea…as if she never thought about it.

"Sure the place has storms, Marine soldiers, and lots of other nasty things. But one thing it's got lots of, and everywhere you look, is wind! That's how our ships are powered!"

Her eyes grew wide. "Really? They have…lots of wind?"

"Hell yeah they do!" I cheered. "Tell you what, after we beat Eneru, you make your way to the Blue Sea. Trust me, if it's where I came from, it's got to be some kind of awesome."

I gave her a crooked smile, and she seemed to feel a lot better.

Then she held out her hand.

"Promise me! Promise you'll beat him good."

I admired her style, and shook her hand. "I'm starting to like my kind a whole lot more than before."

-**BOOM**-

In the distance, I could see the giant snake roaring and attacking the ground.

_NAMI!_

"SHIT! GOTTA GO!"

I leaped from the girl and looked back. "I'LL REMEMBER THE PROMISE! I SWEAR!"


	96. Chapter 96

The Sky's Falling Down

Showdown In the Lower Ruins

I hopped up a few buildings to get a good look at the situation.

Wiper kept firing his bazooka at the snake, but it didn't seem to phase it.

Even Zoro's sword cuts weren't making a dent in that thing's skin.

I armed my bazooka.

-KABOOM-

I fired at the thing's face.

"COUGH UP MY WOULD-BE GIRLFRIEND AND MY CAPTAIN YOU STUPID SNAKE!"

-RUMBLE-

The ground began to rumble.

In fact, it began to shake violently.

"WHAT THE…" I could hear Zoro shout.

Bright blue light began to shine through the cracks in the ground, then more and more cracks began to form.

Then the entire place was being lit up by bright blue light.

And it became harder to breathe. Until finally everything was engulfed in an amazingly brlight blue light.

When the light died down, I looked down.

"HOLY SHIT!"

The entire area had begun to break down and crumble, and we were FALLING FROM THE GIANT BEAN STOCK HUNDREDS OF STORIES IN THE AIR AND OMG I'MA GONNA DIEEEE!

I looked around: rubble, stone, Zoro who had taken a hold of Chopper, Wiper just staring down in shock, and above me…

"AAAAAAAH! FLYING FUCKING SNAAAAAKE!"

It's mouth was gapping wide right above me.

Suddenly I wanted to fall even faster.

I frantically tried to _swim_ away in the air from the giant beast, but it didn't seem to be working.

So I fired a shot from my leg to knock me sideways.

-KABOOM-

I moved a bit, at this point I was just above it's snout.

Then I took a hold of it's upper lip.

_I'M GONNA BE SICK, I'M GONNA BE SICK, I'M GONNA BE SICK!_

Suddenly, I heard a high pitch scream, a rev of an engine.

"NAMI!"

She was on the waver. She shot right out of the snake's mouth, but then quickly began to fall with the rest of us.

"NAMI!" I shouted, tears rolling up my face. "I THOUGHT YOU GOT EATED!"

"HOW'D WE GET SO HIGH UP?" She yelled in fear.

"I HAVE NO IDEA!" Gan Fall, who was falling right besides her, shouted curiously.

He barked an order at his bird (didn't notice him either, weird) and the bird flew right back into the snake's mouth.

I gripped the upper lip with my left hand and pulled up.

I planted both feet on the front of the snake's mouth.

I activated both cannons.

"BAZOOKA STEP!"

-**KABOOM-**

I launched myself at them.

I didn't move particularly fast, but it was faster than we were falling to say the least. But I wasn't going to make it in time for me to slow down with another bazooka blast.

I had no choice.

"MICHAEL! HELP US!" I screamed as loud as I could.

-POP-

My face hit something soft. But my speed didn't stop.

My face seemed to be covered in a see-through mesh.

I soon realized I was encased in a giant, white see though bubble.

I could also see both Nami and Gan Fall were in matching bubbles.

"WHAT IS THIS STRANGE SPHERE?" Gan Fall shouted.

"HUAAAAAAH!" Nami continued to scream.

I had no idea what he did, but it DIDN'T SEEM TO HELP!

The ground got closer and closer, and I closed my eyes, ready to embrace death.

-THUD-

I touched the ground and…stopped.

The bubble didn't pop or anything. I just…stopped.

Both Nami and Gan Fall landed just the same.

"How did we…" the old man said.

Nami screamed again. "WE'RE TRAPPED!"

I looked up and saw a city's worth of rubble about to fall on us.

"Oh for the love of…"

-BOOM-

It landed around me, the bubble still not popping.

I'm pretty sure it landed directly above me, but the bubble didn't pop.

Soon I was completely engulfed in rubble, inside my little bubble.

And then…it stopped.

Then the bubble…popped.

I pushed away at the rubble.

It cleared pretty quickly.

I stuck my head out at the ruined…ruins.

I couldn't see anyone else.

Then the rubble began to move.

First came Zoro, who was still holding an unconscious Chopper.

"Swordsman!" A familiar voice called to him.

It was Robin, who stepped out from a fallen archway.

"This is NOT my day!" He said.

"Speak for yourself!" I shouted to him.

He seemed pretty roughed up by the fall.

_HEY! Didn't you give Zoro a…magic bubble?_

_I __could __only __give __it __to __a __few __people._ Michael's voice said. _He __survived, __leave __it __at __that._

_How's Mugen?_

_He's in stable condition. I left him in a secure location._

"Don't tell me both of you fell down here with all of this?" She said in disbelief.

Zoro was already supporting a humongous wall with one hand, and he pushed it off in one big push. "YEAH! I DID! AND IT ALMOST KILLED ME!"

"Yeah, me too." I said, trying to fake pain.

"I'm amazed it didn't." She said. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah." He said. "Good to see ya Robin."

I stepped out from the rubble. "Whatever."

Zoro took a look around. "Where are we? What is this place?"

"It's the city of gold we've been looking for." She informed us.

I looked around. "Seems to be missing the gold."

"Did you find the treasure?" Zoro asked her.

She shook her head. "I didn't. There's no evidence that gold was ever hear."

"Ow." I heard Nami from a few meter's from behind me.

"NAMI!"

I immediately turned around and ran straight for the voice.

There she was, sitting on the clouds unharmed.

"NAMI NAMI NAMI! THANK THE LORD YOU'RE NOT EATED BY THE SNAKE!"

I was about to hug her, but she held up one hand and made me stop.

"I'm fine. Thank you." She said politely.

I shook my head rapidly and looked at the old man.

"What were those strange clouds?" He asked.

"Michael did that."

Nami looked surprised. "That guy you were with before?"

I nodded my head.

She looked down in sadness. "We left Luffy and Aisa behind. I hope they're ok."

The old man put his helmet on. "Pier has gone to fetch your friends. And when push comes to shove, he's a very reliable bird or horse."

"Hey, where did we end up?" Nami asked. "What is this place?"

I held a hand out a hand to help her up. "It's a lower part of the ruins. Zoro and Robin and Chopper are here."

I helped her to her feet.

"I've traveled all across the Upper Yard in my lifetime, but I've never seen this place before."

_How could you miss a giant freaking bean stalk in the middle of the forest?_

He took a moment to look around the ruins.

From what remained was pretty impressive.

Huge ancient buildings and stone idols. Pretty impressive work if I do say so myself.

But the real crown jewel was the biggest building that looked like a big flight of stairs.

An ANCIENT flight of stairs.

That giant snake had woken up.

_I'm tired of these motherfuckin' snakes eating my motherfuckin' crew!_

_..._but it wasn't attacking anybody.

It was looking for something.

It moved it's head up and down the streets, looking in buildings.

_I remember…when it was just a little snake it lived in this place with the ancient warriors._

_Must __be __looking __for __it__'__s __friends._ Michael suggested. _Some __animals __don__'__t __have __a __good __sense __of __time._

It threw it's head back and roared in sadness.

"I think it's crying." Nami said, hiding behind a wall.

Suddenly, a ball of blue electricity formed over it's head.

"EL THOOOOR!"

-**BOOM-**

A humongous column of thunder engulfed the snake.

"LUFFY!"

"NAMI!" Zoro shouted. "OH NO SHE'S DEAD!"

"She's right here ya numb nuts!" I said to him.

"Hi Robin!" She shouted.

Zoro just started sputtering in disbelief.

"Good to see you're ok, Navigator." Robin said to her.

"What about Luffy? And for that matter, Aisa? Mugen's not gonna be happy with me…"

"That idiots always been a pain in my ass! Is he aware of how much of a hassle he is?" Zoro said in anger, pointing Chopper's limp body at us.

""HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW?" Nami shouted back.

The snake's charred body began to fall over.

_And there gonna feel that in the morning._

-**BWOOOM-**

Wiper's flame bazooka sounded in the ruins.

Zoro, Gan Fall, Robin and I nodded, knowing what to do.

We prepared ourselves to face Eneru.

He was on top a floating cloud bubble looking down at us, Wiper was staring him down.

He looked back at us and sneered.

"Well done." Eneru said, sounding very pleased with what he saw. "I'm happy so many of you have made it this far. I extend my welcome to you survivors."

He let out a sinister laugh before continuing. "And now the fun truly begins. This is a survival game to see how many people out of an original 88, including myself, are still standing after three hours on this island. The last person left will of course be the winner…"

He paused on the word "winner."

"Among you are a few participants that entered late in the game, but I've decided to allow them to stay. It will make it all the more interesting…"

He took another breath. "Now the seven of us will continue on in the final stage of the game."

Wiper seemed to look around, wondering who the seventh was.

I assume that Zoro and Robin and the old man assumed he meant that Nami was the seventh.

But I knew he meant Michael.

"In just a few minutes the three hours will be up." Eneru said. "Which means the eight people we have present here are one too many."

Now Robin and Zoro were getting suspicious.

"The one thing I know is that God's prophecy will never falter, because he is absolute. I am curious as to how this person is going to die…"

"_The __only __dieing __that __will __happen __here __is __you're own, __Eneru._"

A blue light jumped out of my chest, freaking the crap out of me, and then changed into Michael.

His suit seemed to have repaired itself, and he had a new pair of sunglasses.

Everyone seemed shocked about Michael's appearance.

I was freaking the fuck out that EVERYONE COULD SEE MICHAEL!

But Michael's face showed he was not in the mood for my paranoia.

Eneru looked pleased. "Ah, so nice of you to finally join us…Michael."

_That did it._

Robin immediately repeated quietly his name, then gave me an untrusting glare.

I gave her a look that either said _sorry_ or _not __now __woman!_

"Who is this guy?" Zoro asked.

Eneru answered his question. "He is an old friend of mine of course! Despite out past…disagreements…"

"Save it you psychopathic egocentric maniac." Michael insulted him. "You know where my loyalties lie. And that's anybody that isn't you!"

"So…you're Michael…" Robin said to him.

He turned to her, and tipped his hat. "Pleased to finally meet you're acquaintance."

"Not the time OR the place Michael!" I told him.

Eneru slightly frowned. "Well, despite that we still have a game to finish. We have one extra person in our midst that must die."

He looked at all of us. "Will you all fight each other? Will you gang up on one of the weaker ones? Of course, you could all resist your fate and force me to pick."

We all didn't say a word.

"What do you wanna do guys?" Zoro asked both me and Robin.

"I'm not going to kill anyone." She said.

"I won't either." He said.

"Count me out." I said.

"Same goes for me." Michael said.

"I'm not going to compete in your sick game." Wiper refused.

And finally, Gan Fall said, "And I too, refuse to take part."

Then we all looked back at Nami.

She screamed in fear. "Why do you have to drag me into this!"

Then, in perfect sync, Zoro raised his katana, Wiper his flame bazooka, Gan Fall his spear, Robin her hand, Michael his silver sword, and I my golden bazooka directly at Eneru.

"**You're the only one dying today!"**

Eneru laughed.

"Insolent fools…you dare to threaten me?"

I could care less if I got out of this is one piece. If I got a chance to take this bastard out, I was going to take it.

"Just listen to yourselves! AHAAAAAHAAHAHAHAAAAA!"

He wouldn't stop his mocking laughter at us.

But when he finally did, he said, "I'm impressed. You have no idea what you're up against."

He gripped his pole and it sparked with electricity.

"Even the six of you together don't have a chance against me."

He turned around, and faced the sky. "You cannot comprehend the extent of my powers and what I'm truly capable of!"

His arms turned blue.

"Look at you! An elderly buffoon wanting peace. A warrior who single-mindedly seeks his homeland. Thieves from the Blue Sea who are only concerned with treasures. And a runaway minion of a cult of foolish old Gods who's mind has been twisted by lifetimes of corruption."

None of us faltered at his insults.

"All of you for one reason or another seek to save this wretched place called Skypiea. But you cannot, because this nation is fundamentally flawed."

I took a peak at the rest of us, and Gan Fall finally snapped.

"I refuse to stand here and listen to such nonsense! Now tell me where the Divine Warriors are! AND WHAT EXACTLY IS YOUR GOAL HERE TODAY!"

"You've toyed with this world long enough _Eneru_," Michael scolded him, "It is about time you stop playing a role that does not belong to you and tell us you real goals!"

"Why…an ascension, my old friends." He said.

"An ascension?" they both asked.

"Yes. An a return to my rightful place." He said, standing up on his cloud ball. "_Infinitas_ _Animus.__"_

"You know that is just myth! Stop basing your actions on fairy tales!" Michael shouted at him.

"Quiet Michael. I am going to my rightful place in this world." He said.

"What's that?" Gan Fall asked. "Are you saying that you're leaving Skypiea?"

"That's right. I will soon leave this dreadful wasteland." He said. "On the island where I grew up there were legends regarded as God's home."

I knew what he was doing. He was repeating the same old line that Eneru would say if he was here. He had to play the part of Eneru, despite what Michael and I already knew.

I had to stand there and listen to him, go on and on about how the Sky Islands are unnatural, and that he must destroy them, as it is _God__'__s _duty or whatever bullshit Eneru believes. He also spoke of how he and his men stormed Gan Fall's stronghold, killed and enslaved his men, and forced them to build his giant ship.

Gan Fall was getting so angry for an old man.

Then, he told the old man what happened to them…

Gan Fall was…torn.

"They were good men, with families on Angel Island…"

"Yes…" Eneru said. "I suppose I shall have to…burry their families along with them."

"You are…"

I had grit my teeth long enough.

"**A ****DEVIIIIIIL!**"

Gan Fall charged Eneru with his spear.

_That stupid old man's gonna get roasted!_

Eneru tossed his staff in the air.

The old man's spear went straight through Eneru.

Then Eneru put one finger above and bellow Gan Fall's head.

"10 million…20 million…BODY!"

-**BZZZZZT-**

The scene of Gan Fall being electrocuted was…horrifying.

He was being lit up from the inside out.

It made my skin crawl.

"God does exist in this word! And that God…IS ME!"

Gan Fall fell, charred and lifeless.

_How…how can we beat him?_

_We __can__'__t. __It__'__s __Luffy__'__s __job, __remember?_ Michael said.

_I DON'T CARE! HE'S SURE TAKING HIS FUCKING TIME ISN'T HE? There has to be a way…_

I looked at my left arm.

_There HAS to be!_

I gripped it tightly.

_If only…If only I had…_

Then I looked at my arm from a different angle.

_Eneru…he's not a God. He's just got…Devil fruit powers._

"It is time." He said. "All I have foreseen has come to be."

_He has devil fruit powers…he is weak when he touches the sea._

"The six of you should feel honored to have survived this long."

Michael opened both hands, his sword disappeared.

Four white spheres appeared in an arch over his head.

"I'm done playing games Eneru. You die now!"

I never saw Michael more angry and impulsive than I did then.

He fired the balls at Eneru.

One by one they passed through his body.

"Dear Michael," He said, "I can counteract all your abilities. There is no hope for you…"

He drew his sword. "THE HELL THERE ISN'T!"

He slashed his blade through Eneru's golden rod, cutting it in half.

"You broke my favorite staff…" Eneru said, mildly displeased.

Michael was full of rage. It didn't matter his sword cuts were passing though Eneru's body.

Eneru flipped around to his backside.

Michael vanished into smoke.

"I know where you are…" he said.

Two small spheres appeared again.

"Saint Boomer!"

-KABOOM-

It didn't affect Eneru.

Michael finally appeared back in solid form: this time with a sword in one hand and a gun in another.

He slashed and fired and slashed and dodged, but all he seemed to do was make Eneru tired.

Eneru had both halves of his staff pressed against Michael's neck.

"Good bye…old friend."

-BZZZZZT-

The instant that happened, Michael vanished.

All that happened was his rod seemed to melt together back to it's original form.

_Michael! You ok?_

…_Can__'__t__…__use__…__any more __energy. __Need __rest._ He said.

Eneru laughed.

"Now then. Come along, you there will join me!" He said to us.

He invited us to _bask __in __the __eternal __who-ha __and __build __a__ whatsit __nation __and __lived __in __the __blah __blah __blah_ I really wanted to punch him in the face.

"And, what will you do if we refuse?" Robin asked.

He seemed confused. "But why? Why refuse to join me?"

"Cuz yer a psychopathic prick; whose trying to kill innocent people for sport ya dickhead." I stated.

"I have no doubt that you can destroy this entire nation in one fell swoop." She ensured him. "But if you try and destroy all this…won't you be destroying what you cherish?"

She had that scheming look about her.

"Stop Robin…" I warned her.

"You mean the Golden Bell?" He asked.

"That's right." She said.

"HAHAHA! Oh don't worry." He said. "No need. I've already made arrangements. Based on your travels in Skypiea I believe I know where the bell is located."

She faltered, he face showed worry.

"That's right." He said. "I know what you're thinking. It won't be long before I have the bell."

He looked at her with smug indifference. "You seemed surprised. Did you really think that you, a mere human, could get the better of me?"

This part I remember: Robin get's shot through the head by a lightning bolt.

Pretty gruesome if you ask me.

But…how could I stop it?

He raised his hand and pointed it at her.

Her face resembled a deer in the headlights.

"**There's nothing I hate more in this world than a cold, calculating woman!"**

"**ROBIN!"**

Instinct took over my normal train of thought.

In a flash, I had stepped in front of Robin, assumed a guard position, and extended both arms forward.

"SCREAVER!"

-**BZZZZZZT-**

The bolt of lightning hit me, in the worst place.

The left side of my chest. To my heart.

"You think you can block this bolt?" Eneru taunted. "No one can escape God's judgement!"

He stopped his bolt attack.

My clothes sizzled.

Everyone looked to me to see if I was even alive.

And…I was.

In fact, strangely, only a few parts of my body felt tingly.

But my chest was vibrating, my left side especially.

I looked up and laughed my head off, mocking Eneru.

He was not pleased.

I looked at him and shouted, "YOU CALL THAT LIGHTNING? Give me a break!"

I looked at my chest pocket.

I removed…the gameboy.

_This is the second time I've ever heard of a gameboy saving a man's life._

It was vibrating and creating a lot of static.

And then…stopped.

_Thanks Damien._

I put the device back in my pocket and smirked.

"Now…let's get SERIOUS!"


	97. Chapter 97

The Wrath of Eneru

The Plan Finally Moves Forward

_I got no plan, no chance, and no clue what I'm doing._

_SO I'M GONNA WING IT BABY!_

"FOR DAMIEEEEEEEN!"

I charged forward, with my left arm extended.

Zoro charged with me.

I took a leap and whirled my fist.

"STRONG…**LEFT!**"

-BOOM-

My fist made a crater in the stone floor. Eneru used his staff and poll-vaulted over me…

-CLINK-

…where he met Zoro's blades head on.

"You got skill." He said.

"And you're…out of your mind!" Zoro yelled.

I turned around and swung my fist at him again.

-WHOOSH-

I almost hit Zoro!

And he almost hit me!

We were able to evade each other's blows as Eneru swung above us with his staff.

_We gotta get rid of that staff. He has enough power without weapons._

"BURN BAZOOKA!"

-BWOOSH-

The blue blast propelled towards Eneru above us.

Eneru just laughed.

"_Kari__…_"

-**BWOOOSH**-

Everything was engulfed in a bright light.

And Eneru was perfectly fine after the light died.

"How did he neutralized the bazooka's blast?" Wiper said in awe.

Eneru twirled to safety and scoffed. "You still don't get it do you? You're energy doesn't even register to me."

I looked at the ground. There was a large chunk of rubble that could be…

_AWESOME IDEA TIME!_

I jumped to the side and swooped it up with one hand. It was almost as big as me.

"I'm more powerful than you can comprehend!" Eneru said.

I got ready to throw it.

"The time is near…prepare yourselves. Soon those who remain will set off for the endless Vearth together. Do you even understand what a rare privilege this is?"

"I GOT YER VEARTH RIGHT HERE YOU QUEER ASS BITCH!"

I chucked it as hard as I could.

Then I fired a shot at it.

"SCATTER SHOT!"

The rubble was broken up and turned into a huge cloud of smatter debris and dust, still flying at him at high speeds.

Eneru just fell to the ground, easily dodging it.

But Zoro took this as a chance to strike, charging at the spot where Eneru would fall.

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR SO CALLED DREAM WORLD!" He cursed.

"You need a lesson." Eneru said calmly.

I launched myself at him, whirling my fist at him.

"STROOOOOONG…"

"Soon your bodies will know the power of God…"

Zoro had his swords in an X, ready to double slice him.

And I had my left arm extended ready to punch a hole though his…

…

…_I__'__m __a __bloomin __idiot __aren__'__t __I?_

-WHOOSH-

Both our attacks flew though a bright blue energy that sparked with power.

And instead, they destroyed the pillar directly behind him.

He hovered in mid air.

"I possess a tremendous power that you puny humans can never hope to overcome!"

He whirled around, and gripped both of Zoro's swords in one hand, and my wrist in another.

"Can you feel it now?" He said with glee. "The despair?"

"If one loses all hope it is not unlike losing one's life. BWAHAHAAHAAA!"

-**BZZZZBZBZZBZBZZZZZZZZZT-**

Pure electricity was pumped through my body.

…There are no words…well maybe a few…

Like burning, and needles in your blood stream, and like pouring liquid hot metal on your insides and out.

Both Zoro and I screamed in pain louder than I ever could scream before.

"People fear death above ALL else." Eneru concluded, and released us from his grip.

Then he smashed my head in a stone wall.

…Ouch.

I couldn't hear anything, seeing as my head was smashed into a stone wall.

_Ok ok…that hurt like no other but…I'm ok._

_The __worse __of __it __is __over._ Michael said.

_NO IT'S NOT! That asshole's still breathing!_

I finally got the strength to yank my head out of the wall.

I turned to see Wiper…grasping Eneru between his legs with both hands on Eneru's chest.

"REJECT!"

-**BOOOOOOM-**

I didn't know what he did, but a huge shockwave was emitted, and Eneru was sent to the ground…dead.

I'm serious. Eye's rolled into the back of his head, blood dripping from the mouth, chest crushed…DEAD!

Wiper stood above is smoking body panting heavily.

_Wait…he isn't head yet!_

"Why are you just standing there? He isn't dead yet!" I shouted.

I looked at Robin. "DO SOMETHING!"

She seemed to have recovered from her post _I __could __have __gotten __hurt_ shock and crossed her arms.

-BABOOM-

Eneru's chest bumped, a blue light pulsed in his body.

Six arms appeared around his body, and gripped his neck and spine.

"Seis Fleur…"

-BABOOM-

"HURRY!"

His body began to move.

Robin's arms tried to push Eneru's body into a cracking position, but he still managed to get to his feet.

"…CLUTCH!"

-**BZZZZZZZZZT-**

Eneru's body formed into pure lightning, the arms still attached to him.

Robin got the full effect. Her body was engulfed in lightning, like she was being electrocuted on a different level.

-THUD-

She fell to the ground burnt like all the rest.

_Robin...well I tried._

Eneru stood tall and proud, like he had just woken up from a nap.

Wiper was bloody and shaken, and fell to his knees in fear.

Eneru wiped his mouth. "It's not that people fear God. It is that God is fear itself."

I trembled in fear…

…I couldn't believe I had been brought to this point…

…Or maybe it could have been my hypoglycemia kicking in.

I was weak…my body shook…

_How can we beat this guy? How can Luffy be so cruel as to let us all get to this point?_

_It__'__s __not __his __fault._ Michael tried to defend him.

_YES IT IS! It's his fault for being so fucking stupid and getting eaten by that fucking snake! He's the only one who's able to beat this motherfucking guy!_

-CLICK-

No…he wasn't.

_Michael…can you do something for me?_

…_I suppose. I'm not able to fight anyone…_

_No…I need you to find someone…_

_I __can__'__t __do __anything __about __Luffy._ He said. _He__'__ll __arrive __on __his __own __time. __I __can__'__t __do __anything __to __change __that. __Besides, __Eneru __would __detect __me __before __I__got __to __the __snake._

_No…not Luffy. I need you to find Jake and Nina._

…_Why?_ He asked.

_Jake has the power of Soul Menace. If that can damage my impervious bazooka arm, then…maybe it can negate Eneru's Demon Fruit powers._

…_That__'__s__…__genius._ He said plainly.

_I know. Thanks._

…_Partly __I__'__m __being __sarcastic._ He said. _But __what __have __we __got __to __loose __at __this __point?_

_I'm guessing Eneru will be able to detect if you leave my body._

_Yes__…__but __if __you __provide __a __worthy __distraction, __he__'__ll __focus __on __you __while __I __get __enough __time __to __disappear __from __his __radar._ Michael said.

I had to create a distraction.

Wiper groaned painfully, then began to speak. "800 years ago…proud Shandorian warriors fought for this city…they fought to the death to protect it. I…am a descendant of those warriors…one day our homeland was taken away from us. For 400 years we've carried the great warrior Calgara's injured pride…we've sought to return our homeland to its rightful place for generations. And now that…I've finally made it…"

He rose slowly, barely alive, and said with determination, "You're standing…in…_-gasp-_my…way."

Eneru twirled his staff up high, ready to hit Wiper.

_NOW MICHAEL!_

I fired a bazooka shot at his arm, knocking the staff clean out of his hand.

Then I did what came natural.

Shout and yell and curse like a sailor and pissed him the fuck off!

"YOU LOOPY EARED TRIPLE A BATTERY! YOU FAGGOTY LOOKING BAGGY PANT WEARIN SOMBITCH! YOU AIN'T A GOD, YOU A LOSER POSESSING ANOTHER LOSER WITH A FUCKING DEVIL FRUIT POWER! YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL AT AAAAALL! THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WITH DEVIL FRUIT POWERS, AND THEY AIN'T GOING AROUND WALKING ON FUCKING WATER! WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE? PISS OFF YOU FUCKING JOKE! YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE ME A STATIC SHOCK LET ALONE KILL ME! YOU SUCK! YOU BLOW TOO! PISS OFF DICK FACE! **FUCK****FUCK****FUCK****FUCK****FUCK****FUUUUUUUUUUCK ****YOOOOOOOOOU!**"

Hell I even broke out into song and dance.

_Do you're lobes hang low,_

_Do they wobble to and fro,_

_Can you tie them in a knot?_

_Can you tie them in a bow?_

I think Michael had already left, but I didn't let up until I was sure he was gone.

Eneru was looking rather…displeased.

"That mouth of yours has offended me for the last time." He said, with a tinge of anger.

I cracked an evil smile. "I got your offence right here, you fucking donkey."

I looked over at Nami, who had a look of sheer terror at what I was doing.

_I did my duty. As long as Michael can find that little runt, I just have to last until he gets here._

I hadn't thought that far yet, but what I have formulated was that Michael would somehow replicate that power for me, then I could use it to do some damage to Eneru.

…I didn't even know if that was possible, but it was all I got left.

Eneru's body cracked with sparks.

He jumped back to pick up his staff.

Then he tapped one of his…bongo drums.

He seemed to be building up electricity in the bongo drum.

"200,000,000 volts…"

The electricity seemed to build into his hand, around his gold rod.

Then he lifted it over his head.

It looked like he was holding…a big lightning bolt.

"ZEUS!"

I took out my gameboy.

-WHOOSH-

That huge golden rod of death arched like a javelin right at me.

I instinctively held up my gameboy in defense.

_NO! I'm going to destroy it!_

-CLACK-

The gold rod hit the screen and…

…stopped.

Then the little piece of…whatever it was started to vibrate.

And all the electricity was sucked out of the god rod and into the gameboy.

Eneru was shocked, I was freaking amazed.

"HA! WHATCHA GONNA DO 'BOUT THAT YA…"

Then…it went all down hill from there.

The gameboy trembled.

Then it began to steam in my hand.

I tried to let go but, like at the lake, my arm wouldn't move.

_I think it absorbed too much lightning…_

Small sparks jumped out, I didn't know what to do.

Eneru took this opportunity to attack.

He appeared right above me, his hand at my chest.

"Good bye…Screaver Bartel…"

-**BZZZZZT**-

It was like he defibrillated me across the floor and into another building.

And…needless to say it got even worse.

Even if I had managed to pry myself out of the wall, the gameboy…

-**BZZZZZZZZZT**-

It went off like a time-bomb in my hand.

…I didn't stay conscious after that.

And since Michael was off trying to find Jake, I was left alone…

…In my consciousness…

* * *

…It wasn't a good feeling I could tell you that…

_I…lost…it's all my fault…I knew I couldn't beat him! HELL! At least I did something! Luffy went off and got himself eaten like an idiot! Does he even realize how much grief he caused us? Nami, Zoro, Gan Fall, Chopper, even Robin! Because…because…OOOH I'm so angry at that guy!_

-THUD-

I fell to the stone ground.

"…ow…"

I couldn't move. I had dropped the gameboy.

_Need to wake up…get moving…where's Nami?_

I moved my head up to see.

Gan Fall, Robin, Zoro, all burnt to a crisp.

Nami was nowhere to be found.

_She…she probably went with…Eneru…to protect herself._

Nami will be safe, seeing as how she can seriously kiss someone's ass.

But she's still in danger.

I think at this point, I'm come to accept Nami's way of doing things.

She will do anything to maintain her well being.

And I know that she knows it's only temporary…right?

Couldn't dwell on that anyways.

-BOOM-

The snake…

I saw it's burnt face lying on the top of a building.

It's mouth opened…

…And three figures fell out.

Anger pulsed through my body.

_THAT FUCKING JERK!_

I got the strength to ignore the pain, the hunger, and the fatigue and got up.

And slowly walked towards the others.

As soon as I took one step however, Luffy appeared on top of that giant stair case.

"**WE****'****RE ****FREEEEEE!**" He screamed cheerfully, not even realizing what has happened.

_I __am __so __going __to __let __him __have __it_.

In the second step, he leaped off the platform and ran towards the others.

"ZORO!" He screamed. "HEY ZORO! What's wrong with you? How could this have happened?"

"HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED?" I screamed, and then coughed a little blood for good measure.

He saw me, and his eyes got even wider.

"SCREAVER!" He yelled, and ran towards me.

I was ready to hit him, but instead fell into his arms.

"No…homo…"

"Screaver! Tell me! Where's Nami? What happened?" He asked.

I glared at him. "Eneru…was here…you know how long he was here?"

I pushed him, and fell to the ground in pain.

"Ow."

"Eneru?" He asked.

"Where the hell were you?" I said in anger. "Zoro, Robin, Gan Fall, we all got electrocuted by him! He nearly killed us! KILLED US ALL! While you were running around in that snake! HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU GET LOST IN A SNAKE! IT ONLY GOES ONE FUCKING DIRECTION!"

I coughed some more.

Luffy looked at me shamefully.

"Eneru was here…" He repeated.

"WIIIIPER!" A girl's voice shrieked.

Luffy helped me to the…crater in the middle of the street.

Wiper layed there. Burnt even worse than the rest of us.

Aisa was crying over his body.

"It was Eneru!" She screamed. "He's the only one who could have done something like this!"

Luffy pulled her out of the hole. "That bazooka guy. He was pretty strong too, and yet he still fell in this fight."

"Luffy." I said. He looked at me. "Eneru is…a Devil Fruit user. A Logia…like Crocodile. Except he turns into lightning…not sand."

I could see Luffy thinking about this, trying to grasp this new enemy.

"I'm…I'm sorry." He said. "I should have been here."

I shrugged. "I…I'm being too hard on you Luffy. I tried my best and…we all still lost."

His grip got tighter.

Robin gasped for air.

"ROBIN!" Luffy yelled, and ran towards her.

Aisa was still crying.

I tried to put on a smile and tried to comfort her. "Hey, it's ok. He's just unconscious. Besides, you're cousin is just fine."

She looked at me with hopeful eyes. "Really?"

I nodded.

"Our…navigator…" Robin struggled to say. "She went…with him."

Luffy tried to lift her upright, to help her speak.

She told Luffy about what Eneru was planning to do, and he was going to send this island to the ground.

"That's right." Michael said, after she finished.

He appeared out of nowhere, holding an unconscious Jacob, and Nina was clinging to his back.

His face was bruised, bandages wrapped his body under his suit, and his clothes were dirty and tattered.

Luffy looked at him in alarm. "Whoa! Who are you?"

"Relax." I said. "He's a friend. This is Michael. Those are Jacob, and Ninachou."

She looked at us shyly and said, "Hiya."

Michael set Jacob down, and Nina climbed off his back.

Aisa looked at her with worry. "You're…you're one of the priests!"

I raised my arm and told her it was fine.

"If she's with Michael, I'm sure she's alright Aisa." A strange voice said from nowhere.

From behind Michael appeared a bandaged Mugen, using a sword as a walking stick.

Aisa nearly burst into tears of happiness.

"MUUUGGY!"

She jumped into his arms, nearly knocking him over.

"Oh, so that's Muggy." Luffy said, like Aisa had told him about Mugen before this point.

They had a touchy moment.

Michael took Robin from Luffy, and said, "I hope you'll entrust me to look after you're crew while your away. I will do all I can to heal them."

Luffy looked at me, then nodded. "If Screaver trusts you, then I do too."

Luffy looked to the giant beanstalk. "He's probably going after the Golden Bell. He won't destroy this place until he's found it."

"You still need to find him, and Nami." I reminded him.

"Don't worry." Aisa said. "I know where they are. There may be three voices left on this island, but only two of them are close together. It's Eneru, and Nami."

_Who's the third voice?_

…

_It must be that ninth priest._

…

_WE'RE STILL NOOOOOOT DOOOOOHOHOHOHOOOOONE!_

"Aisa. I need you to take me to them…right now." Luffy demanded.

I looked at Mugen. "You're not going to stop her?"

He thought for a moment, then shook his head. "It's pointless to argue with her. Besides…she's our last hope."

"_PIEEEEEEEEEER!_"

Oh yeah…that pink bird/horse thing was there too.

"Now Luffy." I said. "He may be a lightning man, but just remember one thing…you…are a rubber man."

He nodded, yet I could tell he didn't know what I meant.

"I mean that…you can hit him, without worrying about anything. You can't be electrocuted!"

Again, he nodded unknowingly.

I shrugged, and waved my hand. "Just go. GO AND KICK HIS LOUSY ASS!"

After Luffy, Aisa, and Pier went off to go fight Eneru, Michael started to tend the wounded.

Wiper was first, seeing as how his injuries were the worst.

And then…Robin started asking him…questions.

Ohhohohohoho I WAS FREAKING THE FUCK OUUUUUUT!

And Michael's responses were…less than what I had hoped for.

"My name is Michael. I come from another dimension where we act as guides to subconsciously keep certain individuals on the right path of fate."

Well…I'ma goner.

"Really…" Robin said, still straining to sit upright.

He was resting his hands on Wiper's chest, they were glowing blue.

I was busy using Michael's endless supply of bandages to help Jacob.

Ninachou looked over Jacob's unconscious body with worry.

"He isn't dead is he?" I asked unsympathetically.

She frowned at me.

"Sorry, but I need you guy's help." I said. "I need to know how to use the Soul Menace."

She looked confused at me. "And why would you ever need that?"

"I think it's the key to beating Eneru. Despite whatever he may be, he still has a soul. No matter what form he takes on, he still has a soul inside that lightning. I think the Soul Menace could damage him."

Her eyes grew wide with this idea, but soon they returned to disappointment. "It doesn't matter. The only one able to do that is Jacob, and he's not going to be able to fight for a while. Besides, even if he woke up to teach you, Demon Weapon's can't do it. For the longest time I've tried to mimic it, and nothing's ever happened."

I shook my head. "NO! I'm not going to accept that! There has to be a way. What if Luffy fails? Then it'll be on me to finish it. I need a way to fight Eneru!"

"Hmmm…" Jacob groaned.

He turned around a bit, trying to open his eyes.

"JACOB! WAKE YER ASS UP!" I shouted rudely.

"WATCH IT! He's still in pain!"

"HEY! No I'm not!" Jacob shouted back.

We all looked at each other in surprise.

Then all had a little laugh.

"Jacob. Can you teach me the Soul Menace?" I asked him.

He looked at me with confusion. "Well, I don't think I _can_ teach you, and then there's the fact that I might not _want_ to."

I glared evilly at the little boy.

"_I __swear __to __what ever __cruel __deity __that __you __might __possibly __believe __in __that __if __you __don__'__t__…_"

"OK! OK!" He said. "I want to!"

I nodded.

"But…I don't know if I can! Ninachou has tried for a long time, with no results."

I shook my head. "Just tell me how you do it. Tell me…how do you force your soul wavelength into another person."

Jacob paused, then thought for a few minutes.

"Ok." He started. "Well, first things first, you have to made physical contact with your target."

I nodded.

"Then, what I do is imagine my soul being pushed, through my hand, into the other person."

I nodded again.

"Then…I do it."

…

"That's it?"

He nodded.

"THAT DOESN'T HELP ME!"

He threw his arms up in retort and shouted, "What else can I say? Since I was little I've been able to do it! It came naturally!"

I groaned in displeasure.

"MICHAEL! Can't you do something about this?" I shouted at him.

He was still healing Wiper. "I can't do anything about that either Screaver."

"WHY NOT? You gave me the power to hear across long distances and translated my vocabulary! Why can't you give me this stupid power?"

"I've told you before!" He complained. "Soul manipulation of any kind is a real challenge! And is a huge chunk of power that I can't afford to loose at the moment!"

I cautiously looked over at Robin.

She was keeping her mouth shut, but eyes open.

I knew I'd have to deal with it eventually.

Michael ceased the healing magic, then looked at Robin.

"Alright now, it's your turn."

She looked cautious at him.

"Relax, this will ease the fatigue."

Robin laid flat on the ground, and Michael put his hands right above her chest.

I ignored them for a while and turned back to Jacob.

"Just show me that move again. Maybe I can recreate it."

Jacob stood up slowly.

"Go easy." Ninachou said.

Jacob raised his arm.

I flipped on my scope to get a look at his soul.

His silhouette seemed to pulse with blue energy.

Then his arm gripped my arm.

The pulse traveled from the soul in his chest, down his arm, and jumped into my own.

"YEOOW!"

My arm felt like it was hit by a defibrillator.

I rubbed my arm in pain. "Shit, that was a good one."

He looked bashful with the compliment. "Yeah, guess it was pretty coooooool."

I grabbed his arm.

"Let's see if I can do it too!'"

Ninachou freaked out. "Please! Be gentle!"

I focused my energy.

_Come on…come ooooon…COME OOOON…_

Nothing happened.

I imagined my soul trying to go to my arm.

Something like that. Anything to make a spark.

_COME OOOOOON!_

The veins were popping out of my neck and arms.

I released all the tension.

"It's not going to work."

I lied down, looking up at the sky in disappointment.

"It's ok Screaver. Besides, your captain is going to beat Eneru. Right?"

I sighed. "Yeah. Yeah he will."

_But this could have helped me out so much! We're going to face many more Logia type fruit users after this. Heck, if we ever ran into Ace again, I could finally stick it to him at least once. And Blackbeard. Plus that ice guy and Kizaru the light man, and then there's the lava bellowing Admiral…just thought things could have been easier with some way to counter them._

-WHOOSH-

The trees began to shake.

All of the trees began to shake. And the ground rumbled as well.

Michael looked up to the sky in fear.

"Wha…oh this is bad!"

I looked at where he was looking, and almost had a heart attack.

This…colossal, monstrous, island of a ship…was flying above us.

It…was the biggest damn flying ship I'd probably ever see in my life!

It was like a wooden arc, with oars sticking out the sides and a huge golden face on it.

_The Maxim…Eneru's flag ship._

"We need to get to higher ground!" Robin shouted. "Michael, help me move everyone."

"Right!" He agreed. "Screaver, everyone, hurry to the second level of Giant Jack!"

I continued to stare at the giant ship, in awe.

_We're gonna need a bigger gun…and a new change of underwear._


	98. Chapter 98

**Back from a long hiatus, it is the return of Tale of an OP Deliquent!**

**Sorry it's been so long, but no longer! I will be returning every friday!**

**Also, if you didn't know, I'm also publishing a new story. One Piece Revolution. The first chapter is already out, and I will be publishing it along with this story, every friday.**

**So, if any of you are still reading, please forgive me and my absence, but don't believe I'm out just yet.**

**So, after a long time of waiting, enjoy Chapter 98.**

* * *

The Time To Strike Is Now!

Here Come's the Demolition Man...

I looked up at that massive ship in awe. It rendered me motionless.

The ground continued to tremble, the sky grew dark, the jungle rattled and shaked in the sheer force of that ship entering the sky.

"What are you doing Screaver?" Michael shouted at me. "It's time to move! We're moving to the second level of Giant Jack!"

I turned to him, emotionless.

"Screaver?" He asked, looking me in the eye.

I couldn't help myself.

I tinged with anticipation. "I…I gotta go…"

He scoffed. "What are you? Stupid?"

I shook my head. "Nami's up there, Luffy's up there, all the action's happening up there. You think Screaver Bartel is just going to sit on the side lines for the final battle? Besides, the final priest might be up there!"

He looked at me with annoyance, then looked back at all the wounded.

Zoro, Gan Fall, and Wiper were still unconscious. Robin and Mugen were up but still wounded.

He looked back at me with a smug annoyance. "You really think you can just walk out of here, leaving me with all the busy work?"

"Don't I always?" I said back, matching his look.

We clapped hands together and nodded.

"You better get back here in one piece Screaver." He said. "I'll tend the wounded."

I nodded, then wound up my arm.

"HERE I COME YOU LOUSY SON OF A BITCH!"

And I took off into the jungle, my eyes trained onto the giant ship in the sky.

The trees were blocking my view of the sky, so I had to resort to do a bit of tree climbing.

However, it wasn't as easy as Tarzan may make it be!

Do you realize that in order to really get to the tip top of a tree you need to be standing on something strong enough to support you? And the tip top of most trees are just flimsy twigs covered in leaves!

Almost fell off a couple of times and busted my ass!

Well, I still had no clue as to how I was supposed to reach the ship.

No tree was tall enough, and I doubt I could launch myself from the ground up that high.

_Think think! Doesn't Usopp and Sanji get to the ship right? I distinctively remember Usopp trying to use his stupid Usopp Spell on Eneru…and failing._

_But how did they get up there?_

While I was deep in thought, a strange sight began to unfold.

A giant ball, shining like gold, was being dangled from the far side of the ship.

It was being supported by a huge rope.

No wait…Luffy!

No no no! It's happening to fast! I need to get up there before he falls off!

I made several more leaps to his position, but I was too far away to make any difference.

-BOOM-

The ball began to decend, this time bringing a small lump that appeared human shaped.

"LUFFY! HOLD ON BUDDY!"

However, another small pink thing was already flying towards him.

Then the sky began to grow dark.

_Oh no…he isn't gonna…_

-BOOOOOM-

A huge column of blue lightning engulfed them.

"LUUUUFFY! AISAAAA! PEEEEELL!"

In my frustration I lost my footing and the branch holding me up snapped.

"Whooawhooaohshit!"

-BAM-

Face first, on the dirt floor.

I pounded the ground in frustration.

"Damn it!"

_Luffy may be alright but…Aisa! I promised Mugen…oh God…_

I couldn't focus on that right now.

I had to…

-BAM-

"WHOA SHIT!"

Someone stepped on me, and tripped into a tree in the process.

I got up enraged. "WHO THE FUCK…"

Sanji…

I scoffed. "Of course…"

He rubbed his chest in pain, then glared at me.

"Figures I'd have to run into your ugly mug." He said.

"OY Screaver!" Usopp's voice said from behind me.

When I looked at the two, both were covered in bandages, head to toe.

"What happened to you two?" I asked.

"I was going to as the same to you." Sanji said.

I looked at my dirty, charred body.

"Eneru."

They nodded in agreement.

"He beat Zoro, Gan Fall, and Wiper with his electric powers. I got done in as well." I said, holding the last bit of info from him in fear he might go into a rage.

"He did the same to us!" Usopp said in fear.

"Which is why we're going after him and going to save Nami!" Sanji said, all high and mighty like.

"Right." I said. "Oh and by the way…"

I leaned in close. He did the same.

"He…mercilessly…electrocuted Robin…right in the face…"

-BA-BUMB-

Sanji blinked hard. "I'm sorry?"

I repeated it.

-BA-BOOOOOM-

I really shouldn't have said anything.

Sanji's hair was on fire, that's how mad he was.

"OH I'M GOING TO BEAT THE EVERLOVING CRAP OUT OF THAT SON OF A BITCH!"

Sanji took off towards the ship, I grabbed Usopp and followed him.

"He really…beat all of you guys?" Usopp said weakly, as I carried him from under my arm.

"Yep. Rather cruelly too. We couldn't even scratch him. His Logia devil fruit powers are pretty troublesome."

I shouted to Sanji. "How do you expect to get up there anyway?"

He looked over his shoulder. "With Usopp's invention! The one with the rope that shoots from his belt!"

"You mean the Usopp Ahahahahaaaa?" He asked.

"RIGHT!"

I hoisted Usopp in the air, still running, and said, "Alright then Usopp! Let'er rip!"

"No! I have a plan!" Sanji shouted, his hair still alit with anger.

Sanji was standing on a rock formation, in a small clearing in the forest.

Usopp was standing next to me, trembling and making as many excuses as possible.

"You guys can have the device, I'll just sit here and wait…"

"It's your device Usopp! You know how to working right! Now hurry!"

"Don't worry Usopp." I said reassuringly. "Sanji and I will take care of Eneru. You focus on getting Nami out of there. Alright?"

He nodded and gave me a confident smile. "Ok…thanks Screaver…"

"NOW! DO IT!"

-BOOM-

The hook fired from his belt, flying towards Sanji.

-BAM-

Then Sanji kicked it, with all of his strength.

I grabbed Usopp around the waist as the rope seemed to grab on.

I tugged the rope to be sure.

"Ok, now comes the hard part."

Climbing that STUPID rope was about the worst experience I ever felt in my life.

It was like Hell! In gym class! Forced to climb that dumbass rope you never wanted to do for eternity.

And the incredibly high altitude atop the ALREADY high altitude didn't help my stomach.

However, I was running on fumes, half ready to pass out from hunger.

But my desire for vengeance and for Nami was overpowering my senses of hunger.

And Usopp's constant dangling from the bottom of the rope, swinging it hard back and forth wasn't making it any better!

"YOU DUMBASS! STOP SHAKING THE ROPE!" Both Sanji and I screamed.

We were almost there! At last, this torture of unbelieveable perportions was almost over.

"I don't care if you are a God." Sanji said, I'm assuming to Eneru. "Anyone who lays a hand on Robin will face the wrath of the Devil of the Blue Sea!"

He was going to pay for everyone he hurt. Gan Fall, the Holy Squad, Conas' dad, Damien!

"I…I wanna get off!" Usopp whined. "If we keep going up we won't be able to get off! And God has to be on this ark too!"

"We've already climbed up here! So deal with it!" Sanji shouted back.

He reached the wooden deck, and then gave me a hand to climb up after him.

Then we both tugged onto Usopp's rope and puled him up.

"We know the enemy has the Mantra ability, so they probably already know we're here." Sanji said. "We'll split up and meet up on the deck."

"Why are we splitting up?" I asked.

Usopp agreed.

"You idiots!" He said. "If we don't split up, we'll all die!"

We shared a silent moment.

"Usopp…Screaver…" He said, putting a hand on both of us. "If it will save Nami, then I don't care if either of you die."

"BWAAAAAAH?"

Then he turned around and ran off. "I'M COMING NAMIIIIIII!"

"OH HEEEEEELL NO YOU PERVY SOMBITCH!" I roared. "HERE **I** COME NAMI!"

And I ran in after him, leaving Usopp behind to stammer in disagreement.

I got lost eventually, separated from both Sanji and Usopp.

I had to say, the ship's interior was massive.

Rows and rows of electric generators, gears, pistons, dials and gauges.

It was a steam punk's wet dream.

Or something like that. Is a steam punk the person who likes steam pumps? Or is that the style's name or…

NAAAAAH! No time to discuss shit like that.

I remembered that Sanji started breaking shit in the levels as he went, and that stalled Eneru's plans to blow everything up.

_So…_

I formed my bazooka…

_Imagine how far back he'll be set if two people blow his ship up._

I fired in every direction I could think of.

Oh what's that? A gear? BOOM!

Oh and that piston? BOOM!

And that giant generator of electricity? DOUBLE BOOM!

I climbed several stairs and obliterated everything in my path.

I was the Obliterator of Gears!

…

I looked down in frustration.

_How? How can I beat Eneru? I guess it's just not possible for my level of skill right now._

I looked at my gun.

_These blasts don't affect him but…aren't they produced from my soul wavelength?_

I fired a blast into another piston.

_I mean…in a way they are…but they aren't strong enough._

-BOOM-

_I guess it needs more of a concentrated fire._

-BOOM-

_But…nah…that's crazy…_

I looked at my gun.

A crazy idea formed inside my twisted little mind.

_I know just what to do._

I focused my energy to my arm, the cannon started to glow.

_Imagining…imagining…focus…alright…_

I felt something throb inside my body.

_As long as it's still connected to my body…a chain…that'll work…_

The picture was forming inside my head, but my body was having a hard time forming it.

My idea was…to create a weapon that was made out of my soul.

Not like before…like my actual soul in physical form.

_My soul is rooted inside my chest, but what if I moved it to my arm?_

_And better yet, turn it into a weapon?_

_Like a cannonball mounted on a chain that is fired and retracted from a cannon…_

…yeah I know it sounded stupid but that was all I had going for me.

And I knew I could manipulate my form like before when I made my true Soul Resonance.

My arm glowed brighter.

It took all the willpower I had to try and moved my soul from my chest to my arm.

But it was working.

The throbbing pain moved from my chest, to the right of my chest, and then my bicep, then my triceps, to the tips of my fingers.

"FORM! FORM GOD DAMN IT!"

_This has to work! It has to!_

The pain was starting to become unbearable, my body shivered and ached, and on top of it all my stomach gurgled with hunger!

But, with one final push…

-BZLIIICK-

The glow died.

My arm felt weighted down.

I held aloft my new weapon.

My bazooka had expanded. New studs circled the rim of the barrel. Several little ridges formed out of the side.

And firmly placed on the mouth was a sleek, shinning ball of solid bronze with a silver picture of a skull imprinted on it.

My grin hadn't been wider.

I aimed it at a support beam that was about as thick as me.

-KABOOM-

-BAM-

The cannonball flew straight through the support beam like it was made of playdough.

It extended as far as it could, then the silver chain that came from inside the bazooka tugged at me with incredible force.

I held it back, and it retracted back almost as fast as it was shot.

It was almost like the tongue of a frog: In and out.

My chest felt strange however: light and unnerving. I guess it wasn't used to the feeling of not having a soul in it.

But I still felt ok overall.

You see my first idea to turn my soul into a simple blast was stupid, because I could just imagine what might go wrong if my soul were to leave my body.

However, my second idea was just as effective, but with a chain!

The chain would act as the connection my soul needed to stay with my body.

Still, I could only imagine the scolding Michael was going to give me for doing something as boneheaded as this…

"Better watch out Eneru," I said aloud. "I got a wrecking ball on one hand, and a jackhammer in the other. I'm my own demolition crew!"


	99. Chapter 99

The Mark of A New Team

A Really Good Idea!

-BAM- -BOOM- -SMASH-

Well, I wasted no time getting to work.

I fired my wrecking ball at anything that looked important and shiny.

And in my eyes, EVERYTHING WAS SHINY AND IMPORTANT!

"Oh hey support beam?" I mocked the inaminate object. "You holding up this roof? WELL BOOM"

I used my free hand to do a jackhammer punch.

It pushed through that metal like it was wet clay.

Gears?

-KABOOM-

Pistons?

-BAM- -BOOM-

Tank of water?

-CRASH- -BOOM-

Getting even?

MUTHAFUCKING PRICELESS!

-BOOM-

YEAHAAAH! Wait…

-BOOM- -BOOM- -BOOM-

Loud booming sounded from above me.

_I'm pretty sure that wasn't me…_

"SAHAAAAVE MEEEEHEEE!" I heard a voice scream.

Usopp…

_Looks like he got up there before me…_

Oh well, he can handle himself, now to get back to…

"LIKE HELL!" Nami's voice shouted back at him.

NAMI!

"IMA COMMIN NAMI!"

I fired my ball directly upward.

-CRASH- -CRASH-

It smashed a hole big enough for me to fit through. Light formed through the hole.

I formed leg bazookas.

-KABOOM-

"BAZOOKA STEP!"

I flew out and landed outside with a thud.

"SCREAVER!" Usopp screamed with joy.

"SAVE US!" Nami shouted with him.

I took in my surroundings.

A huge wooden deck, railings, burned spots everywhere, a giant golden face with a throne near it, some giant glass things that had electricity in them and Eneru firing a…

"WHOA!"

I jumped to the side, dodging a huge burst of lightning.

"You never learned your lesson, did you?" He said, not very pleased at all.

"Nah. I hate learning. But I did pick up an extra trick!"

I charged at him, with my wrecking ball pointed above my head, ready to give him a punch.

He scoffed, and raised his staff at me.

-SHINK-

He pushed it, right into my shoulder.

Right through my shoulder.

I didn't even recognize the pain, because my wrecking ball was aimed right at him.

"EAT MY BALL, SCREAVER WRECKING BALL!"

-KABOOM-

I fired it at his chest.

-**BAM-**

A direct hit!

"HUAH!" He gasped.

-WHOOSH-

He was sent flying; the staff was still impaled into my shoulder.

-BOOM-

He crashed into the golden face.

I breathed deeply as I pulled the staff out of me.

I…trembled…

Then cheered.

"YEAHHAAAAH! I KNEW IT! I KNEW THAT WOULD WORK!"

Eneru's stomach had caved in; blood was coming from his mouth.

I looked at Nami and Usopp, who looked at me in disbelief.

"You…you did it…" Nami said.

"Uh…uh alright Screaver!" Usopp said.

I tried to give him a thumbs up, but my free hand wasn't moving right.

The pain of my right shoulder hurt like mad.

Which is a polite way of saying OW OW OW OW MY FUCKING SHOULDER!

I fell to my knees, prompting the other two to come near me.

"I'm ok, I'm fine." I said weakly.

"Hold on," Usopp said. "Nami! Get the bike. We need it to get out of here!"

"Right!" She said and ran into another direction.

I took a few deep breaths, then I released control on my wrecking ball arm.

It turned back to normal.

"Screaver! What was that ball on your arm?" Usopp asked.

"An act of desperation. But it paid off." I said.

-BZZ-

What was…

-BZZ-

Eneru's body pulsed.

_Oh that's not fair._

-BZZT-

He began to stand up.

-BZZT-

Just as before, he stood up, like he just took a short nap.

Except this time, he was pissed.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance! No one would miss a little abomination like you!"

I was guessing this was more of Gabriel talking then Eneru.

He released some electricity, ready to strike me and Usopp.

I looked at my hand, it would take too long to transform back into my wrecking ball form.

I got to my feet, and charged.

"Screaver, wait!" Usopp shouted.

"Get back!"

I whirled up my fist, ready to punch him.

His body released even more electricity.

-BZZT-

I ran head on into him.

"EL…THOR!" Eneru called out.

I did the only thing that came natural to me.

I…punched him.

And…that's it.

I punched him!

-BAM-

Right in the face.

His eyes rolled back as my fist bent his chin upward.

He fell over in shock…literally.

The giant mass of electricity disappeared.

I stared at my fist in complete disbelief.

-TZ- -TZZZT-

My hand sparked with yellow sparks.

"WHAT?"

_How the hell…wait…My soul is still in my arm, not my chest. At this distance, maybe I…_

I had another idea.

With the same concentration, I forced my soul to move up my arm, to my chest, and tried to force it through my left arm.

It wouldn't budge past the shoulder.

_Come on…come on…_

Eneru started to get back up, he grabbed my ankle.

"10…million volts…"

-BZZZZZZZT-

I was electrocuted, again.

The pain was immense as I fell over, charred just like before.

"You fool." He said. "Why is it you people keep hitting me? I am INVINCIBLE! I am GOD! There's no way you can even touch me!"

I pushed myself up and swung at him again.

He dodged and hit me in the ribs with his golden rod.

"I told you. You CAN'T beat me!"

-BAM-

I threw another punch at him, hitting him directly in the ribs.

"You know, people who say _you can't do that_ need to get out of the way of the ones who are doing it!"

He threw both his hands at me and sent me backwards, leaving a good distance from him and me.

I moved my soul back to the center of my chest and formed my gun.

"One Million Volts!"

"Mega Bazooka!"

-KABOOM-

-BZZZZZT-

The two attacks both fizzled out.

I charged towards him with my fist winding up for the next punch.

-BOOM-

His foot sent me off my feet and into the railing.

"HEY! Screaver!"

Usopp ran towards my side, and put hand on my arm.

-BZZZT-

"YEOW!"

His hand darted away from me as a tiny spark zapped him.

"Don't touch me!" I warned him. "I'm too unstable."

"Screaver. We gotta go now!" Usopp said, still holding his hand in pain.

Eneru was coming closer to us, spinning his golden rod casually.

"Where's Sanji?" I asked him.

"He's still inside the ship! He could have gotten lost!" Usopp said.

"Nah. He's not like Zoro. He'll be here. Now listen Usopp, you take Sanji, and Nami for that matter, and get them to safety. Robin and a friend of mine, Michael, have moved everybody to that cloud over there."

I pointed to the second level of the bean stock.

"You're coming with us!" Nami shouted.

I couldn't see where she was, it didn't matter.

"I'll buy Sanji enough time to get up here."

I pushed myself up and charged again.

"JACKHAMMER!"

-BZZZZT-

Another lightning bolt shot though my body.

My fist went through Eneru's body.

-BAM-

His golden rod smacked me down to the ground as he pushed his foot down on my neck.

"This has gone on far enough. I will enjoy watching you, and your friends die a painful death."

He plunged his rod toward my head.

-CLINK-

His rod stopped.

A black shoe was stopping the rod.

"Sanji! Get the hell out of here!"

"Shut up Screaver." He said. "You think I'm gonna let you get away with dying now?"

Eneru looked at him with annoyance. "You just keep coming one after the other. It's a never ending cycle of annoyance."

-BZZZZZZT-

"SANJI!"

-THUD-

Sanji fell, burnt about as black as I was.

I couldn't stand to help him, even if there wasn't a foot pushing me down on my neck.

"SANJIIII!" Usopp screamed.

I don't even think he had enough strength to tell him all the damage he'd done to the ship.

"Now…where was I?"

He spun the rod faster, and faster.

Then it started to generate electricity.

"10 Million volts…EL THOOOOOR!"

I closed my eyes, thinking aloud…_MICHAEL!_

-BEOOOO-

A huge bright light shined above us, and I wasn't talking about Eneru's attack.

It engulfed us both, and the next thing I knew I was on my feet.

Away from Eneru.

Michael was supporting me.

Eneru himself was laying stunned on the deck.

"I knew you'd make it." I said.

In the other hand, he was holding Sanji's burnt body.

"The other's are safe. Robin is seeing to that." He told me.

"Who…who are you?" Usopp asked Michael nervously.

"He's that buddy of mine I was talking about." I told him.

-VROOM-

The waver circled around Usopp, Nami piloting it of course.

"Michael." Nami said.

He nodded at her, and then threw Sanji at Usopp.

-THUD-

"Take those three to the second cloud level. Everyone else is recuperating there."

"Screaver. Come on let's go!" Usopp shouted at me.

I looked at myself, barely able to stand.

Eneru was beginning to stand up.

I had an idea.

"Michael. I think…it's time."

"For what?" He asked.

I looked at his arm holding me up, he seemed unaffected from the touch of me.

Michael raised an eyebrow. "Oh…I see."

I nodded at him with a crooked smile.

"You know…that's actually one of the best ideas you've had since we got here."

"Nami! Go now! We've got this taken care of!" I shouted.

"I'm not leaving you behind idiot!" She shouted back at me.

"There's no time! Or room on the bike for that matter! Trust me!"

I stood on my own two feet and grabbed Michael's hand.

We nodded and looked at each other with determination.

"Who would have thought you'd be my miser?" I asked him.

"Just focus on going full weapon smart guy." He said.

_Right. Focus…focus. Shouldn't be too hard._

My body began to glow…brighter and brighter.

I closed my eyes.

-SHING-

Darkness.

Pure darkness.

I was floating in pure darkness…naked.

"Whoa!"

I covered my…self and tried to look around.

_You ok Screaver?_

"I'M NAKED!"

_Well, that's one way of putting it._

I closed my eyes, then opened them again.

A large smudge appeared before me, revealing a window to the world.

I was above Michael's shoulder.

Eneru was on his feet.

"It doesn't matter what form you take, I will still kill both of you!" He grumbled.

"Screaver?" I heard Nami's voice say.

I turned to look at her through the window.

-BANG-

"OW! Watch it idiot!"

I closed my eyes and tried to get a better view of the situation.

It almost like I went into third person mode.

Michael was holding a golden, studded bazooka in his left hand.

The barrel had rotated and hit him in the head.

No…I hit him in the head.

"Go now! We'll hold him off!" I shouted.

I flipped back into first person mode and face Eneru.

-SHING-

Michael drew his sword.

"Sword and bazooka versus a God. This will be a fight to remember." Michael said.

"A fight you can't hope to win." Eneru said, hold his staff up high.

"_We'll see about that asshole! MICHAEL! LET'S GO!_"


	100. Chapter 100

**It's here, finally. The 100th chapter.**

**Never thought I'd get this far. Especially since I took a four month hiatus. Thank you all for sticking with me and reading and reviewing. I'm getting back into the swing of things. And there's been so many changes to the website since I got back.**

**Well, enjoy chapter 100.**

* * *

Gods and Demons

The Epic Fight and A Dark Turn

"CHARGE!"

Michael lunged forward, sword pointed forward at Eneru's chest.

-VROOM-

The waver powered on and drove out of my view.

-CLINK-

Eneru's pole deflected it.

-KABOOM-

Michael pulled my…trigger and fired at him in response to the deflection.

It felt real strange to be fired without my full control. But it wasn't necessarily a bad one.

It was such a strange feeling. I seemed to feel less and less like I was a naked dude in a dark space and more like…a bazooka.

My barrel, my handle, my trigger, it was all a part of me.

But with that, I didn't feel as in control. I was the weapon, and Michael was my wielder. I felt less and less inclined to move independently.

"You'll have to do better than that." Eneru boasted. "Despite what you can do, I can still read your every move."

"Then we'll just have to be faster." Michael exclaimed.

Eneru spun his staff, building up electricity.

"10 Million Volts!"

-BZZZZT-

A single bolt of lightning arched at us.

Michael flicked my handle, and my barrel began to spin rapidly.

The bolt struck me, and fizzled out.

"That rotation feature you put in has a lot of variations in attack and defense Screaver." Michael said.

"_I just thought it was a cool idea."_

"Doesn't matter." He said, flicking his blade.

He charged once more, but with more ferocity.

He began a flurry of well placed blade blows.

Eneru had to use his golden staff to deflect all of them.

And yet, I didn't know why.

_He's a logia. What's he got to worry about a blade?_

Michael turned me to my back side, so the back of my barrel was facing Eneru.

-CLINK-

Michael used the butt of my barrel as a kind of hammer, pressing me hard against Eneru staff.

_Ahem…no homo._

Then he pulled my trigger.

"Battering Bazooka!"

-KABOOM-

The blast shot the barrel forward, the barrel sliding up the handle until it reached the end of it.

It was like the recoil of a cannon, being used as a battering ram.

"_Nice name there." _ I said sarcastically.

"What?" He asked. "You can name attacks, but I can't?"

Eneru was getting irritated at our banter as we were mopping the floor with him.

Ok ok, I was exaggerating. We had a long way to go before we could beat him.

Michael took a leap back and fired three blasts at Eneru.

-BWOOSH-

The three blasts began to fizzle.

"Kari…" Eneru whispered.

-FOOP-

They imploded just before hitting their mark.

"Those little balls of light can't harm me." He scolded.

"But this will!" Michael shouted and swiped his sword.

"Saintly Wave!"

The silver blade produced a silver slice attack that flew toward Eneru.

He vanished before it got close to him, then reappeared in front of us.

-SLICE-

Michael slice through his chest, which didn't initially seem to have caused an effect.

But as Eneru's body began to reform, a faint line appeared on his chest.

He rubbed his chest, like he was in pain.

"What sort of trickery is this?" He cursed.

"Magic. Old magic, but it should suffice for this instance." Michael agreed.

_Magic?_

_An enchantment. The slices won't be at full strength, but they'll at least leave a mark on his soul._ Michael spoke to me.

"20 Millon Volts!" Eneru shouted, hitting one of his bongos.

-BZZZZZZT-

Just as before, Michael spun me around to block the attack but…

…the bolt made a 90 degree angle around Michael and hit him in the back.

"GUAAAAAAH!" He screamed.

_Michael!_

He fell to one knee. That blast didn't knock him out for the count.

"Come on Michael! Show me your true strength! Or are you all worn out from being this little mortal's pansy?" Eneru taunted.

He used me to push him up to his feet.

"No. I've got a few tricks left." He grunted.

He closed his eyes…

"_Mirage…_"

I could feel his body shake, and blur.

"Mirage Clone…"

-FOOSH-

His body shook so fast that it began to multiply.

Then the shaking stopped.

And three Michaels, all armed with Screaver bazookas stood before Eneru.

Eneru raised an eyebrow. "A multiplying trick? Please, I can pick out which one is the real you easily."

"Really?" The left Michael said.

"Do tell then." The right Michael concurred.

"I do so want to see this feat." The middle Michael asked.

Eneru looked cross.

"That's right." Left Michael said.

"Each one of us has our own voice, are own mind." Middle Michael boasted.

"So to your Mantra, it's as if we're all the real Michael." Right Michael said.

I kept my mouth shut, as to not give away our decoys.

"It must take a great strain to maintain three persons without letting them get the best if you. I hope you're prepared." Eneru said cautiously.

At once, the three charged.

"**Delta Force. Mirage Assault**."

Each Michael darted in a different direction, wielding their swords and bazookas.

"10 Millon Volts!"

-BZZZZZT-

All three of us were consumed in lighting. I couldn't see anything as we were engulfed in lightning.

I was let go.

And landed on the ground with a thud.

-SHING-

A sword point stuck out of Eneru's chest.

Michael stood behind him with his sword stabbed right in his back.

I was amazed. When did he switch he with one of his decoys?

And if he fooled me, he must have fooled Eneru.

By the looks of Eneru's face, he DID fool Eneru.

Eneru turned to zap Michael, but he was too fast.

And Michael returned and scooped me up, firing two blasts to Eneru.

-KABOOM- -KABOOM-

They hit him on the mark.

"Had enough?" Michael shouted.

The smoke cleared, and Eneru was enraged.

"100 Million Volts…EL THOR!"

He hit his bongos, and his body shot up into the sky.

A bright light grew above us.

"Oh shit…" Michael gasped.

"_Let's move! Let's move!_" I shouted. "_He's gonna kill us!_"

-**BOOOOM**-

Too late.

The blast hit the deck, and my vision was cut off.

The next thing I knew, I was on the ground. With Michael nowhere to be found.

_Michael? Michael!_

No response.

I didn't feel a thing. I guess being a weapon I didn't have any senses to feel the pain.

The deck was badly burned, and began to crumble.

_Oh oh shit!_

I transformed into human form and quickly ran across to a safer area.

The deck caved in and fell into the ship.

Well I guess he can't get back his safety deposit…I think.

-BZZT-

Eneru appeared before me in a bolt of lightning.

He pointed his finger at my head.

"Good bye."

-**BZZZZZZZZT**-

"BWAAAAAAAOW!"

Now, I don't have to tell you how bad it hurt to have a lightning bolt get shot through your face.

Honestly, if the rules of this universe were different, I would have died.

After the bolt struck me, I collapsed onto the ground.

I couldn't move, and could feel myself begin to fall unconscious.

"Don't worry, I'll have someone up here to take care of you shortly." Eneru said, walking away from me.

"St…stooo…stop…" I croaked, my throat dry and husk.

And that was it…I blacked out.

* * *

I was so mad at myself.

I was worried about Michael. _Where did he go? He's not dead is he?_

I failed. We failed, plain and simple.

Only Luffy has a shot at winning against him. I'd just get in the way.

"Ugh…"

When I finally came to, I still couldn't open my eyes.

I was being held up.

It felt like some kind of…rope? Or maybe a chain.

I was tied to something.

I opened my eyes slightly, and all I could see was a dark purple glow.

"That's it…rise and shine buddy." A quiet and pleasant sounding voice cooed. "Don't want to miss your big important day."

It was male, but very…feminine sounding.

"Ugh…important day?" I grumbled, my throat still feeling like crackled leaves.

"The last day of your life of course." The voice said.

Ok, now I wasn't so groggy anymore.

I opened my eyes fully.

I wasn't really prepared for what I saw next.

It was like…another dimension.

Remember how Michael's room was an empty space with nothing but blue, well this was similar.

Except it was a swirl of purple and crimson darkness.

_Am I in the shadow realm? Where's Yugi?_

"PHAROAH!" I shouted, trying to joke but instead choked on my own words.

"Shhh! It's alright, I wasn't meaning to startle you." The man said.

At least, I thought it was a man.

He wore a big top hat, and a white long sleeve dress shirt with slacks. He had a shiny purple vest over his shirt, and wore gloves.

But the weirdest part of his get up was he had a white veil covering his entire head.

I couldn't tell what gender or what color hair he had or anything about him.

"Hello, Mister Bartel. I've been expecting you." He…it said.

I made the assumption before he even said it.

"You're…the last priest right?" I said.

It nodded its head. "Quite bright Mister Bartel, quite right. My name is Suimasu. Very nice to meet you. Very nice indeed."

He bowed several times, his voice shaking from…either anticipation or fear.

I was tied to something alright, a giant tree.

But when I looked up, the tree cut off from view inside the…darkness.

"Where am I?"

"Oh! I completely forgot, so terribly sorry I forgot to tell you!" He said.

He seemed very subdued, like he was trying to please me or something.

Well, at the moment, I wasn't feeling particularly angry…

Something was up.

I'm usually angry, very angry. I get angry from thinking too hard about certain things for Christ's sake.

And I didn't feel angry at that moment, from being tied up, from being held captive by this top hat wearing fu…freak.

I couldn't even call him a bad name.

"You see Mister Bartel," Suimasu said, "You're in my territory, on the island. The Ordeal of Mirrors. You see…my Ordeal is very odd in the way that it's designed."

"I'll say." I said. "I haven't seen a single mirror since I got here."

He flinched at my comment. "Where was I? Oh yes. You see, my territory is a little different than the other priests. You see, your mood reflects my mood."

"So that's why I feel so…calm." I said.

I wanted to get angry, I wanted to get mad and bust out, his the little prick in his face and leave this purple fart of a Ordeal.

But…I couldn't.

I felt bad about calling him a prick in that last line!

"Remember when I said this was the last day of your life?" He said.

I nodded.

"Well Mister Bartel, I have some rather bad news. You see…you've been out for some time now."

"How long?" I asked.

"About a day now." He said. "The battle is already over."

My eyes opened wide. "Well then let me go!"

He cocked his head to the side. "Let you go? I was never holding you captive."

I walked up to him and grabbed his collar. "NOW SEE HERE…"

I realized I wasn't tied up. I was walking, and I was angry. I turned to look at the tree, but it was gone.

"What's your game? Magic?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"Nonono Mister Bartel." He said. "Nothing so malicious. And look!"

He pointed back to where the tree had been, and when I looked back a tall mirror with a silver frame stood there.

I looked into it, seeing a reflection of myself.

I had to say, I wasn't looking so good.

The mirror rippled and an image filled the glass.

A golden ball smashing Eneru in the face, like I was watching…an anime.

"Luffy beat Eneru! See? He beat you're so called God."

He nodded. "I never considered Mister Eneru a god. He was my boss, but nothing more."

Suimasu rubbed his wrists, rotating his hands like they hurt.

"Hey, weren't you wearing gloves?" I said, seeing his pale white hands.

"Yes, but I took them off Mister Bartel." He said.

I looked back into the mirror, and a different scene showed.

"Hey, hey wait!" I shouted.

The Merry Go was pulling out of it's dock, away from the island.

"HEY! I'm still here! Wait! WAIT!"

"They can't hear you Mister Bartel." He said. "It happened almost a day ago. I've been keeping you alive since I found you."

I looked back at him. "A day ago right?"

He nodded. "Eneru kicked you off the ship, and I found you."

_Did…really?_

My head was feeling foggy.

"That sounds…possible. But why did they leave? Didn't they try to find me?"

He pointed back.

Luffy stood before me.

"Luffy! My God I'm happy to see you!" I said cheerfully.

I reached to grab him, but my hand pressed against the mirror.

"Screaver? What are you doing here?" He said, his arms crossed and a look of displeasure on his face.

"What are you doing here?" I said back, more intensely than before.

He scoffed. "No Screaver. Don't make me say it again."

My heart was feeling lower and lower. "…say what?"

"You lost against Eneru and nearly got everyone killed! You're not a part of my crew."

"WHAT?"

I grabbed the mirror. "You idiot! How can you say something so…"

The mirror changed.

The image of Luffy was replace by one of Zoro, with his swords by his side.

"Oh thank God, Zoro!" I said. "Luffy's talking crazy! He said…"

"I know what he said Screaver." Zoro said, equally as displeased.

"Well, he couldn't have meant…"

"It's not just him, it's a shared thought. No one wants you a part of this crew Screaver."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

I looked back at Suimasu, his veil still covering his face.

I looked to the mirror again, and Sanji was standing there this time.

"Shithead. You're gonna cause nothing but pain to Nami and the rest of us. I never want to see your face near me, or anyone part of this crew again!"

I was starting to tear up; I couldn't believe what was happening.

Usopp appeared next.

"And you call me a liar? If I told half the lies you've fed to us I'd never be able to look any of them in the face again!"

"I can explain…" I tried to say.

Chopper appeared, looking up at me with sadness.

"Not you too…"

"I thought you were good Screaver." He said. "I thought…I can't even look at you anymore!"

Tears filed his eyes.

"I'm sorry…please don't cry I'm…"

I took a knee to try and consol him, but just as quickly, he changed into one last person.

Nami…

"Oh Nami. Oh please don't…"

"You think this isn't hard on me too?" She said. Her face was a mix of anger and sadness.

I could see a few tears fall from the corner of her eyes.

"It's better this way." She said. "For both of us. At least I'll never have to see you ever again. So please…don't come find me."

I was crying huge tears. "Nami…I…I love…"

"Don't say anything." She said, holding up her hand. "If you really love me you'll never come near me again."

She turned around. "Good bye…Ero-boy."

And she walked away.

"Nami…Nami! NAMI! NAMI!"

I tried to chase after her, but there was a wall in my way.

She got farther and farther away, and I screamed louder and louder.

"NAAHAAAAMI!"

She faded from view.

I kneeled there, my hands pressing against the wall…no. It was a mirror.

I felt a hand rest on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Mister Bartel." He said.

My mind felt groggy, I was sad and hurt, in pain and shock.

"What…what do I do know?"

I looked up at him, his veil gone and pure black eyes staring at me.

"Oh…I think I have something that can help. For today is also, the beginning of your new life."


	101. Chapter 101

**Get ready for a plot twist people, cause this one's a doozy. See if you can figure it out.**

* * *

Who Am I?

The Life of an Average...High School Student...

-BZZZZT-

"Nmmm…"

-BZZZZT- -BZZZZT-

"Alright alright…"

-BZZZZT-

-BAM-

-CRASH-

"Stupid alarm clock."

That was the sound of my every day morning ritual. I set my alarm to a time _way_ too early, I whack it off the table, and it crashes to the ground.

I stretched for a bit, and got out of bed.

"Damien, I'm stepping out for a bit, make breakfast for yourself!" I heard my mom call from downstairs.

"Fine! Bye ma!"

My head started to hurt a bit.

_Need to take some Tylenol._

I looked around my room.

Shelves with my boxing trophies, an autographed poster of Manny Pacquiao, photos of me and my choir group, and a tall silver mirror.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

A nice hair cut, clean shaven, a solid tan…

_I don't have time for this! Gotta get to school._

I quickly, but calmly, put on my school uniform and rushed down the stairs.

I really like the uniforms: dark blue blazer with a nice white shirt and red tie. The pants were very comfortable.

By the way, my name's technically not Damien. It's Screaver on my birth certificate, and my middle name is Damien. It just sounds a little better than Screaver.

I looked on my dresser, and saw the bag from Jared.

_Don't wanna forget that._

I took its contents out and put it in my backpack.

My sister was eating a bowl of cereal at the table and reading a book. I looked through our pantry for some pop tarts.

"All out." She said.

"Aw, why?" I asked.

"You ate them, idiot." She said, and went back to reading her book.

I looked through the pantry.

_I never really realized our pantry was so big._

No breakfast food item was there.

I opened the fridge and pulled out leftover pancakes.

_Strange, don't remember eating pancakes yesterday. Oh wait…I wasn't here. I was at Cat's house that morning._

I ate what was in the Tupperware bowl, grabbed my backpack and my car keys.

"Feed the dog ok?" I reminded her.

She nodded her head.

"Hey bro!" My sis called. "You seen my gameboy lying around?"

I raised an eyebrow. "It's not like I'd be looking for something like that. So no."

And I rushed out the door.

-BEEP- -BEEP-

I clicked the unlock on my Lamborghini, threw my stuff into the back and got in.

Solid red paint job. Nothing too flashy: didn't want to get robbed on my way to school.

That is, after picking Catilin up from her house.

Catilin was my girlfriend for almost three years now. Pronunced _Cat-_**ilin**.

And she's the only girl, outside my family, I'm ok with calling me by my first name.

I picked her up from her house everyday to school because she hadn't been eligible to get her license yet. Though I bet she'd get it twice as fast then it took me.

_God, she's been so great to me, I could really see myself marrying that girl._

* * *

I pulled up to her little house, just a few blocks from my house. It was a modest, house with a very nice front garden.

I got out of the car, just as her front door opened.

She was so beautiful. Long blond hair that almost looked golden, dark brown eyes with the cutest face and the perfect smile.

And not to be crude but the most rockin body I'd ever seen. She was a solid 5'6. flawless peach skin, and had such a perfect figure.

She gave me a big smile, wearing her school uniform and a backpack.

I went to help her with her bag, and she hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"Morning." She said.

"Morning. Let me take your bag." I said.

"Oh come on." She scoffed. "You don't need to do that."

She let me go and got to the car door.

I rushed over to open it for her.

"What a _gentlemen_." She said, and sat in the car.

I got in the driver's seat and drove off.

I made small talk with her: asking her about how her dad was doing after his colonoscopy, what she made on the last A&P test, such and such.

I rubbed my forehead, cursing at myself for not taking some painkillers.

"Shoot."

She noticed. "Your head hurts?"

I nodded.

"I got some aspirin in case you need it." She said, fishing it out of her bag.

"Thanks babe." I said.

She looked at me and sighed.

"What? Did I do something wrong?"

"Well, unless you count graduating wrong, I wouldn't think so." She said. "I mean…school's going to end in a month! We're going to be graduates, going to college; I mean we need to talk about our future plans."

I stopped at a red light. "Ok, we'll talk about it."

"We are planning on going to the same college right?"

"Yes. It's got both the academic and athletic programs we both need." I said.

"You think we should…maybe…get an apartment together?"

"Yes."

"That's it?" She said. "You don't want to put more thought into it?"

"What else is there to think about?" I said. "I want to live with you plain and simple."

The light turned green.

"But it's still a pretty big decision!" She said.

"Look, we'll talk about it later, ok?" I tried to console her.

She crossed her arms against her chest. "Fine. But promise me you'll think about it more, ok? I mean not only is it a money issue, but…"

I nodded my head. "I'll think about it ok?"

"God." She sighed. "You can be so thick sometimes. How is it you have a 3.8 grade point average?"

"Cause I got a smart, talented, sexy tutor helping me." I said, giving her a sly look.

"Keeping talking like that, I might get jealous." She joked.

She never was much for the foreplay.

* * *

We pulled into the school parking lot of perhaps one of the finest high schools in the state; Julian Academy.

Great teachers, perfect music and athletic programs, and perhaps the best and brightest students that get to grace these halls.

Or something like that.

I found a nice parking spot in the third row.

We both got out and I began to escort her to her first class.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me in the other direction.

"How about I walk you to _your_ first class for a change?" She asked.

"Um…sure." I said.

She walked by my side as we headed to the gym: which had weight rooms, pools, kendo and fencing areas, and a boxing arena.

"Morning Damien!" I heard a guy shout from behind me.

He patted my shoulder as he rushed past me.

"Bruce!" I said.

Bruce was my good friend from the boxing team.

Sure we were all good friends, but Bruce had known me the longest.

"Hey Catilin. Nice to see you two." He said cheerfully.

He was build like I was: pretty muscular, but shorter and slimmer than me and had short red hair.

"You ready for the match today? The superintendent is going to be in attendance." He said.

I had actually forgotten about the match.

"Um…yeah great I guess." I said quickly.

Bruce looked at Catilin. "You know, this guy is going to be in the Hall of Fame soon enough."

"Terrific. I've always wanted a trophy husband." She said cheerfully, grabbing my arm.

"Haha." I said, unemotionally.

"Well, I gotta hurry ahead. Bye you two!" He said, and turned a corner.

"You know he totally has a crush on you." I joked.

"Funny." She said. "I'd say the same about you."

"…what?"

The wood finish halls looked incredibly clean and polish. There were trophy cases and paintings of old people on the walls. Only a few students were in the halls. We were both there pretty early.

"It's all about punching each other's lights out, isn't it?" Catilin said.

"Not completely." I said. "There's the _not getting hit_ part, the _breaking the other guys nose _part…"

I spun her around and put both arms around her.

"…and the _coming home a champion to make out with his incredibly awesome girlfriend_ part."

She raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Well let's hope you come home a champion."

"Would it really matter?"

"Of course not."

I smiled back and kissed her.

"Good luck on your presentation today." I said.

"Ok." She said, and I kissed her again.

I let her go, and she walked down the hall.

"HEY!" Another boxing club member shouted. "LET'S GO DAMIEN!"

I hurried up to get changed for practice.

* * *

I only had four out of seven classes with Catilin, and they only happened after lunch.

First period: Boxing. I practiced with the guys. They made sure I was good and ready to take on the undefeated champ at our rival school, Pinkerton High.

Coach (not his real name but is what everyone calls him), was a big white man with a shaved head and a big beard. He'd been like a second father to me.

He gave me some advice and stats on their champ.

"His name is Freddy Juarrez. He's got a mean left hook, and a right hook to match it. He's more of a _in-fighter_ than anything. He hits hard and quick. But you got stamina over him."

"Coach…how'd you find all of this out?"

"Does it matter? Besides, they got info on you too. I thought I'd just even the playing field."

_Not really sure if all of this is legal but…ok._

Second Period: English. Really boring. I like the teacher though, Mr. Moore, because he thinks what he's teaching is so interesting.

"Mr. Bartel, that last essay on The Glass Castle was very inspiring. Well done."

"Thanks Mr. Moore."

"I mean your grasp on the complete dysfunction of that family was truly inspiring!"

"Again…thanks."

"Have you ever thought you should pursue a career in writing?"

"Well…not particularly…until this moment!"

Third Period: Computer Science. A throw away class. I really had no interest in learning how to use a computer's every program. I'd mostly just surf the web on news.

And there was this one guy, Kory I think his name was, who was just creepy as hell. I had no idea how he got in this school, but I wasn't going to go near him.

He'd look up and read these…comics I think they were.

_No…manga. They're called manga. There's a difference…somehow._

After that…lunch.

Julian had off campus lunch, as well as a very nice cafeteria, but students were allowed either equally.

I'd meet Catilin in the front of the arch that led to the science wing.

I saw her, talking with one of her close friends, Nancy Swam.

I liked her ok, but she was a bit of a snob. Too much so for my tastes.

I think it was all the school pride she had.

She noticed me, then gestured her head to Catilin to turn around.

Caitlin's face looked happy to see me, but I could tell she was bummed about something.

"What's the matter babe?" I asked, she came in and hugged me. "Hey Nancy." I said, and Nancy nodded politely.

Catilin was pouting. "I got an 80 on the last test."

"The one you studied for like four hours for?" I said in shock.

She nodded her head.

"I still think Mrs. Blatt is just jealous of Catilin's natural smarts and work ethic." Nancy said as-o-matter-of-factly.

Nancy had very short brown hair, didn't wear the jacket to her uniform, and had…well…a very weird shaped nose.

It like…pointed up at an angle at the end so that no matter how she looked it was like she had her nose to the air 24/7.

Mrs. Platt however, had the nasty reputation of being the worse teacher in the science wing. An old, wrinkly woman with a wig and a bad attitude. Somehow, Catilin had been managing with very high A's, but the occasional B got slipped in there by…the Blatt.

"It's ok Cat…you know what'll cheer you up?"

She looked up at me. "A new Anatomy teacher?"

"Well, I meant more along the lines of a chicken sandwich from Chick-Fil-A."

"Milkshake too?"

"Sure…milkshake too."

We met Nancy inside the fast-food joint, placed our orders, and sat there waiting for the food.

The lunch break was close to an hour long, so we had plenty of time to talk.

Nancy was telling Catilin the latest gossip, as she normally did, who did this and who did who.

I wasn't particularly interested in the conversation, I just sat there holding Cat's hand.

I spent most of my time looking around the restaurant, like I hadn't seen one in ages.

_Was it always this red and orange?_

"Honestly, I don't know how you two have stayed together so long, and I can't hold on to a guy for barely a month!" She exasperated, sipping her soda.

"Well…maybe if you'd lower that nose every once in a while…"

-STOMP-

Cat dug her heel into my foot. "What he means is, it's the way you hold yourself around guys; you set a very demanding tone."

_A quick save by Catilin and her three inch thick heel._

"Well, not all people were blesses with big boobs, a nice ass, AND substance. Ask Damien, he'd tell ya." Nancy shrugged.

I looked at Catilin; she looked at me with her arms crossed.

"You are the most…perfect pretty smart girl…ever. Exclamation point." I said.

She didn't seem too pleased.

"Oh relax Cat, it's all on me." Nancy ensured her.

She handed me her cup. "Hey, fill her up would ya Damien?"

I grabbed her cup, gave her a look, and went to fill it up.

I reached for the dispenser.

_**Sc…Mi…he…eed…w…k….st…p….y….r…..ord…..WA…..P!**_

"GUAH!" I gripped my head. In pain.

_**Sc…Mi…he…eed…w…k….st…p….y….r…..ord…..WA…..P!**_

It was like a piercing shriek, stabbing me in the gray matter with an ice pick.

"Damien!"

Catilin ran over to me, other people started to get worried.

The sound silenced, I released my head.

"Oh my God…are you ok?" Catilin said.

"Yeah…just a…freak migraine. Nothing serious."

Catilin looked at Nancy. "You need to get to the school nurse. You can't risk an injury before the match today."

I saw Nancy was packing up the food.

"Nono…it's fine."

"No, it's not!" Catilin said loudly, but stifled it as more people started to stare. "Just please, let me drive…"

"You think I'd give you my keys, without a license, and let you drive my car?"

"Better than if I trust you behind the wheel." She said.

I grabbed my keys. "I'm driving. I'll go to the nurse, but I'M driving."

* * *

Well, I could kiss my 4th and 5th period goodbye. I ended up staying in the clinic for two periods, and took some of Catilin's aspirin.

I'd have to wait until Choir to see Catilin again. Thankfully the nurse signed me a note to let me go at 6th period.

I was only in Choir because Catilin was in it. She was perhaps the best singer in the whole group of 75.

I was modest at best, and could play guitar. But…it was Catilin who taught me how do either of those things…

I walked in during warm ups, gave my note to Mr. Hanalo, the assistant director, and stood in my spot in the top row.

The choir was a good group of people, if not a little…conceited.

I sat next to Leo Harrison. He'd been my friend since middle school, and was a pretty nice guy. It really didn't bug me he was the best singer in our choir.

The period went by pretty quickly; we'd already finished the year's big UIL, got sweepstakes in every category (means we got straight ones, which is the perfect score mind you). We were just practicing for practicing sakes I suppose.

After choir me and Catilin walked to the other side of the school for period 6, Calculus.

If Catilin hadn't of been in that class, I'm pretty sure I would have flunked on day 6.

She sat next to me, and rubbed my shoulder.

"Are you sure you're ok? You really scared me back there." She said lovingly.

I nodded my head. "Just fine. I'm just fine."

She nodded her head, but still looked at me with worry.

That period also seemed to go by really fast, nothing really noteworthy happened during those fifty minutes.

"God, that lecture took forever." Catilin complained as we walked out the door.

"Really? I thought it was pretty quick."

Mr. Bartel." A voice said from behind me.

We both turned around and saw Jack: a hall monitor not many people seemed to like very much.

I thought he was fine, just needed a bit more…personality.

"The principal wants to see you." He said, and gave me a slip of paper to confirm that.

"What for?"

"He really didn't say. Only that you weren't in trouble." He said.

I looked at Catilin, and let go of her hand.

"I'll see you as soon as possible ok?"

She nodded, and I followed Jack to the principal's office.

* * *

Mr. Galiger was not a very imposing man. He was shorter than me, very skinny and frail looking.

He wore pinstriped suits, had a buzz cut, and had notably thin cheeks on his face.

However, his appearance was a bit misleading. His voice was loud and kind.

"Mr. Bartel!" He said loudly, holding his hands out in happiness as I walked in though his door.

"Hello sir." I said respectfully.

"Come in! Come in! I was just about to make some tea. Would you care for some?" He said, messing with the tea kettle on the desk along the wall.

"No thanks sir." I declined.

"Well, come sit, sit." He said, with a polite smile on his face.

I sat in the velvet chair on the opposite side of his center desk.

He sat in his bigger office chair, set down his cup, and looked at me with a serious look.

"How are you feeling?"

I shrugged. "Look, I don't know what you heard…"

"From Miss Grey?" He asked. (By that he meant Catilin.) "Or by Miss Swam? Or by the school nurse who gave me the report?"

I stopped talking.

"Mr. Bartel, there's no need to be shy. I want nothing but the best from you. And if there's something happening that's stopping you from achieving that, it's my job to help. Because that's what I do. With you, and every other person in this school who wants it."

I sighed, thinking there could be no harm in telling him.

"It was just a headache. Nothing too bad."

He tapped his fingers on his cup. "How have you been feeling lately? I know you're anxious to graduate right? Ready to out into the world and make something of yourself?"

I shook my head. "No sir. Actually, I'm terrified."

He raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, I keep my spirits up for Catilin's sake but…I feel like…it's all happened so fast. I can't have a moment to relax anymore."

"Well, these things will play out the way they were meant to be." He said. "But I have a good feeling that you'll do just fine."

I looked up at him. "You think so sir?"

He clapped his hands together. "Absolutely! I've got a sixth sense about these thing Mr. Bartel. And I don't say that to everybody. Some people don't have the work ethic, the attitude, the spark to make it. But you…I think you'll find everything you've ever wanted and more."

I was touched by his encouragement.

His eyes squinted at me. "My boy, you trying to grow a beard?"

I had no idea what he was talking about.

I touched my face, and felt…hair.

"Um…no sir. Just…haven't had time for shaving lately."

_I could of sworn I was clean this morning…_

"Ok then." He said, with an eyebrow still raise. "Now, I think that will bring this meeting to a close. I've got many things to do, and so do you Mr. Bartel. Good luck in the match."

He held out his hand, and I shook it.

"Better head down to the gym. Don't want to be late for practice."

"But there's still…"

-RIIIIIIIING-

The final bell run.

"Still what, Mr. Bartel?" He asked.

"Nothing sir." I said, and proceeded to walk out the door.

* * *

I was in my athletic gear: gym shit, shorts, sneakers and all laced up with boxing gloves.

-BAM- -BAM-

I was wailing on a bean bag at the corner of the weight room.

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

I looked at myself in the mirror, tiny hairs all over my chin.

I was thinking a lot: about what happened today.

How so much of it seemed to just fly by, and that headache…

_It almost sounded like…someone was trying to talk to me._

-BOOM- -BOOM- -BAM-

"Whoa Screaver! Don't hit too hard! You still got a fight to win!"

I didn't recognize the voice: so I wondered who in the hell knew me by that name.

I turned to see…someone I didn't recognize.

It was…a man. A thirty year old man by the looks of him. In a gray suit.

He had black tortoise shell sunglasses on, and a gray fedora that matched his suit.

He walked up to me a little too quickly for my comfort.

"Whoa now dude, I don't know what you want but…"

"We don't have time for this." He said, talking his glasses off in a hurry. "We need to go, now. We have a fight to win? Remember?"

I scoffed and turned back around. "Don't worry sir. I'm completely ready to take Freddy on."

"Who?" He shouted. "No! Focus Screaver!"

I turned back around to shout back at the man, but…he was gone.

"What the?"

I rubbed my eyes, sure I was going crazy.

But there was no man there…

"Damien!" I heard Bruce call out in the hallway. "Better shower up and get something to eat."

I blinked hard. "Right…say. Did you see anybody come down the hallway?"

"Very funny man, now come on!" He shouted.

* * *

Well, the hour of the fight came.

I was all fresh, wearing my clean boxing uniform, all laced up with a fresh pair of gloves.

Freddy was thinner than me. He had longer arms, a smaller head, and worse teeth than me.

12 three minute rounds. Head gear.

I planned on making this one a knock out…

"Remember Bartel," Coach said to me, rubbing my shoulders. "You got more stamina than this guy."

"Right."

There were a lot of people in the stands: from both schools. You could tell which was which from the red and blue uniforms.

Freddy looked at me with determination.

I nodded back at him and slipped in my mouth guard.

The judges made their statements: Damien Bartel from Julian High vs. Freddy Juarrez from Pinkerton High.

-DING-

We got in close, Freddy made the first move.

-BAM-

Left hook, blocked.

-BAM- -BAM-

Two right hooks, both blocked.

-BOOM-

Lower punch to stomach, direct hit.

He took a step back, then countered.

-BAM-

Left punch to the head, grazed my ear.

-BAM-

Uppercut to the jaw, direct hit.

Had to hand it to him, he was fast.

But I was distracted. That man from before freaked me out a bit.

_Who the hell was he? How'd he know my name?_

-BAM-

Thinkning about I wasn't helping me.

-DING-

Round 1 over.

I went back and sat down.

"Focus Bartel! You're thinking too much about something!" Coach said, wiping my brow.

The cutman checked my face and chin.

I nodded at Coach. "Won't happen again sir."

-DING-

Round 2.

_Let's kick it up a notch._

I whirled my fist and threw a hard left punch.

-**BOOM**-

The fist sent him back a few steps, but I pressed on.

I threw a cross, but he ducked and hit me good with an uppercut.

That got the audience oo-ing.

I breathed in deeply, anger rising to my face.

_COME ON!_

Two more rounds followed after that. I wasn't making any progress against him.

He was really fast, and I was just not at my best.

He hit me again, and then I got…angry.

_Let's show this mother…fucker who's boss._

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

I pressed him hard; one punch after another. He had to take steps back to try and avoid the full blow of all of them.

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

He saw a flaw in my form and hit me with three consecutive blows.

I glared at him.

I gripped my fists tight.

"Hrrrrr…64 Hit…COMBO!"

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM- BAM- BAM- BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

I unleashed a furry of punches so fast I felt like I was dislocating my arms.

I pummeled him into the corner, and then stopped.

I held up my hands, breathing heavily, containing my anger.

Freddy just stood there, eyes half open until…

-BOOM-

He collapsed.

The audience was silent.

I looked at them, and saw Catilin look at me with disbelief and worry.

"Um…1…2…3…" the reff started to count.

He just kept counting, and I just stood there in disbelief.

_How did I…and that just…happened._

"8…9…10! Knock out!"

He held up my hand. "Winner, Damien Bartel!"

-**WHOOOOHOOOO-**

Everyone cheered, even a few of the Pinkerton kids whooped and applauded.

I looked at Catilin, who just mouthed at me…_what the hell?_

I mouthed back…_I.D.K._

* * *

Well, both Catilin and I ducked out of the after party pretty quickly after we saw the chance.

I shook a few people's hands: the superintendent, Mr. Galiger, Coach was just so proud of me.

"I never seen a knock out like that. You're like a God among men!"

That sort of creeped me out.

I was driving Catilin home, she wasn't saying much.

"Well, I did come back a champion." I tried to joke.

She just looked at me.

I looked back to the road.

"That was…scary Screaver." She said. "I mean, I know everyone else will tell you that it was brilliant but…you didn't see the look you had in your eyes."

I grit my teeth.

"So much…rage." She said quietly.

I pulled up to her house.

She sighed. "I mean, I've gotten use to see you fight but…it was never that intense."

"Are you…ok?" I asked, not really sure about what to say.

"Yeah…it's fine." She said. "It's not like this is something that should be a problem."

She was about to open the door, but I stopped her.

I had been putting this off all day until we were completely alone.

"Catilin. You remember what I told you when I first met you?"

She thought for a second. "If anyone was…fixin' to harm me you'd turn them into a heep of nothing? _Very poetic_."

I shrugged. "I wasn't very literate back then, I'll admit. But you changed that. You've…been one of the most important people in my life. And you still are, and I want you to continue to be."

I reached behind me, and pulled out the felt box.

"Happy Anniversary." I said.

I presented her the box.

She looked at it in surprise. "You remembered…oh Screaver."

She opened it, and covered her mouth in shock.

"It's…beautiful."

It was a white gold necklace, with a little emerald at the end of it. The pendant was in the shape of a heart that looked like it had a wing on the left side.

I had picked it out a few days prior. Bought it with my own money.

"I didn't…I'm so sorry…" She said, starting to tear up.

"It's ok. I don't need anything in return."

I told her to turn around so I could put it on her.

It looked amazing on her.

"I…I love you Catilin. So much." I said.

She nodded, trying to hold back tears. "I love you too…Screaver."

And we held the most amazing kiss for about a minute.

"You know, there is still one thing we can do to make this anniversary better…" I said with a devious smile.

She smiled back. "Not today, family and what not. However…tomorrow, they're out of town."

I raised an eyebrow. "Well…I'll have to keep you company."

She nodded and gave me a smile. "Goodnight Damien."

"Goodnight…Catilin."

I gave her another kiss and she got out of the car.

I was feeling…pretty damn good about myself.

_I have to be the luckiest guy in the world._

I scratched my chin, and felt…hairs.

I looked in the rear view mirror.

I had…a beard.

A short one albeit, but still…I didn't have one this morning.

_What's happening to me?_

_**SCRE...ER! C...N YOU H...RE**_** M...?**

"YEOW!"

The voice...it was defiantly a voice, piercing my brain.

"Stop! STOP! Who are you?!"

I pounded the steering wheel in pain.

_**WHAT? ON N... I'M S...RRY! HOL... ON! I'LL G...T YOU...PFF TF****FFFT**** PFFFFFFF!**_

And just like that, it was gone.


	102. Chapter 102

The Awakening

Which One's Not Like The Others

Well, the day unwound pretty normally after I dropped of Catilin.

I went home and made myself some dinner.

Mom was out again on some business trip to San Antonio, dad was out with the guys getting a drink, and my sister was staying over at another friends house.

I sat there, in the dining room, with a bowl of soup reading a book.

The house was dark and quiet. It kind of off put me a bit, so I got the remote and turned the TV on.

It flipped on the news, and the new light and sound made me feel a little more comfortable.

_I never realized how big the TV was…_

After I finished the soup, I washed the dishes and headed upstairs to clean up.

I looked in the mirror at my scruffy face.

_Something is really wrong…_

I first took a shower. It felt really good, like I hadn't had one in months.

Afterwards, I got some shaving cream and began shaving off the scruff.

In a few minutes, it was all gone. I was clean shaven yet again.

Then I brushed my teeth and got in some different clothes.

I walked into my room, standing at the silver mirror again.

_I don't remember having this mirror._

I looked around the whole room again.

_I…remember that poster. Getting it signed when I won those tickets. And when we took that picture at choir. And…what's that?_

On my dresser, was a silver circular looking thing.

It opened. It was a stop watch.

Inside, was a picture of…Catilin.

She was smiling, wearing a beautiful low-cut blue dress.

I smiled at it in comfort.

_I remember this alright._

I closed it and put it back.

I sat in my bed and looked up at the lights.

-CLAP- -CLAP-

The lights flicked off.

* * *

I tried to get some sleep, but before I could, the lights flicked back on.

"Oh come on!"

-CLAP- -CLAP-

They flicked off.

I nodded in approval. I put my head back down until…

-FLICK-

I growled in anger.

"The clapper? Seriously?"

I jumped in surprise.

I looked at the front of my room to see a man in a gray suit.

The man from before…

"Who…how the hell did you get here? What do you want?"

He sighed.

"I was afraid of this." He said.

"Afraid of what? That I'd wake up? Well sucks buddy, because I'm calling the police!"

He smacked his forehead, like this whole situation was annoying to him or something.

"Honestly Screaver, what has he done to you?" He said.

I stood up, balling my fists. "You got no right to call me by that name."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really, and…why not?"

I paused. This man looked…confident. Like he was in control of the situation.

_He might have a gun._

"I just…don't like people using that name."

"Why not?" He said. "It's your first name, nothing to be ashamed of. It's actually pretty unique don't you think?"

My anger seemed to fade away. "Well…I don't like it when people call me by that name is all."

"Really?" He said, making a clicking sound with his teeth. "Why?"

I…didn't have anything to say.

"I…don't know."

He shook his head. "Really bad work with the memory there. Giving you a response without proper background to certain stimulus. Even a simple question can derail the implant."

"What are you talking about?" I said, anger coming back. "Get out of my house! Just...take my money or something and go!"

He shook his head again. "I'm not here for something as stupid as _money_, I'm here to rescue you."

"From what?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Think Screaver…think real hard. Can you not see something is _very _wrong? Memories of things just…seemed to be in your mind. Only certain objects seem to bring up very specific memories? Blanks in your history? Any of this ringing a bell?"

I was afraid of what this psycho might do to me, all the weird things he was saying and whatnot.

But while I was unsure about what he was saying…what he said…though I hated to admit it…sounded familiar.

"Yeah." I said, though unsure about saying it. "I guess I do…feel similar."

"Well I'm here to tell you why." He said, and took a step forward. "You are not _Damien_ Bartel, the golden High Schooler with good grades and a perfect life. This is all…a trick. An illusion. It's all in your head."

What he said seemed to strike me as…unbelievable.

"Yeah right." I said. "That's just…crazy."

"Well, coming from you, your real life is crazy." He said. "I mean, I can't go into detail because we'll be here for hours and by then Suimasu will have detected me."

I hadn't heard the name before, but when he said it, it invoked strong emotions in me.

I felt angry, and sad…

"You see, the body and soul must be on the same page about certain things. The soul is set one way, so is the body. When outside forces tamper with one or the other, things can get…confusing."

"The soul?"

"Your body's been tampered with, but your soul is still unaltered. Your memories, appearance, all changed by magic."

I scoffed. "Now I know you're full of...it."

He paused at what I said. "Now, call me crazy, but the Screaver I knew never shied away from saying a curse word. In fact, he's adopted every curse word into his normal speech."

"I don't like cursing."

"You _think_ you don't. But if you actually say one, you won't feel a thing. Go on…try it."

I still thought he was crazy.

"I don't have to say a thing." I said. "I'm still fixing to call the cops on you."

He stomped his foot, and the room…changed.

I didn't really comprehend what I was seeing.

The room seemed to be a lit with a dim, blue glow. Everything was like in a colored filter.

"I don't think anyone can find us now."

I was getting worried. "Where…what have you done to my room?"

"I've put up a barrier. Isolating you from this worlds influence. Maybe now you'll think straight!"

_Who the hell does this asshole think he is?_

…_I didn't mean to curse like that._

"Screaver, please. Trust me. I'm here to help."

"How?" I said. "By making my room all blue with your trick lights or something?"

He pinched his brow, like he was frustrated. "I'm trying to break the barriers of hypnosis he's put on your mind!"

"Who? This _Suimasu_ guy? What kind of name is that?"

He walked up to me, and looked me in the eyes. "Screaver, you have to come back! Luffy and Nami and all the others are counting on us to come back! They NEED you!"

I didn't recognize any of the strange names he spoke of but…emotions of happiness seem to come from them.

"I…Who…who are you?"

He smiled. "I'm your conscience remember? I'm Michael."

"Wha..."

I started trembling. I couldn't stop.

_But...Michael...no...no I don't..._

"I'm just…just a kid in high school…"

"No." He said, his voice very soft and kind. "You're the biggest badass this world's ever seen."

Something…was tearing at me inside my head. Not painfully but...it felt I was loosing a grip on reality.

Questions popped into my head from out of nowhere. Thoughts and...memories pushing their way into my skull.

"But…but I don't…"

I looked at my hands. Tears were streaming down my face and dripped into my palms.

I didn't...I _wasn't_ me. I knew that. Someone else...the other me...the real me was coming back.

I wasn't me...I knew that. But...I didn't want to let go.

"I know Screaver. You may be under his influence, but deep down…this is what you've always wanted."

I looked at him with a look of helplessness.

"I have…I have a good life." I said. The words seemed to come from another part of my mind.

He nodded his head. "I know. It's everything you ever wanted and more. I feel terrible for having to end it but…it's not _real_ Screaver. And if you stayed, more people would get hurt. People you _care_ about. And you'd eventually die from it."

My brain felt like it was in a washing machine.

"I'm…I'm…"

-CLICK-

I got to my feet, and looked at Michael with intense eyes.

"I'm…Screaver D. Motherfuckin' BARTEEEEEL!"

Michael clapped his hands together.

"Welcome back man."

I…I was me.

I couldn't believe that I was me again.

I didn't remember how…or when I changed back.

Just one second I was this smart, clean, different person and then I was…me.

Memories came flooding back to me: Landing in the One Piece World, fighting bad guys, drinking with…Luffy, kissing Nami.

Up to the part when…they all told me they never wanted to see me again…

Even then I couldn't help but feel sad at the thought of that moment.

"They said…they didn't…"

"A trick." Michael assured me. "Another illusion to reduce you to a helpless state so he could enter your mind."

"So…Suimasu. Some kind of demon?"

Michael shook his head. "I figured out enough when I tried to come back to your mind. While I was away, Suimasu found a way into your head and…replaced me."

"So…you're not my guardian angel anymore?"

"Well technically speaking, correct." He said. "He used a combination of hypnosis suggestions, aroma therapy and Gabriel's magic to accomplish that."

"He gave Suimasu his powers?"

"He's another member." Michael said. "Just like me. He, like Gabriel, took a body and lost most of his powers. He's seemed to retain a small amount of them though. The way Gabriel spoke to me, he thought he could convert another to help him. I'm guessing Suimasu was the first."

"Well, that's no good."

"He used your memory to create this world. But since we're in your head, he's here, impersonating as someone to keep an eye on you. He's been blocking my every chance to get to you, but this time I was able to erect a barrier to get here undetected."

"So he was the one who sent you away when you talked to me in the gym?" I asked.

"Correct." He said. "We have to find him, and beat him. Render him unable to hold his position in this world, and I can take over."

I looked at the mirror in the room. In didn't seem to change color with the rest of the room.

"Hey Michael. Is that…"

"A portal to the real world? Not exactly." He said. "Only if we disable Suimasu could we actually use it as a way out."

I looked in the mirror at myself.

I had to admit it, I was looking good. Clean shaven, a nice tan, no nasty scars.

But even as I looked I could see my old self begin to show. My beard was coming back in slightly, my skin becoming paler, scars faintly coming back.

"Your appearance in here is reflecting your true form. It will only get worse as time goes by. We have to find Suimasu tomorrow."

"Why not go at him now?" I asked.

"He still controls the board." Michael said. "If he detects something, one touch and you'll be back to your brainwashed self."

"So…who is he?"

I struggled to think of all the people I met today.

It was like my true memories were rewriting my false ones, erasing them from my mind.

"I…I have a…nope. Forgot already."

Michael looked at me gravely. "Yeah…you have quite a few friends. But don't forget: each person here represents a real memory you have. So the one that you don't recollect is Suimasu."

"Well then, we'll have to…go to school to find out."

He grabbed my hand and faded away.

_I'll be hiding out in here, masking my presence until we find him._

_And then…_

_I'll face him. You have no hope to face him seeing as how he can just turn this reality into nothing._

I sat back in bed, staring at the walls of posters and pictures I only barely recognized.

_This is gonna be a looooong night._

* * *

Well, finally morning came.

I jumped out of bed, threw on some clothes I saw in my huge closet, and ran out the door.

_Screaver! Julian is a prep school now! You have a uniform._

_WHAT? Ugh, this is bull shit._

I redid my dressing, putting on the stuffy and pompous uniform, and walked down the steps.

The shirt was messy and untucked, the tie was crooked, I hung the pants a big lower than what they should have been.

I couldn't believe how big and…expensive looking my house was.

Two floors, decorative paintings, a big ass chandelier over the den, a fire place, and the 30 inch plasma screen!

The kitchen was really nice too!

My…mom was sitting at the table, drinking a cup of coffee.

I almost broke down at the sight of my mother again.

I hadn't seen her in so long, and seeing her again made me…homesick.

"He…hey ma."

She looked at me and gave me a great smile.

Her long black hair was smooth and had a head band to keep it out of her face. She wore a brown business suit, like she used to when she was a saleswoman.

"Mornin." She said. "I heard about yesterday."

"Yesterday?"

"How you knocked that other kid out in less than three rounds. Great job." She said, hinting sarcasm. "Always glad to see I raised a _civilized_ delinquent."

I nodded at her. "Where's dad?"

She looked at me. "At work. Like he always is?"

"Oh…right."

I walked up to the table; she was still looking at me.

"Mom…can you…stand up?"

She put down her cup, her face had a look of worry. "Did something happen last night?"

As soon as she stood up, I put my arms around her.

I gave her a big hug.

"Damien! What the…don't tell me you broke up with…"

I didn't even register her words. "It's fine…I just…just wanted to tell you…I love ya mom."

I hadn't seen my mom in so long, I just…lost it.

Honestly, as things were going right now, I was afraid I'd never have another chance to see her again.

I wasn't going to waste it.

She patted me on the back. "I love you too son. Now can you…let go?"

I let go, wiping away the tears trying to form in my eyes.

"Don't you have school?" She said.

"Oh right right. School." I said, looking around. "Say you…know where my keys are?"

She sighed, and pointed to the counter right next to me.

"If it were a snake, it'd bit ja. Now get going."

I picked them up, had one last look at her, and walked off.

_That was…oddly touching of you._ Michael said.

_I had to. It feels even worse knowing she's not really there._

_Her memory is. And that's what's important._ Michael said.

I walked out to the drive way, and saw…the most luxurious, beautiful car I'd ever seen.

A Lamborghini by the looks of it.

A solid red shinning one.

"Is…this mine?"

_Yep. You lucky dog._ Michael said.

* * *

I barely remembered how to drive, having not been behind the wheel in almost a year.

-VROOOOOM-

The engine was sweet.

-BOOM-

I hit a mail box.

"SHIT! SORRY!"

-VROOOOOOM-

_Where is the school?_

_Lucky for you, I have a map of this place. Turn left up ahead._ Michael chimed in like a GPS.

Within a few minutes, I pulled into the parking lot of a beautiful and well built school made of dark brown brick and wood.

The only thing that ruined the image for me was the Julian High sign on the front.

_Ugh…that school was absolute shit. He could have at least changed the name._

I pulled into the parking lot, when some nagging thought came into my head.

_Did I…forget something?_

…_no._ Michael said.

_It feels like…I forgot something._

_Screaver, we have an important job to do. The sooner we track this guy down, the faster we get back to the Upper Yard._ Michael said impatiently.

_Ok ok! Just…wondering._

I couldn't ignore the sensation, but I pressed on.

_First period, boxing._ Michael stated.

_Really? I have to go to class?_

_It's the only way to find him. He's someone who has a chance to check on you every day._ Michael stated.

* * *

Well, it was no one in the 1st period.

All the members were jocks, bullies, and assholes I knew before. Yet they all treated me like I was their friend.

They kept talking about the fight I fought last night, but I had a hard time remembering what it was.

"That was a knock out like I'd never seen!" This guy named Bruce said.

I vaguely remembered Bruce. The asshole douche bag ginger who was boyfriend to…to…someone I was friends with.

Come to think of it, I really hated Bruce. Like...REALLY hated him but...

_Back on topic Screaver._ Michael seemed to press me.

_What's with you? It's like every time I try to think about…something you try and block it._

…_Sorry._

2nd period.

Nope. English class, everyone was connected to a vague memory but they couldn't have been Suimasu. Even the English teacher, Mr. Moore was a real guy in my life.

3rd Period. Again, everyone was good.

It was some sort of computer class, but the teacher wasn't there and a note on the board said _study._

I saw a scraggy teenager in the back corner I instantly recognized as Kory, my pot head friend in the 12th grade.

I sat next to him, he eyed me evilly. "The hell you want?"

I was surprised at his attitude. "Nothing. What you reading?"

I tried to see his computer screen, caught a glimpse of a 21 and football players.

"Is that…Eyeshield 21?" I asked him.

He raised an eyebrow. "You know…about manga?"

"Fuck yeah bro!" I said.

We spent the next period talking about our favorite, I dominated the conversation about One Piece, but he knew a crap ton about Bleach and Naruto.

It was a nice period. Even when some of my other _apparent _friends in that class stared at us like we were crazy.

* * *

I wanted to use my lunch time to search the school, looking for any face I didn't recognize.

It was weird. People I hadn't really had a definite memory about seemed to be vaguely familiar.

"DAMIEN BARTEL!" A girl's voice shouted from behind me.

_Now what kind of girl would possibly want to talk to me?_

I turned to see…the most…bangin smoking hot chick I'd ever seen in my life!

Oh my God she was soooooo beautiful!

She had long, beautiful goldy blond hair, the most amazingly cute face. Big beautiful brown eyes and flawless peach skin.

And her breasts were just…outstanding! How they could be so perfect I didn't even know.

And the waist and…OH GEEZ!

She was such a hot babe but…she looked pretty mad at me.

She fast walked up to me, balling her fists as she grit her teeth.

_Who the hell…_

_Oh God…_ Michael said, sounding actually afraid.

She punched me in the arm, not very hard mind you, but still it startled me.

"You know, I can understand if you can't pick me up, but you need to AT LEAST send me a text so I don't end up late to school and having to get a ride from my dad! He JUST got a colonoscopy mind you!"

She was pretty mad at me, but…I didn't recognize her.

_Who's this suppose to be? Did Suimasu pull a gender-bender?_

…

_Michael?_

_Um…_ Michael's voice was shaky, like he felt incredibly guilty about something.

"Whoa calm down…girl." I said, trying to calm her. "I'm sure whatever I did was…"

She raised an eyebrow. "You think you're trying to be cute? Maybe I won't let you come over tonight!"

I raised an eyebrow.

_Was she…the school's prostitute?_

"Reschedule?" I said, with my arms in the air.

She threw her arms into the air and made a disgusted sound, trudging off down the hall. "I'm not talking to you right now."

A random guy with blond hair walked up to me. "Dude, did you two have a fight?"

I vaguely recognized him, just a regular, nothing special but I asked, "Can I ask you what she is to me?"

"Dude! Are you on drugs or something?" He said. "Right after your 3rd year anniversary too maaaaaan."

_3 year…anniversary…_

_Oh...I get it..._

"FUCKIN SHIT! SHE MY GUUUUURLFRIEND?"

_I had a GIRLFRIIIEND?!_

I didn't know whether to be enthralled or terrified, but I put the idea out of my mind.

I ran down the hall after her with all my speed, but then made a 180 and went back to the blond dude.

"Any chance you can give me her name?"

"Um…Catilin?"

"THANKS BRO!"

And I ran after her with full speed.

I finally caught up with her, shouting, "HOLD UP! WAIT A SECOND!"

She didn't look at me, but I ran around her and stood in front of her.

She looked up at me, arms crossed, pouting.

I'll admit, it was hard to look her in the eye. Because she was so…well…beautiful.

"I'm sorry, ok?" I said, holding up my arms in surrender. "I'm not having the best of mornings…"

I sounded nervous as I spoke to her, but she seemed to ease up. "I'll say. You look terrible."

She got in close to me, trying to fix my tie.

I was really close to her. Her body was warm and comforting. She smelled…really nice.

She looked up at me, her face about a few inches away from mine. "What?"

I was probably blushing, my face felt hot. "Um…nothing."

She scoffed. "Yeah right. What is it? I wasn't born yesterday."

"I…don't know when you were born…" I mumbled.

She giggled a bit at that statement. "Come on Damien. I was looking for you all morning."

She put her soft, delicate hand in my big rough hand. "I was really worried. You scared me."

Now at this point, I thought this Catilin girl was Suimasu. It would make sense.

My girlfriend, spent lots of time together, and I couldn't for the life of me remember her.

But, she was touching me alright and…I was still me.

_It's not her…_ Michael said.

"She's…uh…"

"She?" Catilin said. "Who's she?"

"Um…you are! _She's a maniac…maniac…on the…_" I sung half heartedly.

She shook her head. "You're such a dork."

I chuckled nervously. "Look…_**Cat-**ilin_, I'm sorry. But I have something…very important to do right now. I need some time."

She looked concerned. "What is it? I'm sure I can help."

I looked down the hall nervously. "It's…no. You can't. I have to do this alone alright? It's fine…"

She grabbed my hand tighter. "You've got that_ cornered rat_ look in your eyes…you're making me nervous. Are you in trouble?"

The way she spoke to me, all concerned and caring like, made me feel worse and worse.

I mean, she might not be real but…she was a really nice and pretty girl. She obviously cared a lot about me and…I felt horrible that I was too busy trying to leave her behind and stop the world she lived in.

I mustered up a smile. "I'm not in trouble. Don't worry…"

I put my arms around her, trying to be comforting but coming off more…awkward.

"I'm just looking for someone. Once I find him, things will settle out and…we'll be just fine."

I unsurely kissed her on the head, like they do in the movies when trying to comfort a girl, and looked at her one more time before I let her go.

"You're still coming over tonight right?" She said, like we had planned something the night before.

Blood pulsed in my ears. I had to say something.

I gave her a weak smile as I lied, "Yeah. I'll see you later."

She still looked worried, but the lie seemed to work and she smiled. "Ok. See you tonight. Love you Damien."

_Damien…_

"Screaver. Screaver Bartel." I mumbled.

She giggled. "Ok. _Screaver._ Love you…_Screaver._"

And she walked down the hall, each step seemed to make me feel worse and worse.

_Michael, Michael listen up._

…_What? _He said.

_Now I know something's up with that girl. Whether I just can't remember her or something else is at work I don't know, and you might have something to do with it or not._

_I…I do._ He said, still trembling a bit.

_Whatever. You can tell me all about it later. After we find that skinny bastard, who's created all these people and made me all regretful and shit._

_I will…I promise. It's a long story yes but…you deserve to know._ He said, overcoming his shakiness.

_Right! Let's find this asshole!_

"Mr. Bartel." A familiar voice said from behind me.

In fact…I recognized it immediately.

A feminine male voice.

I whirled around to see…a thin man with a buzz cut and a pinstriped suit.

But his voice…it was Suimasu's alright.

I didn't break character. "Hello…_Mr. Galiger_."


	103. Chapter 103

The Tragic Tale is Told

Planning My Exit Strategy

I was onto this…_Mr. Galiger._

His effeminate voice is what gave him. But he spoke with such confidence I almost didn't think it could be.

But I was sure, this was the guy.

He led me though the halls, I'd look at everything on the walls, waiting for the chance to…

_Hold on. We found him. Now what?_

_Give me some time to prepare._ Michael said. _It takes a lot of concentration to form into this world. Just keep him occupied for 10 minutes. And don't let him touch you, or he'll sense me and we'll be back to square one._

_And I DON'T want to go through that crap again._

He opened the door to his office, which had his name on the window.

He waved me in, and to avoid him patting me on the back, I leaned over just out of his reach.

He seemed to be suspicious after that but, I only needed to stall for another 7 minutes.

"Sit my boy, sit!" He said, a friendly grin on his face.

I sat, but I was never good at hiding my emotions.

And I was seriously pissed at this guy. For lying to me about my crew, for wiping my memory, for giving me a sweet life only for it to be ultimately taken from me…

I was gonna kick his ass once we got back to the real world.

He manipulated me, brainwashed me and left me a clean, well spoken member of society.

I'm a fuckin' delinquent for Christ's sake!

"So Mr. Bartel," He said, walking over to his big chair, "I hope you know why I called you here."

I scratched my nose. "Um, no sir. Did I do somethin' wrong?"

"Somethin'?" He repeated. "Well I don't know about somethin', but how about that match last night huh? You impressed some mighty important people in the audience."

_Ok, I'm sick of hearing about this fucking match. What the hell happened that was so fucking incredible?_

_I think you just…knocked the other guy out._ Michael speculated.

_So? I do that all the time. Hell I'm about ten minutes away from knocking his ass out._

"Preston McCarthy. That name ring a bell?" He said, raising an eyebrow.

I drew a blank.

_Who?_

"The head coach at the University of Texas?" He said, his smile getting bigger.

My jaw dropped. Not on purpose of course.

"He was so impressed by last night, he's pulled some strings. I'm happy to say that you've earned yourself a full scholarship to the University of Texas."

_I did always want to go there, but not for boxing._

He stood up and held out his hand. "Congrats Longhorn."

I had no clue how he knew all about my culture and about the real world. Maybe he got it from my head, or maybe he already knew a lot from some other person he carried.

I was about to shake it, just out of habit, then I retracted it.

"Thanks. Sorry, I think I'm sick. Don't want you to get sick."

He looked touched. "Why, that's so nice of you to think that Mr. Bartel. Even with all of what's happened, you're looking out for me."

Then things got freaky.

The room dimmed, like all the colors faded from the room. Even the sunlight. The only things that stayed the same were me and him.

His whole persona change, and his face turned into a harsh grin. "Which is more than can be said for you, _Michael_."

_FUCK!_

He knew alright.

"You think I was born yesterday? I've been at this game a lot longer than he has." Mr. Gal…no…Suimasu said. "I know minds better than not being able to detect a powerful presence such as him."

_I didn't think you were that smart, Suimasu._ Michael said, as if he could hear Michael.

Apparently he could. "Yes yes. You were always the _smart_ one. Except not smart enough to see how those old fools controlled you. I broke out shortly after Gabriel did, and found him in the process. He gave me new life, new purpose."

He looked at this office. "It's nice isn't it? I had plenty to work with, with your mind, Mr. Bartel."

I didn't know what he meant.

"This world can only be what you know. I can add certain things to fill in the blanks, but everything else is from you. Every movie you've seen, comic you've read, game you've played, and person you've met fills this world and gives it substance."

Then he looked at me with evil eyes. I was getting unnerved, because the way he stared at me was like he was trying to stared through me and right at Michael. "Even the restricted ones."

_Restricted ones?_

Michael was silent.

_Michael? What's he mean by…wait…does this have to do with…_

"Of course he wouldn't tell you. You see, we have special privileges once we host a mind. Surely you know this. He's healed you more times than you can count correct?"

I nodded, balling my fists ready to attack at any time.

"Well, we also have influence in your memories. I did it to you. I locked away your memories, and added false ones. The mind is a large computer, with files and data. However, we can only _sort_ the files. Only physical damage can delete them."

He chuckled at his little _joke._

"And if we move a certain set of files, or memories, to another folder and put a lock on it, well, you can't access them. But a lock…tricky little things. They lose power when the creator is out of the house. And other member's can breach them. That was how I could detect Michael succeeded in reuploading your brain Mr. Bartel."

_You didn't know this Michael?_

_I…never really dabbled in memory control. I knew the basics but…creation was my forte._

"Oh no no, your memory block was good Michael. Really, I had trouble accessing it. But, I got it eventually."

That hit me like a shovel.

_Michael…did you put a memory block on me?_

…

_Michael? Answer the question._

…_Yes._

I felt…betrayed…sad…confused…I didn't know what.

Michael, the one guy I'd been though for so long, did something to me and never told me about it?

I thought we were friends! Hell, best friends!

_You have to understand, it was for…well…at the time it was the best option. _He stated.

"What are you…"

"I think in order to understand, we have to go back." Suimasu said, and lifted two fingers.

They began to glow.

_No. Don't you dare._ Michael threatened him.

"Or you'll do what? You can't reform for another three minutes. By then, Screaver will have remembered all about his crooked love life."

"Whoa…what?"

In a flash, he appeared before me.

"Now…**REMEMBER!**"

-BZZT-

He tapped my forehead.

"**BWOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH **!"

* * *

If I had to describe the feeling of recovering a memory, it'd be this.

Take a brain, mine I'd presume, and stab it with a tazer. Fire-torch it. Then taze it again, all within a second.

Then when it ends, remembering everything about…something as clear as day. As if it all just happened.

I remembered what it was. All of it. What Michael locked away, and why.

And frankly, I couldn't blame him.

It was all…about a girl.

Everything about one specific girl, named Catilin Grey.

It all started in Middle School.

I had reached a state in which kids isolated me, and treated me poorly because I was bigger than the rest of them.

Plus, I had all the scars on my arms and body, and wore big jackets to cover them. Even in the summer time.

I didn't have the outgoing personality you know me to have. I was reserved, shy, and never spoke unless spoken to.

I was a loner, and besides the occasional time I'd spend with Theo (remember him?) I had no friends.

I had acquaintances, don't get me wrong, but no general friends. No people I could talk to on a regular basis about regular shit.

I remember sitting in the cafeteria, a tray of nachos and milk cartons and curly fries.

And, out of nowhere, a backpack slammed onto the table.

It was ratty, black, and covered in stickers of band names. Some I recognized, Guns and Roses, Foo Fighters, some I didn't.

An odd looking kid, dressed in ripped black jeans, a leather duster and a beanie stood there.

"What's with you?" She asked.

I had just realized that the person was a girl.

And she had…green hair.

It hung out of her cap, and was neon green.

"Um…" I said.

"Why do you get a whole table to yourself?" She asked, all rowdy like.

"Well…no one else sits here."

"Well they do know." She said, and sat her but down.

She just unzipped her backpack, pulled out a Invader Zim lunchbox, and put her earphones in.

And...that was it. For the first day I met her.

The next days to follow were similar: she'd sit down, announce herself, I'd nod and she'd eat her sandwich and listen to music.

I looked at her like she fell from outer space.

But, I really wanted to talk to her.

She seemed so…what's the word? So interesting.

After a week, I steeled up my nerves and made a sound.

It sounded like a fish gasping for water.

Her music was too loud to even hear _normal_ language.

I tried again. "_Haaaa…_"

Nope, now I was at _dead relative whisper from beyond the grave_ level.

"Hi."

Nothing, she didn't even look my way.

I looked at my tray, and saw my unopened carton of milk.

It was wet with condensation, and I picked it up.

It slid on the wooden cafeteria table well, and…

-WHOOSH-

It slid across the table into her lunch box. Which cause said lunch box to clatter to the ground.

-BANG-

Her eyes grew wide with shock, and slowly turned her head to the floor; the lunch box and it's contents now on the floor.

Then slowly turned it to me, with my hand still extended.

We looked at each other for what seemed like hours, until she said, "The fuck?"

I was just as shocked.

She sat down her sandwich, took off her earphones, and crossed her arms. "You owe me a new lunch."

So…not the smoothest of starts.

But from then on, she'd wait at least ten minutes before going into shut off mode with her music, looking at me as if I had something to say.

But I usually didn't, so she'd put them back in anyways.

But one day, about two weeks after I'd first met her, as soon as she sat down, I stood up.

She looked at me like she was expecting me to dance or something.

"I'm…I'm Screaver. Screaver Bartel."

Then I waved.

A real ladies man, am I right?

She wrinkled her nose. "Screaver?"

I expected her to make a snide comment on how my name sounded funny.

But, surprisingly, she didn't.

"Kinda cool. My name's Catilin."

"Caitlin?"

"NO!" She snapped. "Catilin. **Cat**-_ilin._ Grey. You're not the only one with weird names _Screaver Bartel_."

I sat back down, hanging my head in shame.

Keep in mind, as all of this went on the past few weeks; other kids would stare at our table like it was the fucking Discovery Channel.

She rolled her eyes, and slid her stuff so she was opposite to me. "Well, you finally talked to me. Now we're making progress."

We'd started talking after that day. About school, people we hated, teacher we hated, bands _she_ hated, she was a very musical girl.

She was in the choir, claimed she could already play the guitar, and her IPod had almost 1000 songs on it.

Of course, I never even saw her IPod. It stayed in her jacket pocked as her headphones stayed wrapped around her neck when we were talking.

Weeks turned into months. We even began hanging out outside the cafeteria.

We didn't have recess, but I began to notice that she had classes near my classes, and we'd walk together to each other's classes.

We looked weird together, I'm not gonna lie now I look back on it.

She stopped wearing her beanie, showing her natural hair color that grew back as the green faded.

She was a strawberry blond.

Pretty soon, we were friends.

It was all a flash of conversations, meetings, and get-togethers. It was like watching my on fast forward.

Then the year went by, and 7th grade started.

The whole summer, we hung out every week. She didn't live near by, but we were able to convince our parents to drive us out to places to hang out.

Her parents were…weird.

"They say they want my talent to grow and for me to realize my potential." She said one time. "But really they just want bragging rights to all their rich friends."

They pushed her to excel at music. So she retaliated by wearing grungy clothing and dying her hair and all that.

Typical rebellious teenager right?

I joined the choir in the 7th grade. Though the choirs were separated by sex, I still saw her at all the performances.

We were getting to be real good friends. Better than that really.

I shared with her personal info, even showed her all my scars I had.

Come to think of it, she was a very pretty girl. I mean she always struck me as attractive but…she was a pretty girl in middle school.

I felt uncomfortable when I looked straight at her face, because she was so pretty.

It was winter break, 8th grade, when she invited me caroling with her family.

My mom had become good friends with her mom, and agreed.

But, after all the merriment and joy, I had a talk with her.

"Catilin, we're good friends right?"

She looked down at her snow boots. "Yeah, of course we are."

"But…what if I don't…I think of you more than a friend."

She seemed really interested in those boots.

"Look…this is really hard…for me to say but…"

That was an understatement. I was sweating so much I could barely realize it was snowing.

"Screaver, I know how you feel."

"You do?" I said, slightly excited.

"But…it's not going to work."

I didn't understand. "But…why?"

She put a hand on my chest. "Screaver, I do like you a lot. But…I'm moving."

That hit me like a snow shovel. "What? When? Where?"

"After winter break." She said, starting to tear up. "I know, I don't want to either. My mom and dad are…they're transferring me to an all girls school. They said it'll _straighten_ me out. Make me a lady or something."

"But you are a girl!" I yelled.

She shook her head, and let me go. "I wanted to tell you earlier but, I just found out a week ago. They're…cruel like that."

I never wanted to punch an adult so hard in my life.

"We can talk on the phone! I'll come visit you! I'll…"

She stopped me. "Screaver, don't worry. It's not good bye forever. We can still talk but…we won't be able to see each other in person that much. I don't think a long distance relationship would work anyways."

She turned around and hid her face, but I could tell she was crying. "Just, don't forget me ok?"

"I won't. And when we see each other again, in school or on the street or…somethin, I'll buy you lunch!"

She turned around and whacked me.

"You DID never pay me back!"

I frowned, but she smiled.

And…after that…she was gone.

And the shy, nervous me returned.

We called a few times but either it was me who forgot her number or her who forgot to call me.

After middle school came high school, and I became a…well…scary looking kid.

Long hair, crooked teeth, pale, who wore long sleeve shirts instead of jackets to hide my scars.

I got a few more friends than before, Kory and a few others, but no one was at that same level of friendship I had with Catilin.

But on the first day of 10th grade, the choir had settled in for practice, and just as the director was about to start, the door whirled open.

"Sorry! Got lost. I'm present!"

In walked…a beautiful, graceful, majestic, sexy, bangin', and every other compliment I can think of to describe a one of a kind beauty of a woman.

She had long curly blond hair, a white top and flowery skirt on with high heel boots.

"Yes, well then." The director muttered. "You're name?"

"Catilin Grey." She said, setting her stuff down on the table where we put our book bags.

My mouth dropped, my eyes were wide.

_CATILIN!_

I hardly recognized her. It had been two years since I last saw her. And she looked completely different.

But her face, her cute face and hair color, were the same as I knew her.

She scanned the collection of kids in the stands, saw me, but just sat down in the first row and started making nice with the other girls.

I had no idea how to react.

Shocked? Angry? Mystified? Overjoyed? Heartbroken?

I didn't even sing with everyone else during class: I just stared in disbelief at the back of her head.

"Mr. Bartel, you'd sing better if you moved your mouth once in a while." The director called me out.

Everyone started looking at me, who had recovered finally and nodded my head. "Sorry."

Catilin looked at me too, this time with a strange look in her eye. Maybe she remembered we used to be best friends, maybe she just thought I was just another ugly guy she knew back then.

But I soon found out, after class ended and we were in the hallway, it was the first choice.

"SCREAVER!"

She tackle hugged me, leaving me light headed. "I can't believe it's you!"

I nodded. "I never thought I'd see you again. What are you doing back?"

She put her arms on her hips. "Oh my folks couldn't keep me there forever. They couldn't afford it. So we moved back!"

She had such an incredible smile.

"Well, it's great to see you. You're looking great!"

"You too! You're all grown up!" She said, not faltering for a moment.

I knew she had to be lying. Looking at her, then looking at me.

I thought for a second it was a dream come true. The girl I liked, back from a girlification school, who maybe still had feelings for me, had a class with me. I thought if I could show her how good of a singer I had become, how much bigger and stronger I'd become, maybe she wouldn't mind dating a guy like me.

But…then…_he_ came.

"Hey Cat! Been waiting for ya!"

In strolled in…Bruce Bryson.

The captain of the wrestling team at the time. Always wore his stupid letterman.

And the biggest asshole I ever met.

I'm sure a lot of people hated him, but no one did more than I did.

Why may you ask?

"Morning Skeeter." He said, calling me by his nickname for me.

He had tried to recruit me for his team, but I told him to go suck it. That hadn't net me many _friend points_ with him.

His eyes however, were on Catilin.

She looked at him, and gave him a humorous smile. "Brucee! You know Screaver?"

The nickname, the way he looked at her, the way she smiled at him…

_Oh my God in heaven._

She walked over to him, and he put his arm around her waist.

"Yeah, we know each other. Right man?" He said, like no one in the world hated him.

_He...and her...and..._

I hadn't gotten over the fact that my middle school crush was dating my most hated jock.

"We were _friends_ in middle school." She said, though the way she said friends wasn't very pleasant sounding.

I recovered, and faked a normal appearance. "Yeah, haven't seen her in years."

He nodded, sizing me up but not leading on. He looked at her and spoke softly at her. His eyebrows moved a lot when he spoke to her.

It was really fucking stupid looking.

"Well, we got to go. Ready babe?" He said to her.

He called her_ babe_. Only assholes call their loved one a…my God I'm an asshole!

Wait, only the me that Suimasu created was an asshole.

Well, he was kinda nice but…just not me.

Back on topic.

I got the message: she was taken.

I never got around to asking her how they met. I didn't want to. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to her while he was around.

But…I still had to treat her like a friend.

Which killed me.

I guess I had a lot of built up feelings for her that I never told her, and seeing her with that jerk…it was enough to drive me mad.

But a tiny voice in the back of my mind told me _be her friend. A relationship with someone like that won't last. Then once they break up, go in for the rebound._

And no, that wasn't Michael talking. That was my inner selfish high schooler talking.

But I did. I began talking with her again. And since I was older, had my own cell phone and a car, I could see her more often than we were middle schoolers.

But the more I hung out with her, the more it seemed like she was trying to…push me away.

I guess when you're in middle school, friendships will just die out. But she was my only friend.

My best friend.

And I loved her.

But weeks turned into months, and nothing changed.

I had to resist my primal urge to strangle Bruce every time he'd be with her.

One day, I finally had some alone time with her.

I know some guys would be like _respect a relationship _and _bros before…girls,_ but two things.

One: Bruce was no bro of mine.

Second: I was…well…very immature.

Now that I look back on it, I treated the situation poorly. I was selfish, and thought that she didn't deserve to be with a guy like that.

But of course, I thought she deserved a guy like me.

Which now I know is bullshit!

But, how I acted back then was less than admirable.

I had played the friend up to that point, and I was sick of it.

So I asked her if she remembered the last thing we said to each other before she moved.

"About what?" She asked.

"How I felt about you." I said.

She was quiet.

It was a hot Friday afternoon in March. School had ended, but we waited afterwards for rehearsal.

"Screaver, that was a long time ago." She said.

"So? Nothing's changed about how I feel about you."

"Screaver please!" She implored. "You can't just say that! I love…"

"Who? Bruce?" I scoffed. "He's a…you know that nickname he gave me isn't a nice one right?"

"Despite what you may think of him, we're together. We've been together for a long time! And do you just expect for things to go back to the way things were? Two years ago?" She asked.

I was silent for a moment. "Well…no. We've changed, I get that."

"Well, I have at least. But Screaver…your still the same kid I knew two years ago." She said.

"What…what do you mean?" I hesitated to ask.

"Screaver, you're a nice guy but…it wouldn't have worked out even if I had stayed in town."

"What?"

"I'm sorry I did tell you but…it took a while for me to figure out what I really wanted. I grew up."

"And decided to date a total asshole. Yeah, that's grown up for ya." I grumbled.

She was starting to get upset. "Well you're not exactly Mr. Perfect yourself!"

"What? I've been a good friend! I am still a good friend!"

"A good friend wouldn't say bad things about her boyfriend like that. A good friend wouldn't just be her friend to try and get between her love life."

"Hey! I would never…"

"I'm not an idiot." She snapped at me. "And…please just leave things in the past. For my sake Screaver, let me make my own choices. Please, leave it alone."

She squeezed my hand as she told me this.

I didn't want to admit it.

But, I could hear my conscious speak to me. _She has a point you know. Let her find her own path. If it was meant to be, it will happen in due time._

_Whatever._ I told it.

I didn't know that it was Michael at the time.

Well, I couldn't handle it. I grew…what's a good way of putting it?

Fed up?

Sick of it?

No…impatient.

If it was meant to happen, I wanted it to happen the next day of school.

And the next.

And still…no change.

Then…it all came to a head.

There was an end of the year choir banquet. All members of the choir showed up, but the rule was that each person could bring a date.

A date that didn't have to be part of the choir.

So, of course, Bruce was there.

Oh he was the life of the party. If you call _light_ making crude insults to people and everyone else just laughed out of sheer peer pressure.

Catilin would whisper something to him, something probably like _be on your best behavior_, walk off and he'd make more trouble.

I was managing fairly well.

I sat to the side, didn't dance much and just survey the ball room.

I wore a black pinstriped suit, custom fit for my extra long arms, with a red swirly tie over a white dress shirt.

I could remember the ballroom clearly.

"Screaver."

I turned to see…Catilin.

She had this beautiful yellow dress on. With ruffles and her hair all done up with curls.

She looked like Bell from Beauty and the Beast, except she was blonde and way more beautiful.

"You look good, princess." I joked.

She sighed. "I was supposed to be with three other Disney princesses, but they all chickened out at the last moment."

"Well, you still look good." I said. "No joke there."

She smiled weakly. "Are you ok? You know…with Bruce?"

I sighed, and made a less than obvious glance at Bruce, getting drinks at the punch bowl.

"Honestly, no." I said. "But as long as you're here, I don't think he's that bad a guy."

She sighed, looking at him. "He's been acting really rude lately. I think it's just a phase. Probably because his dad's getting him a scholarship at Texas University."

I scoffed. I wanted to go to the University of Texas, but I did my best to hide the jealously.

"Good for him. Good for both of you." I said.

She smiled back. "Thank you. Thank you for understanding. I better go stop him from spitting in the punch."

She picked up her dress to go join him.

Now, that was about as much as I could take.

I was sure that, if nothing else would go wrong, everything would be fine. I wouldn't make a scene, they'd get in an argument over how he acted tonight, and would have broken up naturally.

At least, that was what my young mind believed anyways.

But alas, it got worse.

After awards were given out, we went to the dance floor, and began to have those school sponsored _dance parties_.

There was your _Cupid Shuffle, _your techno, all the generic dance music you've come to know and hate but love to dance too.

Then, Bruce strolled up to me.

_Oh here we go._

He was wearing typical white trash lothes mixed with snobby rich boy clothes: a purple leisure suit with sunglasses and a fitted hat turned _ever so slightly_ to the side.

I didn't know how bad this would get.

"Haven a nice time Skeeter?" He said, a sideways smile on his face.

I didn't smile. "Sure I guess. These parties are lame."

"Oh totally, totally." He agreed, tossing his red cup into a faraway trash can and missing, spilling tiny drips on the ground. "Cat dragged me here, saying it was important or something. Whatever right?"

I bit my lower lip, not like he could see in the dance lights. "She did get the most outstanding member of the…"

"Oh nono, trust me,_ I've_ got the most outstanding member! Am I right?!" He said, raising an eyebrow and laughing.

I bit my lip harder. "Haha, dick jokes."

He leaned in closer. "Honestly, this singing stuff is just a bunch of crap."

I gave him a strange look. I knew she planned on maybe attend college and music _was_ gonna play a part in her career but…what was he talking about?

"What do you mean?"

"She should've join the drill team, like I told her. But she said she _had _to be in the choir and I just let it slide, you know?"

This man…this man was…trying to _relate_ to me?

"She can do what she damn well pleases. Who are you? Her mom?"

He chuckled. "Pipe down Skeeter, I'm just…"

"No." I said, facing him. "You're not _just saying._ And my name ain't Skeeter."

He faced me. "Oh I see what this is."

"You can't see shit behind those sunglasses."

He removed his sunglasses and glared at me. "You trying to make a move on my girl."

"What?" I gasped. "You're crazy."

"I know Skeet." He said. "You two were buddy buddy way back when and you've been trying to make a move on her all year in that fucking pansy ass choir."

I hesitated, though I know I shouldn't have. "I'm her friend. And still am her friend. You can't even be a good boyfriend!"

"She's mine." He said. "You got that you fucking freak? You fucked up and she's mine now."

I was at my end. "She's too good for a stupid ass jerk like you! She deserves…"

"Someone like you?" He scoffed. "Pfft. That's about as rich as my dying grandpa. Even if she gets the balls to break up with me, I'll be sure to…"

I held up my hand.

I was shaking violently.

"You…"

I balled my fist.

_Don't be stupid Screaver!_ My conscious spoke to me.

"You son…"

I shook violently.

He smirked. "What are you going to do? Hit me? Give it your best shot **Skeeter**."

And then…he slapped me.

-SLAP-

It was the most embarrassing, cowardly and downright uncalled for thing I ever saw someone do.

I looked over his shoulder and saw Catilin looking right at us, her eyes wide with fear.

Out of what he did, or what I was going to do, I will never know.

"**YOU SON OF A BITCH!**"

-BAM-

I planted a fist right into hit gut. He doubled over.

Then I used my foot to push him backwards.

He got up, taking of his sideways hat (man his dress attire alone pissed me off.)

"I'm gonna kick your ass, Skeeter!"

He charged me, trying to flip me in some sort of wrestling move.

But I weighed two of him, so that was not gonna happen.

I uppercut him.

"AND MY NAME IS SCREAVER, MOTHERFUCKING BARTEL!"

He crashed into the drink table.

I looked at my hand, covered in a few dabs of red.

He didn't get back up. He wasn't dead, but he was unconscious.

Everyone looked at the scene horrified. I'm pretty sure one of the chaperones called 9-11.

I looked at Catilin.

She held her hands to her mouth. I could see tears going down her face.

"I'm…"

She bolted out of the dining hall.

Well, the police did come, and the paramedics, you guess which one came for the two of us.

That was the first time I ever got jailed. Six weeks.

It would have been longer, but witnesses stated that it was Bruce who laid the first punch.

He was taken out of school, I never had to see him again once I got out.

But I never heard from Catilin. My parents wouldn't tell me anything about that night, only they were severely disappointed in me.

It wasn't till I was able to get a hold of a newspaper when I got the news.

The night of the banquet, a car was found flipped and destroyed off the side of the highway.

It had belonged to a 16 year old girl by the name of…Catilin Grey.

She died…driving away from me.

* * *

Suimasu stood there, in his office staring intently at me.

"Well, how's your memory fair?"

I couldn't move. Grief overcame my senses.

"Michael…all that…it really happened…didn't it?"

…_Yes._ He said, sounding just as full of grief.

"I…I did all those things." I said.

"It's not your fault." Suimasu said. "The issue could have been solved _so _much better if I was your guardian. No heartbreak or pain. Only happiness."

I wasn't listening to him.

_I…I blocked the memory of Catilin. You were close to committing suicide. I had to do something to keep you alive. So…you never remembered her, or the incident._ He said.

I tried to shake off the grief.

"Screaver, in this world, you can have the life you _should_ have had. No pain or suffering or sadness. Let me guide you." He said, opening his arms.

I glared at him.

_Honestly, I think that was the right call. If I hadn't…if you hadn't…but that's the past._

"Actually, let Michael guide you. STRAIGHT TO HELL! SICK'EM BOY!"

Michael appeared before me, and grabbed a surprised Suimasu's arm.

"I'm not a dog jackass."

-POOF-

They both disappeared in a swirl of smoke.

"Michael?"

The room rumbled a bit, and the color's began to fade.

"Michael!"

_Screaver…_He managed to say.

_What's wrong?_

_He's got…he's got a strong foothold. I can't push him out. I thought I could just knock him out and take back control but…I have to fight him head on. You need to take this chance to escape._ He grunted, taking breaths like he was fighting someone at that very moment.

_How?_

_Wait…I know…the mirror!_ He said. _It's the only physical manifestation of the gateway between these two worlds._

_But it's at my house!_

_And worse than that, he's altering this world to cover the only exit._ Michael strained. _He's changing…I can't speak for much longer. He's using your memories, your more dangerous ones, to create…obstacles._

_Enemies. From my worst nightmares and video games._

_Pretty much but…GAH…wait…I can't hold on. You're on your own man. _He shouted.

And then…-CLICK-

As if he was cut off from my mind.

_Well, no time like the present._

I loosened my tie and charged out the door.


	104. Chapter 104

Race To The Dimension Line

A Heartfelt Good Bye

The school had already begun to fall apart: carpet stained and torn up, pictures now knocked over and spray painted with graffiti, trophy cases broken into or demolished.

It looked worse than it had been before, and I didn't even believe that was possible!

I turned the corner and encountered my first enemy.

Zombies.

At least, it had to be a zombie. It was one of the students who went here, but his uniform had been torn up and stained in blood. His face was sunken in and covered in cuts and blood. His eyes were white and stared into two different directions. It was a pretty gruesome sight to behold, but I couldn't let myself get distracted.

He seemed to hear my presence, and held out his arms towards me as he limped towards me.

He moved pretty fast for having a set of broken legs.

He snapped at me, but I was way quicker than he was.

I moved around him and gave a good one-two punch to the back of the head.

He fell straight onto the ground. But after a few seconds he began pushing himself back up, groaning in the process.

_Right. Zombie. Gotta hurry to the parking lot to find a car._

As soon as I turned around, three more zombies shuffled around the corner and headed towards me.

The first one was about to get back up, but I pressed him down with my foot.

_If only I had a…_

I looked down at my arm.

_Come on, come on…_

It began to glow that familiar golden light.

"YES!"

-SHING-

My beautiful golden bazooka formed.

I aimed it at the first dead zombie on the ground.

"Screaver's back in business!"

-KABOOM-

His head was blown clean off into the hole I made in the floor board.

The hole was pitch black, like the entire school was build above a dark pit or something.

I turned to the other three, they were shambling with surprising speed.

I aimed at them. "BAZOOKA GATLING!"

-KABOOM-KABOOM-KABOOM-KABOOM-

The shots only took out one zombie.

I guess they'd only go down if they don't have a head.

I knocked off the arms of one of them, and the leg of another, plus they were now full of holes like swiss cheese.

I ran past them at top speed, trying to remember the way back to the parking lot.

_Ok, down this hall…no that's English class. Near the gym? Yeah I think that's on the other side of the school._

-WHOOSH-

Something whizzed past my head, flooding my nostrils with the smell of dirty wet animal.

I didn't have time to look around, but whatever it was, dove right under my legs knocking me to my feet.

-GROWL-

I turned to see a strange animal wearing what looked like the remains of a Julian High uniform.

It was about the size of a Doberman, but had a hump and pink wrinkly skin. It's eyes were shut, and had a huge pair of buck teeth the size of kitchen knives.

A mole rat. An honest to God, mutated mole rat.

"Could be worse. You could have been a Deathclaw."

It barred its teeth and lunged.

-BAM-

I gave it a hard kick in the face, smashing it against the wall. It slid to a halt.

_They're all wearing uniforms…it's like Suimasu's turning all the students into creatures. What if…oh I don't even want to think about the possibility._

I could hear more chattering and grunting coming from where I came, and pressed on ahead.

I decided against engaging any zombie I came across: they would just slow me down and they really couldn't catch me going at this speed.

The mole rats would try, but I was faster. I could easily just smack into one trying to tackle me and crush it into the wall. And unlike the zombies, they seemed to _feel_ damage.

It was all going fine until…

-WHOOSH-

Something crashed into me and pushed me to the ground.

I could feel sharp claws starting to rake my back, so I twisted quickly and raised my fists.

The creature pounced off of me, pushed off a wall, and spun around to glare at me.

It had a uniform on, but his was more intact, and it looked like he was trying to wear a gray hoodie underneath his shirt.

He was perched on all fours, had long sharp nails like claws digging into the carpet, sharp fangs and red eyes.

But what was worse (or better depending on getting my memory back) I could recognize him by his now falling out red hair and flat nose.

"_**Sk…SKEETTAAR!**_" It snarled.

Bruce.

And he was a hunter, from Left 4 Dead.

I cracked my knuckles in satisfaction. "I got an ass whooping with your name on it!"

_That sounded better in my head._

"Whatever. YOU GOING DOWN DICK SHIT!"

He pounced.

I hadn't touched a xbox controller in months, but I could remember how hunters work.

I dashed to the side, seeing as how he was committed to his pounce.

He turned just in time to look down my bazooka.

-KABOOM-

He disintegrated like he was made of ash.

"That was for being a terrible boyfriend."

I paused at what I said.

"To Catilin." I quickly added.

* * *

I darted down the hall and made my way to the cafeteria.

I froze.

In the middle of the cafeteria, trampling tables and knocking over columns, was the largest snake I ever saw.

Its scales glinted green, Its head was turned, and that's how I wanted it to stay.

It had to be…a basilisk.

One look from its yellow eyes, and I might die.

I didn't know if a creature's powers also come into effect in this world, but I wasn't going to test it.

_Michael, a little help here…_

No answer.

_Well, there was hope in trying…_

_Screaver!_ He gasped.

_Ok. So…there's this basilisk…_

_From…Harry Potter?_ He asked.

_Yeah. Turns out having my sister force me to watch those fucking movies really didn't benefit my life…AT ALL!_

_Can't…talk long._ He struggled, and what sounded like machine gunfire rang throughout my head.

I remembered the basilisk could hear really well, so I ducked behind a column when I heard gunfire.

_You think I can speak parseltongue?_

_Not…likely._ He said.

_I can't fight that think, I'll get killed! One look and I'm dead._

_I don't know what…to say._ A loud crackle erupted. At first I thought it was static, but on further listening I could have sworn it was fireworks.

_Look, all I can say is…he may have access to your memories, but don't forget. They're __**your**__ memories. You're basically trapped in a dream. And in a dream, you could theoretically alter the world just like he can._

_So, can I transport myself to the mirror?_

_Not that simple._ He groaned. Buzzing filled my ears as if Michael was wielding a chainsaw. _He's still got the main control on the world. Anything you try and do he'll negate. The bigger the change the faster he can reverse it._

_What ARE you guys doing in there?_

_Our fights get…really creative._ He said, taking a deep breath.

_So, I have power over my memories? Can I like…summon allies?_

_Use your…imagination…_

-BOOM-

The blast ran in my ears until it was silent.

I couldn't rely on Michael for help anymore after that.

The basilisk was right in front of the exit across the cafeteria. Its head was smashed through the wall where kids lined up for food, probably chowing down on that 5 star food.

_Maybe I could…change him into something smaller?_

I imagined the giant snake shrinking down, turning into a tiny stuffed animal snake, something innocent and stupid.

But alas, no good. The snake was still there, still oblivious to my location.

But as soon as I thought that, the snake tensed.

_FUCK. Don't panic, don't move._

The snake started to coil, retrieving its head from the wall.

I turned back, facing the opposite direction, and stifled my breathing.

_I've got about ten seconds before I'm either dead-by-glaring or dead-by-dinnertime. I need help. Why the hell isn't Luffy here? All he's good at nowadays is getting caught in stupid snakes._

I remembered the anger I felt about him leaving us to Eneru's devices. How mad I was, how disappointed and in pain I was.

And then…POOF.

Luffy appeared by my side, hunched over, next to me.

I almost leaped out in surprise.

He was wearing the same tattered clothes I saw him in before he went to fight Eneru, and he had a wide grin on his face.

"How…wha…"

He gave me a thumbs up and chuckled.

Then he stood up and charged past me.

I didn't dare look out, even being worried about Luffy.

The monster let out a huge roar in anger.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I started at the bottom of its body, then slowly upward. Hopefully only seeing the bottom half of its eyes wouldn't kill me.

But that was the best part.

Luffy had somehow gotten atop that beast, grabbed its head and blocked out its eyes with his hands, as it roared in anger for losing its sight.

He yanked its head, which caused the monster to roar widely.

A perfect shot. That's what Luffy was getting me.

I aimed at its fangs.

"MEGA BUSTER!"

-**KABOOM**-

The basilisk swallowed the blast whole.

Luffy leaped off the monster's head, its mouth was steaming and it's eyes were shut in a daze.

He joined up with me, and gave me a look that said _let's do it._

I nodded in agreement.

We bared out fists and charged.

"GUM GUUUUM…"

"MEGAAAAAAA…"

"**BAZOOOOOKAAAAA!**"

-**BAM- -KABOOM-**

The monster was slammed into the wall that shook the entire cafeteria and slid to the ground lifelessly.

I deactivated my bazooka and looked at Luffy with wide eyes.

He stood there proudly; his hands on his sides and gave me a confident and approving smile.

I remembered what Suimasu had showed me: how Luffy…no…_not_ Luffy told me such terrible things and said he never wanted to see me again.

My jaw started trembling remembering those hurtful words.

But Luffy held out his arm, waiting for me to grab it.

I steeled my nerves and silenced my sadness.

-CLAP-

I gave him a confident and grateful look.

This was my memory of Luffy. He may have been goofy and sometimes borderline retarded, but he was my captain.

He smirked. His formed rippled like water. "_Meet you back Screaver_."

-POOF-

And just like that, he vanished.

I was surprised just as much as before.

_Michael did say Suimasu can reverse any change I make to the world._

I tried to think of Luffy again, tried to summon him again.

But it felt like there was a block on those feelings. My memories of him weren't as clear.

_So…it's a onetime thing. Don't matter…I got an entire crew of friends to help me._

I ran past the basilisk and charged through the doors.

* * *

I had faced zombies, mole rats, and a freaking basilisk, so I wondered what else could Suimasu pull out of my memories.

Orcs.

At least twenty of them, ransacking the school in the next hall over.

They knocked over trophy cases, smashed out windows, snorting and munching on…something.

They looked pretty ridiculous with their armor and Julian uniforms on. They had black crude armor on, with simple yet dark looking swords and clubs. Their skin was dark gray and had pig faces with huge teeth.

_Damn you Peter Jackson…_

Hell, some of them must have once been girls, cause some of them had the blue skirts.

I would have laughed, if one of them didn't catch my sent and looked my way.

He made some sort of call, sounding like a snort and a belch, and four of them started heading towards me.

_Ok, just take it easy. They go down way easy one at a time._

The instant one turned the corner, I fired a blast into his face.

-KABOOM-

He disintegrated, leaving his brothers calling out like a loud stomach sound.

They drew their weapons and ran at me.

I deflected the first one with my bazooka and slapped his head into my knee, pushing him aside.

The second and third one double teamed me, but I grabbed the third guy's club as I fired my bazooka into #2's face.

The impact of the club didn't harm my hand one bit. I was glad to have that indestructible left arm.

After the third guy was beaten, the fourth slashed at me.

I ducked, but he tackled me to the ground and tried to bite my neck.

I opened my mouth and summoned energy to my throat.

"Sound Bazooka!"

-KABOOM-

I fired my shot into his face, disintegrating him as well.

But more we're on the way: there was way more than twenty.

I needed help.

_ZORO!_

I had to focus: the last time Luffy only appeared when I summoned strong emotion from his memory.

I thought of all the times Zoro and I fought: every time he called me boy, every fight we got into.

And…POOF.

Zoro appeared above me, a slight smirk on his face.

He held out his hand to help me up.

After I got to my feet, He drew his swords.

I nodded.

We turned the corner and charged the orcs.

I was a bit overwhelmed as to how many there was: about fifty in all.

But they were no match for Zoro's swordsmanship and my bazooka blasts.

It was a tough fight, until Zoro unleashed his big whirlwind slicing move.

Then I finished it with a huge bazooka blast.

And the orcs were no more.

Nothing left but ash and tattered uniforms.

"Yeah! Take that assholes! YEA!"

I turned to Zoro, who crossed his arms and frowned at me.

I stuttered and looked down.

I looked at him again, and his expression softened.

His formed rippled, just as Luffy's did. "_You better come back Screaver. We'll be waiting._"

-POOF-

He was gone.

_Five minutes. That was five minutes._

Two down. And I still had a long ways to go.

* * *

I made it to the parking lot.

And I just gave up hope right then and there.

_FUCKING DEATHCLAWS!_

I knew I shouldn't have said anything but NOOOOOOO. Suimasu had to go all ironic on me.

Three giant monsters were prowling the parking lot.

Each one about ten feet tall, long tails, black scaled skin, rippling muscles, four horns on their heads and spines down their backs poking though shreds of uniform jackets.

Their eyes were pure white, but that didn't mean they couldn't see. Their claws were long enough to slice through my head and probably my upper torso. And those jaws with large teeth didn't look too good either.

And, unlike the basilisk, they had no problem spotting me.

I might not have died at the sight of them, but I did freeze in a terrified state.

Deathclaws are like the #1 fear for any Fallout player: you loathed the very sight of one and if you weren't prepared you'd probably die.

And I had no plan, no back up route and only one gun. And there were three of them!

I didn't even have any stimpaks!

_I really need some help right now._

They were all the way across the lot, but they were pretty freaking fast.

They ran awkwardly, lifting their reptile legs pretty high as their toes pushed them forward, but they…FUCKING DEATHCLAWS MOVE FAST!

_Don't panic._ I tried to tell myself. _You know how to deal with them. You've killed hundreds of them before._

Yeah, as the Lone Wanderer. And that was with a Fat Man or shotgun with the VATS system.

But I did have some tricks up my sleeve.

I knew how they attacked: from far away they would get in proximity and leap at you, a pretty far leap at that.

If you were fast enough, you could dart backwards or sideways just enough so they wouldn't hit you. But it was tricky unless you had 10 agility.

The first one bent over, ready to pounce.

I got ready and formed my bazooka legs.

It pounced.

400 pounds of death glared me in the face as it flew towards me.

-KABOOM-

I launched myself to the right as it landed with a –BOOM- on where I was standing originally.

I fired at its head.

-KABOOM-

The blast caused it to freeze as it was covered in smoke.

The second one was already at me and swung it's giant arm.

-BAM-

While it didn't cut me, getting hit by that guy was about the same force as getting hit by a battering ram.

If I hadn't blocked with my left arm, I would have been mince meat.

It flung me into a car and pressed the attack.

That was another thing about Deathclaws: they don't stop until your DEAD.

The first guy had recovered, had a new blast mark on its face but looked relatively unharmed.

Meanwhile, the third guy was closing in.

Looking at its legs reminded me of the most crucial detail about Deathclaws: their legs.

If you could cripple one or even both a Deathclaw's legs, they can't run. They walk very slowly and can be killed easily once they're crippled.

What's makes them so strong is their combined speed, strength and jumping power.

I aimed at the second guy's left leg.

-KABOOM-

The monster got on all fours once I hit its knee.

The other two were in hot pursuit of me, I had seconds to decide.

I quickly fired three shots in the air and leaped over the car.

The two Deathclaws combined smashed into that car and were able to crush it against another, almost flattening me completely.

I looked at the three shots in the sky, getting higher and higher.

_STOP!_

The orbs halted, looking like the sky had just developed three suns.

I looked at the Deathclaws, targets appearing over their knees.

_TARGET! ANF FIRE FIRE FIRE!_

The blasts descended with sonic speed, the Deathclaws staring up at them in confusion.

-KABOOM- -KABOOM- -KABOOM-

The blasts connected, and the monsters roared in anger.

The second one was limping towards me, which was a very good thing.

But the third and first were just confused, and would be ready to attack quickly.

_Where's my car? I can't fight them all myself. I need…help._

Sanji was the only one who came to mind.

Thinking of times I got angry at him was easy. Every lame, horny and stupid lover boy thing he did to Nami always pissed me off.

POOF.

There he was…Sanji.

In his black pinstriped suit, a cigarette in his mouth.

He didn't look any more anxious about him being here than I did.

But once he looked at the enemies I was fighting, he seemed to get serious.

He threw one kick to the fist guy's knee, and it bent the other way.

I fired my bazooka at the third, which cause him to dart to the left in confusion.

Maybe I crippled its head or something.

We both backed up from the three.

The first one's leg wasn't looking too good, but he limped towards us. The second did the same.

But the third was shaking off its confusion and began charging.

Sanji motioned with his head, and I nodded.

We charged right back at the Deathclaw.

The Deathclaw leaped as Sanji jumped with his leg extended. I jumped a little lower, raising my fist.

-**BAM- -BAM-**

Sanji kicked that Deathclaw in the snout while I gave it a huge uppercut to the jaw.

It was flung backwards into another car, lifelessly.

The other two weren't backing down, but they looked to be in pretty bad shape.

Finishing them off was no problem.

-WHABAM!- -WHABAM!-

Three dead Deathclaws.

Sanji looked at me as he scuffed his shoe on the asphalt.

His form began to ripple, so I assumed he had about five seconds before he vanished.

I expected him to say something to wish me back to the real world, like Luffy and Zoro but…

"_Tch. Bastard._"

-POOF-

"Nice to see you too asshole!"

* * *

At least Suimasu had the decent mind to not mess up the car.

I jumped into the Lamborghini, had a silent cry that this would be the **last** time I would ever drive one, and revved the engine.

I pulled out of the parking lot and sped down the street.

_Ok, my house is just…down that way. I kinda remember the way thanks to Michael's GPS navigation. Left up…HERE!_

The street lights were out, and no cars were on the street.

I was flying down the street at 80 mph, when suddenly…

-BEOBEOBEO-

Police sirens…

A sound and sight I never wanted to see again.

Three police cars were on my tail.

_Son of a bitch…_

I hit the gas, but they caught up at alarming speeds.

-BOOM- -BOOM-

They sped up almost instantly, slowed so they were just at my speed, just a few feet from being ahead of me.

They started ramming into my car, shaking the steering wheel pretty good.

_Wait a minute…those movements._

I pushed against one of them, slamming the steering wheel left, and the car did a complete 180.

I didn't get a good look at the name on the back, but I had a good idea of what it said…

_Stilwater Police Department._

_Saints Row Police…just great._

Man these guys are annoying. They somehow defy all laws of physics and in three seconds, speed up to you, try and run you off the road or into something to stop you, they get out of the car to arrest you.

I was pretty sure they weren't gonna let me get away with _normal _prison.

These guys were even fiercer than the game guys.

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

"LAY OFF ME VAJTO!"

They surrounded my car: one on the left, right, and directly behind me.

I was trapped in a box, and they weren't letting me move anywhere but forward.

I had to make the right up ahead.

_I need help…I need…USOPP!_

-POOF-

_Usopp? Oh well, it'll have to do._

He appeared in the passenger's seat, in brown overalls and his goofy goggles on.

"Usopp!"

He saluted confidently, which was way out of character for him.

He pulled out his green slingshot, and aimed out the window.

I scoffed. "What, you gonna shoot out their tires or something?"

-SNAP-

-**POP**-

-**PFFFFFFFFFFFF-**

The car to the right squeeled as the car shook back and forth. Then it tried to turn, flipped on its side and…

-KABOOM-

Exploded.

"WHOA!"

Yeah, all the shit I've gone through, and I get surprised by _one_ car explosion…

I banked right and made a turn so sharp that the car almost flipped on it's side, shoving Usopp towards me with the inertia.

The other two cars were in hot pursuit.

-BANG-

Gun shots fired from behind, each bullet made the car shake and shutter.

Usopp stuck his head out and fire several more shots, but his sling shot wasn't doing much against bullet proof cop cars.

His body began to flicker, and he looked at me with a pain look.

"_I'll do what I can. The rest is up to you Screaver._"

He pulled out another shot, a bright red ball, and fired it.

-SPLAT-

I looked in the rearview mirror that one of the cop cars was covered in dark red paint.

No…Tabasco sauce.

The car started shaking, like the driver got some of it in his face, and it just spun into a tree.

Usopp smiled, gave me a thumbs up, and POOF.

Vanished.

"Thanks man. I knew I could count on you."

There was still one cop car on me.

-BANG-

-**POP**-

One of my tires blew out.

"DAMN IT!"

I furiously gripped the steering wheel to maintain stability as I made another turn.

By my guess, I was still three blocks away from the house. I had to get rid of this guy before my other tires go out.

I had another crazy idea, one that would surely backfire but I was running out of options at this point.

I positioned the Lamborghini so it was right in front of the cop car.

The cop tried to speed up to ram me, but I pulled out in front of him.

Then, I pulled the emergency breaks.

-**BAM- -CRASH- -BOOM**-

The cop car rammed into the Lamborghini, the force of it could have knocked my teeth out.

The airbag opened and smashed into my body.

The cop car, smashed and crumpled, disconnected and slowed as the Lamborghini began to stall.

_No no, come on! Just a few more minutes._

My ribs hurt, I thought for a minute the crash might have damaged me internally.

I was able to pull one last turn before the car stopped.

I kicked the door open, pulled myself out of the wrecked vehicle, and patted it on the roof.

"You…you were a good car. It has been…an honor to drive you."

-CLANK- -CLASH- -BANG-

The car seemed to fall apart completely: nothing but the wrecked chassis and all the disconnected parts scattered around it.

Just like in Blues Brothers…

I gripped my sides and stumbled down the block.

* * *

My house was only a few more houses down.

My speed was slowing; I could feel blood drip down the side of my face.

_This…couldn't have all been from the accident right?_

At last, I made it upon my house.

However, the door was locked.

"FUCK!"

I ripped off my jacket coat, wrapped it around my fist, and punched a hole through the window near the door.

I dropped the jacket and carefully unlocked the door.

_Science…because I can…_

I pushed through the door: No one was home.

I stumbled though the living room to the stairs.

A giant blob of blood came out of my mouth.

_Ok…Suimasu's doing something to me…_

I pulled up the stairs, each step feeling like I was stabbing myself with an ice pick.

_Almost…there…_

I made it to the top of the stairs, staggered towards my bed room, and pushed open the door.

"Oh…fuck me."

In my room, standing between me and the silver mirror, was Catilin.

She was wearing a simple white dress. Her appearance would have left me tongue tied if I wasn't already choking on blood.

She had her arms crossed, and a look of sadness on her face.

"So…here we are." She said.

I swallowed hard, then straightened up. "Guess…so…"

She nodded, then looked at me with a different look.

I almost collapsed on the spot, and she seemingly broke. "Oh baby…"

She rushed at me, catching me and tried to hold me up.

Her face was filled with sorrow and worry.

She helped me over to the bed and sat me down.

"Just…oh God…just breathe ok?" She tried to calm me, but I could hear her choke on a sob.

"Why…why are you treating me like this?" I asked.

If she was another one of Suimasu's creations, I was afraid he would turn her into some other sort of monster to kill me.

She sniffed her nose. "I'm still your girlfriend you idiot!"

I couldn't argue…mostly because the pain was getting to unbearable to talk.

She rubbed my forehead and looked into my eyes, tears starting to fall.

"Catilin…you're not real. The real Catilin died…a long time ago."

She shook her head. "I was created from your memories of her, memories that Michael tried to hide from you."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh great…"

She gripped my hand. "I'm not here to tell you what's right or wrong. I want you to hear me out."

I nodded my head.

"I love you. It might not be real but…we can work something out with Suimasu. He'll forgive you as long as you give yourself up. We can go back to the way things were. We can…go to college, get married, have a perfect life together."

"The life…I always wanted huh?"

She looked down in disappointment. "I know you don't believe me. But Suimasu doesn't have the same influence over strong memories. You saw for yourself that all of those Once Pieces characters…"

"_One Piece._" I groaned as I spat a bloody loogie on the sheet behind me.

"That's disgusting." She said.

"It's my bed."

She sighed, then wiped her nose.

"They helped you, and I'm helping you. I do have some independent thought of my own you know." She said.

"But you're just helping Suimasu." I said.

"Wouldn't you if you were in my position?" She said. "I'm basically asking you for my life."

"You're a memory. You live inside me." I said.

She shook her head. "I fear if Michael takes over again, he'll lock me away again, and I'll never be with you again. Suimasu let me be with you, physically and mentally."

"He did it so I wouldn't kill myself over grief!" I shouted, then gripped my side at the pain of shouting.

"I understand that." She said. "But…it's just not fair!"

She pounded her legs in anger. "Even if…even if just a memory…you don't know what it is like to be a memory. We want to be remembered! At least when a memory is forgotten, it is taken out of existence, and can't feel the pain of being without you. But…to be cut off: to be alive and still cut off from you…it's the worst experience imaginable."

She looked down in absolute fear. "It's like…being cut off from air. Put in a dark black box with nothing but a tiny hole of light. And if you try and look though that hole of light, you can't see…"

I held her as she started to hyperventilate.

I had no clue that memories had this kind of…personification?

I guessed memories have a life of their own.

"My friends need me. Luffy and Nami and…"

She shot me a dirty glare when I said the name Nami. "They AREN'T real! How can you be so cruel! To live in a fantasy…"

She stopped herself, I imagine because she realized the hypocrisy of her statement.

"I can't live in the past Catilin. I have to move on."

"I know…It's just…I don't want to be locked up again…" She said, beginning to go back to that scary place in her…memory.

I grabbed her shoulders and looked at her. "I promise, you won't be locked up again. I'll tell, order, whatever Michael to keep you unlocked."

"Are you sure?" She asked. "You'll have to live with the grief all over again."

I scoffed. "Who do you think I am? Some little pussy baby? I'm Screaver D. Motherfucker Bartel!"

She sighed. "You really did change, didn't you Screaver?"

"In a way, I got you to thank for that."

And I gave her a kiss.

"You know…there's still this bed here…" She said, giving me a sly eye.

I looked down at my broken bleeding body. "Seriously?"

She blinked hard as if she had just come out of a trance. "Sorry. You did fantasize about me often. It kinda changed my character a bit."

I just laughed, and stood up on my own two feet.

I walked towards the mirror. It was glowing with a dim silver light.

I looked at Catilin sitting on the bed.

"I'll see you…in my dreams." I said to her.

"You have dreams?" She asked.

I laughed sarcastically. "I'll work on it."

I tapped the mirror with my finger. The glass rippled like it was made out of jello.

_Good bye Perfect World._

And I pushed into the mirror.


	105. Chapter 105

**Hey guys. This will be the last chapter in the Skypiea arc: at a record breaking 8000+ words no less.**

**I just wanna thank all of you for reading and reviewin' and such. It's really cool and I thank you guys.**

**And...well I might be a tad late on this part, but another guy asked me to say this so...**

**-huff- _The Tale of an OP Delinquent contains foul and offensive language. Any of you who are not over the age of 16 should avoid reading in order to keep your "innocence." Thank you._**

**Now with that out of the way, let's stick a cork in this bottle of kick ass and send it off with a bang!**

* * *

Wrap-Up on Sky Island

New Beginnings, Gold, and the Grand Departure

_There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home…_

…cr…ver…

_Hmph._

I had no idea where I was…but I was tired.

_Screaver…_

"Hmph. No."

"WAKE THE HELL UP!"

I jolted up in surprise.

Sanji and Usopp were staring down at me.

I jumped up and grabbed both of them.

"USOPP! SANJI! BUAAAAHAHAHAAAA!"

I was crying.

"I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU GUYS!"

Sanji pushed off of me. "The hell Screaver?"

Usopp hugged back. "I'M HAPPY TO SEE YOOOOUU TOOOHOHOOOOO!"

I composed myself and took a deep breath.

"How'd you guys find me?"

Sanji and Usopp looked at each other. "Well, this weird little…baby found us and told us you were here."

"Baby?"

"Ahem." A familiar voice scoffed.

I turned to see…the strangest creature I ever saw.

It was about the size of a beanie baby, except it was vaguely human. It had a cartoonish face, slim limbs, and was wearing a gray suit with a black tie.

It even had a little fedora on its head, and a tiny pair of sunglasses.

I gulped. "Michael?"

He sighed. "Well…here I am."

Sanji and Usopp scrunched their faces. "You know this thing?"

I looked down at the ground: the body of Suimasu was sprawled out and lifeless next to me.

"You beat him."

Michael nodded his tiny head. "Yeah, though I did lose a considerable about of power fighting him."

I looked at Sanji and Usopp. "What happened? Where's Luffy? And Eneru?"

Usopp pointed to the sky in fear.

A giant…GIANT ball of clouds and electricity blocked out the sky.

My mouth gapped open in fear.

"_Fafafafafafafa_…" I mouthed.

"We need to hurry." Sanji said. "And hope Luffy knows what he's doing."

"Knows what he's…"

I could see in the distance, that the giant bean stock had been broken in half. A tiny figure was racing up the side of it.

Behind them, what seemed like a giant golden ball was chasing them.

Luffy and Nami I guessed.

To the left of them, the giant arch Maxim was struggling to maintain altitude.

"That thing's gonna obliterate us." I said.

"I assume so." Sanji said casually. "If Luffy doesn't stop him, he'll obliterate this island. And then, Angel Island."

I looked at him with confusion. "Wait…you mean…Angel Island is ok?"

Sanji raised an eyebrow (the only one he had) at me. "Yeah…Eneru targeted this island first. After the ship crashed landed, he had to make repairs."

He showed a look of smugness. "It was because I sabotaged the whole ship when we went aboard."

I widened my gaze.

So…I saved Angel Island?

I SAVE ANGEL ISLAND!

Whoot!

All of a sudden, the giant ball of thunder began to break, and then…dissipated.

The sky faded back to a bright blue color.

And the tiny figure of Luffy, with his giant gold ball, sailed towards Eneru.

Even from here, I could sense the hit that Luffy threw at Eneru.

And then…

-_**BWOOOOOONG**_-

The most tantalizing, beautiful sound I ever heard echoed through the sky.

It was…well…the bell.

It rang again, and it made my body tingle with delight.

"So this…this is the ringing that Nolan heard." Sanji said.

Usopp looked like he was about to cry.

"Luffy! He…HE DID IIIIT!" He shouted.

"You're damn right he did." I said.

-_**BWOOOOOONG**_-

_Man, I've got to get a recording of that sound._

It was just so pleasant in the way you can't describe.

"Luffy…did it."

I'll admit, I wished I could have decked Eneru in the face, one last time.

But…Luffy's the main character.

I'm just a look out.

And that's the way it was.

* * *

Sanji helped me navigate though the forest while Usopp led the party.

We made it to the clearing in the stone city where we fought Eneru the first time.

Zoro was there: laying down back against a stone wall.

Robin was sitting there too, and Chopper was tending to Wiper, who was laid out on the stone floor.

"Table…for three…" I groaned.

"SCREAVER!" Chopper yelled in delight.

I let go of Sanji and stumbled towards them.

"So…Luffy did it."

"Nothing less expected from our captain." Zoro scoffed.

"Damn straight." I said back.

Chopper was inspecting Wiper. "His body is worn out. He's dying!"

"Yeah?" Sanji shrugged. "But he was trying to kill us. We don't owe him anything."

"Yeah, I know." Zoro said. "Doesn't make much sense. But he was going all out, just like the rest of us."

"He's a hero?" Sanji asked. "Seriously?"

"Who knows?" Zoro guessed.

I collapsed next to Zoro.

"So, you got captured by one of those priests?" Zoro asked.

I shrugged. "He had some sort of mental hold on me. He tried to trick me. Hypnotize me. Brainwash me."

"Was it easy?" Sanji asked.

"Eat a dick, asshole." I said harshly.

He let the topic drop. "So…what do you think happened to Eneru, and the bell?"

"Don't know." Usopp said. "I guess they must have crashed."

Sanji smirked. "So we had a city of gold…but in name only."

Zoro gave a weary smile. "Which means our adventure and poverty continues."

"Man. I was looking forward to living like millionaire criminals." I groaned.

"I rather have dials over gold any day." Usopp cheered. "That's just something you can't get in the Blue Sea!"

I shrugged. "I hope Nami's ok."

"Exactly!" Sanji agreed. "And where's Conas? Just not knowing's driving me crazy!"

* * *

Chopper went to work patching us all up.

As Chopper bandaged my body, I gripped the charred gameboy that I still had in my pocket.

"Say, what's that Screaver?" Chopper asked curiously.

I looked at him and smiled humbly. "It's a memento. Of a friend I lost."

He looked down, like he had done something bad.

"No no, it's cool. You're fine."

He finished patching me up, and moved on to the next person.

"HEEEEEEEEEEY!" A familiar voice screamed.

A giant canvas bag was being pulled toward us. But on closer inspection, I could see it was being pulled by three figures.

LUFFY!

And NAMI!

And CONAS!

And that weird little fox thing…

AWESOME!

Luffy looked pleased, seeing as how he was munching down on a skewered fish and a stick of meat.

They stopped in front of us, and Conas almost had an episode.

"YOUR…YOUR BACK!" She shrieked, choking back tears. "I WAS SO WORRIED…"

Sanji took that comment at being aimed towards just him, and spun around in delight.

I gave Nami a look of _I've-never-been-happier-to-see-you-in-my-life_, and she seemed to return it mildly.

"Is all of that food?" I asked.

"Yep!" Nami said. "We found the priest's store room on our way back through the forest."

"There was lots more…" Luffy tried to say, trying to chew his fish.

"By the way Conas," Zoro said, "where's your old man?"

Dead silence.

Conas looked down in sadness. "Well…he…"

Pagaya had sacrificed himself to save Conas from Eneru's blast.

No one was looking too good after that.

Except me, who could see him come out of the bushes and appear right behind us.

"Guys…"

They looked at me.

I pointed to him, rolling my eyes.

**"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!"**

He flinched. "Sorry! I'm alive!"

Conas was overjoyed. "FATHER!"

Pagaya explained that after he regained consciousness, he woke up in the White Sea bellow, where he joined up with the rest of the refugees that have been trying to make their way to the Blue Sea.

They were making their way back now, to Angel Island.

"Well, are we gonna just sit here, or are we gonna EAT SOME FOOOOOD?"

* * *

Needless to say, we ate.

Plenty of Sky Island goodies were in that bag. I even found some food only native to the Blue Sea in there.

Salted pork...or whatever the equivalent is in OP Land.

It was nighttime before we emptied that entire bag.

"Is that all there was?" I asked, picking my teeth.

"There was enough to feed an army in there!" Pagaya said. "And you sound like you want more!"

We were all content.

"Do you guys want to head back to the ship?" Nami asked.

Luffy and Usopp looked down on her. "Why?"

"Because I was hoping that after a day like this, I could take a nice nap, in my _warm_ bed!"

I fell back onto my back, patting my full belly.

"Job well done team." Michael said.

Everyone looked at Michael in confusion.

He was still in his tiny size, but his belly now bulged comedicly.

"What's that thing?" Luffy asked.

Everyone stared at him, then stared at me.

"Um…"

Michael exploded into smoke.

-POOF-

When it cleared, he was his normal size again. Same clothes and all, but had a cloth band around his head like he had a concussion.

Nami recognized him. "Michael."

He nodded his head.

"He was that swordsman who fought Eneru." Zoro remembered.

Robin was the most intrigued. "So _you're_ Michael."

He scratched his face, and then his body began to fade out.

It dissolved into vapor, and then went back to his tiny form yet again.

"Damn. Well, wanna do the honor's Screaver?" He asked.

I gulped. Everyone was looking at me intently.

I…I didn't know what to say.

"Well…this is Michael. He's been my friend for…a very long time."

"But..." Zoro said, then turned to him. "What _are _you?"

"He kinda looks like a fairy." Usopp said.

Michael scoffed. "No. I am Screaver's Guardian Angel."

They all freaked. "_BWHAAAAAAAT?_"

"Not literally!" I said. "Just…he's a sorta…magic being that lives in my head."

I tried to explain the situation about me and him, how he was a sort of celestial being from another world and lived inside of me.

"That's really hard to believe Screaver." Usopp said.

Chopper waddled over to him. "You look like you're hurt."

Michael held up his tiny arms. "No no, Chopper. It's quite alright."

"He's been living on the ship, inside my head, ever since the beginning. I'm…I'm sorry I kept it a secret Captain." I said to Luffy.

Luffy got up, his stomach still bloated from the food. "It's ok Screaver. It's not like you were hiding a bad guy or anything."

I nodded, and looked at Michael.

"If he's been with us for this long, then I guess there's no problem." Luffy decided. "Besides...he looks really cool!"

He stretched his arm to Michael. "Welcome to the crew!"

Michael grabbed his arm with his little hands and shook. "Happy to be here."

"Well, is this what you wanted Robin?"

She was still looking at him. "Interesting. Very interesting."

_Great…_

"Guardian Angel?" She asked.

He shrugged. "More or less. My job is to keep _this_ guy," he stuck his thumb out at me, "From killing himself."

Sanji shrugged. "You think you can make him less of an annoying prick?"

"Up yours asshole!"

"You wanna start something don't you Bartel?" He taunted me.

I got to my feet. "I'll pound you into the ground!"

"I'll kick your stupid face in!" He yelled, getting to his feet.

"Dream on, blondie!"

"Assface!"

"Cocksucker!"

"BOY!"

"**RAAAAAAARGH!**"

-BONK- -BONK-

A hard wooden object clonked us both in the head, knocking us to the ground.

A floating wooden mallet wearing a fedora and tiny black eyes on the head descended next to us.

"Enough of that. We've had enough violence for one day!"

It exploded into smoke, and turned back into Michael's chibi form.

"Did you eat a devil fruit?" Usopp asked Michael.

He shook his head. "I'm just magical."

Nami scoffed. "Yeah, _magic._"

I got back up, but Michael hovered next to my face.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to talk to _this _guy." Michael said to everyone, pointing at me.

He transformed into the mallet.

"_Privately._"

-BONK-

I was out cold…

* * *

I stood in Michael's magic room, crossing my arms and grumbling angrily.

Michael appeared, in his adult form.

"You really had to knock me out, in front of everyone." I said.

"That doesn't matter now." He said, a look of complete seriousness on his face. "We need to talk about Gabriel."

"Yeah?" I asked. "Luffy beat him…"

"He's gone." Michael said.

"Yeah." I repeated. "Cause Luffy beat him."

"No…like GONE gone." Michael said. "You were still under when I beat Suimasu. Gabriel left Eneru's body."

I raised an eyebrow. "What? Why?"

He shrugged. "Well, we did put a big hamper on his plans. You pretty much rendered his ship unusable. He didn't have enough energy to destroy Angel Island. Besides, he knew he had no chance against Luffy."

"You mean…he couldn't have beaten Luffy anyways?"

"Exactly." He said, snapping his fingers. "He needed the proper time to charge enough power to achieve _Infinitas Animus._ The ship's function was to generate a large amount of power, but instead of using it to destroy Skypiea he would have absorbed it. You put a stop to that."

"Yay me." I said, wagging my finger like I checked a tally on an invisible scoreboard. "But where is he now?"

"Well, my guess is he didn't leave the One Piece universe." Michael said. "He's not stupid enough to leave the safety of this world, where the moderators are _still_ looking for us. He'll be back. In a new form, and try all over again to charge his power."

"How do we stop him?" I asked. "Do we have to kill him?"

"That needs to be done regardless." He said. "He still has some power left from this little escapade. Eneru has been freed from his possession, and will continue his charted destiny. But we've made some huge changes Screaver. We'll need to be vigilant."

"Yeah yeah." I said, swatting the topic aside as if it was a house fly. "I'm sick of all this God and magic stuff. I wanna go back to the way things were, me living in the One Piece world."

He paused. "So…about Suimasu."

I remembered. Catilin…

"We have to talk about something."

He looked down in shame.

"I'm not mad. God I know I'm not. I was…a bit at first. But I felt…betrayed."

"I understand." I said.

"Not to mention…the lies. You really can read my thoughts, can't you."

He nodded.

I curled my lips and nodded my head. "So…what exactly happened? And I want you to start from the beginning."

He nodded grimly. "Well, they said her car veered off the side of the road and went right into the river. The impact ripped both car doors off. They...never found her body."

I was beginning to tremble as he recounted the story. The newly unlocked memories were still a big fuzzy on the details.

"Well…after the incident…you fell off the deep end." He said. "You changed. You were a violent, reckless man after that. I can remember all the feelings of hatred, regret, sadness you felt. You visited…her grave every week."

I didn't fully understand what he was meaning, but after a while I started to put two and two together.

"You're saying that I'm the angry, reckless guy I am today because of…her?"

"I'm not saying that, but it's possible…" he sighed. "I do know that once I put the block on your memories, you lost the ability to dream. An unforeseen side effect."

I was surprised to hear that.

"But blocking your memories of…Catilin didn't do everything I had hoped for. You're personality had been changed. You stayed an angry person Screaver. And so depressed…I was surprised that no one talked about it with you. Not even your own parents."

"Well, they weren't the real understanding type if you so recalled."

"Fair enough." He said.

We shared a moment of silence.

"Can you…I mean I know you did it to end my depression but…I'm a big kid now you know?"

He nodded. "I know. I just…didn't know when the right time was to tell you."

"I talked to my memory of her you know. You made her life a living hell."

He gave another confused look. "Memories don't have feelings."

"**Mine** do." I said, taking a step forward. "Yeah I know, it sounds weird but...damn it."

I cursed myself for the whole thing.

"You were young Screaver." He said.

"Were...were we meant to be together?"

He looked down again.

"No."

I bit my lower lip.

"She was to be just a crush...yet you pursued her, despite all the signals I was giving you."

"So...another one of my screw ups."

I was about ready to crawl up in a ball and never move again.

"You can't just give up!" Michael said. "I didn't give up on you, and neither should you!"

I looked at him. "All my life. All my life I've been a screw up, a mistake. I'm just...I'm just sick of this. What if I hurt the crew? What if Nami..."

Michael walked up to me and grabbed my shoulders. "Listen to yourself! The Screaver I know doesn't mope about the past! You have to keep pushing on! And you can just be so quick to call yourself a screw up! IT'S REDUNDANT! You can't spell Screaver with _screw_ anyways!"

He let me go. "Look at how much as a person you've grown. It was just a tragic act of fate that took Catilin away from this world."

I sighed.

"Maybe...I've got a new life now."

"Right." He said.

"New friends."

"Right."

"...I don't know where I'm going with this."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't think that Catilin would appreciate you beating yourself up now after almost 3 years. What's done is done, and you've got a whole new life now._ We've_ got a whole new life now."

I looked up at him. "It's my life you know. You're just along for the ride."

He smirked, and then held out his hand. "I'm sorry Screaver. I'm sorry I deceived you."

I grabbed it and shook it. "You had good intentions. I'm not gonna kick you out or anything."

It seemed tense. I wasn't completely over the emotional impact of the whole deal.

But, I guess for now, things were ok.

He snapped his fingers, and the scene faded to black.

* * *

I was awoken from the sound of cheering people.

I got to my feet.

My head hurt pretty good.

"Sorry about that."

Michael, in his miny form, floated onto my shoulder.

"What are you, a fairy?"

He scowled. "The fight with Suimasu damaged me. Until further notice, I'll have to take this form in order to maintain a physical form."

"But you can change back to human form right?"

"Only in small bursts." He said.

"Good." I said. "Because I wanna try more of that weapon form sometime."

"Totally." He said, nodding his head in agreement.

After walking out a little, I could see a giant blazing bonfire.

Every Shandorian, Skypiean, Strawhat, even the giant ass snake was partying. I even saw a glimpse of those wild wine-o wolves in the crowd.

Drinks, music, dancing, cheering, laughter, pure happiness.

I was feeling left out…

"Looks like fun."

A small boy stood next to me. He was draped in a white bed sheet, holding a purple sword across his back, a bag tied to the end of it.

Jake, the wind priest.

"I suppose you wanna join in…"

He shook his head. "No thanks man. I'll get torn to pieces of they see me. But…I'm ok with that. It's high time I hit the cloud."

He faced me.

"I'm heading out." He said. "The Blue Sea awaits."

"Where will you go? What'll you do?"

He shrugged. "Don't know. But as long as there's hope in my heart, and a good strong wind blowing at my back, I'll be fine."

He held out his hand. "And thanks to you, I've got plenty of hope."

_For both of us._ Ninachou said. _Thank you._

"Anything for…a fellow Demon Weapon I suppose."

_Maybe there's more like us._ Ninachou said. _Hopefully we'll find a safe place for us to live in._

I shook Jake's hand. "Good luck. Try to avoid the Marines though. They're a bunch of dicks."

He nodded. "Will do."

He turned around, then faced me again. "You know, you may act like a stupid jerk, but you're really pretty smart Screaver."

I laughed out loud. "Blasphemy!"

"I've had enough of religion, thanks." He said.

And with that, He silently strolled though the buildings and turned a corner.

"I'll miss that kid."

"You wanted him dead not a few hours ago." Michael said.

"Eh. Things change."

"Time to join the party." Michael cheered.

I walked out to the main area, and Luffy saw me from across the way.

"Scweavr!" He struggled to say, his mouth full with…more food. "Come join the party!"

"FUCK YEAH I'LL JOIN THE PARTY!"

"**YEEEEEEEAH!**"

* * *

I never was much of a party guy before I came to One Piece.

But I was having a blast.

I was ashamed that I didn't have my guitar, but I didn't think it would have done me any good at a party like this.

The drums beat so loud, the stone floor vibrated with every pound.

I mostly just flailed my arms a lot and maybe did a big of the swing dancing the others were doing.

"Catch me Screaver!" Usopp screamed, and jumped off a rock.

I caught him with one hand, _totally_ not gay, then tossed him into a willing crowd that he began to crowd surf in.

Zoro was off having…you guess it…more drinking competitions with all the _manly_ men in the party.

Whatever.

Mugen was dancing with his little cousin: both of them were laughing pretty hard.

Another woman was with them: a black haired Shandorian wearing a very pretty purple garb.

I think that was Aisa's…sister or something. I couldn't remember.

It really didn't matter: it was probably the happiest family reunion they'd had in years.

Looking at them, then remembering my own family, it kinda felt bittersweet in my chest.

I guess it made me feel…well…homesick.

But before those feelings got too big, a arm slung around my neck.

"Watcha staring at?"

It was Nami.

It caught me by surprise.

"Well…just look at them!"

She looked at the sight, the happy family of Shandorians, and nodded.

"They look pretty happy together." She said a small smile on her face.

"Just the sight of it…well…made me feel a bit…"

She nodded. "I know how you feel. Trust me. I know."

_Yeah._ I thought, _I guess she does know a lot about feeling homesick…_

"But that doesn't matter." I said. "Cause I got a new family now."

I looked at her, and she shrugged. "Well, we worked pretty hard today. Let's make the most of tonight."

I nodded, and looked at her face.

She looked a bit uncertain at what I was going to do.

I moved my face towards her, but she held up her hand.

"Why? Why are you pushing me back?"

She frowned. "If you think that I'm going to kiss you with _that_ on your face…"

She made a circle around my mouth.

I was…flabbergasted.

"All this time, you didn't wanna kiss me…because of my beard?"

She kept frowning. "It's like I'm kissing Chopper or something!"

Now I was the one frowning.

Nami looked around, no one was paying us much attention. They were too busy partying and dancing.

"Well…I guess I do owe you one for saving me from that lunatic…" She said.

She gave me a quick peck on the lips.

I wasn't amused.

"Not good enough."

This time, I moved in and gave her a _proper_ kiss.

At first, she seemed to recoil in displeasure.

_I hope this doesn't make me a rapist…_

But after a second, she relaxed and kissed back.

I pulled away, she opened her eyes.

Then she turned her head and promptly sneezed.

"Well…when I said be more forward with me…" she said, rubbing her nose.

"How's that for forward?" I said, sounding pretty confident at that point.

She pushed away from me, stuck out her tongue in a cute manner, and walked off looking at me with a big smile on her face.

I promptly started patting myself on the back.

"WHO WANTS TO HEAR A SONG?"

* * *

I had Michael teleport my guitar from the ship.

I was so pumped up I played music all night long.

Everyone enjoyed it.

I think the best song I had played that night was this Christian ska song Far Far Away.

I didn't think to include the rest of the song, seeing how it is mostly just bible refrences, but there was just ONE part of the song that I knew had to be included.

_Glory to the KING!_

_Can you hear the bells are ringing?_

_FAR AND FAR AWAAAAAY!_

_Can you hear the voices singing?_

_FAR AND FAR AWAAAAAY!_

Just the chorus really, repeated over and over.

The crowd loved it.

The drummers were pretty good: they could follow pretty much whatever I did.

It was a terrific night.

I could tell by the fact that I can't remember most of it.

It's mostly a blur of music and dancing and…sweatiness.

And of course, me kissin' Nami.

After a night of partying, the entire group passed out.

Hell, I did too.

It was a giant group of people sprawled out of stone floor, sleeping and mumbling.

The Strawhats ended up in generally the same location: a small platform near the giant staircase.

I was having a pleasant night's sleep, until the sound of Luffy and Nami stared to wake me up.

Then, I got kicked in the head.

"Oh, sorry Screaver." Usopp said.

"HEY! DON'T KICK ME IN THE HEAD!"

"Will you be quiet?" Zoro muttered.

"Sorry, but this guy…"

"OY!" Sanji shouted. "SHUT UP SHITHEAD!"

"BITE ME DINGUS!"

"HEY!" Zoro yelled. "YOU TWO AREN'T HELPING!"

Soon all the Strawhats were up and arguing with each other.

Just like any family would.

"HOLD IT!" Luffy shouted over everyone.

We all paused.

He smiled. "Ok, here's the plan…"

* * *

Luffy had clued us all in to his plan.

Inside the snake, was all the gold the city had left. He found it when he was swallowed by the snake.

Luffy organized teams: him, Nami, Chopper and Sanji were to go into the snake's belly to get the gold. Then Nami would go with Conas to prepare the ship so we could run away.

Everyone else had little objectives themselves: Usopp was to try and obtain as many dials he could, Zoro had some "training" to do before we left, Robin had her Poneglyph she needed to take care of…

I however, decided to use my last few hours in Skypiea to pay one last visit to Damien's grave.

It just seemed right.

Luffy also took this as a chance to say good bye to Aisa, who was woken up by our screaming.

"Keep this a secret, alright?" He told her.

She nodded her head. "I promise."

She walked up to me, and hugged me.

"Thank you. Thank you for saving Mugen." She said.

I patted her head. "Tell him to stay strong alright? And someday…maybe when I come back we'll have a rematch."

She nodded her head and released me. "I'll tell him, once you've gone."

And she darted off.

We nodded at each other, and decided to meet back by dawn.

* * *

Michael led me back to the river that we confronted Eneru.

I could still see Damien's grave, with two shovel's sticking out near the dug up earth.

I stood at the foot of the grave.

Michael formed, and landed atop the handle of one of the shovels.

"You have anything else to say?" He asked.

I fished out the gameboy from my pocket.

My jaw trembled.

"I'm gonna miss him, you know?"

"You hardly knew him." Michael said.

"He was like a pet to me." I said. "It's just…I keep hoping…"

I put the gameboy on the ground.

_Come on…_

Nothing happened.

_Come on…_

Still.

I was getting mad.

I formed my bazooka and aimed at the stupid thing.

"WHY DID YOU DO IT? THIS LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT WASN'T WORTH YOUR LIFE!"

-KABOOM-

The instant the blast hit the gameboy, it evaporated.

"Screaver…" Michael warned me.

The gameboy vibrated.

"Oh great, you're going to explode AGAIN! FINE! Explode! Just like when you killed Damien! And shot me full of electicity! DO IT YOU PIECE OF SHIT GAMEBOY!"

I kicked the damn thing against the cliff.

I was angry. I resented that little thing. It may have helped before but…in the long run it did me no good.

Damien died trying to get the damn thing back to me, not realizing it was a piece of shit chunk of plastic that the Chinese probably manufactured in mass product.

I didn't care if it brought me _ meager _joy: I just wanted my fish back...

-CLACK-

The gameboy smacked against the rock.

-**BZZZZZZT**-

A huge blast of energy shot out, hitting me in the chest.

The impact felt like I got hit with a boulder or something, and knocked me backwards into the air.

-THUD-

I landed on my back.

"OW! PIECE OF SHIT!"

"SCREAVER!" Michael yelled.

He floated over to me, and offered his hand.

"Seriously? You're like Six inch nothing."

He frowned. "Just take the damn hand."

Surprisingly, he was strong enough to pull me to my feet. He must have floated upward pretty hard.

"What the hell was that?"

I looked at the little chunk of plastic about ten meters away.

The screen was broken open, and smoke curled out of the casing.

My chest had a scorch mark on it, like I got smacked with soot.

And on the ground, was a black rock of some kind.

It was pure black, the same shade as the black on my chest.

I walked over to it cautiously.

I slowly moved towards it, and touched it.

Nothing happened.

Well, almost nothing. The black color it turned out, was just more soot.

It rubbed off my finger and coated my fingertip with pitch black.

"Michael, you got a towel or something?"

He took off his jacket, and fanned it out. It grew longer and changed shape and color, until it was a long black blanket.

"To prevent stains." He explained for its color.

I grabbed it and started wiping the rock.

No…not a rock…

An egg.

The shape was definitely an egg, but this egg was way bigger than any egg I ever seen.

It was about three times the size of an ostrich egg, that is to say it was roughly almost 2 feet tall, and colored pale tan with even lighter colored designs on it.

I stared at it like I was looking at a solid gold Lamborghini. "Mi…Michael…is this?"

He floated towards it and snapped his fingers, pulling a stethoscope out of thin air.

He put the device into his ears, pressed the device end against it and listened.

I could hear what he was hearing.

-THU-THUMP- -THU-THUMP-

He looked at me. "It's alive."

My mouth hung open.

"Is…is this really…"

A MOFREAKIN POKEMON EGG?

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?

I started shaking, laughing like a madman.

"Haha…A…A Pokémon egg? HAHAHA!"

Michael grabbed me and shook me to stay conscious. "Screaver, this is serious."

"I KNEW IT! Damien…his soul must have been transferred into the gameboy when Eneru zapped him! HE'S ALIVE! BORN ANEW IN POKEMON FORM!"

"Screaver that's ridiculous!" Michael said.

"REALLY? More ridiculous that literally ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS CRAZY WORLD?"

He didn't have an answer.

I grabbed the egg in wonder. "Damien!"

I hugged the egg, almost beginning to cry. "YOU'RE BACK MAN! You're really back!"

I was so overjoyed I DID begin to cry. "Damien…"

I stopped. "What am I going to tell the crew?"

"You'll come up with something." Michael said.

I sat the egg down and walked over to the destroyed gameboy. Then I walked back over to Damien's grave.

I buried the old relic right on top of the grave.

"One old body with the other. Together...they make something new."

I shook out all the soot in the black cloth and wrapped up the egg.

"Well, the more I walk, the sooner it'll hatch right?"

"It's always unclear how an outside force will act in a different world. It might just hatch like any egg would in this world. Or it may follow some rules of how Pokémon act. I mean how would it evolve? Or grow up? Would it age and just grow into it's other evolved forms…"

"_If _it evolves. We don't even know what kind of Pokémon it is. If it's a fire type, or god forbid Dunsparce…"

-_shutters-_

"Dunsparce sucks." Michael agreed.

Now, for all you Dunsparce lovers out there…get a new favorite Pokémon.

Seriously…_Dunsparce?_

If Damien does get reborn into a Dunsparce…well…that'll be sad.

But that's like a 1/300 chance it'll be any Pokémon I can think of.

"My guess he'll become any Pokémon up to the 2nd generation, seeing as how the Crystal Version was plugged in when it happened."

I slung the egg across my shoulder.

"Well Damien, time to go meet your new family."

* * *

Everyone was waiting at the designated spot.

All except Robin. And Nami, but I knew she was busy setting up the escape plan with Conas.

Luffy and the others had bags of gold, while Usopp had a whole bag full of dials tied up around his neck.

Luffy was standing on a hunk of rubble looking for Robin, while the rest of them were waiting to skedaddle.

I walked in holding my black bag, and they looked at me curiously.

"What'ja find Screaver?" Usopp asked. "More gold?"

"Better." I said. I unwrapped the cloth and held up the egg proudly.

"OOOOOH!" Luffy said. "That's a HUUUGE egg!"

"I could feed us for three days with an egg like that." Sanji said, scratching his chin.

"NO!" I roared. "If ANY of you try to harm this egg I will PERSONALLY crack your skulls open!"

I rubbed it like I was petting a dog. "This egg is going to hatch. And when it does…well, we'll have a kick ass MONSTER on our side!"

None of them looked impressed. "A monster egg?" Sanji said.

"First Guardian Angels, then monster eggs?" Zoro scoffed. "You're not really helping fix your credibility Screaver."

"It's true!" I said. "I know this kind of egg! These eggs are the eggs of strong creatures!"

"So…we eat what hatches?" Luffy asked.

"More emergency food rations." Sanji deducted.

"WE'RE NOT EATING THE EGG!" I demanded. "NOR THE CREATURE THAT HATCHES FROM IT!"

The ground rumbled.

In the distance, Robin was walking towards us.

But she was being followed by everyone else.

All the Skypieans and Shandorians were carry a MASSIVE column towards us, wrapped up in a giant cloth.

It was ridiculously huge.

Everyone started freaking out.

"OH SHIT! OH SHIT!" Usopp yelled. "It's an entire army! And what's that? A GIANT CANNON!"

Everyone believed him. They started backing up in fear of being blasted to bits for stealing all the gold.

"TO THE SHIP!" Luffy ordered.

"HEY! HOLD ON!" On of them screamed.

"They're on to us!" Sanji shouted.

Usopp jumped up to shout something back at them. "LIKE HELL WE'RE GONNA WAIT!"

"YEAH!" Luffy agreed. "YOU TELL'EM USOPP!"

I knew there was just a giant golden pillar underneath that cloth.

Part of me wanted to tell them that.

I knew if we got that down with us…we'd be set for life.

Not only us, but our kids, and grandkids, and out great-grand kids a million times over would be set for LIFE!

But…how would we fit that thing on our boat?

Robin started running toward us.

That was our cue.

"RUN AWAAAAAAY!"

Luffy led the charge away from the grateful Skypieans.

We shouldered our bags and ran, cheering about our successful mission.

"WE'RE RICH BABY! RIIIIICH! GOLD AND DIALS AND POKEMOOOOOON!"

"I SURE SHOWED THEM! RIGHT ZORO?" Usopp shouted.

"Yep! You sure did!" He agreed.

"ROBIN MY SWEET! HURRY!" Sanji called back.

"HURRY!" Luffy cheered. "RUN TO THE EDGE OF THE CLOUD!"

"**AAAAAAYE!**"

* * *

We'd been running for about ten minutes.

"Are they still chasing us?" Usopp asked.

"Nope. I think they gave up!" Sanji said, looking behind us. "I don't see them!"

"Oh, thank goodness." Usopp said.

The sip was in sight, on the bay of the island sea.

The Crow as alongside it. Both Nami and Conas were at the ready to take off.

Within minutes we were on board. And we set off for the Blue Sea.

The Upper Yard was beginning to disappear behind us.

I couldn't help but feel a bit relieved and sad to leave that place.

I mean, despite being there for only a few days, it felt like I'd been there for almost a year…

The wind began to pick up.

Which struck me as odd…

The ship pulled out and began to sail towards the cloudy horizon. The Crow drove along side us blaring its horn. Conas, Pagaya and the fox were in it.

"There it is!"

A huge white set of gates was on the horizon. With red roofs and a huge rainbow across the top, the letters CLOUD END could be seen from miles away.

"So we can get down from there?" Luffy asked.

"Lemme see!" Chopper asked.

Luffy perked down. "Are we really going back already?"

"YES!" I said.

I'm sorry, but I was ready to move on to the next adventure.

"We'll be leaving this white sea." Zoro said.

Everyone had gotten a chance to change clothes.

I had a new red shirt on, and a new pair of tan pants.

I never really had a clue where I had gotten them from. And honestly I didn't want to know.

Just one of those mysteries of One Piece.

Chopper clung onto the railing, dangling his legs. "Sky Island sure was fun, but it was also kinda scary."

"Do you think we'll ever come back to Sky Island?" Nami asked.

"That'd be nice." Usopp decided.

"I'm gonna miss some of those guys." I said.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Gan Fall." Sanji said.

"Aisa." Nami said.

"That giant snake." Luffy said.

I gave him a funny look.

The Crow sped ahead of us and docked as we sailed past them. Conas and the old man jumped out and darted across the solid cloud.

They caught up with us, running up against us.

"Sorry everyone!" Pagaya shouted. "This is as far as we can go!"

"Take care everyone!" Conas shouted.

"_SUUU!_" The fox called.

"Thanks for seeing us off!" Nami said.

"I hope that Skypiea ushers in a new age of prosperity!" I cheered.

"Yes!" Pagaya. "People will be able to move their homes from Angel Island to the island if they wanted to! We'll begin to work on a bridge to join the two islands soon!"

"That's wonderful!" Sanji said. "GOOD BYE CONIS!"

"Say good bye to everyone for us!" Usopp cheered.

"Thanks for everything!" Luffy said.

"No." Conas said. "We have YOU to thank for everything! We'll never forget you!"

"Conas, old man, take care of yourselves!" Luffy shouted back.

"Now, tie up your sails and prepare yourselves!" Pagaya shouted.

We got to our feet and went to work.

Just then, a strange bird call rang out.

"_CHAAAAAAA!_"

A small purple toucan was flapping rapidly to catch up with us, its head turned at a painful angle.

-BAM-

It crashed into Luffy.

"_Don't leave without me!_" Chopper translated for it.

It was the south bird we brought with us.

I guess it really couldn't survive in a land where all the animals were super sized.

We got our sails up, and I fastened down my tarp. I tied the egg down in the cloth and put it inside the crows nest.

"Nice and warm. Be good Damien!" I said to it.

We sailed underneath the arch, and it led to a trench of darkness.

"When we get down, we're gonna have a brand new adventure!" Luffy cheered. "Get ready guys!"

I had the sinking suspicion this was going to be like the entrance to the forest.

There was a small dip, and the ship went 180 degrees down.

We all grabbed on to stay steady.

We were gaining speed.

"Everyone!" Conas called out from behind us. "Be careful during the free fall!"

No one moved.

-WHOOOOOSH-

We disconnected.

Nothing, NOTHING was bellow us…

Just…sky and…little cloud and…nothing.

"**Free fall**?" We all asked curiously.

"I knew it…" I grumbled.

Everyone's eyes simultaneously popped out of our skulls and jaws dropped.

The last word I ever heard Conas say was, "HESO!"

-BOOM-

Oh we took off like a ship falling out of the sky.

By that I mean like a FUCKING METEOR!

Just then, a shrill whistle shot out, and a humongous pink shape shot out of the cloud next to us.

A giant pink octopus.

I wasn't even surprised.

It wrapped its tentacles around us.

And then…

-**BOOM-**

We slowed so fast that everyone was pressed against the floor from the force of impact.

"Hey everyone!" Luffy shouted. "Check it out!"

The octopus' head had swollen to massive size, like a balloon.

It was the only thing stopping us from falling again.

"I…I thought I was going to die." Usopp cowered.

-**BWOOOOONG**-

The golden bell was ringing.

Every time I heard that ring I felt a wave of happiness over me.

We were sent off by the ringing of the bell.

-**BWOOOOONG**-

We couldn't do much but sit back and enjoy the ringing of that glorious bell.

"This is nice." Luffy said.

"I could get use to this." I agreed.

* * *

We spent the next hour or so counting the gold we scored.

Gold crowns, gold crosses, golden mini bells, gold birds, gold bricks and boxes. Gold necklaces and rings. Gold shapes and sizes and tons of other things!

So much gold, we thought how to spend it. But I had my eye on that shiny gold pendant.

Ok…enough rhyming.

But seriously, I was in such a good mood.

For the many months I had been on the sea, I had been dreaming of the life of a _rich_ pirate.

We could finally start living like ones.

"GOLD! GOLD! GOLD!" Luffy and Usopp cheered.

Luffy wanted to buy a bronze statue of himself, and Usopp wanted more cannons.

Sanji wanted a better refrigerator with a lock on it, and Chopper wanted new medical books.

"Hold on guys!" Nami said. "We have to land first before we start dividing up the treasure."

I was just drooling about what I was going to buy with my money.

_A flatscreen tv with a new shiny computer and…oh yeah. One Piece world._

I was just so gitty I couldn't contain my excitement.

And Nami could tell.

"What are you so happy about?" She said. "You're going to have to share a portion of that treasure to pay off your debt to me!"

I froze.

I thought she had completely forgotten.

Hell, _I_ had forgotten.

I nodded shamefully. "Yes mam…"

"Miss Navigator…" Robin said. "Which direction are we going?"

She looked at her log pose, and had a heart attack.

"HUAAAAH!"

She ran out the door, inciting us to follow.

"Damn it! We hit an air current and we're getting blown off course." She said.

"Is that bad?" Luffy asked.

"Of course!" She said. "If we keep flowing this way, we won't know where we'll land!"

Well there was nothing we could do about it with that octopus in the way, so we decided to just wait and see.

Luffy suggested we'd be able to find the island as long as we had the log pose.

More time passed. The sun disappeared behind the horizon. Which looked real nice at this altitude.

Zoro woke up again.

_Honestly, it's like he sleeps for three people…_

"How long till we land?" He asked.

"Go back to sleep." Usopp grumbled.

"I hope we don't get blown too far of course." Nami worried.

"At this rate, I bet we'll get blown all the way to Raftel!" Usopp cheered.

"Oh!" Chopper said. "SO coooool!"

"That's physically impossible." Robin disagreed.

"Yeah yeah, I know. Jeez." Usopp shrugged.

Robin was having a conversation with Michael, who had bee able to transform into full human form for the time being.

I wasn't really listening to what they were saying, but they seemed to be getting along well.

I had fetched my egg from the nest (haha) and had it slung over my shoulder.

I was pacing back and forth.

"Um, Screaver…" Usopp said.

I wasn't listening to him.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Thinkin…"

"Why are you holding the egg?" He asked.

I stopped, then stared through him.

"**It helps me think.**"

He gulped, then I relaxed and continued pacing.

_How many steps should it take? 100? 1000?_

I had no idea, but I was determined to get this egg hatched ASAP.

I still had no clue what Pokémon Damien would be reborn as.

If I had the choice (and I'm sure I don't) I'd choose Tyrouge.

That guy is so cool! And a fighting Pokémon!

Or Cyndaquil, or a Togepi!

Oh I would LOVE to have a Togepi!

_Togetogetogepiiiii!_

EWH It would be SOOOO cute…MAN!

GRRRH! Manly! YUH!

Eh…Anything would be fine…except Dunsparce.

Or Pinco, and I'm not really big on Abra…or Bulbasaur or Chicorita…

Maybe Charmander? Flying around on a Charizard?

I imagined myself flying on a red dragon, it shooting fire and me shooting bazooka blasts laughing hysterically.

Hmmm…not my look.

Well…what about Squrtile? Or Totodile?

Hmm…not a huge fan of either those guys. Not that I hate'm or anything.

Just no rock types, or grass types…maybe Houndour?

That'd be sweet. A devil dog…huh.

A water type would be the most practical and most likely. I mean Damien WAS a fish…

Magikarp?

It would be handy to have a Gyarados but…nah.

I was in such deep thought that I didn't realize the ship was wobbling.

Sanji shouted something, then started scurrying up the octopus.

"Wha…what's going on?"

"The octopus is shrinking!" Nami said.

"Luffy's been jumping on it." Michael said worryingly.

"God damn it Luffy!"

-WHOOSH-

Luffy and Sanji sailed downward out in the open sky.

"OH SHIT!"

-SNAP-

Luffy caught onto the railing and stretched down to grab Sanji.

I recovered from a heart attack.

-WHOOSH-

The ship was falling at increasing speeds.

We started floating off the deck.

Michael evaporated to his tiny form and grabbed on to my arm.

If we hit the water at this speed, we were done.

Usopp was the one to go into action.

He slipped in those pink octopus shoes and hopped onto the railing.

"I'm going to save the ship!" He proclaimed.

He hooked his belt onto the railing and turned around.

"USOOOPP AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAH!"

-BOOM-

He launched off the ship.

The rope caught and he slung onto the side the boat.

"Michael!" I said looking down at him. "Can't you turn into something to help?"

He thought for a second, then nodded.

He released my arm and floated up to the top.

-POOF-

A giant sheet with ropes attached to it expanded and tied down to several parts of the ship.

A parachute: and a small one at that.

The ship slowed slightly. "That's all I can do!"

The ship slowed even more.

"THAT'S ALL I CAN DO!" Usopp shouted.

We almost stopped completely.

There was a moment, a scary moment, where we just seemed to hover in mid air.

Usopp hover upward towards us, laughing heroically. "HAHA! Did you all witness my heroic triumph?"

-**POP**-

The octopus shrunk instantly.

We all jaw dropped.

Now nothing was holding us up but Michael's small parachute and Usopp's tiny breath dials, over a mile deep fall of air.

Needless to say, we were scared shitless.

We fell like a rock.

Usopp almost fell of completely if Luffy hadn't pulled him in.

I could see dark water bellow us. I gripped my egg tightly.

"This is the end…" I said, feeling my heart rise out of my throat.

-**SPLASHBOOOOOM**-

We smashed into the water we almost sank.

Cold salty water flooded the deck. I did my best to shelter the egg.

"HOLD ON!" Luffy shouted.

The ship shook and shook; I got a mouthful of saltwater and almost gagged right there.

But, the ship slowed, and the water drained out.

"Are…are we alive?" I asked weakly.

The parachute melted and Michael floated down by my side. "I could just feel my wrinkles stretch out. Do I look wider?"

"Oh god that scared me." Nami said.

"I guess the octopus ran out of air." Robin said.

-SPLAT-

The tiny pink and purple octopus landed on Luffy.

"Well, we made it!" He declared. "Thanks little guy."

He patted the octopus.

We all stared at the sky, contemplating on the land we left.

It was so far away now, and we'd probably never see it again.

But, it was a good memory, and we had plenty to show for it.

Sanji went inside to go make coffee, even though Luffy ordered him to make food.

"By the way…where are we?"

-CLICK-

_Oh sweet Shirley Temple!_

-FLASH- -FLASH-

Bright lights shown on our ship.

Blinding lights, like laser beams surrounded our boat.

-BEOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Alarms.

We didn't move.

When I saw the surroundings, they didn't seem very…natural.

Giant metal constructs, bridges, buildings doted the cliffs that surrounded us.

"Just…where are we?" Luffy asked.

I gulped. "G8 Marine Stronghold."

"**WHAAAAAAAAAAT?**"

* * *

**So...on an unrelated note: tell me this. What kinda Pokemon you see Damien being reborn as? I already have the choice picked out but...let me hear what you're ideal Pokemon for Screaver in a review.**


	106. Chapter 106

Divide and...HIDE!

Adventure in the G8

We literally had seconds to react.

We were frozen with disbelief: how ONE group of pirates had probably the WORST luck imaginable.

But I knew, and I was prepared.

"We need to split up! Leave the ship!"

"What?" Usopp disagreed. "We can't leave Merry behind!"

"No…" Nami said. "He's right. Split up! Jump ship now! Make sure the devil fruit users have someone to help swim with!"

"But…what about the…" Sanji said. He had come back out to the deck when he heard the sirens.

"Leave everything! We'll find a place to hide!" I said. "Then when the heat is down, find a crack in their defenses, and take the ship back once they confiscate it."

"Not much of a plan." Zoro said. "They might decide to destroy it."

"They won't have it long enough for that." Luffy agreed. "It's decided! WE SPLIT UP!"

And with that, we all headed for a side.

Sanji grabbed Luffy's arm and they both went over.

Usopp jumped off with Robin on the other side.

Nami ran inside.

"Nami!" I started to say.

She shot me a look that said _just go! I'll be fine!_

I didn't wanna leave Nami alone.

But she patted my face and kissed my cheek real quickly.

"Go." She said, and ran inside.

I grabbed Damien's egg and Michael's tiny body and did a swan dive off the side.

The water was bloody cold!

And my body was NOT pleased to be doing a swim at the moment.

"Hold on!" Michael yelled, and wriggled in my hand.

His body begand to grow and change shape in my hand, into something soft and grippy.

It was two feet long, made of some water resistant fabric, and dark blue on one side and yellow on the other.

A kickboard.

"Are you fucking joking?" I said, struggling to stay out of the lights.

"Put the egg on and HOLD on!"

I obeyed his wishes, and the kickboard lurked forward.

Then it darted forward, pulling me like I was water skiing.

I had to hold myself forward to prevent falling off.

"I hope this water doesn't hurt the egg."

A simple face appeared on the front side, two dots for eyes and a single curved line for a mouth.

"No, it's fine." Michael said. "I enchanted the blanket. Completely waterproof and insulated!"

"You're just the wonder tool nowadays aren't you?"

"And _you're_ still a bigger tool than I am. Go figure." He said back.

"Bite me."

The super board dodged several patrolling galleons, duck under a few times to prevent being spotted, and made it along a cliff side.

We made a sharp turn, and almost crashed head long into another ship.

I just had enough time to yelp before the board pulled me under, the bottom of the ship barely grazing my feet.

When it came back up the ship was way behind us.

I spat salt water and cursed. "The fuck man?"

"You wanna complain when I just saved us from being caught?" Michael argued.

"No. I wanted to skip over this fucking filler arc like we did with the FUCKING DRAGONS!"

From what I could remember, the base was completely surrounded by cliffs, with no escape but a gate that opened only a few times a month or something.

I couldn't remember, I never really cared about this little arc.

But, because it meant life or death, I REALLY wished I HAD paid more attention.

"There!" I said, pointing to a small area that looked safe to stand on. "That looks like a good place to stop."

Michael steered toward the land, and shot out of the water.

He flung me into the air, changed back into chibi form, grabbed the egg and…

-BAM-

I landed flat on my face.

"Asshole."

He handed back the egg. "Well, what now?"

I tensed: footsteps.

They were across the way, and there was no place to hide.

Jump back in the water?

Just then, Michael pushed me against the stone wall.

"What are…"

-WHOOSH-

He grew wider, and flatter, and I was pressed against the wall by a giant sheet.

I could still hear everything.

Two small holes formed in the sheet, and I could see.

Two marines, with crisp white uniforms and rifles, walked past.

They seemed to look at the floor.

The water…

I tracked water.

Faint puddles went right up to the wall.

They looked at the puddles, then turned to the wall.

They shone their lights, and I shut my eyes.

_Please…please…please…_

The light dimmed, and I opened my eyes.

"Someone must have dumped water over the side." One of the marines decided.

"Irresponsible." The other agreed. "All these new guards, they'll learn."

The two chuckled and walked down the way.

Once they turned a corner, the paper peeled off me.

"You know…" I said, taking a breath. "With all these techniques, I'd thing you were a ninja."

Michael had turned into a sheet of paper that matched the stone wall perfectly.

It rolled up like a scroll and turned into chibi Michael.

"Was with a ninja way back in the day. Ok guy. Second favorite host."

"Second favorite?" I asked.

"Well, he did kill 300 people. Women and children…"

We share a nervous laugh together.

"Let's find someplace to sleep." He said.

"What? Sleep now?"

"We've been up all day." He said. "Plus, there's nothing we can do about the ship now. Better to wait till the morning."

"And where does an outlaw pirate sleep in a major law-enforcing marine base?"

He thought, then looked around. Then faced the direction the marines came from.

"Follow me, I have an idea." He said.

He floated down the path, forcing me to follow.

* * *

Confession: I was never very stealthy.

_Shocker._

But Michael took care of the stealth. He could tell when a guard was coming, then do is magic ninjitsu thing and hide me against the wall.

We reached some sort of barracks.

It was empty: rows of cots, a separate room that was a massive bathroom with showers and a row of sinks.

Michael scanned the room, then found a laundry bin.

It was filled with dirty, sweaty uniforms.

He lifted one out with his tiny hands and positioned it at me.

"When in Rome, wear a toga." He decided.

I just stared at him.

"Oh come on." He said.

"I'm NOT wearing dirty laundry!"

He frowned, then started fanning it out.

All the stains and all sorts of filth just flew off like it was dust.

When he was done, he was holding a crisp white uniform shirt with the Marine sigma on the back.

"Perfect, clean, ironed, even smells like fresh grapes. Now PUT IT ON!"

He did the _fan_ treatment on several other items: pants, the scarf, even found a nice pair of shoes he altered to my feet.

He brushed off a hat and stuck it off my head. "Perfect. You're the ideal Marine grunt." He beemed.

I slouched and scratched my ass in response.

He frowned. "Well, you would, if you didn't have that…"

He drew circles around his face, similar to how Nami did it when she referenced my beard.

I frowned. "No one likes the beard…"

He pointed to the bathroom. "Recruits have to have protocol haircuts AND clean shaven faces."

"That's a load of bull!"

"Tell me you've seen a grunt with a beard! Only officer's can have beards or facial hair!"

"THAT'S A BIGGER LOAD OF BULL!"

"Do you want to have kissy time with Nami again or WHAT?" He finally said.

That shut me up.

I turned about face and marched to the bathroom.

Michael provided the razor and shaving cream.

Or, he WAS the razor and shaving cream.

"That tickles." He would constantly say.

"Can't you just MAKE some appear?"

"…I never thought about it." He admitted.

I groaned and finished up.

I was clean shaven. It was the first shave I'd had in months.

My face felt…breezy.

I wouldn't stop rubbing it because it was so sensitive.

"Well, it's getting late." Michael said, wiping all the shavings off himself. "Time to get some sleep."

"Really?"

"Well, the recruits are coming back, and you're gonna look strange being the only guy who hadn't been on duty."

I groaned as footsteps and mumbling echoed throughout the barracks.

As they filed to their cots, Michael hid me.

I had to spend at least another hour until they had all cleaned, dressed and went to bed.

I had to find a cot not being used.

Surely there had to have been an extra or something.

Sure enough, at the far left corner, a empty bunk on top was to be found.

I jumped up, put the covers over my clothes, and tried to get to sleep.

* * *

I slept ok I guess: I had been through a lot the day before.

I was awoken to the sound of many Marines rushing out the door.

"HURRY! Emergency drill! Hurry!"

Everyone had cleared out by the time I could get up.

"Where's the fire? HA!"

Michael didn't laugh.

"Get it? Fire! In a water base! Get it?"

"Not funny." He said.

I wasn't about to go to drills or anything, but I was up.

I needed to find the others, find the ship, find a way out of this base, and make a plan to escape.

I also needed to hide the egg until we could escape.

I put the egg in my shirt.

After wrapping the cloth around my waste, then putting on my shirt, I looked like any normal overweight guy.

I mean it made me look like I had a gut, which made me less recognizable.

I had to remember: I had a wanted poster. They knew my face and name probably.

But the shave had changed a bit, and this gut made me seem less terrifying.

I left the barracks, out the way the other guards went.

* * *

_This place is huge!_

Corridor after corridor, hall after hall, I had no idea how ANYONE found ANYTHING in this damn place.

I'd find other marines, but no one paid me any attention.

They'd maybe give me a salute, but most just acted…indifferent.

I realized I slept in a bit late, and most of them had probably gone about their business.

"OY! YOU!"

I turned, put my feet together and saluted high.

A tall, imposing man with muttonchops and a big fancy jacket on walked toward me, with five armed grunts at his side.

He gave me a look that said _oh it's my lucky day._

This guy was familiar. He was always trying to catch the Strawhats. He was like…the king Marine in the filler arcs.

He walked up to me and sneered. "And where are you off to?"

I had had experience with boot camps, so I spoke in my best grunt voice. "To the mess hall, sir!"

"What is your attachment recruit?" He demanded.

I thought for a brief moment. "Unit…18 sir!"

"Hmm…" He said. "18th Unit is the Sharpshooter unit I believe…where is your gun recruit?"

I was about to say I'd lost it, but…

-CLICK-

Finally! My memory helped me when I needed it.

_He used this trick with Usopp…18__th__ Unit…wow I'm lucky. And it's not sharpshooter, it's…_

"Sir! I'm afraid you're mistaken sir!"

He raised an eyebrow at me, and got in my face.

"What did you say, recruit?"

I didn't falter. "Sir! 18th unit is…the supply unit! Sir!"

He grumbled and pulled away. "Very good recruit, congratulations."

He turned to his men. "There have been reports of unidentified soldiers walking around. Are top suspects are the Strawhat Pirates."

He turned to me and gave me another intense look. "We've already captured one of them: Roranoa Zoro. The rest will soon follow."

He gestured to his men, and looked at me.

"You seem strong enough. Go down to the armory to get yourself properly equipped. I understand the recruits in the 18th division don't have their standard issued gear yet."

He walked off. "DISMISSED!"

I dropped to my knees and took a deep breath. "That was too close."

Michael nodded, appearing before me. "That was Lieutenant Drake. And yeah, he's only in the filler arcs. And he has a huge stick up his ass 23/7."

"23?"

"Well, a man's gotta sleep right?" Michael shrugged.

"Where's the armory?"

Michael shrugged. "We don't have time for that."

He waved his hands and two items shimmered into existence.

A standard rifle.

I adjusted it to my person. "Does it work?"

"Completely functional. Though I don't know why you would use it." Michael said.

I patted my bulging belly.

"They got Zoro already. I need to find the others."

I followed the path that Drake went down.

* * *

I couldn't find him again.

Instead I found a huge set of double doors with other grunts waiting in line.

"Food."

One of the other guys heard me and turned. "Not just any food. Some fancy cooks from the Holy Land have been making this amazing grub!"

"It's awesome!" Another said. "A welcome change to Jessica's cooking I say!"

_Jessica?_

I didn't know that there were people named Jessica in the One Piece world.

Jessica has to be one of the most American girl names of all.

Everyone froze, then stood up right and saluted.

A tall, imposing man with red hair a big mustache walked by.

Everyone parted away to make a path for him.

I didn't move.

He caught a glimpse of me, but didn't react.

Once he left, the rest of the men seemed much more quieter that before.

"Hey," I said to the one guy, "stupid question but…who was that guy?"

He looked at me like I was a retard. "That was the Commander of the 8th Division! The Commander of G8!"

-GULP-

_The scary all powerful strategic master of this base?_

"Of course! Right, sorry! JK! LOL!"

I got into the mess hall, grabbed a plate of food, then polish the plate off ASAP.

I got up, leaving my plate there, then peered into the kitchen.

Sure enough, there was a blond chef dazzling the other chefs with his cooking prowess.

And another, less impressive chef eating all the food.

_Luffy and Sanji are here._

I knew what was about to go down.

A blond lady walked in and shouted an order.

She was gorgeous.

She had that maturity beauty to her: probably mid 20's, blond hair, thin lips, and huge heaving breasts.

Sanji gave her a plate of food, Luffy ran up to grab it, but she ordered against it.

_He's gonna take that plate in and eat the food. It's gonna get crazy in here._

I had to go.

I left the mess hall.

The crowd was getting bigger, so I thought it to be best to leave the area altogether.

* * *

I stumbled though another hall, and ended up head on into…my favorite lieutenant. With his entourage of grunts.

I stood at attention. "Sir! I have replaced my rifle SIR!"

The Mutton-chop man nodded. "Come with me recruit. I'm going to need back up on this."

I nodded, and followed his guard.

I was perhaps the biggest of his group, so I stood in the middle.

We reached a set of doors with a red light on.

_Operation…in progress?_

I tried to translate the lettering under the light.

"Wait here." He told three of us.

I and two others stood at the doors.

He was in there for about a minute.

I didn't say a word.

He left looking rather cross. "Guard the door." He told us.

And he left with the other men.

_Nice to know ya._

Well the two other guys stood at attention.

I decided to walk off.

"OY!" One of them said. "He told us…"

"I'm sorry, but I had a prior engagement before he found me. I must be somewhere else."

I rushed off before they said anything else.


	107. Chapter 107

Part Two of G8

The Great Escape...THEY TOOK WHAAAAT?

Things weren't going too well.

I had heard that Usopp had got captured by another set of gossiping guards.

So they had two of our guys now.

And then, as luck would have it, I got fed up with walking around aimlessly.

I found another set of doors on a higher level of the base, and opened them.

It was an office.

A set of big window glass doors led to a balcony, red carpets, a nice desk…some shiny looking junk in the corner.

Wasn't very tidy if you ask me.

And the Commander of the 8th Division, leader of the whole flipping base, was sitting at this desk.

I freaked.

He seemed surprised.

"Well…hello." He said, fumbling with a few chess pieces on his chess board.

I had to think.

_Sorry, wrong room!_ I was about to say.

No…I'd give myself away. I straightened up and saluted. "Sir! I have something…to report!"

"At ease recruit." He waved his hand.

I gulped, then wracked my brain to think of what to say.

_What about…Usopp…then…the inspector…_

It had to have happened by now.

I spoke up. "Sir, it seems that we've captured another Strawhat!"

He widened his eyes. "Really?"

I nodded. "A man…he was trying to pose as…A Marine inspector."

"_Inspector_ Shepard?" He asked.

I nodded again. "He…was lying obviously."

The man stood up and walked toward me.

He put a hand on my shoulder, I tensed.

"And why didn't you report this in on your Den Den Mushi?" The Commander asked curiously.

"Um…I lost mine." I said, trying to sound ashamed.

He chuckled slightly. "You'll learn in time."

He walked back to his desk.

I was about to leave when he said, "Don't miss too many meals do you son?"

I gulped. "Um…no sir."

He looked at me, setting a hand on the desk. "Well, the Marine's seem to have a way of burning off the access weight. I have my wife to thank for my health but…"

-WHOOSH-

Something flew toward my gut.

I instinctively curled to protect the egg.

A white bishop chess piece bounced off my arm.

The Commander stared at me in silence.

"That's not just gut I'm assuming." He said.

_This guy's smart._

"Um…I don't know what you're…"

"Either you're stealing something from the supply sector _recruit of the 18__th__ unit_, or you're not telling me something."

He flicked a bounty paper onto the floor.

It was _my_ bounty paper.

"_Bazooka Bartel_." He said calmly. "You've shaved."

_How the fuck is this guy so smart?_

"I caught a glimpse of you at the mess hall, and I had your poster brought up for comparison. Drake was also suspicious of you. I hadn't said anything, but he seemed convinced you were another recruit."

He stomped his foot. "So tell me: why have you invaded this base? What is it that you want?"

I groaned. "We want NOTHING! It was an accident."

"Accident?" He asked.

I shrugged. "We came from Sky Island. And before you say _it's impossible,_ it's not. We rode the Knock-up Stream from Jaya. And we fell back down to earth on a…floating octopus…"

I looked down, realizing the lack of sense that comment was.

"Well, I honestly don't know if what you say is true or not. However…"

He made a move towards the Den Den Mushi in his office, but I blocked him.

_I can't get caught now. He'll tell someone and the alarm will be raised. Luffy and the others might get caught because of me._

Using my fist, I smashed the machine, and ripped the Den Den Mushi off the counter.

"Sorry, but you ain't telling anyone about me yet."

I formed my bazooka. "Not until I free my crew."

And I ran out of the room, slamming the door shut.

"Michael. Lock these doors."

Michael appeared and snapped his fingers.

Chains formed into existence and tied several knots around the double doors.

The brig…I knew where it was…

Across the bridge.

A dropped the snail phone and ran.

* * *

I found a window I could jump out of. I had to move fast.

The bridge was massive red metal with a strip of land underneath it.

Needless to say I took the low path.

Another door.

Another hallway.

And then a dark corridor.

About two dozen men aiming rifles in the other direction formed a blockade.

I had them completely unawares.

I fired my bazooka.

-KABOOM-

The men we're blown forward.

Through the wreck, I used the cover of smoke to search the bodies for a set of keys.

Sure enough, a small set of bronze keys was in a big pale guy's pocket.

I walked through the smoke, and saw the jail cells.

Sanji and Luffy were there: Luffy was on the ground moaning with Sanji staring at me in confusion.

Zoro and Usopp were in a cage, with another weird looking guy. Zoro's swords were in a separate cage.

And another blockade of men were standing at the far end, all with swords being led by Drake.

Drake glared at me. "You…"

"Screaveeeer…"Luffy muttered.

I took off my hat. "Consider this my resignation from the Marines! BITCHES!"

I fired three shots past Sanji and it engulfed the marines in smoke.

"Since when…" Sanji gasped. "When were you having a baby?"

I threw him the keys. "Get these guys free. I got the Marines."

I ripped off the Marine shirt, with my regular red shirt underneath.

"Mega Bazooka!"

-KABOOM-

I fired several more times to make sure they were down.

"Yeah baby!"

Sanji had let everyone out.

Zoro got his swords, Usopp his bag, and Luffy was up and raring to go.

"So…if this hiding thing was a contest…I won!" I cheered.

"I wasn't even trying to hide, moron." Zoro grumbled.

"Let's go!" Luffy cheered.

Zoro led the charge up the corridor and back into the base.

"Don't let Zoro lead!" Usopp warned. "Well get lost!"

"Shut up asshole!" Zoro shouted.

* * *

We got lost…

Big surprise with Zoro leading the way.

I knew outside was JUST down THAT hallway, but it was like Zoro was getting subconscious messages to go the EXACT opposite direction that anyone else would go.

"RUN! RUN! RUUUN!" Luffy cheered.

He took the lead, and things got slightly better.

Usopp was having a hard time keep up with us.

I had taken the egg out of my shirt and was carrying it with one hand in the black blanket.

"You want me to hold it?" Michael asked.

I handed it to him. "Good call. In case we run into more marines."

"WAIT WAIT!" Usopp yelled. "Wait up a minute!"

"Which way is the Going Merry?" Luffy asked.

We reached a cross section in the hallway: three different directions.

Down one hall, a huge group of Marines with cutlasses and rifles were charging towards us.

Another hall, a similar group of equally armed Marines were getting ready to capture us.

And from the way we came, Drake was leading _another_ group of grunts to block off our escape.

The fourth path led up to some stairs with a locked door, so that one was also out of the question.

"We're trapped!" Usopp cowered.

Luffy chuckled. "_Now_ things are getting interesting."

He cracked his knuckles "The old Stronghold guy said that escape is impossible."

"Seems like it." Sanji said. "I heard there are over 1000 Marines stationed here."

"And what exactly is so _interesting_ about that?" Usopp asked nervously.

"Because!" I said. "It was about time for us to get a bit of a challenge."

"It's _impossible_." Luffy repeated mockingly.

"SO WHAT?" Usopp shouted.

"Enough Usopp." Zoro ordered.

"Once he says he'll do something, there's no stopping him." Sanji sighed.

"Which just means more work for all of us." I grumbled.

"ALL TROOPS!" Drake ordered. "ENGAGE THE STRAWHATS!"

"GUM GUUUUUUM…"

Luffy charged the path straight ahead of us.

"GATLING!"

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

With a flurry of stretchy fists, the wave of Marines were sent flying and crashing to the ground.

Luffy charged ahead, leading the rest of us to follow.

"YAHOOO!" He cheered.

Another group was ahead.

"HALT! STRAWHAT!" One of them ordered.

"GATLING!"

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

He punched them out the window!

Well, it was more like a cliff.

The base had giant holes in it that served as wide windows outside.

Luffy stepped outside onto the cliff that showed the view of the bridge.

"A dead end?" Zoro asked.

"No." Luffy said. "We just need to run along this cliff…"

-BANG- -BANG- -BANG-

Bullets fired down at our feet, causing everyone but Luffy to run back behind a rock.

"Straw Hat!" A familiar old voice called from above. "You've finally shown yourself!"

It was the base commander, who was standing on his balcony I had locked him into a while back.

There was another Marine with him, so I assumed he had been able to open the doors Michael had locked up.

"It's the Navarone Commander!" Usopp gasped.

_Navarone? I thought it was G8._

_Same thing._ Michael said.

"Old man," Luffy said. "is that where you've been?"

"Of course." The old man said. "This is my private room. Though _one _of you have already made a mess of the place."

"I don't regret it!" I shouted.

Luffy ran to a higher point. "How about that? I rescued my crew!"

He held up his fist in a challenging manner.

The old man sneered.

"It's like I said old man." Luffy said. "When I wanna go, I'll go."

"I see…" the man said. "And what about now? Are you ready to leave?"

"Yep. We're on our way out now." Luffy said.

The man chuckled. "Are you know? I wonder if you'll be able to escape…or rather…escape from _me_."

"You won't capture us." Luffy scoffed. "We're pirates!"

-KABOOM-

A cannoned fired from across the lake.

Everyone flinched.

I formed my bazooka and locked on.

-KABOOM-

The two blasts detonated in the sky.

"RUN AWAY!" Usopp shouted.

And we scurried down the cliff side.

* * *

We reached the base of the bridge.

We hid behind a rock formation in order to survey the area.

The bridge seemed…unguarded.

The base of land where we had came from was crawling with troops, but the actual _bridge_ was deserted.

"It's most likely a trap." I said.

"Yes." Luffy said. "That stronghold old man is pretty crafty."

"It's almost like they're inviting us to go that way." Zoro said.

"Well, we have little choice." Michael said. "Unless you want to try our luck with those several hundred men down there."

"**WHOA**!"

No one realized Michael was here.

"Sorry. Should have announced my presence…" he grumbled.

"You're flying! That's SOOOO cool!" Luffy beemed.

"Why did you bring that stupid egg?" Sanji asked me in annoyance.

"I couldn't risk it getting hurt." I said. "Don't worry, Michael's taking care of it."

"Terrific." Zoro said. "Only Six of us against 1000, and one of us is busy watching a dumb egg!"

"TAKE THAT…"

Sanji clamped my mouth shut. "Be quiet!"

Luffy got up. "It doesn't matter. I say we're leaving!"

He pointed to the top of the bridge.

Luffy led us up a cliff path.

We reached the bridge.

It was a huge, wide red framed bridge with assorted cargo set in random areas.

There were two different strips that served as the walk ways, both of them connected by thinner chain link red strips big enough for a small group to walk across.

Giant red towers of weaved red metal held the bridge up.

My guess was it was about a half mile across, and about 1000 feet above the water.

"There's no one here." Sanji warned.

"Let's go!" Luffy chuckled and ran out.

"Hey wait!" Zoro warned, running after him.

"Wait you numbskull! HOLD UP!" Usopp shouted.

"Guess there's no stopping now." Sanji sighed and followed.

"Keep the egg safe Michael. I'll deal with whatever comes up on this bridge." I said, chasing after them.

"I can't remove the egg from reality without damaging it. But I'm good at dodging. We'll be fine." He said.

We made it halfway across the bridge: no enemies in sight.

But something was odd.

I could sense the cargo trembling as we ran past it…almost like it was moving slightly…

And at the far end, the exit was covered by a large group of…bushes.

Bushes. On a stone and metal constructed bridge.

_That's definitely not a good sign._

"Wow! This is pretty high up! Kinda scary!" Usopp shouted.

The bushed rumbled.

Luffy grunted in confusion.

-WHOOSH-

The bushes were thrown away.

About fifty big, bulky Marine men were revealed to have been hiding.

"Just great." I groaned.

"Oh! Here they come!" Luffy shouted.

Then, about fifty more climbed up from the sides, as if they had been clinging to the underside of the bridge and finally decided to come up.

Usopp turned tail and began running the opposite direction.

Just then, another huge wave of burly Marines exploded from the cargo boxes and barrels, cutting off our exit.

In total, about 300 of the biggest and fattest men you ever saw. Some of them even had swords.

Normally, I wouldn't be afraid.

But most of these guys were _my_ size, and I could count a good number of them that were even bigger.

And most of them weren't just fat: most of them had big rippling muscles and deep scars on their faces.

"These guys look like they'll give us some trouble." Zoro said casually.

Luffy pounded his fists together. "No matter who tries to stop us, I'VE decided that we're gonna leave!"

One of the Marines stepped forward. He looked bigger than the rest of them, had really red skin (not literally, more like he was sunburned), hairy arms, thin sideburns that stretched across his face, and was drenched in sweat.

"We, the hot wind unit of Navarone, will stop you here!" He roared. "Not ONE of you pirates will make it across."

In fact, most of them looked pretty sweaty. I assumed that none of them were actually winded.

It was probably a genetics thing.

"Enough with the huffing and puffing." Sanji said, lighting another cigarette. "Let me enjoy a cigarette in peace before you try anything."

They all got in a pose: something like hunching over and flexing their muscles.

The leader sang out a battle call. "WE ARE NAVARONE'S BATTLE CORPS!"

They all took one step in sync.

"**LET THEM FEEL THE HOT WIND OF OUR SOULS!**" The rest of them sang.

Luffy laughed and tried to imitate their battle song.

"ATTAAAAACK!"

The Hot Air Patrol (whatever) charged at us on all sides.

Four of them jumped up from the sides and tried to grab us.

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

Zoro, Sanji and I all smacked them unconscious.

Luffy stepped back.

"GUM GUM GATLIIIIING!"

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

The whole first row of them went careening off the side of the bridge.

"BAZOOOOOOOOKA…PUUUNCH!"

-BAM-

I smacked one of them into five others, and they all went off the side.

Zoro started punching their lights out. I guess they weren't important enough to use his swords.

"Prepare yourself Straw Hat…" One of them said.

I turned to see one of them…-GASP-…was a BOXAAAAR!

He was a bit smaller than the rest of these meat heads, with a set of boxing gloves, and was in a defensive pose shifting his weight between his feet.

He was getting ready to fight Luffy, but my greed over came me.

-BAM-

"**BOOOOOOXIIIING!**"

I laughed manically, throwing every tactical move I could remember at him.

He grunted, and he threw a punch that seemed to stretch across to hit me.

His glove was attatched to some sort of metal expander: allowing it to function just like a Luffy punch.

But I grabbed it under my arm, and pulled him in.

"JAJAJAJAAAAAACKHAMMER!"

-**BOOM-**

I'm sure I gave him a full set of powdered ribs after that.

He went flying into several other guards: apparently being 400 pounds didn't help with your balance much.

But three of them caught my arm and held it behind my back.

Three others followed suit with my other.

They put my arms behind my back, so I couldn't aim my bazooka at them.

Four more secured my legs, and two more grabbed my chest.

"You're…_huff…_not going anywhere…_huff…_Bazooka Bartel…"

This guy was mouth-breathing all over me.

Disgusting.

They had already secured Luffy down in a pile up, Sanji was in a head lock with another, and Zoro had been grabbed by a big bald guy.

Usopp was trying to escape from a large number of them up top one of the spires.

Michael floated up high to avoid them, but they were getting closer. They were tossing up objects to try and shoot him out of the sky.

I didn't want Damien to get hurt.

I closed my eyes.

_Weapon form…_

My body glowed. The Marines seemed unnerved but didn't let go.

My body changed shape and slipped out of their hands.

They tripped over themselves as my new bazooka form laid underneath them.

-KABOOM-

I fired a shot out of my mouth, knocking them aside and launching myself spiraling into the air toward Michael.

I couldn't see Michael's face very well, but my handle was grasped by a familiar hand.

Michael landed on the ground with a hard jolt, holding me in one hand and the egg in the other.

"Now…where we're we?"

-KABOOM- -KABOOM- -KABOOM-

Michael let several shots scatter the men.

Three of them charged Michael.

He side stepped the first one, clicking my handle and allowing me to spin with full force, smacking him behind his neck.

"WHOOOOOA!" Luffy yelled. "SCREAVER! SO COOOOOL!"

"_Focus Luffy!_" I said, my voice sounding like an echo in weapon form.

Michael flipped the bazooka 180 degrees so the studded back end was facing the next Marine.

-KABOOM-

He fired the bazooka, and the barrel shot forward like a piston and smashed the Marine in the face with cannon recoil force.

Additionally, the blast connected with the third Marine, and he was blasted backward into another Marine.

Michael stood there amongst the Marines, who were all in awe and terror at us.

Michael was just irradiating power: his body was alit with a golden glow.

"This…this feels right." Michael said.

"_Damn straight. It's like I was born to fight this way. Still…I do prefer getting my HANDS dirty once in a while…_"

Another Marine charged at us, only to be kick off the side by Sanji.

Sanji looked at us in smug wonderment. "Well…that's new."

Michael nodded.

"_My full weapon form._" I told him. "_Turns out Michael's my miser._"

"GUM GUUUUUUM…"

Luffy's leg stretched high in the air.

"Oh boy…" Michael groaned.

"_**Shit**_." Both Sanji and I cursed.

"AAAAAAXE!"

-BOOM-

Luffy's kick was so strong, it went through the whole bridge.

The bridge was collapsing.

-**BOOOOOOOOM**-

It collapsed.

Everyone fell into the water bellow: both Marines and Strawhats.

"_Michael…kickboard form please…_"

"I can do better!" He sneered.

-POOF-

Suddenly, I was laying in a average size wooden life boat.

-SPLASH-

I was jumped into human form as the boat crashed into the sea.

Broken bridge pieces were raining from above, including many beefy Marines.

"_Better?_" Michael said, leading me to believe he _was_ the boat.

"Hurry and find Luffy! And the rest of them!"

* * *

Within minutes we pulled all the crew onto land. Michael went back to chibi form after I tossed Luffy's wet and wimpy body ashore.

"When we sync Screaver," Michael said, "I have enough power to go into human form without feeling drained."

"That's…cool I guess."

"I think I should do that for now." He decided. "I shall remain in this form until I am needed to go into _battle mode_."

He chuckled to himself. I picked up his tiny body and the egg.

"Hold on to the egg ok?"

"Yes sir." He saluted.

Zoro and Sanji were disciplining Luffy for being a…what else?

A stupid, reckless idiot of course.

"Let's get going." Zoro said, looking at the base behind us. "Which way?"

Usopp pointed in a direction. "That way…"

We ran back into the base, Usopp taking over direction.

"Are you sure it's this way?" Zoro asked.

"Don't worry, I'm sure!" He said. "Down this hallway!"

"I hope it isn't another…"

-CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCH-

"…trap…"

About 500 Marines were fortified in the next room: all pointing rifles at us.

Right behind them, our beautiful and weary Going Merry was heavly entrenched in a giant wave of Marine soldiers.

And at the front, leading the gunmen, Lieutenant Drake was waiting.

"Unit 7 Sharpshooters, FORWARD!" He ordered.

The men stepped forward, and aimed their rifles.

We all got ready to run or dodge or do something!

It was Luffy who saved our bacon.

"GUM GUUUUUUM…"

"FIRE!"

-**BANG- -BANG- -BANG-**

"BALLOOOOON!"

The bullets sunk into Luffy's inflated belly, and snapped back at the Marines, causing them to flinch in surprise.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Sanji and Zoro yelled in anger, mad at how he scarred them just as bad.

"Nice job Luffy." I said.

"Unit 12, cannon brigade, step forward!" Drake commanded.

Three man brandishing shoulder cannons stepped forward.

"I got this!" I said, forming my gun.

"FIRE!"

-KABOOM- -KABOOM- -KABOOM-

Three bullet shaped cannonballs sailed slowly toward us.

They were so slow that I missed the first shot.

-CLONK-

The blasts laid at our feet smoking.

"Duds?" Luffy asked.

-BWOOOOOSH-

The cannons exploded into blinding light, then smoke enveloped us.

The smoke stung my eyes, and made me cough violently.

"Tear gas!" I choked.

"They're flash bombs!" Usopp shouted.

"My eyes hurt so much I can't see!" Luffy cried.

"Michael!" I choked.

I jumped into the air, forming into a bazooka, and Michael grabbing my handle.

"Tear gas." He sneered, his glasses morphing into slick black goggles. "Petty tricks won't work on me, Marines."

I could see fine in bazooka form, but everything was still cloudy.

"Close combat unit forward!" Drake shouted. "ATTACK!"

I could hear the sounds of men, clanking with metal charge near by.

"Will the smoke hurt Damien?" I asked Michael.

Michael slipped the egg over his shoulder, as if the cloth had become a sash. "Completely insulated remember?"

He held me sideways, and clicked the handle.

My barrel began spinning rapidly, fanning away some of the smoke.

Three Marines wearing goggles and holding swords were revealed to us.

Using me like a spinning mace, he whacked the men with my barrel, keeping a defensive stance to conserve movement.

It was a very tactical stance: One step could allow him to move to any side, dodging the enemy and allowing me to violently bludgeon him.

We made a really good team together.

He aimed in the clouds, looking through my scope.

"Locking on…"

I changed my view to the scope.

Through the smoke I could see infrared shapes of men.

Targets floated around the scope, lining up with the biggest concentration of men.

"_Target acquired…"_

The bazooka built up power: the glow cutting through the smoke.

"Mega…"

It reached mazimum charge.

"**BAZOOOOOOKA!**"

-**KABOOM**-

The blast blew away a good amount of the smoke, and scattering a large number of the Marines.

What what I could hear, the others were doing good too.

"TATSU…MAKIIII!"

-BWOOOSH-

"GUM GUUUUUM…GATLING!"

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

"AND…WHIIIIIP!"

-**BAAAAM**-

The whip would have clocked Michael, but he saw it coming.

He flipped, and my barrel smacked against the floor. He catapulted into the air from the force of the built up energy I had gotten from spinning so fast.

With that last attack, I could see a huge crowd of Marines getting pressed to the wall with Luffy's long stretchy leg.

Including Sanji and Zoro.

The tear gas fanned out completely, and a noticeable number of Marines had been dispatched.

Sanji and Zoro started fighting…for some reason.

Michael walked over to them, still holding me.

"Knock it off." He commanded.

They stopped, and looked around.

"Where'd Screaver go?" Zoro asked.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "You moron! He's right there!"

He pointed to me.

Zoro squinted his eyes at me, not recognizing my full weapon form.

Michael sat me down, and disappeared into his chibi form.

I went back to human form.

Zoro looked mildly surprised. "That's new…"

"Weapon form." I told him. "Michael here's my miser!"

Michael was still holding the egg in his tiny hands.

"FIRE!" Drake roared.

-KABOOM-

A net fired and entangled Luffy.

The force of it slammed him against the wall.

Luffy struggled inside of it.

The blue stones weaved into the net made me realize that it was sea stone.

"LUFFY!" Usopp shouted.

We all were about to go help him, but Drake barked, "STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!"

We froze.

"The wanted posters say _Dead or Alive_," he said, "but G-8 generally takes its prisoners alive."

I hoped he meant big busted chicks in bikinis…but I wasn't holding my breath.

Drake continued. "Nethertheless! If you continue to resist, I will not guarantee anything…"

Usopp whispered, "Luffy, can you get that net off…"

"No, it won't budge!" Luffy complained. "And I'm feeling weaker…"

"It's sea stone Usopp." I said. "It saps devil fruit user's strength."

"EXACTLY!" Drake sneered delightfully. "Those who possess the power of the Devil's Fruit will find that net…imprisoning. How do you like it, Straw Hat?"

He pointed at me. "And I'll have no more of that weapon shapeshifting, or I'll put you in one too!"

The rifle men advanced as we back up. I assumed we didn't have much time before they opened fire.

_Michael, can you do anything?_

_No!_ He exclaimed. _I don't have enough power to block all those bullets! I could if we were in battle form, but they would open fire the instant you start glowing. Besides, it wouldn't do us any good against all of them. Even if we could get to the boat…_

It seemed pretty hopeless at the moment.

"You have no choice but surrender." Drake said. "There is no hope of escape!"

The men drew their swords and cocked their rifles.

"All troops, prepare for attack!"

I put my fists up into defense, Michael grabbed my shoulder.

"ATTA…"

-BOOM-

"WHAT THE Heeeeelllll…"

Usopp was knocked into the sky by…a hospital stretcher.

I looked behind me to see…NAMI!

In a pretty pink nurse's outfit!

Eh. A bit too 1950's if you asked me…

And there was another woman…yay?

She had grayish purple hair, big glasses, and a doctor's coat on.

They had both wheeling in this stretcher with a body covered in a sheet on it.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" She yelled in fear, noticing all the armed Marines.

Sanji was enthralled.

Usopp fell to the ground, looking pretty badly bruised.

-BWOOSH-

The sheet exploded upward, and wrapped around a big furry body with a pink hat.

Chopper!

He was the guy hiding under the sheet.

Chopper held the broken Usopp and yelped.

"USOPP! What happened? These wounds look severe. Did the Marines do it? THOSE BASTAAARDS!"

"Um…no it wasn't…" Sanji and Zoro tried to tell him.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Drake roared at them.

Just then, the doctor lady took a huge breath.

"_**GUAAAAAAAAAAUAUAUAUAUAUAAAAA AAAAAH!**_"

She let loose…perhaps…the most ear deafening, brain splitting super sonic scream I had ever heard.

Even the Marines had to cup their ears.

Nami was about to yell at her **WTF**, but then the woman shouted, "WE'VE BEEN TAKEN HOSTAGE! PLEASE HELP US! HE THREATENED TO KILL US IF WE DIDN'T COME WITH HIM!"

She pointed to Chopper. "This big man is one of the PIRATES!"

Nami took that as a hint, and they both began to scream and whine like damsels in distress.

Sanji and Zoro muttered something, but my ears were still recovering from that scream.

"Screaver…" Michael whispered.

"WHAT?" I yelled over the ringing in my ears.

_This s what we needed. _Michael said. _With hostages, we can get away safely. Just play the part._

_Oh…yeah I remember! Gotcha._

Chopper got the clue, then grabbed the sheet like it was an EVIL cape. "THAT'S RIGHT! Crying babies are silent when I am near! I am the Straw Hat's most FEROCIOUS madman!"

He smashed his foot down, making the group rumble. Zoro and I clapped evilly.

"It my demands are not met, the hostages will FACE MY WRAAAATH! MOTHERFUCKER!"

I was…-sniff-…so proud…

He made a terrifying look (that is to say he was terrified) and demanded, "YEAH! Now hurry up and move aside so we may get though you lousy FUCKFACES!"

I was on the verge of tears.

_That boy's gonna grow up…so well…_

_Truly you should be in charge of a baby Pokémon._ Michael jeered.

"HURRY UP!" Chopper roared. "OR I'LL BREAK THESE PUNY WOMEN'S LITTLE NECKS!"

Zoro and I stepped in.

"He'll do it." Zoro said. "Even when one of _us_ pisses him off, he goes ballistic."

"I use to have a dog." I said. "But one day, when I accidently got in his way to the bathroom, HE ATE MY DOG JUST TO TEACH ME A LESSON!"

Zoro raised an eye at me. "One time, I tripped over his foot, and he took my swords and shoved them up my ass!"

I eyed him and smirked. "He's so evil, he bites the heads off of baby seals and uses the rest of them as slippers!"

We just kept going back and forth trying to outdo each other in terribleness, but then Chopper roared, "ENOOOOUUUUGH! NOW LET US PASS!"

"Would someone sworn to uphold justice let two beautiful women die?" Sanji asked Drake, the ladies furiously shaking their heads no.

That got to him.

Luffy was still drowsy and oblivious to the situation. "_Chopper, that's dirty. I'm disappointed in you…"_

"Would you shut up?" Nami whisper furiously.

Then Chopper let out a huge scream.

"**HOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH**!"

It was both ferocious and hilarious, due to his voice already sounding like a 12 year old girl's.

"HE'LL KILL UUUS!" The purple haired woman shriek in terror.

She did sound pretty convincing.

"Please do what he says!" Nami shriek, equally as terrified.

Drake was grunting and glaring at us in anger.

Nami and the doctor lady shriek in terror for good measure.

Then…Drake caved in.

"Everyone, drop your weapons, and move aside!" He ordered his men. "All sharpshooters, disarm your rifles!"

The men began to disarm and move.

Zoro walked over and split the net in half.

"Thanks Zoro…" Luffy said, shrugging off his fatigue.

In no time, the Marines cut a path straight to the ship.

"Michael, go to the ship." I ordered him. "Just to be sure they won't spring a trap on us."

Michael quickly floated across the path, the men glaring at him as he moved.

He made it across, dropped the egg down, and waved to us on the boat.

_Get the boat prepped for launch. I got a feeling we're gonna need the biggest head start we can get._

_Roger._ He agreed.

"As you can see, we've given you safe passage." Drake said. "Now release them."

"NO!" Chopper disagreed. "I won't release the hostage until we've escaped!"

Drake muttered something to his men, then continued to glare at us.

"Fine you dirty negotiator!" He shouted. "Hurry up and board your ship!"

I got to Nami. "Stay close." I whispered. "They plan on trying to sneak attack us, and grab both of you when our backs are turned."

She nodded slightly, and I pretended to grab her arm. "Let's go!"

She faked to be in pain, then muttered to me, "Watch it…"

I smirked as we made our way across.

Zoro was holding Luffy under his arm, Sanji was keeping close to the doctor lady, and Chopper was holding Usopp over his shoulder.

We were about half way there, when Zoro tensed.

"Nami, Chopper, Screaver, Perv-cook." Zoro said. "When I give the signal, run to the ship."

He looked to Luffy. "You can get us there by stretching your arms right?"

"_No_ problem." Luffy said weakly.

We kept walking, the ship was just in reach.

-CLATTER-

Everyone looked to the sudden noise.

"Oh, sorry. "A Marine said.

He had dropped his rifle.

"Wha…"

I turned around.

Two Marines we're behind us, one had grabbed the doctor and taken her through the crowd.

The other was about to put his FILTHY HANDS ON MEH GIRL!

-BAM-

"HANDS OOOOOOFF!"

"We have no choice!" Drake ordered. "ALL MEN ATTACK!"

All the men simultaneously drew their weapons and charged us.

Just when we were about to be instantly taken…

-BOOM-

The ship shook.

The Going Merry slit into the water, causing the entire Marine force to become distracted.

"EVERYONE! GO NOW!" Zoro shouted.

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

Luffy stretched his arm around us so hard, we sailed toward the ship like we had been catapulted.

We landed on the ship, mostly intact.

The sails instantly unfurled. The ropes were tying themselves down.

"Anyone ask for a quick getaway?" Michael asked triumphantly, standing on the railing.

The Marines shot at us, but they only hit the water near the boat. Water splashed on both sides.

Luffy was feeling pretty good about himself after that little act…

Something WE had to correct…

-WHACK- -BAM- -BOOM-

"Every freakin time…" Sanji grumbled.

"Be a little gentler with NORMAL people!" Nami ordered.

"MY FUCKIN FACE HURTS!" I roared.

"Look sharp everyone!" Nami ordered. "Get moving!"

Michael had done pretty much everything, but there was still much more to do.

Tie down this, prepare the cannon, stuff like that.

"Wait…" I said. "Where's…Robin?"

I didn't know if it was possible for me to care, but she was our crewmember…

"We'll find her eventually." Nami said. "Get to those cliffs to prevent them firing on us!"

I looked to the cliffs, and cursed. "Speak of the she-devil."

Robin swung in on some kind of rope: I imagined it was made out of her special arm things.

Robin threw Nami a rolled up paper.

A map to the entire stronghold.

Nami was overjoyed.

-KABOOM-

Cannons fired on us, splashing the water around us.

I guessed they had figured out our hostage was a fake.

There was only one way out: a single gate at the end of the lake.

But the doors were shut.

Nami ordered the cannon to be readied, but Usopp reported that we had no gunpowder nor cannons.

Robin suggested they had been confiscated when the ship had been taken in.

_Wait…this seems…oh boy…_

"Umm…guys…"

"It's ok, I got an idea." Luffy said.

-KABOOM-

About ten cannons fired on us.

"GUM GUUUUM…BALLOON!"

Luffy leaped into the air, inflated his belly, and caught all the cannonballs.

Then with one great jerk, he flung them at the gate.

-**KABOOM**-

The gate blew wide open.

"Guys…" I tried to say.

"AMAZING!" Usopp cheered.

"Now we can escape!" Nami said.

"GUYS!"

They stopped.

"Robin, what did you say about our cannon gear?"

She paused. "I said the Marines probably confiscated it."

I looked at Nami.

"_Confiscated. Stuff on board. Gold_."

The split second that she heard that word, her face went from happy to HOLY FUCKING CHRIST WHAT?

She ran into the gallery, and cried loudly.

"We…we've been had!" She cried.

"What?" Usopp asked.

"**THE TREASURE'S GONE!**"


	108. Chapter 108

Ok...Here's the REAL Ending to the G8

The REAL Great Escape

We we're just minutes away from leaving this horrible filler behind…

But…alas…Nami said otherwise.

"They stole all our gold!" She yelled.

The ship was engulfed in a smokescreen that was generated when Luffy destroyed the gate, so the following ships were having a hard time following us.

"But Nami…" Usopp said. "We've risked our lives just to get out of there!"

"NO!" She said. "What's the point of escaping if we leave all our gold behind?"

"But Nami!" Luffy said. "I can see the sea! We made a hole in the gate! Can't we…"

"Luffy." She said. "You're a pirate. Don't you think it's disgraceful to let them steal all our gold?"

Now, in any other situation, I was ready to leave.

But…that was a lot of gold we would be leaving behind.

Plus all our food and ammunition…yeah we needed to go back.

"Then it's settled then." She said. "Hard to starboard! Make a U-turn and head back into the stronghold!"

The ship turned right so hard, I was flung against the railing.

Nami kept her ear to the side, listening for something.

I could head the faint sound of…a bell.

"They're using bells to signal where they are in the smoke." She said.

One bell sounded really close, and straight ahead.

"Hard to port!" She ordered to Sanji and Copper, who we're in charge of the rudder.

The ship turned again, and the rest of us flew to the _other_ side.

The egg rolled quickly, and almost fell off the side.

I had to jump and duck under the railing to catch it.

"Sorry Damien." I chuckled. "Wait till you hatch before you go swimming again."

We dodged the giant Marine ship and dove back into the smokescreen.

But more bells were on their way.

A whole battalion of ships.

Nami ordered the two to shift the rudder to prepare to dodge the enemy ships.

We looped around to avoid detection.

"We need to get out of this smoke." Nami said.

"But if they see us, we'll get blown to Kingdom Come!" I said.

Robin brought up some interesting facts about the stronghold.

The G-8 used to have twice as many boats and men, but due to budget cuts they had to downsize. Many of the docks had been closed and were unused.

"Ok guys! We'll hide the Merry in a high dock!" Nami ordered.

* * *

By some dumb luck (and we've had plenty) we found an abandoned dock for us to hide out in for the time being.

Nami had changed out of the nurse uniform (to my displeasure) and we all met up in the galley.

"What are we going to do now Nami?" Usopp asked.

"It's not too late." Zoro suggested. "We should return to the sea gate and head for open water."

"Yeah." Usopp agreed. "These guys aren't messing around."

"Luffy," Chopper asked, "what do you think?"

He laid his head on the desk and groaned. "I want the goooold. But I'm hungry! Sanji! Feed me…"

Sanji got up. "I'll see what we have left and whip something up."

Nami was thinking, trying to convince us to go back for the gold.

"Are you guys _really_ ok with leaving the gold behind?"

Everyone nodded, except me.

"Hell no!"

They all looked at me.

"Oh here we go…" Zoro scoffed.

"See? Screaver's with me." Nami said.

"We worked hard to get that gold!" I said. "We fought a war! Waged battle against a giant snake and God himself. And yet we're gonna let a bunch of stupid ass pansies like _Marines_ get the better of us?"

No one said anything.

"Such a shame." Nami shrugged. "Because _pirates_ share the treasure equally…"

Everyone was on board after that.

"I'll get my bronze statue!" Luffy cheered.

"And books! Can I have new medical books?" Chopper asked curiously.

Sanji was already counting up all the expenses his kitchen supplies would cost on…some sort of device with sticks and wooden balls on them in a picture frame…

_Abacus._ Michael said slowly.

"I'd drink all the booze I want." Zoro said pleasantly.

"I'd…" I started.

But that was it: I had no clue what I would do with it.

_Eh. I'll figure it out when I'm taking a money bath._

"It's decided." Nami declared. "But first: 80% of it would be deducted to my savings…"

Everyone stopped. "**HOLD ON!**"

"Hold THE FUCK on if I may add!" I said.

"Just kidding!" She joked.

She leaned in closer. "But what if I said that instead of my savings, I meant money we'd keep in order to repair the Merry?"

That softened us up.

"The Going Merry has brought us a long way right?" She said.

"We'd been sailing together since we left my village in the East Blue." Usopp said.

I remembered it fondly.

Seeing that ship for the first time, back in the days when I first came to One Piece.

Seeing that ship…made everything real.

"This ship carries our memories, and so much more." She said.

"We sailed over Reverse Mountain and into the Grand Line." Zoro recalled.

"Where we got eaten by a giant whale." I followed up with.

"Then we went to Sky Island." Sanji added.

"I risked my life to save this ship once!" Chopper said eagerly.

"And then someone fixed the ship up." Usopp said.

Everyone gave him a funny look.

"That was Screaver, remember?" Zoro said.

I gave a humbled look, even though I knew the truth about the Klabobblehead…Klablabbermouth…spirit of Merry.

"Come to think of it, she's really done a lot for us!" Luffy said.

"She's always been there for us, but she's getting pretty beat up." Nami explained.

I remember all the times we've had with this little boat.

East Blue, Reverse Mountain, Little Garden, Drum Kingdom, Arabasta, the Knock-Up Stream, Sky Island and back again.

This boat…I really had grown an attachment to this boat.

Sanji came up to us with all the food he could find in the fridge. Apparently, the Marine's weren't fridge raiders. Must've been like their 456th stupid code or something.

I helped myself to some seafood hot dogs and a sandwich slice.

During the meal, we talked about how the ship needed professional repairs made by a professional shipwright.

It was then that Luffy stood up. "It's decided then! We're going to find a shipwright for our crew!"

We nodded in agreement.

He sat back down. "And a musician."

I looked at him, he didn't seem to regard me.

_Well, that's good I guess._

"Well, first we need to find the gold. Anyone know where it may be?" Nami asked.

"My guess it's in a vault somewhere." Sanji said.

I froze.

"Screaver?" Michael asked me.

I stood up. "I know where it is."

Everyone was alert.

"I…I think I saw it actually."

-BAM-

"You mean you KNEW they had are gold and you didn't bother to tell us?" Nami grumbled.

"I didn't know it was ours, and it was covered!" I said.

I stopped and nodded. "It's in the Commander's private room, covered by a blanket."

I sat back down. "I know his type: he expects us to go to the vault to get it. But he didn't put it there. He's keeping personal guard over it. Right in the heart of the base, but in plain sight, it's the one place we wouldn't ever think to look."

Robin regarded this. "He's probably setting defenses to this area."

The map had been posted on the wall. She pointed to a big room on the farthest cliff in the base.

"It's a reinforced building that requires several keys to open. It seems like the base's most secure area for a vault."

"OH! Robin is so smart!" Sanji cheered.

I got up and pointed to the private room. "Here's where it'll be. But now the question is, how do we go about this? Do we spring his trap to avoid a counter, or go straight for the gold?"

Everyone was in agreement. "STRAIGHT FOR IT!"

I smiled and nodded. "HELL YEAH! Fuck all that other bullshit, too much work anyways!"

"But, if we leave the Merry here, they'll find it for sure." Usopp worried.

Luffy sat down his tea cup. "Hide a tree in a forest! Hide a ship with more ships!"

Everyone just looked down in sadness.

"Great…"

"This dock was originally used to build and repair other ships." Robin said. "I think I saw plenty of building materials still about when we came in."

Usopp got an idea.

We'd use the materials to disguise the ship as a Marine vessel.

It didn't have to be perfect: just good enough not to be distinguishable at night.

We all agreed, and got to work.

* * *

Honestly, I had no idea how we got it all done in less than a day.

The ship was basically a hollow cutout with the Merry inside, but the cutout was huge!

And it was all painted, and smoothed, and even had a perfect set of wooden sails with the little insignia on them.

I painted that myself!

It didn't look perfect, but it was good enough.

_A C- Grade if I say so myself._

"Alright guys, it's time to retrieve our gold!" Nami ordered. "Everyone, we move at midnight!"

Before we set out, Usopp got us together to make a plan.

We had three objectives:

Get the Gold.

Distract the Marines for the _Get Gold_ Team.

Retrieve the Waver that Nami hid so the Marines wouldn't confiscate it.

Also we needed someone to stay behind to guard the ship and get it ready for our escape.

The teams we're:

Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Robin and Usopp to distract the Marines.

Chopper would stay behind for the ship.

"Hold on." Michael said. "I'll stay with Chopper."

"YOU WILL?" Chopper said gratefully.

"You sure?" I asked him.

He nodded. "I'll stay and keep an eye on things. The egg included."

I nodded in agreement.

"For the retrieval team, Nami and…"

He eyed Sanji, then eyed me murderously glaring at him.

"…Screaver."

Sanji was outraged.

"But what will we take?" I asked.

* * *

…Well…this isn't what I had expected.

Usopp fixed up a discarded Marine Lifeboat for our mode of transport.

I was rowing Nami…

It was a quiet trip.

The base was alit with search lights. Ships we're patrolling the waters, but we were managing to fall under their radar.

"So…" I said.

She looked at me. "What?"

"Nothing."

It didn't really feel that special: we were in a old lifeboat on a mission through a dangerous military base.

Not exactly romantic novel level stuff there.

"You shaved." She said.

I nodded. "Thought it helped with my Marine disguise."

She nodded.

Then she looked at my face again.

"You know…I kinda liked it."

I shrugged. "Women."

"What?"

"You want this, then you don't want it…nevermind."

She looked down. We'll, _sorry..._"

I paddled faster.

* * *

Nami led me to a cove that led straight up to a patch of tall grass.

Nami dug though the grass, and sure enough the waver was there.

She cleared the grass, revved the engine (or whatever) and waited.

"Well? Get on. And hold on tight."

"Oh…"

I stood there for another few seconds.

She rolled her eyes. "Come on!"

I reacted instantly.

I grabbed her waist and it zoomed off.

The waver ran just like a jet ski.

It was noisy, bouncy, not the least bit smooth…

But getting to be that close to Nami…made it all worth it.

Though I'll admit…her hair didn't smell that great.

Not like in those novels where they're like "her hair was the smell of tulips" or "she smelt of honeycomb" or something fruity like that.

It was like a…sour earthy smell.

I didn't say a word.

The base was starting to get riled up. I'm guessing the diversion team was doing a good job.

Ducking in and out of ships, keeping to the cliffs, we made it back to the abandoned dock.

I jumped off.

Nami revved the engine. "I'm going to find the others. Get the ship ready to leave."

I nodded.

And just like that, she sped off.

I sighed.

Michael appeared next to me.

"What's the matter buddy?"

I scratched my head. "It's just that…all of this seems a bit…rushed don'tcha think?"

He shrugged. "Hey. The sooner we get out of here, the better."

I stayed on the ship with Chopper.

He was grinding some medicine plants in his mortar, and I was pacing with my egg.

He would eye me a few times, but didn't say anything.

Then, he couldn't help it anymore.

"Can I see it?" He asked curiously.

I sighed, unwrapped the egg, and presented it to him.

I wrapped the cloth into a sort of stand for the egg and he got his doctor's bag.

He pulled out his stethoscope and started listening to it.

"What kinda bird is it?" He asked me.

I shrugged. "Who knows if it's a bird? All Pokémon come out of eggs."

He paused. "Pok-E-mon?"

I sighed. "Well, it's kinda hard to explain. You see…Pokemon are these…ok let's start from the beginning…"

I did my best to try and explain the physics and concept of Pokemon.

How they bonded through battle, how they all came out of eggs even though a lot of them are mammal-like...

Honestly, it was all a little far-fetched.

Ha…Farfetch'd.

But Chopper stared at me with wide eyed merriment.

Chopper examined the egg some more. "Well, it's exciting. Bringing a new baby into the world. And you say that they will hatch depending on how much you walk with it?"

"Pretty much."

He frowned. "That doesn't make sense. I learned that eggs need to be kept warm and incubated in order to hatch."

"Could be. I honestly have no idea."

"EEEEH?"

He covered the egg in the blanket. "We have to keep the egg warm!"

He picked it up and started to go inside.

"Wait up! What do you think you're doing with my egg?"

He looked at me with determination. "I'm going to make sure this egg hatches! Do you want to risk hurting the baby?"

I shook my head.

"It'll be safer inside. I'll ask Usopp to help me construct an incubator. But it needs to stay inside, alright?"

"But Chopper…"

"ALRIGHT?"

"Jeez. Ok."

-BEOOOOOOO-

The alarms we're going off.

"That's our cue." I told him.

Michael appeared. "Let's get the ship ready."

* * *

The ship pulled out of the dock area, where we found the rest of the crew waiting for us.

Everyone got aboard, and Chopper was asking them how the mission went.

"Where's Luffy? And Nami?"

"They went to go get the gold from the Commander." Zoro said.

Sanji was glaring at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Honestly Sanji, it wasn't that great."

He didn't stop glaring.

-VROOM-

The waver powered up to us.

Luffy and Nami hauled up the waver, and our huge sack of treasure.

"Nami dear!" Sanji called out. "Are you alright?"

"Let's hurry you guys!" Luffy shouted.

"AYE!"

Our ship was gaining speed.

Being just a hollow cutout, it was a lot faster than all the real ships with iron and _real_ wood.

We came up across another ship, and decided to lift the disguise.

-BOOM-

With one punch, Luffy demolished the case.

"ALRIGHT!" He cheered. "LET'S GOOOO!"

We sailed right past the ship at full speed and over took them.

In fact, the remains of our disguise…

-SMASH-

…crashed right into the Marine cruiser.

"Alright! Let's set sail! This time we're getting out of here!" Luffy cheered.

"We've got our gold back!" Usopp cheered.

We sailed toward the giant gaping hole in their defenses.

I was ready to get going. Back out to sea.

But something was wrong…

Nami knew it.

All the ships that were chasing us rolled up their sails and stopped.

They were planning something…

I climbed into my crow's nest.

The water…

We we're being pulled.

The water's current was building.

Nami was freaking out.

_What's going on?_

_The layout of this stronghold._ Michael informed me. _The water naturally pours in and out with the tide of the sea. However, the gates can control if the water goes out or not._

_But we destroyed them…_

_Exactly. _Michael said. _Which means there's nothing to stop the water from going out and putting us on solid land._

_Shit!_

Also, as luck would have it, under the water was a huge series of jagged rocks.

-BOOM- -BOOM-

We were being dragged across a field of spikes.

"Hold on!"

-THUD-

The ship stopped.

"There's holes in the ship's hull!" Usopp shouted.

I jumped down and ran inside.

"We need to stop it!" Chopper screamed.

"Shit! That's a big hole!" Sanji cursed.

Water was blasting into the ship.

And then, it just…stopped.

"What?"

We looked out of the giant hole in the ground.

The water had all dried up.

We struck aground.

Luffy was floundering around in the dried sea bed, screaming "I'm drowning! I'm drowning!"

He then stopped, and said, "Somebody help me! I'M HUNGRY!"

"Of all the…"

We were ready to whomp on him, when Usopp paused.

He retrieved something out of his bag and stared at it.

It was…a glove.

The dial glove I found on that ship: it looked cleaner than before. And it had new rivets punched in it's frame.

"Where did you find that?"

He jumped. "Oh, sorry Screaver. I found this back on Skypiea. It looked like the one you had, but I wasn't really sure."

A pink dial was placed in the frame.

"Keep it." I told him. "Don't have much use for it."

"HEY!" Luffy shouted out. "Let's get something to eat!"

We were already fed up with his hunger, but it got worse.

About fifty searchlights shined on us in the dried seabed.

-**CHCHCHCHCHK**-

And that was the sound of EVERY cannon and mortar in the base trailing on our location.

Completely surrounded, and trapped.

"**Attention Straw Hat Luffy and crew!**" The commander's voice boomed over a powerful loud speaker. "**Even among the Marines, this is the greatest stronghold under the G-8 Division!**"

_Well the G-8 can go have a V8 and kiss my ass._ I wanted to yell back.

"**I congratulate you all for fighting so well.**" He said. "**You possess admirable conviction and are worthy advisories, but I'm afraid this is checkmate!** **Strawhats, I think you understand…you do not have even a glimmer of hope of escaping!**"

_Well how about I shove your head where the sun don't shine and rip a glimmer out of your ass crack._ I thought back cunningly.

"**I have already anticipated any action you might take.**" He said with a hint of pride.

_You anticipate me sticking a foot up your ass then?_ I though back.

Luffy pressed his hat down.

"**Smart lad.**" The commander said, as if that gesture was a sign of surrender. "**The Navarone Stronghold is a well established base. Strawhats, we offer you a respectful proposition.**"

_Well how about I…something something I'm gonna shove a foot up your ass. _I mentally replied, ever so wittingly.

"**Give yourselves up **_**peacefully.**_" He finished.

Luffy just smiled smugishly.

"**Straw Hat!**" He implored. "**You and Roronoa Zoro and Bazooka Bartel are all wanted criminals, so we MUST turn you over to Headquarters!** **I give you my word that the rest of your crew will NOT be harmed!**"

_Well…maybe not so much for Robin but…we'll keep that a secret._

"**However…if you do try and escape…**"

He tone changed into one of a playful little brat. "**I might get angry!**"

"Good to know." I said.

We met back up on the ship.

Usopp had the plan.

"Alright!" He said with conviction. "Here's the answer!"

He raised his weapon high. "IMPACT GLOOOOOVE!"

He held up the impact glove. "I managed to absorb a lot of attacks while we were making our escape though the base. We may be able to lift off the ground with it!"

"I see." Nami said. "We can use that to get out to open sea!"

But it would require more than just the impact.

Zoro suggested if we inflated the balloon octopus (using breath and head dials) that would give us the extra lift to escape.

But we didn't have the octopus.

…

Scratch that.

Luffy did.

The whole time.

In his pants.

Terrific.

"Did it feel weird down there?" Sanji asked.

Luffy looked at him. "Down where?"

That made Robin laugh.

He nodded, and took the role of launching the impact dial.

Much to everyone's surprise.

"YEAH!" He said, flexing muscles he didn't have. "The manly amazing Usopp will save the ship! I don't need your help to push a button…"

I shrugged. "It's the glove. It absorbs any negative force behind it. It's like a impact dial for weaklings."

"Well that explains it." Zoro said unsurprised at Usopp.

He didn't seem so psyched after that.

We got into our positions.

I was up top in the nest, securing the sails so we didn't go ripping them in the blast off.

Nami and Robin prepped the octopus, and all the other guys were down bellow coaxing Usopp.

"3!" They shouted.

_Hold on to your hat Michael._

_I'm hiding inside right now._ He said.

"2!"

_What? Come on, the sensation feels great._

_No thanks._ He politely declined. _It's not that special…_

"1! **IMPACT!**"

-BOOM-

We took off like a rocket.

I gripped onto the edge of the crow's nest trying not to be flung out.

We soared across the dry lake bed, moving upward slightly.

But as soon as we started ascending, we began falling just as fast.

"WE'RE SINKING!" Chopper shrieked. "WE'RE FALLING!"

"CIEN FLEUR!" Robin shouted.

Dozens of hands made several long grabbers, each coming from the bottom of the boat.

Each grabber took an octopus tentacle and stretched them across.

Nami then used the dial to shoot new air into the octopus.

It puffed up just a fast as Luffy would.

Luffy then came from bellow with the flame dial.

"INFLATE!"

-BOOM-

The sudden increase in volume in the poor octopus was astounding.

We floated above the shallow water.

The octopus' head was poking me in the face like I fell face first on a bounce house.

We needed one more push.

"USOPP! DO IT!"

"**3! 2! 1! FLYYYYYY!**"

-BOOM-

It worked!

We shot forward as the octopus wrapped around our boat, carrying us like a hot air balloon.

"IT WORKED!" Luffy cheered. "FLY OCTOPUS, FLY!"

We sailed right past a bunch of astounded Marines, and began to head out to open sea.

We began to cheer and dance in our luck.

"We did it! We did it!"

I jumped on deck to do my VICTORY dance.

Which is just me, spinning in a circle, wagging one finger up in the air and the other hand on my hip.

Nothing went wrong.

Well…it almost did.

-KABOOM-

An explosion rang out in the base.

A giant rocket spiraled toward our boat.

I didn't have time to register it, but the rocket wasn't really aiming at us…

It made a crazy zig-zag trail, and hit a cliff.

Which caused an avalanche on top of a cannon that was aimed DIRECTLY at us.

"What luck!"

Lady Luck, Goddess Fortuna, or whatever be praised.

We topped the cliff, and there it was.

The beautiful, bright blue ocean.

I leaned over the side and inhaled the salty air.

I hadn't realized that this was the first time I really saw the ocean since we had left Skypiea.

This ocean, this one ocean that coated this strange yet fantastical world was my home.

Everyone else stared at the sun rise in awe.

Even Michael poofed onto my head to get a better view.

"Now…ain't that something?" I asked him.

"I stand corrected." He agreed.

Then with one hand, I flicked him with two fingers.

"HEY!" He protested.

"Don't jump on top my head…you are reserved to the LEFT shoulder only on this guy."

He grumbled as he took his seat.

The crew looked back at the shrinking base.

"Wow!" Luffy said. "It DOES look like a hedgehog!"

"COOL!" Chopper agreed.

"BYE BYEEEE! OLD BASE GUY!" Luffy waved.

"ADIEU! JESSICAAAA!" Sanji shouted back lovingly.

I guess he meant the big breasted blonde lady in the kitchen.

Who knows? They may have made a cute couple…

"How long are we gonna fly?" Luffy asked.

"I don't know." Zoro said, starting to doze off. "Ask the octopus."

"It's nice to enjoy a trip through the sky." Robin said.

I scoffed. "Hopefully, it'll be the last. I've had enough of flying. Every time we just land in shit."

Nami sighed. "I just don't wanna see another Marine base ever again."

"ANYWHERE WITH NAMI AND ROBIN IS HEAVEN TO ME!" Sanji shouted eagerly.

"It's cuz you're a dumbass." Zoro said.

"Eh?" Sanji grunted angrily.

"You're a _dumbass_." Zoro repeated.

"EH?" He grunted louder.

"Shut up both of you!" I interrupted.

**EH**?" Sanji grunted, now aimed at me.

I whirled up my fist.

This marked the end to the Skypiea chapter. The filler was gone, and would become yet another memory in the back of my head.

Things were gonna get real: I had a lot in store for me.

Two more crewmembers were missing; I had a baby Damien egg waiting to hatch, and probably more anomaly surprises in store for me.

But hey? If you can't take time out of your busy schedule to start pointless flights with your crew…

…well that's not living in my tale.

"BRING IT SWIRRLY!" I roared.

"I'm gonna grind you into paste!" He shouted.

"I'll go fix the hole." Usopp said wearily.

"HEY SANJI!" Luffy ordered. "I'M HUNGRY!"

_Typical day for the Strawhat pirates._

* * *

**Ok, serious time now.**

**My schedule for the next few months is going to be irratic. The whole once every two weeks thing...really isn't working out for me.**

**I'm trying to get once every two weeks, but there isn't much I can do. ****Sorry guys.**

**Also, the next arc...is going to be...ORIGINAL CONTENT FILLER!**

**MUHAHAHAHAAA!**

**-AHEM- Sorry. It'll be good, I swear.**


	109. Chapter 109

**I'm baaaaaaaaack...**

* * *

Back On The Big Blue Sea

An Anomaly Makes a Detour?

Things were going smoothly.

A few hours had passed since we escaped the Marine base. The octopus had straightened out. We we're at a good cruising speed.

Usopp constructed a stand where the flame dial kept the octopus inflated, which looked SO much like a hot air balloon that it was distracting.

Usopp had _also_ constructed an egg incubator, with Chopper's guidance.

It had metal framing, glass walls, a tempered plate as a top, and a head dial place at the bottom that served as the warmth for the egg.

I didn't know how he did it, but I was so grateful that he made it portable that I gave him a bear hug.

He walked off nervously and went to go repair the holes in the deck.

Everyone was relaxing: Sanji made us all dinner from the recovered supplies.

I was sitting in Chopper's room, staring at the egg.

I could just imagine the taunting message that popped up when you checked the egg: _Wonder what's inside? It needs more time though._

-BOOM-

The ship lunged forward. The incubator trembled and almost slid off the table.

"Looks like we're about to…"

-BOOM-

The ship jerked forward, the floor whammed beneath me.

We had to have hit water.

I decided to head up to the deck.

Chopper was treating the octopus for burns under his tentacles.

Everyone gave the octopus a huge thanks, and it looked at us cheerfully.

Then it hopped up, leaped into the sea, and gave us a last good bye before diving into the ocean.

"Well guys! It's time for our next adventure!" Luffy cheered.

Usopp groaned. "Come on Luffy! We just _had_ an adventure! Can we have a rest first?"

"If this sea would allow that," Nami said, "then _anyone_ would be able to sail on it."

By _next adventure_, I don't think Luffy meant a hurricane.

* * *

We had been sailing not 10 minutes before clouds swirled directly over us.

Nami was awe struck. "How? There was no…"

-CRACKLE-

Thunder roared above us.

A terrible thought dawned on me.

_You think Gabriel has anything to do with this?_

_Possibly…_ Michael said.

More thunder.

Nami quickly barked orders at everyone.

"Secure those sails! Tie down the cannon bellow! Chopper, turn this boat port side NOW!"

Chopper grabbed the rudder as the rest of us hurried to our tasks.

"The sails!" Nami shrieked. "Hurry and secure the sails!"

That's when the rain poured down like hail.

It was like someone was shooting our boat with a giant garden hose on soaker mode.

The water churned around us like a washing machine.

"I can't hold the rudder steady!" Chopper yelled.

I released the rope I was about to tie down when I saw Chopper get flung over from the strength of the water.

Wind blew hard like we were in a hurricane. What was even stranger was that when the wind blew one way, the water pulled us the other way.

I ran inside and grabbed the rudder pole with him.

"On three, push. I pull!"

He nodded.

"THREE!"

We both heaved as we struggled to turn the pole.

Outside, the waves were about the size of roller coaster hills, forcing the ship to bob up and down.

Then I heard the terrible sound.

-RRRRRRIP-

"GAH!" Nami shrieked.

"The sail's are ripping!" Usopp cried.

"Somebody tie that down!" Nami shouted.

"How can the sails rip so easily?" Sanji shouted back in disbelief.

I was getting madder by the minute.

He was sore about me foiling his plan for cosmos domination, and now he was playing God again.

I wish I had another weather ball to shoot at the sky; maybe break the storm clouds in half.

At the cost of my other arm.

We had to pull through it.

"Hurry! Pull to port!" Nami shouted back, soaking in rain water. "There's a slight calm in the waves there where we can pull out!"

We nodded.

We yanked the rudder more, and I could feel the ship struggle to turn.

"The sails!" Usopp wailed again.

"Don't give up!" Nami screamed.

_Michael! DO SOMETHING!_

The ship began to settle out.

Outside I could hear a monstrous roar.

We we're rising out of the sea: our ship had landed on something.

"_LET'S GOOOO!_" Michael's voice roared.

I ran outside and looked down.

A giant gray whale had picked up our ship on its head and was carrying us out of the storm.

"MICHAEL?" I screamed in disbelief.

"_ROOOOOAR!_" He roared back.

"HOLY SHIT!" Sanji screamed in disbelief.

Usopp and Nami we're about ready to pass out in fear.

Zoro almost reached for his swords, but he stopped when he realized it was a friend.

Luffy was ecstatic. "YOU CAN TURN INTO A WHALE! COOOOOOL!"

"_ROOOOOOAR!"_ Michael responded.

* * *

In just a short while, Michael carried us right out of the storm.

The gray clouds parted, the rain stopped, and the sun returned into the sky.

The ship sunk back into the water, and Michael poofed back onto my shoulder.

He was panting; the same way you would do after carrying a huge load. "Let's…not do that again."

I held him up in reverence. "OUR SAVIOR!"

Luffy joined me in cheering. "**SO COOL! SO COOL!**"

"What the hell was that?" Sanji said wearily.

"That storm…" Nami kept repeating.

"It's just like you said right?" Usopp said trembling. "I wanna nap."

We we're all soaking wet. The sun began to warm and dry us, but that would take a while.

What was even worse was the sails: they we're in disarray.

Two big rips spanned the middle of the square sail, while little ones we're focused around where the ropes fastened it.

The lateen sail looked ok enough, but it was hard to tell without examining it.

Usopp looked at the sails in sheer grief. "Oh Merry…the main sail is ruined."

"Don't we have an extra?" I asked.

He shook his head.

"That whole storm was just a complete mystery." Robin said.

Nami cursed. "We'll need a new main sail, that's for sure."

She looked down at her log pose. "The next island is far off. I have no idea how far it is."

"Relax guys." Luffy said.

Everyone just stared at him.

"We'll get the sail fixed. But first…that storm made me hungry."

_Ugh…_

"I'll get started on lunch." Sanji said, wringing off his jacket and heading inside.

Usopp went down bellow and got the pair of giant oars.

"Hey Zoro, Screaver…"

Zoro just rolled his eyes and took the big paddle.

I just gawked at him. "NAH UAH!"

"Unless YOU want to take down the sails!" He said.

I grumbled as I accepted my new job.

* * *

Well, after an hour of rowing, I was ready for lunch.

Sanji had cooked up a great smelling meal.

Everyone didn't really seem shaken by that last freak storm, all except Nami of course.

Normally she can predict the weather. But Gabriel must have pulled such a fast one on us that even _she_ couldn't see it coming.

I patted her back as she ate her shrimp gumbo. "Relax. It wasn't your fault. We just got back to open sea."

She shook her head. "Good navigators don't _get_ rusty."

"No. But only the _best_ navigators have mistakes."

It was encouraging, in the stupid way.

She just rolled her eyes at me.

"Anyone have any suggestions for the sail issue?" I said.

"We have to get it replaced. We won't be getting far on just the backup sail and man power." Usopp said.

"Not to mention Marines!" Chopper said in a worry. "We won't be able to out run them without it!"

"I'll fight ANY Marine that tries to grab Nami or Robin!" Sanji called back, handing out desert.

"SANJI! I want some!" Luffy cried.

"Or Michael could just pull us whale style." Usopp said.

Michael was happily munching on a biscuit about half the size of his body, spreading butter on it with a knife as tall as he was.

"I can't maintain whale form for too long, and after something like that I'll need time to rest." He said.

"Did you eat a…" Luffy started to ask.

"_Did ya eata devl fruat?_" I mocked him. "No. He's magic."

"Whoa! Magic?" He asked.

Michael shrugged. "I can do little things like that. Alter my form and whatnot."

Chopper gasped. "Whoa. Can you turn into a…"

"Eh eh eh." I stopped him. "Let the guy take a break ok Chopper?"

I really didn't want people questioning Michael's powers; it'd get too confusing.

"We can't rely on that in case we need to hurry." Nami said. "We need to get the sail fixed."

"If we find any other islands, we have to make a detour." Usopp said. "We'll just leave the log pose on the ship so we don't mess up the magnetic field."

Nami nodded. "That should work, at least for a dire situation like this."

I got up, finishing my food. "Well, time to go do my job."

"What job?" Nami asked.

I smirked. "I'm the lookout remember?"

Yeah, and a shitty one at that.

I had the tools; my scope eyesight could scan long distances and had about 10 different modes.

The problem was there was NOTHING to see.

Sanji and Zoro had been demoted to paddle duty, but they we're getting tired. Tired of paddling.

But something odd seemed to be happening with the water.

Either the water was getting bluer, or the sun was getting yellower.

Turns out, it was both.

The water was becoming a beautiful shade of blue, but not instantly. But it looked much nicer than the ocean normally looked.

The sun also seemed to get warmer. And everything the light touched was showered in the sun's golden rays.

Finally, I spotted something.

A boat.

It was a small fishing boat: brown, white single sail, with nets casted into the water.

"AHOY!" I shouted. "Ship dead ahead!"

"Is it Marines?" Usopp asked.

"No, just some civilian boat." I said. "Let's ask him for directions to the nearest island!"

"You really think a normal fisherman would just agree to help a band of pirates?" Nami asked sarcastically.

I jumped down to the deck. "You got a better idea."

The fisherman on the other boat spotted us before we got to him.

He waved out to us in a friendly manner.

"See? He doesn't seem to be afraid of pirates." Is said to Nami.

"Let's just see what he wants." Sanji said.

We sailed right next to the simple boat.

The man on board the other ship looked like a stereotypical old Asian: about five feet tall, balding black hair that stuck up like Kramer, a Fu Manchu completed with a long braded beard, stumpy muscular arms, a deep tan, and a smile with several golden teeth.

That was the weird part. He had at least three golden teeth in his smile.

He wore a simple silk shirt and beach shorts. He had one leg resting on his ship's railing, and he was wearing sandals.

"Ho there!" He said, raising an arm.

Luffy jumped close to him. "Hey old man! We're looking for food! And sails!"

Nami smacked him upside the head. "What he's trying to say is, we got caught in a storm…"

"Indeed!" He said. "Terrible storm that one! Almost sunk my Beauty right here!"

He patted the railing.

"Well, our sails we're badly damaged. We need to know where the nearest island is so we can get them repaired."

"And stock up on supplies." Sanji mentioned.

The old man beamed. "You mean you don't know where you are?"

No one answered.

"Well, you're about half a mile away from the most famous resort island in the Grand Line! _Tira de Arena!_"

Nami gasped. "We're…we close to…_Tira de Arena_?"

Usopp nodded his head. "I've heard of that place, back on my home island."

Sanji seemed also surprised. "Some of the chefs we're from _Tira de Arena_ back on the Baratie."

"It's a very well known resort area." Robin said. "Completely friendly to pirates, and supplies over hundreds of stores, markets, housing, and clubs."

"Oh, so cool!" Luffy said.

I froze.

_What…Tira de Arena…the hell is an arena tiara?_

An anomaly.

_Michael…how big can anomalies get?_

…_Well…apparently as big as a well known island._ He said.

"Tell you what." The old man said. "You all seem like a nice bunch. I'll lead you there myself. And I'll have a buddy of mine take a look at those sails for you."

"Are there any ship wrights who live on the island?" Luffy asked curiously.

_NO!_

"Afraid not." The old guy said. "We get most of our products imported from other areas. People and pirates pay for the nice views and exotic location."

_Whew…_

He pulled in his net, and brushed his hands. "Now, let's hurry on!"

* * *

The man's name was Hijako if you we're wondering.

Other than that, we didn't know much about him.

As we followed, I could see an island in the distance.

"Will the island's magnetic force disrupt our log pose?" Nami shouted to Hijako.

"Not a bit!" He said. "You see, the island itself isn't really an island. Some people say that the island was formed from God taking a scope of his magic sand and pouring it into one spot out of the ocean. If you belief that sort of thing. But no, the island has no magnetic properties, making it an attraction for weary pirates."

"What about the Marines?" Sanji asked. "Do they hassle you?"

"They hassle us about as much as they hassle Jaya; we're not in their jurisdiction and we're gonna keep it that way!" The old man shouted.

Sure enough, the island appeared in the distance to be a long golden beach that pointed off and continued on the other side.

I flipped on my scope.

_Top down mode._

This mode was really cool.

It was like I could get a bird's eye view of any area I had previously locked on to.

The island was average side, the shape was what was amazing.

Imagine a long narrow sand dune was put in the ocean, add some land, and have roughly the population of Chicago build on top of it.

That was _Tira de Arena._

The beaches we're full of sun bathing people and beach goers: beyond the beaches we're a string of market places.

Buildings we're built and stacked on top of each other like some kid wanted to fit more room in his Lego world.

I could see buildings several stories high, each with a multitude of different colored tiled roofs.

It was like the land of Galveston, but smash Little Italy on top of it mixed with San Francisco's bay area.

Even that wasn't a perfect description about the place.

It was so developed, so built to last it seemed like it had been like that for generations.

Some buildings were built atop tall metal beams, so more smaller houses could fit under its shadow.

People of all types were either visiting or _lived_ in this crazy place.

It was like a sci-fi city devolved into old Rome and kept some of the good things to it.

I also realized that the name, Tira de Arena, was Spanish for "Strip of Sand."

_Yeah, cause every anomaly has to have a pun in its name._

Everyone else was just amazed by the city's cramped yet comfy beauty.

"It's so big." Zoro said.

"You could find _anything_ in this place." Usopp said.

"My goodness." Robin gasped.

"So many beautiful beaches. With beautiful babes!" Sanji cheered.

"I smell food…" Luffy drooled.

"SO exciting!" Chopper exclaimed.

"This is exactly what we needed after a day like yesterday." Nami said.

"Unbe-fuckin-levable."

Hijako smiled. "Allow me to welcome you all to _Tira de Arena:_ let your wildest desires come true."


	110. Chapter 110

**So here's the deal my fine readers...**

**New chapters will come up on average one every two weeks. On average. Sometimes, something might come up where I'm free and can post it the next week, but for a normal chapter they'll come every two weeks.**

**Plus, two weeks makes the chapters longer.**

**So, here ya go...**

* * *

A Vacation In Paradise

Dates, Visitors and the Grand Contest?

We were just blown away by the sheer magnitude of this place.

"We pulled into a well maintained dock right next to Hijako's fishing boat.

Hijako waved his hand to us. "Give me a few minutes and I'll meet you on the dock. Then I'll take you to my boating buddy."

We came together to discuss a plan.

One team had to go with Hijako to get the sail fixed, but the rest of us we're able to go and explore the island.

"We need to get supplies." Nami said. "And be cautious. Despite what Hijako said, you remember how well the _last_ pirate city we went to turned out."

Luffy, Nami, Usopp and I would go with Hijako.

We disembarked as the old man hopped off his boat.

"I take it it's yer first time in our humble little town." He said.

"Humble?" Nami said.

He laughed. "A joke, a joke. Come; let me be your guide."

* * *

The beaches were absolutely amazing.

Towering palm trees, volley ball nets, and hundreds of bikini clad women.

Sanji was going to have a field day with this place. In a good way.

Everyone was smiling and laughing as they went about their business. Tourists if I ever saw them. They wore flowery shirts and carried different bags of different shops.

Hijako led us down a huge street that was pressed between two towering buildings near the center of the island.

The street was jam packed with vendors on both sides; selling everything from fresh fruits to exotic curios.

Luffy and Usopp were gasping in delight as we past row after row. Some were serving fresh deep fried shish kebabs with the largest shrimp I'd ever seen. Others were giving out beads like it was Marti Gras or something.

Oh, if only Nami would…nah, I'm 95% sure she wouldn't take her top off for _beads…_

Dozens of other people were shopping and browsing, as each vendor shouted assorted advertisements to encourage people to buy their stuff.

"BRUSHES FOR SALE!" One screamed.

"FRESH BLURBLE BERRIES! PICKED JUST THIS MORNING!" Another shouted.

_Hmm…_ Michael said, not sounding too pleased.

_Dude, I get it's an anomaly. But this doesn't have to be a bad thing!_

_I know, it's not that._ He said. _I…nah._

_What?_

_Nothing. I keep thinking I…sense something._

_Is it Gabriel? –gasp- Don't tell me this is his doing!_

_No no, he's not masked anymore._ Michael said._ He's not on this island. But…something…nope, it's nothing. I'm just being paranoid._

"Despite this island being rather small," Hijako said as he led us, "we have about 10,000 people living on this island."

"How do you all maintain a population this big?" Nami asked.

"Oh we have perhaps the largest amount of trading agreements with hundreds of companies. We perhaps take in the greatest amount of money from our visitors."

"So cool!" Luffy said, looking all around.

"These buildings are huge!" Usopp said.

I walked with Nami, Michael was sitting on my shoulder.

"We have hundreds of restaurants and night clubs; perhaps the most popular and most prestigious is The Crimson Palace."

"Sounds fancy." I said, mildly interested.

"Oh I should say so." He said. "It has hosted perhaps some of the greatest musicians on the ocean! It's renowned for its perfect atmosphere and 5 star cuisine."

"Sounds tasty! When can we eat?" Luffy asked eagerly.

"Luffy!" Usopp snapped. "You think a bunch of pirates like us could just waltz into the most special club on the island like it was nothing?"

"Why not?" he asked.

Hijako burst out laughing. "The long nose boy is correct! In fact, the entire club is RSVP only; you need to be invited by a manager at the club or pay A LOT of money to the right person."

Luffy beamed. "OH! We have lots of money! Right Nami?"

She frowned. "We're not spending our hard earned money on some restaurant!"

"It wouldn't matter anyway." Hijako said. "Even if you did pay someone, it would probably take a week to get in. The place is filled up every night."

"You sure seem to know a lot about that place." I said curiously.

He turned to me and scratched his beard. "I've lived on this island all my life. I know what I'm talking about."

I held my hands up. "Sorry. Didn't mean to sound insensitive."

He waved the statement away. "Now, where we're we?"

I hadn't had realized that by the time we passed through the market street, we made it to another beach.

Almost a mirror image of the one behind us.

"WHOA!" Luffy exclaimed. "How'd we get back to the beach?"

"You idiot." Usopp said. "We walked straight through the island."

"WHAT?" He screamed.

Hijako nodded. "We're on the tip of the island, so it's possible to walk across in a matter of ten minutes. The whole island however, is a few miles long-ways."

"This is just unbelievable." I muttered.

He smiled. "Come. Let's fine my boating buddy."

We reached a small collection of wooden buildings next to the docks.

Hijako stopped in front of a sailing shop with model ships in the window sill.

"Come, let's meet Garrett."

We walked in.

The store was smaller inside.

More model boats and catalogues on the tables. A few chairs, the walls were green and the carpet blue.

An older man with white hair and a deeper tan than Hijako was sleeping with his head resting on his hand.

He was standing behind a counter and wore a bright red silk shirt.

Hijako frowned at him.

He got to his toes to reach the old man and smacked his resting arm out from under his head.

-BONK-

"OW!" The old man exclaimed.

"Wake up ya old prune." Hijako insulted playfully.

The old man squinted at us and fished something out his pocket.

He put on thick bifocal glasses and looked at us.

When he saw Hijako, he just rolled his eyes. "Hijako you pissant fossil, back from another pointless fishing trip coming up with bumbcus?"

"I've caught more fish in a week than you take in customers all year! Speaking of which, I have some for you."

He gestured toward us.

The old man focused on us. "Welcome to Garrett's Shipyard; may you find all your…ah who gives a crap?"

He extended a hand to Luffy.

"Names Garrett, I fix boats. What seems to be the problem?"

Luffy shook his hand. "You know where we can find food?"

"LUFFY!" Nami shouted, then pushed him aside. "Look Mr. Garrett, our ship's sails got badly damaged in a storm and we needed them fixed as soon as possible."

Hijako looked at his _buddy._ "Two horizontal; severe. Eight meters each. Multitude of weather damage."

Garrett understood every word his buddy said, nodding his head in agreement. "That is serious. Where are you docked?"

"On the other side of the island." Usopp said.

"Right next to Beauty." Hijako said. "I'll lead you to it."

Garrett walked out from behind his counter and clicked on a belt.

It had a multitude of different tools, measurements and…sewing needles on it.

"Let's go take a look." He said.

* * *

We made our way through the crowds back to the boat.

Usopp spread out the sails to show the damage.

"Hmmm…" Garrett said disappointedly.

Only Zoro was left on the boat...and he was passed out with his back to the railing.

Typical Zoro…

"Not good." He said.

He looked at Hijako. "This is far beyond mending. You're going to have to replace the whole sail."

Usopp groaned. "How much will that cost?"

He rubbed his lips together as if they were dry. "Well, I have the materials. All I need is to make measurements and I can have it all done in about two days."

"That's not bad, right Nami?" I said.

She didn't seem happy. "Are you sure that's as fast as you can do it?"

"I'm old!" Garrett exclaimed. "Nimble as a fox, but still old. Even that is a rough estimate. It's been a long time since I saw one of these models."

He examined the ship.

"Lot of wear and tear. Improper technique on the repairs."

"Yeah…" Usopp said nervously. "I've been told. Can you fix anything else on the ship?"

He looked over the entire ship, which made me sweat.

"Too much work for just me to handle. And trust me, I'm the only guy you want to deal with on _this_ island. You'd have better luck with one of those younger boys at…oh whatayacallit? I can't remember."

_I think he means the Galley La Company._

"Still." Garrett concluded. "You've asked me to deal with the sails, and so that's what I'll do."

He brushed his hands. "Now, payment…"

"Will be handled with me." Hijako interrupted.

We were shocked.

"Are you sure?" Usopp said. "We just met you…"

_This is crazy…_

"I'm sure." Hijako said with a grin. "I told you guys before; you seem like a good bunch."

Garrett grumbled. "Yes, always the generous one. You going to have one of your manager's send me a…"

Hijako gave him a look that said _shut up_.

Wonder what he meant by…

Garrett just sighed. "Well, I'd better get to work."

He pulled out a tape measure and began getting our sail's measurements.

"Thanks old beard guy!" Luffy said cheerfully.

Luffy hopped off the boat, and turned toward the city.

"LUFFY!" Nami shouted. "Where are you going?"

"I want to get something to eat!" He whined.

She grumbled. "He's gonna get us in trouble, won't he?"

I shrugged. "I just hope he doesn't eat a restaurant and skip the bill."

Usopp shrugged. "I'll go with him, to make sure he stays out of trouble."

He jumped off the ship and ran after Luffy.

"Well?" I asked Nami. "Wanna do a little sightseeing?"

She sighed. "If I was going to go off shore for sightseeing, it'd _have_ to be with you."

I took a bit of an offense to that, but she didn't seem to mean anything hurtful.

"Shall we depart?"

* * *

The city was amazing.

Bars, restaurants, stores of anything you could think of, market stands with everything you _couldn't_ think of.

It was a tourist's dream island.

Nami's eye caught a t-shirt booth and spent about ten minutes looking at all the local styles.

She looked so beautiful when she was happy. I hadn't seen her smile like that in what felt like ages.

But the prices weren't to her liking, and she left the vendor disappointed.

"For God's sake, those shirts were overpriced junk." She grumbled.

"I thought it looked nice." I said.

She gave me a sly look. "You just liked how _I'd_ look in it."

"Point made."

She laughed an honest to goodness laugh, a laugh I hadn't heard in a long time.

In retrospect, it was less than a week ago.

But after all the crap we'd been though since then, it was nice to finally get some down time in paradise before the next stoke of bad luck hit us.

"OH!" I gasped. "HATS!"

This one stand had about a hundred hats: ball caps and fedoras and wide brim hats and all sorts of cool toppers.

"You like?" The greasy and possibly Italian vendor asked, holding a hat that looked like it was infused with a crocodile.

Nami picked up a tiny top hat. "You really like hats, don't you?"

I nodded eagerly. "I use to have a whole collection! Back when I…"

_Shit! Don't say anything…_

I let the comment hang as I found a really nice one with a red cross sign on it. Like something a lifeguard would wear.

I didn't know how all these things could exist in this world; I didn't question it.

She put on the tiny top hat and posed. "How do I look?"

I put on a fedora. "I don't think that one fits."

"It supposed to be the style." She said.

She sat it back down.

I put my hat back down, thanked the vendor and we moved on.

We walked closer to each other to avoid hitting other crowds.

We were getting pretty close.

_Does this…count as a date?_

I thought about holding her hand…

_Ok…I think we've known each other for a long time…the feelings are there…I'm gonna go for it…_

I slowly, but casually, took her hand.

She seemed surprised and pulled away.

"Sorry."

_I keep forgetting; relationships are different in this world. I mean sure, marriage and girlfriends still exist but…things aren't like in high school. I still don't know how things go along in this world._

She rolled her eyes. "If it means _so _much to you…"

She regrabbed my hand.

Now I've had a problem with holding hands for as long as I can remember.

In the few instances I did hold somebody's hand (even fewer a girl's hand) it never felt quite right.

Maybe because my hands were so big.

But when I held someone's hand, it always felt…cold.

Cold and clammy. Every other hand I've held feels…wrong.

I've been told I have very warm hands, and any other hand I felt wasn't up to temperature I guess…

But Nami's hand…felt ok.

She looked away when she held my hand, like it was the last thing she wanted to do.

-WHOOSH-

A cart zoomed right in front of us, and I pulled Nami back to avoid the collision.

I pulled her in close to me.

Her surprised face was inches from mine.

And we laughed.

* * *

Things seemed more relaxed after that.

The day was going great; it felt like a real date.

We got something to eat, we shopped for clothes and saw the sights and the weather was perfect.

The island had a huge sort of park area. It had giant cobblestone fountain with five big pools circling a giant circle. Each one had jets and fountains shooting out of the ground. Oak trees encompass the area with stone paths leading back to the city.

The fountain's pool was covered in berri coins: almost looking like those coin games in the arcades where you try and scrape off enough coins to get prizes.

I had a berri coin in my pocket.

"Why do they throw all that money into the fountain?" Nami asked, her eyes suggesting she wanted to take some.

_She doesn't know about wishing fountains?_

"It's a wish thing." I said. "People throw a coin into the fountain and make a wish. People think they'll come true."

I grabbed the coin and flipped it into the fountain.

-PLOP-

"That was wasteful!" She complained.

"I was making a wish!"

"Oh really? What wish?" She said.

I cracked a smile. "That we'd get to spend the rest of the afternoon together."

She was surprised.

"That's so cheesy it hurts." She smirked.

But she still blushed.

I couldn't remember the last time I ever saw Nami blushing.

"Well…then I guess it was worth it." She concluded, her nose in the air.

She relaxed her face and smiled. "Well, we're still here. Let's keep looking around."

* * *

Long story short, the wish came true.

It was a wonderful afternoon of sightseeing, browsing, and holding hands.

And best of all, we didn't run into a single other member of the crew.

Not saying I don't like'em or anything.

But I'm sure that Usopp, or Luffy, or God forbid Zoro or _Sanji_ would disrupt this little outing.

Besides, this was _our_ time; the first time I felt like I was making a connection with Nami.

We we're in high spirits the whole afternoon. We'd talk about the sights we saw, or the adventures we'd had, or I'd crack stupid jokes and she'd just give me a look that said _you're an idiot, but I'm still glad you're here._

The sun was beginning to set. I took Nami back near the beach area.

We sat on a bench to watch the sun set.

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. She rested her head on my shoulder.

"This it _just_ what we needed." She said pleasantly.

"You're telling me." I said, equally as pleased.

The crowds were beginning to die down; the sun was about to hit the horizon.

"This was…a terrific day." She said, looking up at me.

I nodded. "Best of all; I got to spend it with you."

She rolled her eyes. "Is that like your default setting; _cheesy_?"

I am kinda a cheesy guy.

I was getting ready to give her a kiss.

She raised an eyebrow. "So..."

I halted.

She sighed. "I'm sorry, I just..."

I didn't let her finish.

_Go for it..._

And I gave her the best kiss of my life.

And this time, she pulled me closer in to kiss me.

I mean this was…wow.

I guess you could call this a…romantic kiss.

I had to take a breath before she pulled me in again.

God I couldn't remember how long we sat there in that bench.

I couldn't tell: seconds felt like hours, my head felt all hot and light.

I _finally_ pulled away from her and she caught her breath.

Her flushed face and panting mouth just make her _more_ beautiful. "That was…wow."

I smiled triumphantly.

_This…this is what love feels like._

I hadn't felt like that good since…

…since I was with Catilin.

Her image was in my mind, making my heart feel like it was starting to sink.

I nodded. "Um…I…"

I had come to terms with her a while back; her death wasn't my fault.

But…how I acted that night after she told me to…and I just exploded.

And she…

I wish I could take it back. I still do.

My mood changed. Nami picked up on it. "Um, Screaver…"

This was supposed to be my perfect moment.

But…no. I had to live up to my mistakes.

_SCREAVER!_ Michael blared.

I twitched my head forward, almost hitting Nami.

Luckily I didn't.

She frowned. "What's wrong?"

_WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU ASSHOLE? YOU TRYING TO MESS UP MY MOMENT?_

…_Ugh._ He groaned. _Fine. Finish up your "moment." Meet me in the plaza in two minutes._

I had no clue what he meant, but he sounded serious.

"I have to…"

I stood up. She sat upright and stared me in the eyes.

"I have to go."

She seemed sad. "But…why?"

"Please…I don't want to but…I have to go take care of something."

I put my hands on her shoulders. "But for the record, that was the best moment of my life."

She grabbed my arms. "I…"

She seemed a loss for words.

I had known Nami for the longest time; I had never seen her like this before.

But she blinked, and gave me her confident smile. "Mine too."

I smiled.

I gave her a hug, an honest to goodness hug, and walked off.

I kept looking at her as she sat there on the bench staring longingly at me.

_That was fu…that was amazing._

Now it was time to deal with whatever the hell was so important with Michael.

* * *

I found him standing on a trash can on a street leading to the main plaza.

I marched up to him angry, wondering what was so damn important.

He looked at me with a mixture of pity and urgency.

"This had better be…"

He was wearing a tiny black top hat; the same one Nami had tried on.

"You stole that?"

He gave me a look. "Hello? _Magic!_"

"And if you're _magic, _don't you realize what I was doing?" I said in a huff.

He sighed. "I felt the whole thing. That last bit about Catilin…"

"It's whatever." I shrugged.

He shook his head. "You understand now right? Her memory is going to eat at you. I just hope it doesn't break this thing you got with Nami."

I shrugged again. "What's so important?"

He brushed off his tiny jacket and crossed his arms. "Someone is here…"

"You interrupted my moment with Nami, my first real romantic moment with Nami, for SOMEONE?"

He held up his hands to silence me. "Someone…from your world."

That shut me up.

"Wh…what?"

He nodded. "I couldn't tell at first, my senses aren't what they use to be. But I'm positive. There are two signatures of _your world_ beings on this island and you're one of them. Which means…"

"Who?" I said. "How?"

"I…I don't know." He said sadly. "But I'm positive."

"Is it Gabriel? Did he bring somebody here?"

"No no." Michael said. "I told you. I've got him locked now. If we were even within a ten mile radius of him, I'd know no matter what who he was in."

"Well...what should we do?"

"My first instinct would to find them; maybe they're like us. This person might not be a One Piece fan. Who knows? They'll need help; we're about the only ones who _could_ help."

"Can you find them?"

He looked to the air. "Not in this form."

He leaped off the trash can and flipped.

As he flipped his body grew longer, and his hands and clothes changed into paws and fur.

When he landed he was a full grown gray bloodhound. He kept the little top hat though.

I scoffed. "You kept the hat?"

His droopy dog face made what could have been a sneer. "It gives me _personality_. I'm the snooty dog."

"Just sniff this guy out Michael."

He put his dog nose to the ground and sniffed around for a bit. Then he sniffed the air.

He turned 180 degrees and pointed down the street. "Let's go. –RUFF-"

He pawed the ground and took off, bouncing down the street with me in hot pursuit.

* * *

We went about twenty minutes before he stopped.

We had gone up an uphill street that seemed to lead to the _higher end_ of town: the buildings were nicer, people wore more expensive clothes and the restaurants were all names I couldn't pronounce.

I could see some big fancy hotels too; which led me to believe that this was where the _high pay_ tourists took up residence.

Michael took off again, making loud bark noises and stopping occasionally to sniff the ground.

People gave us looks as we continued further.

"Gah." I said unemotionally. "Come back…dog."

He finally stopped to take a rest in front of a huge building. The roofs were Chinese looking and were blood red. The walls we're polished marble white. It had gold windows and polished steel gates.

At the gates, a whole troop of big burly men in black suits stood at the doors.

"This is not an entrance." One of them said unenthusiastically, like he had been saying it for years. "Although I don't think you're a customer anyways. Please turn away."

I looked up at the encompassing walls. A beautiful sign spelt out in cursive "The Crimson Palace."

_This is the most expensive club on the island?_

The guard looked down at Michael. "Sir, please remove your _pet_ from the area. It's causing a scene."

Michael just sat there, panting from the mile long run he just did.

"Sir, I need to get in there. There's…a friend that needs to see…"

"Sir." He interrupted me. "I have heard every excuse known to man from every tourist who _stumbled_ upon this building. _I need to use the bathroom. I left my papers inside. Pretty please._ If you have _any_ shred of decency in you, please leave the area without causing a scene."

I pitied the poor guy.

Mostly because I could _kinda_ share his pain of being forced to do a job like this.

I nodded. "I understand. Sorry, I'll be leaving you now. Have a nice day."

I snapped at Michael, and like a _good boy_ he got up and followed me.

"Have a good day." The man called back to me.

Michael changed back into chibi form, flew to my shoulder and just gawked at me. "What the hell was that? You could have just broken in! Those guys couldn't have stood a chance against you."

I shrugged. "Wasn't feeling it. Besides, causing a scene like that could get us kicked off the island. Nami…and the crew deserve a vacation. We'll find another way in."

He frowned. "Well, I'll monitor his movements. From what I can tell he's staying inside that building. I'm guessing he isn't a new arrival."

"Still," I said, "We should at least meet with him. Maybe he's from the future…he could tell us how the world's going right now."

"Yeah." Michael said humorously. "Like If _Obama_ got reelected…"

"Or if they ever made a new Fallout game."

We smiled humorously at the possibilities.

"How do we get in?" he asked.

"You know what I'm thinking don't you?"

He paused, then gave me a look. "Hijako?"

"You heard what he said right? _Managers…_he was talking about them back with his buddy."

"But even if that we're true," Michael said, "Hijako said it would still take about a week to put through the information."

"We have no other choice." I said. "Maybe we can speed up the process, or maybe we can convince the rest of the crew to hold off on moving on."

"Screaver, we're already taking a big risk." Michael warned me. "We we're supposed to be in Long Island remember?"

"So what? We don't have to deal with that ugly ass cheater? Fine by me."

"We can't skip an entire non-filler arc!" Michael exclaimed. "That would be catastrophic on the storyline. By my estimate, this anomaly has given some delay time before the events are set in motion, about three days at most. But after that, we HAVE to leave."

I grumbled. "Well, we have three days to get in there."

-SMACK-

I got hit in the face by a piece of paper.

"SON OF A…what's this?"

It was a flier.

_Tomorrow at Midday, at Grande City Plaza _(loving these original names by the way), _grand festival with contests! Four lucky winners will receive VIP seats to the illustrious Crimson Palace!_

The flier had colorful designs on it and swirls, but that didn't mean a thing to me at the moment.

I gave Michael a smug look. "It's like we were born lucky."

* * *

After everyone made either way back to the ship, everyone was riled up at all there was to see on the paradise island.

To summarize everyone's experiences:

Luffy: Ate a bunch of food at kiosks, saw a bunch of funny people…

Usopp: Paying all the bills Luffy left behind and once in a while taking a look at the gadgets the vendors sold.

Zoro: Woke up, explored a bit and got lost, but was astounded at the number of bars they had until he found Robin.

Robin: Apparently they had a library and dozens of book stores. She got a few new books, saw a very nice serine pool built at the top of a cliff about a half a mile across the island. Found Zoro and led him back to the ship.

Sanji: Shopped for supplies: impressed at the market's wide variety of spices, fish, meat, vegetables and exotic fruits. But there were so many babes on the island than he could shake a stick at (not like _that…_perverts.)

Chopper: Followed his nose to find cotton candy (or candy floss or whatever) had a nice chat with some visiting doctors on leave, came back and egg watched (much appreciated.)

Nami: You KNOW!

She was a bit quiet at the dinner table, giving me a few glances before looking of as if she was embarrassed.

I couldn't blame her; I felt kinda the same way.

But I was too invested in my plan to care.

I showed them the flier. "Remember what Hijako said. The Crimson Palace is the best place on the whole island. They're giving out free passes as prizes! We could take those easily."

No one seemed convinced.

"What's the point anyways?" Zoro asked. "There's plenty to do here without it."

"Not to mention we're only going to be here a few days." Usopp brought up. "And Hijako said it took about a week before we could even get in."

"Not to mention there's only four passes." Sanji said, cooking something on the stove. "We'd have to draw lots or something to see who went."

Luffy hummed like he was thinking, but not like he was agreeing.

I wasn't making any headway.

But I had something they didn't have.

Knowledge of each of their own personal interests.

And knowledge of how none of them realize they had them.

I looked at Luffy. "This flier says they get VIP access, you know what that means right?"

I eyed Luffy. "**No **expenses. Which means you can eat _all_ the fine grub you can eat."

Luffy was getting stars in his eyes. "COOL! Really?"

I nodded, then turned to Zoro. "That goes for drinks too. An endless fountain of booze…just for you."

Zoro looked up with a goofy grin on his face. "Endless booze…"

I then turned to Sanji. "And VIP access gets you in pretty good standing with the waitresses…pretty young _women_ waitresses."

He whirled around. "WHAT?"

"Oh yeah." I lied. "I only got a glimpse of the place but…"

I leaned in to him, whispering. "They have beautiful women serving their guests' _every_ need."

He was in a tornado of passion. "WHOOOOOOOA! TAKE ME TO CRIMSON PARADIIIISE!"

Usopp was starting to become swayed by Luffy's encouraging talk. That was his weakness; he's easily persuaded.

Chopper's too; impressionable youth.

But Nami and Robin…challenge.

I couldn't take advantage of them without being blatant…and an asshole.

What could I say to Robin? A Poneglyph is in there? Your mother didn't actually die and is now the main performing act?

Nah, I had all the dudes on board, and that was good for me.

"Now…about the contest."

They all eyed me eagerly.

"We compete for the four passes. Whoever wins them, gets to keep them."

They all looked like they were ready to beat the shit out of…something with eager smiles on their faces. Their eyes practically glowed with intent.

I looked at Nami. "I'm going to win both of us a pass, so we can go together."

She looked stunned. "Why would you do that?"

"Is it wrong for a guy to take you to the finest restaurant on the island?"

She looked cocky. "Well, if that's how you wanted, I might just enter myself in!"

"Count me in too." Robin said. "I look forward to seeing what this _contest _is."

Everyone was on board.

"WHOA!" Sanji cheered. "I'm going to win and me and Robin and Nami will AAAALL go together!"

"Yeah?" Zoro said. "I'm going to beat you and then drink myself under the table."

"I can just taste the foooood!" Luffy said eagerly.

"This is going to be fun!" Chopper said.

"Better watch it guys!" Usopp boasted. "I'm the king when it comes to competitions!"

The game was set and the players were raring to go.

_Great…now I'm going to have to compete against everyone…_

_Not the greatest plan Screaver._ Michael said.

_Whatever, this just makes it interesting._


	111. Chapter 111

Contest to Paradise on Paradise

The Isle of Sand's Spirit Animal?

The day had arrived.

We woke up and got to breakfast; things were getting tense at the breakfast table.

No one said much. We kept eyeing each other and quickly shoveling our food into our mouths.

I was surprised that Sanji didn't poison us or anything, but I knew he wasn't like that when it came to food. He wanted us at our best before he tried to kick our asses.

I could even hear Luffy and Usopp mutter, "_Palace…Palace…Crimson Palace…_"

I was really regretting my decision on this.

But I couldn't go back now: I had to meet that guy.

Who knows? I might even know him.

_Put the idea out of your mind._ Michael said encouraging. _Thinking like that could make you desperate._

_Yeah yeah, I know._

We finish, and Luffy smiled. "Yosh! Let's get moving!"

"Four of us are going to that palace tonight." Zoro said eagerly.

"Don't worry ladies." Sanji said to Nami and Robin. "We'll have a wonderful night together."

"Dream on loser." I grumbled.

* * *

Everyone had gathered in the plaza.

Hundreds of people were crowding in the colorful plaza.

There were other pirates in the crowds: big scary men in a mix of rags and fine clothing.

Others looked like locals, and others looked like the stereotypical tourists.

The entire city had been decorated with big balloons and signs and streamers on the light posts and…

Ok, I'm getting ahead of myself.

I think the flier had said something about…celebrating a festival or something…

I was just there for the passes. I hadn't really focus on anything else on the flier.

Apparently, neither did anyone else.

Everyone looked eager and ready to submit to the challenge.

In the center of it all, the stone ground began to wobble. People moved away from it in surprise.

-VRRRRRRR-

It retracted like a hangar door, and a podium rose out of it.

A man in a bright red tuxedo and an Elvis style haircut was standing on it.

He put a small den den mushi to his mouth.

"_**Ladies and gentlemen!**_" He announced, his voice being broadcasted across the city. "_**Thank you all for coming to celebrate the festivities! May the Sun God rain good fortune on you all!**_"

As if on cue, from above came a down pour of flower petals and confetti.

Everyone cheered as the wondrous merriment ensued.

We were feeling it: Usopp and Luffy jumped around in joy, even Sanji and Zoro laughing in merriment.

"_**Now attention!**_" He asked. "_**On to the main event!**_"

He snapped his fingers and a tiny monkey seemed to have climbed from nowhere to his shoulder.

It was a tiny white monkey with a brown face and little dark cheeks.

It took a tiny medallion that it was wearing off and handed it to the man.

"_**Our main event! A test of skill and intelligence! And the first four winners will receive a free pass to tonight's stay at the Crimson Palace!**_"

Everyone cheered.

The whole crew was jittering with excitement and anticipation.

"_Food…food…food_!" Luffy whispered eagerly.

"_**Those who wish to compete, step forward!**_" The announcer said and held out his hand.

Less people than I expected stepped forward.

Roughly a fifth of the crowd stepped closer: tourists, pirates, and the Strawhats of course…

The announcer held up the medallion, which shone brilliantly in the sun. "_**There are four golden medallions, scattered across the island, each held by the sacred animal of our people; the Arena White Ape!**_"

The little monkey waved casually and crawled up to the announcer's head and began combing it for bugs.

"_**Only four medallions are out there! Here are your objectives: retrieve the medallion, but do not harm the animal.**_"

_I think they're playing up the sacred land thing a bit too much._

_It's just for tourism._ Michael said.

The other pirate's were smirking and nodding. They probably thought this was going to be a breeze.

"_**Only the one who retrieves the medallion will get the prize: there will be no stealing. Even if you tried, the Arena White Ape will make a mental record of the true possessor of the ape and relay it back to me. Giving it to another however is completely allowed. You must use your knowledge and skill to capture the ape and retrieve its metal. Is all of that understood?**_"

_How the hell can a monkey tell a human what we look like?_

I looked at the crew.

Their eyes shone with intent: they wanted what they wanted. Now.

Robin and Nami were looking normal at least…

"_**At the sound of the gong, the contest will begin…**_"

-**BWOOOOOOOONG**-

The loudest gong I ever hear echoed through the city, and the crowd cheered.

They made a path out of the square, and the contestants all ran for it.

"YOSH!" Luffy cheered, winding up his fist. "LET'S DO IT!"

Everyone ran in different directions.

_Ok, don't have to worry about Zoro cause he's retarded. Luffy…probably not. Usopp and Sanji have a good chance, and Robin…she's the most knowledgeable. Maybe she was able to read up on these monkeys yesterday._

I made a note on which way she went and I followed close behind.

-BAM-

I was tripped by something and landed on my face.

"HAHA! SUCKER!" A man shouted from behind and ran past me.

_Oh I see…violence to the monkey is out. But violence in general…_

I pushed back up and leaped at the asshole.

I didn't care about what he looked like; all I saw was his terrified face as I flew towards him with my fist cocked.

"DIIIIIE!"

-**BAM-**

He didn't get back up.

* * *

I followed a trail higher into the hill part of the island; not as much urbanization.

I saw a few shrines and decided to look that way.

"_**ATTENTION!**_" The announcer's voice echoed over the hill side. "_**THE FIRST MEDALLION HAS BEEN FOUND! THREE MORE TO GO!**_"

"Damn it!" I shouted. "Already?"

The shrines didn't show me much. It was shaped like a stone ape with a big gapping mouth. It did have some sort of wild berries place in its mouth.

I picked one of the berries out: small and round, but very hard.

"Michael?" I called out. "You know what this is?"

_No idea. _He said. _But using my deducing skills, I believe it is the favorite snack of these Arena Apes._

_How?_

_This shrine is obviously dedicated to the sacred animal._ He deduced. _And they put the berries in the mouth, so that's even more evidence to the fact._

_You think…these berries grow on the island?_

_Probably._ He said.

I sniffed the berry. It had a sweet smell that also reminded me a lot of lavender.

_Can you go bloodhound again?_

_Excellent idea._ Michael cheered.

-POOF-

Michael appeared in dog-with-style form, with gray fur and tiny top hat.

He put his nose to the shrine, into the mouth of the shrine, and then sniffed the air.

"AROOO!"

He went bouncing down the hill, leaving me to follow him.

I was led to a grove of bushes, each one holding thousands of those blue berries.

Michael laid down on the grass and panted. "I do good?"

I patted his head. "Yeah, you do good."

I walked around the grove, listening for any sign of life.

-RUSTLE-

I hoped my luck had just gotten better.

Sure enough, a tiny white monkey was sitting on a bush branch.

This monkey was a bit different however; its tail had about two rings on the end of it.

It was picking berries out of the bush.

And, most importantly, it had a gold medal strung on a red ribbon hanging around its neck.

I looked around, no one in sight.

_This is too easy._

-BAM-

I was slammed into the ground by the back of my head.

"See ya Shithead." A familiar voice sneered.

_Oh FUCK no!_

He tried to step over my head, but I whipped around and grabbed his foot like a vice grip.

Then I slammed him into the ground.

"That medallion is MINE you Butt-Sucking Indian Giver!"

Sanji grumbled as he jumped to his feet. He brushed off dirt from his yellow dress shirt. "You aren't going to ruin MY night with the ladies!"

"You do know you need 3 medallions for that to work. So unless you plan on getting all of them yourself…"

"That's EXACTLY what I plan on doing! Now STEP ASIDE!" He roared.

He leaped into the air and hiked his leg.

I raised an arm to defend.

"Michael! Get the monkey!"

Michael changed to chibi form and nodded. "Will do!"

Sanji was surprised by him, which soon turned into more anger. "No fair!"

He threw a flurry of kicks, and then swiped across my chest.

-BOOM-

I blocked, holding my fists up in defense.

"I don't see _you_ having a Guardian Angel!"

He whirled around and threw a kick into my face.

-BAM-

I was afraid he'd break my nose.

I was pushed backwards quite a bit. I looked past him to see how Michael was doing.

That little bugger was quick.

The monkey was leaping from bush to bush with surprising speed. Michael darted to catch him, but the monkey just looked back at him with curiosity as it dodged him.

_How do you catch a monkey?_

Sanji turned around as the monkey was heading our way and made a grab for it.

It leaped onto his head, catapulted off him, then leaped onto my arm and used its tail to slide down and run past us.

We just stood there in shock.

"Michael! After it!"

"Oh not you don't!" Sanji yelled and ran at me.

Sanji threw a flying kick at me, but Michael intercepted it.

It did look kinda funny; almost like if a beanie baby stopped Chuck Norris mid round house kick.

"I got him." Michael said. "Focus on the monkey! I'll give you some time."

I left Sanji behind, much to his anger.

* * *

The monkey was dodging everyone who tried to grab it. It obviously must have been a veteran.

Michael poofed into existence, floating beside me.

"You sure he won't catch up?"

"Please." He said smugly. "One doesn't not _catch up_ from quick sand."

I didn't say anything.

"That's a joke."

I grabbed Michael. "Can you turn into a net?"

He nodded. "Load me up!"

I formed my bazooka.

"Special Buster!"

-KABOOM-

A silver net fired, aimed right at the monkey.

The monkey whirled around and jumped.

Another contestant made a dive for the monkey just as it leaped.

The net covered the man, who screamed in frustration. And the monkey just landed on top of him and continued running down the path.

"Jesus!"

-POOF-

Michael came back. "Maybe we need to lure it with something."

I nodded. "Berries?"

Michael opened his tiny head to reveal three berries.

"Worth a shot!"

I stopped. "HEY!"

The monkey stopped, and looked back.

Michael landed on the ground and offered the berries.

"You want these? Pretty good right?" He said.

He rubbed his belly making MMMMMM sounds.

"How about a trade?" He said. "These berries, for _that_ medallion?"

The monkey inched towards him.

_Yes…yes…yeeees…_

It got closer, its tail twitching from side to side.

"We're sorry about trying to catch you. Maybe we can just barter with you!"

It was almost in reaching distance until…

"GUM GUM FINGERNET!"

-WCHWCH-

Both Michael and I were caught in a rubber net.

"LUUUUFFY!" I roared.

He leaped down, his hands still stretched.

"Oh, sorry Screaver! Michael! Where's the monkey?"

Luffy didn't even catch him!

The monkey was running down the street.

"FUUUUCK!"

Luffy released us and ran after him. "COME BACK MEEEEEAT!"

_I don't think that's going to help._

All of a sudden, arms sprouted out of the walls and floors and began tangling up everyone.

Robin stood atop a wall adjacent to the street, her arms crossed and her face brooding.

"I do believe the medallion is mine."

She made more arms spring out to catch the monkey, but the little bugger was real good!

He slipped out of all her arms, until he was finally grasped by three arms.

"NO!" I yelled, then slammed my foot down on two arms grabbing my leg.

She grunted in pain and all the arms loosened up, freeing me and Luffy and the little monkey.

"RUN MONKEY RUUUUN!"

The little guy took the advice and made a run for it.

Robin frowned at me. "That was ill-advised Screaver…"

More hands were about to spring up at me, but I launched myself away from her location.

Hands began springing up on my body too, but I knew how to deal with that move.

-CHOMP-

"_Ump!_" She gasped.

The arms dissipated like flower petals.

"After the monkey!"

* * *

The monkey must have been getting tired by now.

I found it being cornered by Zoro, who had one sword drawn and his back turned to me.

"Zoro! You can't slice the monkey!"

He was still facing the other way. "Who said anything…"

-WHOOSH- -CLINK-

He whirled around and slashed at me, but I instinctively held up my bazooka arm.

"…about hurting the monkey?"

"That's cold bro…" I said sadly.

"Relax." He said casually. "It's the blunt end. It won't kill you. Just enough to knock you out so I can get the medal."

I smiled. "Except you forgot one thing…MICHAEL!"

He whooshed past us and headed straight for the monkey.

"Cheat!" Zoro said.

"Too bad!"

Just then, the annoucer's voice projected aloud, "_**Attention! Another medallion has be claimed! That's two medallions to go!**_"

At that instant, the monkey's face changed, and his eyes narrowed.

"Come'ere ya little…" Michael shouted.

-BONK-

The monkey whirled his medallion and clocked Michael in the face.

"HEY! THE HELL? He can't do that!"

"Guess there's nothing in the rules that says they can't." Zoro guessed.

The monkey sped past us at lightning speed, whacking Zoro in the shin with his medal in the process.

Zoro screamed in pain. "YEOOOW! WHY THE SHIIINS?"

I guess Zoro's shins are kinda sensitive from when he tried to cut them off.

Zoro fell to the ground, and I panicked and got to his side.

"Zoro! Hey man, you ok?"

He nodded. "I'm good. Little sucker got me good huh? Go ahead Screaver, I'll be fine."

I nodded. "You know, if I ended up with three medals, I'd invite you first."

He cocked his head to the side. "First?"

"Well, third technically. Me, then Nami, then you!"

He chuckled. "Get outa here moron."

I got up, picked up Michael and ran after the monkey.

* * *

I found the monkey cornered by a group of pirates in a dirty alleyway.

There was about five of them. They were all big guys in expensive clothing.

The leader, I assumed, had a wide brimmed hat and a smile with about a dozen gold teeth.

"Look at what we have here boys!" He said. "An appetizer before _my_ night of partyin'."

His men chuckled evilly.

"Hey! You can't mess with the monkey!" I argued.

He noticed me. "Shut yer face boy! I'll do what I damn please!"

He snapped his fingers, and two men broke off of his group to face me.

I scoffed. "Yeah…right. Why don't you two little girls go back and let me have a talk with your mama."

They grunted and flexed their _muscles._

"Also…did you just call me…boy?"

Two of the bastards dove at the little guy.

The monkey leaped, but one reached above him and snagged his tail.

The two then held the monkey by the arms and legs as it squirmed and flailed to try and escape.

"YAYARGH! You see now boy? I'M the winner of this medallion, not you!"

He snapped his fingers, and the other two moved toward me. "Kill him slowly!"

I cracked my neck. "You did it again…so stupid."

**-WHOBAAAM-**

I planted my fists right through the first dweeb's face with a look of sheer anger. "NOBODY CALLS ME BOY YOU STUPID ASS!"

-**AWHOBAAAAM-**

I finished the other guy off as well with another punch.

"My NAME is Screaver Bartel, and I'M the guy who GOING. TO. THAT. CLUUUUUUB!"

I grabbed the captain, who was about 6 feet mind you, and lifted him over my head.

"NOW OUTA MY WAAAAAY!"

-**BOOOM**-

I slammed him into the wall, and he crumpled into a heap.

I eyed the other two, and they released the monkey in fear and ran away.

The monkey rubbed its tail and looked up at me in fear.

I got to one knee and smiled. "There ya go little guy. Gotta say, you got some guts."

I patted its head and it's ears perked up.

"Now, what do ya say? Can I _please_ have the medal?"

I held out my hand to it.

It looked at the shinny medal, and sighed.

It undid the ribbon and held it out.

I cautiously reached for the medal…

And it placed it in my hand.

I was surprised. I was expecting it to like bite me, or hit me, or run away again. Or all three!

But, it gave me the medal and nodded at me, and scampered past me.

"YEAHEAAAAH!" I roared in happiness. "HIGH FIVE!"

-SMACK-

"Now what? We have ONE medal." Michael said.

I rubbed my head. "Well, that's alright. We need it to get inside the lounge to find that guy."

"**THE FINAL MEDAL HAS BEEN CLAIMED! CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE INVOLVED!**" The voice announced over the land.

"Well, let's make our way back."

The crowd was going wild.

On the podium, stood the four victors.

All of them Strawhats.

Nice…

First off, Luffy…

_How the hell did he get that?_

Second…Sanji…

_HOW THE HELL HE GET THAT._

Third, Nami!

_WOOHOOO!_

And lastly, yours truly.

And by that I don't me Your S. Truly.

_Stupid joke._

"**Congratulations to these four winners! Give them a BIG round of applause!**"

"**WOOOOHOOOOO!**"

The crowd was going nuts.

Luffy was just cheesin it like crazy, holding his prize up high.

Sanji was glaring at me uncontrollably.

Nami was sighing in relief.

I…was glaring at Sanji.

What? He deserved it.

"**These four will enjoy…**"

-KABOOM-

The podium exploded bellow us.

It began to creek as we fell forward.

"What the hell!"

The crowds were in a panic. Most of them started fleeing.

The announcer guy slipped off the podium crying like mad.

I grabbed a shocked Nami and bazooka jumped off the podium.

Luffy grabbed the announcer guy as Sanji kicked off as well.

We landed to the ground bellow as the podium began to descend upon us.

"DO SOMETHING!" Nami screamed.

"GUM GUUUUM PISTOL…"

"MUTON…"

"BAZOOOOKA!"

The three us released our attacks on the podium.

-BOOM-

It exploded into pieces.

The announcer guy was still shivering. "Ththththankyoooou…"

"**HAAAHAHAHAARGH!**"

We looked to the end of the courtyard to see the offenders.

They appeared to be the gaggle of pirates who ganged up on that monkey earlier.

Except there were more of them; about fifty I think.

He must've brought his whole damn crew in.

Three of them were manning a cannon, which was still smoking from the mouth.

The captain still had his hat on, but his face looked broken and his nose was bleeding.

"Ya little SHITS! How dare ye! Now I'm going to kill ya all, and break in to yer fancy pub and do WHATEVER I WANT!"

"Mommy never loved you enough huh?" Sanji smirked.

He snarled. "Keep at it BLONDIE! One false move…"

He snapped his fingers.

Two of his men were holding a person by the arms and neck.

It was an old man with balding hair and a fu…holy shit it was Hijako.

"HEY! LEAVE THE OLD GUY ALONE!" Luffy roared in anger.

The announcer guy seemed even more distressed. "MR. HIJAKO!"

The old man didn't have much of an expression.

In fact…I think he was sleeping.

Yeah. His eyes were shut and a big ol snot bubble was blowing out his nose.

-POP-

"Huh? Wha?"

He just started to wake up, and began to take in his surroundings.

"Now listen ye!" The captain shouted. "First we'll be taken them gold medallions, then we be occupien yer fancy lounge, and THEN…"

-BAM- -WHOOSH-

In a flash of brilliance, the old man did a front flip and knocked the two lackeys into each other.

"Hmph. Extort MY people will you?" He snorted in anger.

Almost out of nowhere, The rest of our crew showed up through the panicked crowds.

We all looked at each other and smiled in agreement.

"STRAWHATS!" Luffy yelled. "ATTAAAACK!"

We all charged.

"GUM GUUUM GATLING!"

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

"ONI…GURRI!"

-SLASH-

"CONCASSEEEEE!"

-WHABAM-

"THUNDERBOLT TEMPO!"

-BZZZT-

"TOBASCO SHOT!"

-SPLAT- "YEOOOOOW!"

"HEAVY POINT!"

-BOOM- -BOOM- -BAM-

"Seis FLEUR!"

-CRACK-

"SAINTLY WAVE!"

-WHOOOOOSH-

"BAZOOKA PUNCH!"

-**BAM**-

The crew…was no more.

They laid in pain on the ground defeated.

We all cheered in delight.

The crowds were…well…speechless.

That is, until they started cheering.

Including Hijako.

"That was…a tremendous display!" He said.

He slowly walked over to us clapping his hands.

"You ok old guy?" Luffy asked.

"I'm just fine. But…it's clear to me why the monkeys took a liking to all of you."

We were confused.

Then he burst out laughing.

"Just kidding. They're trained." He said.

"Thought as much." Zoro said, stretching his legs.

"But I have to think of some reward for saving my life…" he said scratching his chin.

He snapped his fingers at the announcer, who whisked right to his side.

"Barnsworth, please make express reservation for everyone in this crew."

"**BWHAAAAT?**"

"I knew it!" I said.

No one knew what I was getting at.

"You're the manager of the Crimson Palace right?" I said.

"**WHAAAAAT**?" The crew gasped.

"HAHA! Right you are my good man!" He said.

I perked up. "Good man!" I said, pointing to my face. "I like dat!"

"Sir…" Barnsworth said, "to have twice the number of extra guests than expected is…well…-sigh-…quite like you sir."

He straightened his tie. "I'll make the reservations."

He waved his hangs at the crowds, and took a deep breath.

"**PLEASE GIVE A HAND TO…THE STRAAAAWHATS!**"

"**WOOOOOOOOOO!**"

The crowds were going nuts.

We waved uncomfortably…

_Well, we all got in. Pretty sweet right?_

_I guess I'm not on the guest list._ Michael said sadly.

_Oh course you are! You're my plus one._

_Charmed. Now…I was thinking about a suit._ He said.

_Suit? Why a suit?_

_You saw that place._ He said. _It's not like they'll take you looking like a street bum._

_Huh…tell me more about this…suuuuuit._


	112. Chapter 112

The Crimson Palace

Fine Dining, Exposition, and the Real World Visitor

_I look pretty snazzy in a suit._

The night we were scheduled at the Crimson Palace had arrived.

Everyone was getting dressed in their finest outfits…well, the ones that Hijako rented out to us.

_You have to look your best_ he said. _I won't let my fine establishment be tainted by jean short wearing slumps._

Hah. He insulted Luffy's style.

I was in a large black suit; Italian I think. With a crisp blue shirt and a darker blue tie.

_Now if only we could fix that whole…face problem._

-_BAM-_

_OW!_ He yelped.

_That's right. I can hit you in my head now. So watch it wise guy._

…_how the hell is that even possible?_ He whined.

_**-**__BAM-_

_OW!_

_That's why._

My hair slicked back, my face seemed to wash itself and my tie tightened up nicely.

_Thanks. Sorry about hitting you._

_Oh nono! I think it's rather an accomplishment you broke the laws of reality!_ He said eagerly.

Everyone was waiting on the deck.

Luffy was in a white dress shirt that wasn't buttoned completely and black slacks.

Zoro was in a respectable dark green dress shirt with the arms rolled up and black pants.

Usopp was in a tuxedo…looked downright stupid to me.

Sanji wore one of his many pinstriped suits, with the yellow shirt and tie.

They were even able to find a child's suit for Chopper, who still wore his pink fluffy hat.

And then…_the ladies._

Robin was nice; purple dress with one strap on the side.

But Nami…oh Nami Nami Nami she was a knockout in that strapless white dress.

"AAAALRIGHT! Let's go get my FOOOOD!" Luffy cheered.

"It's not just for you ya greedy pig!" Usopp shouted at him.

Sanji snickered at me. "Well Screaver. Maybe if you wore nice clothes more often, you wouldn't be so ugly."

I smirked back at him. "And maybe if you _didn't_ wear suits everyday like they were dollar store shirts, people would actually give a damn about you."

"Cut it you two." Nami ordered. "I'm not having a single thing go wrong tonight. This is going to be…"

She sighed.

"…reeeeal high class treatment."

Zoro sighed. "Figures. Being given the best treatment royalty can give you still isn't enough for you."

Chopper was clacking his little shoes together in anticipation. "I bet it's going to be…amazing."

"It certainly will be." Robin said cheerfully.

"Well?" Luffy said. "What are we waiting for? Let's GOOOO!"

* * *

The place seemed bigger since the last time I was there.

Mostly because I was going INTO the building.

The flower gardens that grew on each side of the main entrance were astounding; a rainbow of colors and a noseful of smells.

The moon lit sky made the building seem to glow silver, with lamps lighting the sides of the walls.

The main entrance was guarded by four guys in black suits.

One of them looked at me and smirked. "Well, here you are again."

It had to be the guy I met before.

I smiled. "Couldn't keep me out for long. We've got reservations."

"It's alright men." A voice called out behind them.

The announcer guy, Barnsworth I think, walked up to them and waved them off.

"Well, here you are." He said, giving a humble bow.

He waved his hand inward. "Please, follow me."

"Yahooo! Bring on the MEAT!" Luffy cheered.

"And the booze!" Zoro said.

"And THE LADIES!" Sanji cheered even louder.

_I hope that all those things actually exist in this place. Or I'm kinda screwed._

We slowly filled in, Nami being second to last. I brought up the rear.

The walls were shimmering with red and silver. Oil paintings of people framed in fancy frames lined the walls. There was some very nice furniture scattered about.

He waved his hand into a large glass elevator, and we all walked in.

It was big enough that all eight of us could fit in and have plenty of room.

Luffy and Usopp were blown away from the sheer beauty of this place.

"WHOA! What is this thing?" He said, pointing to the elevator.

"This is an elevator…" Barnsworth said. "It can carry people up and down from level to level."

"I've never used one before." Robin said. "Only the very rich are supposed to be able to afford one."

"Well, we never brag." Barnsworth chuckled.

_I really don't think that elevators exist in this world._

_Big deal._ Michael sighed. _Too bad I can't be with you guys._

_Oh whatever. Once we get a table or something just hop out and blend in. They won't notice._

-BEEP-

The elevator smoothly began to descend.

From the glass wall, the main dining room began to show.

…Wow.

It was AMAZING!

It was a humongous room with several circles of glass that allowed light from above to shine in. Red glowing lamps lined the walls. There had to be at least fifty tables in the whole area: center tables, booths, and large group tables.

The floor must have been carpet, but it shined like the polished white walls. There was a fountain in the corner, a BIG fountain. There was a whole section of the floor that seemed more polished where folks could dance. The whole left wall was a HUGE long bar that had like a dozen bartenders working there.

Waiters and waitresses were delivering humongous plates of food to tables. And as we descended I could see there were more chicks than guys. All wearing dressy but still kinda skimpy dresses.

And at the back wall stretching out to the center was a white wood, round and heavily lighted center stage. A whole jazz band of pianists, basses, a whole brass section of horns, and singers were performing loud and groovy jazz. All of them wore black suits with white shirts and black hats.

Dozens of rich folk were eating and drinking and dancing.

This…was…amazing.

Everyone's eyes were lit up.

"Fooooood. So much FOOOOOD!" Luffy moaned.

"Look at the size of that bar!" Zoro gasped.

"LOOK AT THE BEAUTIFUL WAITRESSES!" Sanji cheered.

"This place has everything!" Usopp exclaimed.

"The architecture is astounding." Robin said in awe.

"It's so sparkly and pretty!" Chopper said giddily.

"It's perfect!" Nami decided.

I was going to say something like _eh…I've seen better._

"HOLY FUCKIN SHIT!"

That's more like it.

The elevator reached the bottom floor and opened up.

"Now," Barnsworth said, "let me take you to your table."

He guided us to one of the large tables put directly near the stage.

The musicians spotted us, smiled, and picked up the pace on their jazz.

"If any of you need a waiter, just ask. You are free to use the dance floor, be by the fountain, take up residence at the bar, or anything else you desire. Please refrain from bothering other people eating, or the musicians playing, or the staff, or being violent in any way. Thank you, and get comfy. I think Madeline Clearsky is about to go on in about an hour.

-GASP-

About three of our crew gasped at that name, not including me.

"MmmmmammamaMADELINE CLEARSKY?" Sanji shrieked.

"Clearsky? Are you kidding me? REALLY?" Usopp said, equally as freaked.

"OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!" Nami started yelling.

I was confused.

"Who's Madeline Clearsky?"

"**BWHAAAT**?"

Everyone looked at me funny.

"Screaver, you're a musician. I at least thought you would know who Madeline Clearsky is." Zoro said in surprise.

"So what? She's a musician or something?"

"Not just SOME MUSICIAN!" Usopp said. "She's perhaps the greatest musician on the Grand Line, perhaps the entire world!"

"And she's the third most beautiful woman in the Grand Line! She almost beat out Pirate Warlord Handcock for her beauty!"

"Wow!" I said. "She sounds awesome."

_Hot, sexy AND a musician? My kind of girl._

Well, the old me would be all on that.

_No, I'm here to party. It's not my place to dwell._

"Well, she'll be playing in about an hour. Make yourselves comfortable. If you need anything else, please let me know." Barnsworth said.

He bowed, and walked off to the elevator.

"I'm going to the bar." Zoro said, and made a beeline for the bar.

"WAITER! Bring me meat!" Luffy shouted, grabbing a knife and fork.

"Yeah, food!" Usopp and Chopper said in agreement.

"I'm going to have a look around." Robin said, and walked off.

Sanji had zoomed in on a waitress with blond hair and a lot of make-up on.

"WAIT FOR ME BEAUTIFUL! I need to ask you a favor!"

He zipped off too.

Two waiters had already made their way to us and were writing down their orders.

"You going to eat Screaver?" Nami asked, taking a seat.

"I'm going the bar first. Be back later." I said.

* * *

I sat at the bar, in a very cushy bar stool.

I looked at all the drinks they had along the wall.

I tapped the table to get the bartender's attention.

"Scotch and soda."

Not that I had any knowledge about drinks, but that was one of the ones my mom liked.

He nodded and started to fix my drink.

"Never took you as a scotch man."

Michael was sitting next to me, in his typical gray suit and fedora. He still wore the shades indoors.

"Well, here you are."

He nodded. "Bartender. Bring me a glass of your _cheapest _wine."

The guy slid my drink to me, and then gave Michael a funny look.

Michael just nodded and the dude went off to get a bottle.

"Any drink you can have, and you chose crappy wine?"

He sighed. "It makes me happy."

The man gave him a glass and poured the red drink.

"Any sight of our special guest?" I asked.

He took the glass and swirled it around. "He's somewhere behind that stage. My guess he's one of the musicians."

I chuckled. "Maybe it's that what's her face. Clearday or something?"

"The woman? Well, a person from your world being the top musician and 3rd hottest chick in the sea is quite an accomplishment."

"Yup." I said, spinning around and resting my back on the counter behind me. "We _earthlings_ know how to do it."

I grabbed my drink and held it out to Michael.

"A toast."

"To what?" He asked.

I sighed. "To a well deserved vacation."

He chuckled. "To good friends."

I laughed. "To wacky antics and crazy crewmates."

He laughed, but then got serious. "To the One Piece."

I nodded. "To _One Piece_."

-CLINK-

I downed the drink.

"GUUUUHOOOAH!" I gagged.

I swallowed it down alright, but it was pretty hard.

Michael sipped his wine glass and laughed. "Scotch is pretty hard…for women at least."

I grumbled at him.

-CLUNK-

Someone was making noises at the end of the bar.

Zoro was knocking back mugs like it was nothing.

"Need another!" He would say, as the bartender keep refilling his mug.

"Damn." Michael said. "This place really is crazy." He said.

I put my glass down and got up.

"I'm gonna get something to eat. You gonna be alright?"

He waved me off. "I'm fine. I'll keep it quiet. Maybe chat up a few ladies, give'em the whole silent mysterious type act. But I'll talk to you when I spot the person."

I nodded and went back to the table.

Luffy and the others had already ordered enough food to feed a small village, so I picked up what I wanted and dug in.

Ohohoho man, this stuff was to die for!

Shimmering ribs, stuffed crab claws, heavy Ceaser salad, massive baked potatoes, and tons of other stuff I couldn't begin to describe.

The primest of prime meats, the freshest of fresh greens, the best quality money can buy.

And it was...all...mine.

I was about halfway done before Nami tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hey, wipe your face."

I grunted, and grabbed a napkin. "What's wrong?"

She tilted her head towards the dance floor. "Wanna dance?"

I stood up straight, wipping my face spotless.

"I…would…love to."

* * *

I wasn't much of a dancer to begin with.

But when I was with Nami…I still wasn't that good.

But honestly, neither did she really.

The music was in full swing. There were people doing something like swing dancing and some like the _flail your arms_ dancing.

I mimicked what others were doing, but keep in mind I come from a place where ALL dances are composed of mosh pits!

She didn't seem to know what she was doing either, but was clearly having fun. And at one point…

-SMACK-

…she backhanded me in the chin.

"Oh crap! I'm sorry!" She laughed.

I laughed nervously.

The song then changed into a slow, more ball-like swing.

I rubbed me face and sighed.

I held out my hand to her.

She rolled her eyes. "Obviously."

Her hand on my hand. My other hand on her waist. And her other hand on my shoulder.

We swayed for a while; she wasn't making eye contact with me.

"So…the ship's gonna be fixed soon." I said randomly.

She looked at me and seemed to snap into work mode. "I talked to the old man Garrett. He said it will be ready by tomorrow."

I nodded in agreement.

Then it got silent again.

"Well, how's being a navigator?"

She looked confused. "What?"

"You know, how does it feel? To be a…navigator?"

She looked up and thought for a moment. "I can't remember the last time someone asked me that."

_Small talk; my ace in the pocket._

"Well, I love it. I love being a pirate. Sure, we do end up in a lot of fights but we get to see some of the most amazing things in the world. And I'm going to see it all, and draw a map of it all."

She nodded. "Yep. That's my answer. Now I get to ask you a question."

"I'm an open book baby."

_And by open book I mean a cursed diary with a padlock._

She gave me an inquisitive look. "Where did you come from?"

I almost stopped.

"Um…"

"I remember when we first met Screaver; you just showing up out of nowhere on that East Blue island all heroic-like and obnoxious. You didn't live on that island, I know that. Whenever someone asks you the question, you dodge it in panic. And I'm not fully sure I buy all the stories you've made up about your past. Demon Weapon or not, exactly _what_ are you?"

_If Robin told her anything, I'm going to…no. I'm pretty sure she didn't tell. Otherwise, Nami would say so._

I was stumped. Here I was, slow dancing with Nami in the swankiest club in the ocean, and somehow she has no clue about who I really am.

I knew all about her, SHE knew I knew, but I was still a mystery to most of these guys.

And if I really wanted a relationship with his girl, I knew I couldn't lie forever.

"It's…complicated."

She shook her head. "No. _My_ life is complicated. It's fine if you don't want to tell, I like you for who you are now, not who you were. But honestly, if you think it's that bad, I won't think of you any differently. Well…maybe a little."

I scoffed. She smirked.

_Should I…tell her the truth? Michael?_

…

_Hello?_

…

No response.

I was on my own.

I gulped.

"Um…well. My name is _really_ Screaver Bartel."

She nodded sarcastically.

"Screaver D. Bartel. Screaver _Damien_ Bartel."

She looked confused. "I didn't know the **D** stood for anything."

I nodded. "It's not like Luffy. My middle name is _Damien_."

She nodded. "Interesting. Well, that's something I didn't know."

I nodded. "Well, I had…_have_ a mom and dad."

Again, sarcastic nod.

"And a sister!"

She seemed intrigued. "What's her name?"

"Katherine."

"She sounds nice." Nami said politely.

I scoffed. "Yeah right."

She smiled. "Well, this is good! I know a little more about you now."

She moved in closer to me.

"So…where are you from? Really?"

The moment of truth.

"Oh…that's the complicated part."

She looked intrigued. "Go on."

"It's…_really_ hard to explain."

She scoffed. "Screaver, please. After EVERYTHING we've seen? Gorilla men and Gods and giant rivers to the sky?"

I sighed, and then took a deep breath.

"Well…the state I'm from…"

"State?" She said.

"_Island,_" I changed, "is called Texas."

"Ok. I've never heard of this _Texass_. Is it small?"

"Oh it's pretty big. It's about the biggest state."

She still didn't get it, but she just shrugged off the confusion. "Ok. _TEXAS._ Sounds…nice."

I shook my head. "Eh, it's not all that great. I didn't really fit in as a kid. Got into a lot of trouble as a kid. Then I learned how to fight…and got into fights a lot."

She nodded.

I felt really awkward about telling her about my childhood, because _her _childhood was so…fucked up.

Mother murdered by evil pirates, enslaved, had to steal ever since she was like a ten year old or whatever.

_Seriously, **fuck** Arlong. That long nosed fucking bitch faced fucker._

"Still, you seem to be leaving out something." She pressed.

And by pressed, I mean with her boobs.

We were pretty close by this point. My arm was all the way around her, are hands were relaxed; the music had decreased into like a slow waltz.

And then, it concluded.

The crowd applauded.

Nami and I were still close together.

"So?"

I kissed her on impulse.

I held it a little longer, and then she pushed away. "Ok. I guess you don't want to talk."

I shook my head.

"Alright now folks!" One of the musicians said on his shell on a stick (my guess a den den mushi microphone.) "Thank you for listening to our humble little band."

The dozen musicians stood up and bowed as the people clapped.

"And now, for your ears AND eyes, the Singer of the Sea! The Mermaid of Mellody! Madeline…Clearsky!"

Nami cheered with everyone else, I just put my hands together and clapped a bit.

_Screaver, I'm back._ Michael said.

_Where were you? I was spilling my guts to Nami!_

_What? Eh, it's about time._ He said.

_HEY!_

_What? Besides, I was talking to Robin._

_You WHAT?_

_Relax._ He said. _I'm still not telling her the truth. Unless you give the go on that. Anyway, I'm altering your vision to spot the real world person._

_Ok. How?_

_They're light up in a bright glow, but only to you. Ok?_ He said.

_Ok, whatever._

The audience's cheering grew silent, as the lights dimmed.

The sound of heels clacking grew louder from behind the stage.

The lights grew dark.

From my vision, a glowing silhouette of a woman walked to center stage.

_I guess this Clearsky is our fine friend._

…

_Michael._

_Dear…fucking…God. _He said, sounding more terrified than I had ever heard of him in my life.

I didn't like the sound of that.

The lights flashed on her.

-SHINE-

Dear. Fucking. God.

The woman was clearly about mid 20's to late 20's, but she was a blowout.

That's like a knockout but better.

She was…just…unbelievably beautiful.

The face, the body, the legs!

She had long, long smooth black hair. She had make-up on, with bright red lipstick that went great on her.

Her long black dress clung to her shape tight.

And her breasts…oh the breasts were…

Well they were on that _huge boob_ line that was big, but not to the point where it was unappealing.

I mean, HUGE fake boobs are just kinda off putting.

I mean, hers were huge, but not to which they were unattractive.

Ok, enough about boobs.

She was just…a vision of beauty.

But despite that godly beauty and sexual fantasy, that wasn't why both Michael and I said good fucking God.

…_Son of a bitch._

I had no idea what to say or think.

That cute face…that nose…those dark brown eyes.

_How…the hell…I can't even…whu…_

As the crowd cheered as the lights can on her, my vision lighting up as if this woman was a glowing angel, I gripped Nami tightly.

She looked at me with worry. "Screaver?"

My face had fear all over it. Fear, and disbelief.

"Screaver! What is it?"

"…uhuh…"

She was getting upset. "Ok, I get it; she's beautiful but honestly…"

By the look of my face, she realized it wasn't a look of lust.

"Screaver." She asked softly. "What's wrong?"

"…Catilin."

She didn't understand. "Who?"

"That woman. She looks…like Catilin."


End file.
